A Matter of Honor
by Adridere
Summary: COMPLETE - Almost 4 years after the war. Aang is engaged to Katara and is up to Zuko to teach him the facts of life. Yep, the bees and the birds. Crazy kings, bananas and the ultimate contest for the hand of a reluctant maiden. Zutara/Taang
1. Arrival

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A/N: I started this story before the finale and it follows canon until (probably) the Boiling Rock and then goes AU. AU of sorts, because I am keeping some stuff from the later chapters and the finale (July 21, 2008).

Please remember, the idea is to have fun while reading this.

**This story was inspired by a beautiful drawing in Deviant Art called "Avatards for Life" by arch-nsha in deviant art dot com. **

**And, of course, I own ATLA. That is the reason why I am writing fanfiction. What else would I be doing instead? (In case Nick's attorneys don't get it, this is called Irony. The Supreme Court says it's OK. Seriously. Go and check it out. Right there next to Parody)**

* * *

_Preface: During the long days of fighting, warriors tend to forget about things. Like being young, carefree, or able to sleep until noon. Warriors are serious minded people. They do not worry about fancy clothes, shoes or jewelry. They do not have time for lazy gossipy afternoons drinking cosmopolitans. They do not confess that besides saving the world all girls, even warrior girls, just want to have fun._

**I. Arrival**

The way Toph recounted the story to her kids years later made it sound easier than it actually was. She sort of did it on purpose. Not telling the truth that was. The truth would have made a lot of people very uncomfortable. Particularly her friends.

It started with that blasted trip to the South Pole. Actually, it started years before, but the trip to the South Pole was the catalyst. Toph hated the snow. For starters, she had to wear shoes. No way would she risk losing her amazing feet to frostbite. Second, she couldn't bend. The greatest earthbender in the world on top of cold, never-ending ice was, to put it mildly, freaking useless. And last but not least, she was blind. Literally. With shoes, and no earth, she was just another, run-of-the mill, typical blind girl. Well, young woman. Teenager? Whatever. Again. Literally.

She bent over the railing of the ship, head hanging over the ocean, in a bad mood. Not only she was seasick, to add insult to injury, she had an escort. No, not an escort. _Two escorts_. Like _she_ needed an escort. She, who was the leader of, and who could install the fear of the gods into, one of the most fearsome and treacherous group of men. She, who as the head of the Dai Li, was regarded with reverence by everyone. But she had made the mistake of visiting her parents in Gaoling before her trip. And there things turned sour. The conversation with her parents went from dutiful to shouting to earth shattering (factually in this case) to finding herself in a ship bound south with the Pebble and the Hippo. That was the biggest aggravation her father had come up with. She had to baby sit the two morons for the length of the trip and last night, she had to rescue them from a bar brawl at the restocking port.

She was now green in the face, giving her stomach the last rights, while her two bodyguards snored soundly below deck. It was all Sparky's fault. He was the one who convinced her that visiting her parents often to 'make up for the anguish' she put them through when she was saving the world was a good idea. His own words. Dammed Sparky. He was starting to sound like Twinkle Toes and she deserved everything she was going through right now for listening to him. She felt the rush of iced wind in her face. Finally, she mumbled to herself, we are almost there.

When Toph's ship docked on the ice on the brink of the Southern Water Tribe village, she could hear, among the voices that came to receive her, those she cared about. She ran to the voices, almost throwing the captain of the ship overboard, when a rush of wind, arms and legs hit her toppling her to the ground.

"Twinkle Toes!!"

"Sifu T!!"

They screamed at each other with authentic glee.

"Wow, Twinkle Toes you have finally grown!" She exclaimed, putting both her hands over his bald head. He laughed and she heard him scratch the back of his head.

"You too, Sifu T." He said. "You are almost as tall a Katara now." Before she could ask where Katara was, she heard her scream:

"Toph!!" and felt her light feet running towards her.

"Sugar QUEEN!!" She screamed back just before being swept in an embrace of furs and braids.

"For the Spirits, it's so GOOD to see you!!" Katara yelled on her ear. Toph smiled.

"Yeah, it's good to see you too. You look so pretty!"

"Thank yo...! " It took her a second to get a grip. "Toph!" She said without scolding "It's so good to have you back!"

"It's good to be back! Where is Sokka? And Suki? Has everyone arrived yet or…" She stopped on her tracks. "No, it can't be" She said and then her smile intensified "POPS!! SPARKY!!" She let go of Katara and ran towards the two men. She jumped on Sparky who hold her with his low, soft laugh and twirled her, actually twirled her, around. She then turned and hugged Pops. She could hear the incredulity in Katara's voice murmuring to Aang in the distance.

"She is always _nice_ to them." Toph decided to ignore her. She was busy pushing Pops.

"Fire Lord Pops! You came! I thought you were too busy to attend, you know, reconstructing the world and everything". Uncle Iroh chuckled.

"Ah, Master Bei Fong, it is not everyday that a humble Fire Lord gets invited to a Peace Summit. This is the first time in one hundred and five years I believe. I wonder why?" he added, the old Iroh right there under the Fire Lord's surface "And to crown the negotiations: the Avatar's Commitment Ceremony! I could not say no to such an honor" lowering his voice so only she and Sparky could hear he smiled "It is also a good excuse to let my hair down, away from the Ministers".

"That's the spirit Pops!" She exclaimed, punching him in the arm "Let's get tea-drunk together!" She turned her face to where she could feel Sparky's presence. "You too, last time we went drinking you let me asleep under the table. This time, vengeance is mine!" Sparky pat her on the head.

"Champion, you can't out-drink me. You don't have what is needed." She raised an eyebrow.

"What? A sissy hairdo?" He stifled a laugh.

"Breath of fire." Suddenly she shuddered and grabbed both men arms.

"Talking about fire," she mumbled "I'm hanging out with you two for the rest of the event. This place is _cold_ and I need more than smelly furs to keep me warm. Honestly, an entire world and _this_ is the place for a Peace Summit? And a Commitment Ceremony? What's with _that_? Who was stupid enough to choose this plac..." Sparky hushed her, but she already knew Katara and Aang were approaching. "So" she said loudly "When did you two get here?"

"Hours ago." Sparky answered.

"You missed the most amazing reception!" Katara piped in, almost shrilly. "Delegates from both the North and the South did a performance to welcome the Fire Nation royal delegation! I've never been so proud!" Toph considered this for a second.

"You mean, I missed a performance of waterbenders in ice?" _Thank you Spirits! _"I am desolated." She said with a straight face. She could feel Sparky's amusement. It had to do with the way he would shift his body, like turning his face so no one else could see him. Katara was in a roll, though.

"You have no idea Toph, how hard everyone has been working here to welcome all the delegates, and friends and guests! Gran-Gran is in charge of an army of people whose only job is to make sure this event is perfect. Dad has been at his most commanding since the guests started arriving a couple of days ago. I never thought my village would be visited by royals and Kings!!"

Aang felt forced to intervene.

"Bumi is here." He said happily. "And he went personally to Ba Sing Se to get Kuei after you left. The Earth King is lost unless you are around. And then, you know how it is, Bosco and Flopsie came along."

"So, your village is full of mad Earth Kings and their animals? Then, wait until I show you _my_ pets_. _They will fit right in with Bosco and Flopsy. Make sure please that there is enough space in Appa's stable for them. They are sleeping below deck right now, but I will make sure to wake them up before we go." Toph suddenly missed someone. "Where is Sokka?"

"Oh my!" She heard Katara slap her own mouth. "He's going to kill me. Sokka wanted me to tell him in advance when your ship arrived! He's probably livid that we came to get you without him!"

Toph grabbed Iroh's arm.

"So, what are we waiting for?" She said. "Let's go to town! Katara, come and show me this _lovely_ village of yours."

Visiting Katara and Sokka's original Southern Water Tribe village turned out to be a short event. Very short. She couldn't see, but she understood that they were in the original settlement, a small affair of several tents in a semi-circle crowned by Gran-Gran's hut and Chief Hakoda's main igloo. That was it. However, even since before the end of the war, waterbenders from the North and scattered clans from the Southern Water Tribes had been convening to the area to re-built, and sprawling away from what was the original village a entire new city could be felt. Two new ice towers announced the entry to what was now called the outer village. The outer village felt, even if muffled by the snow, like an ant hill. People with all sorts of accents and smells were running from one side to the other. Toph could feel the blasts of ice of waterbenders building and even the heat of firebenders helping, with something. The gods knew what.

Since leaving the ship, Katara had been talking non stop. Going on and on about who was attending the Summit, the guests, the accommodations, the entertainment to be had. Every time Aang tried to pipe something in, she would shut him up and continue with her happy tirade. To the point that he lagged behind and left her to lead the group. Toph, walking arm in arm with Uncle Iroh could feel the older gentleman's warm bemusement. Sparky, always the quiet type, walking at the rear, would mumble something very softly to Aang who would stifle a laugh. She could still make up some of the conversation, though.

"_Incredible, uh?_" Twinkle Toes was saying.

"_Absolutely. It was barely a village._" Sparky was mumbling in response. "_Now they have _buildings."

"And this is Sokka's testing shop." Katara was explaining with pride. "This is where he tests his inventions and where he designs the plans for the city."

Toph assented totally disoriented. Walking on the snow she couldn't see where they were going. Every time someone said something about the surroundings, she tried to turn her head where the voice was coming but more often than not found herself looking the wrong way. She knew this to be true because Sparky will softly turn her head and body the other way. She just couldn't make anything up. Besides, her shoes were too thin and her feet were starting to get really, really cold.

"So, where is Sokka?" She asked. She could hear Katara's smile in her voice.

"He is coming. Be patient. He has a surprise for you"

She couldn't stop herself.

"I hope we are talking about earth filled shoes so I can walk in this place."

Katara sighed.

"Something like that" she started to say when Sokka's full form invaded the space grabbing Toph and swirling her around. The snow was really getting at her because she couldn't even feel him coming, and Sokka was not known for his stealth.

"Toph! You are here!" He embraced her tightly, and Toph felt her cheeks burning. Sokka's open happy manners always challenged her well placed attitude. "I am so happy to see you!" Suddenly he opened his arms "Gosh, I am happy to see everybody here! GROUP HUG!" Toph was swept in an embrace that included everyone, and that confirmed what she suspected, she was still the shorter of the group. Not by much, but still. She heard Suki's voice in the commotion.

"Let me in, Sokka let me in!" Toph raised her hand when Sokka let go of everyone and touched his face. It was wet.

"You are such a pansy, Sokka." She said endearingly and, suddenly, felt home.

Sokka's surprise was a sleigh, a metal one, so she could feel vibrations when she was sitting in it. It was supposed to be dragged by south pole dog-seals, but she decided that it was time for her two bodyguards to earn their salaries. Besides, just hearing what the Pebble would say when presented with the harness was worth the trip. It was also good because Sparky flatly refused to carry her piggy back during the last half of the tour. She could not earthbend him into submission and, as he said, he had already paid any debt he owed her for burning her feet. So she had to walk in the cold snow until reaching her accommodations and _that_ have not been fun.


	2. The Facts of Life

**II. The Facts of Life.**

Toph was lying down in Katara's bedroom. Katara was still talking, and for all she knew the only sure way to shut her up at this point was killing her. Toph cursed mentally. The woman had been talking non stop since the ship. If she were in any other place on the planet besides the stupid ice poles, she could have bent a concussion upon her friend by now and get some rest.

"… And since Aang has to keep with his work of keeping balance in the whole world, we just couldn't sequester ourselves here at the poles. So I told daddy, no I _promised_ daddy, that we would at least have the Commitment Ceremony here. He wanted a traditional Southern Water Tribe wedding, you know, with the entire Tribe and our closest friends as part of the wedding party, but he was willing to accept that the Air Nomad way…"

Toph counted mentally before rising from the bed and smacking the back of Katara's head.

"Shut up." She said levelly. "Please shut up. I know you are nervous and everything, but you have been talking since I got out of that boat. You don't let me _think_". She heard Katara gasp.

"I am so sorry Toph." She said sincerely. " I've been so looking forward to get you here to have a real girl's talk, that I just cannot control myself." Toph tilted her head.

"You are joking, aren't you?" She asked seriously. "You've been waiting _for me _to talk about gifts, invitations and menus?" Katara's silence spoke a very loud answer. "You've been waiting for _me_ to talk about girly stuff?" Toph realized with horror that this was, in fact, the case.

"But Toph!" Katara whined. "You're my best friend! My best female friend!"

"Katara." She said slowly. "I don't know how to put this gently, but I don't do girly. I don't care about menus and invitations, and I definitively cannot help you with the dress. I am blind!"

"Oh, don't worry about the dresses." She felt Katara waiving a hand in the air. "Suki is helping with those."

"Those?" Panic set in. "You are going to make me wear a bridesmaid dress, aren't you?"

"But Toph," Katara's voice sounded even whinier now. "It's absolutely beautiful."

Toph got up from the bed and raised a finger.

"Katara, I am blind, but I can _feel _fugly. And right here, right now, my entire body is shaking under the vibrations of fugly. Whatever you want me to wear, is in this room with me and I need to get out."

She ran.

"But where are you going?" Katara called back from the room. "You can't see in the snow!!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Toph ran helping herself by tracing her fingers across the ice walls. She was now wearing very warm moccasins, which helped. The shoes were courtesy of Sparky and Pops who being, as they described themselves, from the tropics came very well prepared for their time in the South Pole. Sparky, specially, brought the smaller size for her.

"I know you Champ." He said while giving her the shoes. "You will find any excuse to get me to carry you in my back."

Toph was so relieved with her feet warm, that thinking about Sparky immediately brought a smile to her face. There was a chap who was a good friend. The best in her entire world. Suddenly she stopped. Talking about Sparky, she could hear his voice. The raspy voice that sounded like something broken put back together.

"Sokka, no." He said, and there was final determination in the voice.

"What you mean no?" Sokka's voice was an octave higher. "What kind of friend are you?"

Toph slided along the walls, following the sound of the voices. On ice, she couldn't really tell where they were, but the voices carried enough strength to guide her, even if they were hushing.

"I am not the right person for the job." Sparky said.

"You are absolutely the right person for the job!" was the answer. Toph knew that Sokka was gesticulating wildly, even if she couldn't feel him. "You are Mr. Hotman for moon's sake! If you cannot talk to him about that, no one can."

"But ... what about your dad? He has become like a father figure to him, has he not?"

"Seriously. You didn't just say that. If I have problems talking about my baby sister, what do you think is going to happen to my Dad??" Sparky sounded deflated when he spoke again.

"You have a point."

"I have a point? Of course I have a point! One wonders how the Fire Nation got to be so mighty with what's going on in the head of the royal family."

"Maybe we can ask Uncle to …"

"Your Uncle? Listen to yourself man! This is Aang we are talking about. Uncle Iroh is going to fill him with wise sounding quotes and tea. How do you think _that_ is going to work for a monk?" Toph heard Sparky's hand meeting his forehead.

"OK." He said in a murmur. "I'll see what I can do."

"You'll see? No, you're not seeing anything. You're doing it. Period. Listen Zuko, we are friends. You're Aang's best man. For the Moon, you are probably my best friend, and you and I know that is as crazy as the world can get. So you have no choice. You need to help. No way out this one. I am not doing it, my dad is not doing it, we don't want Gran-Gran to do it, Master Pakku is more clueless than Aang, if that's possible, and if any of the men of our tribe is forced to do it, well … we won't be able to show our faces in this village ever again."

Toph could not hear Sparky's answer, but Sokka's relieved "Thank you man" and the sound of a slap in the back told her that Sparky had nodded. She heard Sokka's sure steps and waited a couple of seconds before showing her face. She leaned against the door trying to asses the dimensions of the room. But it was made, as everything in this place, of wood and ice.

"Sparky?" She called. He must have been with his back to the door because she heard him jump, startled.

"Champ!" He exclaimed. "You gave me a fright." He walked towards the door and grabbed her hand, guiding her to a sit. He put a warm blanket, or fur or something, over her knees and gave her a cup of something hot. Tea, obviously. She smelled the tea and took a sip.

"Hey!" She exclaimed pleasantly surprised. "You're becoming as good as Pops!"

"I know. Sokka thinks is not manly, but then he also thinks that I'm probably the only man besides my uncle that can get away with it."

"With what?"

"Not doing manly things."

She sipped her tea wondering how to breach the topic.

"So," she said carefully. "You're in for a tough job, Sparky."

He seemed surprised.

"What job?"

"Teaching manly things to Aang." He was very careful to show no emotion on his voice.

"I told you many times to stop eavesdropping. Even if you cannot help it. One of these days you ears are going to get singed."

She ignored him.

"Well, this is going to be a challenge. Right up there with beating your dad."

"I know."

"You should know. How tough it isn't. I mean, it is."

"What?"

"Gracious me, you are denser than Aang. No wonder you guys get along so well. Well Sparky," she said resolutely, putting her tea cup down. "You need to know. I was there."

"You were where?"

"There, silly, when the entire thing happened."

"When what happened?"

The fact that the pace of his heartbeat did not change (and she was sitting close enough to tell), told Toph that he really was not getting it. She decided for the best policy.

"When you and Sugar Queen were going at it." She said bluntly.

The silence was deafening. Specially because his heartbeat was now racing and making more noises that a rhino in heat. Toph waited for him to speak but the thunderous silence continued until she had to stop it.

"You heart is going to make me deaf. Say something."

"I am so _not_ the man for this job!" He said and she heard him lowering his head between his hands.

"You want me to do it?" She asked. He panicked.

"Do what?"

"Talk to Twinkle Toes about the facts of life."

"And what are you going to tell him for Agni's sake?"

"That he doesn't need to worry because Sugar Queen knows everything that there is to know."

"Aaggghhh!!" Toph thought for a moment that Sparky was throwing up, but realized that it was just his breath of fire.

"Listen Sparky," she intervened, deciding to be kind, "this is, I am not going to lie to you, awkward. Awkward for you, for Twinkle Toes and for Sugar Queen. It's not going to be easy, but Sokka is right. Someone has to do it. Friends don't leave friends in the dark regarding the facts of life." He did not answer, but by now she knew him well enough to feel the turmoil inside. She placed a hand on his back.

"What happened between you two after all? The way you guys were vibrating, I thought the entire building was going down."

"The building. Right." He paused for a long minute. "Honor happened." He finally said sadly. Toph raised an eyebrow. She could tell he was bent over his knees, probably looking at his hands, the floor or something. His voice always carried lower when he was looking into a focused point in space. "I was training Aang and suddenly he started telling me about his Avatar State and why he couldn't get into it. He told me about loving her and then I realized the extent of what we were doing."

Toph was speechless.

"You didn't know?"

"How was I supposed to know?"

"Everyone knew! I mean, even Sokka knew, and you have to be mighty stupid to be more stupid than Sokka."

"From what I remember, that did not stop you from liking the guy." He grumbled.

She shrugged.

"One can't help to like what one likes. Anyway, he never gave me the time of the day, so this part of the conversation is moot. So what did you do? You broke up with Sugar Queen because of Aang?"

"Yes and no. Not really. I mean, I don't know how it happened. I told her about it, how he felt and she was so confused, and I too was confused and the fate of the world was at stake. By then my only goal was to protect Aang and defeat my dad, and the whole thing was a huge distraction."

"So… she dumped you?"

"No. I mean, she said she was confused too. She did not know how he felt for her either and they had been together for so long..."

"So, she dumped you." It was a statement of fact now, not a question. He stopped.

"She dumped me." He said after a couple of seconds. "I dumped myself too. I mean, no way I would betray the Avatar. Not after everything I put him through."

"You and your psycho family." She added helpfully.

"Thank you, it's always good of you to remember that bit."

"So, you did the honorable thing. You stepped aside."

He sighed.

"I did."

"And now?"

"Now, I need to talk to Aang about the facts of life … and women". Toph reached for the tea in the darkness and he put a new warm cup on her hand.

"Look at the bright side." She said cheerfully, sipping the hot liquid. "You're definitively the right man for the job. The only one with first hand knowledge of what Aang _really_ needs to know."

"Not helping."

"I know." She stifled a laugh and could tell that he was not angry. She felt bad, though.

"Are you sad?"

"Part of me is. I kept wondering about the 'what if's'. The entire trip on the boat on the way here, I could not stop myself thinking about how I would handle the situation and how uncomfortable the encounter was going to be, but nothing prepared me to be Aang's sifu again."

She looked for his hand in the darkness; he found it and grabbed it.

"You know," she said sincerely, "I think Twinkle Toes and Sugar Queen are very lucky if you are the one to give him the facts of life. Specially Sugar Queen, because is good to be loved and you can make sure that he treats her right. You know, right like that."

He sighed.

"How hard can it be?" He asked aloud, probably to himself.

"He was your student as well as mine, _Sifu_ _Sexy_, you know the answer."

He groaned again.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Toph was not the kind of person to leave well alone. She needed to know the other side of the story.

After talking to Sparky for a while, she was at ease regarding his peace of mind about the entire thing. After all, he had a fatalistic view of the world: his was a world where things would always be hard for him; where he would forever wade against the current. Besides, his honor was involved. Those were the magic words when dealing with Sparky. His honor was like a lamp, a beacon he cling to until it hurt. Especially when it hurt. It cured all ailments and gave him a reason to live.

He swore Katara off the day he found out about Aang's feelings, Toph knew that. Whatever he may say about confusion, and blah, blah, blah she just knew that he had, resolutely, taken himself out of the picture. It was his way. The _quiet sacrificed_ way. At the time, she did not know what happened or the exact reason. Even though he was already her friend by then, he never mentioned anything and she didn't either. But she could remember that even the smell changed. Katara, particularly, started acting like a lunatic monkey-sloth for a while. Everyone thought that it was because of the approaching comet and the new moon. Aang became an expert on bringing Katara down from her own PMS State (Sokka would swear that her eyes glowed in the dark and everything).

Toph finally found Katara's room.

"Freaking frozen tundra." She mumbled to herself.

"I am so disoriented here." She grumbled aloud. She wasn't sure, but for the smell she thought that the other person in the room was Suki.

"Hi Toph!" Katara said lightly. "Where were you? We have been looking for you everywhere. We want you to try on your dress."

"I was with Sparky." She said casually. "You know? Sifu HotMan?" Yep, that was jump in the heartbeat. Suki, with the assurance of the older, confident woman who has been with the same guy for a while, intervened.

"That's sifu HotMan alright." She felt Katara turning to look at Suki.

"What do you mean?"

"Have you seen the guy lately?" Suki pressed on. "I mean, I thought he looked good before. Particularly when training without his shirt. But now, wow!" She whistled. "That height, and the shoulders, and the hair... it's probably a good thing that I'm not a firebender or I will self-combust." She stopped for a second. "Please don't tell Sokka I said this."

Toph threw herself on the bed.

"Is he that good looking, really?" She asked innocently. Katara's heart raced again.

"Well." She answered. "If you happen to like his type."

"What's his type?"

Silence.

"Dark, mysterious, willing to help?" Toph pressed. "Honorable?" The last one came out slower.

Katara stopped in her tracks.

"Yes." She said after a pause. "Honorable."

"I thought so." Toph rose from the furniture and shivered. "I am going back to look for my friend Sparky. He is a warm guiding light in this forsaken frozen place. And I can't even see light."

"Toph," Katara admonished, "don't be rude."

"I am not being rude. I'm just saying. By the way, I didn't notice before but the water tribe is really good a bending another element."

"What's that?" Katara asked distractedly.

"Stupidity." She answered matter of factly and left the room.


	3. Reminiscences

**III. Reminiscences.**

The entire South Pole seemed to be under a deluge. Guests from the four corners of the world kept arriving. The Peace Summit was not a social affair but a deeply political one, where old enemies were ready to face each other ... and talk. The fact that it was supposed to close with a Commitment Ceremony, or whatever was it that they were calling two war heroes shacking up together, was the ideal cover to force negotiators and ministers to keep talking about trade and how to survive peace after everyone had forgotten how to prosper under it.

It took Toph five seconds to understand that Fire Lord Pops and Crown Prince Sparky were there not only for the sake of friendship and old time's sake, but for cunning survival. They came with an escort of firebenders and courtiers including, to everyone's surprise, Sparky's mom, the better to fend off the retinue of passive aggression from the other nations. Fire Lord Pops was fantastic. Toph hadn't really seen him in action in this trip, but as per Sokka's and Katara's musings, the Fire Nation royals were doing more than their part in the Summit. Prince Sparky, everyone hushed, was the heart of his uncle's strategy.

After the defeat of the previous Fire Lord, it has come as a surprise to everybody, including his friends, that Zuko instead of claiming the throne as his own, had reinstated his uncle's birthright. It did not seem to make much sense at the beginning, but almost immediately the strategy paid off. Iroh was, after all, a direct descendant of Azulon, and the predecessor of Ozai. He was old school, part of the previous generation, savvy in the ways of the Court and carrying the weight of his reputation as the Dragon of the West.

Zuko, reinstated as Crown Prince, was made Chief Commander and took immediate charge of the Navy and the Army, always loyal to Iroh, and therefore, by extension, loyal to him. Almost from the first day of regaining power, Zuko went to travel the Fire Nation with an elite crew, in a trip of reconnaissance and reconstruction that was still going after several years. Iroh stayed back at Court, managing the day to day of running a country, the nobles and the intrigue with a firm hand.

Zuko would come back to the capital often, to regroup with Iroh, discuss pressing matters, make decisions, convene with the nobles, leave his own imprint on the Court, and remind everyone that he was not the banished Prince anymore, but the rightful heir to the Crown who happened to be gathering the full support of the military and the direct love of the Fire Nation population itself. He was not loved by the nobles (he couldn't care less about the nobles), but by the subjects, the populace and even the rabble. The Crown Prince was hugely popular in his own country... and beyond its borders.

He would not limit his efforts to the Fire Nation. He would often travel with the Avatar to the other nations to negotiate issues of trade directly or even to go on adventures again. It was not uncommon to hear stories of the Fire Nation prince helping travelers against highway robbers. Or like that occasion when he saved a group of Earth kingdom refugees from pirates and personally got King Bumi to welcome them to Omashu. Or even better, those stories of him getting waterbenders and healers to help with the aftermath of a tsunami in one of the Fire Nation islands. One of the best stories was how the Prince and the Avatar sought and found the lost Earth King and returned him to his throne in Ba Sing Se (and got her a job in the bargain, but that was another story). The guy had become an idealized figure in the minds of the populace: that of a noble prince who could command an army without wearing armor (except for the dao swords in his back), but who could defeat a group of mercenaries single handed, as well as ... stopping to save a squirrel-cat perched on a tree.

Toph shook her head, laying in bed, on her back. "Tough competition Twinkle-toes." She muttered to herself. Not that Aang would see anything Sparky did as competition. In that sense, Aang was truly a product of his upbringing by the monks. He was always so happy that Sparky was willing to help, that Zuko would exorcise his demons and purge his family's sins by making amends to the world. The fact that Sparky was becoming more popular than the Avatar himself ... well, that was another matter altogether. Toph was _sure _that Aang did not know about the lore, the songs, and the bards singing not only the praises of the young Avatar but the graces of the Fire Prince. She knew Aang and his teenage ego. She also knew Sparky and his deep rooted belief that he had to work hard at being accepted.

When the war was over, Toph had not been ready to go back home. If rules and smothering made her cringe before, now that she knew real freedom the idea of going back to her parents would make her sick, literally. She would correspond with her parents, but every time a letter came back asking her to return home, she would have to find the safest hidden corner and hyperventilate in private. She tried to convince them to come see _her, _but they plainly refused. All her friends thought that she needed to go home and face them, the sooner the better. Sparky was the one who proposed instead that she spend some time in the Fire Nation before going back home.

"She has to be ready to face them." He said evenly to Aang and Katara, when they said it was a bad idea. "You cannot rush these things".

She was grateful. She knew that the Fire Nation royals were insanely busy with their politics, and moreover, that unless power was consolidated soon, the rest of their lives would be a non stop streamline of putting out fires and civil war threats. So she stayed with them, and helped.

She could have gone with Aang, Katara, Sokka and Suki whom, after spending some time in the Fire Nation, went to other places. But she decided to stay with Sparky and Pops for several reasons. One of them being that by then she knew of Sparky's plan to travel his own country to personally lead the reconstruction effort.

"You cannot govern what you don't know" he said with that new acquired wisdom that made Katara sneer.

Deep down Toph also knew that Sparky's renunciation of the throne was a way of keeping his freedom for a little longer. After so many years in exile, Sparky had grown fond of the liberty on the road and, besides, he knew that the trappings of government and power would anyway be there waiting for him at his return. It was the same for her. Her parents and the rules would be there tomorrow as well as today. The difference was that once she got home, saving the world would not be a valid excuse to leave again (not that it ever was).

So, for some time she went on the road with Sparky and his men. She ended up proving to be a great asset. She could tell him when someone was lying; she could wake him up if an enemy was about to attack; she was great to exercise with (nothing like the daily sparring match between earth and fire); she was happy to earthbend people into doing the right thing; and she grew fond of spending time with a bunch of guys who did not treat her like a flower. She suspected that Sparky warned his men not to, ever, under pain of concussion and death, try to protect her or treat her like a helpless girl. Nevertheless, some of them tried, at the beginning. It lasted probably two days. By the dawn of the third day all pretenses that she was a blind, small boned, pre-teen were dropped. If it wasn't because she was so fearsome, she was sure they would have named her their mascot. As it stands, they did not _dare. _And she liked it that way. Sparky was the best company during those days. She relished the sense of humor and the camaraderie of soldier life. It fitted her like a glove. And Sparky was particularly funny when he let his guard down.

She was thirteen the first time she decided to try the fire whiskey the soldiers would drink during Music Nights (a tradition started by Fire Lord Pops that Sparky had decided to reinstate). She had been kicking their butts at playing dice (Sparky had refused to play, telling her in a very low voice that he knew she was a cheat) when someone dared her to bet a drink. Sparky was in his tent looking at rolls and letters, so not having anyone to stop her, she accepted the challenge. She had been surprised about how easy it was for her the first shot. She barely felt it on her throat. The soldiers were amazed.

"Wow!" Captain Yin said. "That thing put hairs in men chests."

Toph shrugged.

"It's not my fault that I am surrounded by little girls." She answered grinning.

And right there, it has been the beginning of the end. By the second shot she could feel neither the drink nor her toes, and by shot number four she lost control of her legs and started earthbending soldiers into oblivion. Sparky had to intervene. She thought he would burst an artery or something, the way he was screaming at his men. She took serious offense when he yelled that "_Couldn't they see that she was just a little girl?_" and decided to earthbend him into respect, after all she was the greatest earthbender in the entire stupid world (_hiccup_) and deserved some respect. But when she tried to send him into the air she ended up bringing the entire camp down by mistake, which forced Sparky to carry her over his shoulder and throw her in the nearby river to stop the damage. The cold water sobered her up. She found herself sitting in the river, the shallow water running cold around her waist, her feet and legs. Sparky came over and sat next to her in the water, putting an arm across her shoulders. That was when she started to cry.

"He never, ever, paid any attention to me!" she wailed, completely ignorant until then that it hurt so much. Sparky did not say anything, nor did he try to console her. He just hugged her and let her cry. She tried explaining "Is not that I was not nice to him, or anything. I mean, I was always talking to him and making him laugh and insulting him in a _very nice _way! But he never paid any attention! And then he gives me this" she showed Sparky the bracelet, her most prized possession "he actually gave me this, and next thing you know, he is braving a boiling lake in a volcano to save _her_." Toph pushed Sparky, who did not let go. "And you, you helped!! You helped him get his girlfriend back!" She tried to punch him but failed, and Sparky kept hugging her. "And then the war is over and over they go, to travel the world, without me! He didn't even ask me if I wanted to go. He did not even care that I did not go." She finished quietly. Toph would have kept crying if it wasn't because of the nausea. She threw up all over her and him. Sparky held her head while she was throwing up, making little hushing noises and saying something that sounded like "It's going to be OK, it is going to be OK". She raised her head, looking for his hushing voice.

"Is she very pretty, Sparky?" She asked sadly.

"She is just older." He said with certainty. Toph was at a loss.

"What?"

Sparky caressed her hair.

"She is older than you, so she is closer to what Sokka likes. But you, you are the Earth Rumble Six Champion. The greatest earthbender in the world. The only metal bender known to men. The Avatar's teacher. The most fearsome teacher he has, I may add. And the best looking one too."

She was so happy to hear _that_, that she didn't care if it was not true.

"Do you really think so?" She asked. And his voice was utterly honest when he answered:

"Yes. I absolutely do."

She smiled happily.

"Sokka is a moron." She said before throwing up again.

"That, he is." Sparky agreed.

The next morning she woke up with a splitting headache and a massive hangover. Sparky brought her tea but did not say anything about their conversation or the river. After her tea, she fixed all the damage she had caused and Sparky thanked her the best way. He patted her in the back like a good soldier and left it at that.

Toph rolled over in the bed. She was covered with furs and blankets to withstand the cold. She has been under the covers all afternoon. Not that she was hiding on purpose or anything, but this place was as good as any to avoid Gran-Gran's orders, Katara's non-stop chattering, Suki's charming cheerfulness, her two useless bodyguards and, in general, people asking her questions about the Earth Kingdom and the current political situation. The issue was the ice. For the first time in her life she truly couldn't see and that made her angry and very short tempered. She was also wondering about her friends, and how none of them seem to realize that she was as lost as a little girl in this place. Sparky have been great in that sense, but he was also very busy, involved in politics, being dragged into all the manly activities Sokka had planned for the Summit. Most of the time, she suspected, he was there only as Aang's moral support. She wondered if he had the conversation with Aang. He was truly dreading it. '_How hard can that be?' _She asked herself under the covers _'Aang will be seventeen soon. Monks or no monks, he must have all the urges.' _She got closer to the wall. With her head under the furs and covers she felt like in a cocoon. Her breath warm against the skins. The South Pole outside vibrated in the ice. She started to drift back into sleep.

She woke up to hushed voices in the room. She had no idea what time it was, if it was night-time already or the next day. She recognized the first voice. It was Sparky's. It made sense, she thought, remembering that this was, after all, his room. For several reasons, hiding in the prince's room has been the best way to avoid having anything to do with the Summit, politics or the Commitment Ceremony. No one looked for her there, and the usual Water Tribe rules of openly barging into people's privacy stopped at Zuko's door.

"You have changed as well." He was saying.

Toph heard a rustle of movement, and suddenly a voice she knew too well.

"I am not getting that much taller, unlike you." _What the hell is Katara doing here?_

"It seems like I am condemned to resemble my father. He is tall."

"You will never, ever, be like your father." Katara answered with certainty and Toph knew, not because of vibrations she could not feel, but because her voice has gotten closer to were Sparky's was, that she had approached him. "This will always remind you that you are not him." '_She is probably touching his face right now' _Toph thought and knitted her brow. She decided not to move a muscle. _'At least not now' _she said to herself '_But I definitively reserve the right to intervene if necessary.'_

"What do you want, Katara?" He asked and there was pain in the voice.

"I just want to know if you are happy." She answered lowly. Hum, the voices were still very close to each other.

"It is what it is." He answered. "What about you? Are you happy?"

"I heard that you and Mai are dating again." She said without answering his question. _Really? Sparky is back with the Queen of the Death? Again? Why didn't I know that? _

"She is loyal." He answered. Katara made a little noise. _Was that a snigger?_ _Girl, what did I teach you? You don't snigger at other people's squeezes!_

"Loyalty is not a reason." She said.

"It seems to work for you." _Ouch!_

"Why is she not here?" You had to give it to the girl, she just refused to answer uncomfortable questions.

"I didn't think it was appropriate. She tried to kill all of you several times."

"She saved Sokka's and my father's life. She would have been welcome. She was invited."

"Did you truly want her here?"

A pause.

"No." _Finally! Something that sounds like the truth. _And then, very softly "I've missed you."

"So you said in your letters. You missed our conversations."

"You never answer my letters. You answer Aang's and Sokka's though." _Sokka's? Sokka writes letters? _"But never mine."

"It's not hard to answer your brother's letters. They are one paragraph long, and that's counting the introduction and the farewell." _Now, that makes sense. _

She sighed. It was a deep sigh, almost a sob.

"I thought we could be friends."

"You said so by the river last time. And I tell you now what I told you then, _I_ am your friend." _What river? _

"Do you remember our first night, by the river?" She asked wistfully. "Yue was full that night." _First night? _

"How can I forget?" His voice was so low that another person would have not been able to hear. Silence followed. However, whatever Katara was doing, it included some rustling of clothing. Then something like a moan. _By the Spirits they are kissing! Fussybritches you are a total slut!_

"After all that happened between us ... " He said huskily, but did not finish the sentence, probably because her (newly discovered) harlot friend was kissing him again. Toph started counting, wondering if she could slip from under the covers and into the floor without them noticing, when she felt the weight of two bodies sinking the bed. She went stiff like a pole, and tried to fuse with the wall without moving, desperately thinking that she needed to scram, _pronto. _

The sighs and movement suddenly stopped. His voice was breathy.

"Are you calling the ceremony off?" He asked point blank. Her silence was just too long.

"Zuko, I..." she started. Then, silence. He moved away.

"I'm not doing this." There was anger and finality in his voice. "I'm not doing this to Aang, and not to myself. It's not honorable."

"You are one to speak of loyalty." She answered bitterly. _Wow. Low blow. _

"That" he said very slowly, and very sadly "was beneath you. _This _is beneath us." The weight of one body left the bed. She couldn't figure out if he was going towards the door, but Katara seemed almost faint when she said:

"Please, don't go. Don't. You don't know how hard this is."

"Don't I? I know everything that there is to know about making agonizing decisions between right and wrong. And this is wrong." There was a pause, and then: "Wait ten minutes before leaving this room." His voice had slipped back into its commanding mode, into that natural ability to order around that came so easily and effectively to him. "I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea about us." And with that he was gone.

Katara started crying, and that was when Toph decided to intervene.

"What is wrong with _you?_?" She asked suddenly removing the covers from over her head.

Katara screamed like a swamp hen-banshee and fell off the bed.

"TOPH!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??"

"I'm asking the questions!" She retaliated. "What do you think you are doing trying to seduce Sparky?"

"It is very rude to spy on people!"

"It is very _stupid _to cheat on people, especially before your _commitment_, or whatever is it that you will be doing with Aang!! Are you trying to start another war?"

"What are you talking about?"

"What do you think is going to happen if anyone finds the Avatar's fiancée in the arms of the Fire prince? Do you think your father and your brother are going to take that lightly?"

"I did not think ... I am sor... But ... wait ... what are _YOU_ doing here? In Zuko's bed??"

"Hiding from you!" Was the honest answer and suddenly Katara went quiet.

"Hiding from me?"

"Yep. You have been driving me crazy with your non-stop babble. I thought this was the safest place from you in the entire Pole, so go figure. That was before I knew you were such a floozy."

"I am not a floozy!"

"Oh shut up, Sweetness. You are a complete tramp." She paused and added pensively, "I kept thinking that yours was a bad case of wedding jitters, but now I understand what the problem is."

"What?" Katara sounded suspicious.

"You are nervous. You have been really nervous since I got here. It must be Zuko who makes you nervous, because you are usually annoying in an endearing way, but these last two days have been beyond supportable." Toph knitted her brow "What was all that about a river?"

Katara rose from the floor. Toph could hear her straightening her clothes.

"I have no idea what are you talking about."

"I can hear you blushing." Actually, she couldn't. But Katara didn't know that.

"What?"

"Oh, drop it." She said tiredly, after all it was the second time in this trip she was about to have this conversation. "I was there."

"You were where?"

"At the Western Air Temple! When you and Sparky were going at it."

"Oh, by Yue!!"

"Good, at least you are not denying it."

"We ... we didn't do what you are implying we did." She said a bit defensively.

"Not because you didn't want to, you loose woman." Toph started sliding on the bed and extended a hand to Katara. "Help me out of here. It makes no sense to hide from you anymore." Katara helped her out of the bed, and Toph started searching with her hands.

"What are you looking for?" Katara asked with suspicion. Toph was tracing the lines of Zuko's luggage.

"Fire wine. Maybe fire whiskey if we are lucky. Sparky always travel with some of the best vintages, in case he decides to toast his men or in case uncle Iroh needs it."

"Uncle Iroh needs drinks?" Katara asked incredulously.

"Sometimes, when he thinks too much about Lu Ten." Her fingers recognized the shape of a trunk. "Here! Help me open this!"

Katara helped her with nimble fingers.

"Why are we looking for whiskey?" She asked

"Because you are going to need it. What am I saying? I'm going to need it. We are about to have a serious conversation, some whiskey will come handy." Toph fingers traced the shapes of some square boxes on top of the bottles. "Is this what I think it is?" She asked to herself aloud and opened a box. Her fingers recognized round shapes, soft but firm. "Yep, this is good." She closed the box and put it aside. "Katara, look at the labels. What are these?" Katara kneeled besides her.

"Fire whiskey, aged 12 years. And there are some fire wine bottles too, old vine, Ozai's private cellar this one says."

"Good stuff." Toph assented knowingly. "Get two of each. I'll get the box."

"What's in the box?"

"Something else that we are going to need for this conversation"


	4. Tete a Tete

**IV. Tête-à-tête**

Toph and Katara snuck out of Zuko's room after making sure there was no one to see them. They had to wait a couple of minutes, because Zuko's guards were at the door. "_How did you get in without those guys noticing?_" they sort of asked each other, but dropped the subject when the guards left almost immediately to warm themselves with a cup of tea. By all accounts, life under the rule of Fire Lord Pops was very different than under Ozai. People were allowed to break for tea. Katara and Toph ran with their bounty to Katara's room. Just when they managed to open the door, a voice from the end of the corridor made them jump.

"Katara! I have been looking for you all over!" It was Suki. Katara left out a sigh of relief.

"It's OK." She said calmly. "I was with Toph". Suki reached them while they entered the room. Suki closed the door behind her.

"What happened to you?" She asked suddenly.

"What do you mean?"

"Your hair, your face, you are all flushed and sweaty. Are you feeling well? It is kind of cold here to be sweating."

Katara answered with composure.

"There is nothing wrong with me. I feel fine."

Toph shot an arm towards Suki.

"You, fan-girl!" She said. "I can't see in this terrible place. Help me find some cups to drink a very fine bottle of fire whiskey."

"Fire whiskey?" Exclaimed Suki, and then, "May I join?"

"If you find the cups," Toph shrugged, "be my guest!"

Suki started going over stuff and then came over, probably with the cups in her hands. Toph, meanwhile, accommodated pillows and furs on the wood floor, around a fire stove that irradiated heat in the middle of the room.

"What are we celebrating?" Suki asked innocently.

"That Katara is going to tell the truth, for once." Toph answered. Katara gasped.

"I don't lie!" She said defensively. Toph could feel her unspoken words: _We are not having this conversation in front of Suki!_ but she was too piss off to care. Too angry with the ice, with the cold, with Katara, and even with Sparky, to care.

"You are lying, right now. To our faces. You always lie. You are a born liar. Actually, you are the worse kind of liar, worse than Azula." She concluded self-righteously.

"Ooohh!" Suki said "Brutal!"

Katara was fuming. Toph could feel it.

"Azula? You are comparing me to Azula? How can you say that??"

"Because at least she always knew she was lying, while you, you don't even notice anymore. Are those the cups for the whiskey, fan-girl?"

"Yep. Tea cups. There are not clean, though. There are some leftover tea leaves on them."

"That is how they do it in the fire nation. The put leaves and spices on it and heat it up. We need a firebender to heat this up."

"There were some of the royals guards walking outside. Do you want me to get one?"

"I'll do it." Toph walked to the door and yelled with her very good earthbending lungs "HEY!! FIREGUYS!! WHO IS OUT THERE?"

"Master Toph!" Answered a voice that sounded happy to hear her, "Corporal Chin at your orders!"

"That's the spirit Chin! And it is Great Master Toph to you, by the way, I kicked your butt last time we gambled. I need you to heat this for us." She shot her arm with Sparky's best whiskey on it. Chin blew a whistle of appreciation.

"Are the other ladies going to drink this, Great Master?" He asked doubtfully.

"These are not ladies, Chin, but warriors. Like us. Do not get confused by the boobs and the make up… wait, are you guys wearing makeup?"

"No."

"Nope."

"Just the boobs, then. Come Chin, is for today. Heat it like you are doing it for those sissies in your squadron. I mean, for you comrades."

"Humph. You cannot bend ice, can you great master?"

"What are you implying?"

"I'll heat for you. Should I let His Highness know what happened to his whiskey next time he decides to treat the men?"

"Should I let His Highness know how was it that you became dead meat?"

"Understood, Sir. But eh ... those three copper pieces you won from me last time will really help me forget."

"You are all cheaters and blackmailers in that nation of yours. Take your money and not a word to Spar… I meant, His Highness. He is not my guardian, you know?"

She went back in the room.

"Ladies!" She said happily, "Let's have a chat!"

The chat was a bad idea, from the beginning. First, Toph knew how to do girly, she had the right upbringing after all, but right now she lacked the patience to go through the motions. Too many secrets and shared history, and Katara kept side-stepping the questions. Four years had done a lot to the girl in terms of facing to her actions. Secondly, Toph knew that part of the problem was Suki in the room. She had nothing against the girl, really. As a matter of fact, she grudgingly accepted that Suki was cool. Maybe it was the fellow warrior thing, or the earth kingdom substance thing, but the girl was just cool, about everything. Toph liked that. Katara, on the other hand, was getting on her nerves. So just right now, she rather had Suki in the room than be alone with Katara.

"Well Sugar-cakes," she said after each had had at least 2 shots, "tell us about the river."

"There is _nothing_ to tell." Katara said defensively, and tried to kick Toph, who moved before the foot made contact.

"That is so low, trying to kick a blind girl." Toph said. Katara fumed.

"What river?" Suki asked, while Toph poured more whiskey in her cup.

"The river where this one was practicing some waterbending luv." Toph answered maliciously.

"Stop it." Katara said in a bad mood. "I don't know why you keep insisting."

"Because whatever happened in the Western Air Temple was not what you two were talking about."

"That was almost four years ago. You keep bringing it up like it was the end of the world or something."

"Well, you certainly acted like it was. You went a bit _leechy nut _on us. Seriously." Toph added thoughtfully, sipping her drink. "It actually helped with fighting Azula that someone was acting crazier than her." Katara did not answer.

"Was that when Zuko dumped you?" Suki asked suddenly. The silence was deafening.

"How did you know?" Toph asked in total shock. Until then, she had assumed that she was the only one that did.

"It was kind of hard to miss they way these two were looking at each other, and bumping accidentally in the dark corners and stuff like that. That is, unless you are a guy. Which now that I think about it, everyone in that temple was except us." Katara still didn't answer. Toph imagined a face of complete panic.

"Why didn't you say anything then?" Katara finally said. Suki must have shrugged by the sound of her upper clothes.

"You obviously didn't want to talk about it. I actually tried to talk to you, but you were reacting so _fiercely _about everything. We were about to face the fight of our lives and you just seemed angry and I did not know what happened. You went from this, I don't know how to described it, _elation? _to this very furious take on things, so I just assumed that he had ended it and you did not want to talk about it."

"He dumped you?" Toph intervened. "I thought that you dumped him!".

She imagined that Katara had her face in her hands because her voice came back mumbled.

"By the Moon, you two knew about this?"

"Well, I have feet, remember? Very good feet."

"And I have eyes. And common sense. Unless, you count Sokka, of course, but I have an excuse for that" Toph raised an eyebrow. Suki lowered her voice. "The war" she confided, "not many guys my age in my village."

"We dumped each other" Katara's voice finally came through very clear. "It was because of Aang. We did not know about the extent of his feelings and when we found out, it just made it impossible for us to continue. Zuko would never hurt Aang on purpose, and neither would I. And the fate of the world was at stake, and Zuko said it was a matter of honor." Toph and Suki both made little tst-tst noises.

"What?" Katara asked.

"Bad, bad," said Toph, who knew Sparky well. "I don't know how to break it to you ... but he used the word 'honor', so he is going to hang unto that honor like a bad smell and you won't be getting any from Mr. Hotpants"

"Aaaggh!!" She heard Katara opening the fire whiskey and probably bending some on her cup. "I need a drink."

"What was that about a river?" Suki asked. Katara gulped down the whiskey and bended more in everyone's cups. It was not boiling hot anymore, but at least was lukewarm. Toph could feel Katara's defenses crumbling down. The thought occurred to Toph that it must be such a relief, for someone as transparent and loving as Katara, to finally open up after four years of silences and secrets.

"I traveled with Zuko and waterbenders from the Foggy swamp to help him with a crisis in the Fire Nation. A tsunami hit one of the fire islands and we went to help."

"I remember," Suki said "that was almost a year ago, wasn't it?"

"Yes."

"Where were we?" Toph asked.

"You were in Gaoling. That was just after we came back from finding the Earth King and restored him to his throne. Remember? You decided to take a vacation and visit your parents. And you and Sokka had traveled to Kyoshi Island to visit your family weeks before. We were in Ba Sing Se when a message came from Iroh about the tsunami. You know how the Earth King is, Aang couldn't in good conscience leave the guy, and the city, alone. And Zuko was really concerned trying to organize all these logistics long distance, and then I proposed to go to the Foggy Swamp in Appa, which was closer than the North Pole anyway, and recruit waterbenders and healers. So we did just that. We traveled with him to take care of the crisis."

"And then, what happened?" Suki asked.

"We sort of rekindled our relationship." Katara said in a very low voice. "I don't know how it happened. It was after the worse of the crisis had passed. We have managed to evacuate the survivors to a new island, get provisions and heal the injured. We were tired but relieved. And then ... you know how those Foggy Swamp people are. They really don't have prejudices. They don't judge anything. So the atmosphere was very relaxed. And hot, it was a very hot week. And one night there was a full moon and I wanted to swim in a river, but Zuko said that it may be dangerous because of some animals in the water, I don't know, so ... I asked Zuko to come with me."

Suki poured more whiskey. Toph was starting to feel the effects.

"And I was in the water, under the full moon, and he was standing at the edge of the river, reclining on a tree, just looking at me. And I have never felt so beautiful or so alive. So I bended a mist of water above us, like a drizzle rain, and I extended my hand and asked him to come into the water. And he removed his shirt," Suki let go a '_by Kyoshi!'_ very softly, "and walked into the water..." Katara paused. They fact that the other two women kept silent spoke volumes of how mesmerized they were by the story. "And he walked in circles around me under the drizzle, until he was standing behind me and put his cheek against my hair and his arm around my waist. I kept bending water over us that was cold and fine, and then he grabbed my chin and turned my head towards him and kissed me. And I let all the water drop at the same time, but neither of us noticed." Katara felt silent and there was something in the voice that told them that she did not want to share more than that. That did not stop the other two, however, whom by now were slightly too drunk to be considerate.

"So, you kissed him back?" Suki asked.

"Uh, uh … more than that I am afraid" Toph interjected.

"You weren't there!" Suki accused.

"Don't need to be. Just pay attention to what is in front of you: this is what we call Water Tribe goo."

"Wow. I don't know if should say this aloud, but Sokka is getting lucky tonight."

"Well, I am not kissing the pebble, you can be sure of that."

"Katara, are you crying?" Suki got closer to her friend. Toph did the same. Katara started crying freely probably for the first time in a long time.

"Don't cry" Suki said "here, have another drink. It will help you with the rain memory."

"Hey" Toph said grabbing her hand "If you want to call the entire thing off, we will back you up whatever you choose to do."

Katara drank the whiskey. Suki and Toph did the same, out of solidarity of course.

"I am not calling anything off." Katara said after. "I can't do this to Aang."

Toph felt like shaking her.

"Go ahead." She said moving to the side. "Do it to yourself then."

"No." Katara was firm. "I love Aang. It is love. Zuko is something else. Is not love. You know, grow-old-together love. It is craziness."

"What do you know about grow-old-together love?" Toph asked suspiciously.

"I know that passion fades, and all you are left with is friendship." Katara insisted firmly.

"I thought you told Zuko today that you were friends." Katara stopped for a second.

"It's different." She insisted

"But what happened the second time?" Suki asked, she sounded desolate. "After the rain, and the moon, and everything!"

"I don't know." Katara sounded a bit lost. "I really don't know. We spent these crazy, magical weeks, acting like we were not us. We took the Foggy Swamp benders back to the swamp and stayed some days with them. He said that it was to let Appa rest, and I said yes, of course. But it was because neither of us wanted to go back to the real world. We were so free in the swamp. "

"Were you running around dressed in banana leaves and making out against that scary tree Aang told me about?" Toph asked.

"How did you know?" Katara was surprised.

"I knew it! Pops says that for a year now Sparky have been acting weird every time he offers him a banana. You naughty girl, what did you do to Sparky with those bananas?"

"I did nothing to him that he did not do to me." She answered primly. Suki grabbed the bottle.

"Uh-uh" she said. "Running out of whiskey"

Toph heard Katara opening a new bottle and bending all the cups full again.

"So, the swamp, nekkid, bananas, and then?" Suki said encouragingly.

"Then, I don't know. We had to go back to Ba Sing Se. I don't even know for sure how long we were in the swamp. We were _consumed _by it. Between the heat, the humidity and the passion, I don't think we were able to breathe properly all the time we were there. And we kept having these long, very intimate conversations that would start in the morning and just never end. Not even when we were asleep. It was like we were telling each other things even when we were silent. And the kisses. By Yue, the kisses. And him. Just him. I would turn into water just by looking at him. And when he touched me, it was like having our skins removed by the swamp, until we could see every bit of inner flesh and bone. No secrets, no boundaries between us. At the same time, we kept having all these weird dreams and premonitions. I saw him in an Agni Kai in the middle of a green and gold room. And he saw me, dressed in blue, in a wedding ceremony, but did not see himself in it. It was wonderful, and scary and heartbreaking all at the same time. Like the swamp was telling us to be together right there, because we would end up apart. And the last day, when we were dressing back in our clothes, we had a joint vision. It was Aang, and he was fading and with him all the airbenders. The entire world seemed to fade under an illusion, and there was this volcano from which the smoke that took the airbenders away was coming. Zuko and I tried to hold onto Aang, but he was falling and fading and we couldn't hold him. And suddenly the death of an entire race hit us both in the face. And Zuko fell to his knees and covered his face and said something like "I understand" and I knew then that the vision was about us. It was about helping the Avatar restore his race. It was about Zuko atoning for his ancestors crime. About me and Aang. And about Zuko and I having to let go of each other."

Katara's voice slow down until it felt silent. Suki was the first one to talk.

"How do you know that was the right interpretation of the vision?" She asked. Katara sounded surprised.

"We just knew. We both felt it at the same time. It seemed to make sense. Even our relationship. It was like the swamp was giving us a gift before sending us to the world to face our destinies."

"So... " Toph asked slowly. "Your destiny is to repopulate an entire race?"

There was a shiver in the air.

"It sounds to me," Suki said "that you know more about 'growing-old-together' love that you let in. I think you are making a mistake."

Even Toph was surprised at the warrior's bluntness.

"Do you think that I don't notice Sokka looking at the moon on full nights?" Suki pressed on "He never kisses me under the moon, you know. Neither of us talks about it. Neither would ever know if his thing with Yue was a 'grow old together' kind of love because it didn't happen. But the idea of it remains, in his head. Do you think I like it? As we grow older, and fall into the routine of time and age, we will fight. It's bound to happen. And I know that he will wonder about his lost Moon. At least right now you have a choice. You love Aang, I am sure of it. But I have never seen you look at him the way you looked at Zuko in that temple. Do you really want to end up looking at the sun and wondering? What happened in that swamp won't be erased by ten kids that can bend air."

Toph assented. She was starting to feel the whiskey in her toes. That would have been good if it wasn't because they were over bamboo floor and ice.

"The sun comes out every day, and you will look at it and wonder." Toph said.

"I won't." Katara answered stubbornly.

"Whatever. Stupidity runs deeply in your family." Toph concluded.

"He does not love me. He never has." Katara insisted.

"How do you know? Did you ever ask?" Toph asked.

"He _never_ said it. Not once. Even when _I _told him. Even now. Anyway, is not good. He just touches me and I forget to ask all the questions because I'm so afraid of what I'm going to hear. I'm afraid of making a mistake that would make him like me less. I don't like feeling like this. Passion and love are not the same thing, you know?"

"You keep telling yourself that." Toph patted her leg. "We still need to have a conversation about the facts of life."

"Eerr ... Toph, I don't need to have this conversation and even if I did, shouldn't it be with someone older than me and more experienced? Someone like Suki?"

"Hey!" the warrior exclaimed "after the swamp story, _you_ should be giving _me_ the facts of life." She turned to Toph. "I just realized that the facts of my life are boring."

Toph ignored Suki.

"You need to install some attitude in your future husband, sorry, committed guy? Whatever. In case you've forgotten, I trained him. I know what you are going to be facing."

"Yep!" Suki struck an arm in the air. Toph suddenly realized that the warrior was hopelessly drunk. "If you want to repopulate the earth and the air, the avatar needs to know what to do." She leaned in confidentially. "Does he know what to do?"

Katara was silent for a minute.

"I am not sure." She answered honestly.

"This is bad." Suki concluded. She turned to Toph. "For the look of the thing, this one is going to end up with a permanent crank in her neck from looking at the sun all day. Unless we do something."

"Like what?" Katara demanded. "What can you do?" She took another gulp of whiskey. "You!" Toph felt her finger poking her arm. "What can you possibly do to help me? You don't even have experience!"

"Field experience, maybe" Toph was unfazed "but I have been hanging out with soldiers for the last four years and let me tell you, there is nothing that I don't know. At least in theory." she added after a pause. "So, taking into account that there is not much that I can actually teach you, you probably knowing all that there is to know after all, you can still do some awesome bending with Twinkle Toes".

"What do you mean?"

"Well he knows how to control fire, water, earth and air. He is also very nimble. Very jumpy. I bet that you can guide him into bending some very good recipes for you."

"Is that your solution for my heartache? How is getting Aang to do some fancy bending going to distract me from my feelings for Zuko?"

"It won't, but it will keep you entertained and away from pining at the sun all day. Woke up, Sugar Queen. No one can serve two masters at the same time. Somehow you decided to repopulate the heavens with Twinkle Toes and ended a very good thing with an awesome guy (and for the conversations I have been hearing around all day, he is getting better with time). So, don't go ahead and screw it for the other very good guy you do have."

Katara moaned.

"But they are so different!" She said

"It is the lack of meat."

"What?"

"Aang. He is very supple. It comes with being a vegetarian airbender. Anyway, it's not fair that you keep comparing them. Not fair to Aang. I hear he is cute if you like big ears. Can he move them?"

"What?"

"The ears?"

"Don't know. Never asked him."

Suki assented.

"Probably yes, because Aang is you know, very powerful and everything. That's sexy, isn't?"

"If you like big powerful ears." Toph insisted.

"How do you know about the ears? You are blind."

"Everybody talks about his ears. They must be humongous."

"Is there a relation between ears and you know what?" Suki asked

"Maybe. I know that they say feet and you know what." Toph answered. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew that this was a totally, useless, drunken conversation but she was having fun.

"That is a relief. Sokka has huge feet." Suki confided.

"Aang has tiny, tiny feet though." Toph said. "It comes with being an airbender. He is Twinkle Toes, for spirits sake. And a vegetarian."

"Would you two shut up? This is my future husband you are talking about!"

"I thought monks couldn't get married." Suki said "Isn't that the purpose of the ceremony thing?"

"So?"

"So, he cannot be your husband. He will be your _committed guy._"

"You" Toph poked Katara in the chest with a finger, changing subjects "should try the goods first."

"Yep. Don't go into this blind, you know. Oh, sorry Toph, no offense meant."

"None taken."

"We will help you guys." Suki offered, and Toph just knew that Suki had no idea how to help. Obviously, she decided to start with the basics. "Has he tried anything, you know?"

"No, he always treats me with so much respect." Katara answered, sadly.

"That's the problem!" Toph threw her hands in the air.

"That's it. Respect is overrated. I am expert at slapping Sokka, but always _afterwards_."

"Really Sweetness, don't play hard to get. If you run too hard they can't catch you."

"The idea" Suki whispered conspiratorially "is to _get_ caught. But not too fast, then they think you are easy."

"She is easy! She was trying to catch Sparky earlier!"

"I am not easy."

"You are. And a hopeless one, the guy said no."

"It is Aang's fault." Suki said intelligently. "If he were more of the I-will-catch-you type, she wouldn't be ambushing Mr. Hot Pants. Wait." Suki took another drink. "Now that I think about it, Sokka catches me every time and I still would try to ambush Mr Hotpants."

Toph agreed. "He comes with 'perks'."

"Yeah, the palace. Have you seen the palace?"

"I grew up in one, and I can't see. I was thinking more about the feet and the uncle. I like the uncle. I can take Hottie if uncle comes along."

"Me too. Are his feet big Katara?" Suki asked in jest.

This time, she answered.

"Yes."

Silence.

"Like big, big feet or just above average?"

"How I am supposed to know? I don't know about comparisons! It just feels big."

They thought this through.

"You are talking about his feet here, aren't you?"

"Yes, his feet. They are warm too." Katara added.

"Like, they throw steam at you and everything?"

"Oh, by Kyoshi! It throws fire?" Suki and Toph started giggling so hard that Katara had to cover her head with a pillow.

"_Those_ are perks! I want perks!" Suki yelled.

Katara removed the pillow. She was laughing now.

"Good thing that I am a waterbender, I had to literally put out the fire. It was scary, but good."

"Well, Aang is the avatar. He can do fire, and earth together. Maybe he will throw molten lava at you!"

"He needs some tips, to overcome the tiny feet!"

"Do you seriously think that…"

"Of course not. No, no, I mean, at least he is taller than you now."

"Not as tall as hot-sword." Suki interjected.

"But with big ears. Maybe he can move them!"

"And do what with them? Tickle her?"

"Well, something needs to be done. The poor guy doesn't know it yet but he will be fighting a swamp!"

Katara suddenly sobered up.

"What am I going to do?" She asked.

"You are acting like a coward. Zuko will never be happy with a coward. Aang, on the other hand, is the avatar. He understands human flaws, his nature is air so he detaches himself. He would never ask you or expect you to return the same intensity. Sparky is not the same. Either you love him absolutely and completely, take me for granted love, where he never has to worry that you are not there one hundred percent with him, or let him go. Don't step into that fire if you are not willing to be completely burned by it."

"Hey! Where did you learned to talk all poetic?" Suki asked.

Toph giggled.

"The guards have been reading romance scrolls to me!"

"I don't think I can do that." Katara said. "You are right. With Zuko, when we are together, I cannot breathe. With Aang is so much easier. With Zuko is like my heart is always on the brink of exploding, and his eyes ask so many things and I become this, _this_ liquid for moon's sake... "

"Aang" Suki said conspiratorially in Toph's ear "is the safe choice"

"This is such a mess. We need to do an intervention. You! No more seeking Sparky alone! Period. You are going to re-start the war, you'll see. Captain Yin read me a story like that. The woman was a hussy, like you. They ended up launching 1,000 ships after her, or something like that. We need to get Aang to catch you soon, before you blow a fuse of repressed frustration and poor Sparky is at the end of it."

"And what make you think I will get him to react? You said it yourself, I tried and failed."

"It is water tribe thing." Suki said knowingly.

"Your idiot brother has it." Toph accepted.

"Your father has it."

"Even your Gran-Gran still has it. Master Pakku is always after her, and Uncle Iroh was sweet talking her today."

"That doesn't count; he sweet talks a dead tree if he can."

"Whatever, you know. Sex appeal."

"Is the blue eyes with the tanned skin."

"And the curves, and the fact that you are a wanton woman and probably press yourself against the guy every opportunity you get."

"That helps." Suki accepted. "A lot."

"Stay away from Sparky, Sugar Queen. Temptation is too great. He is like chocolate."

"What is chocolate?" asked Suki

"This sweet thing they make in the Fire Nation. Where is the box I stole from Sparky's room? He brought several as gifts. Is the new crop, industry, whatever, they are developing as one of the trade alternatives to the war machinery. Where is the stupid box? Here, found it! Let me give you a piece."

"By Kyoshi, this is absolutely delicious! Oh my, I am dying!"

"Is she this loud when she is with Sokka?" Toph asked critically. Katara shrugged.

"How would I know? By Yue, this chocolate is extraordinary."

"Told you. Well, guys like Sparky are like chocolate. You eat one and can't stop eating them until you are fat, ugly and throwing up."

("Is this a way to tell her she can get pregnant?"

"Shut up")

"Aang" Toph continued, "he is like broccoli."

"That green thing they eat in the earth kingdom? Ewww!" Katara said.

"Well, what do you expect? He is a monk! Broccoli is good for you. It is healthy and do not make you fat. However, with the right instructions, we can turn him into chocolate."

"Yeah, yeah, let's cover Zuko in chocolate!"

"Aang, Suki, let's cover Aang."

"Ooops, you are right. Aang, chocolate. Got it. What about Zuko?

"Drop it. No Zuko. If you insist, maybe Sokka in chocolate. But only if you help."

"But I already know what Sokka tastes like!" She whined.

"You see?" Toph pointed at the drunken warrior. "This will happen to you in time, so choose wisely!"

Some time later, the three young women were huddled against each other, watching the dying embers of the stove. Well, at least two of them were.

"Toph" Katara said, slurring the words a little "you have been very hard to me. You are never hard with Sparky."

"Shut up, you are drunk."

"You prefer him to me, you always did!"

"At least, he never lies."

"I knew it! You are not my friend, you are Sparky's!"

"If that is true then, why am I here listening to you crying instead of out there consoling him?"

"You mean it? You rather be here with me?"

"I don't rather, I am doing it. _That_ should tell you plenty. Sweetness, you are my friend, who fights me and waits for my arrival to talk about stupid ceremony stuff. And I am the only person you cannot lie to. That's it. You don't like it, I don't like it either, but you are my friend until the day I die and I have to help you with this."

Katara fell asleep in her lap. Toph put a hand on her forehead.

"I am way to drunk to think properly." She said aloud.

Suki raised a hand and let it rest on Toph's arm.

"We need to make sure that Aang catches her." She said semi asleep. Toph turned her head towards the warrior. I was annoying that she always liked Suki, but now she really, truly liked her. She never realized how much fun Suki was. The other girl kept rambling, "these water tribes are all sexy but idiots. Remember to tell Katara not to run too fast..." She fell asleep. And Toph did too.


	5. The Morning After

**V. The Morning After**

Toph woke up at the sound of voices. Her head felt like someone was bending rocks against her skull. There was probably a God of Hammers, somewhere, who was now getting really busy against her forehead. She could distinguish the voices. One was upset. Or at least sounded like it. She knew the voice. In the haze of her headache, she tried to turn over and realized that there were other people with her in bed. Bed? When did she end up in bed? She didn't remember climbing into bed. She must have done it, because she could hear the soft breathing of two people on each side. The soft breathing noises told her that she was between Suki and Katara. Well, that made sense. Toph wondered if she did anything that was worth remembering. Obviously not, because she was dressed as before and covered with furs and blankets to boot. At least, it was warm and cozy in the bed. Even if surrounded by the smell of drunken women. The known voice was talking with someone at the door.

"I don't want to hear another word, Corporal." It was Sparky, in his best commanding tone. "I will deal with you later. Make sure no one enters this room, understood? Only the Avatar or Master Sokka can come in. You. Go get them. Now."

Toph heard Sparky came back into the room and go over stuff.

"Oh, no!" He muttered. "You didn't." She knew he was looking at the empty 12 year vintage bottles. She heard him doing something, and the noise and the smell told her he was brewing tea. She knew the smell. It was Uncle Iroh's special blend for hangovers. The Chaser, he called it. He developed it especially for the mornings after Music Nights. The tea was part of a complete remedy that needed to be performed by a firebender.

She rested with her eyes closed and heard him come to the bed. He sat, because the bed sank under his weight.

"Hey" he said softly and Toph realized that he was starting with Suki. "Drink this." Fan-girl groaned.

"The lights, the lights!" She said. "Turn off the light!!"

"It is called sunlight, it cannot be turned off." He said gently, and Toph heard her drinking. Suki groaned again. "I'm going to put my hands on your forehead now," he was explaining in a low, soothing voice "and heat my fingertips. It will help you with the pain." Suki must have opened her eyes because Toph could hear her gasp.

"Didn't we finish the bottles?" She asked the Universe. "Hot-prince is firebending my forehead!" Toph nudged her with her elbow.

"You are not hallucinating, Fan-girl." She intervened, before Suki put her foot in her mouth. "It really is Sparky."

"Your highness to you, Toph." He muttered. "I cannot believe you drank the royal gifts. 24-year-old single-barrel bottles of fire whiskey. You have no shame."

"24?" _Note to myself: Katara cannot read_. "The way I am feeling right now, it was not better than Iroh's moonshine whiskey." She retorted. He did not budge.

"You deserve all the pain. I am not tending you until I am done with your victims." Toph wanted to tell him that if these women were victims, she was a pink flying hippo-elephant but couldn't find the energy to bother. "Are you feeling better?" He asked Suki in the same soothing voice. She shifted a little.

"Not really." She answered. "Can you please massage my neck? It really hurts." '_By the spirits' _thought Toph '_I am surrounded by tarts!'_

"Don't scold me Sparky." She mumbled, moved more by the need to appease him and get him to take care of her than by any real remorse. "I am sorry."

"No, you are not." He answered. "Here Suki, drink a little bit more. Now, bend your head, I am going to massage the base of your neck now."

Toph heard Suki purr. She sounded really happy. In the middle of her headache, Toph wished for Sokka to appear and rain on Suki's parade, at least to force Sparky to take care of her. Sparky was still talking.

"Where have you been, after all?" He continued. "Negotiations with the Earth Kingdom have been next to impossible. The Earth King refuses to agree to anything unless you show up. He has been particularly difficult this morning."

"Is time for circus-boy to take care of himself." She retorted. "I was thinking about quitting anyway. I am bored of ordering those guys around. It's not normal. The Dai Li, the King, all of them just want me to push them around, insult them and yell. It's not normal, I'm telling you."

Sparky put Suki's head back on the pillow and stood up. Obviously, he was finished. Toph could almost hear Suki's disappointment. Suki burrowed on the bed again, next to Toph.

"I thought you liked ordering people around." He said picking another cup of tea and moving to the other side of the bed, where Katara was sleeping soundly. She heard him bend over her friend and rub her back.

"Katara." He said softly. "Katara, wake up. You need to go to the meetings." Katara mumbled something, and turned. She must have opened her eyes, in the same haze Suki did.

"Freaking Tui and La, can someone please turn off that stupid light?!" She groaned. At least, Toph thought, an advantage of being blind was that she did not have to deal with light-induced-pain.

"'Tara," he said, slipping into what must be a very personal nickname, as Toph never heard it before, "you need to wake up. Here, drink this." Katara groaned again.

"My head, my head!" She said grabbing her head, but must have half opened her eyes because she then said, "Kuku!" and jumped to the guy. Toph and Suki tried to fuse with the bed, to spare Zuko the embarrassment. "_Kuku?" _Suki whispered. "_Better than Zuzu, I guess._" Toph answered. "Kuku, I missed you!" She was saying "I've missed you so much. And my head hurts, and you haven't spoken to me since you got here and I've missed you soooo much!" Zuko tried to quiet her down.

"Katara" he asked "how much did you drink? I think you are still drunk."

"I am not drunk! I am so OK just seeing you! Oh … why is the room spinning?" Dealing with soldiers and friends prone to explore what life had to offer had made Sparky an ace at gauging people's reaction to alcohol. Katara hadn't finished talking, when Zuko got her in his arms and carried her from the bed to the other side of the room, where there must have been a bin or a bedpan or something because she heard Katara throwing up. Sparky again was doing his "_Hush, hush, is OK, Tara_" thing. After the first wave, Katara said "It is not OK, Kuku, you don't even look at m…" she couldn't finish before the next wave of nausea.

Just then, the door of the room opened and Toph heard the unmistakable sound of Sokka and Aang.

"What is going on here?" Sokka asked in disbelief. Zuko made a noise and exclaimed.

"Close the door, Sokka. We don't want the entire Pole to know." Toph heard the door closed and Aang blowing past the bed next to Zuko and Katara.

"What's wrong with her?" He asked concerned.

"She is drunk." Zuko answered matter of factly. "Here, hold her head. I need to prepare more tea to help her. You may want to bend some water to clean her up."

Katara made a noise that sounded like a protest but, thankfully, she did not start calling 'Kuku' back to her.

"Wow!" Sokka must have been taking the room in. "You guys had a real party last night. Better than what we were doing with those boring delegates. Suki, move" he got into the bed with them. More than a bed, Katara's sleeping arrangements were a cross between a burrow and a triple bed. It was a sprawling thing with blankets and furs, close to the floor that could fit a family of five, pets and vermin included. Suki grunted.

"Sokka, you are on my hair." She complained. He grabbed her and accommodate her against his body.

"It's OK, babe." He said assurely. "I'm here. So, you guys were drinking last night? Should have invited us. We could have brought some Moonshine Tundra Vodka to accompany you."

"What's that?" Toph asked.

"A vile brew that passes for social beverage among the water tribes." Suki grumbled. _Wow, talk about tension_.

"It's not a brew! It's the carefully fermented juice of sea prunes marinated in brine first." Toph had to hold a hand to her mouth.

"I think I just swallowed my own vomit." She said. She heard Sparky next to Aang.

"Get her to drink this, and then bring her over. I will teach you how to help her with the hangover. And please, bend that bin out of this room." Toph heard Sparky coming over to her.

"Time for your cure, Champ." He said. She was Champ again. Good. That meant she was forgiven. The thing with Sparky, he could never remind angry at her for too long. Sparky gave her a cup of Iroh's Chaser. She drank the entire cup without breathing. Almost immediately she felt the warm, nearly miraculous tea, ran through her body down to her toes taking away part of the pain and queasiness. He took the cup from her hand, and she raised herself in the bed. Sparky slid in the bed, behind her. He sat with his back against the wall, and she accommodated herself between his legs, comfortably, facing forward, reclined on his chest and stomach. His body was warm, as usual. He placed his firebending fingers at her temples and started massaging, with just the right amount of pressure and heat. She could feel the headache like a veil being raised from her temples and shoulders.

"Hey," Sokka asked with interest "how many times have you guys done this? It looks like a routine."

"Your friend here went through a phase of gambling fire whiskey shots with my men." Sparky said. "I had to forbid the soldiers under penalty of maim and death to gamble with her."

"It didn't work." Toph said grinning. "They fear me more than him."

"I had to send her to the Earth Kingdom to stop her from turning my army into a center of debauchery." His fingers moved to the back of her neck. She hung her head forward.

"Those Dai Li have not idea how to enjoy themselves." She said seriously. "They are horrible. I miss Yin, and Chin, and all those despicable firebenders I used to hang out with."

"Well," Sokka said, moving on the bed. Suki complained again. "They may be horrible, but they adore you. Hearing the Earth King, his kingdom is lost without you. Hey Suki, sit down. Let's see if I can do what Sparky here is doing. Toph seems mellow. I may mellow you too."

"You are not a firebender." She grumbled.

"Well" he said fussing around, "I'm a luv bender. That should be enough."

Suki sounded deeply embarrassed. "You just didn't say _that._"

Aang called from the other side of the room.

"Hey, sifu Hotman!" He said. "I don't think Katara has anything left to throw up anymore."

"Give her the tea," Zuko answered, "and bring her over."

"Clean her first!" Sokka and Toph yelled at the same time. "And please take that bin out of the room!"

Aang came over with Katara. She didn't sound good. Aang got into the bed, next to Zuko and Toph, and accommodated Katara the same way Suki and Toph were. Zuko stopped massaging Toph's scalp and tried to place Aang's fingers in the right position on Katara's head.

"Look at me." He said gravely. "Look how I am doing it with Toph and heat your fingers just slightly. Not too much. Go ahead. Like that."

"Ouch!" Katara said "You're burning me!" Aang jumped back. Zuko steadied him firmly.

"Don't be nervous. You don't have to be. You are not going to hurt her, but help her. Now, again, softly." Toph thought idly that Zuko was doing exactly what he needed to do with Aang. There may be hope yet for the soon-to-be-committed couple. Except that her friend was not cooperating. Katara kept squirming and complaining.

"Aang, too much pressure. Not there, it hurts!" Aang almost infinite patience was also wearing thin.

"Well" he retorted "your hair is in the way. Why do you have so much hair? Can you tie it or something?"

Toph felt pity building up inside her. She was annoyed with the ice and her friends, but she still loved these people. As the owner of unrequited knowledge, she felt forced to help.

"OK!" She said raising her hands. "Time to change! Aang, I am going to teach you how to cure a hangover, firebending style."

However, he was not in a good mood, which was per se extraordinary.

"I don't need to learn. I don't drink"

"But your friends do." She answered. She could have said '_But Katara does'_, however instinct told her that it was not the right moment to highlight that fact. Toph raised herself from Sparky's warm body and made a gesture. "Katara, move. Sparky will cure your hangover. Aang, give me some space."

Katara eagerly changed places with her. _The woman is hopeless_, Toph thought. However, she was not in the mind-frame to judge.

"OK Twinkle Toes, let's see what you got" Toph accommodated herself against Aang's body, facing forward, like with Sparky. Aang was different than Sparky, though. In that sense, Katara was right. His shoulders were not as broad, however he was also slim and hard. All his body was about muscle and grace. He was not as warm as Sparky, but that could be fixed. He was also a firebender, after all. "Raise your body temperature, Twinkle Toes." She ordered.

"What do you mean?" He asked, slightly alarmed.

"I mean, warm yourself like a firebender, so you can make me warm." Somewhere in the same bed, Katara accommodated herself against Sparky without a single complain. He did not say anything, but Toph could feel his careful movements against her friend's head, massaging her head but deliberately avoiding any other contact. As much as you can avoid contact with the woman practically laying on top you, of course.

"That's right, Twinkle Toes." Toph continued. "Warm like that. Now, please put your fingers here and here. On my temples, not my ears. Yes, like that. Take a note Sokka, I think Suki was complaining. Ok, now, warm the fingers. Good, good, Stop! too much. A little bit less. OK, that's right. Yes. Like that. Oh, yes, this is the stuff!" She accommodated herself against Aang, and was surprised to discover that her body shaped itself against his as well as it had against Sparky's. For a couple of minutes the six of them stayed there, in the bed, only little comments coming out of their mouths.

"Move your fingers in circles, Twinkle Toes, yes, yes."

"Sokka, you are going to make my head explode. Not so hard."

"mmmmm" Katara's soft purring must have made Sparky really nervous, because he spoke carefully eliminating all emotion from his voice.

"So, Champ, what is this about quitting?" He asked. "The Earth King is going to blow a fuse."

"You are quitting the Dai Li?" Aang asked with surprise.

"Don't stop, Twinkle toes, you are doing great. Go down to my neck now. That's the stuff. Yes, I'm quitting. I'm up to my ears with circus-kid, that bear and the bunch of sour, evil, power hungry minions that I have been trying to earthbend into shape since I made the mistake of paying attention to you and Sparky."

Sokka let go a soft whistle.

"He's not going to like it." He said.

"Who?" Suki asked, seemingly more content now and less aggressive toward her boyfriend.

"The Earth King. You guys have been involved in your girly wedding preparation world, but the three of us have had to put up with really weird stuff during the last day. This morning, the Earth King practically sat in the middle of the negotiation table and refused to talk to anybody except Bosco unless you showed up."

Twinkle Toes fingers were becoming more firm, less timid and flighty. He seemed to be emboldened by his own success. She liked it. The fingers moved from massaging her neck down to her shoulders, where he starting working a knot just between her shoulders.

"We couldn't find you anywhere." Aang said. "Your room looked as if you have hardly been there. Actually, the Boulder and the Hippo were almost crying because they couldn't find you. They are terrified that you or your father are going to kill them or something. Zuko was the one to suggest that we looked in Katara's room, as none of you guys showed up for dinner last night or for the meeting this morning."

"Actually," Sokka said "Dad was upset that you were missing Sis. Seems like half the North Pole delegates wanted to see you." Katara grumbled something and buried herself even further into Zuko's body. Zuko shifted his position, and Toph felt his uneasiness.

"So what did you do with circus-guy's temper tantrum?" She asked. Aang was the one to answer.

"We promised him that we will find you, of course, and called for a recess."

"So you guys are in negotiation recess right now?"

"It was about time." Sokka intervened. "The entire meeting was getting really weird and out of hand."

"Yep." Aang sighed. "The Earth King refuses to let Bumi name a successor with no royal blood, citing some old Earth Kingdom law. And you can imagine how Bumi took those news."

"Doesn't Bumi have any kids or grand kids?" Suki asked.

"Not really." Aang answered carefully. "Family is not his thing."

"I thought Bumi was like the Earth King. You know, with the thousand concubines and stuff." Suki mentioned.

"Wow!" Sokka sounded wistful. "A thousand concubines!"

"One thousand is as good a zero when you don't have any use for them." Toph interjected.

"What do you mean?" For the first time in the conversation, Katara intervened. Toph shrugged her shoulders.

"The Earth King, Kuei. He has no use for his concubines. He never visits them. I think there may be a couple of children from before he joined the circus, but since I've been in his pathetic court he hadn't visited them, ever."

"How do you know that he doesn't go there at night, when no one is looking?" Sokka insisted.

"I'm the head of the Dai Li, moron. I know everything that there is to know in that city."

"Imagine that," Sokka sighed "one thousand beautiful women and he ignores them all."

"They are not beautiful." Toph remarked.

"How you know?" Sokka asked. "You cannot see."

"Because I can feel beautiful. And whatever those women are, they are not beautiful. No wonder Kuei prefers to hang out with Bosco. And just for the sake of accuracy, they are not one thousand either. More like two hundred and seventy two."

"So," Suki changed the subject "What about Bumi's heir?"

"You mean Haru?" Aang asked. Toph rolled over her stomach and rested her head in Twinkle Toes chest, to allow Aang to massage her back. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, but then started moving his fingers across her back. She sighed happily.

"Warmer." She ordered. Next to her, Katara was doing something similar, she could hear her soft breathing and how she seemed to melt over Sparky. Toph was actually surprised that neither Sokka, nor Aang would pick up any of the undertones of the current situation.

The idle thought struck her that in a twisted way this felt right. Six friends all on top of each other, on a bed, talking. It was bound to happen that because three were girls and three were boys, things would get messy. And complicated. It came with the territory. It was also to be expected that if Sokka and Suki were together, and the resident hot mama (and local tramp) was juggling the other two, she was bound to finish with whomever was left after Katara finished making up her mind. Her second conscience (that was what she usually called the conscience of her conscience: the second voice that second guessed everything her conscience told her. It was more like a hag in her head, frankly. A nagging, sour, hag. Maybe having several layers of conscience was a blind thing. The rest of her friends seemed to be surviving happily without even one.) Again, her second conscience whispered in her head: _So, you what? You keep Katara's rejects? _She did what she usually did to her second conscience: she dismissed it.

"Well, you know how Haru is. So calm. He was there next to Bumi when Kuei refused to honor the appointment of Haru as heir." Aang continued answering.

"Just because he is not royal?" Toph asked in disbelief. "I thought we fought a war to change the way people looked at the world."

"It may be that," Katara said from somewhere buried in Zuko's shirt, "or it may be that Kuei opposes Haru's alternative choices."

"What alternative choices?" Sokka asked. He suddenly noticed Katara. "Hey sis, you should move a little. I think Zuko cannot breathe. You are drowning the guy with your hair."

"Well," Katara raised her head, but refused to move. "The fact that he doesn't have a traditional approach to relationships."

"What are you talking about?" Sokka asked, exasperated. "Haru is the most traditional guy I know."

"She means that he likes boys, not girls." Toph said running out of patience.

"WHAT?" Sokka was in shock. "What do you mean? Haru? Our friend? Our 'we-are-all-sleeping-together-at-the-Temple' friend?"

"Come on Sokka, stop it." Suki cut him. "You're moving too much. Keep with the massage, please, and stop yelling. We all knew at the temple that Haru liked boys, it was evident."

"Evident to whom? Not to me! Did you know that the he liked boys, Sparky?" Sparky sounded mildly alarmed.

"I had no idea. Did you know, Aang?"

"Well, not then, I did not. But Bumi may have mentioned something."

"We didn't know. How did you guys know? How evident was it?"

"Weeell" it was Suki the one who decided to break the news to them. "He was always checking Zuko out."

"WHAT?" This time Sparky jumped on the bed, and almost made Katara fall. "What do you mean, checking me out?"

Katara sat on the bed, pouting.

"Zuko" she ordered. "I still have a headache. I am hung over and you are not being a good friend. Stop fidgeting. Look how Aang is massaging Toph's pains away." She resolutely accommodated herself, again, on top of the shocked firebender. "Besides it was your fault. You kept taking your clothes off, all the time, in front of the poor guy."

"You mean, I was leading him on?" He sounded panicky now. Katara shushed him.

"Well, you were always very nice to him, bringing him tea and stuff."

"I was nice to everyone there! I brought tea to everyone!"

"Yeah, but not everyone looked like you without your shirt off." She said. Silence felt on the bed and Aang's fingers stopped making circles on Toph's back. _Uh, uh._

"What do you mean?" Sokka intervened, sounding annoyed. "Do you mean that I don't look good with my shirt off? Wait a minute, are you saying that Haru never checked _me _out?"

"Well" it was Suki again "It's more a matter of the type of exercise. You see, the bending movements are very interesting."

"I have a sword. I can be interesting." He sounded offended now. "So, Haru was only checking benders out?"

"Not Twinkletoes." Toph said with certainty. "He didn't check Twinkletoes out. It would have been fairly _disturbing _if he would have been checking Twinkletoes at the time. I mean, the guy was twelve, for earth's sake. Keep massaging, T.T., you really are good."

"And all this time I thought he had a crush on Katara." Zuko was mumbling.

"Don't get sad, sifu Hotman." Aang intervened. "I thought so too at the beginning, but then I realized that his attention was somewhere else. It was more than checking you out, though. Seems like for a while he was really infatuated. Bumi says that it was actually really sad, a serious case of a broken heart. If it's any consolation, he is over you now."

"And how do _you_ know?" Sokka asked suspiciously.

"Because he and Teo have been together for a while." Sokka and Zuko seemed to be on the verge of running around, screaming, at the never ending array of shocking news.

"Teo?" Zuko said "Our little Teo? and Haru? Is there anything else that I don't know? Like, one of you is not really a woman, or something?"

"Well" Aang scratched his head. "Bumi is also into alternative choices."

"He has an awful sense of style for being someone with an alternative lifestyle." Sokka said.

"So" Toph intervened, changing topics drastically. "How is the Duke doing, Sparky?"

"Not dating any alternative guy that I know off!" He said, still in shock. "He's Uncle's little page. They have grown quite attached. He did not come in this trip because of school. Uncle is very serious about his schooling."

Katara raised her head and Toph could hear her hands reaching for his face, probably (_hopefully!_).

"I'm so proud of you. You took the Duke under your care and gave him a home."

Sokka was still fuming, though.

"So what else was going on at that temple that we don't know about? Zuko, these women have kept us in the dark."

"What difference does it make?" Toph intervened. "He's still our friend."

"You are not hiding anything, are you Toph?" Sokka prodded.

Zuko intervened.

"The way the Earth King have been acting, I think he has a crush on Master Bei Fong here."

Aang laughed.

"Who doesn't? I mean, all those Dai Li are crazy about her. She treats them so bad, it pains my heart to see how much they like it."

"They are all sick and crazy in that city." Toph grumbled. "I'm not going back. I know the Dai Li are a threat if not controlled, but you two better start looking for some other earthbender to scare them into obedience. I am not going back. Not that I need the job anyways. And what the hell do you mean about circus-moron liking me?"

"I mean, I think the King really likes you." Sparky insisted. "He doesn't act normal around you."

"He's never normal." Toph said. Katara intervened.

"Actually, it sort of makes sense." She said. "Think about it, he was orphaned when he was like what? Four? So all he knew while growing up was that creepy Long Feng. He likes to be manhandled, commanded, and ordered about. It makes sense if he is in love with you."

"Stop it." She commanded, uncomfortable. "Let's change topics. Sparky, why didn't you tell me that you were back with Needle-Queen, _again_? This is like what? Your third round?"

Silence followed for several seconds.

"It just didn't come up before." He said tiredly.

Sokka intervened.

"Iroh is pestering Sparky here to settle down." He said. Toph tilted her head to one side.

"Why?" She asked suspiciously.

"Because I will be 21 next summer." Zuko answered. It took Toph one moment to remember.

"By the Spirits!" She said. "I forgot. And Pops wants you to settle down with the Queen of the Death?"

"That's not her name."

"OK, _Sunbeam _then."

"What are you guys talking about?" Suki asked.

"Zuko will be 21 next summer" Aang said. "He will be of age. Fire Lord Iroh only agreed to be Fire Lord until Zuko reached the age of majority."

"That's definitively not common knowledge. So … why do you need to settle down? Do you need to married to be Fire Lord?"

"Not really." Zuko shifted uncomfortably. Katara suddenly sat down, removing herself from his body.

"Iroh worries that all his friends are settling down, except him." She said. "By friends he means Aang and Sokka." She explained to Suki. Suki sat down herself.

"Sokka is not settling down." She said with certainty.

"No?" Toph asked. "I thought you guys were practically engag…"

"We are not." Suki said resolutely. "So, unless he is settling down with someone else …" Sokka tried to say something, but Suki suddenly stretched her arms above her head and continued, with forced cheerfulness. "Really, Sparky, that tea of yours was fantastic. And the firebending of my brains, priceless. I appreciate it. I feel much better now." She gave him a very light kiss on the cheek. "So, what is this about you dating to make your uncle happy?"

"I'm not dating to make uncle happy!" He said defensively.

"No?" Toph sat down herself and crossed her arms. Aang made a little sound, almost like a protest.

Sparky scratched his head. It was the same gesture Twinkle Toes did when he was embarrassed.

"Is not like that. Anyway, did it ever occur to any of you that I may be in love with Mai?"

Silence followed and then, almost at the same time, a choir of shaking heads and voices could be heard:

"Naahh", "No way" and "Good try!"

"Well" Zuko said, determined. "I need to move on."

Before anyone could ask _from what?_ Sokka intervened

"What I need to do is eat. We are not wanted anywhere right now, it's cold outside, I am hungry and we are having a good conversation here. I say we take advantage that we hang out with the Crown Prince and the Avatar and order some food."

The girls all covered their mouths trying not to gag. Sokka ignored them and went to the door to give some orders. Toph raised her voice.

"Sokka if you order sea prunes I swear on your momma's grave that it will be the last time you eat anything!"

Katara shifted next to Toph.

"I can't keep my head straight." She muttered. "I need to lay down." This time, however, instead of lying down on top of Zuko, she laid down across the bed, putting her head in Toph's lap. Suki did the same. Toph shrugged her shoulders. There were more undercurrents in that room and in that bed than bacterial life at the bottom of the Foggy Swamp, she thought, patting blindly the heads of her friends.

"So," Toph asked, partly to fill the void. "You guys don't have anything to do, really?" She could feel Aang and Zuko's movements. Like they were looking at each other or something. "What?" She asked bluntly. "What is it?"

"Weeell..." Aang said slowly, "we rather stay here for now."

"Why? What is going on out there that you guys want to stay here with some hung over women?"

"They are worried their fans will catch them." Sokka answered, with a very small dose of resentment in his voice, coming back to the bed and sitting next to Zuko, reclining against the wall.

"Fans? What fans? What are you talking about?"

"You know Toph, you have missed a lot this last year that you have been absconded in Ba Sing Se." Sokka said. "These two, they have become, I don't know, _popular _or something. Every time we go anywhere there are these girls that pop out like magic mushrooms, screaming, foaming, sweating and throwing things at them."

"Things? what things? Rocks?"

Zuko grunted, Aang mumbled something very low, and Sokka chuckled, still resentful.

"You wish. No, more _intimate_ things. Like pieces of clothing and stuff."

"Whatever for?" Toph asked in amazement. "What do they expect you to do with clothes?"

Katara moved.

"What you mean _intimate_?" She asked as well.

Sokka shrugged.

"You know, underwear."

"WHAT?" Katara sat down. Toph imagined that she was crossing her arms. Sokka always said that that was Katara's way of dealing with the world. "Women throw underwear at you?" She asked, then she added, like an afterthought. "I mean, to both of you?" Toph slapped her forehead, imagining to whom was the original question directed at.

"All the time." Sokka answered. Then, he mumbled almost wistfully. "Women don't throw anything at me."

"Why?" Do you want them to?" Suki asked from Toph's lap.

"No, of course not!" He said, but his answer had no heart. Suki suddenly sat up.

"You know?" She said. "I feel much better now. I think is time to go to my room, get cleaned and prepare to meet the rest of my delegation for the afternoon meetings. The girls must be wondering were I am." She got up of the bed, and mumbled something about the light in her eyes under her breath. "Girls," she added "Are you going to the bath house? Please knock on my door when you are on your way there. Then, we can all go together to the meeting hall."

"Suki!" Sokka started, trying to catch her, but she was fast.

"Not now, Sokka." She said and left the room.

Something stayed in the air, hanging.

"What was that?" Toph asked. She knew from Sparky's and Aang's breathing that they knew but were not telling.

"Sokka" Sparky said with a groan, "You know those occasions when I tell you to improvise?"

"Yes?"

"This is one of them! Go, run after the girl, now!"

Sokka, however, stayed.

"I don't know what she wants." He said dejected. "I seriously don't."

"I told you last night." Aang said "Maybe she wants you to propose."

"She doesn't want me to propose." Sokka affirmed. "She told me herself."

"Girls don't always tell the truth." Zuko said in a very low voice. "Because they are mostly crazy." He added as an afterthought.

Katara stood up.

"I think Toph and I are feeling much better now." She said to the three young men. "You guys are probably wanted by Bumi or Iroh or someone. Let us get dressed and we will meet you over there."

The three guys in the bed seemed truly disappointed.

"But" Aang started, "there are all these people out there that …"

"Want to throw their underwear at you? I get it. You should have no problem catching it." Katara said. None of the guys moved, though. Katara suddenly threw her arms in the air. "You know what?" She said. "I'm going to check on Suki. You guys stay here if you want." She stood up, went to the door and stopped. "Sokka" She called "Come with me." Sokka was surprised.

"Why?" He asked. "The food is coming and Suki definitively does not want to talk to me."

"Sokka!" Katara insisted, and her voice was pure ice. "_Now._ We need to talk."

Sokka grunted, but got up of the bed and followed his sister. Toph heard a soft "thud!" when they left the room.

"So," Toph said, laying on the bed facing the two guys that she could not see, but feel. "That was awkward. What's going on with Sokka?"

Silence followed. She kicked Aang, always the weakest link in the tug-of-war of their personalities.

"We are not allowed to say." Aang answered.

"Rule number one of the Manly Code." Zuko added. "Never tell on your fellow man". Toph snorted.

"The Manly Code? Is that Sokka's code for 'How to screw it up with your girlfriend?' I do sincerely hope that you two are _not _following Sokka's advice regarding women." Both shifted uncomfortable in the bed. She slapped her forehead. "Oh, by the Spirits, a year away from you and this is what I found? No wonder Katara and Suki are such a mess! I'm not even going to inquire after Sunshine back in the Fire Nation, she is probably throwing senbon at innocent children right now." She could feel their movements, and by the shifting of their bodies, it seemed like Zuko and Aang were both lowering their heads.

"You know Sifu T." Aang said sincerely. "We missed you."

"It's true." Zuko added, relieved. "We are so happy you are back."

Toph sighed. This was to be harder than she thought.

"Well" She said resolutely, "Now that we are here and alone, there is something that Zuko and I want to talk you about, Aang."

The fact that she called them both by their names and not their nicknames meant business.

"About what?" Aang asked, while at the same time Zuko mumbled for probably the fifth time that morning "Oh no, you don't!"

"Oh yes." She said. "We need to talk to you about the facts of life."


	6. The Facts of Life, Again

**VI. The Facts of Life, Again**

Toph could feel Zuko's uneasiness. Aang, being Aang, was oblivious to the fact that the firebender was sweating. Which meant a lot, taking into account that this was the South Pole.

"What you mean the facts of life?" He asked innocently. Zuko intervened.

"She means nothing." He said. "She has no idea what she is talking about."

"By the Spirit's Sparky, that is a lie!" She interrupted. "I know _all _about the facts of life."

"Getting Chin to read romance scrolls to you about buxom heroines being ravished by sailors _does not count_ as experience." He retorted.

She stopped, and to her chagrin, felt her cheeks burning.

"You know about that?"

"_Please_ …"

She made another mental note: _Cut Chin's tongue. Scratch that. Kill Chin. _

"Well." She insisted, trying to recover some composure. "I may not have practical experience but I know things. I know that TwinkleToes here will be getting committed to Sugar Queen very soon, and there are certain things that he needs to know how to do."

"You mean, like the speech at the ceremony? I thought that was Zuko's job." Aang said.

Toph turned her head towards Sparky and made a gesture that she hope meant: _Did I need say more?_ Zuko refused to take the bait because he said nothing.

"For Earth's sake!" She said suddenly exasperated. "Say something! Start explaining!" He did not budge.

"I'm not having this conversation with you in the room." He said adamantly.

"Why not?" She asked defiantly.

"Because is not proper. Besides, I still don't know how you guys came up with the idea that I am the right person to do this, but I am not doing it in front of the girl I taught how to write."

"We think you are the right person because you seem like the type, you know? Like a _natural. _And intense." She added, remembering Katara's swamp story. "Besides, is not like you taught me the entire alphabet. Just the kanji of my name. That _barely_ counts as writing."

"I've no idea what are you talking about, and even if I do, I'm not having this conversation with you on it. You are always accusing us of being clueless, what makes you think that I will be able to explain anything to Aang?"

"Explain me what?" Aang asked, who was missing the entire gist of the conversation.

"About babies and wedding nights." She said ill-humored.

Aang seem neither surprised nor alarmed.

"Oh!" He said. "_That. _Don't worry, I know all about the facts of life."

"You do?" She asked surprised.

"Oh yes, the monks were very open about the facts of life."

"But … " Zuko said, now himself sounding surprised. "I thought they separated nuns and monks. You know? The Northern and Southern temples for the men, and the Western and Eastern temples for the females?"

"Yes, that's true. But once a year we all came together for the festival."

"What festival?" Toph asked.

"The Hrish festival." Their silence told him that they had no clue what he was talking about. "You know, to make airbender babies?"

They let this sink in.

"Oh, by Agni!" Zuko exclaimed after a moment, scandalized. "The monks had _fertility_ festivals?"

"More like 'release the tension' festivals." Aang said.

"Sweet…"

"Toph, shut up You shouldn't even be here."

"So" Toph asked, curious "Did you ever participate?"

"No. Official ritual age was sixteen."

"Thanks the Spirits." Zuko mumbled.

"At 12 we were only allowed to watch." Aang continued happily. Zuko groaned.

"Wow!" Toph said. "Talk about progressive religions." Aang seemed to be deep in thought, though.

"It's part of the philosophy of communing with nature." He continued. "You need to be whole with the universe and control certain impulses. The purpose of the festival was to let go of such control and commune with our bodies. And of course, breeding." He added.

Silence followed. Zuko, being a guy, picked up the _unsaid_ faster than Toph this time.

"You mean." He said cautiously. "You are only allowed to do this once a year?"

Aang shifted, his voice sounded thoughtful.

"Technically, yes. Well, the festivals lasted an entire week, so it was more that just _once_ for everyone. More than that, and there would have been too many airbenders". Toph felt Zuko leaning forward.

"Aang" he said slowly, "you have never mentioned any of this. What do you mean by too many airbenders?"

Aang shrugged.

"All Air Nomads are born airbenders. It is a fact of our race. Also, we have alarming fertility rates. The odds of conceiving are always _very _high for Air Nomads. So the best way to control the population was to control encounters of a certain type. Too many people upset the balance with nature. Look at some of the problems in the Earth Kingdom because of overpopulation. We, the Air Nomads, have a different concept of family than the other nations. For us, our family was our community. That is the reason the females and the males were separated and communed only once a year."

Zuko and Toph thought this through.

"So," Toph asked "Did everyone get to participate every year?"

"Of course not." Aang said. "Nuns that conceived and gave birth did not participate for several years, to let them recuperate."

Toph felt obligated to ask.

"How may years are _several_?"

He shrugged.

"Not sure. Two, maybe five? I grew up in one of the male temples, I don't know much about the rules of the females."

Toph did the math.

"Aang" She called him by his name to get his full attention. "Does Katara know any of this?"

"I've never told her about it." He said, and she heard Zuko slapping his forehead. "You know," Aang added, "if I am really to resurrect the old ways of the Air Nomads I should start organizing a festival. Do you think people will be interested in having one?"

"Please, tell me you are joking." Zuko muttered in shock.

"What I want to know," Toph wondered in utter disbelief, "Is how come you are getting committed to my friend and _forgot_ to tell her that she may be participating in fertility festivals with you _once_ every five years and getting pregnant every time?"

Aang was perfectly calm.

"I didn't forget. The topic never came up."

"About the babies, or about the frequency?" She drilled further.

"Oh, the babies, yes. We talk about it all the time. We want several."

Toph turned her head towards Zuko, with an expression that she hope read like _Are you doing it or should I?. _This time Zuko took the hint.

"Aang" He started softly, "Other nations do things differently."

"I know." Aang said "You guys get married and stuff. Monogamy is practiced by the Fire Nation and the Water Tribes. The Earth Kingdom nobility may practice polygamy."

"You are quoting from your lessons, aren't you?" Toph asked suspiciously. She did not heard him, so she added "Are you nodding?"

"Yes, I am."

"Oh, by Agni!" Even Zuko's patience was starting to run short. "Aang, this is not a diversity lesson. Katara is going to expect more than 'once every five years' from you!"

"But then she will be having babies every year!" He argued terrified.

"There are things that women take to avoid that." Toph said "And anyway, once you knock her up she cannot get pregnant on top of the ongoing pregnancy." She heard Zuko damming Agni below breath and she realized that the comment may have been a tad insensitive, specially to him. "I mean, you don't have to follow the monks rules. Not anymore."

"I am the Last Airbender." He said resolutely. "If I don't keep the traditions alive, they die with me. I need to start recording everything I know about my people to pass it to my children."

"Yeah," Toph said "About that. How are you planning to repopulate an entire race, especially if you are only planning to do your _ritual _every five years?"

Aang seemed uncomfortable, finally.

"Well ... " He said slowly. "There is a reason why the ways of the Air Nomads were somewhat kept secret and a mystery to the other nations." She could hear Zuko mumbling under his breath. "We didn't really practiced monogamy. There was a purpose to the festivals."

"Are you saying what I think I am hearing?" Ahe asked, and her second conscience, the witchy hag, laughed inside her head. He did not answered. "TwinkleToes!" She shot a finger at him "You are planning to continue with the festivals on your own, aren't you?"

"Well, not on my own, no … " He started and Zuko cut him off.

"Aang, is time you and I had a talk not about the facts of life but about the facts of society!"

"What do you mean?" He asked surprised. "This is like the lessons you are giving us?" Zuko tried to sush-him but it was too late. Toph picked up immediately.

"What lessons? What are you teaching Sparky?" When Sparky did not answered, she pushed Aang. "Who is 'us'?"

Aang was saying below breath _What? I forgot, I am sorry! _to Zuko. She pushed him again, harder.

"Manners!" He said exasperated. "Zuko is teaching me and Sokka princely, society manners."

Toph started laughing.

"You mean, like chewing with your mouth closed and not using Momo as a napkin in public?"

"Something like that." He mumbled. "Zuko says that I as the Avatar and Sokka as future chieftain, that we need to look the part."

"Behave the part!" Zuko said "behave the part!"

Toph kept laughing.

"This is priceless!" She said. "Sparky cleaning TT's and Snoozles act and TT planning orgies on his own _without _telling his intended!" She lay down on the bed cracking up. "And I thought things were bad in the Earth Kingdom." She grabbed her belly. "Hey! I can ask Kuei to let you borrow his two hundred and seventy two concubines for your festivals!" She was trying to talk clearly, but couldn't. "If anything, they will be grateful!" She heard Zuko, making a noise. He was actually chuckling. If Aang was sulking, it just couldn't last long.

"You think he would let me borrow them?" He asked and somehow that send Toph over the bed. She fell.

"Why not?" She yelled from the floor. "Go ask him!!"

Zuko tried to rescue the conversation.

"Aang, you need to explain all of this to Katara." He said, in his best Sifu voice. "She is going to be your wife, she needs to know."

"Yeah!" Toph's voice came from the floor. "Go and tell Fussybritches about the yearly festivals, the 200 hundred concubines and why she is only invited _every five years_!!"

That last statement sobered up the mood. Aang voice sounded a little more than concerned, now.

"She is going to kill me, isn't she?" He said, and sounded like a little boy again.

Zuko sighed deeply.

"She scolds everybody." He explained. "She is Katara, for Agni's sake. She used to scold me in _her sleep_ back at the temple! I was always in fear for my life!"

Toph raised herself and leaned her arm and chin on the bed.

"Frankly, TT" She said, wiping her tears away. "Reproducing and filling the world with little airbenders like you is a great thing, don't get me wrong. But there is no way you can do what you are planning to do and not get Sweetness to maim you in the meantime. Sparky, please, tell him."

"If I were you, I will brave _that_ now instead of waiting for the ceremony." Zuko mumbled "Let alone five years." The last phrase sent a chill through the air.

"I don't think Katara will understand that easily. Ihaveanobligation." The last sentence was mumbled fast, all pushed together.

"We all have obligations." Zuko sighed. "We are all born with them. That does not make them absolute. You get to decide if the obligations placed on you because of birth are right … or worth it."

Toph turned her head towards the door.

"Hey!" She said. "When did Pops get in the room?"

Zuko ignored her.

"So" He continued "Are you talking to Katara about this?" TT must have been nodding or something because Sparky seemed more relaxed when he said: "That is the right thing to do, my friend."

Toph sighed in disappointment.

"And here I was sooo looking forward to hanging out with Sweetness while you were out there _communing._" Zuko reached over the bed and slapped her in the arm.

"So, even if I manage to convince her about the week, the two hundred concubines are out of the question, I guess" Aang said aloud, and maybe because of the ice and how hard was reading vibrations in the Pole, she did not know if he was talking seriously or in jest. "I guess I will be very tired after two hundred in a single week."

"More like dead." Zuko said but something in the way Aang had said it sent her a signal.

"Eh…" a thought suddenly struck Toph. "Twinkle-toes, let's say that if, by any chance, you know, you get hold of Kuei's two hundred, what exactly would you do with them?"

She felt Aang turning to her.

"What do you mean?"

"No. What do_ you _mean by 'the monks let me watch'? What exactly did you watch?" Zuko said something about being indelicate and asking for details, but she sush-him "TT is a literal person," she turned and explained, "a very literal person. Like you. Subtle is no the way to go here."

"Well ..." She heard him scratch his head. "You know. The festival. There would be music, and dancing, and some of the monks will recite poetry and the nuns will bake these amazing pies, and the bards will tell us stories of the deeds of famous heroes from all nations, and stories of the Spirits, and then we will be sent to bed."

Toph and Zuko kept waiting for more, but that was it.

"That's it?" They asked almost at the same time.

"Pretty much, yes."

"What about, you know, the fertility part of the festival?" Zuko asked.

"Well, that was for the monks and nuns that were neither too young or too old. They went to a different part of the temple and as I understand for what monk Gyatso told me, there was a lot of foot massage and more poetry reading going on."

"Was he winking when he told you that?" Toph asked.

"How do you kn…"

"So you really have _no idea _what happened on the other side of the temple, do you?"

"Well, I have an idea." He answered, a little annoyed. "I mean, I have been hanging out with you guys for almost five years now. I know things happen. I can _feel_, you know?"

For the first time, she felt a little embarrassed about the way she had been treating him so far. (She _refused_ to feel embarrassed about the way she have been talking about him so far, though, but that was not her fault. That was the hag-in-the-back-of-her-head's fault). Zuko intervened.

"We all feel the same way." He said softly. "All the time. You are not the only one."

"The girls too?" He sounded surprised, and a little scandalized too. Zuko turned to her.

"You wanted to be part of this conversation." He said unmercifully. "You answer that."

"Well" She felt blushing against her will, and also for the first time cursed her own meddling nature. "Erh, yes. We feel pretty much the same. I guess the difference is the _focus _of our feelings."

"Meaning?" it was Zuko who pressed her, not Aang.

"Meaning that we, the girls, would probably focus more on the poetry part of the meeting than the foot massage." She answered doing her best Katara impersonation, hopefully. She knew that Zuko did not believe a word of it. She just knew it.

"So" Zuko said slowly, leaning forward, "all those romance scrolls that my men keep getting for you are just for the sake of poetry, aren't they?"

Being a soldier she had basically two choices, retreat or attack. She chose the latter.

"There is a lot of poetry in the world," she said, "there is no accounting for taste. And so just you know, the heroines usually get ravished by the dark, mysterious Captain, not by the sailors."

"So, it is a matter of rank, now?"

"It always is." She turned to Aang. "Here is an idea, TwinkleToes. I am going to lend you my personal library, delicately chosen by Sparky's best, Captain Yin. Read a couple of those, and neither Sparky here, nor me, would have to go through _this _again. You can always ask questions after you are done with your reading."

"Oh, by Agni!" Zuko exclaimed. "You are worse than a firenation horde. No survivors left on your wake. So what now? You are going to fill his head with trashy romance scrolls? There is _no way _for any real life man to meet the expectations set up by such … readings! They are unrealistic!"

Toph almost let it slip that hearing her friend tell it, he had met all possible expectations, but even the hag in the back accepted that it would be in poor taste, so she opted for the offense tactic, again.

"Sparky!" She accused. "You have been reading my scrolls!!" It was his time to shrug.

"I wanted to see what all the hoopla was about. Frankly, neither you nor Chin, Yin, Lee and all the rest have any shame or taste. You are worse than uncle. He probably recommended _all _of those if I know what I am talking about."

"Can I read those, er, scrolls?" Aang asked, sounding really interested.

"Of course, T.T." She said in defiance to Sparky. "I admit the cultural value may not be the best, but those scrolls are written for women _by_ women. So" she turned to Sparky "they could give any guy interested in learning a very good roadmap of, er, what women like and want." She crossed her arms resolutely. "They may not be very elevated, but they are definitively uplifting."

Zuko slapped his forehead.

"Aang" He said resignedly, as there was obviously no way to stop the rhino from crashing against the tree. "Whatever you do when you read those, do not, please, _do not _start acting like the men on those stories."

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"You will see what I am talking about."

Someone knocked on the door at that moment. Zuko got up from the bed to open the door, and she could hear him talking to someone. Sokka's food had arrived. Zuko turned to her and Aang.

"I'm going to get Sokka." He said. "Maybe we all could eat here after all. Aang, we have not finished this conversation, but this is something that we do not want to discuss in front of the rest. Please, let's keep this private, for now."

Zuko left the room and Toph was left alone with Twinkle-toes.

"So, Sifu T." Twinkle toes edged closer to her "What do girls like?" He asked, and his voice was very low.


	7. First Interlude, Research

_A/N: Well, Mike and Brian torpedoed, sunk and burned my favorite ships on the season's finale. They probably poured salt and brine over the remains, to ensure that nothing, ever, grows back. But of course, I thrive in the face of adversity so I have decided to continue this story__, following canon until (probably) the Boiling Rock and then going AU. AU of sorts, because I am still keeping some stuff from the finale. Heartfelt thanks to AngelLite who volunteered to be my beta reader and who is keeping my grammar from doing naughty things. _**********  
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**VII. First Interlude – Research**

Toph was taken aback by Aang's question. She had no idea what girls liked. Truth be told, all those romance scrolls that she just defended kept describing wimpy heroines prone to use any part of their anatomy except their brains, with an annoying propensity to faint as soon as the hero got close. The only reason she, the soldiers, and Uncle Iroh kept coming back was for the foot massage descriptions. She personally could not phantom real girls losing it completely as the scrolls would have you believe. On the other hand, she personally was not sure if she herself knew what she liked. But years training with an Airbender had taught her all about deflecting movements, which was probably the best policy in this situation.

"You mean, girls in general or what Katara likes?" He remained silent for a moment.

"Do you know what Katara likes?" He asked, real uncertainty in his voice. Before answering _bananas_, Toph shrugged her shoulders.

"Fussybritches likes cooking, telling other people what to do and being right." She said. He sighed, frustrated.

"I know. I meant, like-like."

"Like, in a guy?"

"Yes"

"Well, I guess _you_. Aren't you guys getting committed?"

"Yes. It is just that sometimes … she seems so far away. Almost like she's somewhere else."

"Well, she is always concerned about you. I mean, worrying about you, making sure you eat and go to bed on time. I guess she likes you."

"She does that for everyone. For her dad, for Sokka, even for Suki."

Toph thought about reassuring him with the formulaic "_Of course she likes you, she wouldn__'__t be doing this if she didn__'__t_" but her nature was not a prevaricating one.

"She loves you." She said, remembering the conversation from the night before.

Aang sighed.

"But does that mean she likes me?" He asked and suddenly Toph understood that he was not as clueless as she thought.

"Is there a difference?" She asked, knowing the answer. Toph realized suddenly that she had been sitting on the cold bamboo floor all this time and got up and sat on the bed. She could feel Aang's uncertainty, across from her. She extended her hand looking for his and he grabbed it. "Twinkle Toes," she said, "you know what girls like?"

"What?"

"Attitude." She said knowingly. "You need to start treating Sugar-cakes with some attitude."

"You mean, like ordering her around?"

"Not really, no. That is _my _attitude. I may put the A in awesomeness but I am not sure that is the approach we want here. Someone like her, she needs to feel like you know what you are doing. No hesitation, that's the way to get the upper hand."

"No hesitation." He repeated. "You mean, like grabbing her and kissing her when she is not expecting it?"

Toph thought about this for a moment.

"You have done that before, haven't you?"

"Yes."

"And how did it work for you?"

"Well, she usually just stays there, quiet. Almost frozen. She usually doesn't say anything."

"So the surprise kiss is not really working, isn't?"

"No, I guess not. Should I tell her that I am going to kiss her in advance?" Toph thought about the romance scrolls.

"That can be a mood killer T.T., unless you do it right."

"Right, how?"

"Right like, getting very close and looking at her lips and then telling her," Toph made her best deep voice, trying to do the husky thing, "_Katara, I am going to kiss you like you have never been kissed before._ And then, BAM, you kiss her." Somehow, the instructions sounded better in the scrolls than in real life and the hag in the back of her head seemed to be laughing at her now: _The blind leading the blind, literally!!_

Aang tried to do it.

"You mean like this?" He tried the deep voice. "_Katara, I am going to kiss you like forever!_"

"You sound like the Pebble on a bad day. Not good. Mood killer." She scratched her head. She wanted to tell him to try the Zuko voice, but somehow that felt like a betrayal. "Let's try something else. OK, get close to me and pretend that I am Katara."

"You are different."

"I know! Try to get pass that. Yes, I am not a hot looking water tribe wench with a mother complex, we all know that."

"No, you are a very hot looking earthbender girl with a warlord complex." He said suddenly. She stopped for a moment, but decided to let it pass.

"You are missing the point here. First, let's see what we are dealing with. More like a lesson, this is research. A diagnostic exercise."

"What kind of diagnostic?"

"Like a healer's test. To see if you need any improving. Maybe we can fix this 'likening' thing. Come closer. You cannot look me in the eye because I am blind, of course, but you can do something else. First, you need to create the mood. Jumping on a woman like a kissing ninja is not the best approach. Seduction is an art." Her mouth was running away from her, and she didn't seem able to stop it. To her horror, all those scrolls that had accumulated in her head started to bear fruit right there in the impromptu lesson that she was giving Aang. "So, grab my hand and tell me again."

Aang came closer and sat next to her. She extended her hand for him to grab, but he did something different. He cupped her cheek.

"Ok, that is good Twinkle Toes. That has potential. Sparky is right, you are a talented guy. Now, tell me again."

He leaned forward and in a very low voice, like a whisper, he said:

"I am going to kiss you." She was expecting the next line but it did not come. What came was a kiss. Actually, a real one. Soft warm lips, on top of hers. And they were parting hers, softly, with so much tenderness that she thought she would cry. She froze and then, straddling the line between shocked and curious, she opened her lips and kissed him back. After all, it was her first kiss and the fact that it was with a friend, a loved friend, made it so much better. The kiss deepened, and as it became more … _intense? _Yep, that was the word; he put a hand on her waist. When his second hand went from her cheek to the nape of her neck and caressed her, a very strong feeling that she could not place exploded on her chest and her first reaction was her usual one when she got nervous. Really nervous. She punched him. On the top of the head.

"Ouch!" Aang exclaimed, breaking the kiss. He then sounded alarmed. "Are you okay, Toph? You are blushing! Are you breathing? Toph?"

She stood up covering her cheeks with her hands, and at that moment the door opened and Sokka entered the room.

"Food!" He said happily. "I am telling you, after the conversation that I just had with Katara I need to eat something. Between her and Suki I am going crazy. Wow, spidersquid dumplings. I love these!" He stopped for a moment to look at the other two. "What happened to you, Toph? You are purple in the face!"

Toph stepped back and practically ran to the door.

"Where is Katara?" She asked, with the same hyperventilating feeling she would get back then, when receiving letters from her parents.

"Outside, talking to Zuko," Sokka said munching.

Aang tried to stop her.

"Toph! Wait!"

Toph turned to where his voice was.

"Twinkle Toes, you passed the test!" She answered hurriedly. "With flying colors!" And left the room. She could hear Sokka's voice trailing behind her. "_What was in that fire whiskey? All these women are going bonkers!__"_

Toph ran through the corridor tracing her fingers against the walls, trying to place something or someone. She heard Katara's voice. It was coming from inside a room to her right. She stopped at the door trying to adopt a calm demeanor before entering. She caught part of the conversation.

"… not that I am apologizing or anything because of the way I behaved this morning. I was still drunk and acting completely out of character. But I understand that I may have made you uncomfortable. Hopefully we can both get pass it, and as you said there is right and there is wrong and …"

"Tara." He stopped her.

"Don't call me that. You have no right to call me that, not now."

"You don't understand. I am strong. Even if I break in pieces, if you are happy, I can see you marrying someone else. But I cannot, I will not, allow anyone to neglect you." _Uh, uh, he is going to spill the soy beans!_

"What are you talking about?"

"I cannot be whole if you are unhappy." He was saying, with depth and feeling. Toph nodded to herself. '_I knew it' _she thought _'this guy is a natural.'_ She debated for a second between her own internal turmoil and giving them some privacy, but the decision was made for her.

"Toph!" Aang had followed her. She jumped and turned to him, and panicking because of the other two in the room and because of herself, she yelled.

"TWINKLETOES!" and then, "What's up?"

"Why did you run?" He asked and the door of the room was flung open. Even on ice she could feel Zuko and Katara's heartbeats, and even Aang's. _'This is a mess' _the hag said and she assented.

"Sugar Queen!" She said shrilly. "I was looking for you. We need to go to the bath house. Now. I don't know where it is. I'm smelly. Need to wash. Now. Ah! … and we have to attend afternoon negotiations."

Katara was at loss.

"But Toph, you said that …"

"Kuei needs me. I need you. Let's go. Now." she grabbed her arm. She heard Zuko turn to Aang.

"Come on Aang, let's go eat."

Aang did not move for a moment. Then he said, slowly.

"You need to tell me about the flying colors, Sifu T. All of them."

"What's that?" Katara asked.

"Something Toph is teaching me." He turned to Zuko. "Let's go. Sokka is eating and you are not going to like it. He is destroying all your hard work from the last couple of days."

She heard them walk away. Katara turned to her.

"What was that about?" Toph steadied herself. She sighed.

"You don't want to know. Really, you don't. Let's go get Suki. I want a bath" She started walking. Katara breathed deeply.

"You are going on the wrong direction." She said finally, catching Toph's arm. "It's this way."


	8. Keeping the Peace at the Peace Summit

_A/N: Thank you for the charming reviews. As a neophyte, I understand now why people put so much emphasis in them. _

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**VIII – Keeping the Peace at the Peace Summit**

They knocked on Suki's door. Someone opened the door, a different Kyoshi warrior for the smell of her.

"Hey, fan-girl," Toph asked, going generic. "Where is fan-girl number one?" The girl that opened the door seemed lost.

"You mean Suki?" She asked doubtfully. Before Toph could answer, Katara intervened.

"Yes, we mean Suki. She wanted to go with us to the bath house." The girl turned her head, toward the room.

"SUKI!!" She yelled. "It's for you!" Suki appeared at the door.

"Great to see you." She said eagerly. "Let's go"

"We need clothes." Katara said.

"Yeah, Katara's are in her room and we don't want to interrupt the guys right now. They are eating." Toph offered this as an explanation, but deep down she knew that it was more accurate to say that Suki did not want to see Sokka, she did not want to hear Aang, and that the entire Katara-Zuko situation was just too darn uncomfortable, so it was better for everyone's sanity to keep their distance. Suki assented.

"I have clothes. I have Earth Kingdom and Fire nation colors."

"I am in the South Pole, Suki. I need to wear Water Tribe furs." Katara said. There was some head scratching, until Suki volunteered to send her fellow warrior and roommate to get Katara's clothes.

"The ceremonial robe with the white fur trimming, and the symbol of the waning moon in the middle of the chest." She was explaining carefully to Suki's friend, while Toph sat on Suki's bed trying to asses by the feel of her fingers what clothes she liked best.

"There are no guys eating in your room, are they Toph?" Suki asked. "We can go get your clothes."

Toph shifted uncomfortably.

"The Hippo and the Pebble may be there, crying for my disappearance." She said lamely. "I don't want to indulge them by showing up." Katara, who had finished filling the other girl's head with instructions up to the type of beads she would need for her loopies, sat next to Toph.

"Do you need some help with clothes, Toph?" She asked. Toph shook her head.

"Of course not. I brought my uniforms, I chose them myself. I am good to go." She said with confidence. Katara put an arm around her shoulders.

"You're blind, Toph." She reminded her sweetly. "You probably matched the colors incorrectly and your uniforms may not be appropriate for the summit. Why don't you let me and Suki help you with these?" Toph sighed in relief. She did not want to accept it aloud, and she hated the idea of asking for help, but during the last thirty minutes wearing something nice had become suddenly very important. The Spirits knew why.

"Fine." She did her best to sound grumpy. "But just because you and Fan-girl want to do it. Not that I need help or anything."

"Of course not. Come, let's get you in one of these." Suki and Katara made her try various selections from Suki's wardrobe. She laid down some rules first, though: no Kyoshi warrior apparel, only Earth Kingdom colors and absolutely no frills. The clothes seemed to fit her funny. Too tight in the chest and hips, and kinda lose at the waist, so Suki and Katara had to tie a sash firmly around her middle. Toph blew some of the hair that permanently covered her face.

"What is wrong with these clothes?" She mumbled. "They don't fit."

"Actually," Suki said, and there was some wonder in her voice, "they may fit too well."

"What are you talking about? I can hardly breathe on these."

She felt Suki turning, as if she was looking at Katara.

"She has no idea, does she?" She asked, not even attempting to whisper.

"Don't think so." The waterbender answered.

Toph scratched herself under her armpit.

"Idea of what?"

"Stop doing that!" Katara scolded. And then, more gently, she added: "Well, you have _blossomed_ during the last year." Toph _felt _the euphemism in her voice.

"What do you mean?"

"You have _developed._" Suki said. She was still at loss.

"For the Spirits!" She exclaimed frustrated. "Can either of you two make any sense? I'm blind, I don't even know what 'blossoming' means. Is this like a code word for the spring season or something? Remember, I don't do subtle."

"Your body has, well, _increased_. It is full of curves." Suki said, helpfully.

Toph understood right there that they were trying to tell her about her boobs. She had had some trouble during the last couple of years trying to get bindings tight enough to solve some of the problems she encountered while running around, like the jiggling. She hated the jiggling. But never occurred to her that the curves would have any other implication besides making her uniforms uncomfortable.

"You are talking about my breasts, aren't you?" She demanded. "What is wrong with them?" She insisted, grabbing them like two balls.

"There is nothing wrong with them." Katara said patiently. "By the contrary…"

"Be specific!"

"They are slightly bigger than average, just enough to make people turn their heads. And you are so slim, with that long neck, well, people are bound to stare."

"Stare .. is that a good thing?" Her frustration was abruptly replaced with confusion.

"A very good thing." Toph seemed unconvinced.

"What kind of people?" She insisted.

"You know, people. Guys actually."

Toph frowned.

"You two are supposed to be some kind of babes or something, at least everyone says that you are. What do you mean people stare? At me or at you?"

"At you." Katara said.

She was still skeptical.

"But how do I know what you mean by average? Like compared to what? To yours?"

Katara sighed in exasperation, stood up and came over her.

"Here." She said, grabbing Toph's hand and putting it on top of her own breast. "Have a feel so you can tell the difference."

Toph measured Katara while at the same measuring herself. Comprehension dawned on her face, and her frown changed places with the sunniest smile Katara has seen in a long time.

"Sweeetttt!!" She said. Katara groaned.

"Suki, your turn!" She ordered, but just before Suki came over, the door opened. Toph heard her two friends gasp and a panicky voice at the door saying _'Sorry!' _before the door slammed shut again.

"Who was that?" She asked, but before either of the two answered, she heard Aang's and Zuko's voices at the door, debating something in hush tones.

"Katara!" Aang called suddenly. "We are leaving your dress at the door. Hope it's the one you wanted. Bye!"

Silence pervaded the room where the three girls stood, frozen.

"Did they see..?" Toph started.

"Oh yeah!" Suki said, and Toph could hear her covering her mouth. Katara was probably doing the same. It took her a moment to realize that the other two were giggling. Or starting to.

"Someone will be having nightmares tonight" Suki said in a singsong.

"I should be embarrassed." Katara said with wonder. "But I actually think this is kinda funny." Toph heard her crossing her arms. "Serves them right for not knocking." Her self righteous attitude coming back, thankfully. "Come on Toph, let's have a bath and get dressed".

0o0o0o0o0o

The Bath House was hot. Thank goodness. The Mechanist had been at work at the South Pole, as a personal favor to one of his favorite fellow prisoners, Chief Hakoda. Toph could feel the wood and, mercifully, some hot stones that were used to create the sauna effect. She kept making the stones bounce by moving her feet. She was in heaven. The bath house was so far the only thing she liked about the South Pole. Since traveling there not only had she lost her sight, she had also lost the integral part of herself that earth was. From the healthy layer of soil that she liked carrying around, to the incredible pleasure of throwing rocks for fun. Usually at the Dai Li, when they were distracted. To keep them on their toes. Ah, yes, and to remind them who was boss.

"I miss my healthy cover of earth" Toph said, while sweating. After the sauna, they were supposed to plunge in cold water. She was looking forward to it.

Katara seemed distracted. For once, she did not complain about Toph's penchant for dirt. Toph nudged her with her foot.

"What's up Sweetness? Why are you in la-la land?"

"Do you know what's going on with Zuko?" Katara asked point blank. "He was being really confusing before."

"Confused is pretty much his status quo. Nothing new there."

"He was being cryptic." Katara insisted. "You usually know everything about everyone. Are you sure you don't know?"

Toph shrugged her shoulders.

"That was back then, in the real world, where there are rocks and earth. Over here, in this winter wasteland I know nothing, I hear nothing and of course, I see nothing. That last one was from before." She added helpfully.

Suki intervened, before the conversation became an argument.

"What are you guys talking about?"

"Zuko," Katara said, "seemed really set on talking to me alone. He was being intense."

"Uy!" Suki said, and then, "wait, what happened to the moratorium on one-on-one's with Zuko? It lasted like what? Fifteen minutes?"

"It was him this time. He seems to be very concerned about something. Well, he's always concerned about things, but I think this time it was about Aang."

"He's always concerned about Aang. He treats him like his little brother. No, wait, almost like … his son." For the first time in several years a very weird realization dawned on Toph. "Actually, it's almost like _you. _Sparky treats Aang like you do. You guys act like his parents, not his friends!" She exclaimed the same way Sokka will scream when succeeding with an invention.

"What gibberish are you babbling now?" Katara said surly.

"It's not gibberish. All this self-sacrifice thing that you and Sparky have going on, from not wanting to hurt Aang's feelings, like ever, and always trying to protect him from the ugliness of life, and even the idea of atoning for him losing his people, sounds like parenting to me." She stopped for a second. "Unless of course we are talking about my parents or Sparky's dad."

"We do not treat Aang like our son! Suki, do we treat Aang like our son?"

"Well," Suki said pensively, "you two were gushing the other day about how good he was getting at his protocol lessons and doing his political peace-keeping assignments. You did sound _parental_."

Katara gasped. Toph heard her moving a hand towards her face. Probably to cover her mouth. Yep, realization sat in. And then, as expected, Katara brushed that off.

"Wanting to help him restore his race does not mean we are his parents. It was a vision, a shared vision mind you, regarding his future. I mean, our future."

"Did it ever occur to you that the vision was not about you being the vessel of his babies but about both of you helping him find suitable, I don't know, concubines? Like, lots of them? Enough to repopulate at least one of the temples?"

"So," Suki interjected, "let me get this right: you want them to stop acting like Aang's parents and become his pimps?"

"You know? it was way easier when you were just Sokka's quiet girlfriend. Arm candy is not supposed to talk." Toph grunted.

"For the Moon, what are you saying? Concubines? Aang will _never _accept such a preposterous idea."

"So says the future wife of the Last Airbender." Toph mumbled. She reclined against the wall, her hands behind her head. She suddenly felt tired. Very tired. "So." She asked abruptly. "Are you going to try the goods finally or do we need to keep watching out for you and Zuko in dark corners and stuff?"

"I …" Katara said, hesitantly "… I will be trying the goods."

"Please don't hold back you enthusiasm for us. We can handle it." Toph said.

She heard Katara moving her head, probably shaking it. Then she said aloud, almost to herself.

"I am with Aang. Zuko is with Mai. Nothing else is possible." Suki leaned toward them.

"Actually, you are mistaken. It's quite possible. In the Earth Kingdom we call this the 'monkey's philosophy'." She explained. "Is very simple: never, _ever_, let go of a branch unless you are grabbing another."

Toph assented knowingly.

"And it seems to me that you are already holding pretty tight to the next one."

Katara exhaled.

"Would you guys let it rest? Zuko is with Mai" a pause, and then, "Again."

"A whose fault is that?" Suki said. "I remember after the comet when we went to liberate the other Kyoshi warriors you told Sokka that it was our obligation to liberate her." Toph perked her ears.

"Wait, let me get this straight. You were the one who liberated Zuko's girlfriend from prison? I mean, this is the same girlfriend that he didn't remember to liberate himself?"

"She saved my dad's life. I owed her."

"Woman, you are an expert at sinking your own ship!"

"He seemed happy enough."

"Yep. That's why he kept rubbing his chest every time he looked at you." Suki said. "And going away on those trips that last _months._"

"Now I remember, that was when you suddenly, after an entire year of mothering Aang, decided that he was not your son anymore." Toph straightened her back. "I think you were terrified of the Zuko possibility. And of course, a couple of years later, bam! bananas."

"At least we were both single before the bananas incident." Katara volunteered, sadly. "Neither was dating anyone then."

"Yeah, but you hook up with Aang again _right_ after the bananas." Toph said. Katara put her head in her hands.

"That _was_ the idea. In theory, we were saying goodbye _forever_ after the bananas. I was supposed to be with Aang and he was supposed to, I don't know, date someone else. Aang was the one who came up with the Commitment Ceremony idea. He was so happy when we got back together, that he said he was eager to settle down and start repopulating the airbenders. And I just couldn't breathe. And then you were back, going all cranky with dealing with the Dai Li and Zuko was leaving, saying that he was needed in the Fire Nation, so I told Aang that I was coming to the South Pole to help my dad. And I've been here for the last ten months. Aang has been coming back and forth. And sometimes we are happy, like before. I honestly thought that with time, everything would be OK. That I would be OK."

Toph felt sad. As sad as Katara sounded. She decided to let the entire conversation go. There was just so much a person could dig within another's soul without losing oneself in the process. Besides the fact that empathy had never been her forte, she understood that this was a decision that only Katara could make for herself. She put her hand on top of Katara's and turned her head toward Suki.

"Let's drop this. For now. So Suki, what's the story with Sokka?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Because that entire thing back in Katara's room was just _itchy._"

Suki shrugged.

"Sokka is wondering and it drives me nuts."

"What do you mean 'wondering'?'

"He is having second thoughts. About everything. But mostly, about the implications of commitment. He wonders about the world he is quitting. Which is as much as to say that he is having all these doubts about all the women he will be renouncing because of me."

"And you're not angry?" asked Katara in complete shock, sitting up sharply.

"I understand where he is coming from. When I look at other guys, I can recognize that there are men that are more handsome or richer or funnier than Sokka. Definitively funnier. But fidelity is a _choice. _There's always going to be temptation. It's like going on a diet. The fact that you are on a diet does not mean you cannot appreciate the dessert table, just that you are not eating from it."

"This is way too deep for me." Toph mumbled.

"I am not saying that I want him to stray. Far from that. But I don't want him with doubts. If he needs to work things out of his system, let's do it now before anything between us is permanent. I rather he solves his doubts now that he is 19, than in twenty years from now, when we have a zillion kids and I am old, fat and incapable of facing life without him."

"Yeah" assented Katara, "Gran-Gran always says that with men the rule is simple: those who do not dirty the entrance, will mud the exit."

"What does that even mean?" Toph grumbled. "That's gotta be the most cryptic, stupid, wise saying that I ever heard."

"It means that men who do not stray at the beginning of a relationship, will stray later in the relationship.'

"An optimist your Grandma, isn't she?"

"What she means is that men need to get things out of their system before committing permanently to anything. Gran-Gran calls it 'sowing their wild lichen'. Sokka is in serious wondering mode. I talked to him today."

"Really? What did he say?" Suki sounded between hopeful and doubtful.

"He completely denied it, of course. I think it has to do, in part, with Zuko's and Aang's popularity. You need to understand that for a long time Sokka was the good looking guy in the group. Whenever we went, there was always a least one girl who liked him. Aang, well, he was not that popular back then. And Zuko says that he was rubbish at romance. But now, there are all these fan girls who scream like hen-banshees every time they show up and say really embarrassing things to them. Sokka feels left out. The fact that they are both powerful benders with political power does not help. And finally, it's like everyone knows that Sokka is _taken, _while with Zuko and Aang is not that clear. The on-and-off thing with Mai and the fact that people still do not really picture Aang and me together, helps fuel the possibility. I guess all those plays out there insinuating that he is my relative or my child out of wedlock with some rogue airbender monk, do not help."

"So, what did you tell him?" Toph asked.

"I told him to put his act together or that Suki would dump him for a very good looking guy with no commitment issues. She is the head of the Kyoshi warriors, for moonsakes, she can have whomever she wants."

"That's the point." Suki said wretchedly. "I don't want anyone else. I get angry at him and toy with the idea of making eyes to other guys and I even go as far as to ogle Zuko a bit" the last comment brought some catching of breath "Whaat? Is not like I am the only one doing it! But that is as far as it goes. Since that fateful day where I saw him dressed as a Kyoshi warrior my heart was his. He has no sense of ridicule, his jokes are so bad that I get rashes, and he still won't kiss me under the moon, but I don't think I will ever be able to feel the same for anyone else. After all these years, he still makes my heart flutter."

"Give him some space." Katara counseled. "He needs to make up his mind by himself."

"I am giving him all the space in the world, but it's not easy I'm telling you. At least you don't have to deal with Aang's commitment issues, just with yours."

Toph started coughing. She wasn't trying to be funny or anything. She just suddenly couldn't breathe and coughing help her with whatever was logged on her throat.

"Are you OK Toph?" Katara asked.

"What time is it?" She asked, while recovering her composure. "I think we need to go. They are probably already reconvening for the afternoon sessions and I don't want to miss dinner. I'm actually hungry." She stood up resolutely. "Which way to the freezing pool?"

0o0o0o0o

When the three young women showed up at the Great Hall the place was already full. The Great Hall, Toph was told, was being built by the northern Waterbenders in a style similar to the one at the North Pole, until Sokka showed up with new plans and made them do different things, like decorating columns with different symbols from all the nations and vaulting the roof like a dome. Suki said that it was beautiful, and that the entire place was almost otherworldly. The way the meetings were being set up was first a general assembly meeting where all the delegates would present their main issues to be put in the agenda and then would break in smaller groups to reach some agreements. As far as Toph understood the process, the entire thing was more a "_to see and be seen_" kind of meeting than anything else. No one really expected to solve anything at the Peace Summit but not being there meant losing more than just a conversation with a fellow delegate.

Toph felt self conscious in her robes, dress, whatever it was that she was wearing. She had no idea, really, how she looked but she knew that Katara and Suki had put a lot of effort on keeping her hair out of her face, on tightening the sash until she couldn't breathe, on arranging the ermine-sable fur that lined her collar to create a 'halo' effect, at least that what Suki called it, and on tightening these very warm, soft-feeling boots up to her knees. She actually liked the boots, and aside from the fact that the clothes were tight fitting, she felt warm. So she was feeling better that she would have felt dressed in one of her uniforms, but self conscious nonetheless.

Suki was dressed, as expected, in the winter version of her Kyoshi garb, which Toph could only imagine was really-really warm. Deep down she still couldn't figure out why island-dwelling women would choose such a cumbersome outfit for day-to-day wearing, much less for fighting and moreover still (hearing other people describe it) what the story was with the make-up. If the idea was to scare the enemy away well, granted, they probably weren't getting any dates, but as far as inspire fear or awe, the only casualties were most likely beauticians. Being raised in a rarefied upper class environment had taught Toph a lot regarding the comfort value that people placed on traditions. So if the only claim to fame that the little island in the middle of nowhere had was a badly dressed, cranky-butch Avatar that died over two hundred years ago, well who was she to question the need to remind the world of that fact.

Katara on the other hand was probably looking very Water-Tribeish because she heard several delegates commenting on her appearance, the length of her robes, and her hairdo. Toph imagined a tower of loopies, beads and braids, specially when Sokka asked

"What happened to your head? Are you breeding buzzard-wasps or something?"

Katara was really upset at the comment, and even Aang's soothing "_Beehives are all the rage now_" couldn't calm her down. Zuko remained conspicuously silent during the entire sibling incident, which could have ended in Sokka's drowning if it wasn't because Sparky intervened changing the subject.

"Hey, Champion." He said. "You look different."

"Me?" Toph immediately got in a defensive fighting stance. "Different how?"

"Well, you know, taller. Slimmer. Clean."

"Actually Toph." Aang said scratching the back of his head. "You look nice. Very nice."

She shot an accusatory finger to where their noses should be.

"Well?" She asked threateningly. Someone grabbed her finger and moved it aside.

"We are not lying." Zuko said.

"You look beautiful." Sokka said and Toph realized that it was the first time in almost five years of knowing him that he had said something like that. And she felt curiously proud of the fact. She hid her smile but knew that her cheeks were burning. All the effort placed in looking cool and collected usually went to pieces under the onslaught of her blushes. She hated her blushes. She turned her head towards her friends.

"Let's go mingle." She said. "I still need to say hello to all the people I have been avoiding since I got to this place."

She grabbed Katara's arm and let her friend guide her to greet all the people she could hear but not see.

It seemed like everyone she had ever met while running around with the Avatar was there. She said hello to Chief Hakoda, who was talking to Sparky's mom. Sparky's mom was a bit of a mystery to everyone. A sweet mannered woman who exuded calm and determination, who spoke no ill of her currently imprisoned spouse and who, as the rumor mill would have it, visited her daughter at the asylum every day.

"Azula must be missing her." Katara mumbled in Toph's ear. The earthbender assented.

"I remember when you went with Sparky on a ninja mission to look for her." Toph said in a low voice. "Just after the war ended. Zuko was out of his mind."

Katara whispered back.

"With good reason. Ozai had kept her locked away by paid mercenaries that answered only to him. How she didn't go crazy I don't know."

Toph had never asked this before. When Zuko came back with his mom he did not speak of how he had rescued her to anyone, and every time someone asked Katara she would just answer that the story was not hers to tell. As far as Toph knew no one, specially not Aang, had an idea of what transpired on that mission. She had the impression, based on how Katara's voice always grew darker, that whatever secret they were keeping regarding the operation involved actions that Aang would not approve of. She just knew it.

"Why you?" She asked suddenly. She had always wanted to know, but it wasn't until right now that she felt she could ask. Katara shrugged.

"Because he felt that I would understand and help with what he needed to do. Besides, we work very well together as a team."

Toph tapped her chin.

"That is interesting." She said more to herself than to Katara. "He trusts you to see the worst in him." Katara did not answer.

Then they ran into Haru and Teo. She knew before approaching them that it was Haru because she could hear Sokka asking with eagerness "_So, what do you think about my new defensive movements? Look what Master Piandao is teaching me, look, check it out. Do you like it?_" Haru was obviously relieved to see Toph and Katara because he almost ran towards them.

After embracing and exchanging sincere pleasantries with Haru and Teo, they ran into a group of sandbenders. Katara had to hold Toph back, who wanted to start kicking their butts right there. "Honor-less leeches!" She called them under her breath and Katara had to drag her away.

After dealing with Gran-Gran's grueling about her disappearance, she ran into the entire White Lotus contingent. They were in a rowdy corner drinking a horribly smelling brew that she suspected was the infamous Moonshine Tundra Vodka. She supposed that it was just a matter of minutes before the charming and enlightened group started making off color jokes under the influence of such concoction, but old harmless looking guys like these were deceiving. They were probably using the Tundra vodka just to clean their dentures before dinner. She did not linger not because she didn't enjoy the company (Bumi and Iroh having a conversation made the last 24 hours boring in comparison) but because she kept running into people she was supposed to know or who have heard of her and wanted to say hello anyway.

Eventually, she ran into Kuei, her boss. She knew it was him because of the smell of Bosco.

"Dammed it with the emotionally deprived guy!" She whispered to Katara. "Even Bumi and Aang left their pets in the stables. Why does he have to be any different?"

"Master Bei Fong!" He called delighted. "You are here! Finally!" He was so thrilled that he clasped her two hands in his. She did not waste a minute.

"Why do you have to impose this annoying beast on everyone, Kuei?" She asked, exasperated.

He sounded a bit hurt.

"You were nowhere to be found. What I am supposed to do without Bosco?" She exhaled.

"Act like a King. Like we practiced, remember?" She made a gesture with her hand.

"What are you trying to do?" Katara asked with curiosity.

"I am trying to summon some servants to order around. This gesture usually works in Ba Sing Se."

"This is the South Pole. Let me do it." She went to get some servants and Toph went back to Kuei. He was still grabbing her hand.

"Kuei." She asked impatient, removing her hand. "Did you do as I told you? Did you leave General How in charge?"

"Yes Master Bei Fong." He said. "He is in charge."

"And did you gave him the packet of instructions I left regarding the Dai Li?"

"Yes, I did."

"Good boy. And what about Long Feng? Please tell me that you did as I instructed and sent him as an exchange prisoner to Fire Lord Iroh in the Fire Nation. You did not leave him in an Earth Kingdom cell guarded by Dai Li's?"

"No, Master Bei Fong, I shipped him to the Fire Nation the day before sailing here."

At that moment Katara came back.

"Katara, please tell the servants to take Bosco here to the stables where Appa, Flopsie and Momo are staying. Tell them not to remove his coat, because you know, even though bears are covered in fur and are originally from cold climates, Bosco here _may_ get cold."

Kuei made a noise, almost like a whimper. Toph raised a finger commanding silence.

"Kuei." She said firmly. "We talked about this, remember. No more bear when we are doing kingly things like negotiating with other nations. We can have bear back when we are not working." He assented. She heard Katara stifling a noise. Toph couldn't tell if she was trying to contain a laugh or a sob, but she didn't really care. "Now, Keui, we are going to go back to the meetings and we are going to listen to everything the other nations have to say before we go refusing to talk to people just because someone is not here and you don't know what to do. Is that right?"

"Yes, it is. I am so happy to have you back Master Bei Fong. I have been designing all these plans for the palace that I want to talk to you about. What do you think about a new garden off the west wing?"

"What do I care about gardens off the west wing Kuei? I am blind. But before we go down the path of this conversation, what is this that I am hearing about you not backing Bumi's heir choice for Omashu?"

"Well, my advisors tell me that there is no precedent for a non royal inheriting any of the earth thrones unless they were won in battle."

"Does that really matter? You are the Earth King, you can create new precedent."

"The laws of the kingdom are ancient. If we don't respect the laws we don't respect the kingdom."

Toph puffed.

"If it's a battle you want, it can be arranged. I'll talk to Bumi and I am sure he can lost his kingdom to Haru in a battle any day. For earthsakes Kuei, you are being stubborn for the sake of being annoying. Stop meddling with Bumi's business and say yes."

"Bumi is my great-grand uncle, he understands as well as I do the obligations of the royal earth families. That is the reason he brought this up at the Assembly. To pressure me."

"Bumi usually doesn't make mistakes. He knows you. He probably brought it up at the Assembly to give you a chance to see the point of view of the other nations. The world has changed, and your kingdom needs to change too. You spent several years walking the world with Bosco, for the Spirits you even worked in a Fire Nation circus! How are you, of all people, going to tell me that those old laws make any sense? Unless … unless you have something against Haru in particular?"

He seemed uncomfortable.

"There won't be any heirs." He said ruefully. "In some years Omashu will be in the same position it is today."

Toph arched her brows surprised. So Katara was right after all. It was the alternative lifestyle that was coloring Kuei's decision.

"I cannot believe you." She said slowly. "The heir situation can be arranged, I assure you. If I promise you, if I give you my word that there will _be_ heirs, Would you consider backing up Bumi and letting this rest?"

Kuei did not hesitate.

"If this is important to you Master Bei Fong, I will do it. Now, what do you think about my rock garden idea?"

"If you are going to do gardens," she answered tiredly, "you should do public gardens for the people of the lower ring to enjoy. Maybe even a park for the kids to play."

"Well, this was supposed to be a rock garden for you to practice your bending, but I understand your idea about the park. What about I built you a rock garden anyway _and _two parks, one for the lower ring kinds and another for the middle ring kids?"

Toph pinched her nose.

"You should get rid of the entire 'upper-middle-lower ring' concept altogether, but I understand that the city has looked like this for a millennia. Anyway, don't bother with the rock garden, I won't be needing it."

He was surprised.

"Why?" He asked in shock. "Are you quitting bending?"

"No Kuei, I am not quitting bending, I am quitting Ba Sing Se. I am officially renouncing my job, as of today, effective immediately. I am not going to help you find my replacement, you have the Avatar and the Crown Fire Prince for that. Also, I won't train her/him/it/whatever you get. I am moving to a tropical island to practice my sandbending in preparation for the day I will be storming those leeches stronghold and make them pay for a lifetime of iniquity."

Katara contained a gasp. Toph realized that this was the first time she had voiced her future plans out loud, but it was as good a moment as any. After all, without her current job she was just another unemployed teenager full of angst, bitterness and repressed hormonal frustrations so she better put all that energy to good use. Anyway, at least it was better than making out with her best friend's future committed guy.

Kuei grabbed her hand again.

"Master Bei Fong." He said, pain in his voice. "Are you leaving us? the Dai Li? Bosco? Me?"

"Yes."

"You cannot do that." He said resolutely. "I won't allow it. Without you the palace won't be the same."

"You will get over it. That's life. People leave. People come. Sometimes, it rains." Her two copper philosophy bought her the nanosecond needed to retrieve her hand. "Don't sound so miserable Kuei." She said seriously, with feeling. "It's not that I don't like _you. _Actually, you are the only nice thing in that palace of yours. But I cannot handle your evil-minded minions, I am allergic to your zoo, and your city is full of rules and laws. My spirit is slowly dying in there. And I need to get myself back." She turned away and grabbed Katara's arm. She could heard him voice her name.

"Toph." He called. "Please, don't go." She stopped for a moment. He never called her Toph. She thought for a second about how lonely he always seemed, his only sources of happiness the smelly bear and her acerbic comments, and compassion rose in her heart. She turned back to him, and placed a hand in his cheek.

"Goodbye Kuei. Getting to know you was the only highlight of last year." He covered her hand with his and she let it rest on his face for a moment. She could feel him closing his eyes tight, and his own hand was shaking. She removed her hand softly. "Let's go Katara." She said and walked away.

0o0o0o0o

Chief Hakoda of the Most Southern Water Tribe opened the Fourth Session of the General Assembly of the First Official Peace Summit since the End of the One Hundred Year Old War Started by the Fire Nation under the Misguided Rule of Sozin the Unwise, followed by Azulon the Ambitious, continued by Ozai the Bend-less and finished by Crown Fire Prince Zuko the Befuddled (actually, it was Zuko the Brave as per the official records but Toph kept calling him by the wrong name just to hear him abuse Agni's genealogy) together with Avatar Aang, the Last Airbender.

The first order of things was the official salute of the delegations, which included Earth Kingdom's kingdoms, the Northern Water Tribe, the Fire Nation, whatever was left of the scattered Southern Water Tribes, the Kyoshi representatives, the sandbenders, the swamp benders, which kept talking aloud about the marvel of wearing clothes, and a complete assortment of smaller groups and towns that came to make sure their interests did not get overrun by the big powers, including a couple of chummy-chummy tribes called the Gan Jins and the Zhangs.

During the Assembly, the friends were sitting with their respective groups. Toph, who had just quit her job, decided that sitting with Kuei's delegation was probably not appropriate, so after considering her options, she decided to sit with Aang. He was sitting apart, alone, as the last representative of his lost race and as the Avatar. Katara and Sokka were next to their dad, Zuko next to his mother and uncle and even Suki was surrounded by all her Kyoshi-friends, but she was an outsider here. There was no official delegation from Gaoling, her parents were far away, the Pebble and the Hippo were probably in the stables for all she knew, and she had no current alliances to speak off, except her friends. So ignoring the uncomfortable beating of her heart, she decided to sit with Aang. He seemed happy to see her when she came over.

"Thank you." He said, genuine joy in his voice. She shrugged.

"Don't mention it. I am as much the last of something as you are." She answered sitting next to him. _Yep_, said the hag, _the last kiss-bender_.

After the first order of things, Chief Hammi, from one of the skeletal remaining southern water tribes, proposed the discussion of the unification of the southern water tribes under one ruler. The idea was survival, and if the last one hundred years had taught then anything, it was that scattered small groups were easier to defeat and annihilate than cohesive factions. Hammi's proposal was to unite under Hakoda. There was some voting, some arguments pro and against, some guy from an obscure group claiming that he may be equally qualified, but the final decision was that the unification was under Hakoda and those tribes that did not like the idea would forfeit the support of the other nations.

The second item raised in the agenda was the reconstruction of the Air Temples, the budget to help the Avatar in the rebuilding process, and the gathering of enough people to help him reconstruct the history of his race. The Fire Nation volunteered most of the budget, but some discussion arose regarding the need to make this a collective effort as the genocide affected equally the balance of the entire world. After some philosophy quoting representatives, some nostalgia arguments from very ancient gurus and some discussion regarding the situation of the current squatters living in the Northern Air Temple, there was an unanimous conclusion to help the Avatar to reconstruct as much as possible of his lost world.

By now Toph was bored out of her mind. She couldn't even entertain herself with her usual 'seeing' of what people were doing that was embarrassing. That used to be her main source of delight in large crowds. To concentrate on seeing what everyone around her was doing, and to laugh if people were doing silly or improper things. Here, in this meeting, she didn't even had that. Just the ice. She removed her bracelet and started playing with it. Bending it at will, getting funky shapes from it. She did not hear when the third item for the agenda was raised. She heard a familiar voice that she paid not attention to until at the last minute she heard the word "_Gaoling_" and her ears picked up.

Someone was talking about Earth Kingdom law. She knew the voice. It was Sing, one of Kuei's courtiers and advisors. He was quoting some law from seven or eight hundred years ago asking to fully revert Gaoling to its status as a vassal state of the Earth King. Toph straightened her back. Gaoling was the main producer of marble for the region and it was one of the reasons her family was so powerful. Marble exports. Gaoling was also a city-state. A rich, flourishing, city-state that thrived on commerce, open borders and an uncanny eye for a good deal. Her family was mostly responsible for it, half governors, half tyrants and a bit Maecenas they ruled the city like they ruled their trade, with business savvy. However, she also knew that a small political entity like Gaoling lacked the resources to defend itself against incursions by larger states, and it survived only on hubris and a careful political alliance with the Earth Kings. Her father always said that cities like theirs usually gave way to larger organizations like empires or nation-states. But during the war, Gaoling's neutral soul, the product of commerce, was enough to kept it alive under the protective umbrella of the Earth King. Now, as she was hearing it, the Earth Kingdom was claiming her city back. As a vassal. Based on a eight hundred year old law. She felt the space bracelet turning into a dagger. She could actually feel her nails getting longer and curving like claws. Actually, they weren't, but she could feel them nonetheless. She shifted her position about to jump and assume a fighting stance.

Bumi was the first to talk, once Sing had put the item in the agenda.

"So." Asked the old mad warrior, standing up, his voice raised. "Kuei wants to go expanding the kingdom, now? First claiming vassal cities, what is next, colonies in the North Pole? So, is the Earth King the New Fire Lord, now?" She heard Iroh saying: "_Ah Bumi, that one hurt!_"

Kuei said, his voice even.

"Haru can be your heir if you let this one go."

"OK!" King Bumi said happily, sitting down. Toph was aghast. Before Aang could stop her, she raised her voice.

"Are you crazy?" She yelled. "Where do you go off claiming my city as part of your kingdom?"

"Toph!" Aang whispered. "You're supposed to request the floor before you talk!" She turned to him.

"And how do I do that?"

"You raise your hand and someone will hand you the scroll of speech. You can only talk when you have the scroll."

"Who has the scroll?"

"Bumi passed it to Kuei."

"Can someone pass me the scroll?" She screamed at the audience. Being blind on ice meant she really didn't know what was going on the floor, or what the protocols were. She heard some ruffling, a lot of whispering and then a known hand grabbing her arm. Katara had left her seat to come to her. She put something in her hand. A scroll.

"So." She started again, addressing directly toward where Kuei's voice had come from. "What are you doing?"

A voice that she did not know answered.

"Under Section 75668 ordinal 49(a) of the Earth Kingdom Code, henceforth E.K. 49 for short, the Earth King has the right to claim Gaoling as a vassal state because it never stop being one." Toph was speechless. The voice continued "It has come to our attention that eighty years ago it was decided by the then Earth King that a neutral city was needed for commercial purposes while the known world was at war. Gaoling was chosen because the Bei Fongs are trusted with placing business before emotions. Nevertheless, war is no more, and the conditions that triggered such decision are not longer valid, so under E.K. 49 Gaoling reverts to its original political status and all current laws and regulations of the E.K.C. apply forthwith"

She turned to Katara and Aang.

"What language is he even speaking? Who is this person?"

"I am Lu Shi, General Counsel of the Earth Kingdom" Toph froze. She had heard of him. Nothing brought woe, misery and fear like that name. Its pull was stronger than even the Dai Li's. The word in Ba Sing Se was that whomever crossed his path would face seven years of bad luck. Mothers of children that did not want to go to bed would only need to whisper "_Lu Shi is going to get you_" to make the most recalcitrant child cower under the blankets in fear.

"An attorney?" She asked in shock about the low blow. "You are _throwing _attorneys at me?"

Somehow she had managed to avoid, for an entire year, this _being. _Her hypersensitivity to rules meant that she could feel his steps a mile away, and had always, always, managed to open a tunnel on the earth and go underground before having to face him. But this was the (_spit_) south pole, no escape tunnels here.

"I am not throwing anything at you." Kuei answered calmly. "I told you, we need to respect the laws if we are to respect the kingdom."

"You are doing this because I am quitting my job?" She asked again in utter shock.

"No." His voice still serene. You had to give it to Sokka, the acoustics of the place were excellent. "I am doing it because vassal states are wholly subject to Earth Kingdom laws."

Before she could say anything, the hated, cold, unflinching voice of Lu Shi was heard again.

"Which brings us to E.K. Daughter's Act of 3066. By section 446321 ordinal 897(a) (iii) all first born daughters of vassal noblemen within the Earth Kingdom belong, at the option of the sovereign, to the Earth King." She did not like the sound of that one.

"What did you just said?" She said starting to hyperventilate again.

"The Earth King," the attorney explained very slowly, like speaking to a five year old, "just proposed marriage to you."

"You cannot do this!!" This time she stood up.

"Well," the Earth King said almost timidly, "Gaoling is a vassal state and the Bei Fong's are my vassals. I can actually do this."

"Yeah?" She said in a bad mood. "Says who?"

"My attorneys." The Earth King explained again.

"How do you _dare _bring attorneys in here?" She threw an accusatory finger towards him. "Wasn't this supposed to be a peace meeting? Attorneys are not allowed at peace meetings!"

"No one told me that." He said smugly. "You left before I could finish the preparations."

"Kuei, I swear on your ancestors, if you don't drop this right now I am going to beat sense into you as soon as we get home!" Toph screamed.

"Really? You are coming home with me?"

"Toph!" Katara said hurriedly. "Stop threatening! Don't you see? You are encouraging him!"

"Who do you think you are to do this? Fight me face to face, like a man! Attorneys! Phew!" She spitted, making everyone cringe, and she was glad. "Their only purpose in life is to make and apply rules!"

"Mistress Bei Fong, the Daughter's Act of 3066 clearly says..."

"Don't you dare talk to me! Katara, the attorney is talking to me!! If it wasn't because it actually involves marriage, I would marry you just to have the pleasure of sentencing all attorneys to death in the Earth Kingdom and making your life miserable afterwards!"

The Earth King perked up.

"Does that mean you are saying yes?"

Before Toph could cross the distance and start choking Kuei, Katara and Aang had to hold her down. The entire assembly came down in chaos as she was dragged out of the meeting, polishing fourth years worth of soldier's language at the top of her lungs.

* * *

_A/N: I encountered a very funny and charming story a couple of days ago called "Midsummer Madness" by BurningIce. I recommend it heartily. Not only because we share the same sense of humor, but I was surprised that some details of her story are remarkably closer to the musings of my mind. So there you have it, deep down my recommendation is a testament of self love!_


	9. Ius Primae Filia

**IX. Ius Primae Filia**

Toph sat in a room, surrounded by people. Everyone was talking at the same time. Her friends were there, Iroh and Hakoda were there, people that she didn't know were there. Sparky's mom was making tea or something, but dammed it if she was up for tea.

"You." She said to someone close. "You smell like you know where the frozen tundra vodka is. I need some."

"My lady." The elegant voice said. "I may be able to procure something less abrasive than Moonshine Tundra Vodka. What about a good cup of jasmine …?" Before he could finish, someone breezed past and pulled him away.

"_No, no, no Master Piandao._" She heard Sokka saying. "_If you want to survive the evening, do not offer tea to a wounded warrior._"

A hand rested on her shoulder. A very warm hand, that then grabbed her two hands, took away the scroll that she was still holding, and replaced it with a warm cup. She smelled fire wine mulled with spices.

"This is the stuff." She mumbled before gulping it down. Someone, Katara for the feeling of the hands, put something like a sea biscuit in her hand and forced it to her mouth. She chewed slowly, thinking.

She could hear them discussing the situation.

"There must be something that can be done to make Kuei understand." Chief Hakoda was saying.

"The only person that makes Kuei understand anything is Toph." Sparky said, next to her, his hand still on her shoulder. "And she is in no condition to be persuasive right now."

"Let me get close to him and I'll show you persuasion." She mumbled. Katara, next to her, put a hand on Toph's arm.

"Regicide is not a viable solution." She counseled wisely, then said: "However, something must be done. Can't we stop him from claiming Gaoling?"

"Well," she heard Fire Lord Pops coming over, "this is a matter of Earth Kingdom internal politics. Unless Gaoling requests our intervention, we cannot stop him from reverting Gaoling to its original political state, specially when he is not using force."

"But what about Toph?" Suki asked, incensed. "It's what he's trying to do even legal?"

"His attorney says it is." Katara mumbled. Sokka perked up.

"That's it! That's what we need! An attorney of our own! We need to battle fire with fire!"

"Actually Sokka, the best way to battle fire is with water… " Aang started but he was shushed.

"Where can we get the best possible attorney?" Sokka was asking. "Fire Lord Iroh, you look like a guy who knows where to get a good attorney."

"Well, two of the Fire Nation counselors are here with me." He started and Toph mumbled again.

"Wasn't this supposed to be a Peace Summit? Who brings attorneys to peace summits? That almost _ensures_ that there won't be any peace."

"I may be all for peace, my fascinating friend," Iroh said. "But I also know human nature." He paused and then continued. "The problem is that my counselors are only versant on Fire Nation law. It is different."

"No, if we claim her as a Fire Nation citizen." Sparky said. "She did serve on our army, we can grant her honorary citizenship."

"That is a good idea," Iroh answered. "But I am afraid Kuei is not playing games here. I am sure he has more up his sleeve. I will summon the counselors immediately."

"You hear that Toph?" Katara said encouragingly. "You are getting your own attorney and everything."

While someone was dispatched to call the counselors, she could hear the voices around her. Sweetness was talking to Sparky, behind her.

"_You're the only one who hasn__'__t say anything about my hair._"

"_I am guy. I don__'__t know about those things._"

"_You must have an opinion._"

"_I like your hair loose._"

"_I knew it, you don__'__t like it either!__"_

"_That is not what I said!__"_

Toph growled. Right now her fate was in the hands of these people. Aang was talking to Pops, Hakoda, Arnook, and some assorted old people, she couldn't figure out who, toward her front.

"_I am the Avatar. I am sure the Earth King will listen to me. Brokering peace is my job._"

"_Yes, Avatar Aang. But this is not about keeping peace. We are at peace. It__'__s about challenging the core of Earth Kingdom traditions.__"_

"_I am the Avatar. It__'__s my job to fight unjust traditions!__"_

"Two hundred and seventy three". Toph said to herself, sadly. A gentle voice next to her made her jump.

"What did you say, honey?" Sparky's mom. She was giving her another cup of the mulled wine. The lady did not brew tea, Toph liked her.

"That is my number. I am going to be Kuei's two hundred and seventy third concubine." She stopped and then an idea came to her head. "Maybe I can plan a revolt. Do you think 273 concubines can storm and take on a palace? Maybe a city? If the White Lotus, which mind you is nearing the millennia mark in added years, could do it, 273 frustrated women can!" She immediately started laying down the plans. "I can scare the Dai Li into helping me. I can bring down the palace with one sweep of my feet! There is so much I can do!"

"What makes you think that these women will help?" Sparky's mom asked, and then added. "What makes you think that you will need their help?" Toph turned her head toward Ursa. She continued. "If all that I know about you and your friends is true, you won't be marrying the Earth King at all."

Toph liked her _immensely_.

"Why do you think a man would do something as daft as this?" She asked the older woman, in serious need of good advice. "I mean, Kuei is crazy and weird, like all Earth Kings, but he has never been particularly stupid. Maybe moronic at times, but not hopelessly dim-witted."

"The Earth King is in love. He just doesn't know how to court you." Toph considered this. She thought about Katara and Zuko's conversation at her back. About the way these two had been behaving since she got to the South Pole.

"So love means what? 'Let's be idiots together'?" She asked, honestly wanting to know.

"Sometimes." Ursa answered, "But it always depends on the idiot."

At that moment the Fire Nation counselors showed up. One had a pompous voice, the other spoke so fast and so intelligibly that Toph got a headache almost immediately.

"The lady can be claimed as a Fire Nation citizen, but the Treaty of the Four Harmonies signed four years ago, however, clearly establishes that any act of aggression can be met with swift retaliation, and it is not clear if this can be considered aggressive … blah … henceforth … blah, blah … provided that …" Toph lost complete sense of what the argument was, if there even was one, or if there was a problem with it. She just couldn't follow legalese. She was restless, so she stood up and left the room silently. She leaned against the door.

"Great Master." A voice said next to her, making her jump. Freaking, stupid, stupid ice!! Everything and everyone kept taking her by surprise in this place. She vowed to her ancestors right there and then that she _never, ever _again would leave her land. Not even for five minutes.

"Chin." She said tiredly. "Hello."

"The guys and I have been talking, Great Master." Chin said solemnly, "We want you to know that we offer you our sword and our loyalty. If you want to declare war on the Earth King, we are happy to oblige." She smiled. That was talk that she could understand. "By the way," He continued, "Some of the insults you threw back there in the assembly were instant classics. We felt really proud. We saw some people bleeding through their ears and everything."

The door opened behind her.

"Pst, Toph, are you OK?" said Suki

"Why did you leave?"Katara asked, "They are discussing your future right now."

"I have no idea what those guys are saying." She said with a shrug. "They speak formal legal stuff. I rather talk to Chin here, at least he speaks my language."

"They are saying that if the Fire Nation claims you, the Earth King can restart the war." Chin explained. The three of them looked at him with wonder.

"How do you know that?"

"Because I did two years of law school before dropping out to become a soldier." They perked.

"And what is your opinion?" Suki asked eagerly.

"That they are right." The three girls seemed to deflate.

"Uh, uh. What was that about a hussy that launched a 1,000 ships?" Katara asked in a low voice.

"You are starting to sound like my second conscience." Grumbled Toph.

"Your second conscience? What's that?"

"The little Katara we all have inside."

"But that's because they are using the wrong argument." Chin continued. The girls perked again.

"What do you mean?"

"They keep treating this as if they were either in Earth Kingdom or Fire Nation soil. We are in the South Pole. That means that we need to apply conflicts of laws rules. An Earth Kingdom citizen and a Fire Nation citizen on Water Tribe soil means that all three laws may apply. So, we just need to look for the Water Tribe law that nullifies what the Earth King wants to do." Their jaws hung open in shock.

"Why was it that you quit law school again?" Toph asked suspiciously.

"Too boring." He said and she smiled again.

"That's my guy!" She exclaimed. Katara seemed concerned.

"We don't really have attorneys in the South Pole. We don't consider them appropriate company in polite society." She added, sheepishly.

"Another reason why I quitted." He nodded. "But you don't need laws to neutralize this, just traditions. On the Water Tribe they carry the same weight that laws do in other places."

The door opened.

"Pst, guys, what are you doing outside?" Sokka asked. "The attorneys are explaining that we may need to go to war against Kuei."

"Hey guys." It was Aang now. "We need you inside. This is serious."

And finally,"What are you all doing outside? Don't you know that we need to prepare for war now? We need to get Toph's city back and the honor of the Fire Nation is at stake."

Toph raised a hand.

"Pipe it!" She said. "We are onto something with Chin here. He is a law school drop out. I think I found my attorney."

Chin vehemently denied it.

"No Great Master, you need a Water Tribe attorney. Someone who can quote the local traditions, who can defeat the famous and renowned Lu Shi at his own game."

"Do you know Lu Shi?" She asked with wonder.

"We studied him in law school. He is a legend. They say that he may take your flesh without spilling your blood."

"Whatever that means." Sokka said. "So, why do we need a water tribe attorney again? We don't do attorneys in the South Pole."

"Yeah," said Zuko knowingly, "You guys don't even do _law _at the South Pole."

"Traditions." Katara said haughtily. "Carry the same weight here that laws do in other nations."

"Well." Aang started. "If it's an attorney you need, I can do that. I am the Avatar, that's my job."

"Your job is to stop Toph here from killing her fiancée. And also, maybe, to judge this thing, you are probably the only one who can." Said Sokka calculatingly. "You cannot also be the attorney. I think I can be your attorney Toph. I even have the hat to match Lu Shi's."

"He wears a hat?" She asked.

"More like a wig. It would be pretty ridiculous if it wasn't so pretty darn scary at the same time." Intervened Suki.

Toph thought about this for a moment.

"Well." She said crossing her arms. "I don't want a guy attorney. I want a girl."

"They don't even have attorneys here! Where are we going to find a girl one?" Groaned Zuko.

"Hey," Sokka sounded hurt, "What's with the discrimination? I thought we fought a war against things like that!"

Toph was adamant.

"I don't want a good attorney." She insisted. "I want a _mean_ one. Katara, would you be my attorney?"

"Me?" She sounded between scared and pleased, "You want me?"

"Katara cannot be your attorney." A determined sounding Aang said. "She is not mean. She is too sweet and too nice. She would be incapable of fighting Lu Shi for you."

Toph heard Katara whispering to herself, like in shock, "_Incapable?_"

"You are wrong, Aang," Zuko intervened, "Katara is capable to defeating an army of Lu Shi's if necessary. She is a furious fighter and the best to cover one's back in battle."

"This is not a battle!" Aang insisted, "This is a court proceeding."

"You're wrong again," Zuko said resolutely, "The bloodiest battles I've ever seen have all happened inside _court _proceedings."

"Well," Aang said, and Toph heard him cross his arms stubbornly, "Katara may just be too good a person for something like this. As I understand from what the other attorneys said, Lu Shi never plays fair and he is malicious. How can someone like Katara compete with that?"

Toph decided to ignore Aang. Olympically.

"Honeycombs," she said turning to Katara, "Your future committed guy here thinks you are _incapable _of helping. Do you want to curl up on your bed and cry or do you want to help me?"

Katara's voice was ice.

"You are getting the meanest attorney in the entire South Pole. And Lu Shi is getting the worse comeuppance of his lifetime." She turned to Aang. "I will never turn my back on people who need me _and_ ask for my help. _I_ don't run away in gliders."

Silence, really uncomfortable silence, pervaded the corridor. Zuko took Aang aside.

"_Katara is a warrior,__"_ Toph could hear him saying in a low voice. "_She doesn__'__t run away from fights._"

"_Why do all of you have this need to run into confrontations?_"

"_And why do you have this need to avoid conflicts? And now that we are on topic, when are you talking to her about you know what? _"

Katara spoke next to her, making her jump.

"So, I'm in. Why me?"

"Because you are the best liar I know." Toph said. "Also, you think that you are always right; refuse to listen to other people's opinions; can get on everyone's nerves but manage to always get away with it because you are pretty and people think that you are good." She paused, "And you are. Good I mean. A good person. But not all the time. Which is OK, because people that are good all the time make my skin crawl."

Katara was dumbfounded. "Gee, Toph. Thanks. I'm moved." she said. Zuko and Aang came back. Something cold hung in the air, between them.

"Well, at least Katara has the hat situation covered." Sokka said. "Few things are more intimidating than _that_ hairdo." Before he could dodge, Zuko added.

"You need to be careful, if Katara loses her temper in court she may drown opposing counsel." Before she could slap him, he dodged. "It's true! That's how you found Aang. Yelling at Sokka!"

"Well, if I am the Avatar and the judge to this, am I even supposed to be here?" Aang intervened. "Aren't there rules against the decision maker hanging out with one of the parties or something?"

"These are the Southern Water Tribe lands. Rules do not apply here." Suki said.

Katara grew tired of trying to slap two men at the same time. She just bent a water whip and slapped both of them in the back, simultaneously. She turned to Chin.

"So," she said, "If I am going to do this, what I am supposed to say or do in Court?"

"Follow your instincts My Lady." Chin counseled. "You are an intimidating Waterbender. And moreover, you know the traditions of your people. Lu Shi doesn't know those, so you have a tactical advantage. You are also in your land and your element. No one can defeat you here."

Zuko seemed pensive.

"Chin." He asked. "Remind me again why is it that you haven't been promoted?"

"Because I gamble, drink, lie and sneak shoddy scrolls to little Earthbender girls against my superior's orders."

"Ah, yes. That. Thank you for reminding me."

Katara meanwhile still seemed unconvinced.

"I am not even sure that I know the traditions of my land. Or if any of the traditions here may help nullify Lu Shi's laws."

Toph, however, was unfazed.

"If you cannot think of one, just make it up."

"What? Isn't that unethical?" Katara asked.

"I am not listening to this." Aang said, turning. He started humming. "La-la-la-la."

"Is he covering his ears?" Toph asked.

"As much as he can, yes." Sokka said. "There is a lot of ear to cover there, mind you."

"I don't know about unethical, but there must be some tradition, somewhere, that no one had ever heard of." Toph insisted.

Katara was not persuaded.

"I still think is _wrong _to do something like that."

"The problem with you Sugar-Cakes, is that you still haven't learned the difference between breaking a rule and doing something wrong." Toph said crossing her arms. "For your information, tables are meant for turning. You take too much pride in following the rules, and you still don't get it through your head that it does not necessarily means that you are doing the right thing."

At that moment, she heard someone coughing politely at the end of the aisle. She knew that little polite and deceiving cough. The _'I-am-harmless_' cough.

She turned toward the cough.

"What do you want?" She asked defensively.

"A word." Kuei said. "Alone."

"No. Here. Where my friends can see you." A thought occurred to her. "And from now on, I will be with my bodyguards, so don't try anything funny."

"I wouldn't dream of it".

She walked to where he was. Her arms crossed over her chest, to make sure he would not try to grab her hand again.

"So." She said.

"So." And then, "are you still angry at me?"

"Why should I? Because you are trying to impose some laws on me, my parents and my city to force me to be your two hundred a seventy third concubine…"

"No." He was fast. "No. Never that. You are not going to be my concubine."

"No?"

"No. You are going to be my consort."

"By the look of this, I am going to be your punishment. So don't you go changing the semantics on me."

"It's not semantics. Your headpiece is ready."

"What headpiece?"

"Your crown." Toph burrowed her brow.

"Do I look like queen material to you?" She asked seriously.

"More than anyone I have ever met."

"Which should tell you how deluded you are. Listen Kuei, I don't wish you harm. Yet. Let this go. Before I do something regrettable."

"No." The Earth King moved and then she realized that he was kneeling. "I want you to be my wife. No one else makes me laugh like you do or helps me organize my life like you do. You are what an ancient and tired kingdom needs: a breath of fresh air. You are what I want for my children: strong with the most amazing bending abilities. And you are what I want for my heart, always stunning."

Toph was astonished. So, this is what romance was like. And then she remember Sparky's mom words. And realized that _definitively _it depended on the idiot.

She decided to let him down, gently.

"Over my dead body." She uncrossed her arms. "If you would have said this before pulling that one at the assembly and siccing your attorneys on me, I don't know. Maybe. But now, all I can promise you is this: there is a raffle to go to hell and you are buying all the tickets."

She turned and he grabbed her arm.

"Gladly, if we are going together. See you at the assembly." He let her go.

Toph walked over to her friends, with a frown.

"What happened to the shy, manhandled, little puppet Kuei that I left before traveling to this forsaken place?" She asked aloud. "Could it be the food?"

"Maybe it's your influence." Suki said. "You know, rubbing off on him?" She decided to let that one go for now.

"What did he mean, I am going to be his consort and not his concubine?"

"I am afraid he wants you as _número uno_." Sokka said.

"What does that mean?"

"Is foreign for like, his _only_ one. You know, his only one for _everything_?"

She thought about this and then realization hit.

"Oh by the Spirits! He plans to visit me at night? I'm not going to be ignored like a good concubine? Eeeeewwww!! Sweetness you HAVE to win this one for me!"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Less than hour later, Toph was sitting with her hands on her lap. To her right sat Suki and to her left Katara. To Katara's left was Chin, on his best behavior and if she were to believe Suki, in his most polished armor, with ink, scrolls and seals in front of him looking like a serious secretary. Sitting at their backs, almost in a protective stance, were Sparky and Snoozles. Someone had rescued the Pebble and the Hippo, who were lending some muscle to her group. She knew the odds, but she had also done more with less. All of them had, and that gave her comfort. In front of them, across the room sat Kuei with his retinue. Presiding the proceedings were the heads of State, and in the middle Aang, who as Sokka suspected, had been chosen as impromptu judge for this case.

"Chief Hakoda of the Now Unified Southern Water Tribes opens the Fifth Session of the General Assembly of the First Official Peace Summit since the End of the One Hundred Year Old War Started by the Fire Nation. The First International Legal Case of the Four Nations is about to enter in Session, the Honorable Avatar Aang, the Last Airbender presiding. Being the Parties Kuei, the 52nd Earth King, henceforth referred to as the Earth King, and Toph Bei Fong, First Daughter of the Bei Fong Vassals from the Vassal State of Gaoling, henceforth referred to as Toph…"

"Objection!" Toph jumped on her seat. Bato, who was acting as court secretary/herald stopped reading, confused.

"Master Bei Fong." Lu Shi said, unctuously. "You cannot object here. These are only the introductory hearings."

"I refused to be called 'Toph' by your lot." She answered. Katara, next to her stood up.

"We would like to request the court to refer to Mistress Bei Fong as Great Master…" _extraordinaire, _added Toph helpfully "… Extraordinaire, or GM. Not Toph. To any of you. Ever." Katara sat down.

Sokka, behind them, said: "Way to go, sis. Between the hairdo, the law school drop out and the attitude we have this case locked airtight!"

Bato the Herald continued: "… hereby referred to as Great Master Extraordinaire….GM for short. The Parties have filed cross motions regarding the assessment of rights by the Earth King, also known as the _Ius Primae Filia. _The Honorable Lu Shi, Esquire, represents the Earth King. The Honorable Katara Water Tribe, represents GM."

"Esquire." She added helpfully. Bato was confused. "You didn't say esquire after my name."

Toph heard Zuko slapping his face, abusing Agni again. _The day Agni decides to show up to call upon his descendant it__'__s going to be one for the ages_, she decided.

"You cannot be Esquire." Lu Shi said, again. "You did not attend law school."

Katara was unfazed.

"I attend Life School, that should be enough. Anyway, if it's about titles, then I want to be called by my warrior name. Katara Water Tribe, The Fire Nation Slayer."

"More like Katara the Fire Nation Layer." Mumbled Toph to Suki, next to her. Suki slapped her on the back of the head, "Whaa?" She yelped. "She is making that one up! Anyway, Aang is sitting like very far away from here."

Katara, thankfully, did not hear her. She was focusing on Lu Shi, who by now stood up.

"You honor," he started towards Aang, "May it please the Court …" and then went down a long and tortuous path full of numbers and law sections. Chin, sitting on the other side of Katara could be heard furiously scribbling on paper. Katara turned to Chin.

"What does _ius primae filia_ mean?" She asked.

"It's foreign for 'Right to the First Daughter'."

"That sounds disgusting." She decided, and Toph heard her cross her arms. Good, Katara crossing her arms meant business. Lu Shi finished his tirade without no one on Toph's side the wiser regarding whatever he had just said. It was Katara's turn to speak.

"May it please the Court." She said regally. "We deny everything."

Lu Shi must have seen a lot in Court because he did not betray any emotion.

"You cannot deny everything, counselor." He said mordantly. "You need to answer the arguments."

"And what are the arguments again?" Lu Shi turned to Aang.

"You honor, I move to disqualify opposing counsel." Before Aang could answer, Katara interrupted.

"You cannot disqualify me," to Toph's surprise her voice was cold and unemotional, like his. "You don't have …" _grounds _whispered Chin, "Grounds."

This seemed to do the trick.

"Are you suggesting that I reprise my entire opening, then?" Lu Shi said.

Katara took a deep breath.

"We do not recognize your arguments." She _obviously _had no idea what the arguments were, but by now Toph suspected that, like her, she didn't care. "Great Master Bei Fong is not an Earth Kingdom citizen. She is a Fire Nation citizen. Your laws do not apply to her."

"But they do. As I explained in my opening arguments, the Earth Kingdom recognizes dual citizenship. She doesn't lose her citizenship, nor her rights or obligations because she is also a citizen of a _friendly _state. The Peace Treaty of 1089, ratified by the Four Harmonies Treaty of four years ago, which regulates dual citizenship for nationals of both the Earth Kingdom and the Fire Nation clearly establishes …"

"I believe you." Katara cut him in the middle of the tirade, _'bless her heart' _thought Toph. Chin whispered something in Katara's ear, "In any case," she continued, "Great Master Bei Fong is right now on _friendly _South Pole soil, so if she so chooses she is also subject to the laws and traditions of this land."

"And how exactly does that impact the Earth King's case? We already established that the Great Master is subject to Earth Kingdom laws. Is there a South Pole _law _that prohibits the Earth King from exercising his rights on his vassals?"

"No." Katara answered, a bit tartly, "But there is a South Pole law against forcing a maiden into an arranged marriage against her will."

Toph heard gasps in the audience. She heard Sokka whispering to Zuko behind her, '_She is making that one up_.'

"I am versant on all Water Tribe traditions," said Lu Shi, his voice unflinching, "And we happened to have brought as part of the Earth King's delegation an expert on Southern Water Tribe customs from Ba Sing Se University. And I can tell you, because we have done our research, there is no such tradition on the South Pole."

"Ah yeah?" said Katara (_'She is putting her hands on her hips", _Sokka whispered '_we may need to run for cover'_) "And who are you to tell me, or my people, what our traditions are? Just because you haven't learn this one doesn't mean it does not exist."

"If only _you _know about the tradition, then it is not a tradition. It needs to be an inherited, established, or customary pattern of thought, action, or behavior (as a religious practice or a social custom) and be practiced by many to be recognized. And as our expert here informs us, this is not the case here."

The thing with Katara was that when she got scared or confused, she also got angry. And when she got angry, she would fight like a demon.

"Who is this expert you keep quoting? How can an Earth Kingdom scholar know more about the South Pole than us?" There were rustling sounds, shifting of people and then she heard Katara say "_You,_" and Sokka behind her "_Is the crazy mass murderer witch that almost kill me and Aang! Zuko, I am scared!__"_ Zuko behind her leaned closer to them, probably to have a better view, "_So this is Hama.__"_He murmured to himself "_Katara__'__s teacher.__"_

"Hama." Katara said without losing her composure, "So you are a scholar now?"

"Which better place to preserve all the knowledge that was destroyed by the Fire Nation than a University?" the woman answered with a cackle. Yep, that was a cackle alright. Not even the hag in the back of Toph's head could cackle like that. "Over there, they _care _about the lost knowledge. Not like others, with short memories and weak hearts, ready to forget the unforgivable and to forgive the unspeakable."

"Oh shut it. We are not here to hear your grievances." Katara dismissed her haughtily. She was probably doing it as a way to cover a rising sense of panic. Chin wrote something and hurriedly passed it to Katara. Katara immediately said, "The South Pole was conformed until today by scattered tribes. Hama's tribe was not mine. So I reserve the right to …" she stopped, trying to figure out something, probably trying to read the piece of paper. "_R__efute,_" whispered Chin, "… to refute Hama's testimony."

"So are you producing a rebuttal expert, then?" Lu Shi asked. Katara probably did not know what 'rebuttal' meant, but she was a fast learner.

"I am. I am going to re-butt you from here into next week." She answered. "I introduce Kana, formerly from the Northern Water Tribe and now our living expert on Southern Water Tribe Feminist customs." Toph heard comments, whispering from the audience. Sokka behind her was talking to Zuko. "_Is it prohibited for a counselor to get a grandma to lie for her on the stand?_"

Zuko, dragging Agni on the mud again, answered, "_You did not ask that, I did not hear the question and this conversation never happened. We don__'__t know anything for certain regarding perjury from expert witnesses.__"_

_Wow_, thought Toph, _all these Fire Nation royals are like natural born attorneys or something_.

Suki whispered in Toph's ear, "Gran-Gran is approaching the center of the room and standing next to Hama. They are circling each other now."

Chin jumped in.

"Three copper pieces on the ugly witch." He said, putting money on the table. Suki put a fan on top.

"Five on Gran-Gran"

"I'm in," said Toph, "Seven on Gran-Gran"

Sokka leaned over.

"Actually, eight on Hama. That's an ugly, mean, scary witch if I know one."

Zuko leaned over too.

"You are all an embarrassment." He said, and from the sound of his voice, Toph knew he had to be pinching his nose. "Ten on Gran-Gran." He added, a slight touch of mirth finding it's way into his raspy voice. "She's Katara's grandma, the other witch won't know what hit her."

Lu Shi was questioning Gran-Gran now.

"So, are we to believe that there is this _unique _tradition, only practiced in Chief Hakoda's tribe, regarding a prohibition against arranged marriages?"

Katara held her breath. Toph knew that Gran-Gran was very strict regarding truthfulness and deceit. They all held their breaths.

"There is." Gran-Gran said and whispers filled the room.

"That's a lie!" screamed Hama. "No Tribe on the South Pole prohibited arranged marriages. We didn't practice them, but we did not prohibit them."

Kana did not lose her composure.

"The tradition exist in my tribe _because I started it._" Her voice was clear and sharp, as the ice, and Toph immediately knew from where had Katara inherited her dual quality for nobility and transgression. "When I came here seeking refuge from the _barbaric _customs of the Northern Water Tribe regarding arranged marriages, I vowed to the Spirits that no girl in my adopted Tribe would ever have to face such ordeal. My son won't let me lie. He upholds his mother's vow."

Sokka whispered behind her, '_They are dragging Dad into this, Zuko. Now we are all perjuring our way into hell.' _

Chief Hakoda took a step forward.

"My honor and the honor of my Tribe is to do what is just. My mother does not lie, we don't condone forcing girls into anything here."

Toph felt her chest expand. Not only were Kana and Hakoda lying through their teeth for her, she knew the entire village would now come forward and swear that this was an ancient tradition even if it was minted exactly ten minutes ago.

Lu Shi seemed delighted.

"So, there is not forcing little girls into marriages then." He said, "Then, in the name of the Earth King we invoke the right to a Contest of the Frosts."

A universal held of collective breath sounded in the Assembly. She turned to Suki, "_Whaa?_"

"_No idea.__"_ The warrior said.

Zuko behind her was whispering with Sokka "_What__'__s that?_"

"_That__'__s bad, that what it is. No one has invoked that in one hundred and fifty years!_"

Even Katara was at loss. She turned to Kana.

"Gran-Gran?" She started. Kana sounded disgusted.

"No one has invoked such barbaric tradition in this land for over a hundred and fifty years." She said ominously. "Hama Water Tribe, you're already cursed, but I call our ancestors on you. For each day of misery in the life of this girl, may you suffer tenfold."

The curse reverberated down the hall.

"I was already in hell." Hama said with the cackle. "And came back. All the days of misery in store for this girl won't pay back the width of my despair."

Toph leaned back towards Zuko and Sokka.

"This sounds bad. Am I going to be boiled in oil or something?"

"At the end of this, you may wish for that as an option." Sokka mumbled darkly.

Katara was furiously whispering with her father and Gran-Gran. Suddenly she stopped, and turned to Toph.

"I am so sorry." She whispered. "So sorry."

Now even Toph was on edge.

"What?" She asked. "What's going to happen to me?"

Chief Hakoda of the United Southern Water Tribes took a step forward and addressed the assembly.

"The Earth King has invoked the right to a Contest of the Frosts. Under the traditions of the Water Tribes we cannot refuse the request. No one can without invoking the wrath of Tui and La upon our entire world." Hakoda breathed deeply, and continued, pronouncing every word like it tasted foul on his lips. "Great Master Extraordinaire Toph Bei Fong, hereby I declare the Contest of the Frosts open upon your hand. All suitors of this land and beyond that may seek or want your hand in marriage are free to do so by a battle of wits and a battle of force. The contest is to last a week, and whomever is left standing at the end _will_ have your hand in marriage. If no suitor steps forward to challenge the Earth King the Contest is won and you will be forfeited to the King." Hakoda took a step back, and then said very softly. "I am so sorry my child."

Toph rose to her feet.

"What's this? From bad to worse? What's the difference between this stupid contest and just marrying Kuei directly?"

Sokka grabbed her arm.

"The difference is that now," he said with a sense of urgency and concern in his voice, "anyone who competes and win _may have you. _It's not only Kuei anymore, Toph. Open season has been officially declared and you are the game."

* * *

_A/N: Obviously I am not a math major. If I were, I would have picked up the fact that if this is happening 4 years after the war, Zuko would be 21 already, Aang and Toph 17, etc. So, this is happening __almost 4 years after the war, Aang is about to be 17 because is autumn (and he's an airbender, thus probably born during that season), Sokka and Katara will be 20 and 19 in winter, Sukki and Toph 20 and 17 during the Spring and finally Zuko 21 during the summer. Everything falls into place now._

_Also, I keep thinking about how they look. This is how I think they look:_

_Everyone, except Zuko, look exactly like Greenifyme's drawings in deviant art, in her lovely comic "Revealing Destiny". Go and check it out. It's a work in progress. http : / / greenifyme dot deviantart dot com / art / Revealing-Destiny-Prologue-1-79681912_

_Zuko looks like a drawing by Sorceressmyr called Zuko the Banished Prince. I love that drawing, so that is how I imagine him to look. http : / / sorceressmyr dot deviantart dot com / art / zuko-the-banished-prince-72483755_


	10. 2nd Interlude, What the Blind Girl Saw

**X. Second Interlude – What the Blind Girl Saw**

Toph was again sitting in the middle of a room, holding a cup of warm fire wine, listening to people around her. The stress levels were going up, that's all she knew. She felt weirdly detached from the entire ordeal. Like it was happening to someone else. So she focused on eating and drinking. First time in the entire, and now very long day that she was actually eating. Wondering how her life had gone from ordinary to freaking unbelievable. Well, at least as ordinary as life usually is for blind metal benders courted by kings, kissed by avatars and befriended by warriors and princes. Being the obscure object of desire of an obscure contest in the middle of frozen nowhere at, literally, the end of the world was nothing compared to that.

Hakoda was again discussing with Iroh, Arnook, Bumi and the rest of the White Lotus guys the situation and the options. Next to her, Katara and Suki kept looking at her and whispering.

"_She is so calm._" Suki said. "_It makes me nervous_."

"_She is acting the same way she usually does when she visits her parents._" Katara said. "_Look at how she eats. She is playing the lady. No one can play the lady better than Toph. But she only does it when she is shutting down the world outside. It means she is in shock._"

Sparky's mom, with that ghost like quality that Toph had noticed since the first day she met her, was sitting next to her. Toph could feel her soft breaths, while pushing plates of food in front of her. Lady Ursa always gave her a diaphanous impression, like if part of her were made of pure essence. If it wasn't because Toph knew her to be flesh and blood, she would have swear that Sparky's mom was part Spirit.

The guys were gesticulating wildly, discussing with the older crowd. She could _hear_ their gestures. Maybe it was that by now she knew them so well that they were imprinted in her memory. Aang was pacing around, branding the staff. Zuko would cross and uncross his arms, pinch his nose, berate Agni, while Sokka would play soldier and threaten the world with his replacement sword. Toph thought lazily that it was a pity that he never recovered the space sword. Luckily for him Piandao had kept part of the meteorite in his estate, and Sokka had done a pilgrimage to his master's house to forge a new sword, with Suki this time instead of them. Now he was probably branding the replacement space sword in front of people's faces. Toph was not sure what all the hoopla was about. So Kuei was willing to participate in a contest for her hand, and unless another suitor show up he would be running the race alone. That needed to be remedied.

"I need suitors" she said daintily, pushing tiny pieces of fish and rice into her mouth with chopsticks. Katara and Suki drew closer. The steady sound of cups begin refilled, and the Lady's brief absence lead her to believe that Sparky's mom was refilling cups for everyone.

"What did you say, my dear?" Lady Ursa asked.

"I need suitors." She answered while eating calmly. "Kuei needs some competition."

Katara sipped her drink.

"You are right, Toph. But unless you like the new suitors, I don't know if that will help much"

Toph kept eating small bites, chewing with her mouth closed, and delicately bringing a napkin to the corners of her mouth.

"It will help make Kuei's life miserable. Besides annihilating the sandbenders, that now is my new and only purpose in life."

The Lady (that's what Toph always called her. She tried pinning a nickname on her but somehow it did not feel appropriate) assented.

"It's a worthy cause" she said "but I am afraid it will get old fairly fast. So my dear Nu-er" she said turning to Katara "explain to me what the story is behind this contest" At any other moment Toph would have raised an eyebrow and inquire about the term of endearment that the Lady had just used with her friend, but she was too busy fighting the world with good manners and food to pay attention to what was going on around her.

Katara sipped her wine.

"The Contest of the Frosts is an old Water Tribe ritual for settling disputes between suitors. It is considered barbaric because there are no rules of engagement. Anyone can enter, but only one can leave. Traditionally, the fights are to the death."

Toph heard Zuko coming over and sitting next to his mother. She could feel how tired he was. Katara kept talking.

"Legend says that the first Contest of the Frosts was held for the hand of the Moon. The Spirit of the Ocean and the Spirit of the Sun were both in love with the Moon. The Moon couldn't make up her mind regarding which suitor she liked best and she kept dragging her feet and making both the Ocean and the Sun miserable. These are powerful Spirits but love was making them sad and they started neglecting their duties."

Sokka and Aang came over to listen to Katara. Toph heard Sokka whisper to Suki

"_What's with Toph?_"

"_She is playing the lady_"

"_By the Spirits, she is in shock!_"

Aang, on the other hand sat next to Toph. He very carefully put an arm around her shoulders and left it there. Toph didn't pause to think about the uncommon gesture, too intent on Kataras' tale. She continued.

"Then, one day the Dragon Gods got angry at the Sun and the Ocean for neglecting their duties. And told them that they would have to fight for the hand of the Moon. The winner would win her and she, in turn, as punishment for her flirting, would have to accept whomever the winner was. The battle between the Sun and the Ocean was ferocious. The legend says that the Fire Nation islands were born when the Sun fell from the sky during the fight. On the same note, the Poles formed when the Ocean got the upper hand and managed to bury the sun under the water, plunging the world in winter and darkness. At the end, the Ocean won the battle. It drowned the Spirit of the Sun and made him his prisoner at the bottom of the Ocean. And the poor Sun would drown a thousand times over because of his immortality. And the Ocean was proud because he had made the sky dark forever, for his beloved Moon to reign supreme in the sky. But the land was sad and the Moon was sadder, because without the Sun everything was terrible and cold. No food would grow from the earth, no warmth for the mortals, and even the fishes on the Ocean were dying. It is called the Contest of the Frosts because the world became dark and cold, covered in permanent frost. At the end, the Ocean regretted winning, particularly because the Moon was incensed against him and refused to let him touch her. The Dragon Gods intervened, and gave a mortal hero the strength to liberate the Sun. Since then the Moon and the Ocean dance together in an eternal dance, never touching, because she still spurns his advances. The legend says that the Moon got so angry at the Ocean that she took a lover. Once a month the sky grows dark because the Moon disappears to meet her lover. So the contest forced her to accept the hand of the Ocean, but she is now the lover of the Sun. Every night, out of jealousy, the Ocean drowns the Sun again, and every morning it raises to start the circle anew."

"Wow." Suki said. "What a sad legend." Toph had finished with her food, though she still was acting with refinement.

"So this entire Contest is a punishment for bad girls." Toph said, her voice very sweet. "Either way, it's a losing proposition for the girl: if she doesn't like either guy enough, she gets stuck with one. If she likes them both, she still gets stuck with only one. And I thought Earth Kingdom customs were backwards" she turned to Katara "So is your best friend the Moon like the ultimate tramp?"

Sokka was offended.

"The Moon is GOOD, is not her fault that she is pretty and those creepy Spirits keep trying to pick her up."

"She is doing the Sun." Toph said with composure. "Behind the Ocean's back. That sounds like a tramp to me. The Ocean deserves it, don't get me wrong. Kudos for the Moon! Yeah! Anyway, this is the ultimate Contest for the hand of the Ultimate Tart." She paused "and I am the tart." She turned her head to Aang, who was still holding her. "Your heard that, Twinkle Toes? I'm going to be punished like a loose woman and forced into marriage with any guy faster than Kuei, which right now is anyone on the face of this planet. Imagine what would happen to me if I actually start doing tartly things?"

"We are going to help you, Sifu T." Aang said with determination. "Kuei won't win this one."

"So." Suki asked. "What happens if after the contest the maiden says no?"

Sokka and Katara were quiet for one moment.

"The purpose of the contest is to punish the maiden more than to reward the warriors." Sokka said carefully. "She forfeits her life if she says no."

"But I haven't done anything wrong." Toph said. "If this is to punish the maiden that is flirting with two guys, that is as far away from me as you can get."

"You said no." Sokka answered. "Once the right to the contest is invoked, it removes from the maiden the possibility of saying No."

Toph covered her mouth aghast.

"This is the most vindictive, primitive and barbaric thing I have ever heard." She said. "Talk about not dealing well with rejection."

"That is the reason why this thing only gets invoked like every one hundred and fifty years or so!" defended Sokka "It usually ends in tragedy and despair. There is not a single instance of a happy marriage coming out of that contest, ever. It's considered a curse on the maiden, condemned to a life of misery and unfulfillment. The only guys that would risk it are either really desperate or just want to destroy the girl."

Silence let this sink in.

"So that was what your Gran-Gran meant by her curse." Zuko said, in disbelief.

"Why did your Dad say that he couldn't refuse the request for the Contest?" Suki asked. "What happens if he does?"

"The Dragon Gods and the Spirits get really, really, angry. I mean, like apocalyptically angry." Sokka said. "The last time a Contest was refused happened over two hundred and fifty years ago and a horrible plague fell upon the tribe. People kept dying until the Contest was held. It is understood by all Water Tribes that angering the Spirits is not the way to go. The Ocean particularly takes the Contest very seriously. He is the one who starts placing curses and what not's. You should know, Aang, how angry that guy can get, you wiped out an entire fleet riding on his temper."

"Of course he gets angry." Toph said. "He's not getting any from the Moon, so he has to make sure mortals are miserable too. The guy is Full of tension."

"So." Suki asked innocently. "Do you think that Yue is like, you know, dating these Spirits? I mean, she got thrown in the middle of her predecessor's drama, is not like she has much choice in the matter."

Sokka was open mouthed.

"That's so …" He looked for the right word… "Eeewwww." He finished eloquently.

"I am the Avatar." Aang said suddenly. "Maybe I can travel to the Spirit world and have a conversation with the Spirits about this. Maybe I can convince them not to strike back if we refuse to go ahead with this."

"Good luck with that." Sokka said. "The Ocean and the Moon are at the North Pole."

"No, their mortal forms are, but their Spirits are everywhere."

"Yeah." Toph said, fully reverted to her usual self. "And while you are at it go and ask Sokka's ex to please take one for the team and put up. That should make the Ocean happy and spare us the end of the world." Sokka whistled below his breath _who is buying tickets for the raffle to hell, now?_

"Stop saying those things about Yue" he said, ill humored "She is innocent of all wrongdoing"

"So am I." Toph said. "So, lay it out for me: what are my options?"

"Basically, three." Sokka answered her. "Option number One: refuse the contest and risk the demise of the Water Tribes at the hands of the Gods. We can safely rule that one out. Option number Two: face the Contest and marry whomever wins. We can accept that one if the winner is someone you like. If it's Kuei, we need to warn you against the dangers of murdering your own husband. Option number Three: Face the Contest, refuse the winner and face death because if we let you live the Gods will go crazy on us again, so it will be either you or the demise of our Tribes. So number one and number three are basically the same, with the caveat that in number one only we die and in number three is either you or us."

"Whose idea was it to use Water Tribe traditions to save Toph?" Zuko mumbled, his muffled voice sounding like it was coming somewhere from under his arms. He was probably burying his head deeply in his hands.

"Chin." Katara said. "Who is now hiding from you and who, by the way, says that Sokka won the bet and left three copper pieces for him."

"Next time Chin is up for promotion I will handle his review personally." Zuko muttered.

Toph, however, raised her head.

"Wait." She said. "Let's not write this off yet. What Kuei doesn't know about us is that just because we are losing doesn't mean we've lost. We've faced worse odds. We finished a century old war with less than this. Sokka, think. Which of the three options is the less damaging for the Tribes and me at the same time?"

"Your death." He said without hesitation. "Save the tribes, avoid icky marriage, make Gods happy with human misery. It's the perfect combo. Except for the fact that you will be dead, of course. But single!" He added, helpfully.

"That's the solution." She said happily. "Let's fake my death."

"What part about the _all-knowing_-vengeful Gods you did not get?" Katara asked.

"That's why Twinkle Toes is here for. He's a charmer, he will charm his way into the Spirits and get himself invited to the pantheon of the Dragon Gods and intercede for my cause and for the Tribes."

"And if he doesn't succeed?"

"I will have to fake being dead really, really hard." She said.

The idea was preposterous, but somehow it lifted everyone's spirits.

"If you are going to be facing this contest." Zuko said suddenly. "We need to get you some suitors. There is no need to make this easier on Kuei. Let him sweat."

"I think he believes that no one else would like to participate." Katara said with annoyance. "We need to make sure we get enough suitors to get him to back down. Or at least worry."

"That's a fourth option." Sokka said suddenly. "If Kuei backs down he takes the challenge with him. No Contest, no foul."

Toph shook her head.

"He won't back down." She said. "I know him too well. Under his harmless demeanor rests one of the most stubborn and unwavering people I've ever met. Believe me, I know unwavering."

"How are we going to attract suitors?" Suki asked.

"Please, don't let Sokka do her portrait." Katara said. "And do not use her wanted poster from her Runaway days. That will scare guys away."

"We need a real artist" Aang said, who Toph suddenly noticed was still holding her. "Master Piandao!" Aang called. Sokka's master with the elegant voice came over. "We need you to draw a picture of Toph, we are going to make posters to get suitors for her hand."

Toph felt Piandao come closer. The lightest touch grazed her chin, almost as he was asking permission. She didn't flinch away, offering her consent. Piandao gently put his fingers under her chin and raised her face.

"There won't be a scarcity of suitors" he said and she knew that he did not mean it as a compliment, but it sounded like one. "I will paint you tomorrow first thing in the morning."

"Let's make sure that the poster mentions her family and how rich they are." Zuko said. "Faces are a matter of taste, but money is universal."

"Yep, that's really flattering: whomever doesn't want me for my body will want me for my money. I feel _so _loved." Toph said.

"It's going to be a crazy week." Suki said.

"And depending on the results, we will at least have one wedding and maybe a funeral, hopefully not on the same day." Toph said.

"But I thought you didn't want to get married through this Contest!" Katara said.

"I meant _your_ Commitment Ceremony, Sugar-cakes. You're so _fussy _about labels."

"Ah!" Katara sounded … _surprised? _"Yeah. The Ceremony. Right."

Uncomfortable silence fell on the friends.

"Yes" Aang said and for the first time removed his arm from Toph's shoulders. "Our Ceremony."

"Well …" Katara sounded prickly "With all that's going on, we should, I don't … er, … I mean, we don't know what's going to happen with this Contest, we may not have reasons to celebrate. It doesn't sound auspicious to me."

The silence felt like a physical presence.

"You are right" Aang said suddenly, and it was hard to figure out if he was affected or not by his fiancée's actions. Somehow reading Aang was becoming increasingly difficult lately. Toph wondered if it had to do with the fact that he seemed to be maturing into his role, his body and his personality. He also seemed to be developing hidden depths that so far had seemed reserved only for Zuko. There was something lurking beneath the surface with Aang lately, and Toph thought that, for the first time since meeting him, he was becoming an intriguing person. "We can talk about it later. We need to focus in arm wrestling Spirits and someone needs to ensure Toph dies a fake death."

"You need to keep your plan secret." Lady Ursa said suddenly. "From everyone here. Don't tempt the Spirits more than necessary. Take it from someone who knows." Toph heard Zuko embracing his mother.

"Yes my Lady." She said lowering her head. "We know how to keep secrets. We are all very good at them."

Suddenly Toph felt the length of the day in her body. At least, they had a plan. Maybe not a good one, but it was something. She felt like she could use some rest.

"I think I'm going to bed." She announced. "Sweetness, would you walk me to my room?"

"Of course." Katara said. Sokka yawned.

"I'm so tired." He said. "Suki, do you mind walking with me? There's something I want to talk to you about."

"Of course Sokka." Said the warrior.

Toph and Katara said goodnight to everyone and left, walking quietly towards Toph's room.

"Toph." Katara said suddenly breaking the silence. "I'm really sorry about the trial. I'm sorry I lost."

"Forget about it Sweetness. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't even Chin's. It was a good idea and we were doing fine with the lying in court and everything. How were we supposed to know that your Tribe traditions suck so much? I mean, the Northern Tribe is supposed to be the sucky one, not yours."

"I know, I'm still sorry." They walked in silence for a couple of minutes and then Katara spoke up, shattering it. "I'm going to try the goods tonight."

Toph was surprised.

"Why tonight?"

"Because I need to know." She said adamantly. "I've been thinking about the things you said and I think you're right about a couple of things. It's my decision after all. Not Aang's, not Zuko's and definitively not a tree's. The last thing I need is to guide my life by a tree. Whatever my destiny is, it shouldn't feel like this. So I'm trying the goods tonight."

Toph wondered why she felt weird in her stomach. Maybe it was the fish.

"Don't run too fast." She said in a low voice. Katara laughed, but it was not a happy laugh.

"I won't. I need to remember that the slapping happens afterwards."

Toph felt obligated to add the bit of information she knew about Aang.

"And take precautions." She said seriously. "All the ones you can. You never know, he flies and stuff. He may circumvent the precautions, so please be careful. Don't let 'trying the goods' become a lifetime trial."

Katara seemed moved.

"I'll take precautions. I am a healer. I know what to do."

When they reached Toph's room Katara gave her a hug, and Toph returned it with all her might.

"Whatever happens in the next couple of days Katara." She said. "You are my best friend."

"And you are mine." Katara left, soft steps fading in the distance.

OoOoOoOo

Toph couldn't sleep. She just couldn't. She didn't even try, frankly. She lay on her bed fully dressed for what felt like an hour, but could have been fifteen minutes for all she knew, and then said:

"Sod off!"

She jumped from her bed, leaving the room. She walked to the only place she knew how to reach without getting lost, Zuko's room. She wondered if he would be there, and if he wasn't, then at least she could steal some chocolates. Chocolates felt like just the thing for right now. There were no guards outside of Zuko's room, so she opened the door directly.

"Champion!" He said startled. And she stayed at the door, not knowing what to do.

"Sorry Sparky." She answered honestly. "I didn't expect you to be here. I thought you would be with the White Lotus contingent solving the world problems."

"I'm tired." He said. "And my mom wanted to retire." He paused. "Why are you here? Fire whiskey?"

"Chocolates." She admitted. He chuckled.

"Come." He said and grabbed her hand, guiding her to the bed. She sat and he put a box on her lap. She started nibbling on one.

"How are you feeling, champ?" he asked.

"So, so." She responded. "Hopefully now that we have one of our half-baked crappy plans. It makes me feel that precisely because we have all the odds against us, we may just be able to get away with it."

She heard him move his head, probably nodding.

"I'm nodding." He said and she smiled. He always remembered that she couldn't see "Yes, it feels like we are drowning, this is definitively like old times."

"How are _you _doing?" She asked in return.

"About what?"

"Twinkle Toes, Sugar Cakes, you know, the entire thing."

"So, so." He said honestly. "It's hard to reason with Aang sometimes. He refuses to see a different point of view than his."

"It's because everything comes easy to him." She said, meaning it. "And he doesn't get challenged enough. At his core, I mean. Sugar Queen doesn't challenge him, she enables him."

"He doesn't challenge her either." Zuko said in a low voice. They shared a moment of silence, then he added. "I finally did it."

"Did what?"

"I talked to him about the facts of life."

"The real ones?" She was surprised. "What brought this decision on?"

"You." She raised an eyebrow. "You and Katara, whatever you were doing in Suki's room."

Toph tried not to laugh, but couldn't help it.

"You got it all wrong!" She started.

"I know. But a guy's imagination _usually _gets everything wrong. Add some visuals to it, and you have a recipe for disaster. I had to intervene."

"And how did it go?" He considered this for a moment.

"I had to fill in details. Your trashy romance scrolls might have been helpful, actually. Trying to answer Aang's questions with drawings, well, no good. But it is done now. I did my duty." He seemed wretched, though.

Toph nibbled another piece.

"I want to ask you something." She said.

"Fire away."

"How did you know about Hama? You called her Katara's teacher, but she never talks about Hama. Aang hates to talk about Hama's techniques, he calls them an abomination."

"Because I've seen Katara using those techniques and she told me the story behind them."

"You've seen her? More than once?"

"Yes" Toph understood that Zuko would give her the same 'it's not my story to tell' thing if she kept digging, so she decided to let it rest.

"It's interesting." She said. "She trusts you with seeing the worst in her." He did not answer.

She kept nibbling.

"Sweetness says that you never write to her." She said. He shrugged.

"I do. I just don't send my letters."

"Why not?" He did not answer. Sparky was being particularly taciturn tonight. She wondered if it had anything to do with Katara trying the goods.

"Do you know where Katara is right now?" She asked, tentatively.

"With Aang." He answered without hesitation. "He told me that she was coming over to his room tonight."

"Was he nervous?"

"Didn't seem so. More like excited I would say." Sparky's voice was controlled, but she could feel raw emotion coiling like a serpent underneath.

"Good for them." Toph said, but didn't feel it. She thought for a moment, and decided that life was short and bitter. "Sparky, I have a favor to ask."

"Anything." He said.

"Kiss me." She said before she knew she was about to say that. He froze.

"What did you say?' He asked incredulously.

"You heard me." She said putting the chocolates aside. "I want you to kiss me."

He made a noise, and she found it hard to tell if he was snorting or chuckling.

"But why?"

"Because my life is turning into a freak show right in front of my own eyes, and there are certain things that I want to do for myself by myself before I am forced to do them for someone else."

He still seemed undecided. It was definitively easier to seduce Twinkle Toes than Sparky.

"Are you sure it's me you want?" He asked.

"Yes. You are my friend." She stopped for a moment, and then added honestly. "I really like you." She grabbed his hand and put it on top of her chest, where her heart was. "I liked you like this. Like a heartbeat." She murmured. "I'm your friend. Your steady, firm, grounded friend. I don't drive you crazy, I don't pick up fights with you thinking they are foreplay, I am not temperamental or moody or depressed. And I don't do moon nights. This is me. All of me. What you see is what you get."

His hand moved over her heart and it cupped her breast and her breath caught in her throat at the light contact. She felt him coming closer, the warmth of his hand over the breast and the heat of his breath closer to her face. He kissed her cheek very slowly. And moved his mouth toward her mouth.

"You are not allowed to hit me if you get too nervous with what is going to happen now." He said softly, centimeters from her mouth.

"I won't"

"I am serious. No hitting, not pushing me out of the bed, not complaining."

"I know. You are not lying."

"But I am smiling." He said on the corner of her mouth. She smiled back.

"That you are!"

The kiss started surprisingly chaste. She opened her mouth in exploration and he pressed a bit further. She liked his smell. She always did. She also liked his warmth. She decided that she really liked kissing him and could keep doing this for a while. His hand left her breast and went to her waist. And stayed there. He did not try to move it further and she was too busy learning the subtleties of a good kiss to care or notice. When she was starting to feel this unusual warmth spreading down to her toes, he broke the kiss and put his hand on her cheek.

"That was…" He looked for the right word "… sweet" and there was some surprise "very sweet."

Toph wasn't sure that she liked that adjective.

"I'm not your little sister." She said with assurance (dammed if she felt it though).

He seemed surprised.

"I know you are not."

"So, don't treat me like I am. I can tell if you are lying."

He laughed now.

"I know." He said and she heard him rubbing his chest.

She suddenly understood something about Sparky. It had to do with the way he tended to fixate on things and with something Suki had said earlier.

"I'm not Katara." She said and honestly, it did not hurt saying it. "I don't do, you know, fancy bending with inner fluids and stuff and I'm in your face most of the time." He was still chuckling. She grabbed his arm, stopping his movements over his chest. "The difference between me and Katara is that I can see. Every time you rub your chest you are thinking about her. You don't even notice that you do it." He froze. Toph let go of his arm. "I honestly hope that you don't do that all the time when you are with Sunshine or that girl is going to end up murdering someone by mistake soon."

He stayed quiet, his hand over his chest, paralyzed.

Toph tilted her head.

"So Sparky." She asked directly. "Why haven't you told her that you love her?"

Zuko paused for a long moment before speaking.

"Someone who feels less may be able to say more."

"Wow." Toph said seriously, shaking her head. "That was deep."

She waited for a moment, before asking

"Is that the reason why you don't send your letters?"

"Those letters," he said slowly, "are ramblings. The yearnings of a lost soul under a tree. No one should read those letters. I don't know why I haven't burned them yet."

"Because they remind you of her" she said matter of factly. She then felt like adding something else "I know you are trying to get your country's honor back, but no self sacrifice is going to resurrect a race that died almost one hundred years before you were born. Think about the concept of sacrifice. It may not be what you think it is, and you being miserable is not going to bring a single dead airbender back to life."

She stood up and leaned to kiss his forehead.

"Good evening Sparky. Thank you for the chocolates and the kiss. You certainly are a _natural_."

Sparky grabbed her hand.

"Champ, we are going to get you out of this one." He said fervently. She patted his head.

"I know."

She left his room with a spring in her step. Feeling renovated and full of life. Like she had closed a door that was open letting in the cold.

When she got to her room she closed the door behind her back, and leaned on it feeling like giggling. That's when she felt a presence in the room. Someone was sitting on her bed.

"Good evening Sifu T." Aang said. "Where were you?"

* * *

_A/N: TVMaster2000 mentioned that my summary says Zutara but this story is Toph centric. This is the unwilling result of painting myself into a corner. When I started writing this I wanted to do Zutara from an outsider's point of view, and the ideal outsider was Toph. However, that person is blind and I put her on ice, which made her cranky, so the Great Master hijacked my story in retaliation and ran away with it. I haven't been able to get it back. So I find myself going down a path that I never imagined. This is at heart a Zutara story, believe me, but Toph has the annoying habit of getting under your skin. So when I am done with this, I am going to write a Zutara lemonade from their point of view and won't let Toph near my computer._


	11. Third Interlude, Altruism

**XI. Third Interlude - Altruism**

"TwinkleToes!" Toph said surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk." He said simply. "Where were you?" He asked again.

She shrugged.

"With Sparky." She walked to where he was. She felt warmth emanating from him. "Why are you bending fire?" She asked.

"Because there are no lamps in your room and I need to be able to see." Toph assented. She noticed by the heat that he had lit the stove in the middle of the room too. She sat next to him in the bed. She was dying to know what had happened.

"Where is Katara?" Toph asked innocently. "She told me she was going back to where you were."

"She went back to her room. She said she was tired." He said. Toph said nothing, expecting him to break the silence first.

"What's a kuku?" He asked suddenly. She didn't miss a beat.

"A fruit." Darn, was she becoming good, said the hag. Better than Katara _herself_. She then added, cautiously. "Where did you hear that word?"

"I decided to follow your lessons with Katara. I looked at her lips, used the deep voice and then, deep in the middle of the kiss, she said 'kuku'." He paused. "Why would she think of fruit while kissing me?" He asked, probably to himself.

"Maybe you taste like one." Reasoned Toph.

"Really? What does a kuku taste like?"

Before she could stop herself, she answered.

"Very tasty" and then, for the sake of truth, she added, "it's native of the swamp marshes, but you can also find it in the Fire Nation."

"Never heard of it." Toph played with the coverlet.

"Well, it's never been really popular until recently. A bit of an acquired taste." Choosing to change the topic, she turned the onus on him. "Why are you asking _me_ about kukus? Why not Katara?"

"She didn't seem interested in talking." He said. "She was sort of spaced out." She felt him drop himself in the bed, a wave of frustration coming from him. "You need some lamps in here." He said.

"Don't need them and didn't plan to entertain much here. I guess I can always ask Gran-Gran for some."

"It's OK. I can see enough with the reflections from the stove." He stayed silent and she laid down on her back next to him.

"You wanted to talk." She reminded him. He sighed deeply.

"She tends to do that." He said.

"Do what?"

"She just, you know, sort of retreat within herself. I can tell by the way she looks at me sometimes that she wants to tell me things. Maybe many things. But she doesn't. And when I try to get her to talk openly, she just … retreats."

"Maybe she is afraid that you are not going to like what she has to say."

"That can't be. I'm the Avatar, I'm supposed to understand everything."

"Yep, that's the theory. Not sure if you do, though."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Lately, you keep that _I'm the Avatar _mantra like is going to solve everything. You are supposed to understand things, but truth is T.T. that you never do so at first. It takes you a _while _to reach understanding. When you do."

"_When _I do?"

"You're right, _if _you do."

"You are going to keep insulting me all night, aren't you?" He sat again, frustrated. "I think I better leave." She grabbed the back of his robes.

"Don't you go running away just because you don't like what I am saying. For once in your avatar life, stay and face what's coming head on." He tried to shake himself lose, but she was relentless on her hold. He stopped.

"OK. Finish then. You left it at '_if I do._'"

She let go of his robes.

"Things come too easy to you." She said, putting her hands under her head. He was probably looking at her intently, because she could feel a prick on her neck. She didn't move.

"You think my life is easy?" He sounded astonished. "That everything I had to face up to now has been easy?"

"Actually, yes." Before he could start she sat up and put her hand on top of his mouth. "You get away with things. You do. You get to throw a tantrum because things were getting a little rough in your temple, and then you get spared certain genocide for one hundred years. You get to refuse to open your chakras voluntarily because you don't want to let go of your crush, and you still manage to save the world because your previous lives decide to come to the rescue. You even decided that you wouldn't sacrifice your pacifist soul way before a lion-turtle bailed you out. And finally, you keep ignoring the fact that Katara may not want _you _the same way you do, but you always manage to get her at the end. You get away with things, and you're used to that." She removed her hand from his mouth. "So far, you've never had to sacrifice anything of yourself. Things just fall into place for you. They do. I'll bet that you haven't told your fiancée-on-hold about your festivals and your plans to restore your race. I'll bet that somewhere in the back of your head you know that even that will come easy to you."

She decided she was finished and laid again on her back on the bed. He kept silent for a while. She could hear him opening his mouth as to say something, and then closing it again like he thought better of it.

"Things come easy to you too." He said suddenly with certain level of resentment.

She shrugged.

"I know. That used to be the case, but look at me now. Turnabout, I don't recommend it." She rolled on her side and rested her head in her hand. "It's doing great things for my character development, though. I would certainly recommend it for maturity purposes."

He laid down next to her. She could tell he was facing her because she could hear his breathing.

"I thought things would be different tonight." He confided.

"With Katara?"

"Yes. There is this…" he looked for the right word "… barrier that we haven't been able to cross. Things never get … heated. Once, years ago, she sort of went very … intense and I kinda freaked out. Since then, well …" he stopped, and finally added with a sigh. "It is what it is. I thought that we should wait for marriage, to make sure everything was in place in case of any consequences. Today I had a conversation with Zuko about women. And something he said made me realize that maybe I didn't have to, you know, wait."

Toph was dying to know. _Go ahead, _said the hag, _ask him._

"What did he say?"

"He said that girls are not dolls. That perfection is an impossible standard to hold a person to."

"Didn't understand a word you said."

"Zuko said that I treat Katara like a perfect doll, literally. That she is not 'all sugar and spice, and everything nice'." He stopped for a moment. "So I tried to, you know, treat her like a girl today. And then she called me fruit."

Toph thought about Sparky alone in his room with all that fire whiskey and the fact that he wasn't drinking any. Moreover, the fact that he had managed to keep his composure all day. You had to give it to the guy, he was almost too good to be true.

"Sparky is a very loyal friend." Toph said slowly. "I sincerely hope that one day you realize how loyal."

Aang was at loss.

"Well, things didn't really go far." He said. "They never do. She's not … she wasn't there. She was somewhere else. And then you just said that I've never paid attention that she may not want me the same way. Why would she be with me if she doesn't love me?"

"Oh, she loves you, there's no doubt."

"We already went through this. I know she loves me, but now I'm not sure if she wants _me_."

"And do you want her?"

"You know I do. I've loved her since the first time I saw her."

"And exactly how many girls had you seen before being awaken from your one hundred year old slumber by charming Sugar Queen?"

"Some. I traveled, I had friends in many places."

"All boys?"

"All boys." He accepted. "But I'd seen girls before. She was the prettiest."

"And that is a very good reason to love someone for the rest of your life. Because she is the prettiest. Good thing about being blind, I don't get distracted by people's looks."

She did not intended to sound sardonic, but there was no way around it.

"It's not only her looks." He said defensively. "She is noble, good, sweet, always thinking about others, and patient. She is not capable of harboring ill will. I've seen her forgive and I know that she will always choose to do the right thing in the end."

Toph was speechless. Sparky was right. Perfection was a very tough standard to keep up to.

"You have it sort out then." She said dismissively. "She will do the right thing at the end and love you back. And you will keep loving her because she is so good, pretty and _perfect._"

Aang turned and laid on his back.

"You make things sound so …" he looked for the right word " … so different. Like they are not what you say they are."

"It's called sarcasm."

"No. It's called honesty." She raised an eyebrow. Maybe in the dark he couldn't see her, but she could feel him in the bed. His graceful shape under the robes. She felt good that for once he wasn't about to run away whimpering because she had been cruel to him. "Why are you smiling, Sifu T?"

She did not realize that she was in effect smiling until he mentioned it.

"Because there may be hope for you yet. First time that you don't run for cover just because I'm in your face."

"I would like you to be more in my face, actually." He said. She thought she heard wrong.

"Really? You were about to run crying to Appa five minutes ago just because I was telling you some uncomfortable stuff, I can't believe you're actually asking for more."

"That's not what I meant."

"What did you mea…" before she could finish the phrase he was kissing her. Deeply. Unashamedly. Definitively, unashamedly. And then she was kissing him back. The way her mind was working right now was simple: _If I am going to be penalized for being a bad girl, I may as well earn it. _ "Yep", said the hag in her head, "that's the attitude. Tarts' United. That should be yours and Katara's logo. _Who is the tramp now?_"Toph could even hear the hag filing her nails while talking to her. She did what she had to do right now, she kicked her out of her head and went back to the kissing. Which started to shift from eager to tender to intense to caring to hungry. Really hungry. Like if they were two teenagers full of hormones and unbridled curiosity. Wait. They _were_ two teenagers full of hormones and, probably, pent up frustration. He moved and suddenly it felt like he was all over. He was grabbing her waist, and her face, and kissing her neck and then kissing her again. What did he say about things never getting heated? The way he was kissing her right now felt like the South Pole was about to melt. Her first conscience started knocking on some door on the back of her brain. Her first conscience was the sober, sane conscience, prone to quote wise sayings and incapable of calling her disparaging names. Well, this conscience started to tell her that certain things tend to go south pretty quickly and that this was after all her friend's fiancé-on-hold.

When he went back to kissing her ears and her neck she said,

"What are you doing?"

"Research." He answered simply, breathing heavily. Her own hands were lost in his robes. She just couldn't find them. She did find other things, though, like his chest and arms.

"What are you studying?" She asked, wondering how many hands he did have, they just felt like too many.

"If it's me." She stopped and he did too when she did. She felt straddling that line between compassion and anger that sometimes came too easily to her. Compassion for all the internal doubts he must be facing, and anger at the fact that she indeed cared.

"It's not you." She assured him cupping his face. "Believe me, it's not. You're great TT, for a vegetarian monk with tiny feet, you're pretty amazing."

He must have realized what he had just said.

"I'm not using you." He said eagerly. "Believe me, I'm not."

She shrugged.

"I'm about to be auctioned in a primitive contest designed as a chastisement for naughty girls. If I'm lucky, I get to die. Actually, I may be using _you._ At least, here I decide what I do and with whom. You may be doing _me_ a favor."

"So, this is you doing tartly things?" She thought it was funny that he remembered what she had said earlier.

"It's customary to commit the crime first, but in this case I am already bearing the punishment so there are no boundaries for my new life as a criminal."

He started kissing her again.

"I'm the Avatar. I can save you."

"No you can't. You can keep trying to help me, though." He laughed his old childish laugh, but his voice was deep and soft as velvet.

"We both can help each other. You can start by telling me about all those colors that you can't see."


	12. Comeuppance

**XII. Comeuppance**

Toph was dreaming. Being blind she didn't really dream in images but in how images felt. She was in the middle of an Earth Rumble Six, she was still the Blind Bandit and the current Champion. She raised the belt over her head when she could feel little chubby earthbenders grappling her legs and skirts, they were trying to reach the belt. "_No_" she said "_This is not a toy_". Then the little chubby kids started flying all over the place and one of them grabbed the belt and started hitting her on the head with it. "_Stop it right now, little airbenders from hell!!_" she screamed in the dream. The pounding continued. She opened her eyes suddenly realizing someone was knocking at her door. She got up from bed, trying to remember the dream. She opened the door, scratching herself, with a yawn.

"Toph!" Katara said in her scolding tone. "Wake up. Everyone is waiting for you. Piandao has been ready with brushes and ink practically since dawn." Toph yawned again. She was still half asleep and went straight to her bed. As soon as her head hit the pillow again a surge of memories came back. Kuei, the trial, the Contest, Sparky, Twinkle Toes… by the Spirits …

TwinkleToes!!

Toph shot up in the bed.

"I don't know where he is, probably with the elders." Katara said. _Had she just said his name aloud?_ Katara was looking for something. "I need to tell Gran-Gran to get you lamps in here. Come, let's go to the washroom, I need to brush your hair and you need to change clothes, these are all wrinkled. You must have been tossing and turning like a maniac last night, look at how rumpled these are" Katara hummed under her breath "By the Moon, Toph, you did chose your clothes by yourself. These pieces really don't match." Katara sighed, considering something. "OK, let's go to my room, I have stuff I can lend you."

Toph was too much on a daze to think.

"No water tribe colors." She said.

"It's OK" Katara said, "I have Earth Kingdom colors. Come on."

Katara led Toph by the hand while all the way the earthbender kept trying to piece together the memories from the night before. She really didn't know for sure when she had fallen asleep, but she did know that she had been making out with Twinkle Toes for quite a while. Making out and talking. He had said things that she wasn't sure she should know about, and that coming from a naturally curious person was saying a lot. Curious, but not gossipy. The upper hand was always in knowing and she just knew things about everybody. But this time it had to do with _confidences _and that was a complete different game. Information you found out because people were careless, was yours. Information freely given to you, always belonged to the owner. Those were the rules. Katara was still talking.

"We need to get this rolling before the initiation of the Contest is announced. Actually, Piandao and Sokka made the flyers to be posted all around the outer village anyway, and they are sending them to all ports in the vicinity. There is no drawing of your face but it mentions your fortune. Actually, it's probably best if you don't see those. You may flip" they got to Katara's room. Toph walked inside still scratching herself. "Stop scratching!" said her friend. Katara picked up stuff, grabbed her by the hand and started walking with her again. "And look at your hair, you probably have more tangles than a sailor's rope" somehow the analogy seemed fitting, but Toph couldn't figure out why "Honestly Toph, you could use some of your society lessons. I will have to fix you up like yesterday."

Toph shook her head.

"Not like yesterday." She said seriously. "Too many … problems yesterday" She made a quick calculation about the previous day. She had gone from sweet-sixteen-never-been-kissed to a smorgasbord of political upheaval, marriage proposals and _Research_. Lot's of research. They reached the bath house and Toph heard Katara bending water in the tub. All her movements were eager and purposeful.

"Are you angry?" Toph asked, not really wanting to know, but needing to know. Katara kept moving.

"Of course not. What makes you think so?"

"You seem full of … energy."

"This is me in the South Pole, pure energy." Toph scratched her head. The hag in the back, who had obviously come back, whispered in her ear. _Ten months of pure energy? this is not the right time for confessions. _

Katara mumbled something about a firebender, and went out to get someone. She came back some time later with Sparky.

"Hi, Champ." He said seeming happy to see her. "You slept until very late today." He bent over the water heating it. Katara was stomping her little feet, impatiently. Toph wanted to remind her that, after all, this was the Crown Fire Prince and Fire-Lord-to-be-in-less-than-a-year doing menial chores as a favor, so some modicum of respect was warranted, but Katara was really too jumpy to risk it. Sparky, on the other hand, seemed oblivious to that fact. Toph wondered how much meditation and firebending practice he had to go through to reach the inner calm he was displaying, knowing as she knew about his misconceptions about the night before. "I still have the chocolates you didn't finish last night." He said casually. "You want them?" Katara little feet stopped.

"What chocolates?" She asked.

"The ones that Toph was eating in my room." He seemed content with the water. "I think is hot enough for you, Champ." He said and she heard him shaking the water from his hand. He came over and kissed her forehead lightly. "See you in a little while. There are already some suitors lining up and we need to plan what to do with them." He turned and left without saying anything to Katara. Katara tried to feign indifference.

"What were you doing in his room last night?" She asked lightly while helping her out of her robes. Toph sank in the bathtub. _Hot enough_? he had no idea. She was alone, with no earth to bend, next to a ten-month-energy-filled waterbender and immersed in a tub full of water. Things could not get worse than this. Really.

"Talking." She said, succinctly. Katara started brushing her hair, with rapid movements.

"About what?"

"The Contest. OUCH!"

"What's his opinion?"

"That the current plan sucks and I'll be put to death by your lot. OUCH! Are you sure you want to do this right now? I only have one head!"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Because you are angry. OUCH! That's it, Unsweetness, LET ME GO!"

Katara stopped. She breathed deeply, and reassumed the brushing with calmer strokes.

"I'm not angry. I'm just tense."

"You don't say." Toph sank back in the water, understanding for the first time in her life Sparky's conflicting musings about atonement. When you feel like you have wronged someone, you also become willing to put up with all their … rubbish. _It's called guilt _said her first conscience, the nice one.

Silence followed. Katara's brushing became less emotional and more soothing.

"Aren't you going to ask me about the goods?" She asked suddenly. Toph thought that what she herself knew about the goods could fill a library, so it was better to shut up. She opted for her airbender tactics.

"Do you want to tell me about the goods?"

"Not really." Katara make a little sound, like biting her lips. "It was a disaster." She said suddenly. Toph thought about how to react. She decided to stay quiet. "A real disaster" Katara continued, while pouring creams or something in her hair. "I called him by the wrong name." Toph tried to act surprised.

"No! Really? Whose name?" Katara stopped and said, suspicion in her voice.

"Did you know about this?"

"How could I?" Toph asked, straight faced. Katara reassumed the brushing.

"I called him …" She stopped and then went forward, "by Zuko's nickname."

"Really? The same nickname you were calling him when you were all over him while drunk?" Katara gasped in horror.

"I called him by that name in front of everybody?"

"Relax. Only in front of Suki and me. You came to your senses, partially, with your brother and Twinkle Toes in the room."

"This is so embarrassing." Katara mumbled.

"The nickname is, I agree. A complete embarrassment." Toph paused for a moment. "What did you tell him after you called him by the wrong name?"

"I didn't say anything. I just told him I was really tired and needed to go to bed." Katara sighed. "Now I am terrified that he's going to ask me what that means. What am I going to tell him?"

"Tell him that it's a fruit." Toph said deadpan.

"You are joking."

"It sounds like a fruit. Tell him that it's from the tropics, and that you have been missing some fresh fruit over here. For ten moths to be precise."

"Are you serious? Is he going to believe such stupid excuse?"

"I am absolutely serious. TT's capability for self deception knows no boundaries. Like yours. Anyway, just follow my lead on this. A kuku is a fruit from warmer climates. Tasty, obviously" she added, maliciously. Katara was still considering the possibility. Toph decided that disaster may have been averted, rinsed her hair and stepped out of the bathtub. Katara helped her dry her hair and get dressed. The clothes were warm and comfortable. By now she didn't care if they were nice like the ones from the day before.

"Do I look like yesterday?" She asked. Katara circled her.

"You look good, but not like yesterday."

"Good. Nice clothes and looking too good obviously mean disaster. I don't know how you do it, being the coveted wench in the group. Now I know why Suki hides behind all that Kyoshi apparel. Self protection."

Katara was amused.

"Thinking about it, my hairdo did protected me." She mumbled to herself. "Probably too much."

They walked toward the main building. At least that's where Toph thought they were going, it was hard for her to figure out her way. They suddenly heard rushing of light feet and Toph's heart jumped. By now, even on bamboo, wood and ice, she could recognize those steps anywhere. Toph felt her cheeks burning, against her will.

"Katara! Toph!" Aang's happy voice reverberated in the corridor. "Look what I got?" He came over and put something in her hands and Katara's. She touched the dry, rough surface.

"What are these?" she asked afraid of the answer.

"Dried plums. Fruit. You said you missed fruit." She thought about killing him right there, but too late. The cat was officially out of the bag. "I tried to get the ones you said you liked a lot, but none of the merchants seem to have heard of it. So I got you the best next thing. Katara, look at this, dried mangoes. Your favorite. So now you don't have to keep thinking about fruit all the time, and eat some instead." He seemed so proud that it was heartbreaking. Katara played with the bag in her hand.

"Fruit." She said slowly. "By any chance, are those fruits that Toph likes so much called kukus?"

"And you too." He said surprised. "You like them too. You were talking about them last night."

She assented and grabbed Toph's arm.

"Aang, you're the best. Thank you." Katara said with her sweetest voice "Always thinking about others. I love fruit. I have been missing fresh fruit very badly for almost a year now, and these are perfect. Now, if you excuse us, Toph and I need to talk about girly stuff."

Toph could barely whisper, "_Thank you TT_", before Katara dragged her by the arm to the closest room with a door.

Toph heard her slam the door and cringed. Out of sheer self preservation she looked for a weapon, anything, and then she remembered her space bracelet. With a swift movement she removed it from her arm and held it in her hand at her back. For some inexplicable reason she remembered something that Captain Yin told her once while training "_If you are going on the offensive, your best ally is always the element of surprise. You lose that, you lose the battle._"

Toph stomped her feet.

"You're on your own woman! I'm through with helping you!"

"Helping me?" Katara was surprised.

"Yes, what do you think was all that about the fruit? Me, saving your neck!"

Katara obviously knew her too well because she did not fall for that one.

"Aha" she said "And why, when and where were you talking to Aang about fruit?"

Toph was silent for a moment.

"Last night." She answered, truthfully. Darn with the guilt, it was making her act weird.

"Was this before or after the chocolates?"

"After"

"And why does Aang come to talk to you about fruit?"

"Well, you know, we are friends. He confides in me."

"So you guys were talking about me last night?"

"Not all the time, no."

"What else did you talk about? This is very private, I cannot believe he told you about it!"

"You did too!"

"It's different! You're my friend! How am I supposed to know that my stuff is safe with you if you talk about things like that with him?"

"Are you nuts? Do you know how many petty, silly secrets I know about _all_ of you? The luck of the blind, I get told everything and what I don't, I usually find out for myself in the worse way. And do you know what I do with the secrets? I KEEP THEM, shut tight, inside!"

"Well" she could hear Katara crossing her arms "I know you. Better than anyone does in the world, actually. You start screaming and attacking when something is bothering you. So, what's eating you up right now? Why didn't _you _tell me that you knew about last night when I brought it up?"

Toph considered her options. Knowing Aang, there was a possibility that he may actually end up confessing everything to Sugar Queen, if they ever managed to move forward in that sui generis relationship of them. And knowing both of them, they were actually capable of ignoring all the bells and whistles of alarm around them, all those voices coming down from the heavens screaming impending doom, and go ahead with their Commitment Ceremony. She did a quick calculation in her head. And decided right there that honesty was the only way she could, and would, deal with her friend. A friendship not capable of withstanding honesty was not worth it. And anyway, she may be dead in a week. _That_ put things in perspective.

"I didn't tell you because…" she bit her lip. "Because I kissed Aang."

Katara was open mouthed.

"You kissed Aang?" she said.

"Yes. As research."

"You…. kissed Aang?" she repeated.

"As research!"

Katara sat down in some piece of furniture. The Water Tribes were not big on furniture, so Toph assumed this was probably a gift from some other nation. It seemed like an earth kingdom chair.

"What kind of research?" she asked finally, after what felt like an eternity. Toph understood that Katara was grappling with a wave of conflicting emotions.

"He wanted to know if he was the problem. _I_ wanted to know if he was the problem too."

Katara was touching something with her fingers. The chair had arms. Weird. She had felt those chairs before. They were available in posh houses, like hers.

"And?" Katara asked. "What was the result of the research?"

"He's not the problem."

"Did you tell him that?" Katara asked, some level of panic in her voice.

"Of course not, what happens in the swamp stays in the South Pole." answered Toph with certainty.

Katara was silent for a moment.

"And how do _you _know he's not the problem? I don't recall you having good parameters of comparison yesterday morning." she asked with shrewdness. Toph made another calculation. In for a pound, in for a pound and a half. She slid closer to the door and assumed a defensive stance.

"When I went for chocolates, I kissed Sparky too."

"You kissed Zuko too?" Katara's voice was really, really surprised and one second away from turning into really, really angry.

"As research, I'm telling you!"

Katara went berserk.

"You kissed _Zuko_?? And you called _me _a hussy?"

"Uh, uh, awkward, meet pain" mumbled Toph.

Years of training with soldiers meant that Toph was always aware of her terrain and her odds of winning a battle. So she quickly bent her bracelet into an impromptu cuff and brought it down on her friend's wrist pinning her to the arm of the chair and … ran. Like hell. Like a blind earthbender on ice about to be followed by a very angry waterbender on ice. "Just as a reminder" she yelled over her shoulder before slamming the door "you should be angry at me for kissing Aang!!"

Toph ran, blindly, along the corridor.

"CLEAR THE AISLES!!" she screamed, making fast calculations of how long it would take Katara to snap out of the manacle with her ice. She could hear her in the back, faintly "_Toph I swear when I am done you are going to welcome being married to Kuei!!"_

She bumped head on with someone. Suki. Thank the Spirits!

"Toph, what's going o…?"

She grabbed her arms, frantically

"Katara knows I kissed Zuko! Ah, and yes, Aang! And she is a waterbender, ON ICE!!"

Suki sprung into action. She clasped Toph's wrist and started running with the girl, like their lives depended on it. Actually, their lives did depended on it so they ran very fast.

"Here!" Suki said, pushing her into a room and then opening a door and pushing her inside. Toph's face hit wood. She felt wood under her feet too, and extending her arms she found herself in a confined space, smelling like dead animals furs. An armoire. Thank the Gods. Well, she knew comeuppance was coming, it always comes at the end, she just didn't expect it so soon.

"Pst" she heard Suki, whispering from the corner of her mouth, her back against the armoire where Toph was hiding "she is going to kill you."

"I know" she was closer to panic now "Moon-doom is here."

"I don't know how to bring this up, but you are either fearless or suicidal. Kissing Aang _and _Zuko? When did that happen?"

"What do you expect?" she whimpered "I'm about to marry the Spirits know who! I wanted to, I don't know, experience life or something. I need to break rules, it's in my nature!! And anyway, what do you expect me to do with all this ice and no earthbending? I needed some entertainment!"

She heard Suki tapping her chin.

"You know, evolution says that people like you need to die" she paused and then added "ideally, before spawning."

"Bah," she dismissed it "look at the Water Tribes. By evolution standards, _they_ all should be extinct."

"Uh, uh" Suki mumbled, "If I want to be a part of this team, I _must_ start kissing other boys soon."

"Forget Aang and Zuko." Toph answered honestly "Those two are _overused._"

They remained there for some minutes.

'I don't hear anything." Said Suki. "You know what, you wait here. By all means don't move from here until I tell you that's safe to do so. Let me find Katara and talk to her first. I'll come to get you when the coast is clear."

"OK" mumbled Toph from deep within the closet. She curled up and tried not to go crazy from the wait. Before long, she heard voices coming into the room. A door slammed. She heard Katara's voice and she sounded furious. The other voice was unmistakably Sparky's. Toph's jaw dropped. It was official. Fate hated her. Somehow she had managed to offend the Goddess of Destiny and the deity was doing everything in her power to get even. It had to be, because how else would the Universe explain that from all the joints in this place, these two had to walk right into hers?

"So …" Katara was saying, and she could imagine her in his face. He was probably sweating. Katara _always _made him sweat. "Everyone is fair game now? You feed me all that garbage about your honor and you kissed Toph? I have no claim over you I know but, for the moon, behind Mai's back? WHERE WAS YOUR PRECIOUS HONOR WHEN YOU WERE FEELING UP MY INNOCENT 16 YEAR OLD FRIEND?" _Innocent? Is that how she sees me?_ "What you did is probably illegal, somewhere!!"

"I DID NOTHING ILLEGAL!!" he yelled back "And I DID NOT feel Toph up! She is like my sister, for Agni's sake!"

"SO YOU GOT FRISKY WITH AZULA TOO? I knew royalty practiced weird customs, but this is beyond…" he must have done something dramatic, like grabbing her or something, because she suddenly went silent.

"Stop" he said and even though he was not yelling, the hardness of this voice _felt _like he was "Stop. Right Now. Don't make me regret _you._"

"_Me? _Regret _me_? Welcome to my world Zuko, it is full of the most heart crunching _regret_" her voice was pure venom, and Toph could not imagine what was he doing, but knowing Sparky's short fuse and merciless temper, he was probably shaking her or something. Well, maybe not _that, _but he was definitively grabbing her by the arms.

"I DID NOT do what you are implying. I would NEVER do that. Can't you see what's happening to me? You are marrying someone else, visiting him late in his rooms, and even _then_ you keep me on a tight leash? I have the _right_ to know if I can move on. So Agni help me, if I have to kiss every woman from here to the North Pole to _move on,_ I will!"

Katara sobbed. _Yep, that's Katara alright. True to her element every freaking time: let's open the waterworks! _

"What about me?" she said "What do you think is happening to me? What do you think happens every time Aang kisses me? Don't you know that _every time _I try to move on? But I'm still stuck! Stuck on you!"

She heard Katara pounding weakly on his chest, probably with her fists. Silence followed that declaration. There was some noise, though, and Toph knew that by now he was probably kissing her very hard. And for the feeling of the conversation, she was probably kissing back as hard. By now, Toph was also getting used to the dynamics of the Kuku-Tara relationship: some screaming, some trip-back-down-memory-lane, some crying, some kissing and then back to square one, where he will be sputtering some honor nonsense and she will be getting more frustrated by the minute, declare herself physically incapable of hurting Aang, and then will go back to the idea of marrying the guy. Toph could picture these two in ten, maybe even twenty years from now doing exactly the same thing. An entire lifetime of adultery and regret, meeting in dark corners and having, probably, lip-biting, passionate foot massages. _Good luck explaining why Aang's little airbenders can't fly!, _she thought, _Yep, right there with explaining why baby Gyatso just burned his crib._

By now, the next step in the routine was due. She counted. _One, two, three, he should be stopping now and quoting his honor. _True to form, she heard Zuko.

"Katara, what are we going to do? How I am going to restore my nation's honor if I can't keep my hands from you?"

"I don't know. I can't think. I can't. I have missed you so much. You understand me like no one does. You don't think I am this goody-goody person, you know how resentful, how implacable I can be, and you accept me as I am"

"I don't want you to change. Ever. I don't want you to stop being selfish or bossy or proud. I am so very bad at being good, that you being this closeted evil person makes all the sense in the world to me" his voice was breathy and kept making weird pauses, so Toph understood that he was probably kissing Katara while he was speaking. Kissing her the Spirits knew where, because the voice was coming from here, and there, and over there.

"You missed me?" he was asking. Her breath was ragged.

"Your voice, your hands, your skin."

"I don't care that you are not good" his voice was like _everywhere. How on earth does he manage? _"What am I saying? I _don't _want you to be good."

Toph kept expecting the kissing to end and the entire "_I can't do this_" thing to start again, but this time it was not stopping. Toph counted again. Nope, no stopping. And then, he said

"Come, let's remove the pain. No more lies, nothing like that between us."

"Nothing happened last night" she said, her voice no more than a whisper.

"Nothing?" his voice was muffled. She then laughed.

"You are going to burn my dress."

"If you really like it, then you better act fast, because I am not stopping."

Toph considered her options. One was certain death at Katara's hands. The other was certain death from embarrassment at listening to the reconciliation. And something told her (may be the experience derived from all those dim-witted romance scrolls) that this type of reconciliation would be time-consuming and privacy-oriented. Lots of time and lots of privacy, and her in the armoire was not in the ideal situation. But also by now Toph was getting _really _tired of hiding in the smelly armoire. What were Bumi's teachings again? Retreat, attack, stay neutral? There was a fourth one: flee. Like Right Now.

Toph opened the armoire and jumped outside. She heard gasps from both of them. She raised her hands in a placating gesture.

"I am blind." She reminded them. " I can't see what you two look like right now, nor do I care. I guess you forgave Sparky, so please send your evil alter ego back to the closet and forgive me. Just this time. He is telling the truth. He barely kissed me and then accused me of being his little sister. There is no moving from little-sisterhood-doom, so relax. Also, I didn't like it" that was a lie, but Katara did not know that. "And Sparky didn't either. You see, he is branded. By you. OK, that will be all. Continue with your, er, ceasefire. Bye!!" she did not wait for any response and fled. They were probably too aghast to say anything. "_Ah Yin",_ she accepted nodding, while running toward freedom, "_nothing like the element of surprise." _

* * *

_Something interesting is happening to me with this my first fanfiction: I have more story alerts than reviews. Is that a good thing? I do appreciate suggestions or critiques if someone has any :-) _


	13. Getting to know the suitors, Part I

**XIII. Getting to know the suitors, Part I.**

After running until she could not hear anything anymore, Toph stopped. She then walked aimlessly, wondering what was next and where was she supposed to go. She had no idea where the rest of her friends were, or what they were doing. Being in one piece was enough for now. She found a door and stepped out to a freezing breeze. She breathed the fresh air.

"Wow." She thought. "This place is cold, horrid and smells like fish. Who would live here _voluntarily_?" She was distracted by voices.

"But the poster says that five thousand gold pieces go to the winner!" some guy with a whiny voice was saying.

"Yes, it says that, but check the small print man, I'm telling you, always check the small print: that's extra on top of having to marry some earthbender lass. I mean, how desperate can they be that they are offering all this money?"

"Maybe she's … ugly?"

"Ugly is easy. I can do ugly. Some warts, some missing teeth, I can handle that. But five thousand gold pieces sounds to me like ugly _and_ mean. These are rich people trying to dump this wench on someone, it sounds to me like we are dealing with major, bloodcurdling meanness here."

"Aren't the Bei Fongs like the richest people in the known world?"

"Wow, you are right. They are."

"Hey, where are you going?"

"To sign myself up. With the Bei Fongs, five thousand is the down payment. I can do ugly, mean and smelly if the Bei Fongs are backing this up."

Toph stood there unmoved in more than one sense. She then decided to go back inside. Obviously, the suitor situation would not be a problem anymore. She wondered if she should have told Sokka that technically, she didn't have any money. All the family riches were controlled by her dad and she was not supposed to see a copper piece until she was twenty five. Some ridiculous provision drafted by, of course, her parents vampire-turned-attorney. She wondered what would happen if any of those guys won the Contest. She then shrugged the idea. She was not marrying anything or anyone that may win that Contest. She was supposed to die first, and unless Twinkle Toes managed to get her a reprieve, she would be dying for real.

"Toph!" a shrilly scream made her jump. She knew that voice, there was no mistaking that voice. "Look at you! You are so grown up and everything!" Someone embraced her and then, "But look at your aura, is so bright and green! It used to be yellow with gray polka dots, what happened?"

"Ty-Lee." She said sotto-voice. "Nice to see you."

"But you can't see!" The warrior said happily. "What's this I'm hearing about you marrying the Earth King? It's so cool, you're going to be Queen and everything and when Mai becomes Fire Lady is like all my friends will be married to important guys!"

Toph thought about the loose use of the word _friend. _

"Mai is going to be Fire Lady?" she asked instead, seriously.

"Well, it's all over the Fire Nation. She send me a letter about it and everything."

"Sparky proposed before coming here?"

"He must have. There is no reason for Mai to tell me that she will be Fire Lady next year unless they are, you know, getting married."

Layer-cake, thought Toph. This is a freaking layer-cake, with layer upon layer of messy stuff and crappy filling in the middle just for flavor.

"So," She asked, needing to know "How long have Sparky and Sun… , sorry, Mai been engaged?"

"A couple of weeks, maybe. They got back together just before he came over here. Actually, I think it was the only reason why she took him back, because he proposed."

Toph thought about Mai.

"So, she took back a guy that dumped her twice, first by letter and then by express singing courier(+) after over a year of not seeing him, just because he proposed?"

(+) _She should know, she was the one who proposed the idea to him one Music Night when they were out in the middle of nowhere, and he had been whining about his relationship under the influence of fire whiskey. The terrible part was that he had taken her seriously and next morning, when everybody was drinking the Chaser they realized that Private Lee was missing, on his way to the Fire Nation to sing the break up message to Mai. Toph wondered what would happen if Mai ever found out that she had been the one who dictated the message. She couldn't remember the lyrics well, but there was something on the lines of:_

"_Took us a long time to give Z a positive outlook on life. We don't want to see our hard work down the drain. Motivation is not a four letter word, oooaaaahhh, ooooaaahhhh." _

_All of that to the catchy beat of a Sunghi Horn and a pair of maracas that she shoplifted somewhere back on Ember Island. Private Lee survived to tell the tale, but he would still cry if someone mentioned Mai's name in front of him. Toph made a mental note of getting Bumi to grant political asylum to Lee, in case Mai ever became Fire Lady for real._

"Well," Ty-Lee said, "Yeah. What's wrong with that? I thought it was so romantic and everything!"

Toph thought about the scene she had just walked out from.

"So, my Circus warrior friend" she asked "How long does it take for a letter to arrive from here to the Fire Nation?"

"Toph!!" Suki's voice brought her back to reality. She felt the other warrior running to her. "Are you OK?" before Toph could answer, Suki gave Ty Lee a commanding order.

"Ty-lee, go and gather the other warriors. We're going to need reinforcements." Ty-Lee saluted and left with a "Sir, yess, sir!". Toph was impressed. From one Captain to another, she made a slight bow towards Suki. Suki, however, grabbed her by the arm and started walking dragging her and talking in hush-hush tones.

"When I went to get Katara, she had already broken a chair. I went looking for you, but the door to the room where I left you was locked."

"Yeah, I'm OK. Look, I'm alive."

"Yes, but what I mean is, I don't know where Katara is. She may be looking for you right now."

"No, she isn't. I already saw her. She forgave me."

"Really? So soon? Well, this is good I guess. Everybody is waiting for you. Let's go. I'm still supposed to find Zuko, and for the look of this, Katara as well."

"I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for them." Toph mumbled. Suki froze. She stopped and turned to Toph.

"Really?" She then lowered her voice in typical warrior stealth fashion. "Do we need to perform an intervention?"

Toph thought about them again and how she had left them.

"Do you have a crowbar with you by any chance?"

"No."

"Then don't bother."

They walked in silence to a room where assorted people were meeting. Toph walked into the room with her chin high. She could hear the conversations, Sokka sounded excited.

"The list is huge!" he was saying. His dad was less enthusiastic.

"Sokka," Hakoda said seriously. "Getting a bunch of low-lifes to participate is not going to make the Contest less dangerous. I know you want to make Kuei back down, but this will probably have the opposite effect."

"Can I reject any of the suitors?" Toph asked.

"No, you can't. It's customary, though, for the suitors to be introduced to you. They can back down voluntarily, but you cannot reject them."

She thought about this.

"So, if I like a suitor I convince him to stay, if I dislike him I convince him to walk away." She said aloud. It was not a question, it was a statement. "I like this!" She said honestly. "Besides earthbending, is the most entertaining thing I've done in a while." She careful left out the entertainment value of the activities from the previous night.

Everyone seemed to turn to her.

"Are you saying that you want to know the suitors?" Someone asked walking towards her. Aang. She assented.

"Of course I do. I may end up marrying one of these guys, so I may as well start acting like a nag now."

She felt Aang getting upset next to her.

"No one will force you into marriage." He said with the same fervor Sparky spoke to her the night before.

She turned to him and wondered. She then shook her head. She had no experience (unlike other people around her) about juggling guys or doing things in the dark that were not to be talked about during daytime. Well, she was always in the dark, so _that_ right there killed the analogy. Re-phrasing, she was not in the habit of doing things at night that she would not be able to discuss in the morning. And as far as she knew, he didn't either. So she wondered if their daytime relationship would be affected by this. Katara and Zuko's had and it hadn't. It was really difficult to explain. The latent electricity between them was always there, had always been there, but it shifted. From antagonistic to (what was Suki's word?) elated to sad to yearning. Sometimes, it would flick and shift through all of these emotions within the same hour. Sometimes too, it was hard to be around all that electricity. She knew that Suki could feel it too. And lately, their yearning had been so thick that it felt like a contagious disease, an inner craving that was starting to seep through all of them and was making them do crazy things. Like kissing friends at night with lips full of nostalgia. She shook her head again.

"_What's with that?" _The hag complained, "_Are you going all sissy and touchy-feely on me now?_"

"It's OK, Twinkle Toes." She said with a shrug. "I know you will put in a good word for me with the Spirits. But we need to go through this now. OK!" She said aloud. "Who has the list?"

The list turned out to be a surprise.

There were people in the list she had never heard of, but some of the names were a complete shocker. Besides Kuei, she knew Captain Yin, Jeong-Jeong, the Pebble, and … _June the bounty hunter? _

"Is that allowed?" She asked. Hakoda answered.

"There's nothing that specifically prohibits it, so I guess it's allowed."

"What's June doing in the South Pole?" asked Toph aloud, and she heard Fire Lord Pops coughing behind her. "Don't bother, I think I know." She muttered. Sokka continued reading the list.

"Who are Colonel Mongke and the Rough Rhinos?" He asked.

"It's a special task group that served under me back during my Ba Sing Se days" Fire Lord Pops said. "They are very … interesting." He finished, lamely, obviously at a loss for words for once in his lifetime.

"Can they enter as a team?" Toph asked. "I didn't know that teams were allowed."

Hakoda took the list from Sokka's hand.

"Actually, I'm not sure." He said, and she imagined him frowning his brow.

"There's nothing that prohibits it." Master Pakku, next to Hakoda, said. "So I guess it's allowed."

Toph threw her hands in the air.

"Are there any rules in this stupid contest? Seems to me that nothing that is not specifically forbidden is automatically allowed. So what's forbidden?"

Uncomfortable silence gave her the answer. Before anyone said anything, she assented sadly.

"Let me guess, the only thing prohibited in this Contest is for me to say no."

"Basically" Sokka said "that's sums it up."

"So, what are the Rough Rhinos going to do with me, marry me all and divide me by the days of the week?" She asked in wonder. She heard some gasps of horror.

"No" Hakoda said firmly. "Only one winner can have your hand. I guess Colonel Mongke as the leader is the one who marries you, if they win. The rest …" He stopped. "I don't know what happens with the rest. You see my child, there is no precedent for any of this."

Pakku was solemn when he spoke.

"This Contest is usually between two, three suitors at the most, all of them from the Water Tribes and all of them known to the maiden. We really have not precedent for what's going on right now."

Toph put her hands behind her head.

"I was born for this. To break all the rules of a Contest with no rules." She turned to Aang. "Hey T.T., Did you by any chance meet the Goddess of Fate when you were in the Spirit world?"

"No, why?"

"Need to talk to her." _Need to ask her, seriously, what did I do. _She could picture herself groveling pretty hard, because Fate was coming after her with vengeance.

The rest of the list was unremarkable, except for a guy whose name was unreadable because the ink was all smudged and wet.

"I saw that guy putting his name down." Suki said. "He foams at the mouth."

"Eeewww!" Sokka yelled, dropping the list. "Mouth foam on the list! I need to wash!" He ran out of the room.

Toph cracked her knuckles.

"OK." She said happily. "I'm ready to start meeting my suitors."

The first one to come into the room was the Pebble. Toph, who was sitting demurely on her ankles, in the middle of the room, with Suki and Aang at either side, and the rest of the group behind her, crossed her arms.

"Of all the brainless things you have done since we left Gaoling, Pebble, putting your name on that list is the tops."

"The Boulder feels conflicted that his little earthbending friend is going to be hand out in marriage to anyone, out there." He said bombastically. "The Boulder cannot allow that to happen. The Boulder promised Master Lao Bei Fong that he would watch over the Blind Bandit like a hawk."

"Pebble, if you put your name in that list, that means that you get to participate in the Contest. And if, by some miracle, you win _you _get to marry me. Get it? _You._"

She could feel his fear.

"The Boulder," he said, panic in his voice, "is not ready for marriage."

"I know. So, be a good boy and scratch your name _voluntarily _from the list. If you have any doubts, you think about it: you and me in the Earth Kingdom, married."

That did the trick. His name was off the list with so much speed that the paintbrush was smoking afterwards.

The next one was Captain Yin. She actually respected Yin, and she knew that his wife had passed away relatively recently, leaving him with two kids and a broken heart.

"Yin" she said nicely "What's this?"

"Master Bei Fong." He said seriously, "The guys and I had a talk. We all think that you need a friend out there, in this Contest, fighting for your hand. You should at least have the chance that one of the participants may care for you."

She raised her eyebrows.

"And you got the short ended stick?" She asked in surprise.

"No, Master. I volunteered."

She felt deeply moved. He was honest and honorable, like a little version of Sparky.

"Yin, I'm moved beyond words. I know this is a sacrifice for you. You have young children, you cannot risk your life for me. I know I'm a fellow soldier, and that you would do the same for any guy in your team, but I'm not defenseless. I've the Avatar, the Fire Prince, the most fearsome waterbender, her brother and the head of the Kyoshi warriors all around to protect me." She bowed deeply, her fist against the base of her open palm. "I'm honored to have served under you. Please remove your name from the list, voluntarily."

He seemed doubtful and then got closer and mumbled very low, so only she could hear.

"Chin says that if things get really tough and you end up marrying any of the participants, that Fire Nation laws are the only ones that allow for couples to separate and reverse their vows. For seven copper pieces he can do the paperwork for you. Don't lose your Fire Nation citizenship."

She assented and mumbled from the corner of her mouth.

"Tell Chin to keep hiding for now. I'll send word."

Captain Yin saluted and scratched his name from the list.

"I'm on a roll!" she said happily. The next one to enter the room was Kuei. Followed by an army of courtiers, attorneys, and advisors. The only ones missing were the Dai Li, who she sincerely hoped by now had taken over the kingdom and depose the moron.

"What do you want?" She asked aggressively, and then, with hope: "Are you taking your name of the list?"

"No." He said calmly. "I wanted to ask you if Bosco is the problem."

She opened her mouth like a fish, flabbergasted.

"Kuei," She said slowly and earnestly. "Bosco is so _not _the problem. Let me put it this way, I'll marry Bosco before I'll marry you. Does that clarifies the issue for you?"

He sounded really peppy now.

"If that's the case, then _underline_ my name on the list." He told Hakoda happily.

Toph slapped her forehead.

"I just encouraged him again, didn't I?" she asked aloud. Aang touched her fingers with his, and she blushed again.

"You did, Sifu T." He said honestly. "You just told him that he gets to keep his pet if you guys marry."

Kuei was turning away, so she had to say this before he left.

"Kuei, if you win my hand in this Contest," She called after him, crossing her arms. "I vow on my ancestors that that's the only thing you will win. My hand. The rest of me, look at it very hard because it's the last time you will see it." She thought hard about something hurtful to say, "And believe me, I'll raise iguana-birds before raising your children."

Kuei breathed deeply, without turning.

"I wish there was a different way to court you." He said sadly, and left.

After Kuei left, there were some noises, some rustle of people and Suki whispered in her ear:

"Katara just came through the door."

Toph felt Katara walking to where she was. Aang stood up and gave his seat to Katara, standing at the back with Sokka and the rest.

"I can feel you are flushed." Toph said evenly, when her friend sat next to her.

"And I can see you are alive with no missing parts." She answered, equally calm. "I wouldn't push my luck if I were you."

"Fair enough." Silence, and then, "Less tense, I hope?"

"A bit."

"Guilt?"

"Horribly."

"Happy?"

"Very."

"Truce?"

"Here is your bracelet." Katara put the metal in Toph's hand and they both knew that the crisis had passed. "What are we doing?" Katara then asked, leaning over. Suki answered.

"Toph is convincing suitors she cares about to scratch their names from the list. She is doing well."

Katara was aghast.

"So, you are only leaving participants that you _don't like_?"

Toph assented.

"That's the idea. Death needs to look like a good alternative to move the Spirits."

She suddenly felt Katara perking up. As if her entire body abruptly came to life and vibrated. Suki mumbled on her ear:

"Zuko just entered the room." Toph nodded. It figures.

The next name on the list was Jeong-Jeong. That was a mystery to her.

"So, Master" she asked cautiously "Why are you on the list?"

"I need the money." The deserter said simply. Toph thought about this hard.

"OK!" She said happily. "You can stay in the contest!"

Katara and Suki gasped.

"What are you doing? That guy is like old, and creepy!" Katara asked hurriedly. "He may be White Lotus but he's creepy anyway."

Toph shrugged.

"He needs the money and he's Fire Nation. If he wins, and I hope he does, I can paid him off to repudiate me."

The girls were impressed.

"Wow!" They said. "You are like an earth king, a mad genius."

"I know."

Some other guys that she did not know came into the room. She would let Katara and Suki give her the description and then she would do two things: either tell the suitor that the reward was a lie, that there was no money, or she would not say anything and let the guy choose for himself. Usually, they would scratch themselves from the list at the notice that there was no money, or she would play the helpless blind girl and mention aloud that she was disabled and condemned to a life of, well, disability.

After an hour of that, the friends grew tired and someone asked for a recess for lunch. Katara immediately stood up, excused herself and left. Suki said something about eating and Toph decided to go with her. Once outside the room they started walking. Sokka was talking about how some Earth Kingdom immigrants had opened a bakery at the South Pole and how the entire outer village was changing thanks to people willing to build a life here. Toph half heard the conversation. Suddenly, she remembered her bracelet. She had left it in the session room.

"Wait for me here, guys!" She said. "I'll be back in a minute."

She ran back to the room and found her bracelet where she had left it. She was becoming better at orienting herself on wood and ice. Which was good. On the way back, she passed next to a door, and then stopped. She could hear muffled sounds.

"_What if someone comes looking for us?"_

"_We are in a closet. Who looks for people in closets?"_

"_I can't believe we are doing this again."_

"_Again today or in our lives?"_

"_Both."_

"_Regrets?"_

"_Goodness gracious, not right now, no!"_

Toph shook her head. When she met with her friends, Sokka suddenly asked.

"Have you seen my sister?"

"She is at the bakery." She answered without missing a beat.

"At the bakery?" Sokka scratched his head. "What's she doing at the bakery?"

"Stuffing herself with fruit." She answered flatly. "Are we eating or not?"

0o0o0o0o

After lunch, they were supposed to go back to meet the rest of the suitors, as the Contest was scheduled to open the next morning. Toph did not feel like meeting anymore guys. She decided that if they wanted to participate and kill themselves for five thousand gold pieces, they could do so. She really did not care.

So, she snuck out from Aang, Sokka and Suki's gaze, (Katara and Zuko probably testing the soundproofing capabilities of every broom closet in the South Pole) and walked the other way. She did not know where she was going, but soon found herself in what felt like a wide open space.

"Hey!" A soft voice, like a purr, said behind her. She turned. She would have recognized that voice immediately, but the smell was what gave the person away before speaking. It was a powerful smell, a mixture of flowers (gardenias, maybe?), musk and alcohol. Probably very high quality fire whiskey.

"What's up bounty hunter?" Toph said calmly. "I heard your name is in the list." She felt the woman coming closer, and circling her slowly. Like a cat. Toph felt a prick on her neck. The woman must be looking at her intensely.

"It is." The woman answered. "Five thousand gold pieces is a lot of money."

"Yep" Toph said, "but you should have read the small print. The prize includes marriage, er, to me. I'll bet that's a surprise."

"Not really." June said, still circling. "You have certainly grown up since last time I saw you. A lot."

Toph shifted on her feet. And put her hands on her hips.

"So?" She asked defiantly. "You mean you are entering this Contest knowing that I am part of the winnings?"

"Yes." June said, her deep sexy voice dripping honey. "Why are you so surprised? There is nothing wrong with fighting for the hand of little pretty girls loaded with money."

"There are so many things wrong with that picture that I need five abacus to finish the count." Toph retorted.

June was unfazed. Toph felt the tips of the woman's fingers tracing her cheek and now she was really too surprised to react.

"I _always_ had a soft stop for sassy little girls." June said. _Was June doing the husky thing?_

"Are you doing the husky thing?" Toph asked frowning. June chuckled, a deep throaty laugh.

"Why? Do you like the husky thing?" June asked and Toph felt sudden alarm.

"This is about my money, isn't?" She demanded. Suddenly, it was very important that it was about the money. And _only _about the money.

"If you say so." June said, and then, almost soothingly, she added while openly caressing her cheek. "The money is an added perk."

"Oh the Spirits!!" Toph turned and ran, screaming, "Katara, Suki!!"

0o0o0o0o0

Toph was sitting in the middle of a room surrounded by Aang, Suki, Sokka, Katara and Zuko, who had finally reappeared. Aang was at her side and Katara was sitting on her other side, her arm around Toph's shoulders.

"You know," Toph said slowly, a cup of hot fire whiskey in her hand, shaking "I think June was trying to … _seduce me._"

"Seduce you? How?" the interest in Sokka's voice was almost unnerving.

"I mean, like seduce-seduce me." Toph contained a shudder, and felt Katara's hand helping her push the cup to her mouth. She drank the whiskey. "She said that it was not only about the money. That the money was a _perk."_

Silence hung in the room for a moment. Then, Zuko said:

"Well, I thought it was obvious to all of us that June like girls."

"She does?" Toph gulped, panic really setting in. "I thought she was here with Pops."

"She is," Zuko said "But you know how it is with uncle, he doesn't really judge other people's … choices."

The silence that followed told her something else. Something not being said.

"Why are you all so quiet? What's going on?" She resorted to the infallible, she elbowed Aang.

"Ouch!" He said, rubbing his ribs. "Well, we didn't know that you would react _so_ _against _it." He answered, cautiously.

"What do you mean?" She heard shuffle of feet, and could imagine that they were all looking at each other and at the floor. "Katara, what does Twinkle Toes mean?" She was trying not to yell.

"Well," Katara's voice was very sweet. "Toph, honey, we all thought that you may, ahem, welcome June's advances. You know, that you may be _interested_ in the possibility."

"Wait." Realization finally sunk in. _And you thought you were the sharp one_, the hag said. "Wait, are you guys saying that you all thought that _I am_ into alternative choices? Like Haru??" She stood up, trembling. "What's wrong with you all?" Several voices jumped at the same time.

"But Toph!" Suki said "you are our friend, we just want your happiness!"

and Zuko "You know we won't stop liking you just because you are different!"

and Katara "But Toph, you always seemed so _militarily_ oriented!"

and even Sokka "We love you anyway, and if you let us watch, we will love you even more!" She heard Suki slapping him hard. "Ouch! Whaa??"

She turned to Aang.

"And you" She was very angry now, even though she wasn't exactly sure why. "You've been what? Playing the 'detached airbender' thing while thinking all the time that I am into girls??" She stopped for a second. "Not that there is anything wrong with that." She felt obligated to add, before turning towards all of them. "Why no one said anything, ever? Were you expecting me to show up with a girlfriend one of these days?"

Silence followed, so she knew that it was exactly what they had been expecting.

"I hate you." She said, and it required all her self control for her voice not to break. "All of you." She stomped her feet, but nothing happened. Ice, bamboo and wood. Freaking, freaking ice. She grabbed the fire whiskey bottle. "I'm leaving!!" she yelled and left the room.

0o0o0o0o0

Katara and Suki found her hunched in the armoire. Lately, the stupid smelly armoire was becoming like her second house.

"But Toph" Katara said from outside the door, when Toph slammed it back in her face. "You need to understand that none of us can see things as clearly as you do. We get confused. We were just trying to respect your space."

Suki added, honest apologies in her voice.

"You never seemed to be into boys that much. Always hanging out with all those soldiers and not once getting involved with anyone."

"They fear me too much." Toph said with a sigh, that was almost a controlled sob. She suddenly opened the door, almost hitting the two girls in the face with it. "You should have known!" She screamed at Katara. "Weren't you like the resident hot chick of the group or something? If I was into girls, I'd have been trying to feel you up!!"

"You did feel me up! In Suki's room, remember?"

"Aaaarrgghh!! That doesn't count! I was taking measurements!!" She slammed the door shut again.

At the end, it took the five of them to come over and beg for forgiveness before she was willing to leave the armoire. They had to promise to refer to her as Great Master and Champion Extraordinaire Who is Absolutely Not into Girls (not that there is anything wrong with that) plus each had to pledge to be her slave for one day, date of payment to be decided sometime in the future. She then left the armoire, bottle of fire whiskey in hand, and temper very, very short.

* * *

_A/N: I need to put a disclaimer here: Any similarities between my story and BurningIce's 'Midsummer Madness' are truly and purely coincidental. She says that great minds think alike, which I hope is true because of the greatness factor, of course. We're calling a medium to check the 'tuning'. _:-)


	14. Getting to know the suitors, Part II

_This is the most amazing thing, Gabzilla drew some beautiful fan art for this fic. Please go an check it out or click in my profile for the links _

_This one is based on chapter 8, the boob scene. She made it so funny! _

http : / / gabzillaz dot deviantart dot com / art / Avatar-crack-AMoH-Measures-95741471

_And this one, which is based on Taang's (oh so needed) Research. She made it SWEET and SMEXY! _

http : / / gabzillaz dot deviantart dot com / art / Taang-kiss-1-95108706

_I feel like a proud mama-hen! _

_THANK YOU GABI!! _

**

* * *

****XIV. Getting to know the suitors, Part II.**

That night, at dinner, Toph was pensive. Her friends had forgo the State dinner that was being held in the main hall, particularly because Toph did not want to be near Kuei. Everyone, except Aang could delegate his or her duties to keep her company, but he was the only airbender and the only Avatar, so he had to attend the dinner-meeting. He almost threw one of his old tantrums, but before he could get in his stubborn stance, Katara sent him packing, reminding him of his duties. He left mumbling something on the lines that he would be back soon.

Toph remained lost in thought, her head in her hand, her half eaten food in front of her, partially listening to the others.

"What's up with you Zuko?" Sokka was asking "You've been almost smiling all afternoon. You look weird."

"You think so?" Suki asked. Toph heard her kicking Zuko hard under the table, and his muffled _ouch_! "Nope, he looks to me as unhappy as always. Aren't you Zuko? Because right now, _there are no reasons to be happy._"

She heard Zuko nod.

"None whatsoever." He said gravely. "I'm as gloomy as usual."

Next to Toph, Katara gushed.

"Look at him," She said in a very low voice. "He's so miserable always." She sounded delighted. "He melts my heart."

"Woman," Toph mumbled "You are so far gone that we will be sending a search party for you soon."

Sokka was in pondering mood, too.

"I wonder what the tasks are going to be." He asked aloud.

"You mean the Contest's tasks?" Suki asked "Who decides them?"

"Well, the elders of the Tribes. I'll bet dad, Arnook, Pakku, Gran-Gran, Yaguda, and probably the entire White Lotus clan are in the Task Committee."

"Are these tasks supposed to be as horrible as they sound?" Zuko asked. He was sitting across the table from Katara and Toph, and she could _feel _the glances. It had to do with Katara's body temperature and heartbeat, and how every time one of them moved, the other one seemed to quiver in response. Toph wondered if pheromones were contagious, like cooties.

"Well, past Contests included answering riddles, hunting rabid leopard-seals and a matching duel to the death between the contestants, with only a boomerang and a spear." Suki shuddered.

"It sounds awful." She said.

Zuko seemed less offended.

"It's not worse than Fire Nation's customs. We have Agni Kai's and historically, there was something akin to this Contest. It was practiced on top of rhinos and the suitor that dismounted the other first, had the right to wear the colors of his lady and to woo her."

"That's sound more civilized." Suki said. She then paused. "Wait, the colors of the lady? I thought the Fire Nation was color-limited."

"Yeah, usually red, black and gold. It was hard to know which lady was it that gave the suitor her color. But the main difference with here is that it only gave the right to woo her, not to claim her."

"Yeah, that's the problem with this Contest," accepted Sokka, "once Kuei requested it, he had the right to claim Toph as his own. If no one challenges him, he claims her. If he wins, he claims her anyway."

"What's with the claiming?" Toph exclaimed exasperated "Am I like lost luggage in the Ba Sing Se ferry or something?" She started waiving her arms "Hey you, here, here claim me!"

(Part of her chagrin was that in the romance scrolls there was always a lot of claiming involved. There were two favorite verbs in those scrolls: "take" and "claim". They sounded so sexy in the scrolls "_he claimed her as his_", "_he took her_" usually in some romantic smexy landscape, like a beach or a hot spring. Whomever wrote those scrolls never spend a vacation in the South Pole, did not have Kuei as a fiancee and never had to deal with attorneys. She was starting to hate those two verbs.)

"I think you are losing your cool about this." Sokka said cautiously.

"I am so freaking far away from cool that I'm firebending right now." She snapped. "If you don't cut it with the claiming, I'm going Azula on you!"

Katara had to intervene.

"No need to insult family members" she said softly, putting her hand in Toph's arm. "Sokka, Zuko, I think Toph needs some time to relax. I'm taking her with me to my room to help her unwind a little." Katara stood up, tugging at her arm. "Come on Toph."

Toph stood up, her brow knitted.

"I'm bringing the fire-whiskey with me." She said defiantly. Suki seemed doubtful. She suddenly stood up and kissed Sokka.

"I'm going with them." She said hurriedly. "I'll see you later, OK?"

Before leaving the room, Toph felt obligated to turn.

"Sparky, I'm happy for your gloominess. Seriously. But you should send notice to the Fire Nation about how wretched things are over here. If I were you, I would write a letter. Today."

Toph grabbed Katara's arm and left the room.

0o0o0o0o0

Back in Katara's room the three friends were back to the beginning. Drinking and watching the fire. Again, at least two of them were.

"So, Katara" this time it was Suki the one who breached the topic openly. "Are you telling Aang?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"Tonight, after he's back from his State-dinner."

"Good." mumbled Toph under breath, "Hopefully you and Zuko can be open about this and I won't be scared stiff of dark corners anymore."

"Tonight might not be a good idea" Suki said. "I think Toph here needs company. Leave it for tomorrow. After the Contest starts, we are all going to be too busy and Aang will welcome the distraction."

Katara considered this.

"I just don't like feeling like a liar." Toph snorted. "Whatever you may say, I don't enjoy it." She insisted.

Toph nodded.

"Actually, I know. So, what's Sparky going to do with Sunshine?"

"I don't know. We haven't talked about it." Katara said slowly "He said once that the last two occasions they broke up were unfortunate. Mai deserves better. I don't know what he is going to do. We haven't really planned anything. But I know that _I_ cannot continue like this. I need to face this, because it's consuming _me_."

"They have been so busy with their reconciliation that they haven't had the time to talk" Toph informed Suki. Katara for once did not correct her or scold her. She was thoughtful.

"Toph" she said, "I need to ask you."

Toph brazed herself. _Here it comes._

"When you kissed Zuko, how was it?"

Toph breathed deeply. She opted for survival instead of honesty.

"You know that saying that a kiss can be a comma, a question mark, or an exclamation point?" She asked.

"Of course, that's basic spelling that every woman ought to know." Katara answered.

"Well, his was more like an eraser. I don't know if he was kissing me or deleting me, that should put your doubts to rest."

Katara seemed satisfied with the answer. But then,

"And Aang, how was Aang?"

Toph pondered for a moment. How was Aang? That was a good question. Should she tell her about the toe curling or the way he seemed to multiply by himself and surround her like a fence until there was no escape?

"It was OK." She answered.

Katara studied her in silence. Toph could feel her friend's gaze on her face.

"Really? he never kisses me like that." Katara said after a moment.

"What are you implying? Kissing you how?"

"Toph, your face is magenta. If you knew about colors, you would know that whatever magenta means, the word to describe it is probably not 'OK'."

Toph blew her bangs annoyed.

"Stop reading things on the colors of my face, you sound like circus-turned-Kyoshi-freak." She determined.

Suki grabbed the fire whiskey and poured herself a drink.

"Why were you kissing Zuko and Aang?" she asked, curiously.

"As research." Toph answered, realizing how lame it sounded.

Suki sounded grave when she said:

"If you are doing serious research, you should kiss Sokka."

"Oh, by Yue! Who is the pimp now?" Katara mumbled fastidiously.

"No, I am serious. Friends help friends. You should help him figure out his issues. You should kiss him."

"You know, just because you're willing to let Toph kiss Sokka doesn't mean that I'm going to be OK with you kissing Zuko." Katara warned.

"That's because you're selfish" Suki said.

Toph buried her head in her arms.

"Guys" she said seriously "I need to sleep. I need to rest because tomorrow is going to be a long and terrible day."

Katara rubbed Toph's back.

"You can sleep here with me." She said sweetly. Suki got up to leave.

"I'm meeting Sokka, I'll see you guys tomorrow."

Toph burrowed herself on Katara's bed and Katara covered her with a thick blanket. Before drifting to sleep, Toph thought about Aang. And something told her that he would probably go to her room tonight as well. It was part of the unspoken rules of those things that you do at night but don't discuss in the morning. Nocturnal visits always repeat themselves.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

Toph woke up to the usual voices. She heard hushing at the door. Sweetness was talking to, who else? Sparky.

"Oh, not again!" Toph groaned to herself, covering her head with her pillow.

"_You are my torment" _he was saying.

"_I can't let you in tonight, Toph is sleeping. She didn't want to be alone in her room. You know how she is affected by all of this."_

"_One kiss and I go."_

She heard the kissing. "One kiss my foot" she muttered after several minutes of kissing that somehow managed to turn into closing the door and moving against the wall. She heard them whispering.

"_This is more than one kiss." _Katara said.

"_Stop kissing me back, then."_

"_I can't. I'm afraid that I will close my eyes and won't see you for another ten months."_

"_You will see me. This is the third time you've seen me today." _She giggled. Toph gagged. Giggling? Really?

"_I know."_ She was saying._ "By now you should be sated. Wait, you're going to rip this. Let me do it."_

"_Sated? Of you? Impossible. I love you hair."_

"_I love your face. Uy, what are you doing?"_

"_You want me to stop?"_

"_No, but Toph … Oh, yes, like that. Please don't stop."_

"_Feel this?"_

"_Yes, is the scar in your chest. I should have done a better job, I'm sorry."_

"_No, it's not a scar. When I touch my chest I don't feel a scar. I feel the kanji of your name, right here, in the middle, and I don't want to lose it. I don't want it to ever go away._"

She heard them brushing against the wall.

"I swear if this become rhythmical I'm outta here." Toph grumbled to herself.

"_Yue knows I've missed you. I've missed you so much … Oh, Spirits!"_

He was covering her mouth now because the sounds were muffled.

Toph got up, picked up her blanket and the pillow, walked to the door passing next to them, still against the wall. They stopped. She waved her hand without turning her head.

"Go to bed" she said before closing the door. "Save the wall burns for daytime".

When she got to her room, her worse fear was there. He was on her bed, sleeping. Waiting for her. She put her pillow down and slid under the covers. He curled up against her, passing an arm around her waist. He was warm and light. She fell asleep immediately.

0o0o0o0o

"Wrang!! Wrang!!"

Toph woke up with a start. A noise like a gerbil-cat scratching metal could be heard. She thought it was coming from outside her door.

"Twinkle Toes!" She shook him awake "What's that noise?"

He rubbed his eyes, waking up.

"It sounds like someone is in pain" He said, with alarm, and jumped to grab his staff. Then, she heard several voices.

"_All I want is to kiss your feet_

_All I want is to kiss you toes_

_All I want is you_

_oooooo-aaaahhhhh_

_All I want is you"_

A baritone was doing the oooooo-aaaaahhhh, while tenors were singing the lyrics.

"What's this?" She asked in panic. Aang stopped in his tracks.

"They are …" he doubted that the word actually described what they were doing "... singing. I think someone is singing outside your door."

"Is this more punishment for saying No?" She asked bewildered.

Aang leaned against the door listening.

"Actually, I think they are _courting _you. I've heard of this. It's practiced in certain islands of the Fire Nation. They call them 'serenades'." He scratched his head. "I think you are supposed to go out and say thank you or something like that."

She crossed her arms.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Under the bed, now!!"

"These beds, they are flushed with the floor, I can't."

"Fly or something! Do you want anyone to find us? How are we explaining that you are sleeping in my room?"

He looked for something, and then said with a bit of resentment.

"I will stand behind the door. No one will see me."

She picked up the resentment, immediately.

"What? Are you going to get angry now because I am telling you to hide? By the Spirits T.T., I'm your dirty little secret, no need to get all emotional about it. Sugar Queen may take it personal." She could have added that Sugar Queen was probably grateful that she was keeping him entertained, but they were already in too deep. He mumbled something and stood behind the door.

The voices kept going up like an staccato.

"_All I want is to dance with you,_

_All I want is for you to yell at me_

_oooooo-aaaaahhhhhh"_

She composed her nightdress, put a warm robe on, opened the door and walked outside.

The corridor was already full of people. She felt someone approaching her. Sokka and Suki. Obviously these two had solved their differences. Sokka scratched himself half asleep.

"Who are these guys?" He asked "Do you know them? Hey, I think I recognize them. Wait. Yep. They tried to kill us once. How are you doing? Nice seeing you again."

She heard Pops coming behind her.

"This is fantastic!" He said bemused. "Master Toph, you are being serenade by the Rough Rhinos, led by your suitor, the famous Colonel Mongke."

"You got to be kidding me." She said.

"Hello my little prize." The sexy voice of June could be heard over the racket of the singers. Toph got the chills. For the first time in her life she understood what Sparky meant every time he said that his uncle had no shame.

Sokka, meanwhile was appreciating the concert.

"No wonder these guys opted for murder and mayhem for their day jobs." He said after a minute. "Hey, don't quit the horde job! This is preposterous, I am going to bed." He grabbed Suki by the arm.

"I think is so romantic!" Suki said. Toph turned to her with '_Honestly??' _written all over her face. "They do this in Kyoshi. The suitor brings serenades to the girl he likes, and then the father of the girl usually drops a basket full of refuse on the top of the head of the boy. If he is a good singer and his family has money, he gets invited a drink."

"So marriage in Kyoshi is based on singing capabilities?"Iroh asked.

"Well, not really. The quality of the refuse is. I should probably tell you now Sokka that my dad hates serenade season."

Toph had heard enough. She raised her arms, to get the Rough Rhinos to stop, but they didn't. They finished their verse, followed by polite applause from the audience. She then heard one of them coming closer to her and bowing deeply.

"My lady," a voice like a harsh, greedy growl was heard.

She heard Sokka whistling under his breath. _Darn, Toph, that's an evil looking boyfriend. _She crossed her arms.

"So" she asked her suitor in a bad mood "Why are you singing? Courting me is not a pre-requisite to winning this Contest."

"I just thought it would be a nice gesture to show you my good intentions." The growl softened a bit.

Fire Lord Pops felt obliged to intervene, obviously.

"You see my little friend" Iroh said "Colonel Mongke is a romantic at heart."

_"Ooohh" _the hag said "_Lucky you._"

Toph assented, wondering about the definition of romance in horde dictionaries.

"Frankly," she said to the group in general and to Mongke in particular, "I hope you guys get eaten by leopard seals. This is the worse singing I ever heard. Thank you for the lyrics, though. I appreciate the effort." She bowed elegantly, and turned on her heels to her room.

She closed the door and went to bed. He was already there, waiting for her. She burrowed in his arms and he started making circles on her back with his fingers. She turned to face him and that was the silent message for the kissing to start. He complied happily. She, however, pulled back after the first kiss.

"I still haven't forgiven you for the June thing." She said seriously. He caressed her cheek.

"You want my punishment to start now?" He asked. "I can be your slave tonight, if you want me to." She raised one finger.

"Kiss my finger." He did so.

"Now, kiss my hand." He did too. She thought hard about what else to do that sounded like a punishment.

"Now, my elbow." He bent over her and kissed the outer part of her elbow. She couldn't really think of anything else, and suddenly he moved and grabbed her leg.

"What are you doing?" She asked, in alarm.

"I'm going to kiss your foot." He said in a low voice. "So you can see me kissing you."

Toph trembled.

"T.T." She said honestly, while he removed the warm wool sock until her foot rested naked on his palm. "This is _really_ sexy." He started kissing her foot, from her ankle to her toes and she whimpered. "You don't need any scrolls or any Zuko for that matter," she said with a deep sigh "you are _so _talented".

She _saw_ him smile.

"Am I forgiven?" He asked, his mouth against her arch.

"Don't push your luc… Oh, by earth, yes!"


	15. 4th Interlude, A slice of key lime pie

_Fanfiction sometimes is like tequila, it tastes better with green limes. __The following interlude is j__ust because summer is ending in the Northern Hemisphere and winter is ending in the Southern Hemisphere. And ... yes, because is good for the_ _soul._

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**XV. 4th Interlude, A slice of key lime pie**

_(Katara)_

Toph closed the door remarkably discreetly for her usual self. We stood there, frozen for a second, and then I started giggling. I couldn't help it. His face was buried in my neck, and I could feel him chuckling against my skin, suddenly shivering. He removed is hand from my mouth, slowly, and moved it down my face, from my neck to my shoulder. His other hand, which had been grabbing my leg around his waist let me go slowly too, and I found myself standing, suddenly bereft of him, finding difficult to find my balance, between the laughs. He put both his hands against the wall, on the sides of my face, the flicker of the stove barely illuminating his features. He raised his head and smiled at me. I could only see one side of his face, his good side. His absolutely beautiful side. I regained my balance putting my hands on his chest.

"You have to give it to her." He said, whispering. "She's a good sport."

I tip-toed to graze his lips with mine.

"A very good sport." His hand traveled again to my neck, breathing deeply. We were both panting, suddenly realizing that for the first time in almost a year we had privacy, time and no compunction about what we were doing.

"I could use a bed." He said again whispering. "My knees are about to give up on me."

I assented in silence, grabbing his hand and walking towards the bed that Toph had just left.

We laid down facing each other. I slid my hand between his thick wool robes, caressing the black fur trim before letting my hand travel to his neck, and thinking that even in winter wools instead of silk he managed to look regal. Somehow the hunger had subsided, leaving us wondering at each other, like a dream from which we may wake up at any moment. He started caressing my neck too, his fingers on the mark he had left earlier that afternoon, when he had bitten me.

"Every day for almost a year I thought about this." He said. I blinked. My fingers kept touching the dimple where his neck connected with his shoulder, and I suddenly realized that they were shaking.

"Just about this?" I asked, but really not wanting to know. He sighed, and his face flickered, maybe it was a trick of the light but I saw raw emotion in his eyes.

"I didn't dare to think about more." He muttered. It sounded to me that thinking about _this _all the time was pretty daring, but who understands men? "If I do, I picture Aang and then …"

I put my fingers on his lips.

"Don't mention the word honor." I said meaning it. "Or I'm going to flip."

He kissed my fingertips.

"I'm so far away from my honor right now." He said. "And the worse is, I don't know if I care."

I sighed and turned on my back looking at the ceiling.

"You care." I said. "You care so much that tomorrow we are going to be back where we started. You are going to push me away, and act all princely and aloof and start talking about the Fire Nat…" he did not let me continue, he was kissing me again, between passionate and furious. When he was sure that I had shut up, he leaned his forehead against mine.

"I'm not going to push you away." He said assuredly, while his hands traveled up under my skirt, and he grabbed my thighs. "I don't think that I can do that anymore." He was playing me with his fingers again, like a musical instrument. "I just don't have the energy to keep away from you."

I stretched, trying not to moan.

"Are you sure?" I asked. "Because even if you do, I'm talking to Aang tomorrow."

He stopped. The same emotion than before was in his eyes, flickering like a candle down to his lips.

"Are you calling the Ceremony off?" He asked, incredulous.

"I have to." I touched his face. He slowly started opening my robe, undressing me step by step and I realized belatedly that, regardless of whatever else we had been doing all day, we had kept our clothes on. He started raining kisses on my skin, warming me, not letting me be exposed to the cold. His final, and best gesture was to open his robes, exposing his chest and his body, before leaning on top of me, and heating my skin with his.

"I can't continue like this." I said. He kissed me again, opening my mouth with his, before positioning himself, deeply. I gasped, and then tried to talk, but there was no way I could concentrate in what I was trying to say. "Even if you leave, even if you don't love me back, I can't do it."

"I'm not leaving." He whispered in my ear, grabbing my legs and wrapping them around his waist. "I'm not leaving you_. Ever._"

I couldn't talk. Better still, I couldn't think. But something he said went through my already addled brain.

"What?" I asked half jokingly. "Are you moving to the South Pole?"

He was moving that way that had haunted my memories and my dreams since the first time. My first time. Our first time. More still, that had chased and fired my imagination probably since that day, long ago, when I first saw him bending on the snow. He was like eating sea prunes. Once you tasted one you knew that nothing else would taste that good, and you wanted no other food. Like Toph had said, like chocolates.

"No." He panted in my mouth. "You're moving to the Fire Nation."

This was not the moment to discuss such heavy matters. This was not the moment to discuss anything, period. Being with him again was the only thing I cared about at that moment, and honestly, I couldn't care less about his country, my land, his girlfriend, my fiancée, the future, his stupid, crappy honor or my guilt.

"Let's talk about it tomorrow." I said and suddenly I stopped. He stopped too, wondering. I grabbed his beautiful face in my hands. "But don't you dare mention your honor again tonight. I'm all honored-out. So be a good boy and give _us _a rest."

He grinned and started moving and kissing me again.

"I'm that good, ah?"

"Shut up." But I had to be _honest _for once. "You're better." I whispered.

"I've missed you _so_ much." He said and it was the first time he had said it since he got to the South Pole. And then he said something else. "You feel like home. Being here like this with you, feels like coming home."


	16. The Opening of the Contest

_Well, I was waiting to hear some opinions about the previous interlude before posting the new chapter, just to have an idea about what you guys think, but The Amber Dragonfly (beautiful alias, by the way) just send me a beautiful piece of fan art and I have to share it. It's the foot smooching scene. Look at his eyes! _

_http: / / theamberdragonfly dot deviantart dot com / art / Taang-AMoH-Can-You-See-Me-96320946_

_(copy, paste and delete the spaces or just click on my profile and clink on the links)_

_I guess I will have to go forward with this without that much feedback. It's OK, I started writing this because it's fun for me and I don't believe in holding back chapters for ransom._

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**XVI. The Opening of the Contest**

Toph woke up against her will. She had been having really blissful dreams of giant playgrounds full of rocks, with attorneys dressed in aprons running around trying to avoid being crushed by boulders while at the same time serving her fire whiskey. For each drop spilled, a boulder would be shot. "_Run, bloodsuckers, run!_" she cried happily and then a figure appeared. A man was in the middle of the playground, hovering above the ground, irradiating goodness and warmth, filling the place.

"_Toph" _the man said in an otherworldly voice "_Stop torturing attorneys. You need to forgive, Toph, forgive and be good."_

"_Shut it, Twinkle Toes!"_ She said to the man in the dream, throwing a boulder at him. "_Why don't you come down and be bad with me instead?" _

Toph opened her eyes with a sudden start. She was lying on her bed, on her side. She could feel him wrapped around her like a warm blanket, his firebending now second nature enough to allow him to adjust his body temperature automatically. She understood the complete addiction Katara seemed to have for her own firebender. You can get very spoiled with blankety firebenders at your disposal. She moved her hand behind her and touched him. He was dressed, completely dressed. She was dressed too and she didn't know if that was a good or bad thing. Her feet were _naked _though. The memories came back and she felt her face turning magenta, deep crimson for the feel of it. Whatever conversations Twinkle Toes had been having with Sparky, the results were just too good. She never knew that her feet would get her into so much trouble, especially when they were usually the ones getting her out of trouble. Also, Twinkle Toes curiosity had been an interesting sight to behold. Well, she couldn't see but the gist of the expression was there. Between the monks' disinformation, Katara's aloofness and the hormones, the modest monk had been keeping all these _things _inside that suddenly came to the surface and got him behaving very un-monkish. He seemed fascinated by the shape of her body, and for once the euphemistic "blossoming" felt right. At least, he made her feel right, like if she was made of egg custard tarts. Toph moved a bit, adjusting her body to his and closed her eyes again.

"You are awake, Sifu T." He said on her ear, and she wondered how long had he been awake.

"You're too." She mumbled, refusing to move or to open her eyes. He started making circles on her back with the tip of his fingers. She arched her back and thought that if he made a move for her feet she was lost. His fingers looked for her face, found her chin and softly turned her face toward him. Her eyes were already closed when he kissed her again. Not that it made much difference to her, being blind and all. He removed his face from hers and said in the same whisper:

"I need to go. The heads of state are probably already in session trying to figure out your Contest."

She didn't want him to go. Actually, she didn't want him to stay for that matter, but right now _that_ did not make much of a difference. She turned her body completely toward him knowing perfectly well that that would bring attention to her lips. The silly monk did not take the bait.

"I need to go." He repeated, grazing her forehead with his lips. "I'll see you later at the assembly, OK?"

She still did not want him to go, but did not want to say it. She arched her back again, stretching, and the shape of her body with all its curves came into full view, or at least she hoped that it did. The monk stopped with the farewells, obviously at a loss for words. Toph thought that the seducer role was a rather easy one when dealing with teenagers repressed by religion.

"I _need_ to go" he insisted, but his heart was not in his answer, as evidenced by the hands that suddenly grabbed her waist. She smiled, more like a smirk really. He noticed and let her go. "I'm leaving" he announced to the universe, kissing her forehead again and removing his warm body, trying to leave the bed. She had a second to think what to do next to keep him there, and then she acted, purely on instinct. She moved fast and grabbed his ears, both of them, with her fingers. He stopped.

"Let me go, Sifu T." He requested with a scolding tone. She caressed his ears instead. He made a small sound, almost like a whimper. "Please?" he asked with a tiny little voice. She shook her head and caressed his ears again with open-finger caresses that moved firmly, tenderly and possessively. "Stop this … right now …" he moaned and suddenly jumped on top of her blanketing her body with his and kissing her with open mouth kisses. "Forget it!" He groaned. "Don't stop now, please don't let me go." She smirked again.

0o0o0o0o0o

Aang left not much longer after the ear-shattering discovery. Toph stayed in her bed, dressed but with the weird feeling that she wouldn't mind being undressed, particularly by a shy little monk capable somehow of setting everything on fire _while _keeping things chaste (for the most part). If that wasn't sexy, she did not know anything about shabby romance literature. She waited for someone to show up. Maybe Katara or even Suki. She then remembered that as far as she understood the events of the previous night, her friends would not be showing up. They would be like her: trying to keep blankety companions from leaving. She wondered who would be the most successful and if it would be in bad taste to compare notes. Her first reaction was to think that Katara was probably the winner, taking into account that her firebender had been exiled in frigid Mailand and that the poor guy was probably owed an official pardon. She then remembered her own situation and the Contest, and the fact that technically, she would be comparing notes about her friend's fiancée-on-hold with such aforementioned friend. If that wasn't the definition of bad taste, she did not know what it was.

"Darn" she muttered when it dawn upon her that she would be getting dressed by herself. "I won't be looking good today."

0o0o0o0o0o0

Toph tried to find the great hall to no avail. She wandered aimlessly around corridors when a voice that she liked said:

"Toph!" _Bless the Spirits! Suki!_ "What happened to you?" the warrior asked bluntly. Toph shrugged her shoulders.

"I had to dress myself" she offered as an explanation. Suki came closer and spoke in a low voice.

"Katara was detained_?_" Toph shrugged. "I assumed when I saw you in your own room last night that you had to run for cover." Toph assented. "Wow!" Suki mumbled, wistfully. "Those firebenders like don't get tired or anything. They are like _super _firebenders."

Toph nodded. Suki turned and talked to the people that were with her, obviously the other warriors.

"Girls, go to the Hall. I'll be there in a minute." Suki grabbed her hand and started walking in the opposite direction. "Let's get you fixed up a little; we don't want you to scare people."

Toph let herself be led. When they got to her room, Suki was fast and efficient, like a good captain.

"So, Toph." Suki asked suddenly while brushing her hair back from her face. "Are you going to do the favor I asked you?" Toph was at loss. "With Sokka" Suki added impatiently.

Toph jaw dropped.

"Were you serious last night?" She asked, unbelieving it.

"Absolutely. He needs to work out some issues but he's too much of a wuss to do it on his own. He needs some encouragement."

Toph didn't know if to feel offended or flattered.

"You want me to seduce your boyfriend to help him figure out that he only wants you?" She asked slowly. "Why on earth would you choose me, when yesterday you were pondering about me liking boys at all? Why not someone more girly? Ty Lee always had a soft spot for Sokka."

Suki was tying her hair up. It had grown long during the last couple of years.

"Because I trust you, and I don't trust any of my trampy warriors. They've been tarting around for far too long, you on the other hand have only been hussying during the last couple of days."

Toph brought her hands to her heart.

"You really know how to make a girl feel special." She mumbled.

Suki was very matter of fact.

"I'm serious. You have no idea what peace has done to my island. There are no enemies, nothing to defend the island from, and it has been a real problem to keep discipline within a bunch of women with too much time on their hands. Right now, their only entertainment is the Code." Toph had no idea what Suki was talking about. "I should have buried that scroll when it was given to me by my predecessor." Suki added exasperated, still on a roll. "Take Ty Lee for example. When she first joined the Kyoshi warriors I was thrilled with her total commitment to learn our customs." Suki was now fixing her clothes. "Then I found out that the woman took the Code at heart and there is no rock left unturned in the entire island." Toph kept quiet, still confused, waiting for the warrior to make sense. "I'm not only talking about the other warrior girls, that's kind of expected you know, the experimentation. And she is so good at it, I mean with the acrobatics and the chi knowledge, but now she has become the official right of passage _in_ the island." Toph was now playing with her sash, spacing out from Suki's ramblings. "There is such thing as too much enthusiasm. Why do you think I brought almost all of them to the South Pole? To see if the cold calms them down." Suki then noticed Toph uncharacteristic lack of reaction. "You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?" She asked. Toph shook her head.

"Something about Ty Lee being very good at following the Kyoshi Code."

Suki tapped her shoulder with her fan.

"Well, if you may know, our Avatar believed that a happy, _satisfied_ warrior would fight twice as hard." Toph assented distracted. "And she wrote a Code about it." Suki concluded. She then added, to help Toph understand. "Emphasis on _satisfaction._" Toph suddenly gasped in horror. Her brain rebelled, screaming, against the idea of Kyoshi-the-sexy-kitten-Avatar. Suki kept talking, ill humored. "It's a problem keeping moral authority in an island when your warriors are running around making the Code public." Right now, Toph did not want to know about the Kyoshi Code of (mis)Conduct.

"Suki," she said, quoting Aang talking about airbenders, "there is a reason why the way of the Kyoshi are a mystery to everyone. There is such thing as too much information."

"You're right." Suki said with a sigh. "The point is," Suki finished with her dress. "I wouldn't trust Ty Lee with Sokka for five seconds. That woman knows too much. I may not get him back."

Toph could understand Suki's point of view.

"She knows too much and I know too little." She accepted. "I see your point. I still don't like to be branded the new tart of the Avatar team. I thought Katara had that cornered."

"You are half way there." Suki said logically. "You managed to achieve in twenty four hours what took Katara four years. You may not like it, but you're good. And besides, Sokka is not your brother. You're the obvious choice, you are our friend and you're loyal. You won't let me down."

"Suki I'm not sure you realize this, being as you are biased, but this secret 'Sokka Mission' you want to send me on, _SUCKS_. Big time."

"Is not that bad." The warrior was almost imploring now. "You just need to keep him from swallowing you, though; he gets very enthusiastic with his …"

"STOP! Right now. I can't hear this. I'll think about it, but no details, please." Toph breathed deeply. "If I decide to try to help, I'll do it my way, OK? My way, my terms, on my own time."

Suki sighed.

"Please," she said putting her hands on Toph shoulders. "Think about it. And when you do, remember that you're holding my heart in your hands."

Toph raised an eyebrow.

"That was the lowliest moral blackmail I've gotten in my lifetime." She told her friend. Suki had the decency to sound ashamed.

"I'm a warrior." She shrugged. "I'm trained to use every weapon in my arsenal."

0o0o0o0o0

When they got to the hall, it was already bursting with activity and life. Toph could hear voices coming from everywhere, but as usual she only looked for the ones she cared about. Suki was guiding her, holding her elbow.

"There is Iroh, and Hakoda, and to your left Gran-Gran and Master Pakku. That guy doesn't leave her alone for one minute. Incredible. Ah, and here comes Aang." Her heart raced. Like a bunny-squirrel. Like a hysterical bunny-squirrel.

"Good morning, Toph." He said serenely. He seemed very poised. Not his usual bubbling-self, oblivious to his effect on the people around him, jumping around or talking happily about minutia. She bowed her head in acknowledgment.

"Good morning, Aang." She answered, with the same evenness. Not her usual acerbic self, all nicknames and verbal jabs. They stayed there, feeling the presence of each other. It was then that Toph realized with certainty that you couldn't just play games at night with impunity. Whatever they were doing was not being erased, like before, just by playing innocent. The bond was growing like a vine, wrapping them with secrets.

Sokka's arrival broke the silence.

"Suki!" he sounded happy and carefree, embracing his girlfriend and kissing her affectionately. Toph and Aang standoffishness went completely unnoticed. "Where were you? You missed having breakfast with dad and me!" He turned to the other two. "Hi guys. Aang, there were some women out there chanting for you. They expect you to make an appearance or something."

"It's not the right moment for this." He sounded mildly panicky.

"I tried to send Zuko in your place but no one seems to know where the Crown Prince is hiding. He's not going to be able to pull things like that when he becomes Fire Lord. Just go and wave or something. That should calm them down."

Suki giggled.

"Be careful with what they throw at you." Suki said.

Toph turned to leave, when she felt Aang's fingers brushing hers tentatively, and then he removed his hand quickly.

"Sokka, I really don't want…" he started, but then stopped. She realized that he had stopped because she had stayed. That was confusing. Since when was dealing with Twinkle Toes confusing? She turned to leave again and he started talking at the same time "… don't want to do that. It's really uncomfortable…" he was saying and she felt the fingers touching hers briefly again. She stopped once more and he stopped talking. She turned to leave. "… those girls can make Fire Lord Iroh blush …" and felt the fingers again. A thought briefly crossed her mind of doing this a couple times more until he finished the sentence, but she was not interested in the conversation.

"QUIT IT!" She yelled at him. Aang jumped on his place, spooked. She could feel Sokka looking at her with dread.

"Toph," he said stepping back. "Are you OK?" She heard him mumbling to Suki "_Call for reinforcements. Ask Iroh if he brought some of Azula's medication with him._"

She raised her hand. The last thing she needed were Azula happy pills. Rumor had it that whatever concoction Iroh had been feeding Azula had her saying 'please' to people and uttering words like (gasp!) contrition. She could understand neutralizing a source of evil, but making wicked fun malevolence say _thank you _to the hired help was just wrong.

"I'm OK." She said with an even voice. "I'm not going to flip or anything today, I promise."

Sokka was still standing behind Suki.

"Toph, we talked about your cool factor before…" he started and then exclaimed, relieved "Zuko! My friend Zuko, you're here!" Sokka practically ran to the firebenber's arms. It was really hard for the Fire Prince to keep his dignity with friends like his around. "Come with me, some people want to see you." Sokka dragged Zuko away.

Suki coughed politely.

"Are you OK, Toph?" She asked. "Because Aang was just talking. He didn't mean anything negative about Iroh."

Toph wondered how could Suki get it so wrong, when she was usually very sharp.

"I'm sorry Twinkle Toes." She said politely, lowering her head. "For yelling at you."

Suki was dumbfounded.

"I need to find Sokka." She said hurriedly. "I need to tell him that you just apologized. He owes me money!" The warrior ran, calling her boyfriend.

"Make up your mind, T.T." Toph told him straightforwardly, her hands on her hips. "But stop it with the confusing signals."

"I can't stop it with the confusion, you know that." He answered in an accusatory tone.

She raised her chin.

"Keep talking to me like that and no more ear rubbing for you." She threatened, lowering her voice.

He lowered his voice too.

"Keep yelling at me and no more foot massages for you." He warned back. She gasped.

"That's so low." She mumbled, shaking her head, capitulating. "Holding foot massages hostage. This is no way to treat your dirty little secret. I may not want to play dirty anymore."

He feigned arrogance, a hidden layer of mirth under his tone.

"Please, like that's going to happen…" he started when a known, sweet voice said:

"What's going to happen?" Katara. Katara's voice and Aang's horror. Toph actually felt sorry for Aang, hearing him hyperventilating next to her.

"Katara" he mumbled, and Toph could not see his face but she could hear his blood rushing like a wild river. She had completely forgotten that Aang was fully convinced that he was cheating on his faithful, innocent, spaced out fiancée. Her heart cringed hearing him coughing and choking on his own guilt. "Didn't see you this morning." He was saying, and Katara was silent, probably looking at him intensely and then at Toph, who was completely serene, in "_visiting-my-parents" _mode, with her hands demurely clasped at her back.

"I didn't see you either." Katara said softly. "Aang, I need to talk to Toph, do you mind?"

He coughed again.

"Not at all. Actually, I need to go help Zuko with some people that wanted to see us. Bye!" Aang ran away.

Katara tapped her chin.

"He turned magenta." She said almost to herself. "Toph, by any chance, have you done any more research lately?"

"In what time?" Not a single muscle in her face betrayed her. "You've been with me almost all the time. Except, of course, when you were with Sparky. Doing your own research."

Katara was impressed.

"Wow, Toph." She said "You must have been really good with that _single little _kiss the other night. He was asphyxiating on remorse."

Toph shrugged.

"You always underestimated me." She answered. "So, what's up? You wanted to talk to me."

"I've a favor to ask."

"Oh no, not another _favor._" She groaned. Katara was not discouraged.

"This one is important." She said ominously. "After the meeting, I'm going to break up with Aang, and I need you to be there for him."

Toph had the decency to lower her head like she was looking at her shoes or something.

"You're going to break his heart." She said honestly, because regardless of how good it may feel, you just don't erase almost five years of infatuation with some ear rubbing. You could try, though.

Katara sighed.

"I know. But I need to do it. Better breaking his heart this way than by him finding out what's going on." Toph nodded in understanding.

"What about Sparky? Is he going to break up with Sunshine?"

Katara shrugged.

"I'm not doing this because we're eloping of anything like that. Is not a joint decision, it's my decision."

Toph tilted her head in understanding.

"He hasn't told you that he loves you, has he?" She asked, and even though she was not trying to hurt Katara she felt her flinch, like she had been slapped.

"No." Katara said, sadly. "He hasn't." Toph grabbed her hand.

"Sparky is emotionally challenged, Sweetness." She said. "Most of the time he can't handle his feelings, let's not even talk about articulating them. He either snuffs them out through meditation or conveys them by yelling or burning something. He expresses them, he doesn't talk about them. That's just the way he is."

Toph fought with all her heart against her own '_never tell secrets_' code_. _She hated sensing Katara's doubts, specially when she knew that if there was a trade on obsessive love out there, Sparky was holding the monopoly. But breaching confidences was against the code of blind bystanders. Well, true, she was making that one up, no such code existed, but in earnest, it was against her understanding of friendship to cross boundaries that needed to be breached by the people involved, not by the people on the sidelines. She could try to help, though.

"I'll keep Aang company." Toph promised. "I may even kiss him again just to help both of you, of course, with the, you know, getting over the pain thing, but I need you to promise me something in return."

"What?"

"Give Sparky a chance. Don't go _moony _on him just because he doesn't say what you want to hear, when you want to hear it." Katara sighed.

"I'll give Sparky all the chances." She said. "I just hope that he does the same, and gives _us_ a chance."

"He still believes in the tree?" She heard Katara shrugging.

"He still believes in his honor, and stealing girlfriends from friends is not honorable."

"So, no monkey philosophy for you?"

"No, I'm letting go of Aang without holding onto anything else."

"You're not, like, hanging with teeth and nails to the other branch?"

"I'm not."

"You're _such _a liar."

"I know."

Toph then felt Katara doing the shivering thing. That quiver that would travel to the floor and make other people shudder, not knowing why.

"Hello Champ." Zuko said. Not that Toph had any doubts regarding the nature of their relationship, actually by now she was probably scarred or titillated for life, hard to say, but any lingering hesitation got obliterated by the smell. They smelled exactly the same. Same soap, same angst, same happiness, same … _determination?_ "Tara, Gran-Gran is looking for you. The assembly is going to start soon." He leaned closer to her friend's ear, but Toph could still hear him. "_You look beautiful._" Toph heard Katara brushing against him and realized that they were probably lacing their fingers together, briefly.

"Later?" Katara asked.

"Later." He confirmed. Katara walked away. He stood there, probably looking at her walking away.

"So." Toph asked bluntly. "Are you breaking up with your own fiancée?"

He sounded surprised.

"Fiancée? You mean Mai?"

"Yeah, I mean the future Fire Lady, as such thing is believed all over the Fire Nation."

She heard him shaking his head.

"I'm not engaged to Mai. Where did you hear that?"

"You may not be engaged to her, but word on the street is that she's engaged to you."

"But how? I thought engagements included marriage proposals!" He was starting to sound slightly panicky now.

"The question is, How did you manage to get her to take you back? After dumping her twice under," she plucked the air making quotation marks, "less than fortunate circumstances?"

"I asked for forgiveness, reminded her that we always managed to have a good time together and then I said that we may be able to do so for the rest of our lives."

"To do what?"

"To be friends, to have good times together."

"Sparky, for being such an intelligent, educated man, you're truly rubbish at romance. I mean, _total _rubbish."

"What did I do?"

"You gave _hope _to a very hopeless person. Do you know what hopeless people do with hope? They run with it! Sparky, you need to write another letter."

"Oh no, not another letter. Last time I listened to you I had to get protective detail after coming back to the Fire Nation. She was waiting for me behind every corner, I swear. I even found knives in my morning jook. I had to run away and hide with Lee for a month! I'm not listening to you again!"

Toph crossed her arms.

"So, what are you planning to do? Wait to get back to the Fire Nation to break up with her?"

"In an ideal world, yes. I'll face her directly and break up with her like an honorable man would."

"And what are you going to do with Sweetness? Leave her here with a broken heart?"

"I'm not leaving Katara. Ever. Not here, not anywhere else. Wherever I go, she goes with me."

"In summary, let me see if I got all of this right: You think is a good idea to stay in the South Pole cavorting with Sugar Queen while back home you have an involuntarily acquired spooky fiancée who is probably sending wedding invitations right now? And then, you want to go back to the Fire Nation, with Sugar Cakes on tow, and break up in person, after letting such Fiancée run around for a month buying her trousseau?" Toph breathed deeply, before adding "I may not be crazy about Sunshine, but even _I_ cannot come up with a more humiliating scenario."

Sparky shuffled on his feet.

"You make it sound really bad." He sounded deeply confused. "_What else is new?" _the hag asked.

"It's that bad. Besides, you need to tell Katara about the accidental engagement. I can't believe that happened. Don't you guys do like other nations and give some engagement token or something?"

"Well, I did gave Mai a ring that used to belong to my mother as a reconciliation gift, but not as an engagement ring!"

"You gave her a ring?? And mentioned the rest of your lives as a possibility??"

"I was about to embark for the South Pole to attend Aang's and Katara's wedding, what else do you want from me?"

"You know what's really scary? That _you _are going to be Fire Lord in less than a year. Think about that: the world in your hands _and_ Twinkle Toes. Wow, I cannot move to another planet, so I wonder if they do tourist packages to the Spirit World."

Sparky was starting to get angry.

"OK, I may have made a mistake. What do you want me to do? It's not honorable to do what you're asking. I mean, _again_."

Toph thought about it for a moment.

"Maybe we can let Mai down gently, like letting her know little by little what's coming. That way, when you get home with your Waterbender on tow she's prepared."

He, with good reason, was _deeply _distrustful of the plan.

"What do you mean by 'little by little'?"

She made a gesture with her hand.

"Sparky, leave the logistics to me. I promise, you won't be disappointed. Anyway, you just said that you will face her when you come home, not before, so whatever I may be thinking won't affect your plans." She turned, trying to place something or someone on the hall. "I need a fireguy, where are Yin's men? Need to talk to them."

Zuko was not giving in that easy.

"Toph, I warn you, another singing courier and you will ask to go to Ba Sing Se voluntarily." That was becoming like everyone's favorite threat lately. She shrugged, her face a mask of innocence. He sighed. "Yin and his men are on a corner, chatting up Kyoshi warriors. I'll walk you to them."

Toph remembered Suki's concerns.

"Are your men still under the rules of the Agni Code of behaving properly and soberly at all times?"

"Yes, you know that."

"Just checking."

Zuko grabbed her elbow and walked her to Yin. All the soldiers saluted and Zuko bowed and left. Toph turned to Yin.

"Captain, I need someone I can trust to dictate and then send a letter."

"Of course, Master. To whom?"

"Noblewoman Mai, on the Fire Nation."

She felt Yin's apprehension.

"It's going to be hard to find a volunteer, Master."

"It's OK, it won't be delivered in person. It will go by messenger hawk. Also, it will be an anonymous message, no names will be attached to it."

"What about the bird?" Yin asked. Toph was moved. Yin was a decent guy to the end.

"Let's get the meanest and fastest hawk. One that it's trained to deliver the message, bite the recipient and then flee. Do we have something like that?"

"Yes. It's called El Tuerto. That's foreign for _One Eye. _It has an eye-patch."

"Sounds like the bird we need. So, what about the letter?"

"I'll personally write it for you. I won't risk any of my men on this mission. After Chin and Lee, the morale of the group is getting low." He did not say it, but Toph had the impression that helping her was decimating Yin's men faster than Sozin's war. She decided against bringing that up.

"Ok, this is the message: _Dear Mai: Rule number one of the Girly Code: once you throw something in the garbage never, ever, pick it up again. Signed, The Blind Bandit._"

Toph had no problem using her old alias. Mai had never been interested enough in Zuko's friends to actually find out about their hobbies. She tolerated them, particularly Aang because he was the Avatar, Toph because her family was richer than Mai's, and Suki, because Ty Lee was totally into Kyoshis. That pretty much left Katara and Sokka as the ones that Mai would barely acknowledge. She seemed to find them _lacking _somehow, and Toph resented her snobbishness. To the point that she drafted and entire plan of attack in her brain to start sending anonymous messages to Mai to ease her gently into the fact that her boyfriend will be dumping her aristocratic butt for a Water Tribe babe. (YEAH!!)

"This will be the first of a series of messages, Yin. Once El Tuerto is back, we will send another."

Yin saluted and said in a low voice.

"Consider it done, Master. I'm sending it immediately."

Someone then grabbed her elbow. She knew those fingers and the smell of saffron, sandalwood and summer breeze. She tried to hide her smile while the fingers dragged her away, after briefly saluting Yin. He took her to a corridor or something outside the hall.

"Where are we going?" She asked.

"Some place we can talk in private." Aang said, resolution on his voice. She then said, helpfully.

"Try a closet." That was obviously a new possibility for Aang, because in a second she found herself in a confined space, with him.

"Toph." Aang started, his voice all purpose and resolve. "I cannot do this to Katara. It's not honorable. We need to stop seeing each other."

Toph felt a mix of tenderness, pity and annoyance at his words.

"OK." She said shrugging her shoulders. "I can't see you anyway, I'm blind." He stood there, at a loss for words.

"That's it?" He asked, and there was surprise and anger in his voice.

"What else do you want me to say? You're, I believe, breaking up with me."

She heard him opening and closing his fingers on his staff, debating between the right thing to do and the really confusing thing that he wanted to do. She decided to help. She started caressing one of his ears.

"Stop that." He said, without meaning it.

"That thing with my feet last night, how long have you been thinking about stuff like that?" She asked. His voice was tiny.

"A long time." She grabbed his other ear for leverage and pulled his face to hers to kiss him. That was it for the monk. He let go of the staff and grabbed her instead. When she broke up the kiss, he leaned his forehead against hers. "I've all _these _thoughts going on in my head, and it's getting worse by the minute. My imagination is killing me. And then, you …" he stopped for a moment and decided to say it anyway "you _like_ _me_. And I _like _you. And when we kiss, I can feel you responding to me, and I respond to you and I don't want it to stop."

She felt so sad for him, and was surprised by the fact that she was starting to care more about his feelings and confusions than hers.

"How can something that feels so good be wrong?" He asked to himself. "Is not honorable." He insisted. She tried to help, without breaking the code of secrets.

"Twinkle Toes, if you are really planning to repopulate the temples with airbenders and reinstate the ways of the monks, you cannot afford monogamy." He sighed deeply.

"I'm afraid of that." He confessed. "I'm afraid of facing the fact that _I_ may be a monogamous person. My imagination focuses on one thing, and once I'm set on something it's like I cannot conceive anything else."

She kept caressing his ear.

"That's what makes you an energybender. You cannot bend energy unless you're unbendable yourself. You see, T.T., you being stubborn is your more annoying but most effective trait. If it wasn't because of it, you would not have been able to overcome Ozai and bend his energy."

He kept leaning against her.

"That's the point" He said. "I may not be that unbendable. Lately, I've been focusing on something else. Someone else."

'KNOCK-KNOCK!"

Someone knocked on the closet door impatiently. Aang jumped so high that he hit his head against the ceiling. The inconvenience of being an airbender. Toph opened the door perfectly calm.

"Yes?" She asked serenely. She heard chewing.

"What are you guys doing inside a closet?" Sokka asked, his mouth full.

"Is this a closet?" Toph asked surprised, and a little scandalized. "I'm blind, I had no idea we were in a closet." She turned to Aang. "Twinkle Toes, what are we doing in a closet?"

She heard him rubbing the top of his head.

"We are … _hiding_?" He said. She heard Sokka nodding.

"Those fan girls really are annoying, ah?" He was still chewing. Aang recovered his composure.

"Sokka, don't let Zuko see you doing that. How many times has he told you about eating and talking?"

"I know, I know. By the way, everyone is looking for you, Toph. We cannot start unless the object of the Contest is in the Hall."

Toph stepped outside the closet.

"Of course." She said graciously, grabbing Aang's arm as a guide. 'Let's go." They started walking towards the hall. The hag on the back of her head started talking. "_Not even three days and you got the monk cheating, lying and doing closets. Get him to steal and he may be the love of your life"._

0o0o0o0o0o0o00o

"Chief Hakoda of the Now Unified Southern Water Tribes opens the Sixth Session of the General Assembly of the First Official Peace Summit since the End of the One Hundred Year Old War Started by the Fire Nation. The First Order of Things is the Official Opening of the Contest of the Frosts, requested by Kuei, the 52nd Earth King, henceforth referred to as the Earth King, for the hand of Great Master Extraordinaire Toph Bei Fong, First Daughter of the Bei Fong Vassals from the Earth Kingdom Vassal State of Gaoling, henceforth referred to as GM."

Toph was sitting demurely in the middle of what Sokka kept calling her retinue. She had Suki and Katara at either side, and behind her a contingent made up of Aang, Zuko, Sokka, the Pebble, the Hippo, Ty Lee, Captain Yin, Corporal Chin, who had been coaxed out of hiding by a (weirdly) smiling Zuko, Haru, Teo (whose open holding hands had Sokka muttering under breath about the end of the world), the Kyoshi Warriors and Yin's men, all of which were suspiciously intermingled. Somehow, someone had rescued Momo out of the stables, and the winged lemur was wrapped around Zuko. The challenges to the Fire Prince's dignity were becoming more and more of an issue with each passing day in the company of the Avatar's team.

Bato the Herald kept reading.

"The Opening of the Contest of the Frosts starts with the official introduction of the suitors that will be competing for GM's hand. The first suitor, and the one to call on the challenge, is the Earth King. The second…" a polite cough interrupted Bato. By now the Herald was so used to being interrupted that he took it for granted. He stopped reading immediately. The voice of Lu Shi could be heard in the Hall.

"The Earth King will be represented by a champion in the Contest" said Lu Shi. Whispers, exclamations and voices could be heard in the Hall. Chief Hakoda, the representation of Water Tribe dignity (_and hawtness_, said Suki below breath on Toph's ear), stepped forward.

"This is unheard of!" Hakoda said, with indignation. "The challenger won't fight for the maiden himself?"

Lu Shi was both efficient and unemotional.

"The person of the Earth King is sacred. He is the representation on earth of the divinity of the Earth Kingdom and his life cannot be risked in primitive Contests." The word _primitive _went really _well_ with the Water Tribes, Toph could feel it. She wished for Hama to hear that pretty clearly, while at the same time feeling like a firebender again, so angry that she was like a fire nation boiler about to explode. "The Earth King invokes the right to a Champion."

"Kuei!" She called from her side, not caring about anyone around her trying to shut her up. "You cannot even fight your own fights? What kind of a wimp are you?" She was surprised that no one tried to shut her up. Her righteous anger was shared by all, obviously.

"I'm not a wimp." Kuei said coldly. "I play to win."

Toph fumed.

"_Bastard._" She mumbled to her friends. "He knows that even foam guy can beat him, that's the reason why he's doing this. He may be a moron, but he's not stupid."

Chief Hakoda was still offended.

"The right to a Champion? We have no precedent for this!"

"You do." Lu Shi said. "The Dragon Gods chose a mortal to champion the Spirit of the Sun when he was a prisoner of La. And even if that precedent does not apply, there is nothing in the rules prohibiting it, so it is by default, allowed. The Earth King _has_ the right to a Champion."

Master Pakku took a step forward.

"Who is the Champion?"

"The Earth King calls on Avatar Aang, the Last Airbender, to be his Champion!" Lu Shi exclaimed triumphantly. The entire hall came down on an uproar. Aang jumped so fast that even Toph had no time to sense him. He flew to the middle of the hall, and she could see him with her mind's eye, branding the staff and pointing it accusatorily at Kuei.

"I WILL NEVER BE YOUR CHAMPION!" He yelled at the Earth King.

"You cannot refuse, Avatar!" said Lu Shi, stepping forward. "It's your duty to protect and uphold the Earth King's rights, by E.K. 345 you are under a covenant!"

"I DON'T RECOGNIZE ANY COVENANTS WITH YOU! And even if there are Covenants, I'll bet that NOTHING is written about Championing the Earth King on Contests to abuse maidens!" Aang tapped the ice with the staff with so much strength that Toph heard a crack. "Hear me Kuei, and hear me clearly, Toph Bei Fong will NEVER belong to you _through me_."

"Be careful about your words, Avatar." Lu Shi said. "You may regret breaking ancient covenants that are stronger than you or me!"

"I'll break every covenant that forces me to do this!" His voice was controlled and potent, like his power, which Toph could feel was unraveling in the middle of the room.

She heard the crack again, followed by several smaller cracks, like rushing of feet towards her and suddenly she realized that the ice was cracking. Around her, and _only _around her. Toph felt it breaking under her, under the bamboo mats that were covering the floor. She stood up in alarm.

"Toph, what's happening?" She heard Katara and then a gasp. The bamboo splintered and she felt fingers made of water grabbing her ankles, which then started dragging her down.

"KATARA!!" She yelled, and felt searing pain while a fireball singed her boots and skin, steaming the water fingers away.

"KATARA, GET TOPH!" Zuko yelled, jumping like a cat next to her. She tried to recoil on her hands and feet, but the ice kept breaking around her and what felt like a thousand iced water fingers kept trying to grab her.

"SWEETN…" Toph tried to scream but iced water ropes enveloped her, covering her mouth. She felt the searing pain of the freezing water choking her senses while she was being dragged to the bottom. She fought for her life and her freedom, against the cold, the fingers and the water, afraid as she had never been before. She could hear Zuko and Katara yelling, she could feel Sokka and Suki hands trying to get hold of her, waterbenders bending the water away while firebenders were trying to steam the water away. She heard a roar and a gust of wind seemed to hit her from under the water and she felt a massive wave bringing her up to the surface. She fell over bamboo, with a painful slam, in a muddle of water, gasping for air. She felt it _immediately. _The ice was cracking again. Aang was yelling at Sokka.

"Sokka, catch it!" She heard Aang throwing something at Sokka and she knew it to be Appa's whistle. She knew it was that because _that_ was what she would have done. She could feel Katara, Zuko and Aang bending around her like there was no tomorrow.

"I can't hold the water, Aang!" Katara was yelling "It's too powerful!!"

"I know!!" He answered, while she heard Zuko screaming.

"Uncle! Behind you! The Water!" She realized that the water was not only after her now, it was attacking everybody, the entire hall.

"Pakku!!" Iroh's voice was as powerful as the bender himself "HERE!! WE NEED TO EVACUATE THE HALL!!"

Suki was grabbing her arms, while the water fingers were trying to grab her ankles again.

"Toph, we need to run!"

"NO SUKI! While I'm on ice, everyone is at risk! YOU RUN, NOW!!"

Toph pushed Suki away from her, brazed herself and stood up on the ice, letting the iced water fingers grab her legs. Before they could drag her away again, though, a blast of fire steamed the fingers and someone grabbed her by the waist, jumping in the air, flying her away. Before she could react, she felt herself being dropped on top of Appa's saddle. On Air. Away from the ice and the water. She grabbed Appa's fur with so much emotion that tears started flowing from her eyes without her noticing.

"Katara, Zuko, on Appa!" She heard Aang giving orders, while Sokka was steering.

"Suki, take my hand!" Sokka yelled and she felt Suki dropping like a sack next to her. Soon she felt Katara, Zuko and finally Aang on top of Appa. Even Momo was there, curling on top of her.

"What's happening?" She screamed, afraid.

Suddenly there was silence.

"LOOK!" Katara exclaimed "The water is retreating! The ice is mending!"

"I knew it!" Toph said in disbelief "That thing was after me!"

"At least no one else seems to be at risk for now." Aang said, and she felt him fly away, probably to talk to the heads of State.

"Sokka, fly low, I need to jump." Zuko said, commanding tone again. Sokka obeyed, but as soon as they got close to the ice and Zuko jumped, he steered up abruptly.

"That thing can feel you Toph!" He said "The water was coming out again as soon as we got close!"

Katara and Suki embraced her. Toph felt like crying. And a crying Toph was not a sight anyone was used to.

"Lucky me." She said shivering, her teeth chattering from the freezing cold and her wet clothes. Katara quickly bent the water away from her clothes and hair. However, she was still shaking from the cold, albeit this time it seemed to come from inside her. In an uncommon attack of self pity, Toph lowered her head on Katara's shoulder. "I'm being chased by ice. BY ICE! I'm the greatest earthbender in the world, no, wait, the only metal bender in the world, on top of ice, which right now, is chasing me." She hid her head in her arms. "I want my mommy!" Katara gasped. Toph raised her head. "I'm _exaggerating._" She felt obligated to add.

She then heard Aang yelling from below and Sokka steered Appa again closer to the ice and Aang and Zuko both jumped on the saddle. Sokka steered up fast.

"Fly away, Sokka." Aang ordered, slumping on Appa's back.

"Where to?" Sokka asked.

"The closest island made of earth." Aang answered. "Zuko, you know these waters, you used to navigate around here." Zuko nodded.

"Go North-West, there is a small island before reaching the islands closer to the Southern Air Temple." Zuko said. "It shouldn't take more than a couple of hours."

"So," Sokka asked "What's the plan?"

"I need to travel to the Spirit World." Aang said resolutely. "I need to find out what's going on."

Toph perked up immediately.

"If you go, I'm going too. I have a vested interest in this matter, and it's personal. That thing just tried to kill _me._"

She heard him nod, and felt him turning towards Zuko.

"Actually Champ," the firebender said. "I just spoke with my uncle and my mom. Precisely about that. We are ALL going with Aang to the Spirit World."


	17. Trip to the Spirit World, Part I

**_More Fan Art!! Yupiiii!! _**_(copy, delete spaces and paste or just click on my profile for the links)_

_1) The Amazing Toph Bei Fong (look at that dress!)  
_

_http: / / luna-wannabe dot deviantart dot com / art / Toph-Matter-of-Honor-96362230_

_2) Katara's (in)famous hairdo  
_

_http: / / luna-wannabe dot deviantart dot com / art / Katara-s-Hair-AMoH-96457622_

_3) The Totally Adorable Aang_

_http : / / luna-wannabe dot deviantart dot com / art / Aang-MoH-planning-WIP-96772955  
_

_THANK YOU Luna-wannabe! I love you! xxxoooxxx :-)_

_.  
_

* * *

**XVII. Trip to the Spirit World, Part I **

Appa flew high, as far away from the sea as possible. Sokka was steering, facing the freezing wind of the Pole bravely. Toph was still trembling, chilled to the marrow of her bones. Aang bended hot air on her, making her hair spiky but succeeding in warming her.

Sokka turned his head toward the group.

"What was _that _that attacked us_?_" He yelled over the wind, still in shock.

"That was La." Aang answered somberly. "The Spirit of the Ocean. I will recognize him anywhere."

Zuko reclined against Appa's saddle.

"He's terrifying." He muttered. "He killed Zhao in front of me, back at the North Pole."

"Was that after you throw me against a pole and gave me a bump?" Katara moved next to Zuko and forced him to touch her head. "Here, feel it? It's still there." Zuko sighed.

"Katara, how many times have I apologized already?"

"I don't care, you'll have to apologize for as long as I have the bump or for as long as I remember, that's the way it works." She said unflinchingly. He made a deep bow, probably putting his fist against his open palm.

"I'm sorry Master Katara Water Tribe for throwing you against a pole and giving you a bump. My heart bleeds for you and your pain." He said tiredly. She seemed happy. Suki was open mouthed.

"How many times had she made you do that?"

"You don't want to know. I'm just happy that this time she left out the tree."

"What tre…" Before she could finish Toph jumped on Suki covering her mouth.

"No Suki, not on our time. You ask Sweetness that question on your own time." Katara was about to talk, but Toph put a finger against her nose "Don't even think about it."

Sokka interrupted.

"So Aang, why do we all have to go the Spirit World? I understand you and Toph, and maybe me, as I've Spirit World experience, but what about the rest?"

Zuko answered instead of Aang.

"Besides helping Aang and Toph, I need to go because I need to sort something out." He said cryptically. "Your sister is coming to help me sort that out. If the four of us go without bringing you along, we will never hear the end of it. If you come, Suki has to come. That's basically it."

Toph thought that the explanation made no sense, but Sokka's standards regarding sanity were obviously different than hers, because he seemed happy with the answer. Aang added.

"Those maybe Zuko's reasons, but I also think that it will be easier to face whatever we may find over there if we are together. We make a good team."

Sokka assented.

"Well, if that is the case we need to come up with a plan about _how _to get to the Spirit World. Is not like six mortals can happily wander in there, just because."

'That was the reason of my conversation with Uncle and Mother." Sparky said. "Both of them have been to the Spirit World. And both of them came back."

Sokka raised his hand, waiving it.

"Hello? Spirit World traveler here!" He sounded proud. "I've been to the Spirit World and I can tell you that we need to go to the bathroom first. No bathrooms in the Spirit World."

Aang interrupted him. He had moved closer to Toph in the saddle, to make sure that she was dry and not about to die from hypothermia. He then noticed her burned boot and ankle.

"Toph, you're hurt!" He exclaimed. She hadn't even registered the pain. Katara immediately sprung into action.

"You should have told me you were hurt!" She scolded, bending water on her ankle and starting the healing. "Zuko, you need to be more careful!"

"Next time I'm saving her life, I will!" He retorted. Toph raised two fingers.

"This is the second time you've burned me, Sparky. I deserve at least another day of slavery from you. Preferably when you are Fire Lord."

Zuko ignored her.

"It's not going to be easy to travel to the Spirit World." He said. "My uncle and my mom managed to travel there because they had strong anchors in the Spirit World. My uncle was searching for Lu Ten and my mom was being protected by her grandfather Roku."

Suki did not auto censored herself, like the rest.

"Protecting her from what?" She asked innocently.

"From going crazy. When she was my father prisoner, she got to spend a lot of time in the Spirit World." Zuko answered darkly. His voice made it clear that he was not going to delve further in the topic.

Toph finally understood the feelings the Lady Ursa will inspire in her, and in everyone around for that matter. The feeling that she was made of a strong _and _unsubstantial material. She also understood that feeling she would get from Zuko about his mom. He would always make sure that she was physically closer to where he was. Since rescuing her, he would try to get her to travel with him wherever he was going, and if not possible because he was in some type of military trip, he would write to her by messenger hawk almost every day. It suddenly made sense to her also his fervent declaration earlier that Katara would go with him wherever he was going. She understood the full extent of what he meant. Sparky had reached some internal decision about her friend, probably made some truce with himself, and it meant that he would not risk losing her again. She just knew it. So the trip to the Spirit World was probably his quest to sort out, or may be even defy, the message from the swamp tree.

"The anchors are going to be a problem." Said Sokka, the Foremost Authority on Spirit World travels. "We don't have them. Aang has like one thousand anchors, maybe he can lend us some. Last time I was in the Spirit World I was kidnapped. Maybe Hei Bai can be my anchor, we bonded and everything."

Zuko sounded doubtful.

"Actually, uncle suggested to use each others as anchors. He said that a life owes a life. And that if everyone here has saved each other's life at least once, we could anchor to each other, and _then _anchor to Aang. That way we could travel together, and then come back together."

Suki and Katara started doing the math.

"Let's see, Zuko and I saved each other lives the day of the comet." Katara stopped for a second "In fact, that was the second time he saved my life. He save me from being crushed by crumbling rocks once."

"Well, you three saved my life when you didn't let me die in the middle of a blizzard in the North Pole." Zuko intervened.

Aang added.

"Katara saved my life after I was shot by Azula."

"Suki saved Sokka and me the day of the comet, we were facing death like … in our faces." Toph supplemented.

"Aang saved me and my village when Zuko attacked us." Added Suki.

"Toph saved all of us when Wan Shi Tong tried to kill us by burying us alive in his library." Aang said.

"Hey! Zuko and I totally saved each other at the Boiling Rock!" Sokka yelled happily from Appa's head. "We were so good at saving each other, it was like the stuff of legends! We grabbed each other like _this,_" he braced his own arms, "and we did not let go!" Sokka stopped for a moment. "That was _so_ _not_ manly." He then said with horror, probably to himself.

They made a quick recount. The math worked.

"We need to be _strong _anchors of each other, though." Zuko insisted. "Uncle and Mother said that we only get to come back if we have strong anchors in the real world, as well as in the Spirit World and we are going to be functioning as each other anchors on both sides. If our bonds are not strong enough, we won't make it."

"What were your Uncle and Mother anchors on this side?" Katara asked.

"Me." Zuko said simply and there was this sentiment on his voice that made Katara gasp a sob.

Toph felt Katara getting close to Sparky and touching his face. She also felt Aang looking at them, but could not pick up any particular reaction from Aang, neither negative or positive. He seemed serene.

"The bond is trust." Aang said. "More than saving a life, the bond is created by trusting each other _precisely_ because we saved a life."

Katara moved her hand away from Zuko, but stayed physically close. She hugged her knees.

"Trust in what?" She asked.

"In that whatever the situation or the circumstances, each of us would risk his or her life for the other. If we don't have that certainty, we shouldn't try to do this."

They all looked at each other, except Toph being as she was, blind. She was the first one to talk, though.

"I know all your secrets." She announced. "So I know what I'm talking about when I say that the bond is there. There is no circumstance, no sentiment, that would impede anyone here from trusting his or her life in the hands of anyone in this group."

Someone grabbed her hand. Aang. Who then put each of their hands on top of hers. Sokka had to scrambled from Appa's head to put his on top.

"Trust." Aang said, and he sounded like he did at the Hall before the cracking of the ice. Powerful and potent. Toph felt that she could die right there, she just found his voice _so sexy. _"We trust each other, we get there and we make it back. Remember that anger and resentment are the enemies of trust. So let go of those before the trip."

"You can use the bathroom break to let go of ..." Sokka started, but was hushed by a couple of disgusted women.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

They arrived at the small island not long after the trust conversation. When Appa landed and Toph climbed down the saddle, she felt on her knees in the soil and started kissing the earth like a lover. She started caressing the dirt, talking to it using small words, rubbing her face against it, apologizing for her absence and declaring her passion in such a way that her friends had to turn away blushing. Sokka was the one to break up the moment.

"Toph!" He called. "Stop making out with the mud and go take your bathroom break. We have a trip to make!"

She couldn't let go, though.

"I'm back, I'm back." She kept saying in a tiny, sweet voice to a piece of rock while at the same time showering it with kisses and tears. "I am so sorry I ever left you, _my precious_."

"I've seen weird stuff hanging out with the Avatar." Sokka said aloud. "But this the first time I see an earthbender giving gravel the tongue. Someone please, put that rock out of its misery!"

Zuko next to him was open mouthed.

"I'm scarred for life." He said. "And I'm not talking about my face."

Aang had to intervene. He kneeled next to Toph and started making circles on her back with his open hand. Firm caresses that calmed her down somewhat.

"Toph," he said softly, "I promise you that after this is over, I will take you to the biggest earth playground in the known world. I'll take you to the Grand Canyon, and you are going to be able to throw boulders at Canyon Crawlers and everything."

Toph raised her face from the ground.

"You promise Twinkle Toes?" She asked, her tears running freely, mixing with the dirt. He removed a strand of hair from her face and put it behind her ear.

"I promise. Word of Avatar." He said. She still couldn't let go. She went back to try kissing a rock when he grabbed her chin with his fingers. "You can keep the rock with you Toph, it will help you as an anchor too. Love is usually the strongest anchor of all." He said sweetly. She threw her arms around his neck.

"Really?" She asked, her face on his neck, probably dirtying him with mud made of dirt and tears.

"Really. Come on, let's get you cleaned up." He help her stand up and gave her to Katara and Suki, who took her away to clean her while she kept saying terms of endearments to the rock.

Katara cleaned her face with her fighting water, and Suki help her remove the winter boots she was forced to use in the South Pole. As soon as her feet touched earth again, tough, she was lost. Toph started running around, like a madwoman, singing lullabies and dancing. She would wave her arms in the air, and suddenly, she would throw herself on the ground, and start making dirt angels. Even Sokka had the decency not to laugh.

"Next time we plan a reunion," he said pensively, while watching Toph bending columns of earth around her, giggling like a little kid "let's chose a more earth-friendly place." He turned to Katara. "That was very insensitive of you, planning your wedding in a place like the South Pole. Look what the place had done to Toph."

Katara was exasperated.

"Sokka, the South Pole is our home, get it?"

"I'm just saying." He mumbled. "It's like moving you to the desert. Not fair."

Katara wrapped her arms around herself.

"I know." She said full of compassion. "That was very insensitive of us."

Toph suddenly started dancing in her feet.

"I CAN SEE YOU!!" She was singing "I can see all of you!!" She stopped. "Suki, honestly, you need to let go of that Kyoshi outfit. It's horrible."

Aang called their attention.

"We don't have much time to lose." He said, sitting on the ground in lotus position. "We need to make it to the Spirit World soon, before La starts attacking the Water Tribes again looking for Toph."

They all came to where he was and made a circle, assuming lotus positions. Toph was the last one to sit down.

"Remember," Aang said, "there is no bending in the Spirit World."

Toph stood up.

"No, no, no, I refuse, refuse!!" Aang pulled at her hand.

"No bending for a couple of hours or your death by drowning, you choose." He said sternly. Toph sat back.

"You make a compelling argument." She said. The other four were looking at each other. "Whaa?" She asked ill humored.

"It's just that Aang is usually not that … blunt." Katara said, surprised.

"Toph doesn't do subtle." Aang said with finality. "OK, pay attention, we need to meditate."

Truth be told, four of the six mortals trying to enter the Spirit World were not meditation material. That presented a challenge. Even with a very powerful Avatar capable of very fancy bending and a very focused firebender with iron willpower (unless certain waterbender was around, of course), trying to rein in Sokka two minute attention span; Toph's caresses to the ground she was sitting on while mumbling '_my precious_' in a creepy, raspy voice; Katara's constant need to sneak glances at the group, particularly in the direction of the firebender; and Suki's total disregard for the basics of meditation, proved a little too much.

"Guys!!" Aang yelled, frustrated. "This is important!"

Zuko came up with the solution. He shuffled everyone's position, without explaining why. He sat Aang and clockwise from him were Toph, Suki, Sokka, Zuko, and Katara. Toph understood the logic in a minute. Aang saved Toph who saved Suki who saved Sokka who saved Zuko who saved Katara who saved Aang. Besides, the word 'saved' could easily be replaced by the word 'trust". The circle worked backwards too. Also, Zuko gave very specific orders.

"We all need to be touching. Let's get closer together in the circle until our knees are touching. Like that. Aang will travel first, and then he will pull on all of us, but for that we need to be linked. We travel in a chain. Remember, we _are_ the chain. For that we also need to be in deep meditation state. Katara, you need to hover two circles of water on your hands, like I do with fire, and concentrate and look only at the water. Toph, do the same with earth. Sokka, put your sword on your knees, and focus on it. Suki, hold a fan on each hand and focus your energy on them. Momo, shut up. Appa, don't eat anything weird while we are away."

Toph thought that Zuko was a born Fire Lord and a born father. She then closed her eyes and two small whirlwinds of earth started hovering over the palms of her hands. To be in contact with the earth again was all that she needed. To be focusing on the earth again was the closest she had been to a true homecoming. Her mind started hovering, distracted and then it went completely blank. It focused in one single point, the earth in her fingers and suddenly the world around her stopped. She couldn't hear anyone or anything anymore. She was one with the earth, as she was supposed to be. She felt a pull, it was not a physical pull, it was more like someone tugging at her from the inside and unraveling her towards the outside. She found herself flying, but it was not a physical feeling. More like unwrapping. She suddenly found herself in a golden, desolate landscape. It took her a moment to realize that she was … _seeing. _She was seeing a landscape, that she felt was eerie, but that she could also _see _was eerie. Toph turned on herself. She stomped the floor and nothing happened. No bending and somehow, seeing. For the first time in her life, things were not felt, or understood based on dimensions, things were … there and she could see them. She thought that she should be overwhelmed by the fact, but somehow she wasn't. She could see and in the Spirit World, seeing made sense. She turned and noticed that there were figures standing next to her and looking at each other. That was the moment that it hit her. She was seeing her friends. The way they _looked_. Their physical appearance. She gasped. She recognized their shapes, their dimensions, but this was more. These were the details denied to her. The color of the hair, the length of the lashes, the fullness of a mouth, the shade of the skin. All was there for her and _that_ feeling, the one of seeing her friends for the first time, was overwhelming.

Toph walked towards the figure closer to her. It was Katara. She extended her hand to touch Katara's face who looked at her in return, surprised.

"Toph!" She said. "Your eyes! They are … focusing."

"I can see you." Toph said in a very low voice, and a feeling in her chest told her that if she were in the real world, it would be exploding. " I can see you, all of you…" She turned to look at each of them. And then she extended her hands, and started touching their faces. She couldn't stop looking at them or touching them for that matter, even if in the Spirit World touching was not tactile. It was like rubbing her essence with theirs, beautiful and insubstantial at the same time. She felt her eyes brim with spirit tears. Well, the soul of her tears.

"I wish," she said, her voice for once utterly pure, without sarcasm or double entendres, "that I was in the real world so I can kiss each of you, for real. I want to memorize your faces, I don't want to forget them ever." She turned to Katara. "Sugarcakes, you are as beautiful as people say you are. Your eyes, look at the color of your eyes! And your hair! Oh, Sparky look at you! You are so … stunning. That scar! So emo! By earth, you are like the perfect embodiment of intensity! Can you remove your shirt in the Spirit World? I want to know what all the hoopla is about. It's OK, no need to look so panicky. Oh, Suki, my goodness, look at your eyes. So big, so outstanding. And the Kyoshi makeup, as atrocious as I expected, when you bury the Code scroll, please include the uniform and the make up. Sokka! Oh, Sokka! You are so not like I imagine you! You are less handsome, but more attractive. Look at your eyes too! Oh, by earth, you are so … sexy-ugly! No wonder you guys have so many fans!" She left the best for last. She turned to Aang and had to take her hands to her chest first. "T.T." She said sweetly, and she caressed his face with every atom of her own spirit. "You look like you sound. Light, so full of light. Look at your mischievous face, you are a trickster! And look at your tattoos!! By earth, so freaky looking, I totally love them. And those ears, they are huge, like your eyes! And your head, your neck. You are not ugly, hey no one told me you were not ugly. You are quite the cutie, actually. Very, _very _cute. I would actually say _handsome. _TT, those eyes of yours are _sooo_ smoldering! Oh, but look at you, blushing in the Spirit World and everything! I want to see myself, I need a mirror!"

Her friends were smiling with her and at her, she knew it, but she didn't care. And she did notice that, regardless of whatever they may say, the five of them also had tears in their eyes. She seeing them for the first time was as powerful to them as it was for her. Katara took her hand and walked her to a pool of ghostly water nearby. Toph kneeled and for the first time saw her reflection in the water, that was perfectly still but felt like a breathing mirror. She opened her mouth, and smiled one of her sunny smiles, and instead of touching the surface of the water, she touched her own face.

"Look at me." She said in wonder. "I'm quite the cutie-pie too!" She turned to them, and their smiles told her that they thought so too. She remembered something that she had overheard once, about herself. It made no sense at the time, but it did now. She turned to look at herself in the water. "I'm a green eyed brunette, how's that for stunning?" She said proudly. "No wonder Kuei likes me, I sound _and _look good. Poor guy was a goner the moment he met me." She stood up and twirled. "You know what's the most extraordinary thing of all is?" She asked them honestly. "That when we go back to the real world, and the years go by, and you all become old, ugly and hairy, I will always remember you like today. You will always look like this to me." She stopped for a moment. "So Suki, please, get rid of the makeup now, this is not the memory I want of you."

Sokka was the one that seemed kind of unhappy with the idea.

"This is the way you will always remember me? Because I was hoping that maybe you would picture me with more muscle, you know."

She put her hands on her hips.

"You know what? You're right! This South Pole garb is the pits. I want to see some _skin. _This is the first, and likely the last time, that I will be able to see how you look, so chop-chop, clothes off, guys. I want to see the goods. I've been hearing about the goods for several years now!" The friends looked at each other, mildly frightened. "Only the boys, guys, I'm really not interested in girls." She felt compelled to add.

"Toph, we know that you seeing is quite the extraordinary event." Sokka started saying. "But when you say you want to see some skin, Do you mean _all_?_"_

"Are you willing to do the Full Monty?" She asked alarmed, albeit … hopeful.

"Of course not!"

"Then, shirts only." She said happily. Aang, Zuko and Sokka looked at each other, uncomfortable, and Katara intervened exasperated.

"Well guys, is not like any of you is the embodiment of modesty. You're always shedding clothes off, so what's the problem now? This is a BIG thing in Toph's life, we all know that. I mean, _none_ of this is new to any of you! So, what are you waiting? Parkas off!!"

Suki and Toph started singing in unison: "Parkas off! Parkas off! Oh! First Parka down! YES!!"

The first one to let go of the winter garb was Zuko.

"Just because we need to get going." He muttered, while unbuttoning his very stylish parka-meets-royal-robe.

Freaking Fire Prince was like _born_ for the thing. He removed the parka with a smirk on his face, between annoyed and bemused, and Toph knew that if they were in the real world, Katara would be on the floor in spasms. He seemed uncomfortable with the applause, the whistles and the chanting, but he was a trooper and complied. Being that this was the Spirit World, the striptease had the same quality of lack of substance. Like every piece of clothes that he shed could either disappear or remain, it made no difference. He finally stood there only in black pants and boots. Toph whistled. She finally understood why Katara had been acting like firemating season had been declared officially open.

"No wonder Sunshine keeps taking you back." She said aloud, instead. "If she did so even after a _singing courier,_ I'm afraid to ask what else there is to see, I may never recover. "

Sokka was now eager for his moment under the eerie light. His striptease was less sexy because it was kind of rushed and he shed clothes in a hurry, without Zuko's deliberate movements, but it was not disappointing.

"Look at those arms!" Suki said proudly. "You're as built as your papa, now!" Sokka showed up some muscle. Toph whistled too.

"I can remember you like this, Sokka." She said happily. "I don't need to add false muscles to you!" Sokka was so pleased that his chest expanded four inches right there.

They turned to Aang, who was standing aside, smiling at the entire scene. The girls applauded and whistled. He blushed fiercely, and Toph wondered how can someone look so cute with a purple face.

"Why are you blushing?" Sokka asked in wonder. "You would be running around naked in the South Pole if it wasn't because Zuko got those parkas made for you in Air Nomads colors. The fur is fake," he informed Toph. "Aang doesn't do real animal furs." He then added in a low voice. "And thanks to Zuko for the chic parkas, the orange blanket-toga-meets-sarong look Aang was sporting for a while was really cramping our style. To give you an idea, I preferred him nude."

"I'm not blushing!" He said defensively, playing with the clasps of his parka. Katara took a step forward and started helping him unbutton, but after the second clasp he put his hand on top of hers and made a gesture. "Let me do it" he said. She stepped aside and he unclasped his parka slowly. He shed clothes with grace, the movements of someone used to flow with the breeze, and Toph thought that he was striking when he was done. His skin was pale, an ivory contrast with his blue tattoos. In anyone else those tattoos would have had her coming up with all sort of nicknames, but in him all she could do was to think that they were sinuous and inviting, and she made a point of memorizing them so she could trace them with her fingers if they ever went back to the real world.

He was not as tall as Zuko, but he was almost as tall as Sokka, and he was built beautifully. All energy and suppleness. Even the other two young women, who were used to seeing him running around semi-naked, suddenly realized that Aang had grown.

"Wow, Aang." Suki said. "I think I haven't seen you without clothes in over a year. You've definitively _changed_."

Toph knew Suki's tone and that her comment was truly a compliment. Katara was surprised, her arms crossed over her chest. She looked even coy.

"Aang ..." Her voice was … interested. "You've grown. How come we didn't notice …?"

"I'm always in winter clothes when I visit you at the South Pole." He said simply. The _unsaid, _which was the fact that his own fiancée had no idea what was under the winter garb, was left out there, hanging in the air. Even Sokka's expression was slightly pinched. Not like he would have preferred to hear otherwise, but confirming the fact was just … not right. Toph diffused the silence.

"Twinkle Toes, you're a _fiiiine_ looking monk! _Niiiiiice_!!" She applauded, "If I were one of your fans I'll throw rocks at you!"

"Underwear." Katara corrected.

"He wishes!" Toph said, still grinning, "I'm better at rocks. Coming from me, that's a compliment."

"OK!" Zuko said. "We've given you some memories, it's time we get going."

Toph was still rocking on her feet, grinning.

"Not yet, not yet. Do some bending movements!" Zuko groaned.

"Toph." He started, but she was unflinching.

"You owe me. One day of slavery. I'm cashing in right now. You too Sokka. Some bending, some sword playing, whatever. I don't care. I just want to see."

"What about Aang?" Suki asked "Aren't you cashing on him?" Toph couldn't confess that she had _emptied_ that bank already, so she shrugged. He came to the rescue.

"She is." Aang said and assumed a firebending posture opposite Zuko, who was rolling his eyes, but deep down was probably flattered.

Toph sat on the ground, and Katara went to sit with her, but Toph stopped her.

"You too. I want to see real waterbending movements. I'm cashing in you too. Join the crowd." She turned to Suki, who raised her arms.

"I know, I know, I'm removing the makeup. I don't even know if you can remove makeup in the Spirit World."

"It's insubstantial, like the clothes, you can remove it and then wish it back or something." Toph said, assuming spectator position. "OK guys, start!"

Bending without bending was not the same, she knew that, but all she cared about was the movement, the bodies, the grace. The jumping, the laughs. Suki removed the make up and Toph thought that she was absolutely beautiful. She made Suki do stuff with her fans and for a moment there she wished for Iroh, Appa, Momo and her parents to have made it with them to the Spirit World just for her to be able to see them once, but it was what it was. She was applauding, when she felt a presence behind her. She turned and saw a tall, elegant, sober looking old gentleman dressed in fire nation colors, with his hands in his sleeves.

"Oh, hello." She said bowing, knowing by the warmth on his eyes that this was a good Spirit.

"Well, hello Aang's friend." The gentleman said smiling. The others stopped with their movements. Aang ran towards the gentleman.

"Roku!" He exclaimed, and hugged the older Avatar so tight that if wasn't because of the lack of corporeality in the Spirit World, they both would have ended in the ground.

"Hello Aang." Roku was smiling a disarming smile. "I'm happy that there is peace in the world, but I'm sad that I don't get to see you that often anymore." He looked at the young Avatar with appreciation. "And you have grown, you're quite the young man now." Roku looked around. "And you brought your friends, your war heroes with you. I'm so happy to see that."

Aang grabbed Zuko's arm, pulling him in front of him.

"There's someone you need to meet, Roku. This is Zuko." Roku's eyes were full of emotion the same way that Zuko's were suddenly full of spirit tears. The young prince kneeled and bowed down with his forehead against the ground.

"Great-grandfather." He said. "I'm honored." Roku bent and grabbed him by the arms, making him stand up.

"No, Crown Prince." Roku said, a quiver in his voice. "_I_'m honored. You redeemed my mistakes and those of my friend's Sozin, also your great-grandfather. You represent the best our Nation has to offer the world, you're the reason why no more mothers mourn their children and no more children mourn their fathers." Toph could see from where had Zuko inherited his tall elegance. Katara had once said that Ozai was disturbingly handsome, but that Zuko had a bearing that dwarfed his father's. Zuko's voice was also full of emotion.

"Great-grandfather, thank you for saving my mother." He said, bowing again. Roku kept his hands on the Prince's arms.

"My son, if you or anyone in your family ever needs me, I'll be there. I'll always be an anchor for you here." The old Avatar turned to the others. "Let me introduce myself, friends of Aang. I'm Roku." He bowed deeply. The friends bowed even deeper. They were awed.

"Isn't this extraordinary?" Sokka said. "You're like Zuko's granpa and Aang at the same time, doesn't that make Aang like his own father or something?" Toph had again that feeling that her sanity and Sokka's resided not in different parallels but in different dimensions. The old Avatar seemed amused, however.

"You must be Sokka." He said knowingly. "Aang speaks highly of you." He turned to the others. "And you must be Katara, the Waterbending Master." He bowed lower still. "Aang's intended. I can see you're as good as you're beautiful, my child. I can see it in your soul." He stopped for a second, like wondering at something, but seemed to think the better of it. "And you," he turned toward Toph, "you must be the only known metal bender in the history of bending." Roku was looking directly in Toph's eyes, and _that_ was a weird feeling. Even if in the Spirit World all rules of physicality did not apply, she still felt that, by looking into her eyes, the elderly ghost was somehow reaching inside and pulling things out. Particularly, all the secrets, the furtive thoughts and actions that she kept concealing, about herself and everyone else. Roku must have learned more that he was bargaining for, because he said: "You have an old soul, my child. A very old soul." And then, he winked. He actually winked at her. She didn't know how a wink looked before, but as everything else in this place, it just made sense. He turned to Suki, with the same placid smile. "There is someone who will be very happy to meet you. Please my child, let me introduce you to Avatar Kyoshi."

Suki gasped, and with her all the other friends. Toph saw this HUGE ghost walking towards them, in full Kyoshi regalia, including tassels framing the face. What in Suki look like a festive costume, in Kyoshi was frankly intimidating. Almost scary. The Avatar was a giant of a woman, and Toph remembered Aang saying once that Kyoshi had the biggest feet, and was the longest living, of all Avatars in history. She lived like 250 years or something like that. Now that she saw her, Toph made the steadfast decision of never wanting to know what was written in the Code. She refused to picture the Giant doing anything else but throwing rocks, like good scary Giants do. Anything else should, and would, be auto-censored.

Suki fell to her knees, bowing until touching the ground with her forehead.

"Avatar Kyoshi, I'm deeply honored." Her voice was trembling. Avatar Kyoshi look down from her height, and bowed in return.

"Where's your warrior make-up?" She asked. Toph knew it. This was a cranky Avatar. So much for the _happy _warrior code. "I'm proud of you my child, and how you helped Avatar Aang. But Kyoshi warriors are warriors at all times. Don't forget that." Suki apologized, still groveling, and must have wished the make-up back or something, because she suddenly was looking like Kyoshi's little sister. "That's better." The solemn Avatar said.

Her presence also made the other guys nervous, because they were getting dressed in haste. The only one that did not seem intimidated was Aang. He did not seem to pay Kyoshi much attention, which Toph knew was Aang's passive aggressive way of dealing with people he did not like. Funny thought. Not liking who you were in a past life. Maybe it was like not liking what you did after drinking too much fire whiskey. You'll wake up in the morning, apologize for the concussions, repair the building and move on.

"Well, Aang" Roku asked. "What brings you all to the Spirit World?"

"I want to know about the covenants between the Avatars and the Earth Kings." Aang answered.

Roku seemed confused.

"What covenants?"

"The 52nd Earth King mentioned a covenant. His attorney said that it was number 345 or something like that. I refused the covenant and something, I think it was La, the Spirit of the Ocean, seemed to get really angry. I need to understand the relationship between the Earth Kings, these covenants and La."

Kyoshi was the one who answered.

"The Covenant the Earth King talks about was created between me and the 46th Earth King. As you know, I created the Dai Li to protect the cultural heritage of Ba Sing Se. Besides the Dai Li, I made an extra covenant with the Earth King. For one time only, if he ever needed the help of the Avatar, the help would be freely given. In exchange, the Earth King would rule with justice and protect all citizens within his kingdom."

Aang scratched his head.

"What does that have to do with La?"

"Nothing. I never had contact with the Spirit of the Ocean." Kyoshi said.

Aang tried to piece this together.

"When you say 'help freely given', do you mean that I'm obliged to help the Earth King with whatever he may want?" He asked in disbelief. Kyoshi seemed uncomfortable.

"Well, yes and no. Justice is the key. If the Earth King rules the Earth Kingdom in fairness, and request the help, the help will be given."

"I don't understand how this covenant can bind all future Avatars."

"Because that's how it was drafted."

Toph intervened.

"Let me guess: By his attorneys?"

"Well, yes."

"It's still confusing. The Earth King wants me to do something that it's not honorable. He's invoking the covenant to force me to champion him in a contest to force the hand of this girl in marriage. That's barbaric. And unjust."

Roku looked confused. He went as far as scratching his head.

"I'm puzzled." He confessed politely. "None of the Earth Kings in my time ever claimed such covenant."

"They key is unfairness." Kyoshi insisted. "Is the forced marriage unfair?"

"It is for the girl." Aang said. "The concept of unfairness is a difficult one to define. Arranged marriages are not fair, but they are common and widely practiced. The Earth King is not a bad ruler to his people, he's actually fairly decent. But now he's doing something that's damaging for one person only, Master Bei Fong here. Is that enough to repel this covenant? I still don't understand how all this came to be."

Kyoshi seemed annoyed at the fact that her negotiations skills where being judged by an uppity and _very_ young Avatar.

"Avatar Aang, the covenant reflected the times we were living. The Earth Kings never claimed it during my lifetime nor did they do so during Avatar's Roku's lifetime. This is a one time only covenant. If the Earth Kingdom is being governed in fairness, and the Earth King is making effective the Avatar's promise, the Avatar must comply."

"Even if it's not honorable?"

"You mentioned a Contest. Is the Earth King the creator of the Contest?"

"No, the Contest is a Water Tribe tradition that recreates part of the history of the Ocean with the Moon."

"So the Earth King is not the one who designed the Contest?"

"No. He's only taking advantage of a Water Tribe practice."

"Then, the covenant applies."

Toph interrupted the intimidating Avatar. Even if this woman was scary and domineering, _she_ was the one facing marriage to Kuei.

"Let me get this right: You negotiated a deal where you gave an Earth King, a race that have never been distinguished by their sanity, a blank letter of credit on the Avatar's powers?"

Kyoshi seemed offended.

"There was only one copy of the covenant. _I _ kept the copy! It's hidden in my fans!"

"My family did not become rich for naught! There are couple of things a Bei Fong learns, even before learning to walk: Number One, never, EVER give a blank _anything, _specially letters of credit. Number Two, never, EVER trust an Earth King; and finally, there is NEVER one copy, especially if attorneys are involved. There is always an extra, hidden, _binding_ copy somewhere!!"

Aang intervened before Toph ended like El Tuerto, thanks to one Spirit Fan sticking in her eye. He put a incorporeal hand in her arm as a gesture that it was time to shut up.

"So, Kyoshi, what happens if I decide not to honor the Covenant?"

Kyoshi seemed scandalized.

"You'll be dishonored, Avatar Aang!"

"OK, besides dishonor. Is the sky going to fall, is the ice in the Poles going to melt, are the volcanoes in the Fire Nation islands going to erupt?"

"No, nothing like that. But you cannot keep the respect of the rulers of the nations, you cannot fulfill your role as a balancing force, if your word is worth nothing. The Avatar is not only a force of good and balance, the Avatar is the representation of honor. If you don't respect your honor, no one else will."

Kyoshi words fell like stones in the middle of the group. Toph was fuming. She liked Suki, a lot, but her friend's idol was a very stupid negotiator. And Toph was a Bei Fong, she could not forgive people that were bad at business. Besides the fact that the Giant was the original creator of the Dai Li's (those _evil_ morons)added insult to injury_._

"I understand." Aang said gravely. "I'll fulfill the covenant. The Avatar's honor is at stake. But that also means that whatever attacked us back a the Hall was not the result of me denying the covenant with the Earth King."

"What attacked you, Aang?" Roku asked, concerned.

"La, the Spirit of the Ocean. It was trying to drown Master Bei Fong here."

"I wonder why." Kyoshi said righteously. Toph darted her a venomous look. The Giant returned it.

Roku was serious.

"If La attacked a mortal it must have a reason. La wouldn't do that unless it's motivated by a strong feeling, like revenge."

"Where can I find La?" Aang asked, stubborn determination in his voice. "His physical form is at the North Pole, like Yue's, but I know that I can find Yue in the Spirit World, there must be a way to find La."

Roku assented.

"The best ones to guide you to La are the Dragon Gods or Dragon Kings. These are the gods who rule rivers and oceans, they are the keepers of the balance between water and earth. The Dragon Gods like mortals, they are their defenders. They advocate for them when the Gods are squabbling, and you know how it is, when the Spirits get together, mortals suffer. The Dragon Gods live in the pantheon of the Gods. Here is someone who will guide you to the pantheon."

Roku made an incorporeal gesture with his hand. A big Panda bear showed up. Sokka jumped, immediately.

"Hei Bai!" He screamed with his arms open. The Panda looked at him from head to toe without betraying any recognition. It then walked to Aang and nuzzled him happily. Sokka was offended.

"After everything we were through together, you are going to deny me?" He lowered his voice. "Creepy bear."

Zuko, meanwhile approached his ancestor.

"Great-grandfather, I've a question. If I need to interpret a vision given to me by the Big Sacred Banyan-Grove Tree in the middle of the Foggy Swamp, where can I go? To which Spirit should I talk to?"

Roku seemed pensive.

"Visions given by the swamp can mean the past, the present or the future. But remember, the future is always an elusive thing. There are always as many futures as there are choices. Each choice changes the future, and extinguish all the paths of the choices not taken. The only one who can guide you on that is Destiny, the Goddess of Fate. She also dwells in the pantheon of the Gods."

Zuko bowed deeply to his great-grandfather. Katara, who was standing close gave him a little push. He turned to her in surprise.

"_What?_" he whispered.

"_He's your grandpa. What's with the bowing? Give him a hug._"

"_It's not proper. He's the Avatar and my ancestor. I'm the Crown Prince!_"

"_He's your GRANDPA! When is the next time you're going to see him, ah? Do you come to the Spirit World often?_"

Roku solved the debate. He stepped forward and embraced his descendant. Zuko was moved, and embraced him back. The older Avatar let go and turned to Aang, who hug him as well. Aang then turned to Kyoshi and bowed.

"I'll respect the Covenant. I'll uphold the honor of the Avatars. But once my duty is fulfilled, there won't be more Covenants with the Earth King." There was finality in his voice.

Kyoshi bowed back.

"You will do what is necessary to keep peace and balance, Avatar Aang." She dictated. Kyoshi turned to Suki, who immediately bowed until her forehead touched the spirit ground. "I expect you to uphold the honor and the Code of the Kyoshi at all times. Remember, you head an elite group of warriors. I'm proud of you." Suki seemed to be in the middle of a fangasm. Toph was deeply annoyed. She wondered how can people be friends when having such different taste in heroes. _Those are the little mysteries of life._ Her good, nice conscience said. _Not all friendships are built on what makes us alike, but in what makes us different._

Kyoshi bowed to Sokka, Katara and Zuko. When it was Toph's turn, they looked at each other from head to toe, but none initiated the bow.

"Can you bend metal?" Toph attacked first.

"Can you bend all elements?"

"Doesn't count. That's avatar stuff. From Earthbender to Earthbender. What can you do?"

"I can create islands. I can tumble palaces and mountains with one swipe of my feet."

"That's a no on the metal, then."

Aang intervened before the argument turned to Spirit Blows. He grabbed Toph's arm.

"Toph, we're leaving. Now. Please salute Avatar Kyoshi, like you learned at your home with your very expensive tutors." She looked at him surprised. Aang had been exhibiting some _attitude_ all day. Giving lip and orders around. She _liked it. _"Kyoshi, Toph Bei Fong is a war hero and was instrumental in me defeating Ozai. Without her techniques, that she developed because she's blind in the real world, I would have never be able to sense Ozai. The world is at peace and I'm alive thanks to her. Please, salute each other."

The two EarthBenders sized each other up, and then bowed exactly at the same time, and at the same level. Aang was satisfied.

When Katara bowed to Roku, however, she had a question.

"Avatar Roku, if I would like to find a Spirit, not a God, but the Spirit of a mortal who died years ago, where should I go?"

Roku looked at her pensively.

"There is a place called the Pure Land. It's the dwelling of the deserving mortals who lived a worthwhile life. It's part of the eight Coral Mountains that conform and surround the Pantheon of the Gods. However, you cannot enter the Pure Land if you're alive in the real world. You've to die before entering the Pure Land." He noticed the sadness of her face. "Who are you looking for, my child?"

"My mother. I wanted to thank her for saving my life."

"You may still see her. If the pull of your love is strong enough, she may still be able to leave the Pure Land to see you."

Katara gave him a teary smile while she bowed her farewell. The six friends got on top of Hei Bai. This was definitively the Spirit World and no physical rules applied, because they all fit on top of the Panda. They said goodbye to the Avatars and left.

During the trip to the Pantheon of the Gods, the friends were talking.

"Your great-grandfather is charming, Zuko." Katara was saying. "But you were too formal. You need to be more affectionate with your family."

"The ways of the Fire Nation are different than those of the Water Tribes. We don't do Public Displays of Affection. It's considered improper."

"Uncle Iroh does Public Displays of Affection."

"Uncle is different than the rest of the family."

"Yeah, like taking emotional cues from your family has taken you far in life."

Meanwhile, Toph was talking to Aang.

"That Kyoshi is awful. It must be like a total trauma to dislike that part of yourself."

"I don't dislike Kyoshi."

"Kyoshi is awesome." Suki said dreamily.

"This is the same woman who gave you the Code, Suki." Toph reminded her. "Remember? By the way, I'm telling you right now, _never_ read me the Code, OK? Keep it a mystery from me."

Sokka was in a different train of thought altogether.

"So, Aang. When you do trips down the memory line of your past lives, do you remember _everything_? Do you remember being a girl? Like Kyoshi per example?"

"Of course not. The Avatar wouldn't be able to maintain his or her sanity if he or she kept the memories. It would be too much."

"Too awkward, I'd say. Imagine remembering Kyoshi's boyfriends. Ughh!!" Sokka shuddered.

"Yeah, like Kyoshi isn't _totally _into alternative choices." Toph mumbled. Sokka was open mouthed.

"You think so?"

"Total butch." She said. Suki was about to say something, but she probably remembered something written in the Code because she decided to shut up and let it go.

Eventually, Hei Bai stopped. The place was still strange, filled with unnatural golden light, but now they could see huge doors, framing the entrance of a garden. The friends climbed down from the bear, saluted and Hei Bai nuzzled Aang.

"He'll wait for us, to take us back." The Avatar said.

The friends entered the garden. Voices, far away forgotten voices, could be heard. They were singing songs without lyrics. The place was filled with music that was enchanting and uncanny at the same time. A strange feeling pervaded the garden. I was not dread, but it was not happiness either. It was a heavy feeling, a thick heavy feeling.

"It's time." Aang said suddenly, putting his friends' feelings into words. "We're feeling the weight of time."

They crossed the garden and came to four doors. Each had the symbol of a Nation.

"Which one should we choose?" Katara asked. Aang pointed to the water symbol.

"The Dragon Gods protect the rivers and springs. And they like mortals. That means community. I say we choose the water door."

The friends accepted the proposal. They opened the door and found themselves in what looked like a library. Shelves and shelves filled with scrolls covered the walls, and in the middle of a cozy reading room, four comfy chairs with footstools were tastefully spread. A charming fire flickered in a fireplace in a corner, even though there was no warm emanating from the fire. Actually, more than fire, it seemed like the idea of a fire. The entire place felt like an idea of a place, idyllically executed. The product of the imagination of Gods that admired mortals a bit too much. There were four innocent looking gentlemen sitting on the chairs.

"Good day." Aang spoke first, bowing with respect. "I'm Avatar Aang, are you the Dragon Gods?"

The Dragon Gods looked at the group with interest. One of them, with a long face and slim built, lowered what look like glasses from his nose.

"Well, what have we here? Guys, we have visitors."

A God, scrupulously dressed in black, raised his gaze from the scroll he had been reading. He surveyed the group, and his gaze stopped when it reached Zuko.

"Isn't this Agni's kid?" He asked aloud, to the rest.

"Yeah, it looks like him." Answered a half naked pale God, that was petting some nondescript animal. "Good looking kid, like his sire."

"Yep, that Agni sure makes his descendants look good." Assented the one with the long features.

"What happened to his face?" Inquired another one, the fourth one, with a big headdress crowned with yellow feathers.

"His father went Agni on him" Answered the one in black, who was reading the book, sounding bored.

"That Agni, the family is all about looks but not much about brains." Accepted the pale naked God.

"Yeah, some crazy genes in there, those get recycled often. Usually to the second child." Commented the one with the long face.

"Hey, Agni's kid, you should only have one child. Or get yourself a woman with no Agni genes." The Dragon God with the yellow feathers warned him.

Zuko was speechless. Actually, so were the rest of the friends. Aang tried to rescue the effort.

"Dragon Gods, please let us introduce ourselves." He started. The pale naked God raised a hand.

"We know who you are. Let us introduce _ourselves_. I'm the Pearl Dragon."

"I'm the Long Dragon." The one with the long face said.

"And I'm the Yellow Dragon." The one with the feathers added.

"And I'm the Black Dragon." The bored one finished.

"We are happy you came to visit us." The Long Dragon said. "We haven't spoken to mortals in a long time."

"We like mortals." The Yellow Dragon added. "We used to hunt them and eat them until one day one said _Not me please, I've a child!_"

"That was the day we were converted. The day our food spoke to us." The Pearl Dragon nodded. "We all turned vegetarian."

"Commendable." Zuko mumbled, spooked.

"Yes. Sometimes it's hard to be without meat for so long, but we like mortals."

"A lot." The Black Dragon seemed to consider something. "Specially with fennel and lemongrass."

"Don't pay attention to Black Dragon. He is nostalgic." Long Dragon dismissed the longing in Black Dragon eyes. "We cannot eat mortals anymore. Their feelings, their memories, come with the flesh. Even Gods get eroded with too much memories and feelings. We stopped eating mortals since before the time of the Avatars. Don't fear us. We protect you."

"Yeah? Then what was that thing about allowing one hundred years of war?" Toph retorted, before the others tried to shush-her.

"The only way to appreciate what you have is losing it." The Pearl Dragon answered cryptically.

All the Dragons nodded simultaneously.

"And over population. War is the most effective way to keep overpopulation in check."

The friends opened their mouths. That sounded … barbaric.

"So, Avatar, mortals, what brings you here, to visit us?"

"We want to talk to La, the Spirit of the Ocean. Do you know where can we find him?" Aang asked.

Long Dragon shook his head.

"La is a weird child." He said sad, like a tired parent.

"He has all these issues." Pearl Dragon said reprovingly.

"We thought that once Tui's destiny was fulfilled, you know, the prophecy of her death came true, that he would get over the entire thing." Yellow Dragon added.

"We had high hopes when Yue came along. So pretty, so sweet." Long Dragon nodded. Sokka snorted.

"But La is fixated. That's who he is. He's still fixated with the fact that Tui rejected him, and didn't even tried to make it work with Yue. They keep the dance, as they are supposed to. But he's still living in the past."

"And Yue tried, poor child. But then Agni needed consolation too, so there she went."

"Agni?" Zuko asked, confused.

"The Spirit of the Sun. Agni. Your forefather." Long Dragon explained. "Yue consoles him now. So we are back to where we were before Tui died. And La keeps in this negative …" he looked for the right word " … funk. Any of these days he's going to do something regrettable."

"He's trying to kill me." Toph said.

The Dragons looked at her with interest.

"That's good." Yellow Dragon said. "He's taking interest in something."

"It's not good." Katara was the one who spoke. "He's trying to kill my friend and almost destroyed my village. Why does he go after the Water Tribes for this Contest? Tui is dead now, shouldn't he let go of the idea of this Contest?"

The Dragon Gods looked at her with interest too.

"You're a Moon Child." One of them, the Black one, said with yearning. "Tasty little things, the Moon Children." He snapped out of it. "May be you can talk to La. Remind him of the Covenant that he made with the Water Tribes. We had to rein him in once already. The world almost got destroyed." He turned to Toph. "However, his issue with the Earth Child is a different one. I would advise you to discuss it with the Goddess of Fate."

"And where can we find the Goddess of Fate?" Aang asked.

"When you leave here, follow your instinct."

"What about La? Where do we find La?"

"That's hard. He doesn't socialize much. Still pining for his Lost Moon. He comes and goes. The best is to ask the Goddess of Fate. She's the best link to La."

The friends look at each other confused. And _these _were the helpful Gods.

Long Dragon took pity.

"Try the doors. Fate is holding a party. Just follow the sounds."

"You weren't invited?" Toph asked bewildered. The Dragon Gods looked at each other pondering about giving her the bad news.

"We like mortals." Yellow Dragon said.

"We defend and protect them." Pearl Dragon added.

"With this attitude, we're not welcomed at Fate's parties." Long Dragon continued.

"We lack the hunting instinct." Black Dragon concluded, but he sounded wistful and was licking his teeth. Toph moved a couple of steps away from the Black Dragon, to avoid stirring those memories too much. She pushed Sokka in front of her, after all he was bigger, with more muscle, _way_ more appetizing than a blind girl, and anyway he could probably run very fast in the Spirit World. The choice was obvious.

Aang bowed to the Dragon Gods.

"Thank you. Anything we should know before attending the party?"

"Don't eat Spirit food." Warned the Pearl Dragon. "If you do, you become a phantom. Neither here, nor there, with one foot in either side of both worlds. And after a while, out of frustration, phantoms become abominations."

The friends left the library of the Dragon Gods. They stood in the middle of the garden, between the doors.

"Sokka, you heard that last bit, did you?" Zuko warned. "No eating, Sokka, or you will become an abominable semi-ghost."

Sokka made a crossing gesture.

"Water Tribe honor." He mumbled, spooked.

Aang turned to Toph, concerned.

"Toph, I'm not sure you have the right attitude to talk to Gods. They don't take nicely to … cheekiness."

Toph assented.

"I promise I'll behave." She said. Aang was doubtful.

"I'm serious Toph. One thing is dealing with Kyoshi who is bound to goodness because she was an Avatar, or with Dragon Gods that decided to be vegetarians and protect humans. Another very different to deal with proud, arrogant Gods. This is _religion _we're talking about, you need to take it seriously."

"I take religion seriously. Religion is not funny. It _never _makes me laugh. That's one of the reasons why I don't do religion."

"That's precisely what I'm afraid of." Aang answered worried. Toph placed a hand on her chest.

"I promise that I will control my tongue and my temper. I'm perfectly capable of doing it. I'll pretend that I'm back at my parents home."

She noticed that he was resisting the impulse to grab her hand. She had the impression that he was also resisting the impulse to hug her and protect her, probably from herself. He finally let go a sigh, without touching her. "Come on." He called the group and went directly to the Earth door. A lot of noise and laughs could be heard through the lintel. They opened the door and stepped inside.

* * *

_Thank you AmberDragonfly for the idea of Zuko's tailors making Aang some cool winter outfits in his colors with fake eco-fur and everything. Love you too! _

* * *


	18. Trip to the Spirit World, Part II

**XVIII. Trip to the Spirit World, Part II**

They crossed the door into a great hall. The ceiling was not a ceiling, but the sky. A blue, perfect sky, with faultless white clouds, lighted by a beautiful light. However, there was no sun in the firmament. There were columns that rose to the heavens but reached nowhere. A parade of figures could be seen. Some running around, some reclining in long chairs, some eating and drinking, and several around a round table, cheering and looking at something with interest. A game. The Gods were playing a game.

A minor deity noticed them. A small God with the pinched expression of someone that finds that everything smells offensively.

He came over and looked at them trying to figure them out.

"Are you worshipers?" The small God asked.

"It depends." Sokka answered. "What's to worship?"

The small God seemed surprised.

"Well, er, me. I'm a God, I'm revered by worshipers."

Toph couldn't stop herself.

"God of what?"

"God of Small Things."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I'm the God of those small things you usually found laying around the house and don't know what to do with them."

"You mean like annoying buttons, hairpins, pieces of thread and loose copper pieces that keep reappearing even though you keep picking them up?" Katara asked, annoyance in her voice. Obviously, she had a strong opinion about small, useless, little things laying around the house.

"Yes."

"And what do you do for your worshipers, oh God of the Small Things?" Toph asked and sensed the spirit fingers of Aang briefly on her back as a silent warning. _Behave._

"Well, I help them find small things." The God with the pinched expression said.

"You mean, if I pray very hard to you I'll find my house full of useless small things that I keep throwing away on cleaning days and that keep re-materializing like five seconds afterwards?" There was no doubt, there was _hatred _ in Katara's voice.

"Well, yes. I'm the God of the Small things, that's the reason I exist."

Zuko knew his clandestine girlfriend well. He grabbed her arm, while bowing deeply to the small God.

"We're deeply honored to meet you, God of the Small Annoying Things. We practice a different religion back home, but we will keep you in mind when there is the need to pray for small things." The God seemed pleased by this demonstration of humility. Zuko dragged Katara away from the God, and the rest followed.

She was mumbling under breath about the disgrace of living with hoarders like Hakoda and Gran-Gran and cleaning the stupid South Pole ten times a day and still finding small stupid things like herring bones and pins everywhere. Zuko solved the problem.

"Shut up or I'll place an icon of the little god in your room when we got back."

The friends got closer to the table were the Gods were engaged in their board game. They looked at the celestial beings in surprise. The Gods were an assorted lot, that was for sure.

"I wonder if Yue is around." Katara said, looking for the Moon Goddess.

The rest of the friends was fascinated by the immortals. Some of the gods were very interesting to look at. Like the one with the head of a jackal, dressed with the equivalent of a linen towel wrapped around his waist and a very snappy necklace made of blue stones that seemed to cover his shoulders and part of his chest. He was talking to a chubby kid with adorable rosy cheeks and wings, that sported a bow and a quiver with arrows at his back. The little kid was putting a cylinder of something in his mouth and was puffing smoke from it. The baby was also talking with a deep and scary baritone, insulting some of the players with a language that would have made Zuko's men proud.

The friends looked at each other.

"Do you know any of these Gods?" Sokka asked in wonder.

"Well, I know Hrish." Mumbled Aang, marginally uncomfortable. "He's the one over there."

"Whoa!" Toph exclaimed. "That's a scary God. Look at all those snakes coming from him, how they move!"

The boys were squinting their eyes. Suddenly, Sokka gasped.

"Those are not snakes, Toph." He said in horror.

"What you mean? I know what snakes look like. I've seen them before with my feet. Look at all those heads."

Sokka tried to step in front of her, so she would stop looking at the God.

"That's a fertility God, Toph." He tried to explain.

Suki was mesmerized.

"Wow." Was all she could say. "Wow."

"Suki!" Sokka scolded "Snap out of it! Right now!" He tried to drag the warrior away.

Zuko was covering Katara's eyes. The only one that was calm and collected was Aang.

"It's only a God." He said shrugging. Toph was impressed. That monk was revealing depths so hidden that she made a mental note of taking diving lessons when back in the real world.

"How do you know _that _God, Aang?" Sokka asked, offended, trying to get Suki to react. The warrior was mumbling something about worshiping and _what do you think will happen if I pray really, really hard?_

"That's the God the monks dedicated the festivals to. The Hrish festivals."

"What's a Hrish festiva…" Katara started asking, but Zuko was fast.

"Hey, isn't that Yue?" He asked and she turned. "Ooops, my mistake, sorry. Look over there! Another interesting God! Look, I think that's Hoover, the God of Cleaning Houses! Your favorite!"

Another God, a well formed, good looking, half naked male, with a cup in one hand and a crown of woven flowers in his head, came over. He had a pleasant smile and a sparkle in his eye.

"Do I know you?" He asked Toph, looking at her from head to toe, trying to place her. Toph shook her head.

"Don't think so. Not big on worshiping."

He nodded, studying her.

"My cult is slightly different than the rest. I'm the God of Drinks that Make you Happy and Stupid. I get worshiped every time someone takes a Drink. I've a great following, but I'm usually good at recognizing the _naturals._"

"What's a natural?"

"Those worshipers that don't take Drinks to drown sorrow, force happiness, buy bravery, and so forth. A natural is a worshiper that _enjoys_ for the sake of enjoyment. I love naturals. My temples are only served by female naturals." He circled her. "I know you. You _enjoy. _You would do well in one of my temples." She felt Aang's fingers on her back again. Protective and possessive at the same time. The God offered her a drink. "Try my new vintage. It's called Ambrosia. And _you_, you can call me Dionny."

Toph bowed deeply to the God of Drinks.

"I'm honored but I'm not thirsty. Thank you for the offer, but I have a temple to serve already."

Dionny the God seemed displeased.

"Another temple? You serve another God?" Toph kept her cool, but deep down she was wary. Aang was right, these were arrogant Gods, dangerous for mortals.

"I serve an _incarnation. _The spirit of the world in human form. The Avatar, who by the way have four temples and not enough worshipers. Hardly any, actually. Maybe only one, and I don't know if it counts because is a lemur. I made a pledge to him. Out of pity."

The God seemed happy with the crazy answer. He did not even asked who the avatar was.

"If you change your mind" Dionny said seductively. "You know where to find me. When you get to see the bottom of any bottle you're drinking, just say my name three times and I shall come. It's all about the taste of the drink, dainty lady."

Toph bowed to the God, who left with languid movements, sipping his drink.

"Don't even think about calling that guy." Aang whispered fiercely in her ear. "I can see it in his eyes, his intentions are not honorable."

"Relax Twinkle Toes." She told him sincerely. "I'm blind in the real world. I can't never see the end of the bottle. And anyway, be assured that _that_ guy is not tasting this dainty."

"That would be something." Aang said without thinking. "Tasting the dainty."

She turned to him in surprise. Aang looked utterly shocked, with a hand on his mouth, and his big, gray eyes on her.

"Which one do you think is the Goddess of Fate?" Zuko asked, sliding closer to them and breaking the moment. Aang blinked, and looked at Zuko. And then a Katara, who had followed closely. And he seemed to realize something, probably about himself, because his face was a poem of shame, confusion and doubt. He suddenly recoiled, stepping aside from Toph and closer to Katara. Toph felt a pang. Like a jab inside, too real to be part of the Spirit World. And suddenly, she got upset.

"Well, we need to do this." She said resolutely, turning her back on her friends and taking a step forward towards the table with the gamblers. If she knew something about gambling, is that Destiny had nothing to do with it. So, it was the ideal place for the Goddess of Providence.

"Fate!" She called aloud. A Goddess with black hair turned her head to her. The Goddess had a couple of dice in her hand, and was surrounded by other deities, all drinking and screaming. It took a moment for Toph to take in that the Goddess was trying to place where her name had come from, and that the Goddess had pale green eyes the color of sea foam that did not focus on anything. The Goddess of Fate was blind.

"Can't you tell I am busy?" She retorted in a bad mood. "I'm kicking these foreigners' butts and I refuse to be interrupted! You!" She turned to another immortal. "Go and check what the mortals want!"

Some minor deity came over.

"Hello worshipers. Are you here for the Gathering?"

"We're here to talk to the Goddess of Fate." Aang answered. "What Gathering?"

"The Celestial Gathering. Gods from everywhere meet every five centuries or so to discuss the affairs of the universe, what's happening with the mortals, who's getting really popular out there, and the best donations. It's an important meeting. Great decisions are made during these meetings."

"Like the game you're playing right now?" Toph asked. She had moved away from Aang, and had decided to go freelance. Enough with the _Behave. _She didn't like the look in his eyes. He had seemed _afraid_ of the conversation. She thought that it was great to be blind in the real world.

"Well, yes. We are betting on the odds of a Volcano wiping out the entire southern Fire Nation islands."

Zuko breath stopped.

"Is my country going to be wiped out by a Volcano?"

"Maybe, don't know yet. I wouldn't get too worried. Fate is betting against it. She's usually very good at her bets." Zuko was open mouthed. "If you really care about the islands, you need to wait, though. Fate doesn't like to be interrupted and if she bets _for it, _then you really have a problem."

Toph grabbed Zuko's arm. Katara grabbed the other. Aang put a hand on his shoulder. Toph looked for Sokka, who was needed right now for moral support and saw him trying to drag Suki away. The warrior was still entranced, now on her knees, talking in terms of offerings and _sacrifices. _

"Hey, guys! I need help here! Suki found religion!" Sokka yelled.

Toph let go of Sparky and went to the warrior. She stepped in front of her and slapped her with a incorporeal slap.

"Suki!" She called. "Snap out of it! If you behave, I'll get you an icon of Hrish for you to use as a bookmark for your Kyoshi Code."

Suki made an effort to avert her gaze.

"You promise?" Her eyes were still trying to focus.

"Yes. You need to clean your chin. Your drooling is making your make-up run." The warrior stood up reluctantly to follow Toph. The friends stood closer to the table. The smaller deity was looking at them with interest.

"So, who do you guys worship?" The God asked. That was a loaded question. As an expert in not doing religion, Toph understood that if there is something that can get you cursed faster than stepping on the toes of a witch, is to openly declare your religious alliances or misalliances in a room full of Gods (or worshipers, whatever).

"Depends." She answered elusively.

"Depends on what?" The God asked.

"Depends on the problem I'm trying to solve." She answered. Other Gods came closer. The Jackal and the foul mouthed Baby, for the look of it.

"That's a good attitude." Acknowledged the original deity. "You never know which God out there is willing to help."

"Are we talking about polytheism again?" The Jackal seemed bored. "That was _so _last Gathering."

"It makes sense. The Monotheists have been getting a lot of rep, lately." The smoking Baby said.

Another immortal sauntered. This one was female, with long legs and a sultry form. Her hair fell on cascades at her back, and she sported a breathtaking face. She was eating grapes, and wearing a dress so transparent that Toph could see the _grapes_ going down her digestive track. She wished for blindness again.

"Those guys are boring." The Goddess said, giving Sokka an eyeful. Suki snorted. "They are big on Sin." Zuko was carefully maintaining eye contact with the Goddess. Even without bending in the Spirit World, he was sweating, firebending his will to be able to keep his gaze at eye level. Aang was scrupulously looking at a point past her shoulder, his ears purple. Toph thought for a minute there that she saw the ears flapping. Maybe a trick of the light. Sokka, not burdened by aristocratic education or religious upbringing, however, was openly denying the exercise of any self restraint.

"I thought _you _were big on Sin, Tlatli." The Baby was saying.

"Yes, I _promote _Sin. Those Monotheist Gods, they _prohibit _it. They totally refuse to share the love."

An austere looking tall God, all beard and disapproval, approached the group.

"Mortals!" The God ordered. "Don't pay attention to these gods, these are false gods."

"As opposed to? They look very real to me." Sokka ventured.

"Us." The God signaled himself, and another couple of deities, all with the same judgmental expressions. "We are the real gods. This is what religion is all about, who are the real Gods and who is worshiping false ones."

"I thought all Gods were like, OK." Sokka said, confused.

"That's what _they_ want you to think, but we all know that We are the real Gods and the rest are False. That's the way it is."

Sokka kept looking at Tlatli. Toph could tell that right now, the False Naked Goddess looked much more religious to him than the forbidding hairy guy. But then, theology had never been Sokka's forte.

"But, how can it be that you promote sin and you guys prohibit it, and you all share the same space?" He asked, almost in pain.

"You never know what's going to get you the bigger following." The Jackal said.

Tlatli assented.

"Mortals are funny. You would think that they would go after religions that celebrate pleasure, drinking, sin and laziness. But they don't. Lately, the Monotheists are getting a huge following and they forbid _everything._"

"That's what makes us the True Gods while you guys are the False ones. We're hardcore. Winning the afterlife with us is hard work. That makes it so much more valuable." The True God said.

"It's the _same _afterlife, God." Tlatli said tiredly. "You're selling the same dumpling with different steam."

The Baby puffed some smoke.

"It used to be that prohibiting things would make all your followers ran away. So we _allowed _things. But that didn't work. Humans seem to like religions that advocate misery."

"Broccoli." Said the Jackal with melancholia. "I got a huge following declaring Broccoli an abomination. I was so popular for a while."

"Well," the True God crossed his arms with an evil grin. "Next thing we are prohibiting is chocolate."

The mortal girls gasped, horrified in the face of so much malevolence. Sokka turned to Zuko and whispered: _Are you still accepting investors for those chocolate ventures? The underground sales of that thing are going to skyrocket now._

The Baby, meanwhile, was looking at Katara up and down.

"You know, mortal," he said in his deep baritone, suggestively, "I'm the God of Love."

She looked at the Baby like if he was a Fire Nation snail-roach.

"No offense, but how can you be the God of Love? You are a cute baby! That is like, so wrong." She said between disgusted and shocked. Toph looked at Katara with surprise. The nerve of the Waterbender, like _that _ever stopped her before.

"Women go ga-ga with Babies. They feel so much love when they see Babies. I'm utterly loved and I give love in return. I'm very handy. And I can fly, you see, I've wings." He did a flying demonstration. Toph had had enough.

"Quit it, Baby-love." She told the cherub. "You don't have the edge of novelty. See, my friend's been there, done that." Toph turned to walk to where Fate was to talk to her. Someone with incorporeal fingers grabbed her arm. It was Aang. She removed her arm with a brusque movement. "You've some fierce competition Twinkle Toes. Better watch out." She told him over her shoulder and walked away. He followed.

"What's wrong?" Aang asked when they were out of earshot from the others.

"You tell _me_ what's wrong." Toph shot back. "You acted for a minute there like I was something to be disgusted at." He lowered his gaze for a moment, but then raised it resolutely.

"No. Not to be disgusted at. To be hopeful for. And I got scared about how much I liked the idea."

Toph raised an eyebrow.

"Are we talking about the dainty?" She clarified with a frown, just to be sure.

"The exquisite, pretty dainty, yes." He spelled out. She was surprised. What was up with the monk? Like Kuei. She made a mental note to ask Gran-Gran about the psychological effects of the South Pole's horrible grub.

"Keep looking at the dainty like is daunting, and you will get the full flavor of a slap in the face." She answered just to remind him who she was. But she suddenly felt happy again. Her anger disappearing like magic. He seemed to read between the lines as well, because suddenly he smiled a child-man shy smile.

They then heard a triumphal scream. They turned to the gambling table. Fate was jumping with the dice in her hands.

"Take that, suckers!!" She yelled happily. "Pay up, pay up!" The other deities started unloading incorporeal stuff, like strands of silver in her hands. The rest of the group approached Toph and Aang, followed by the Gods that have been discussing theology.

"What's going on?" Aang asked the minor deity that Fate had sent originally to talk to them.

"Good news for your islands." The God told Zuko. "Fate won. No Volcano eruption." Zuko seemed disgusted, but had the common sense not to say anything.

"What's that they are giving her?" Katara asked.

"Devotion. Gods trade in their worshiper's devotion. Devotion gives Gods powers." The Jackal answered. Toph heard that and knew that the entire concept was just so wrong.

After cashing in her devotion, Fate strolled towards the mortals. Toph looked at her in wonder. This was not how she had imagined the Goddess. Fate did not look like a divine immortal. She was average height, not tall like the rest, slim, with black hair piled on top of her head, and had the same cylinder of paper that Baby-love was carrying between her fingers. She brought it to her lips and puffed a column of smoke. There were no senses in the spirit world, but Toph could still smell the acrid smoke.

Fate acknowledged the other Gods with a gesture.

"What's up Tlatli? How is the adultery business?" She asked blowing smoke in the face of the naked goddess. Tlatli smiled a wan smile.

"Better than ever. Since the Monotheists started gathering all their followers, adultery levels have skyrocketed."

The friends looked at each other in horror.

"I thought you were the Goddess of Love or something!" Sokka said disapprovingly.

"He's the God of Love," Tlatli clarified pointing at the lecherous Baby that was totally checking Katara out. "I'm the Goddess of Adultery and Lust. I'm pretty good at it." She added, a hand on her hip. Suki stepped between the Goddess and Sokka. The Goddess smiled at Suki. "I'm not a threat, honey. I don't do steady relationships." Suki was not budging. Toph thought that Suki and Sokka were being _attacked _by religion.

Fate turned to the mortals.

"Hello. I'm Fortuna, née Fortunata (but you can imagine what I think of _that _name). I'm the Goddess of Destiny. Mortals called me by several names. Among them, Providence, Chance, Luck, and B--. My friends call me Fate." She blew smoke on their faces, appreciating them with a blind stare. Aang cringed, and tried not to cough. The rest braved the smoke barely flinching. The way she would move her head would seem like that she was taking all in, sensing them. "Well, what do we have here? If it isn't my old friend the Avatar. My very good friend."

"Do I know you?" Aang asked bewildered. Fate tapped his chest with her nicotine stained fingers.

"You did. Very well." She smiled a … lascivious? smile. Toph heard Katara snorting, Sokka tried to keep a chuckle back and she herself tried to rein in … what? Jealousy? Like she was allowed or something? "That was some lives ago, you probably don't remember anything." Fate seemed sad, somehow. She then shook her head, and continued with her inspection. "Hey!" She seemed pleased to recognize someone else in the group. "Agni's kid! How are you doing? Look at you all grown up and everything. How is life treating you? Am I making it too hard for you? Do you think I overdid it a bit?" She sounded honest, so against all advice Sokka said:

"You certainly were not going for subtle with him."

Fate turned to look at Sokka mildly amused.

"Agni's kid, you got yourself a friend. So I cannot have done so bad if you managed to get this …" She studied Sokka hard, "… person's loyalty." Was all she could come up with. She turned to Katara.

"A Master Waterbender?" Her smile became brittle. "With your covenants with my son. How is that working for you?"

"I beg your pardon?" Katara asked, confused.

"My son, La. The Ocean. You know him, your Tribe is like his favorite pet project."

Katara coughed.

"Actually, we are trying to locate the Spirit of the Ocean. Your … son?"

Fate blew smoke on her face, considering something.

"You're here for other reasons, Waterbender. We can talk about it later." Fate turned to Suki. "I've nothing on you. You're a nice girl, hard worker, moron boyfriend. Happens all the time. You'll be happy. Ah, and don't bury the Code. Kyoshi will haunt you. Brave it, like your predecessors did." Fate finally stepped in front of Toph. They were exactly the same height. Toph also noticed that they had the same built. The Goddess blew smoke on Toph's face. The mortal did not flinch.

"Nasty habit." She told the Goddess.

"I know." The Goddess was smiling, pleased. "Walk with me." Fate said and started walking away. Toph followed. The rest remained where they were, looking at them. "I don't hate you." Fate said straight on, when they were out of earshot. "Actually, I like you. A lot. So much, that I go out of my way for you." Toph was surprised.

"You _like _me?"

"Yes. Why else do think you're blind? I blessed you. You're my Chosen One." Toph got scared. She knew about Chosen Ones. Yin read her a story once about an entire race that was the Chosen People of a God and the amount of woe and misery in the story was never ending. Being the Chosen One of a God did not sound like the hottest job offer. "Don't be scared, I don't want you to proselytize for me or to go around preaching my sacred word. I don't like prophets too much. They tend to be too 'one track mind' for my taste."

"Then, what's with the luck? Because lately, it sucks."

"It's not your fault, really. You're so awesome, with all the blessings I bestowed upon you, that that stupid King fell in love, got my son involved in the story and then everything went south." Fate stopped, turned to face her and threw smoke at her face again.

"I'm lost, Goddess Fortuna."

"Please, call me Fate. What's going on in your life right now, I didn't exactly planned it. You see, I don't plan. I guide. Also, I'm all-knowing but not ever-knowing. That's a problem." Toph opened her focused eyes. _Was there even a difference? _"There is." Fate answered, not even bothering to disguise that she was reading her thoughts. "Don't want to get into details right now, though. Main issue is, I was doing nicely, giving you some challenges to keep the entire exercise interesting, working hard in getting you some sexy action with a _deserving _boyfriend (you're my Chosen One, you deserve an Awesome Boyfriend), and then, bam! a boomerang. I miscalculated, and your sheer amazingness got you a King. And the King got La involved."

Fate blew smoke in the air, away from her face now.

"I'm not what mortals think I am. I like you because I know you. You see, I know everything about men silly, petty secrets and I keep them. I intervene when I have to. Or when I'm bored. Or when I'm losing my games. I'm sorry about Agni's kid face, by the way. I was on a losing strike and lost my temper a bit and kind of messed up. But I made it up to him. Without that scar, he would have never joined your group or that hunky Avatar. He would be another good looking, arrogant, boring prince. I'm big on humble pies, I usually throw them at people's faces. So, everything is well that's end well. And anyway, without that scar he wouldn't have his waterbender either, and believe me, I know passion, those two steam together. I am getting hot just by looking at them right now. When they went back together a couple of days ago we were all like _Hurrah!!_ over here in the pantheon. Some Gods went down to earth to get fireflakes and everything for the show. We really missed all that swamp action, I'm telling you. That's a good couple to watch in the throes of passion so we set up some chairs and some picnic blankets and kept giving them opportunities like well positioned closets and stuff." Toph raised her hand.

"Fate, I _really_ don't want to hear this."

"Don't be such a prude. That monk is rubbing on you. We need to fix that. Seriously. Tlatli won like a thousand bets with those two. Anyway, I'm rambling. What I wanted to say was, it's not like I'm working against you or anything, but my son is. You see, we have a difficult relationship my son and I. He thinks I can do magic and control Destiny. I can't. I guide. People and Gods make choices. And every choice they make closes a thousand doors and opens a thousand more. La thinks that eternity is like a mystery scroll where you can jump to the end and read the conclusion before reading the story. He's sorely mistaken." Fate seemed comfortable, even happy about sharing all this heartache with Toph. Toph listened, like a good sounding board. "Maybe it's my fault. I should have been more careful about his father. It was in a Gathering, millenniums ago. This foreign God came to visit and I lost it. Big guy, lickable horns, long hair, a big fork and the meanest fish tail I had ever seen. I just couldn't get enough of the fish. And a century later, lo and behold. La. My son. Who keeps complaining because he looks like a Fish. I think he's beautiful, but he thinks I'm just saying it because I'm his mother."

Fate blew smoke again, and turned her blind face to Toph. A thought struck Toph.

"Why is it that I can see in the Spirit World and you can't?"

"Oh, I can see. I just don't see with my eyes. It's like what you do back in the real world. I sense. You can see here because there is no bending in the Spirit World. When I realized you were crossing over I thought it would be a nice gesture for you to see in this world, instead of leaving you like you've been for the last week in the ice pole. No bending and not seeing. I thought that you were going through too much crap already." Fate smiled at her. "Deep down, I'm a romantic too. You're taking home some hot blue memories."

Fate turned and started walking towards the rest of the friends again.

"Let's go back. You guys still need to see some people." She was saying. Toph ran to keep up with her pace.

"Listen Fate, is not like I don't appreciate the love or anything, but in the future, can you lay low with the blessings?"

Fate stopped.

"The blessings are all yours already, pet." She said behind a cloud of smoke. "You're the one who keeps upping the ante, not me. Now, if what you want is an assurance that everything is going to be OK in the end, I can't give it. It's like jumping ahead in the scroll. That's the reason I don't do prophecies either. Some Gods are big on prophecies. They like giving snippets of the future, that are invariably taken out of context, causing disappointment. Not my cup of Ambrosia. I'm all-knowing, I know what's coming, but I'm not telling. You _may choose _a different door. And then you get a different future. I don't know what you're going to do, I only know the one thousand permutations that may come from your actions." She started walking and then stopped suddenly. She turned to Toph. "Whatever you choose to do, however, get some of that monk. Those tattoos are lickable_. _That's the only snippet of the future I'm going to give you."

Toph studied Fate.

"You're saying that because you think I deserve some sexy action with the hot monk, not because that's going to be good for my future or anything."

"You see? You're my Chosen One!" Fate blew smoke again and reached the friends. "So, mortals, here is the deal. My son La takes that silly Contest very seriously. He's upset because he thinks that I could have stopped his girlfriend Tui from cheating and eventually dying. No way I, or anyone else, could stop the consequences of Tui's own actions. She heard a prophecy about herself, she believed it, she got herself a replacement as the good professional that she was, and then she died. La is sad about that. Then, he's also very interested in our earthbending friend here. So he's taking it personal. He got upset when he found out that the Avatar was refusing to champion the King because my son is convinced that marrying the King will make the earthbender miserable. And that's what he wants." Fate turned her face to Toph. "The Contest must go on. If it doesn't, he will kill you and punish the Tribes." Fate waved her hand and something shiny and silver appeared. A parchment, with very peculiar lettering. "Here is the covenant between the water tribes and my son." She handed the document to Aang. "You should review it. It's written in indestructible parchment unless declared invalid. It will become solid and readable when you go back to the real world." Aang looked at the document.

"I know a law school drop out that may be able to help me with this." He told Fate. She nodded.

"I also know that you mortals want to talk to La. It won't help. But it may help you understand."

Fate waved her hand and a soft white light filled the place. Someone was coming from above.

"Yue!" Sokka exclaimed, for the first time removing his gaze from Tlatli.

Yue was a beautiful Goddess. Even with the towering hairdo of too much silver hair to be plausible, she had the sweetest smile that Toph had seen since stepping in the Spirit World.

"Sokka" The Goddess called, and her voice was like two voices at the same time, layering on top of each other. She hovered close to the water tribe warrior, and an incorporeal hand came closer to touch his face, but then she stopped. She turned to Suki with understanding, and instead of touching the warrior, the Moon bowed to the mortal. Suki bowed back, but there were spirit tears pooling in those huge eyes of hers. There was a conversation going on between the Moon and the Kyoshi, that much was evident. They kept looking at each other, an array of expressions flickering while one asked questions and the other answered. Sokka was not part of the conversation. He was gone, looking at his Lost Moon. The Moon turned to him again.

"I'm happy you're fine Sokka. I'm glad you found happiness." She said, with warmth glowing in that beautiful face of hers. Those Water Tribes, Toph thought, they like cornered the market on good looking genes. A golden light was coming down after the silver light. A male god, with black hair and golden eyes materialized, stepped closer to the Moon and grabbed her hand. Yue made a gesture to the group. "This is Agni, the god of Fire and the Spirit of the Sun." She introduced.

Suki jaw dropped.

"Oh, by Kyoshi, you look like …?"

"I took the form of the mortal who saved me from the Ocean." The god said in a raspy, deep voice, that sounded like something broken and mended. "To honor him. I used to look differently. I also made him the first Fire Sage. His descendants have ruled the Fire Nation islands 'till today." The god was looking with pride at Zuko, who was frozen in place. Katara pushed him, nudging his back. _It's another grandpa, Zuko, go give him a hug. _She was saying. Toph shook her head. The Waterbender touchy feeling-ness knew no boundaries, obviously.

Sokka was still trying to rein the physical likeness in.

"You look like Zuko would without his scar." He told the god, in disbelief.

Toph couldn't help herself.

"So, your ex the Moon, is technically dating Zuko now?" She asked.

"This is a nightmare." Sokka said.

Zuko grabbed Sokka's arm and forced him to turn to him.

"Sokka!" He called his friend's attention sternly. "Look at me, look at me. Here, in my eyes. I'm over here. I'm your friend. That one over there, that's _another_ guy. I'm not the one doi.., sorry, dating your ex-girlfriend." Sokka nodded, still trying to grasp the concept.

Agni was smiling bemused.

"Prince." He called Zuko good humored. "We need to talk about your language back on the real world. Every time you curse, you tickle me. You're my descendant, I can always hear the calls of my descendants. And lately, you've been tickling me non stop. What's going on?"

"The South Pole, that's what's going on." Toph answered for Zuko.

Fate intervened, interrupting the conversation.

"Yue, Agni, the mortals are here to see my son. You're going to take them to him. You can always talk along the way." She turned to Zuko. "You wanted to talk to me, Agni's kid. Let's go." She stopped for a moment. "Waterbender, come, I guess you should be part of this conversation."

Fate walked away with Zuko and Katara. Aang was looking at them thoughtfully.

"What's going on, Toph?" He asked her without using any nickname. He was serious. Toph hated lying to people's faces. She particularly hated lying to _his _face.

"They had a vision together in the Foggy Swamp and they want to understand what was it that they saw." She answered truthfully.

"Was it a bad vision? Something bad is going to happen?"

"May be. You'll have to ask them." Toph moved away. She had kept her acute hearing in the Spirit World and picked up part of the conversation.

"I don't do prophecies precisely for this reason" Fate was saying. "There is too much room for interpretation. I've no idea what that silly tree tried to tell you. That tree likes _math. _He dwells in that swamp doing math all day, playing with logical permutations, getting funny in the head and throwing away visions like they are candy. All I can tell you is that your interpretation may be wrong. Who knows? You know about this, Agni's kid, destiny is a funny thing. You know that the visions others have for you do not necessarily dictate the decisions you have to make."

"You sound like my Uncle."

"I know your Uncle. He came to visit, trying to convince me to change the past. He then learned the futility of such endeavor."

"My uncle is a wise man."

"No. A wise man knows everything, but a shrewd one knows everybody. Your uncle is shrewdness incarnate. Changing the topic here. You. Waterbender. I'll give you a clue: taking chances is absolutely necessary for a happy life. And just because I won today, and I'm feeling generous, I'll give you both another hint: Don't force things to fit your vision. Start doing what's right and then the meaning of your vision will reveal itself to you." Fate blew more smoke in their faces and walked back to where the rest were.

"Bye, bye kids." She saluted everyone, going back to her game table. "Say hello to my son for me." She stopped before turning to look at Toph. "You'll see me again, when the time is right." And with that she was gone, a cloud of smoke lingering behind her.

"Doesn't she remind you of someone?" Katara asked Toph.

"Who? Fate? No. She is sarcastic, crabby and with a twisted sense of humor. I don't know anyone like that. I don't want to know anyone like that."

"Do you remember that bit about self deception you were accusing me of?" Katara started, but Toph ignored her, turning to the other gods.

Agni and Yue had stayed hovering closer to the mortals, waiting for them. The mortals turned and bowed farewells to the other gods. Suki tried to place Hrish in the middle of the party just to say goodbye, but the god was nowhere to be seen.

They then started walking after the other two deities. They found themselves walking down a long corridor of columns, with the blue sky still as the ceiling. Beyond the columns there was a forest, with what seemed like figures drifting among the trees. Lingering, waiting for something. Yue lagged behind to walk next to Katara and the girls, to catch up, while Zuko went ahead with Aang and Sokka, talking to his patron god. Toph could hear Sokka asking questions to Agni: _So why is it that your race of firebenders can get burned? Isn't that like a design flaw? I mean, creating guys that throw fire but can get burned by fire? I'm an inventor, I think a lot about these things. _

"So, how long have you and Agni been together?" Katara asked casually.

Yue smiled.

"Well, the entire situation was kind of waiting for me. At the beginning it was just part of the job description, but now is different. I care about Agni and La. Both of them."

"Is it true that La drowns Agni every night when the sun sets?" Toph asked.

"Yes and no. Every night Agni goes to visit La, to see if he's OK. They used to be best friends before Tui got confused. She was with La and one day, she wanted Agni too. And the entire thing happened. La is not a bad guy. Just emotionally intense. I like him a lot. So we are both trying, Agni and I, to help him work out his issues. You need to understand that time is different for the Gods. For La, Tui just died. Agni, on the other hand, feels as if it happened long time ago."

"And you?"

"I missed Sokka so much at the beginning. But now I'm happy. I wish La would come around, he can be really sweet when he wants to." Yue tilted her head towards Aang. "How are things with the Avatar? He has grown."

"They're fine." Katara answered and it hit Toph that with everything that was going on, Katara and Aang were still officially engaged.

"I see you're wearing the same necklace you were wearing years ago. Didn't the Avatar carved a new one for you?"

"That's a Northern Tribe custom, Yue, not Southern. I never heard of it before traveling to the North Pole."

"Ah. Your prince is looking fine too. I like him better with hair."

"He's not my prince."

"I'm a Goddess now, Katara. I see everything." Yue said sweetly. They guys ahead suddenly stopped. They had reached the end of the corridor. Beyond there was an opening, like the entrance of a cave. The Moon floated ahead next to Agni, and together they went inside. The mortals followed.

The cave opened to what it looked like a underground lake. A green, phosphorescent light that was coming from the lake illuminated everything from below. The walls of the cave twinkled with what looked like thousand little stars. Yue and Agni drifted on top of the lake, calling.

"La, you've visitors La!" Yue moved her hands and bended the water, parting it. Katara was impressed. Yue was not a bender when she was mortal, but now she was the embodiment of bending.

The water moved, and suddenly, a huge blue Koi fish raised from the water. The Spirit of the Ocean flapped his tail while floating to where the other two, very good looking gods were. It was hard to know the mood of the Ocean, Toph realized, because it's really, really hard to read the facial expressions of a fish. The Koi looked at the mortals. The cold beady eyes of the fish stopped at Aang.

"Avatar." He said with a watery voice. "It's good to see you again. Welcome to my abode." The fish eyes stopped at Sokka and Katara, and he bowed his head. The Water Tribe mortals did the same. He then bowed to Suki and finally the fish looked at Toph. He said nothing. She held the gaze, wishing for the umpteenth time that she was blind again and not dealing with the annoyance of looking at body language. She was starting to hate the seeing thing.

"Why did you try to kill me?" Toph asked. The fish hovered above the water.

"The Contest is tradition. Traditions must be respected." The Fish answered.

"There is no tradition of championing wimpy kings. You were making a statement back there."

"I was sending a message. I want all of you to take this seriously." The Fish said with finality, and tried to turn.

"What's your problem?" Toph asked impulsively, before Aang fingers at her back were able to stop her.

The Fish turned to her, again. Aang stepped forward, and placed himself between the fish and Toph.

"Honorable La." He said bowing. "My friend is upset about the entire situation. There must be a way for us to talk about this and find a more reasonable solution."

The fish drifted towards Aang.

"Avatar, I respect you and all your souls. I respect your anger too. And I know that is not your intention to slight me. Your covenant with the Earth King is one thing. The covenant of the Tribes with me is another. I give them life, Tui gave them bending, they give shelter to our mortal forms and worship us. The Water Tribes know that I like certain things done a certain way. There is no other reasonable solution. The Contest must go on."

"What happens if Master Bei Fong rejects the winner?"

"She dies." The Spirit said simply. "You know that."

"I need an assurance that she won't die before the end. You cannot threaten her life every time you think the Contest is not going the way you want." The Fish seemed pleased, if such thing was possible for a fish.

"You have my word." He said. Toph was not happy, however.

"I want to talk to you." She said to the Spirit, talking over Aang's shoulder, whom was still covering her from the gaze of the fish. "Alone."

She heard a gasp. Yue and Agni came close to where they were. Aang turned to face her, a painful expression on his face.

"Toph." He was stern. "You promised."

"I'll behave. But I need to talk to koi here alone. He cannot kill me, he just gave his word on that."

"He can do other things to you, all of them horrible. Death is not the worse that can happen."

She held his gaze, and thought that if they were in the real world this tug of war would be based on her feeling his emotions, not seeing them. And even though she was really taken by his charming face, she preferred feeling his emotions. They were truer. She found seeing truly deceiving.

"I need to do this." She said lowering her eyes and her voice to almost a whisper. "I cannot let a fish push me around like that. I won't do anything stupid."

Aang seemed pained again.

"You won't be able to help it." He said almost imploringly. She pushed him softly, beckoning him to move, and her actions were final. She leaned and tip toed a bit to whisper in his ear.

"My life, my choice." She said, and moved towards the Fish.

The Fish seemed amused. It made a gesture to Yue and Agni, as if he was sending them out with the mortals.

"You gave your word." Aang said.

"I promise you Avatar, no harm will come to the mortal." He repeated. The other four seemed really upset. _What are you doing, Aang? _She heard Zuko. _Leaving her alone with La? You know her! _ And Katara. _Toph can make him break his vow! _ Aang voice was also final. _We need to respect her decision. She needs to do this for herself. Toph doesn't run away, she faces fear. _She wondered when was it that Twinkle Toes had started to know her so well. The friends walked towards the entrance of the cave.

Toph walked to the edge of the lake to face the Fish. The Fish floated on top of the water, close to her, making ripples with the tips of his tail. Again, she felt smell. It was not the acrid smoke of Fate, but the fishy salty smell of aquatic life.

"Why are you so unhappy?" She asked the Spirit. The Spirit moved like dancing, balancing his entire body.

"She died before we could sort it out. We won't ever be able to sort anything now."

"Then, give Yue a chance. She likes you."

"She's with Agni. They hold hands all the time. You've seen Agni." She remember Fate's comments about her son.

"You're a God. You can assume a different form. Agni says that he was different."

"He was an imposing God with seven hands, two heads and three legs. He had seven fiery tongues to lick sacrificial butter, and used to ride a ram, branding an axe, torch, prayer beads and a flaming spear." Toph thought about gentle Yue with the big blue eyes, and understood that Agni was anything but stupid. "I don't want another form. I am what I am." Toph was starting to lose her patience. Ocean was one of those guys that always found a reason to mope.

"So, you're fish. So what?" She started, hands on her hips. "This is a Water Tribe Moon we are talking about. These people eat ocean kumquats and crawlies from the bottom of the ocean. She can stomach a fish. You can get some perfume or something to fix your breath problem, you're a God. And if not, she grew up smelling rotten seafood. I'm sure that she'll be TOTALLY into you. So the other guy is better looking, so what? Take it from a blind person: good looks are distracting and deceiving. Snap out of this funk, Fish, is not good for anyone."

The Koi hovered a littler closer.

"You remind me of my mother." He said ominously.

"Good."

"I hate my mother."

"Bad. I think I'm leaving now." Toph turned to leave, but the Fish cut her retreat fast.

"I've been watching you. You're like her. You sit on the sidelines and let things happen. She thinks you're the most entertaining mortal around right now. I think she's right. I want to see you entertained. She would like that." The Fish was almost on top of her. Toph held her ground. Dammed it if she was about to let a smelly fish intimidate her. Nor that she wasn't, intimidated that was, but the fish didn't know that.

"So, this entire personal interest you have in me is some unresolved momma issue, is it? You're a petty and immature fish. And so just you know, the word out there is that you're so ugly, that Koh gave you your face back!" The Fish flinched.

"You are going to be _soo _miserable." He promised. She held the beady eyes.

"You're getting emotionally involved. You're going to make a mistake. You've too much repressed energy inside you. If you were a smart fish, you would get yourself the form of a Water Tribe warrior and start holding Yue's _other_ hand. Maybe even Agni's. He looks like he wouldn't mind. Hey, I bet that he may even welcomed it. You're so focused on me and your mother because you don't have a life. Get one." She turned on her heels to leave, and then thought about the value of well placed advice. "That hunky Water Tribe warrior out there, he was Yue's boyfriend back when she was a mortal. That's _form _for you."

She walked determinedly to the entrance of the cave, refusing to turn to look at the fish. Her friends were there, waiting for her.

"What happened?" Katara asked, hugging her. "La is watching you."

"The Fish hates me. If he had any doubts about it before, I just made it official. We should be going." Yue and Agni floated closed by.

"Let's get you back to Hei Bai" Yue said sadly. Agni seemed in a better mood.

"La seems interested." He said smirking. Darn, the god was _really _good looking. "He hasn't been interested in anything in a while. He's looking at you very intently." He added, nodding to Sokka. Sokka was surprised and turned to look at the monster Fish with a raised eyebrow, raising his chin in a silent '_What's up?' _salute.

"Which way to Hei Bai?" Toph asked. The Moon drifted towards a new corridor that just appeared. Agni drifted towards her and held her hand again. The two Spirits hovered forward, leading the way.

"They look cute together." Accepted Suki.

"And Agni, he seems to be _big _on Public Displays of Affection." Katara mentioned casually.

"That's probably the fault of the Water Tribe Moon he's dating." Zuko mumbled darkly. "I bet she's all over him, driving him crazy asking him to hug her and everyone he meets."

"He's not complaining."

"Those Water Tribe Moons, they have _wiles_." He retorted. Sokka was looking at them too. He seemed sad and wistful.

Aang, meanwhile, was walking next to Toph. He seemed worried.

"What did you do? Did you insult La and made sure that he would take this personally?"

"Well, yes. But I also gave him some very good advice. He may take it. If he does, he may feel charitable." She added. Aang shook his head.

"I have to champion Kuei, do you understand that?" He asked full of frustration. "The honor of the Avatars forces me to do this. How am I going to protect you if I need to make sure that he wins you?"

"No one is winning me. I'm not a raffle prize."

"Toph, you need to take this seriously."

"I do. There are no assurances, Fate told me. But I also know us. And I know _you. _You're the luckiest person in the world. Whatever Fate may say, things _always _fall into place for you. If you want something really hard, it would fall into place." She gave him a reassuring smile. He did not return it. He crossed an arm around her shoulders instead. The ultimate gesture of comfort, but there was something else underneath, in the way his open incorporeal fingers grabbed her arm.

When they reached Hei Bai, the Panda was sitting in the middle of the desolate golden landscape. There was someone standing next to the Bear. A Water Tribe woman with the saddest beauty that Toph had seen since reaching the Spirit World. Katara and Sokka gasped.

"Mom!!" Katara cried and ran towards the ghost. Sokka ran as well. They both hugged their mother, who seemed even more insubstantial than everything else in the place. The siblings were openly crying, calling the woman 'mom, mom' over and over again. The woman raised a hand to get them to hush.

"Shush, cubs, shush." She said sweetly. She touched their faces. "I can only stay one moment." She smiled. "I wanted to see you and let you know that I'm always with you. It's not bad in the Pure Lands, I promise. And they let me visit you at night, when you're sleeping. I come in your dreams, and give kisses to your souls. But now I want you to look at me. Look at me and promise me that you'll be happy. Promise me that you'll laugh at every opportunity. Promise me that you'll sing lullabies to your children. I never got the chance to say goodbye, my cubs. I came today to say goodbye." Katara embraced her mother tighter, now that she was fading. "You need to finish this voyage without me, my cub. We'll see each other in the Pure Lands." And with that, the mother was gone, but the pain remained. The siblings hugged each other for balance and comfort, and the panda bear nuzzled them with his snout.

.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

.

They were back in the real world, on the island. Toph was walking without shoes, her boots in her hands, communing with her element before having to climb back on Appa and go back to the South Pole. She rubbed the earth with her toes, happy to be blind again, and to be able to see with her feet. She was happy she understood about colors now. She was happy she knew about how smiles looked, and she was happy she got to see Twinkle Toes tattoos. But she was even happier to feel everything again, instead of seeing. Seeing with eyes was not right. It was unnatural.

The others walked to where she was, to get her to let go of the earth and in Appa. She could _see _them and _feel _them, their movements, their feelings, even their expressions.

"You know guys?" She said stopping, drawing circles in the earth with her toes. "I know I screwed badly in this trip, and that we are all going to face doom because of me, and that I probably just condemned myself to a life of misery and despair, but even then I am happy because I got to see your faces. All of your beautiful, crazy, stupid faces."

Aang helped her climb on Appa. He took the reins this time. When Appa took off, she heard Sokka say:

"Nothing like a trip to the Spirit World to cure you from religion."

* * *

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.

.

A/N. Celestial cameos in this fanfic:

_**The Dragon Gods or Dragon Kings**_: In Chinese Mythology these are the gods who rule rivers and oceans, and protect mortals. The legend of the four dragons is beautiful. They sacrificed themselves for the human race. No, they never ate humans and they are not vegetarians. I made that up. They are usually represented in anthropomorphic form, riding dragons.

_**Dionny**_: This is Dionysus, the Greek god of wine. The Roman Bacchus. His female worshipers, the Maenads were famous party girls, inspired and frenzied. And NO, he does not show up just because you reached the bottom of the bottle of tequila and keep calling his name. Other things are going to show up at that point, but Bacchus is probably not one of them.

_**Baby-Love:**_ The Greek Eros, called Cupid by the Romans. Who is kind of a mystery to me because he seems to share the job duties with his mom, and sometimes is this hunky guy kidnapping Psyche, and other times he's a baby throwing arrows. In this version, he is the baby version of Barry White and sounds exactly like him when he speaks. In case you want to check how Baby-Love speaks, please go to youtube and type in Barry White Can't Get Enough Of Your Love Babe 1974.

_**Tlatli**_: She is inspired by Tlazolteotl, the Aztec goddess of steam baths, midwives, Sin and official patroness of adulterers. Seriously. Go check it out. In my version, she looks like the celestial love child of Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz. She even speaks with the accent _and everything_.

_**Jackal**__: _That's Anubis, the Egyptian god of the Underworld.

_**Agni:**_ The Hindu/Vedic god of fire, who has three forms: fire, lightning and the sun. The bit about the seven tongues, the three legs, the ram, etc. are true. That's how he's usually represented. I felt compassion in my heart for the guy, and gave him enough brains to copy Zuko's form. I don't know why, but in this fanfic Agni has an Oxbridge accent. (You know, the very upperclass British accent where Oxford meets Cambridge).

_**La's father**_ Probably Neptune or Poseidon, the Greco-Roman god of the seas. I say probably, because with Fate's attitude it could have been any lively cod from the coasts of Galicia for all we know.

_**God of Small Annoying Things**_: I Totally made him up. (He looks like Paul Giamatti). Not to be confused with the wonderful novel "_The God of Small Things" _by Arundhati Roy.

_**Hrish:**_ I totally made him up too. NO, I don't know what he looks like. That's what your imagination is for.

_**Fate:**_ Yep, made her up. She looks like … GUESS?? (She speaks with a Brooklyn/ NY accent though. Don't ask me why.)

_**Yue:**_ ATLA

_**La: **_ATLA. The psychological issues and the bad attitude are mine, but is not my fault. It's Fate's and her lousy parental skills.

_**Monotheist God(s):**_ NO ONE that I know. This guy and the others are NOT related to ANY known God here or out there, ever.

_**The Chosen People:**_ They are this small Indian tribe from the jungles of Darien in Central America who kept being bitten by mosquitoes. They changed gods, and went with a different deity not interested in Chosen Ones, moved to the archipelago of San Blas and lived happily ever after. No, I was not referring to any other People that may be Chosen and Miserable out there.

_**Katara's mom:**_ Her bit was inspired by the beautiful song "_Historia de un sueño_" (that's Foreign for History of a Dream) by the amazing Spanish group _La Oreja de Van Gogh. _ Go check it out if you speak Foreign. Go to youtube and type Historia de un sueño.

_**The Pure Lands: **_Kind of like a Buddhist Nirvana.

**_Any resemblance between the Pantheon of the Gods and Cori Celesti in the AMAZING AND EXTRAORDINARY books of MY ULTIMATE HERO and wordsmith EXTRAORDINAIRE SIR TERRY PRATCHETT is not coincidental. This entire chapter is in HOMAGE to him. However, the bit of broccoli and chocolate comes from my elder sister, who was juggling two guys at the same time at one point in her life and who kept telling me that one was like chocolate and the other was like broccoli. She ended up with the broccoli because that was the sane thing to do, but several years later ran to the arms of the chocolate. You just cannot deny chocolate. The first time I read Terry Pratchett take on the matter I was aghast about the fact that he was putting in paper my sister's crazy approach to relationships. A friend of mine says that everything written and created in this world is a palimpsest. I agree with him completely. (Don't feel bad, I had to run to the dictionary too. That's the reason why I choose friends smarter than me. There's nothing I can do about my family, though.) _**

**_The God of Small Annoying Things is the most despicable deity out there. And yes, he's married to Terry Pratchett's Annoia, the Goddess of Things that Get Stuck in Drawers._**


	19. Overcoming Technicalities

_**THANK YOU**__ so much ALL of you that have reviewed and/or PM me. It helps me SO MUCH. English is not my language. I'm a Foreign speaker. So please accept my apologies for the mistakes. I'm working and learning from this. So this is a grammar exercise as much as is an exercise on creativity to figure out what I should be doing with my life. The best? The never ending talent of the people I've met through here and DeviantArt._

_ALSO, I added a note at the end of Chapter 18 where I explain my __**LOVE**__ for __**TERRY PRATCHETT**__ and the relationship between him, my family, broccoli and chocolate. I think Fanfiction never sent the alert when I posted that chapter, so if you haven't read it go and check it out. _

_And now, for something completely different, FANART!!_

_(1) Beautiful Katara by the Amazing Gaby_

_http : / / gabzillaz dot deviantart dot com / art / AMoH-Katara-97238285_

_(2) Adorable and Snappy dressed Aang in color by the best designer Luna!_

_http : / / luna-wannabe dot deviantart dot com / art / Aang-MoH-Planning-97333903_

_(Copy, paste and delete spaces or just click on my profile for the links)_

_._

_

* * *

_

**XIX. Overcoming Technicalities **

The trip back to the South Pole felt shorter than the trip to the island. Every minute that took her back to the ice made Toph cringe with apprehension. To distract herself, she decided to draft an anonymous message to Mai:

_Dear Mai: Second Rule of the Girly Code: Why do a wedding, when you can do the best man instead? Signed, The Blind Bandit. _

She thought for a moment about the message, and then leaned towards Sparky and whispered on his ear.

"Hey, Sparky, who was supposed to be your best man at your wedding?"

"I'm not marrying Mai." He answered tiredly.

"Okay, in an hypothetical world, if you were getting married, who would be your best man?"

"Aang, I guess. Or Sokka. Why?"

"Nothing." _OK, scratch this message. We don't want Mai doing the best men._ She then thought hard and made a mental note for the next one:

_Dear Mai: Second Rule of the Girly Code. Always, always, have a Plan B. Signed, The Blind Bandit._

They finally reached the South Pole when the sun was setting. Autumn in the rest of the world meant Spring in the South Pole, so the days were slowly getting longer. Toph had no idea that the sun was setting until Suki said: _There goes Agni_. They landed Appa in the stables, and made their way to the Hall. The session of the assembly had obviously ended, because they found Chief Hakoda in the middle of the hall drinking tea with Fire Lord Iroh, Lady Ursa, Chief Anook, King Bumi, Master Pakku, Gran-Gran, Bato and the rest of the White Lotus contingent. The young people stood at the entrance when they were noticed by the older generation.

Fire Lord Iroh stood up and came to them.

"You're back." He stated and Toph felt him hugging Zuko. "I'm glad you're all back." The older firebender then leaned forward and she heard him whisper. "I need to talk to you and Avatar Aang. Immediately." Next to her she felt Zuko and Aang bowing, before leaving with uncle Iroh. Someone came to her and grabbed her hand. Gran-Gran.

"Come children." She beckoned. "You all look that you could use some tea and some food. Your father wants to talk to you." She said to Sokka, before steering the young women away.

Gran-Gran took them to a different room with Lady Ursa. The two older women boiled tea and gave cups to the girls, with small bowls with rice and dumplings. Ursa then asked, while they were sipping their tea and eating:

"How is my grandfather?" like it was the most normal thing in the world to travel to the Spirit World and talk to an Avatar that passed away almost 117 years ago.

"He is fine, Lady Ursa." Katara answered respectfully. "Zuko was really happy to meet him." Toph heard the Lady Ursa sighing with content and then mumbling

"I'm so glad Zuko got to meet my grandfather." They sipped the tea in silence. The pervading feeling in the room was overcast.

"So, what's the word from the Spirits?" Gran-Gran finally asked.

"Not good. La says that the Contest must go on. Avatar Kyoshi says that Aang must champion the Earth King. Aang is the most powerful bender in the world, no other suitor will be able to defeat him." Katara answered with sadness.

Lady Ursa sipped her tea.

"Why doesn't the Avatar just fights for the hand of the maiden himself? If he is a contestant, he doesn't have to champion the Earth King."

That _sounded _good, until Gran-Gran intervened with that bad habit old people tend to have of finding the fly in the soup.

"The Avatar cannot participate in the Contest. He's engaged to Katara. He's already committed, and whomever wins the contest, wins the maiden."

"No one is winning me." Tohp grumbled.

"It may have been possible for Aang to do that before the Earth King exercised the covenant" Katara corrected, "but Aang is now bound by the honor of the Avatars to help the king. I don't think he can betray the covenant by becoming a contestant."

Lady Ursa took this in. Toph could feel her looking intently a Katara.

"So, dear nu-er, is that true? Are you getting married to the Avatar after all?" Katara shifted uncomfortably.

"I'll be doing what is right." She answered evasively, quoting Fate. Gran-Gran sipped her tea again.

"What is right." The older Water Tribe lady repeated. "What is Right. Well. I guess you should, then. You're going to be 19 soon and have been running around with that kid since he was 12. I guess it was about to happen. Didn't think that the kid had it in him, though. Deceiving little thing, the flying kid, with the innocent look and the strange tattoos. I guess your Water Tribe _heritage_ got the upper hand finally."

"What do you mean Gran-Gran, my Water Tribe heritage?" Katara asked confused.

"The Water Tribe heritage that make our women really passionate. In my time it was a real problem up North. Then some of the male elders came up with the idea of teaching the girls that 'Abstinence Only' was the ideal way of dealing with the heritage. The result was that the elders had to lower marriage age to 16 because most girls were already in the family way by then."

The girls gasped.

"I'm not in the family way!" Katara said with horror.

"You're not? Good. Don't feel like having to explain the ten-pound-and-head-full-of-hair premature baby."

"We have a similar problem in the Fire Nation." Ursa said casually.

"With the Abstinence Only Education?" Gran-Gran inquired.

"Oh no, not that. We teach our girls everything that they need to know. No, I was referring about the passionate heritage. Interesting, isn't? How similar our cultures can be." Toph felt Katara shifting uncomfortably again, and wondered if Ursa was looking at Katara. She wondered as well how much had Zuko confided in his mother.

"Well" Gran-Gran was still talking. "Now that we are on the topic of passion, and because you girls keep running around with those boys, I want to offer my advice in case there's anything that you would like to know."

"Like what?" Toph asked, and she felt Suki and Katara giving her a little push, not wanting to accept the offer.

"Like Abstinence Only sucks. At your age, there's no much abstinence to go around. Abstinence Only works in people my age, and that's because we have no other choice. Well, not me really because I re-married and we are still in the honeymoon phase. Don't make that face, Katara, one day you'll be my age. Girls, you need to be prepared. There are precaution herbs. Waterbenders like you, Katara, can practice bending on themselves."

"Gran-Gran, you're mistaken." Katara's voice was full of embarrassment. "My relationship with Aang is not like that."

"Is not?" Gran-Gran sounded surprised. "But you're from the Water Tribes, you need an outlet!"

"Gran-Gran, I'm not having this conversation!" Gran-Gran sipped the tea, pensively.

Someone knocked on the door. Suki stood up to open it and Toph heard Zuko.

"Good evening mother, Gran-Gran. Katara, I need to talk to you." He said with determination. The Waterbender practically ran out of the place. Toph heard Zuko's voice trailing while leading Katara away. "_We need to make this decision together._"He was saying before getting out of earshot.

"So, if that's true about the Fire Nation heritage, how do you explain Mai?" Toph said before common sense kicked in.

"Mai can be passionate about certain things." Ursa said placidly. "I'm not sure that her type of passion matches my son's though. He is a stoic, serious boy. He needs a different balance." Toph discerned then that Ursa knew everything that there was to know about her son and his secret girlfriend.

Gran-Gran was still ruminating.

"Hum. That girl is outletting somewhere. She must be." Ursa sipped her tea calmly.

"There is a poem in the Fire Nation that goes something like this: '_Look at her Sage, if thou have eyes to see, she has deceived her father and may thee_'_._"

Someone came to the door again. It was Sokka.

"Suki, I need to talk to you. Come." Suki jumped and left the room. Gran-Gran turned to Toph. She could feel the older woman gaze on her.

"I'm blind, I don't have eyes to see anything." She warned the two ladies.

"Abstinence Only _only _works if there's abstinence." Gran-Gran insisted. Toph thought that the lady had a lot of common sense.

"OK."

"You're the only one that looks to me that needs some advice. The other two are obviously passed the point of advice."

"What makes you say that?"

"They were neither offended nor curious. Just embarrassed. You're curious. So, I'm going to give you a tip. I've noticed that my future grand-daughter in law gives tea to her warriors every morning. It's compulsory for those girls to drink that tea." Gran-Gran drank hers. "If I were to have doubts about abstaining, I would try some of that tea. My grandson is not that bright sometimes, but he has excellent taste in girlfriends."

Toph assented gravely, chewing her food. The dainty conversation replayed in her head together with La's threats. She may be running out of time to find out about certain things before facing impending doom. Some tea may be good. Or maybe unnecessary, if death was the final destination. But deep down, Toph was an optimist. Better drink some tea than having to explain a lot of things if the end of the world did not happen.

"Maybe the flying kid also needs an outlet, and I don't think my grand daughter is interested." Gran-Gran was one track mind lady. She was not quitting the topic. "If she were, she wouldn't have been complaining so much about my herring bone collection for the past ten months. No way to get that girl to relax." Gran-Gran turned to Ursa. "So, how do Fire Nation kids deal with the heritage?"

"They also find outlets and act like the rest of the world is dumb." Ursa answered elegantly.

Someone knocked on the door. Toph immediately recognized Aang's light movements.

"Good evening." He said gravely. "May I speak with Toph?" She heard Gran-Gran moving her arm.

"She's all yours. I did my duty." Toph ran out of the room. Aang grabbed her arm and started walking along side her with purpose.

"There is something you need to know, Toph." He was saying and she heard anger in his voice. Real anger. "It has to do with Kuei." He then added in a very low whisper. "After this is over, Kyoshi has some serious explaining to do." He took her to a room. She sensed other people in the room. Iroh was there, as well as Hakoda, and Bumi. There were others, but she wasn't sure who because she was back on ice.

"What's going on?" Toph asked, expecting the worse.

"We intercepted a messenger hawk from the Earth King." Iroh said simply, without bothering with excuses about why they were intercepting messenger hawks from the Earth King or who were 'they'. "The message is not good."

"Why, what's in the message?"

"There were instructions regarding some new construction the Earth King is doing in his palace."

Toph was nonplussed.

"Oh, I know about that. He's building a rock garden off the west wing."

"No, he's not. He's building an entire new wing. For you. He's only using wood."

The news sunk in.

"_What_?"

"He's building you a wooden palace. Everything is wood, including the locks and down to the screws."

She felt dread down to her toes. Followed by anger up to the roots of her hair. For the first time since the entire thing started the thought struck her that, maybe, just maybe, she needed to take Kuei seriously. Kuei and the Fish. And that made her really, really upset.

"WHERE IS THAT GOOD FOR NOTHING ABNORMAL CIRCUS MORON??" She yelled, before heading to the door. Aang halted her.

"Toph stop! Screaming at him will only make him want you more!" He tried to explain. She stopped on her tracks.

"You're the most powerful bender in the world and you're championing him!" She said, with despair. "What am I going to do? He's going to lock me in a wooden cell!!"

"No, he's not. You're getting a new suitor." A voice said suddenly and determinedly. It was Katara's.

"What?" Toph was confused.

"I just put my name on the list." Zuko added.

"Are you crazy?" Toph jumped, trying to process the horror in her brain.

"No." She heard Sokka. "None of us is. We are entering as a team. Like the Rough Rhinos."

"Who is we?"

"Team Avatar, of course. Minus the Avatar. The other team had 'first pick'." Toph had to grab Aang for balance. He held her and walked her to a sit. She sat, shocked.

"You mean, you guys are going to enter as contestants?"

"Yes." Sokka said. "Katara, Zuko, Suki and me."

"Who gets to marry me if you guys win?"

"I do." Zuko answered and his voice was final. Toph gasped. She shook her head.

"This is absurd. Absolutely absurd. This means, that you guys will be fighting Aang for me?"

"You just said it. He's the most powerful bender. The only ones who can take him are his teachers." Sokka reasoned, sounding lucid for once. "And those who know him well. Like Suki and me."

Toph kept moving her head. She then raised it resolutely.

"If you guys are taking on Twinkle Toes, I want to help." She tried to place someone. "Chief Hakoda, can I enter the contest as my own contestant? To win myself?"

"No. You cannot marry yourself. That's the only other rule that we have managed to figure out." The Water Tribe warrior answered sadly.

"Well, can I support a team within the Contest? I mean, can I help a team?"

"There's nothing that prohibits it, even though it has never been done before. Usually, the maiden is not supposed to prefer one suitor over another. So I guess you can."

"It's official. I'm also Aang's teacher. If we are taking on the flying monk, I'm in. I'm part of Team Avatar." She heard Aang mumbling to himself '_Flying monk?_'

"Toph, there's not much bending you can do on the South Pole." Sokka remind her. She shot a venomous look to the world, because she couldn't focus her eyes on anything.

"I know. But I still have a brain, a good attitude and I'm utterly aggravated. I can be of _some _help. At least, Sokka, it will keep me _sane_." Sokka understood the value of a sane Toph.

"You're in."

"And now that we're on topic, I need to talk to the other two teachers. Alone." Toph stood up and shot a finger towards where she had heard Zuko and Katara's voices. "Sparky, Sweetness, we need to talk. NOW." Katara grabbed her arm and the three of them walked out of the place. When they were out of earshot, Toph said. "Let's go to your room, Sugarcakes, we need some privacy."

They reached Katara's room and Toph sat on the bed. She heard Sparky bending fire on the stove and the room was immediately filled with warmth.

"Are you two imbeciles mentally disturbed?" She asked, throwing daintiness through the door. To be honest, not that there was much to begin with.

"No, we are not." Katara answered. "We're doing the right thing, and you for once should be grateful instead of insulting us."

"So, you two don't have enough with Aang that you want to adopt _me_ now?" Toph asked in disbelief.

"Is not that. We're trying to save you from Kuei. There was something else in the message." Sparky's voice was somber.

"What, what else?"

"Kuei _likes_ to be manhandled and ordered about. So there were instructions regarding … things that he wants in your wooden wing." Toph took her hand to her mouth. That was it. She was so _disgusted _that she felt like her stomach was about to join the circus.

"The instructions were specific. He seems to think that the wooden cell will make you both, angry and desperate enough that you would want to … _play._ He also thinks that eventually, you will fall in love with him." Katara had sat next to her and was grabbing her hand.

"How can someone be brainsick enough to get _that _idea?" She asked, in desperation.

"He got the Dai Li to spy on you. Some of the reading material you've been favoring lately included implausible and _stupid _stories of women being forced to marry, or held captive by, arrogant and distant men. Seems like the heroines in those stories like to be verbally and emotionally mistreated by mysterious and detached men, who are invariably royalty. Against all logic, those heroines fall in love with such men _while_ fighting them, and everything culminates in badly written ravishing scenes."

Toph gave Sparky her most irate face.

"Ok, I give it to you. You _were_ right. Those romance scrolls are garbage, OK? Garbage!! But now is not the time to go after me because I have lousy taste in literature. The ravishing scenes are usually good!"

"Not when Kuei is getting ideas from them." Sparky concluded and Toph felt like crying.

"But Sparky, you and Sweetness, you guys are finally together and figuring your stuff out. You guys cannot do this. If you win this absurd contest, the Fish is going to force us to marry because there is no better way to make a person miserable than making her the cause of the unhappiness of two of the people she cares for the most in the entire world."

Katara hugged her.

"What do you think _we feel_ when we imagine you in a wooden cell, alone with a Kuei full of ideas from romance scrolls?" She said. Sparky sat on the other side of her and hugged her too. Katara's constant requests of Public Displays of Affection were starting to take effect.

"At least with us in the Fire Nation you will be able to bend your own furniture in your room." Sparky said. "And you will have Yin and his men to keep you entertained with gambling and fire whiskey." Toph tilted her head.

"Us? Are you coming to the Fire Nation too, Sugarcakes?"

She heard Katara making a small noise, and then a resolutely:

"Yes. We talked about it. It's going to take a while to figure this out, and Zuko was only willing to do this if I came along."

Toph sighed deeply.

"Aren't you guys the romantics? Proposing marriage to me _together_. We may need to build a temple for Tlatli in the middle of the palace, Sparky. What, with you coming with wife _and_ mistress on tow at the same time. Sweetness, I want the big room that's on the other side of the palace from Sparky's. Very far away from you two. You can keep the pretty one with the inner garden next door to his." Toph touched both their faces. "We're going to revolutionize that stuffy court of yours, Sparky. Let's show them!"

She felt them smiling sadly.

"Toph, we're not crazy." Sparky said. "We're as blind as you right now. The only guidance we have is the advice of an unhinged Goddess who likes to gamble with the future of my islands. That and weird visions from a tree that likes math. We both decided to follow our instincts regarding what feels right and what doesn't. You in a wooden cell with Kuei equals _very _wrong. Us trying to save you from such a fate, equals very right. That's as far as we are getting right now. There's no way to plan this through and Sokka said it best: we need to improvise and that's what we will be doing."

Toph lowered her head.

"What about Aang?" She asked and she knew the answer before Katara said it.

"If there is something we cannot do right now, is to give Aang any reasons to be angry at any of us. We don't want him confounded and winning this by mistake."

"So, you won't be breaking up with him?"

"Not for now. Aang seems very confused lately. Maybe you kissing him has something to do with that, I don't know. But he's still Aang, he's still stubborn and he stills professes love for me."

"Take it from someone who knows." Sparky added, levelly. "Even if he's confused about his feelings right now, nothing spurs certainty faster than the idea that he _may be_ losing his girlfriend." Sparky stopped for a moment. "You kissed Aang?"

Toph decided not to even _attempt_ the research argument. She ignored the question instead.

"So, I guess this is it. On one hand, I get to be Fire Lady. On the other, I get to be Earth Queen. If I'm lucky, I become the teenage bride of a very creepy Firebending Master who needs money." She stopped. "That's it! Chin says that for seven copper pieces Fire Nation citizens can undo their vows. You can repudiate me Sparky. You can accuse me of being too cool for your palace or something." She stopped and raised a finger. "Do not kick me out for any of the lame usual reasons, like being barren or an adulterer. Let's make up a good one. Like I'm too smart for you and may throw off the Fire Nation heritage."

He chuckled, throwing himself in the bed. She felt Katara throwing herself in the bed too. Toph was still sitting in the middle of them, but she felt how they extended their arms, lacing their fingers together. She then remembered Katara telling her about the long conversations with Sparky in the swamp. The way she had described them spoke of freedom. Free to be whomever she was, all the time, with him. With Aang, that was probably a luxury for her. And Toph felt incredibly sad for herself and for the vibrations she was getting from them. Like suddenly, they had forgotten that she was in the room.

"I love you." Katara said to him, and there was this thing in her voice that told Toph that she was not expecting an answer.

"I love _you._" He answered. Silence fell in the room. Toph stood up and left the room to give them privacy, but she heard Katara gasp a sob. She closed the door softly behind her and leaned against it. She still could hear Sparky. "I love you with everything that I am. And I want you with me, until the last day of my life, and the last day of yours."

Toph walked away.

__________________________

Toph wondered what to do and where to go. She was still hungry and she could use some fire whiskey. Why with the fact that she had just gotten practically engaged to both, her best friend and her best friend's clandestine boyfriend, she was talking about 24 year old fire whiskey. She could picture Tlatli dancing. She made a mental note about Chosen Ones. In her books, it was right there next to Abstinence Only as far as she could gather in lousiness. She did not want to go back to where everyone else was because she didn't want to highlight the fact that Zuko and Katara were alone together. They deserved their privacy and their need to celebrate that Sparky had finally uttered the Three Letter Phrase, probably arm-wrestling himself. In the face-off of Water Tribe heritage versus Fire Nation heritage that was probably going on right now, there were probably the same amount of losers than winners and _that_ deserved some peace.

Toph wished for Twinkle Toes to show up. She was really missing his fleeting caresses and deep kisses. When he kissed her, she could feel that his lips were acting against the advice of his conscience but dragging along the rest of his body. T.T. had come a long way from the shy first kiss from several days ago. He was becoming a really, _really_ good kisser. Her feet could tell, her toes would jump on their own only with the sound of his voice. Toph wondered if she would be able to get the rest of him to follow his lips in shameless behavior.

She found herself back at the only place she had been feeling comfortable lately in the entire South Pole. In front of the armoire. If she were back in the Earth Kingdom, she would be bending herself a rock-tent and hiding away from the world in confidence. Being in the South Pole meant a smelly armoire. Whatever. Better than nothing. She climbed inside the armoire and closed the door. She closed her eyes and tried to focus on the memories of Twinkle Toes kisses and not in the abysmal situation she was currently in.

She heard people coming into the room. She did not make a noise. It probably made sense that if she was in the armoire, random people with random secrets would show up. Those were the odds. She perked her ears, trying to place the voices. A man and a woman. Elegant voices, controlled and mature. Voices that carried history together, but not a future.

"It was evident. They are together." The woman was saying. Lady Ursa. "Even your mother noticed it."

"But they are competing! They may actually win. What are they trying to do?" Hakoda. Freaking Chief Hakoda of the Unified Southern Water Tribes.

"It's not our place to dictate the lives of our children, but to guide them with advice. Most of the time, they don't want and won't heed our advice. My son and your daughter, though, it's all over them. You can cut it with a knife."

"I know. I noticed it too. The way she reacted when he arrived. So different than the way she has been acting around the Avatar."

"The Avatar seems distracted too. By Agni, why would these young people continue with this charade? Whom do they think they are deceiving?"

"Just themselves. They're trying to do the right thing. They are protecting a friend. And the way this thing is shaping up, their friend needs some protection."

"It breaks my heart. All of them so confused. None have mastered the art of deception."

"No." Silence. Toph then heard someone moving. Rustle of clothes. "Not like us. If your son is the same kind of lover you are, my poor child is lost forever." Hakoda said.

"If your daughter is like you, he won't let go. I haven't."

Toph hung her head. She would be banging it against the walls of the armoire if it wasn't because she didn't want to call attention to herself. She then heard something else. Like tiny voices that could be heard from afar, no more than an echo in her head.

"_Pay up!_"

"_No, you promised fireflakes and there aren't any. I'm not paying until I get my fireflakes. What kind of show is this one?"_

Toph whispered, almost to herself.

"Hello?"

"_Crap. I forgot. She has been to the Spirit World. She can see us now._"

"_She's blind, she cannot see us. She can hear us, though._"

"Tlatli? Fate? What are you guys doing?"

"_Spreading some love? Oh, my, look at that, how are they kissing! Where are the fireflakes?!_"

"I can't believe this" Toph was whispering furiously, making sure not be heard outside the armoire. "You guys have _waaaay_ too much time in your hands! Can't you focus your energy in famine-ravaged villages or something?"

"_War is over. No more famine, pestilence or death._"

"_And for your information, this counts as charity. Totally._"

"_He needs some sugar. She does too. I've seen her current husband. Good looking but Really Scary. This one, hawt and sweet. Like strong tea."_

"_This is good charity."_

"Could you two be any more crass?"

"_Refinement is Not a pre-requisite for divinity._"

"_Religion in general is a very unrefined exercise. Shut up, they are leaving!_"

Toph heard Hakoda.

"I need to talk to some of the heads of state. This infernal contest starts tomorrow and we still need to shape-up the first task. Later?"

"Always. You know, if our children manage to sort their situation out, we will be seeing each other often." She paused. "I can't leave Azula or Ozai."

"I know. I knew it from the beginning. Let's enjoy what we have while we have it."

"_Ooohhhh!! See? We are soooo Kind. HIGH FIVE!! Hey, where are you going?_"

"_To the other room. The other two are celebrating that he finally confessed his love."_

"_Yaai!! More charity!!"_

The Spirit voices disappeared. Toph hugged her knees waiting. For something. It was bound to happen. She was in the armoire, those were the odds.

"Knock-knock"

She opened the armoire door, trying to place who was knocking.

"Great Master?" Chin. Thank the Spirits! Good, reliable Chin. "Master Suki told me that I may find you here. She did tell me not to tell anyone else. Are you OK?"

"I need some fire whiskey, some food and a place where religion cannot find me. Can you provide any of those?"

"Fire whiskey and food. Don't know about religion. Not big on worshiping."

"That's my guy." She jumped outside the armoire. Chin, like the good despicable firebender that he was, had a huge flask of fire whiskey and salted dumplings with him. He heated the flask and gave her the dumplings. Everything tasted like nirvana to Toph. It took her a moment to notice something else. There was an extra presence in the room. A foreboding presence that reeked of boldness and wickedness. Ah, yes, and a lack of baths. Probably since forever.

"What's that smell?" She asked, covering her nose.

Chin sounded hurt.

"Why, who else but El Tuerto, Great Master."

"El Tuerto?" Toph was surprised. "You mean the hawk that was supposed to deliver the message to Mai in the Fire Nation?"

"The bird that _delivered_ the message to the Fire Nation." Chin corrected. Toph couldn't believe it.

"You're joking. It haven't been a day. Do you mean to tell me that the hawk went and came back?"

"El Tuerto is very fast, Great Master."

"I think El Tuerto is pulling a fast one on you. No way he delivered that message to Mai."

Chin sounded now sorely offended. Almost on the brink of tears.

"Great Master, don't say those things about El Tuerto. Of course he completed the mission, he always does. When he came back, he had this on his beak." Chin put something on her hands. A shuriken, one of Mai's scary knives.

"You mean to tell me that it caught this with his teeth?"

"Yes. Never underestimate El Tuerto. He's actually the reason why I was looking for you. Captain Yin told me to find you to get the next message." Toph was happy that she had drafted the message that afternoon. Her life may be a mess, but she also understood the value of charity. Sending messages to Mai to let her know what was coming _totally _counted as charity. She dictated the message to Chin, who immediately placed it on El Tuerto's leg.

"You seem very attached to this hawk." She mentioned casually. Chin was surprised.

"But of course, Great Master. El Tuerto belongs to no one, but we have been together since he broke me out of jail. We joined the Fire Nation army together."

"You're an ex-convict?" Somehow, it made sense. She wondered why she never knew this before.

"Not the way you make it sound, Great Master."

Chin told her the story. It had happened when the Fire Nation was still at war. He was dodging the draft and ended in this border town between the Earth Kingdom and Nowhere. One of those towns where people speak Foreign, make mean drinks with limes, and manage to really enjoy life playing maracas and dancing all night. After several days of partying non stop, Chin had pulled a muscle while trying to firebend an entire possum-pig for the roast. The locals gave him some medicinal herbs as a pain-killer. Ill-advised by some of the guys at the Cantina, he decided to smoke the tea instead of brewing it and ended up in jail. Because while making tea was perfectly legal, smoking it was prohibited. Chin had managed to escape jail thanks to an evil bird missing an eye with which no one wanted to share a cell. In this border town, misbehaving animals were put in prison. Chin never knew exactly what had El Tuerto done to warrant incarceration. The bird never talked. But it was a cunning bird and it managed to break them out and guide Chin to the safety of the Fire Nation. They became inseparable.

El Tuerto was not really a hawk. It was the byproduct of an alley cat that got frisky with a chicken, but what El Tuerto lacked in physical beauty it compensated with attitude. When mating season was on, no animal (or species for that matter) was sacred. El Tuerto was an equal opportunity ravisher. Chin once found an alligator cowering under the bed, trying to hide from El Tuerto's advances. Chin liked El Tuerto immensely.

"When we joined the army," Chin continued, "El Tuerto was discriminated by the other hawks. They gave him the cold shoulder, Great Master. But he didn't let those uppities get the better of him just because they know what species they are. Not my bird, no. He soon had the entire coop obeying his commands." Chin lowered his voice. "They are like his orderlies now." Toph noticed that Chin always referred to El Tuerto as "he". The description and smell of the bird qualify it as "it" in her opinion, but she knew that love was as blind as she.

"If there is an individual in this world that can avenge Lee is my bird, Great Master." Chin continued. "He bows to no one. And no scorned woman is going to make El Tuerto cry."

Toph raised the fire whiskey flask.

"To Lee. A brave man. So brave, that he was too afraid of Sunshine to run away." She drank deeply. "I need to get Sparky to dump that witch."

"It was El Tuerto who intercepted the messenger hawk from the Earth King, Great Master." Chin added. Toph perked up immediately.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I don't really know what was El Tuerto trying to do. He was on his way back from the Fire Nation, probably upset that Noblewoman Mai tried to kill him or something, I don't know, but he took down the Earth King messenger hawk. That's how we found out about his plans." Chin was too polite to mention it, but she could picture the Earth King hawk totally dishonored, albeit probably happy about it. "We took the opportunity to do some counter-intelligence."

"Meaning?"

"We changed the message. The Earth King was requesting some weird stuff, so we substituted those things for stuffed animals and gave orders to place metal screws and locks all over the wooden wing. You deserve a chance, Great Master."

Toph wiped a tear. These fireguys kept moving her inner tenderness. She punched Chin in the arm in response, and he seemed happy.

"Why did you punch him?" She heard Aang ask, and she leaped where she was sitting on the floor.

"Because they were the ones that intercepted the message from Kuei." She answered a bit defensively. She had already drank her fair share of fire whiskey, which was probably affecting her senses and making her act weird. Particularly because she felt like explaining herself, and that was not something she wanted to do for anyone. Ever.

"Chin, I was looking for you. Master Suki told me to found you here." Aang said instead, coming over and sitting on the floor next to the soldier. Toph heard Momo chattering on Aang's shoulder and heard the airbender taking something out of his robes. "I need you to read this carefully. It's the covenant between the Water Tribes and the Spirit of the Ocean. I need to know if there are any weak points in the covenant. Also, I need you to review this one. It's a copy of the covenant between Avatar Kyoshi and the 46th Earth King. I need to know exactly what it says before the task tomorrow."

Chin scratched his arm. Toph heard El Tuerto flapping his wings. It was probably sitting on Chin's shoulder.

"No offense, Avatar, but I'm just a law school drop out. Shouldn't you look for a real attorney?"

Aang was adamant.

"I choose my teachers and I choose my attorney. No one wanted to believe that I was right when choosing an inexperienced waterbender, a blind little earthbender or my former enemy as teachers. And they all exceeded expectations. I know what I'm doing. I trust you. I don't trust other attorneys." Toph heard Chin bowing.

"I'll be honored Avatar." Chin stood up. "I need to say goodnight. El Tuerto has a long trip ahead, and we all need to go to bed. The first task is tomorrow, and you need my help."

Toph extended her arm to give Chin the fire whiskey flask. The soldier took it, she heard him bowing, and leaving the room with El Tuerto still flapping.

"That bird was looking at Momo in a weird way." Aang, the Equally Opportunity Lover of All Animals, said. "I think Momo was nervous."

"If I were Momo, I would be." Toph answered cryptically. Aang passed an arm across her shoulders.

"I was looking for you too. How are you feeling?"

"Like hell. First task is tomorrow, and for the first time since I know you, no, wait, second time since I've met you, I want you to lose. Really, really lose. But I don't want Sparky to win either. This is a horrible mess."

"When was the first time that you wanted to me to lose?"

"At the Earth Rumble Six where you cheated with your airbending and stole my champion belt."

He did not explain that one again. They've been through that discussion countless times.

"I don't want to win. I've the impression that the covenant is going to request me doing my best or something like that, but I don't plan on winning." She leaned her head on his shoulder. She was tired but happy that he had showed up. She had been missing his touch and was hopeful that he would kiss her. He did something else. He said:

"Should we go to my room?" She raised her head surprised.

"Why your room?"

She heard him scratch his head.

"No one is going to look for you there tomorrow, and that would give us more time."

"What about Kuei's people looking for you?"

"I spoke to Kuei tonight. I went to see him to tell him that I spoke with Kyoshi and that I will uphold the honor of the Avatars. And that I wanted a copy of the covenant. You were right, his attorneys had several copies. I also told him that neither him nor anyone from his retinue is to look for me or try to reach me outside of the tasks of the Contest. I'll do my duty, but he's not to contact me outside of it."

Toph leaned her head against his shoulder again.

"Are you going to reach out to your inner firebender and make sure I'm warm all night?"

"Among other things." She tried to stand up and he stood up with an easy breeze. He grabbed her hand and help her up.

They started walking to his room. He was holding her hand, not her arm. She wondered what would anyone say if they happened to see them, but then thought that most people just saw what they wanted to see, and that no one would believe anything improper between her and the Avatar. Which proved that most of the time people's perceptions were wrong. Probably because they would only use their eyes to see.

They reached Aang's room, and the stove in the middle of the room was on. The place was warm. She threw herself on the bed, while Aang sent Momo away, giving him instructions to reach the stables and stay with Appa. He then laid down next to her, caressed her face and kissed her.

"What other things?" She asked, her eyes closed. He kept kissing her, opening her mouth with his, exploring her.

"I'm going to warm your feet." He said.

"Good."

"And I'm going to warm your legs, and your arms, and your waist, and every bit of you that needs warming."

"Good too." She wrapped her arms around his neck. She felt his hands opening her robe carefully and exploring from her waist up, to her chest. She made a small sound, slightly anxious. He was not taken aback.

"You're scrumptious." He said and she stopped kissing him back, astonished. That was a word for you. Actually, she thought, a rather sweet word, that echoed cravings and wants. "It's true" He said kissing her eyes, and her nose and her lips. "You are."

She then realized that they were moving towards the _serious _making out stage. She had heard of it. The stage were inexperience meets enthusiasm and there is a lot of kissing, and touching, and sighing as a result, but there is also a carefully drawn line in the beach of desire. A line that does not get crossed unless both agree beforehand. And she was happy with having that line tonight. It made sense to explore and recognize before stepping through a one way door.

She thought she heard something when he removed his own clothes and put her hands in his chest so she could explore his muscles, his stomach, his navel. She traced the mounds of his anatomy with her fingers, including the scar on his back. Just when he was carefully removing the bindings of her chest, she heard it again. A faint noise, that sounded like:

"_What the hell did you do with those fireflakes, girl?"_

Aang stopped.

"Did you hear anything?" He asked, bewildered.

"_Crap! I forgot, he's the Avatar!"_

Toph shook her head.

"No, nothing." She said with a straight face. He was still doubtful.

"I'll swear I heard..." Toph refused to get distracted. She pressed her now naked chest against his. He immediately forgot about the voices.

"_Let's go, let's go. He can curse us or something, he's a powerful Avatar."_

That night, also, Toph and Aang discovered that _heavy petting_ meant something more than patting Appa very hard on the head.

* * *

.

_Fire Nation poet: Shakespeare, Othello. act 1, sc. 3, l. 292-3._

_I found a promising fanfic by Loiel called "In the Cover of Night". Rated M. 2 chapters full of angst, adultery, and romance. (Yeah! Who likes Vanilla? Not me!) Zutara. _


	20. Fifth Interlude, Tresses and Oaths

**XX. Fifth Interlude, Tresses and Oaths**

(_Zuko and Katara_)

They were sitting on the bed, their naked bodies flickering under the light of the stove that irradiated warm from the middle of the room. She was hugging her knees, facing the stove and he was sitting behind her, braiding and unbraiding her hair. He loved to do that. He started doing it in the swamp. Over there it had been really hot, and her hair would get entangled everywhere, and pick up leaves and pieces of bark, depending on the location of their love making. The first time he saw her braiding her hair was at the Temple, before the end of the war. The first time she taught him how to do a braid was after the war, at his palace. The first time she let him braid her hair was at the swamp. She liked him doing that. Running his fingers though her hair, undoing his hard work, and then starting again.

"Sokka would say that this is not manly." He said casually.

"Suki would say that this is really sexy." She answered in the same tone.

He leaned over and placed his chin on her shoulder.

"Things may still turn out to be OK, you know?" She assented but bit her lip.

"I'm not mistress material." She said aloud. He let go of the tresses, and wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm not harem material either." He said. "I'm a person who fixates in one single thing. And that means one woman. You will never be my mistress."

She turned her face to him and kissed him in the cheek.

"It's going to be hard to explain that one to my dad, when the three of us move to the Fire Nation if we win this Contest."

"Let's talk to Chin. Let's find out if it's true about the annulment for seven copper pieces."

"It sounds awfully cheap."

"That's what I'm worried about. Besides, it's Chin giving the advice. That alone is a source of concern."

She chuckled.

"Where do you find these guys?" She asked.

He shrugged, still holding her. His chin in her shoulder, his eyes on the stove.

"Uncle. He's like a magnet for characters like that."

"It figures." She looked straight ahead again.

"So, did she really kiss Aang?"

"That's what she says. He has been acting like it was more than one kiss, though. Either that, or it was the most earth shattering kiss in the universe. She's a mean earthbender, it probably makes sense."

"She doesn't have the size for the amount of trouble she can get herself and my entire army into. Seriously. If she makes it to Earth Queen, she's going to be at war with every nation bordering the Earth Kingdom in six months."

Katara nodded.

"That's a scary thought. We're probably doing the world a favor by trying to make her Fire Lady." He started kissing her shoulder, going down her arm to the tip of her fingers.

"You're the only one who's going and should be Fire Lady." He said. She shuddered. The idea scared her, actually.

"Can you see me dressed like I'm carrying a pole on my back?" She asked while he was kissing finger by finger, putting them in his mouth. He stopped.

"You don't have to follow the Court's dress code. You'll be Fire Lady, you can establish your own style, you know, be a trendsetter. The Court will follow _you_."

"Yeah, like Mai is going to be all excited about wearing red midriff-baring outfits."

"Mai has been taught really well about the rules of society. She will keep her composure. Watch out for knives in your morning breakfast, though. We will need extra detail." She understood that he was not joking. He meant it. She turned to him half surprised, half annoyed.

"I still can't believe that you got engaged by accident. I know you told me because Toph threatened you, but I still can't believe it." He threw himself on the bed, looking at the ceiling. She thought for a moment that he was a beautiful sight, spread in her bed, naked.

"Mine was an accident. Yours was on purpose." He reminded her.

"Mine was a joint decision between you and me. Yours was you going freelance and stupid."

He nodded still looking at the ceiling.

"You have a point. And to round things up, earlier tonight we just got engaged to one of our best friends, simultaneously." He leaned on one elbow looking at her, suddenly serious. "Between the two of us, we have more engagements than people in this relationship."

She nodded gravely.

"That's why we will rule the world. Because we know no limits."

He sat on the bed, and she turned to face him. The only thing she was wearing was her mother's necklace and it was on purpose. He liked seeing her naked with the necklace. It was one of those things. He grabbed her hands.

"You know I mean it when I say that you will never be my mistress. You'll be my wife. You're my wife. Now."

"Bigamy will go very well with the Fire Sages, I just know it."

"Have faith."

"In what? I've been to the Spirit World, I've conversed with the Gods. Not sure if that is the best way to spur faith."

"In us. Things will always be hard for us. We need to fight for things, they don't come easy for the likes of you and me. That means, we value them more."

"We're hardcore."

"Yes." He leaned and kiss her, deeply. She opened her mouth and was about to put her arms around his neck and start making love to him again, when he broke the kiss.

"We should exchange our own vows. Now. In this room."

"You don't have a ring to give me."

"What token do you use in the Southern Water Tribes? I know the necklace is from the North."

"Men usually carve figurines as a gift, and then there are these marks the couple paint on their faces during the wedding ceremony. We used to have this really creepy custom of the groom painting his forehead with the virginity blood of the bride so everyone could see it the next morning, but Gran-Gran put an end to that. Anyway, it's not like we can do that now, the creepy golden opportunity was lost in that smelly swamp." He was thinking while looking at her. She knew his passionate nature.

"Don't even think about burning me, branding me or whatever. I'm not a hippo-cow. I don't like pain either." He frowned. She cut his other train of thought. "No, not cutting my arm and exchanging blood either. I'm telling you, all of those _may_ sound romantic, but they are just disturbing."

"What about an oath?"

"I can do pledges, but don't try to seal it by spitting or anything like that." He was horrified.

"Where do you come up with these things?"

"Sokka."

"You know? Teaching your brother manners and the ways of a gentleman has been harder than finding my destiny. What am I saying? Harder than wooing you!"

"So, are you proposing or what? I'm dying to be fiancée number three."

"You sound like Toph."

"I know." He kissed her and looked into her eyes.

"I vow to you that I am yours for the rest of our lives. And that I'll always honor you and love you. This I pledge, on my honor"

"I vow to you that I am yours for the rest of our lives."

They kissed again.

"You'll marry me." He asserted. She shrugged.

"Hopefully, doing the right thing will mean the right thing for us." She ruffled his hair. "Where's your topknot? You look great with your topknot."

"I got rid of it when we got back together. You kept messing up my hair in those closets, so it was either the topknot or the closets. The topknot had to go."

"You keep messing up mine." He got hold of a long lock and started braiding it again.

"I don't, I make you beautiful." She looked back at the stove.

"What does nu-er mean?"

"It's an old word for daughter in law. Where did you hear it?"

"Your mother always calls me that when you're not around." He stopped.

"Do you think my mom knows about us?" He asked in surprise. She was still looking at the stove.

"She and Gran-Gran cornered us today to give us the facts of life. The only one interested in the topic was Toph." She adverted her gaze and looked him in the eye. "I think your mom knows about us."

He seemed weirdly happy.

"She may as well. You're not going anywhere, I'm not going anywhere. We just exchanged vows and soon we will exchange rings, figurines, bracelets, necklaces, whatever you can come up with."

"You need to get rid of the other two fiancées."

"You still have your fiancé."

"Ah," she said, "but you're my _número uno_."

He started kissing her again and suddenly stopped.

"Toph was interested in the conversation?"

"Yes, why?"

"Do you think there's a possibility that she and Aang … you know, the kiss?"

She thought about it, and then denied it vehemently.

"No way. He's not interested in stuff like that."

It was his turn to be surprised.

"Whatever makes you say that? He's interested. I remember where my brain was when I was 17 and you weren't giving me the time of the day. And anyway, I've been having conversations with him. He _is _interested."

"Naahh. He's not like you. He doesn't seem to be that … concerned."

"I'm not complaining and I'm not asking for details, but maybe, just maybe, he's not as clueless as you think he is. I mean, interest generates interest. There's no getting off kissing a wooden doll."

"Are you calling me a wooden doll?"

"Of course not. At least not with me. If you were wood, you will be on fire right now."

"You've a high opinion of yourself!"

"I do not. In a minute you're going to start asking me to heat the tips of my fingers, or anything else you can think of, and make me play you all over. If you were wood, you would caught fire. Is that simple."

"In a minute you're going to start asking me to bloodbend you and to keeping bloodbending you until you see stars."

"You see? Interest generates interest. You and I can't avoid it. It's all over us." He stopped and thought for a moment. "Now that I think about it, most of my relationships have been because she was interested in me first, and then by default, I became interested."

"I wasn't."

"You were the exception. I was the one interested first, I just didn't know why or how. I thought I wanted to be your friend. I definitively wanted to earn your trust and respect. So I wonder, how did it happen? Friendship, attraction, love? Is that the order?"

"Most of the time is like Suki and Sokka: Attraction, love, friendship."

"But the attraction, the interest, can become mutual if there's a spark." He grabbed another lock of hair. "Maybe Aang is interested because she is. You are not interested in him _that way_ and that creates insecurities. We, men, are very insecure creatures."

"I'm not sure if kissing Toph is the best way to develop security. I mean, do you think that she slaps him senseless or something?"

He was serious out of a sudden.

"You would be surprised how sweet she can be." She looked at him quizzically. And then, nodded.

"I'm not asking for details, but I know what you mean. She can be really tender sometimes."

"Maybe that's what he needs. She tells him horrible things and then she makes him laugh. I don't know anyone else who can get away with the things she gets away with. Not only with him. With all of us. She's made of pure backbone, and sometimes he needs one."

"Maybe you're saying all of this because it would be a relief to your honor and guilt if he's interested in someone else."

"To you too. And yes, he's my friend. It's not honorable to go behind a friend's back. It's honorable to wish for a friend's happiness, though."

"The really silly thing here is that you and I thought that we were doing the right thing by him when we broke up after the swamp. We shouldn't have done it. I've been miserable. I didn't know how bad it was until I was here, without you, thinking about you all the time. There's no way to deny chocolate."

"I beg you pardon?"

"Not important. Are you heating your finger tips or not?"

"Are you asking for Public Displays of Affection?"

"Public and Private." He laid her down on her back in the bed and started showering kisses all over her body, starting with her neck and reaching down to her toes, stopping in all the spots in between. When he was kissing her navel, he stopped, a sparkle in his eye.

"Is there a way to get fresh bananas in the South Pole?"

She gasped, and then giggled.

"Don't think so. Anyway, I'm not sure I want to clean the mess. Last time we had the swamp water, but these are furs! Bananas and fur don't mix."

"When we're in the Fire Nation I'll show you how well bananas and silk mix."

"Yeah right. I'm still recovering from your banana-flambé."

He seemed hurt.

"You said it was the best dessert of your life. You asked for seconds!"

"Dessert, right. Is that how you call it now?" He smirked and kissed her mouth soundly and fully. When she was able to breathe again, she said:

"You need to tell me that you love me."

"I was miserable too, by the way, every minute since we came back from the swamp. And you kept writing and making it harder." He stopped. "And why do I need to tell you that I love you?"

"You're always miserable, it's not like you were trying something new. And anyway, you need to tell me because you took your sweet time before saying it the first time. Now you need to overcompensate."

"I love you." He started to trace her body again with kisses. "And every inch of you." He kept going south. She smiled. He raised his head to look at her, enraptured. "You're always complaining about my lack of Public Displays of Affection but you should know by now that I'm always touching your body with my mind."

* * *


	21. First Task, Wit

**XXI. First Task, Wit. **

Toph was dreaming again. She was back in the Fire Nation, and she could feel the silk of the majestic robe she was wearing. She was in a huge room, bending furniture out of the marble floors, and rearranging the elegant layout in a capricious melee of towers, benches and ugly sculptures in the shape of koi fishes. Suddenly, a knock on her door.

"_Fireguy!" _She called to a nondescript fire soldier, that felt like a cross between Chin, Lee and El Tuerto. "_Let's gamble some fire shots!_"

"_I'm sorry Fire Lady Toph, but the Royal Fire Mistress Katara gave specific orders that you're not allowed to gamble or drink until you clean your room and do your Fire Lady chores."_

"_What nonsense are you talking about, man? I'm the Fire Lady!"_

"_Yes, but the Royal Fire Mistress was specific. You haven't cut any ribbons or kiss any babies since like forever. She said that her and the Fire Lord will be stopping later to see if you did what you were told to do."_

Toph woke up with a start.

"No way I'm marrying those two. It's going to be worse that moving back with my parents." She mumbled in a low voice.

She then tried to move her hand and found out that she couldn't because she was utterly entangled with the monk. Like a kanji. She remembered the day Sparky taught her how to draw the kanji of her name. At that time she had thought all the lines so enmeshed that she wondered how people could make any sense of them. But now, she did make sense of the lines. Of her and the monk and the explorations from the night before. There has been a lot of investigation within the limits, but the problem with not crossing a line was that the desire to run it over was overwhelming. Another night like the one before and they wouldn't be stopping. She made a quick recounting of the things she knew about Twinkle Toes. One of them was that, if they were to seal the dainty deal, the odds of her needing Suki's tea were really high. He had mentioned it almost in passing, that day he told her about his festivals. And the last thing she needed, if she managed to survive La, was explaining to either the Earth Kingdom or the Fire Nation why the heir of the throne could fly.

She frowned her brow in distaste. That was the thing. She did not want to be Fire Lady or Earth Queen. Being Twinkle Toe's dirty little secret felt ten times better, ten times _righter_ than being royalty. And somewhere between elation and realization, it hit her. She was falling in love with the monk.

"Fate." She mumbled angrily raising her blind face to the ceiling. "I'll get you for this!"

"You'll get Fate for what?" He asked, half sleep, against her neck.

"Nothing. Hey, we're going to miss breakfast. The first task is today. We better show up." He did not move, and she didn't either. His hand was nestled on her breast and it felt right. She caressed his hip. Her mind was on Suki. "Twinkle Toes, do you know what I really want?"

"What?"

"Tea."

"Right now?"

"Yes. Suki has a Special Blend that I really like. You should drink it too." She had no idea if the tea would have any effect on the monk and his super-duper fertility rates, but she reasoned that it couldn't hurt. He held her tighter.

"Right now?" He repeated, trying to get her to relax again. He started caressing her feet with his. She considered that.

"Five minutes." She conceded.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

When she finally managed to wake him up, it happened that she was not in her room, and did not have a change of clothes. Lately, she had been getting used to Suki or Katara pampering her. Truth be told, even tough she was a fearsome soldier, the last year at Ba Sing Se had soften her more than she care to accept. Kuei had put some women ('_her staff'_) at her disposal to help her with stuff like her toiletries. To be accurate, it had been fun for her to scare those women out of their wits and ignore their attempts at making her look like a lady. But they had been helpful for small things like helping her tame her hair, or letting her know when she was hopelessly mismatched. Now, she was having the surreal experience of waking up in someone else's room, without a toothbrush or any notion where to find anything. He seemed amused.

"You can use my toothbrush, and I can comb your hair." He said, when she complained.

"Don't even think about using Appa's brushes in me. I'm not a pet." He laughed.

"I won't. I have some brand new hair brushes that I can use." When he was carefully brushing her hair back from her face, he added. "I don't need brushes. I don't have hair."

She did not ask for whom the new brushes were. She knew.

"I can pin your hair with a brooch." He added, looking at his work, and reaching for something. A comb, for the feel of it. "There. You look … beautiful. You always do."

She blushed and wished that she could see herself. But she couldn't, so that ended the discussion.

"You're really in touch with your artistic side." She said, euphemistically. She felt his smile, because he had grabbed one of her hands and put it against his face.

"You're the masterpiece. I'm just the guy holding the frame." Toph did not do what someone else would have done in her place. She did not mope about the fact that those unused brushes and combs were intended for someone else. Losers' weepers and Finder's keepers for all she knew.

"I need to dress." She said matter of factly, starting with her bindings when he stopped her.

"Let me do it." He said and proceeded to wrap her chest bindings with the same care he had put in undoing them. Her heart was racing, and she couldn't help it but caress his head and ears while he dressed her with care. When he was done, she realized that he had done a very good job.

"Where did you learn?" She asked, before stopping herself, and then realizing that she did not want to hear the answer.

"By watching you last night. I noticed how it was done." She _liked _the answer. He then proceeded to finish dressing her, down to lacing her boots. When he was done with her, she heard him putting clothes on himself. Before he covered himself with robes and parkas, he grabbed her hand and put it on top of his chest. "This is what I feel like without clothes." He informed her, like she didn't know. After the making out of the previous night, this was totally 'been there, done that'.

"I know how you feel like. Hey, I even know what you look like."

"Not like this." He insisted placing her two hands on top of his heartbeat. "Like this."

Her chest expanded with the desire of kissing him senseless. Which she did. Or attempted to. He seemed delighted with her hanging from his neck, kissing him.

"Let's go." He told her when she seemed to wind down, patting her rear-end. That was it. Toph didn't remember this kind of happy feeling in a lifetime. Well, maybe that day she re-built an entire cave with badgers moles. Or better still, that day when she buried five Dai Li's alive in a metal cell, who still couldn't be found after three days. When she brought them to the surface they were crying and everything. Those were the days. Not that today was not the day. A rear-end slap? Wicked!

She had been so busy either hiding or misbehaving since she got to the South Pole that she hadn't eaten breakfast on a single occasion. She didn't know what to expect. He escorted her to what it felt like the entrance to a big room, where she could hear people, voices and smell food. Food. That was like a foreign concept for her lately.

"I hate the food here." He confided in a very low voice.

"Totally." She accepted. "These Water Tribes, they drag moving things from the bottom of the ocean and then boil them. With _nothing_ else."

"Yes. The main ingredient in the Earth Kingdom is sesame oil. Here is boiling water."

They both shuddered in unison, and she felt his pinky lacing hers briefly before letting her go. He then hesitated, like doubtful about advancing and crossing the entrance. She felt, and at the same time understood, his vacillation.

"You're concerned about Katara, aren't you?" She couldn't hear his answer.

"I'm nodding." He clarified after a brief second. "It's … it's not right." She didn't know what to respond.

"Are you going to do something about it?" She asked after a moment, knowing perfectly well that she wouldn't like the answer, but no one could ever accused her of being a coward. A masochist maybe, but not a coward.

"I have to." And, sounding like a little kid, he added. "I'm torn." And she felt sad again for herself, for him, and for any fissures his confusion may cause if not careful. She tugged at his sleeve, indicating that she wanted him to follow her and walked away from the entrance.

"You don't need to make a decision about anything right now." She told him, but something was gnawing inside. Irritation that he just wouldn't drop everything for her. But well, she was dealing with the only energy bender in a millennia, and you have to be pretty unbendable to bend a fellow like Sparky's dad. So, she was willing to give him some room. "You can step back for a little while and try to make sense of things in your head," '_and your heart' _the hag added unhelpfully, "and take it from there."

"I don't want to hurt anyone." He mumbled. She nodded. At least, he hadn't say '_I don't want to hurt you._' That was something.

"Just try not to hurt yourself. Guilt usually translates into anger against oneself. I should know, I'm pretty good at both, being angry _and_ not feeling guilty." Somehow, her incongruous confession stirred something inside him, because she felt his fingers in her cheek, heard a small chuckle, and felt that the weight of seconds before lifted from his body. His back suddenly erect, highlighting the fact that he was now almost a head taller than her. He tugged at her sleeve, and they walked back into the room. No one commented or seemed surprised by the fact that (1) she showed up for breakfast _and_ (2) with Kuei's champion nonetheless. The South Pole was getting _jaded_ for all she knew.

Her other suitors were there, and then Zuko and Katara, whom the hag had gotten to call her 'teamed-fiancés' in her head. They came over. Katara started to talk to Aang about the _weather. _Aang seemed uncomfortable, shifting all over the place. Right. That was a modern engaged couple for you. Toph, on the other hand, took Sparky aside, whispering.

"I'm not marrying you two." She warned him. "I had a mystical vision of my future with you two. Not good. Not fun."

Zuko seemed amused.

"You're wearing the same clothes than yesterday." He commented casually.

"What? Are you the local _arbiter elegantiarum_ now?"

"No. Not manly." He grabbed a lock of her hair. "Good job with your hair. Who took care of your hair today?"

"What's with the sissiness?" She shot back, before he started commenting about how good her chest wraps looked.

"Nothing, just saying." She knew Sparky. He was a straight fellow with the natural instincts of a cat. What happened to him was a mother bringing out the good and a father fighting with teeth and nails for wickedness. In conclusion, a cat. That was Sparky.

"Don't go there. Whatever is nestling in your brain, the answer is no. And just to remind you, I know all your secrets. I have leverage and won't hesitate to use it." Her final threat was just that, final. He chuckled.

"I knew it! It was more than one kiss. Katara is like '_no, he's not interested_' but I know _you_."

"Leave me alone. Oh, look, over there, a closet! It's calling your name." She tried to walk away.

"That's a pretty comb." He said knowingly, and she stopped. She didn't ask, she knew what was coming. She had served with him and, technically, was still part of his army. "I chose it myself." He said lowering his voice. "It was supposed to be a gift for someone else's hair. It looks good on yours." She wanted to kick his regal butt royally.

"You should be on your knees thanking me that it's not in someone else's hair." He suddenly grabbed her hand and kissed it.

"I am."

"Zuko?"

Katara's voice had a question mark.

"Oh, look!" Toph said "Sparky is Publicly Showing _me _Affection! Isn't he nice?" She walked away before whispering to him. "You asked for it."

She tried to place herself in the hall or whatever it was she found herself at the moment. She was trying to place Suki. Aang had been dragged away by someone, for all she knew. She then thought that if she wanted to find Suki, she needed to find Sokka, and that meant, finding the food. She followed the stench, ooops, sorry, the smell of the food. When she reached the table, she followed the sounds of the food. No one could chew louder than Sokka.

"Hi!" Toph said when she got next to him. Sokka turned to her.

"Good morning, fellow team member and Obscure Object of Desire of Kings and Laymen alike. Try this, it's good." Toph smelled the food. A rice cake. She could do rice cakes.

"Where's Suki?" She asked, chewing. He shrugged.

"In her morning tea ceremony or something with her warriors. Seems like the girls have been getting to bed very late at night, or something, because it has been harder to get them up in time. Some of them are still missing."

"Is Captain Yin looking for his men too?"

"Yep, he was exchanging notes with Suki this morning. Some problems with the morale of the troops. They need to lift the morale or something."

"I don't think lifting the morale is what they need to do. Maybe elevating the morals will help. So, where do I need to go to find Suki?"

"I can take you there." She felt him looking at the food. "Hey, do you think we can get some of the merchants to provide kukus? Aang says that everybody likes that fruit, that it's delicious or something. Some fruit is always good for breakfast."

"Those are an acquired taste. I would start with Haruberries if I were you."

"Haruberries, where do I get those?"

"In the Earth Kingdom. They export them to the South Pole now. Oh, look here, plums. Eat these. I think my work here is done."

She started walking away, with a couple of rice cakes in each hand, when Aang caught up to them.

"The heads of State will be reconvening on the hall to give the guidelines of the Contest and the First Task. Have you eaten Sifu T.? Did you have some tea?"

"On my way. Here, I got this one for you. It's edible and meatless."

They reached a haggard Suki. Fighting (or upholding, Toph wasn't sure which) the Kyoshi Code was hard work.

"Hi guys!" The warrior said when she saw them. "I'm in the middle of our morning tea ceremony. Do you need anything?" Toph wondered if Sokka knew the purpose of the ceremony, but soon realized that he didn't. He was smelling the tea.

"This smells awful, Suki." He said. "You can ask Fire Lord Iroh for some tea brewing tips."

"I don't need Fire Lord Ir … Toph, what are you doing?"

"Drinking tea." Toph tried to hid a grimace. "Wow. This is delicious. Here, T.T., try some."

"Nooo!!" Suki was a second too late. Toph had shoved the tea down the monk's throat. He swallowed some, sputtered most.

"This tea is disgusting." He said. Toph seemed astounded.

"I think is the best tea ever." She announced while bravely knocking down another cup, like if it were a fire shot. "'Here, T.T., more for you." She shoved more tea down the monk, almost drowning him. He fought her.

"Toph, stop! I don't like it!" For a moment there she considered to spill the tea in the fertile area of his body, just in case, but caught herself on time. Scalding the guy might not work, after all.

Suki was hiding her teapot from them.

"Guys, this is a serious ceremony! You're interrupting my traditions!"

"'We're leaving." Toph announced, when she heard someone coming closer. Chin.

"Avatar." She heard the soldier bow. "Great Master. Master Sokka. Avatar, I have those scrolls you asked me for the other day."

Aang was fast.

"Thank you Chin." He put the scrolls away. "Any news about what I asked you yesterday?" She heard the fire soldier getting closer and walking away with Aang.

"_I reviewed the Covenant, Avatar._" Chin was saying. "_You are bound to help the King, yes, but it only requires you to exercise reasonable efforts while helping._"

"_As opposed to?_"

"_Best efforts or commercially reasonable efforts._" Toph was confused. Was ever an end to the amount of legal nonsense those attorneys could come up with? "_Reasonable efforts means that you would do only what an ordinary person would consider reasonable. If it would have been 'best efforts' it would have meant for you having to go out of your way for the King._"

Toph came closer.

"What he means Twinkle Toes is that you don't have to win the task if you are being reasonable. You're only forced to win if you have to be the best." She shrugged. "You can lose and still honor the covenant."

He seemed to perk up for a second there, and then deflate.

"But, if I lose, someone else will win. Like Zuko."

"That's the idea." She reminded him. "You winning equals Kuei wins. Get it? Don't get confused here, OK? And anyway, it's ten times better to be Fire Lady than to be Earth Queen." That seemed to have been the wrong thing to say, somehow, because she could feel him getting upset.

"I thought that no one was winning you through this Contest." He retorted bitterly. Toph breathed deeply and tilted her head to Chin.

"Chin, do you mind giving me a minute here with the Avatar?" Chin bowed and walked away. She got closer to him and whispered. "I'll say this once and only once. Being your dirty little secret is thirty times better than being Fire Lady, OK? Now, snap out of it, and move. And don't forget, 'Reasonable' means that you don't have to throw yourself in the river to save a smelly cat. You just need to throw the cat a branch and pray hard. Get that?"

"But then, the cat may die! How am I going to save the cat if I don't jump in the river?"

"Because that will be a best effort! This is a hypothetical. The life of the cat is irrelevant in this example."

"The life of a cat is never irrelevant. I don't approve of random acts of cruelty against animals or people."

She crossed her arms.

"Twinkle Toes, I don't think you have the right attitude to lose this Contest." She heard him crossing his arms too.

"And what do you mean by thirty times better? Why not fifty?"

"If you lose this one for me, a thousand times better multiplied by infinity." That seemed to do the trick, as she felt him immediately perking up. She turned to leave and felt a light slap on her rear-end. He didn't even wait for her to react, he just walked to where Sokka and Chin were. She shook her head, wondering how to get more of Suki's tea for herself and the monk.

0o0o0o0o0o

The Hall, refurbished after the Wrath of La, as Sokka had decided to call the Fish incident that almost destroyed his masterpiece, was again the place where announcements where being made. Bato the Herald started, expecting to be interrupted, because he would do long pauses in between reading the text. Toph was sitting apart of everybody, in the middle of the hall, as the Object of the stupid Contest. Everything about the Contest irked her, but especially the fact that she was referred to as the _object _of the Contest. Even changing it to _subject _of the Contest was not good.

She had ran into Kuei just before entering the hall. She heard his little cough and smelled Bosco, and felt bristling from the inside. She couldn't tell him everything she thought about him right there, because that would have given away the fact that she knew about his plans and that his hawk had been intercepted. And as far as she understood from Chin and Yin, now they were counter-intelligencing every message. She knew how enthusiastic the fireguys could get, so she wondered with what else were they tampering in the Earth Kingdom. This was the core of counter-intelligence, eat the bile today and win the war tomorrow. So, she was coldly civil when she said good morning to Kuei, to his surprise and delight and the unending suspicion of his attorney.

"Chief Hakoda of the Now Unified Southern Water Tribes opens the Seventh Session of the General Assembly of the First Official Peace Summit since the End of the One Hundred Year Old War Started by the Fire Nation. The First Order of Things is the Announcement of the Guidelines of the Contest of the Frosts and the Announcement of the First Task. Being the suitors for the hand of Great Master Extraordinaire Toph Bei Fong, First Daughter of the Bei Fong Vassals from the Earth Kingdom Vassal State of Gaoling, henceforth referred to as GM, the following: Kuei, the 52nd Earth King, henceforth referred to as the Earth King, Challenger, hereby represented by his Champion Avatar Aang, the Last Airbender." Someone snorted in the hall. It took her a second to realize that she was the one snorting. "Zuko, Crown Prince of the Fire Nation and his team, Team Avatar minus the Avatar but including the Object of the Contest, GM." Even Bato composure had limits, he had to stop. She felt him turning, probably trying to make eye contact with Chief Hakoda. "Hakoda." She heard him say. "I cannot do this. This is ridiculous."

"Bato." It was King Bumi. "This is very serious. We are not trying to mock Water Tribe traditions, but there are no clear rules here." She heard the dignified warrior sigh and continue.

"Jeong-Jeong, Great Firebending Master and High Master of the Order of the White Lotus. June, Bounty-Hunter with not known address or qualifications, with her shirshiu Nyla. Colonel Mongke, FireNation Army Veteran and his horde, the musical group the Rough Rhinos. Foam Guy, with no name and/or clear profession ..." Bato kept reading the list. She was bored before he reached the end. When Bato stopped talking, Chief Hakoda stepped forward.

"I would like to beseech all suitors to this Contest to consider three things before I go forward with the Guidelines and the First Task. Number one, the Earth King is being Championed by Avatar Aang, the most powerful bender in the world, who single handedly defeated Phoenix King Ozai and put an end to one hundred years of war. Number Two, there are no clear rules in the Contest, except that at the end, only one suitor must be left standing. In the past, that meant a fight to the death. Frankly, we don't know what it means anymore, but we are willing to accept that '_there can be only one_', as our tradition requires, means casualties. Number Three, and finally, Great Master Bei Fong wants me to inform all of you that she really doesn't have any money. Her inheritance is controlled in trust by her stingy father and she won't see a copper piece until she's twenty five. She is a couple seasons shy of seventeen, which means long, long, long seasons in the future with her, without money. So, if any of you have seconds thoughts about this, please come forward and scratch your name from the list."

It was not the stampede she was expecting, but the last bit of information did get a lively response. Between the possibility of facing Aang, and the fact that there was no immediate money after all, all suitors with no emotional investment in the enterprise scratched their names from the list. The really surprising fact was the impression that most people out there had about Aang. Somehow everyone assumed that he had spared Ozai's life out of friendship with Zuko, and rumor had it that he was really fearsome and forbidding. The reality that Ozai's life was never in danger, that Aang was incapable of scolding even his own pets, and that he believed firmly in non-violence, hadn't somehow reached the masses. Toph suspected that if not reined in closely, any day now Aang was capable of announcing his own religious movement, and start preaching about the evilness of hurting flies while dressed as a half naked guru. She wondered if that was what was fueling their chemistry. She could come up with a thousand different reasons to declare a war, and he could come up with a thousand counter-reasons why not.

At the end, the suitors were reduced to Kuei, Zuko, Jeong-Jeong, June, and Mongke. Sokka personally convinced foam guy to scratch his name from the list, with the promise of autographs from both Aang and Zuko. The three that stayed did so, as they informed Hakoda and she overheard, because they had no problem hanging out with her until she inherited her vast fortune. She shuddered at the thought.

Chief Hakoda then reassumed the Guidelines.

"The Contest of the Frosts is usually comprised of Three Tasks that measure Wit, Bravery and Strength. Whomever is first in completing a Task successfully, wins that round. Because in this case we have more than two suitors, points will be granted depending on the level of success. After each Task, the suitor with less points will be eliminated. If a suitor does not finish a task, he or she will be out of the Contest. Only the two with the highest points participate in the final task. The Elders of the Water Tribes, together with the help of the White Lotus Order (except of course Master Jeong-Jeong due to a conflict of interests) have designed the tasks. The First Task is Wit. The Contestants are to face a Riddle. To answer the riddle, they will need to show dexterity. Remember, in this Contest is each Contestant for him or herself. Following Water Tribe tradition, the Elders are the judges. Please follow me, the location of the First Task is not far away from here."

Chief Hakoda stepped down. Toph stood up, wondering what was she supposed to do next, when someone approached her. Sokka.

"Come on, obscure object of desire and absurd contests, we need to face the first task." They started walking together. Zuko, Katara and Suki joined them.

"Stop it with the 'obscure object of desire', what about 'exquisite subject of wants'?" She was saying, before noticing that they were leaving the Hall. "Where are we going?"

"I heard dad talking with uncle Iroh about it. I think the task is going to be held in the Caves of Sorrow."

'That's an auspicious name." Zuko said with a sigh. "Please, inform us, Why are those caves called that?"

Toph heard light feet rushing and catching up to them. Aang.

"Hey, you're supposed to be part of the other team!" Sokka reminded him. "What's with the enemy fraternization?"

"I'm the competition only when the Task starts. Right now I'm still part of this team."

"I guess you're right." Sokka said. "After all, you're my sister's fiancé. You should at least be allowed to hang out with her." The silence among the friends was boisterous, Sokka was the only one oblivious to it. The freezing air outside hit them on the faces. She could hear people around.

"Hey, Toph, here, let's use the sleigh I got for you. You can feel vibrations on the metal. It will let you rest from the ice."

While Sokka harnessed a couple of South Pole dog seals to the sleigh, ignoring her proposal to find the Boulder and the Hippo to use them as beasts of burden (those two were hanging out at the local South Pole bars for all she knew, as she hadn't seen them, or heard from them, in days), Suki approached Toph cautiously.

"Toph," she said in a low voice, taking her aside "the ceremony tea, er ..., is not what you think."

"Is not tea?" She asked innocently.

"Well, yeah, is tea. But there's a purpose to the tea." Toph knew the value of deniability. Technically, if you didn't know something you couldn't be accused of anything.

"Tea is tea. By the way, Suki, are you dressed for the task?" She asked in return, changing the topic drastically.

"Sorry?"

"I mean, last time we went to take on the world you show up to the battle to end all battles grossly underdressed. Not that the bikini with no weapons detracted you from saving the day, my butt and Sokka's, but frankly woman, you overdress with your Kyoshi apparel all the time, for any occasion, except of course the day of the Comet. That day you were fully dressed in good intentions I hope."

Suki was deeply offended.

"Hey, I know hand to hand combat!" She retorted.

"Yep, precisely what was needed to take on a fleet of gliders. Don't get upset, it's just that _that_ tiny detail have been bothering me for the last three years, it needed to be addressed."

"Bikini? Who said it was a bikini?"

"Katara did. She is the one who described your outfit to me. Hey, she said that she also had the red bikini but sacrificed it for a more appropriate Water Tribe warrior dress. Like me, Sokka, you know. Everyone. But you."

Suki was fuming and went to yell at Katara, all thoughts of the tea completely forgotten. Toph put her hands behind her head, happy.

Finally, the sleds were ready. Toph accommodated herself on one of the sleighs.

"Where are the caves?" Aang asked, as she heard him adjusting his glider. "You know guys, we can use Appa for this. You don't need to hassle with sleds."

Sokka sounded hurt when he mumbled something on the lines of "_After all the effort I put on transportation!_."

"It's OK, Aang." Katara said, sounding a little bristled after the interaction with Suki. "The more you hang out with us publicly, the more you give reasons to Kuei to doubt your intentions regarding winning this thing. I don't think that you can lose on purpose."

"I know." He said ill-humored. "That's not _reasonable_." Sokka was talking.

"The Caves are a ride away, bordering the shore line. The entrance of the Caves is half sunk in water. They are this natural maze of stalagmites and stalactites, that goes way underground. Our ancestors used to consider them sacred." Sokka helped Suki on the sleigh, and Toph felt him covering them with thick and heavy furs. "Katara, you ride on that other sled. Guys, Zuko and I will be standing behind you, driving. This is called running for your information. Your only job is to cover your faces against the wind, not to lose your balance and make no comments regarding directions. Are we OK?"

"Yep"

"Yeah"

Sokka did the equivalent of a yip-yip to the seal dogs, which sounded like a 'tut-tut', and the animals started racing. The wind was freezing and uncomfortable on their faces. Toph assumed that Aang was gliding above them, but she couldn't really figure that out because the whoosh of the wind was deafening. When they reached the caves, she was wishing for Appa with all her heart.

"Can we let go of the pride and the concept of competing teams and just call the bison for the trip back?" She pleaded when finally off the sled.

They walked on the ice to what was described to her as the entrance to the caves. Some of the elders, the suitors and assorted people who was supposed to be there, including the challenger Kuei who, as Katara described it, was traveling very snuggled and warm in a huge sleigh with Bosco, had not arrived yet. So they decided to wait.

"Sokka, while we wait, regale me again with the reason of the name of these caves?" Zuko insisted.

"The Caves of Sorrow were often the place where Water Tribe fishermen or hunters would take refuge if a blizzard happened to surprise them. There is this feeling about them, almost spiritual, but our ancestors noticed that after spending a couple of days hiding from storms in these caves people would tend to go a bit funny in the head."

"More religion and Gods?" Toph asked distrustful.

"No, not really. Just this notion of questioning things in your life, of trying to make peace with past and present decisions. It's like a pervading feeling of '_what if_' in those caves. They are called Sorrow because those not at peace with their decisions will come out of those caves feeling sorrowful."

"It's like the ideal place for me to hang out, then." Zuko said with a grunt.

"Actually, you may be OK in there. You already questioned all your life actions, and keep doing so. The caves affect those who do not."

"Are they still considered sacred?"

"Well, not actively. I mean, we tend to avoid hanging in there. It's not a comfortable place if you think you don't have issues with your life, and then have to face them all."

"Like Guru Pathik." Aang said, thoughtfully.

"Again, not really. There is no actively seeking enlightenment on those caves, is just …"

"Is just useless regret about things that you cannot change and second guessing your decisions when there's nothing you can do about them." Toph finished for him. "In total, the caves make you feel guilty, which is the most useless feeling in this universe."

"I see you're going to do just fine inside the caves." Sokka concluded.

They heard the rest of the people arriving. Soon Chief Hakoda had lined the suitors and their teams, if any, and gave the instructions.

"Each suitor will enter the caves and take a path. There are several caves and several paths. Each suitor will be assigned one color. Follow the path with your color. From there you need to continue until you find the riddle and answer it. You can only leave the cave if you answer the riddle. We will be measuring the time each suitor takes in answering the riddle with candle marks. One more thing, each path leads to a different riddle. So, each suitor will face a different question."

Zuko was assigned the color, oh irony, red. The friends said goodbye to Aang who was assigned the color, imagination please stay still, orange. Toph didn't care about the colors of the other suitors and she just cared about theirs because Sokka was commenting on the lack of subtlety of the Elders. The suitors entered the caves one by one. Zuko spot was third, after Aang and the Rough Rhinos. They would have had to jump in the freezing water if it wasn't for Katara who bended the water away, giving them dry access to the entrance of the cave. Toph then bended them over the rock formations and they found themselves inside a cave. The entrance was freezing cold, like the entire Pole.

"I surely hope I'm worth all this aggravation." Toph muttered. "While Kuei is toasty out there, drinking hot mulled wine and kissing Bosco."

They took the red path. The caves, interestingly, became warmer than she had expected as they advanced. She couldn't see that well because she was still wearing her winter boots, but she could see more than on ice. She could see the interesting shapes of the columns rising from the bottom, stalagmites carved by time, water and minerals instead of earthbenders. She could also feel the stalactites coming down from above, in capricious forms, almost touching but at the last minute, retreating from the floor. Toph stopped and removed her boots.

"This place is beautiful." She said.

"It is." Suki accepted. "I wish you could see it under Zuko's fire."

"You're mistaken, I can see it better than you. It's astounding."

They kept walking for what it felt like forever, going down, deeper into the earth. They finally reached an open space, a lake, where the path ended. Toph could see with her feet that the water was still and shallow. She imagined it looking like the breathing mirror from the Spirit World.

"It's like crystal." Katara said and then they heard a rumble behind them.

"Toph!" Zuko called "Check that!" A huge rock formation had closed the path from where they had come from. She approached the gigantic boulder and touched it. She smiled.

"Bumi just closed the exit. It's OK, I can blast this thing if necessary."

"I think the idea is to answer the riddle to get out, not to force our way out. We may get disqualified that way." Katara said.

Suki was sitting on the ground, facing the lake. Toph could see her hugging her knees, and even though she couldn't see her face, she could feel the warrior mesmerized by the water.

"You know?" Suki said, wistfully. "I always wanted to be a ballerina. But my mom, who is a fearsome Kyoshi warrior, thought it was too girly. Did I ever tell you that my favorite color is pink? I used to own this beautiful tutu, all pink, but my mom took it away the day she gave me the fans and told me that I was about to start Kyoshi training. It was raining that day. She took away my tutu, my scrolls with stories of princesses, and ordered my room to be painted green instead of pink. I remember my tutu under the rain."

It was starting. Sorrow was starting. Toph tried to figure out if Sorrow would reach her and how. So far, she felt nothing.

Sokka had approached Suki and passed an arm around her shoulders.

"I always wanted to be a chef." He confided, kissing his girlfriend hair. "I used to sneak in Gran-Gran's kitchen and play at putting things in the pot, like spices and bits of lichen for flavor, but Gran-Gran would kick me out saying that the kitchen was not a place for boys." Sokka was looking at the lake too, his head was leaning that way. "I could have been great." His voice full of longing. "I could have been a contender in the kitchen."

Zuko, who was keeping his composure, called on them.

"Hey guys! You need to fight this. Now. Look, there is something on the other side of the lake."

Toph could see with her feet what the lake ended in what it seemed like a deep crevice, but she couldn't hear a waterfall. Something was containing the water. Katara, who was standing, engrossed on the lake, did not move. Zuko put a hand on her back.

"Katara, across the lake. I need you to focus and bend an ice bridge." Toph saw her moving her face towards him.

"I thought that I wanted to be needed." She told him. "But I want to need." Her hand was touching his face. He grabbed the hand.

"Katara, focus on the water. Water cures all your sorrows. Focus. I _need _you, now." He kissed her hand, completely disregarding the fact that Sokka was present. Sokka, actually, was too entangled in his kitchen dreams to care. The last phrase shook Katara out of her trance. She assented, and turning towards the lake moved her body in the sinuous movements of her craft. She jumped on the ice with Zuko and approached the end of the lake.

"It's like a bottomless pit" Zuko called to Toph. "And there's a natural dam. You know what's on the wall on the other side of the chasm? A Spinning wheel! A wooden spinning wheel going fast. Wait, there's something written at the center of the wheel, is a riddle." Zuko read aloud:

"_I never was, am always to be,_

_No one ever saw me, nor ever will_

_And yet I am the confidence of all_

_To live and breathe on this terrestrial ball._"

"The spinning wheel has kanjis around. There are holes in the kanjis." Zuko kept explaining. "Once we solve the riddle, we probably need to press the kanjis of the right answer or something, because I don't see any other way to announce that we have the answer."

Toph yelled from the shore of the lake.

"What kind of holes are we talking about? Buttons?"

"No, not buttons. Holes."

Toph looked with her feet, and found them. There were little pebbles piled up on one side of the cave, but they were not rocks. Toph touched one of them and realized that they were made of wood.

"Darn, Zuko, I think I know what we are supposed to do." She yelled. Katara waved herself and Zuko back to the shore of the underground lake. "We are supposed to solve the riddle and then get these wood bits in the right holes. Katara can bend us to the wheel in the water. Maybe I can create a bridge closer to the wheel to put these in. The entire thing it's actually really easy if you are a bender, can solve riddles, snap from the sorrowful funk, and if you are not blind and can read."

"Ok, so how good are you at riddles?" He asked. Toph shrugged.

"I'm terrible. I hate to think too long about one single thing, and I only do straight talk. I hate riddles. They beat around the bush. Can't do them." And with that, Toph threw herself in the soil and put her hands behind her back.

Zuko turned to Sokka and Suki, who were still looking at the lake, yearning.

"I used to have this doll," Suki was confiding, "that I would hide from my mom. And I would dress it in pink and play that she lived in a palace and married a handsome prince and had tons of babies. Mom didn't like it a bit. She kept saying that Kyoshis don't need men to complete them, that we don't do princes or tons of babies. That we are independent career warriors. Did I ever tell you that my mom left my dad for the island's midwife?"

"I know, Gran-Gran would tell me that the Water Tribes don't do fancy in the kitchen, that culinary arts are not manly."

Zuko turned to Katara. She was again, distracted, looking at the lake.

"What if I don't want children?" She was saying aloud. "Does that makes me a bad person? I don't want to take care of people always, is too draining."

Zuko turned to Toph.

"Why do you think we're not being affected, Champ?" He asked. Toph shrugged.

"Maybe the _what if _ is not about guilt but about what you wanted to be or do with your life and never had the guts to do."

"I never wanted to be anything else than the Fire Prince and eventually, become Fire Lord with my honor intact."

"I never wanted to be anything else than me. I'm happy being blind, and after my trip to the Spirit World, I'm happier than ever. I don't want to be anything else that the best earth-metal bender ever. I know who I am."

Zuko sat on the soil tugging at Katara's hand until she sat next to him. She was still pondering aloud about the fact that family and kids may not be the only destiny a Water Tribe girl was supposed to have.

"That's our answer, then." Zuko said. "The _what if _ is about the inner dreams that we deny ourselves. Well, now we need to solve the riddle. You need to help me."

"Seriously, I'm lousy at riddles. Can't we just look at the kanjis in the wheel for the answer and match it to the riddle?"

"The kanjis are not words. These are old ideograms, each can have ten different meanings, I only know what they mean when I see them in context, like in a phrase."

"Good thing about being blind, I don't have to deal with the written word."

"Stop it and think!"

"OK!"

She tried to think, but couldn't focus on the riddle. She hated riddles. All mystery and no substance, for all she knew. Riddles required reflection, and she was not big on reflection. Mainly because most of the time she had a hag in her head self-reflecting her actions as they happened. And on top of the usual ones, she seemed to have acquired two more squatters with her recent trip to the Spirit World, so there is no space for contemplation when you are in permanent conversational therapy inside your own head. And anyway, better than riddles, she preferred to focus on the formations of rock around her and the memories of the night before with Twinkle Toes.

Zuko was trying to figure the phrases out.

"'_I never was, am always to be, No one ever saw me, nor ever will_' It's something that is not tangible, Champ, something abstract."

She was not listening. She was laying on the ground, her eyes closed, immersed in the memories of the previous night, lost.

"_What are you doing?"_ _He had said. _

"_I'm tracing your tattoos with my fingers. Your chi paths."_

_He let her do it. She traced as she remembered, his arms, his legs and his back, all the way to the round shape of his head until her fingers stopped at his forehead. She leaned forward to kiss him. He returned the kiss while grabbing her hand firmly, guiding her fingers to trace another chi path._

"_What's this?" She had asked in surprise._

"_The tattoo you didn't get to see. This is my sixth arrow."_

"Toph!" Zuko's voice brought her out of her reverie. "Why are you so distracted? I need your help with this riddle. The others are useless. What were you thinking about?"

"Archery." She said.

"Then get your facts rights. Archers usually carry 24 arrows on their quivers, not six." _Did she said that aloud? _"Again, listen: _And yet I am the confidence of all, To live and breathe on this terrestrial ball._ What do you think it means?"

"I don't know. You spoiled a very good daydream, I'm not helping."

He said a single word.

"Kuei."

And she was on her toes, paying attention.

"OK, Sparky, repeat the riddle." Zuko repeated the first two phrases. She said the first thing that came to her mind.

"It never comes."

"What?"

"It's something that never happens. _I never was, am always to be, No one ever saw me, nor ever will._" Zuko thought about it.

"_I am the confidence of all, To live and breathe on this terrestrial ball._" He repeated and then slapped his forehead. "Tomorrow! We all have the hope of being alive tomorrow, but tomorrow never comes. It always turns into today."

"See? That's waaaay to deep for me. I don't like riddles."

Zuko stood up.

"OK, we need to put these stones in the holes. Let me see, where is the kanji for tomorrow? Katara, I need you to bend me to the end of the lake again."

But by now Katara was laying on the ground, next to Sokka and Suki, all of them daydreaming of a world that was pink, full of cooking recipes and with no family ties wearing you down. Zuko tried to get her to react, but the Sorrow was everywhere, paralyzing them.

"I wonder how the hunters and fishermen made it out alive, taking into account how these three are." Toph wondered, nudging them with her foot.

"Maybe is worse the deeper you get in the cave. They probably stayed closer to the exit. Anyway, you need to bend us a bridge from the bottom of the lake and to get us as closer to the wheel as possible. I'll guide you." They filled their pockets with the pieces of wood and Toph did the necessary bending. When they reached the crevice, Zuko said "There! That's tomorrow's kanji." Toph tried to bend a bridge from the rock as close to the wooden wheel as possible. The bridge was slippery because of the nature of the rock.

"Remind me not to put limestone floors in my house." She said seriously, while bending handrails. They couldn't reach the wheel exactly, which was moving too fast for them to hook the end of the bridge to it. "How did they come up with this? These water tribes don't have the guile for this."

"Teo. Teo and Haru." Zuko said knowingly. "Firebenders may burn the wood, earthbenders can't bend the wood."

"Airbenders can airbend the wood into the holes." She said suddenly. "If that flying ethical monk wins this I'm going to kill him."

Zuko tried throwing the wood pieces into the wheel with no luck.

"This is what they meant by dexterity." He grumbled.

She suddenly pick up a fistful of pieces.

"Throw a bunch. One may fit in the hole by mistake." He turned to her.

"You can't be serious. We can lose all the pieces that way, and then what are we going to do?"

"Trust me. I'm a gambler. I know about odds. Throw a bunch to the hole when it's approaching and one piece may make it."

Zuko did what she said. He succeeded the third time he threw a fistful of pieces to the wheel. The wheel stopped and then the boulder blocking the exit moved with a rumble.

"This was easy" Toph said while bending the limestone bridge back. "If all the tasks are going to be this easy, these Water Tribes are giving me away for free."

"I disagree." Zuko said. "We're just lucky not to be affected by the Sorrow and that you're an earthbender. If you were alone with these three, you'll be lost because you're blind and wouldn't have been able to figure out the riddles or kanjis." He stopped. "Imagine doing this by yourself. Like Jeong-Jeong."

"Or Aang. Knowing him, he probably did it in five minutes."

"I wonder if he's OK, actually. I think he sees his role in the world as a burden."

They reached the rest of the useless team Avatar. The laying friends didn't want to move. Sokka was singing an eerie tune that sounded like "_Que será, será, whatever will be, will be_". Toph wanted to kick them out of the caves, but Zuko forbade it. So Toph had to bend them away, in a makeshift gurney made of rock and regret. When they made it to the entrance, the charitable thing to do, she decided, was to dump them in the freezing water. Which she did. That solved the sorrow problem, as they immediately snapped out of all trances to curse her and her ancestors going back five generations. Katara suddenly alert again, bended them outside the freezing water and sent a retaliatory wave Toph's way, but she deflected it easily with a rock tent. They would have ended in a fight if Zuko doesn't intervene. Evetually, Katara bended the water away from their soaking selves and Zuko breathed hot steam over them to make them toasty, while Toph put on her boots.

When they finally resurfaced, Toph heard cheers and claps, and people, Kyoshis for the feel of them, running and covering them with warm blankets and putting cups full of hot tea on their hands. Sokka, Suki and Katara seemed to be fighting still the effects of the caves. Toph raised her clasped hands over her head, signaling their victory, when she heard Zuko:

"No way!"

"No way what?" She asked in alarm, knowing what the answer was about to be.

"Aang is sitting on a sled, reading!!"

She felt her face turning livid.

'I'm going to strangl…"

"Nephew!" The bombastic voice of Fire Lord Pops could be heard approaching. "You guys are the second team to finish the task. The Avatar finished first." He informed, needlessly.

"I can't believe you guys made it so easy!" Toph was fuming. "He's an airbender, he flies and stuff!" She didn't wait for Iroh's answer. "Where is he? I can't see in the snow. Sparky, point me to him."

"Keep walking straight, you will bump into him."

She did just that.

"Twinkle Toes!" She screamed at him, she could hear him jumping several feet in the air. "You finished first! That was a BEST EFFORT!!"

"Toph!" He exclaimed back, and she heard him hurriedly putting away the scroll he was reading. "What do you mean? I waited as long as I could, but I needed to get out of those caves. I was starting to feel really weird. And anyway, with the hint you guys should have solved that riddle in a minute!"

"What hint? What are you talking about?"

"The hint in the wall of the cave. The hint to the riddle."

She stopped on her tracks, and then turned and yelled.

"SPARKY!! YOU MISSED THE HINT, YOU MORON!"

The Crown Prince and Fire Lord-to-be did not take kindly to affronts to his dignity, especially in public.

"I DID NOT MISS ANY HINTS, YOU INGRATE!! THERE WERE NO HINTS!!" He yelled back.

She was confused.

"POPS! WERE THERE ANY HINTS?"

She heard people approaching. Not only Fire Lord Pops, but Chief Hakoda, Master Pakku, Sokka's master, even the smell of Bosco, which told her that Kuei was approaching too.

"What are you saying, Master Bei Fong?" Master Pakku sounded stern.

"The Avatar says that there was a hint in the wall for his riddle. There were no hints in our cave." She said assuredly. Zuko, now next to her, assented.

"It's true. We did not see a hint."

"Avatar, is that true?" Master Pakku asked Aang.

"Yes. There was a hint in one of the walls of my cave."

"What did the hint say?" Hakoda inquired, grimly.

"Well, my riddle was '_At night they come without being fetched, and by day they are lost without being stolen_'. I couldn't figure out what it was, with the weird feeling I was getting in that cave, when I saw that in one of the walls there was something written. It said '_They belong to the night_' and then I knew what the answer was. The Stars. I thought you guys left the hint for me."

"No, we did not." Said Hakoda, in a very bad mood. "And knowing Bumi, who designed this task with his heir and his companion Teo, I don't think he left you the hint either."

She heard Zuko crossing his arms.

"That's an advantage that we didn't have. This entire task should be annulled." He said firmly.

"Oh no!" She heard Kuei and then,

"The task cannot be annulled for something that was not the fault of the Earth King or the Avatar's" Lu Shi. Atrocious, ghastly, Lu Shi. "That is an unjust and cruel punishment for a situation that was not created, or sought by, my clients. Annulling the task is a defiance of the covenant with the Spirit of the Ocean."

She heard Pakku, Hakoda, Iroh and Piandao whispering furiously. Then Hakoda said.

"We won't annul the task, but the Avatar cannot be deemed the winner. He did have an unfair advantage over the other contestants, so we are declaring a draw, between the Earth King and the Crowned Fire Prince."

Lu Shi bristled.

"I oppose this proposal! Declaring a draw opens the possibility that no one will win the Contest, as there are only two tasks left."

'If there is no winner at the end of the Third task we will announce a bonus task to break the draw. Until then, this task is considered and declared a draw." Hakoda's voice was final, and Toph understood why Sparky's mom liked the guy. He was a natural leader, all purpose and justice, with the pull of someone who is at peace with himself.

Toph shivered, still irritated.

"Best efforts!" She mumbled, and grabbed Sparky's arm to walk away. He was still offended.

"Moron?" He asked.

"Ingrate?" She answered. They both breathed deeply. She spoke first. "OK, I may have been carried away a little, you know? With the possibility of the wooden cell?" He knew her and her apologies.

"Draw?" He said.

"OK." They started to walk together towards the rest of their team. Aang stayed behind and she felt a pang of remorse for screaming at him. She stopped. "Are you coming, Twinkle Toes?"

"No." He said. "There's something that I need to do. I'll wait for the other contestants in case someone needs my help."

Toph did not want to wait for anyone, so she walked away. They returned to the outer village in the sleds, and she was shivering when they reached the building.

"I need a really hot bath." She said aloud. Suki, next to her was also shivering.

"Me too."

"Ok, let's go to the bath house." Zuko proposed. "I'll heat the water for all of you."

They girls first got clean clothes, and then met at the bath house. Katara bended water in the tub and Zuko heated it almost to a boiling point. The young men took their leave . She heard Zuko's voice trailing. "_So, Chef?_" "_Shut up_."

The girls undressed and stepped in the water. After a minute of silence Toph asked:

"Pink tutu?"

"Shut up."

"I didn't say it was a bikini." Katara said after another minute. "I said it was a two piece outfit with no pockets for weapons and a lot of bare flesh, considering we were about to face firebenders under the steroidal effects of a comet."

"Shut up."

They stayed silent and eventually fell asleep in the hot water.

Toph woke up when Katara shook her awake.

"Hey, we're leaving. Are you coming.?" She shook her head. The water was still warm enough to enjoy. "OK, I'm leaving your clothes and drying linens on the chair next to the door. Here's the soap. Don't fall asleep again."

"I won't." She said lathering soap on her arms. She heard Katara and Suki leaving the bath house. She washed herself and after a couple of minutes closed her eyes and fell asleep again.

Toph woke up to cold water with a somersault. Someone was in the room.

"Want me to heat the water for you? It must be cold by now." Aang asked, but his voice was distant. She turned her head to where his voice was coming from.

"How long have you been here?"

"A while."

"Yes, would you please heat this for me?" She heard him approach, plunged his fist in the water and after a couple of moments the warmth extended to all the water in the tub, until it was steamy and relaxing again. She heard him retreating to where he was before, probably in the chair. "What are you doing?" She asked, curiously.

"Reading."

Silence.

"Did everyone finished the tasks?"

"June didn't."

"Why?"

"Sorrow."

"About what?"

"She wanted to be a librarian, but her mother opposed scrolls and reading on principle."

Silence.

"Jeong-Jeong?"

"Third."

"What was his sorrow?"

"Wanted to be a waterbender."

Silence.

"And the Rough Rhinos?"

"Fourth."

"How come?"

"Thanks to one of them that never wanted to be anything else in his life but member of a horde. He carried the entire task to completion."

Silence.

"Anyone else got hints?"

"No."

Silence.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?"

She heard him jump.

"Nothing?" He said, doubt creeping in his voice.

"Why are you talking in monosyllables?"

"I'm not!"

"Yes you are. You sound like Sparky. Why are you ignoring me?"

"I'm not ignoring you." He vacillated and then added. "I'm being detached and mysterious."

"You're being stupid, that's what you're doing."

"I thought you like mysterious!"

"Whatever gave you that idea? And anyway, why do you want to be mysterious now?"

"I … I don't know." He sounded deflated. "I'm going crazy. I need to do this contest, try not to do my best, and … and I can't stand the idea of Kuei taking you."

"What do you mean, taking me?"

"You know, _taking _you."

Realization hit her like a rock.

"Oh, by earth I know what's happening!! You're reading romance scrolls!!"

"I thought you wanted me to read these scrolls!"

"Forget whatever I said! Those romance scrolls are going to be the bane of my existence! No badly written foot massage scene is worth this! And for your information, no one will be taking me, claiming me or winning me, OK? Stupid Chin, doesn't he know what kind of damage bad literature is going to do to you?"

She stood up resolutely, and stepped out of the tub, fuming. She heard him gasp and realized a second too late that she was naked. Completely naked, which was a first for him because the night before one single piece of clothing had remained between them as both, physical and psychological barrier. Such barrier was now gone. She stood there, feeling the cold, not knowing what to do. Being blind she hadn't really developed a sense of shame but knew of the concept of decorum thanks to her expensive education.

"I'm cold." She said. "Can you pass me my things?" He wrapped her with one of the drying linens. She shivered and he blew hot air on her.

"Can I help you get dressed?" He asked. Her old self came back.

"I don't need help getting dressed, you know that."

"That's not the reason why I offered." He answered.

* * *

_-Thank you onesky-onedestiny at deviantart (aka fantasyrider-kh_) _for the Haruberries. The joke was too good to let it pass. _

_-Thank you Burning Ice for agreeing with me about Suki's insane outfit in the finale._

_-Source of the Riddles: Some obscure website about ancient riddles that I can't find anymore._

_-Arbiter elegantiarum: Latin, literally, arbiter of refinements. During Imperial Rome, this was the guy telling everybody how tacky their outfit was._

_-"Que será, será" A very old song that Doris Day sang in a very old movie, but that I heard the other day by a band called Pink Martini. Can't go wrong with classics. Check it in You Tube.  
_

_-**FANART!!** YAI!! (click in my profile for the links)  
_

_1. Fate and Tatli, by beautiful Luna_

_http : / / luna-wannabe dot deviantart dot com / art / Thatli-and-Fate-97935680_

_2. Aang warming Toph by inkstar147 (He looks soo sweet!)  
_

_http : / / inkstar147__ dot deviantart dot com / art / aMoH-Taang-98052001_

_3. La (who looks like Yue, but really is Tui, and then becomes La, and anyway she's a Goddess so she doesn't need to make sense to us lowly mortals) by Luna._

_http : / / luna-wannabe dot deviantart dot com / art / La-98085561_

_Recommendation: Also by Luna, a promising comic with charming drawings: 'Double Blind or How Toph became the Blind Bandit'. A work in progress._

_http : / / luna-wannabe dot deviantart dot com / art / Double-Blind-Intro-98172434_


	22. 6th Interlude, Two Flowers & One Secret

_This scene goes with Gabzillaz beautiful art at http : / / gabzillaz dot deviantart dot com / art / AMoH-Taang-bed-98992499 (copy, paste, delete spaces or just go to my profile and click on the link called "Secrets").  
_

_Gaby, este es para ti._

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**XXII. ****Sixth Interlude, Two Flowers and one Secret **

Toph wrapped her drying linen firmly under her arms, tying a knot on her front, suddenly self conscious but not sure why. Well, she knew why, but at the same time she didn't.

"What was your sorrow?" She asked instead, moving to where she thought the chair with her clothes was.

"I wanted to be free of all responsibilities since I can remember. I didn't even want to stay at the temples with the other monks. When I was a kid I just wanted to roam the world and follow the air currents."

"You can still do that." She said. By the way his voice was carrying, she noticed that he was giving her his back. She realized for the first time that he had been probably looking away on purpose all the time she had been in the tub, trying to give her the privacy her own blindness sometimes took away from her. That would explain his shock when she stepped out. She dried herself and started dressing, while still talking. "My parents have a summer house in the northern territories of the Earth Kingdom, where the mountains are. The area is famous for its winds. Once I went there in winter, and the strong wind of the North was blowing. The locals call it Tramontana. The say that it carries craziness with it. They close their shutters and their doors to the pull of the wind, because it takes people senses with it. I'm mentioning it because I think you should try the winds. Maybe it will take some sense away from you and let you have a life. You keep loading yourself with responsibilities, the things that you have to do, like the Avataring, and the things you don't have to do, like shouldering the entire loss of your race. You and Zuko, you guys are a match made in heaven."

He made a sound, but she couldn't for once figure it out.

"Every one keeps coming at me looking for wisdom. I can't even sort out my own destiny, and I'm supposed to give people wisdom that I don't have."

"Just quote wise sayings from the monks, even if they don't apply. Iroh does it all the time and everyone thinks he's a wise man. What he's good at, is marketing."

That made Aang laugh a little. She finished with her underwear, her under robes and was trying to sort out her outer robes, with the sash. He must have realized that she was dressed because he came to her and helped her with the sash. This time she let him do it.

"Let's go get dinner." He said, carefully stepping aside and not touching her.

She started walking and thought that maybe he understood her ignoring his offer of dressing her as a nice way of rejecting him. He seemed very good at reading rejection. She wondered about Katara and how things between them must have transpired for years for him to be so careful about not crossing lines when there was the possibility of rejection. Sort of, because he was still big on the kissing ninja thing. The first time, and even the second time he had kissed her, had been by taking her by surprise. However, a little encouragement from her part had taken him a long way which meant he was used at being rejected but kept trying anyway.

"You need to take a vacation." She told him seriously. "Away from politics, your Avataring, your race, even us, your friends. Don't go seeking enlightenment. Just go and rest for a while. The last vacation you took was years ago. I think it was when we went to the library and Appa got kidnapped by those sandbending leeches. By the way, one of these days I'm going back to make them pay for that, so let me know when you're going to be away on vacation to take advantage of the opportunity."

That made him laugh again.

"Maybe I can go try the winds at your parent's house in the North. Well, I don't know if they forgave me yet for kidnapping you, but you can put in a good word for me."

She stopped and turned to him.

"I will. Now, give me those scrolls you were reading." He hesitated and then produced them from within his robes and offered them to her. She did not take them. "Read the titles for me, please."

"One is called '_Dark desires at night's end_', the other one is called '_Driving Miss Daisy Crazy_', and the last one is _'Jumping Tiger, Kicking Curtains_'.

"That Chin is the worse. This is the shabbiest, raunchiest literature available out there. The foot massage descriptions are worth all the pages loaded with unimaginative repetitive adjectives and stupid dialogue, but frankly, you shouldn't take ideas from these. It's my fault, I didn't know how to finish the conversation we were having that day."

She heard him scratch his head.

"Toph, I'm a fast reader. I already read two of these scrolls. They are not that long and there is not much of a plot anyway. And I'm telling you, there is not a single foot massage description in those scrolls."

She didn't know if she should kiss him or punch him. She decided for neither.

"Just burn them. Or give them back to Chin. I need to talk to that guy, by the way. Where can we find him?"

"Maybe in the stables. He asked me earlier if I knew where Momo was, but I think he was looking for his bird actually."

Toph took her hands to her mouth.

"By the Spirits, we need to find Momo, now!"

"Why, what's going on with Momo?" Aang was concerned, following her when she started running. "You're going the wrong way, Toph, is this way!" He took her hand and started running with her.

"El Tuerto, that's what's going on."

"Who's El Tuerto?"

"That wicked poultry Chin's always hanging out with. That thing got its eye on Momo, and as I understand, that fowl is capable of making a platypus bear run for cover. Meanwhile Momo is like the animal kingdom version of you. Too innocent to understand what El Tuerto is about. Momo won't stand a chance. We need to hide Momo until El Tuerto goes away on his new mission."

They reached the stables out of breath. Appa was there, and she heard Momo's little chattering noises, and she would have felt relieved if it wasn't because of the smell. There it was, the reek of El Tuerto.

"Oh, hello Avatar." Chin said relaxed. "I found what I was looking for. Thanks."

"Chin, tell me the truth. What did your bird do to Momo?"

"Nothing that I know of, Great Master. When I got here he was in a perch, cleaning his wings!"

"Actually Toph, Momo is the one hugging the bird, for what I can see." Aang said, bewildered, scratching his head. She shook her head.

"We're too late. Momo is lost forever." She would have wished someone better for Momo. Momo was a good chap, that did not deserve something like El Tuerto. But it was what it was. "Chin, a word!" She took the fire soldier by the arm and guided him aside. "Chin, I'm warning you, that bird breaks Momo's heart and I'm going after it myself. I'll be feeding Tuerto nuggets to Master Sokka if it doesn't treat Momo right."

"The lemur is not complaining, Great Master. It seems quite happy, actually."

"Don't play innocent with me, man. I'm not Aang. And by the way, are you nuts? Giving romance scrolls to the Avatar? Do you know the kind of damage you may do with that?"

"Well, the Avatar asked me for those himself. And anyway, he's supposed to be getting married sometime soon, and he seemed concerned about certain things." Chin scratched something, probably his face. "His intended seems to be concerned with other things, though." He said reflectively but she did not indulge the conversation.

"Whatever. Take those scrolls back, please."

"Yes, sir. By the way, El Tuerto is ready for the next mission. This time he brought two shurikens and a piece of torn black silk. He's not betraying anything about the missions, but I think they are becoming more dangerous."

"Ok. Let me think about it. Go talk to the Avatar while I focus on the message." Chin went to where Aang was and she thought hard what to say to Mai.

_Dear Mai: Third Rule of the Girly Code. Men secret thoughts: High-class is boring. Slumming is good. Signed, The Blind Bandit._

She then felt bad about the message. It seemed like she was saying that being with Katara was slumming it. And it was not. The Water Tribes were challenged in certain departments, that was true, but as attested by elite warriors, Gods and all levels of Fire Nation royalty, they were also warm, caring, meanly good looking and capable of making their loves and lovers truly happy. She then changed the onus of the message on the recipient.

_Dear Mai: Third Rule of the Girly Code. Make-up is supposed to look good. Signed, The Blind Bandit. _

She had no idea about Mai's make up except that Suki thought that it was hideous, full of scary black lines. Well, Suki was into weird make up too, but she was Toph's friend and Mai wasn't so she took Suki's word for it. She then walked where Chin and Aang were, talking in hush tones. They shut up as soon as she got close.

"OK, Chin, here is the message." She dictated the message to Chin, who wrote it promptly. Toph then waited for Aang to say goodbye to the soldier, but he was not moving. "Are you coming to dinner with me?" She asked. He seemed doubtful.

"Chin was explaining the Covenant of the water tribes. It's full of legal terms." That did it for her.

"You stay and sort out the Fish legal situation. Give me a brief summary when you guys are done. Which way to the dinner hall or whatever they call it?" Aang gave her instructions.

"I'll see you later." He said and she nodded. It was not an idle social farewell. It was a fact. And she understood that it meant that he would see her either in her room or his, not at dinner.

0o0o0o0o0

Toph paced her room, thinking carefully. Food had been as dreadful as usual, she was turning into a vegetarian against her will, just not wanting to deal with Water Tribe culinary efforts. Between rice cakes and lichen dumplings, she was keeping her diet diversity to a minimum. Katara and Zuko had walked her to her room, and left her there. She did not want to ask where Aang's room was and she didn't think that she could find it on her own. He did not come to dinner, and she suspected that such a long conversation about the Fish's covenant meant nothing good. Anyway, her mind was full of something else. She was thinking about him coming to her room tonight and the fact that she was falling in love with him, and that she wanted to do something that would have Gran-Gran filling her head with speeches. Abstinence Only speeches. And that she was absolutely sure of what she wanted to do but was afraid that he may not be.

"_That monk is so ripe that if he were fruit, he would be at the foot of the tree already._" Fate said.

Toph stopped her pacing. Last thing she needed. Peeping Goddesses.

"Go away."

"_She has a point, Fate. Neither of them is going to be able to go back as things were before._" Tlatli was chewing on something. Someone else's virtue, probably.

"_Come on, luv, give us some trust. We know stuff. Being around a long time._"

Toph sat on her bed, her elbows on her knees, her face on her hands.

"He always thought his first time would belong to Katara. I don't know if he's ready for otherwise."

"_Ask him. Honesty may hurt, but it's better for you to know who is he thinking about when he's with you._"

Ok, that one hurt. Just thinking about it hurt. She shook her head.

"_Anyway, the problem right now is that you will be giving him something that you never expected to give in love. There is a lot of risk in loving without assurances._"

OK, that one not only hurt but scared her. It meant pain in the future too.

"Yes, I know how you work, Fate. No assurances."

"_Carpe Diem, little earthbender. No one can tell you where are you going to be tomorrow. Memories may be all you have left._"

She heard a soft knock on her door and heard the Goddesses scuttling away. "_Privacy, let's give them privacy._" Fate was saying, probably dragging Tlatli away. Toph stood up and leaned against the door, trying to feel vibrations through the wood. She heard his ephemeral movements and opened the door. Aang stepped inside. He bended fire in her stove, as the fire that Zuko had bended before was dying.

"I always forget that you don't need lamps." He said casually, sitting on her bed. She sat next to him.

"Do you want to go to a place with lamps?" She did not want to sound too forward. "_Hussiness is not attractive._" Her governess used to say to the servant girls in her house.

"Not really." They stayed silent for a couple of minutes.

"Did you have dinner? I saved rice cakes and vegetarian dumplings for you. Only edible stuff during the entire dinner." She stood up, and pick up from a shelf the food she had wrapped.

"Thank you." He said and sounded really grateful. She heard him chewing quietly.

"Did you give the scrolls back to Chin?" She sat next to him.

"I did. I think you're right about those scrolls. They have nothing to do with how the monks used to refer to men and women. The monks used to say that the best poetry is the poetry two people create together. There's no poetry on those scrolls."

"I know, and believe me, I'm paying for it."

She heard him breaking another piece of rice cake and putting it in his mouth. Zuko's lessons were working. He was not as loud as before, when they used to travel together.

"Talking about poetry, you know, you keep saying that you are my dirty little secret, but that's not true. You're my secret, yes, but nothing about our secret is dirty or little."

"Your feet are."

"What?"

"Little. Your feet are little. But not your tattoos. I need to remember that for the next time I'm drinking fire whiskey with the girls. The key is not the size of the feet but the appraisal of the tattoos."

"What on earth are you talking about?"

"Archery."

He sounded confused. To the point that she felt uncomfortable. She blushed and changed the topic, drastically.

"What did Chin say about the covenant?"

"That is sound. However, Chin was taking a lot of little notes while talking to me. He seemed to be dissecting that document and everything that happened today. He may be able to come up with something." Aang paused his eating, and added. "He's interesting."

"That's a way to put it."

"I mean, he seems to be comfortable with whom he is. He doesn't try to portray himself in a different light. He's very truthful about his past, what he likes, things like that."

"Oh, he is. When he tells you he's a cheat at playing dice he's not lying."

Aang kept eating.

"You know why I finished the task early today?"

"You wanted to get out of the caves."

"Yes. Those caves swallow you if you let them. You know that I never wanted to be what I am. But it was more. It was as if my entire set of current decisions weighed against me and all I wanted to do was to run away."

He finished eating and she heard him put the linen napkin that she had used to wrap the food away. He then did something unusual. He laid down his head on her lap. She imagined the light of the stove flickering on his face, back and forth. She started caressing his face. She kept away from his ears this time. It was not the right moment for that.

"Sometimes," Aang said, "I feel like two people."

"Well, you have that thing with the multiple personalities going on."

She felt his smile against her hands.

"Multiple previous _lives_, not personalities. And I'm talking about being a different person when I'm here with you than when I'm out there."

She didn't want to ask, but the hag wanted otherwise.

"Is that because you feel the need to be good out there, all the time?"

"Sort of. More than that, is that here with you I'm not subject to any rules. Any expectation. You … you let me be. You don't see me as the embodiment of hope. You don't feel the need to protect me."

He did not say it, but the hag said it for both of them. _You treat him like a man. Like a normal man._

Toph kept making circles on his face. She felt the prick on her neck and knew that he was looking at her. She closed her eyes out of instinct. She liked hearing this, but felt afraid of asking more questions. Free-will with her did not mean love, she knew that. But beggars can't be choosers and she was fighting many years of single mindedness. He spoke again, almost to himself. She was used to that, she was the perfect sounding board.

"Freedom feels so right."

Suddenly, he did something unexpected again. He sat down and said: "I probably should be going."

"Why?" her voice betrayed her disappointment.

"Because if I stay tonight, I won't hold back." He answered simply.

She understood his meaning immediately.

"Maybe I don't want you to hold back." She answered, in a low voice.

He held his breath.

"There's no going back. This is as irrevocable as it will ever be."

She shrugged.

"Better you than Kuei." She said but that was not what she wanted to say. She wanted to say that better him than anyone else. That she _did not want _anyone else.

"I don't think I like that." He muttered and she bit her lip.

"I understand. You want your first time to be with …" she couldn't bring herself to say a name "… someone else."

"No, it's not that. I don't know what I want." He answered honestly. "For a long time I wanted something specific. But now, I want to be with a friend and I want to be with someone that cares about me as much as I care about her. You're the best friend, and you know how much I like you and care about you. And I can feel that you really, really like _me_. Just me. Not what I represent. And I keep thinking about all the reasons not to do this, but all I can think of is that I really, really, _want you._"

She held a sob. She made it sound like a snort. Want and love were not the same thing, but it was easy to get confused. And if she had any modicum of self protection awareness it was also the right moment to step away. And then, she thought about La. _Carpe Diem. _

"There's a Spirit out there who wants me to be miserable." She said, drowning her pride under her emotions. "You can take misery away tonight. No strings attached. You said it yourself. Freedom. Here, in this room, there's freedom."

He grabbed her hand.

"Are you going to rub my ears?" He asked, hopeful.

"Are you going to kiss my feet?"

"I'm going to kiss you like all over." He tried to do the husky thing and she thought that it was hilarious.

"That's a yes on the ears, then."

He was serious, though, when he said:

"I'm going to kiss all of you, and you're going to know all of me." He kissed her hand. "Freedom." He said before kissing her on the mouth.

It came out as a complete surprise to Toph how much can two people do in one night. It was not the intimacy per se. After all, she absolutely knew all the theory about the facts of life. She was surprised by the laughs, every time the kisses subsided. And how easily can curiosity overcome shyness.

"Please, ask me to break all the rules that embody me and embody you." He told her while learning the taste of her skin.

And even tough they were both running on instinct, they couldn't be faulted, on anything. Of course they have been building up towards this. They both knew it. They justified it by arguing to themselves that she was getting even with Kuei on a preemptive-strike sort of way, and that he was getting the necessary experience for the gruesome task of repopulating the airbenders (a dirty job, yes, but someone had to do it). However, their voices betrayed all these arguments.

"Pull me near. I want to be cherished by you." She said later, when he laid her on her stomach.

"There won't be a single pore left untouched in this battle." He promised.

There was no way to ignore that the monks have been right about the fact that the best poetry is the one that two people write together.

At the end, she did realize that this was the most dangerous game of all. She was walking, all senses open, into probably the worst heartache in a millennia. However, she could not stop touching, exploring, moving. She put her mouth, her fingers and every bit of her in every bit of him, and he was game. For everything. At the last minute, just before she got scared enough to punch him in the head again, he softly pried her apart. She got to think for a moment that even if her heart hurt tomorrow, it was worth it tonight. She closed her eyes and told the monk "_I love you_" in her head, before giving in with all her might.

0o0o0o0o

Toph laid awake. She could hear his breathing, his head on her chest, his hand on her stomach, his body around hers.

"_Don't be afraid of hurting me." She had said. _

"_You make my heart shrink like dried fruit. You sound like a child." The monk had whispered. _

"_I'm not."_

"_Well, don't you be afraid of hurting me."_

_She had laughed._

"_I'm not."_

She stirred, wondering about the fact that she could still feel him within her, even though he was laying next to her. Her flesh felt tender, alive in places she never knew could be awoken. Like a breathing fiend, that wanted to be fed the same sensations, again and again. She realized that he was awake because she felt him against her thigh. Well, at least the tattoo was reporting for duty.

"Are you sore?" He asked from somewhere in her chest, his fingers moving on her stomach now.

"Yes and no." She caressed his ear, absentmindedly.

"Is there anything I can do to alleviate the soreness?" He asked concerned, raising his head, probably to look at her.

"How do you know about the soreness?" She was curious.

"Someone explained some things to me." She nodded, thinking about the irony of from whom that information was probably coming and from _where_ that _whom_ had acquired the knowledge of details like this.

She grabbed his ears and tugged him towards her face.

"I'll tell you how to cure my soreness." She whispered, starting to kiss him. She then pushed him on his back on the bed and straddled him. He was surprised.

"Are you sure …?" But the phrase ended in a low whimper of pleasure, while she was accommodating him, sliding, the barest flinching on her face while adjusting to the still new, still raw, feeling. She writhed, biting her lip, finding her own tempo, helped by his hands on her hips, while in her head the crazy thought awoke that she needed to feed the fiend before it ate her alive. One of his hands moved to her neck and went down, with open fingers, from her collarbone to the valley of her breasts, to her navel, to the core of the ache that was consuming her. "How you move." He said, and there was so much wonder, appreciation and, yes, happiness in his voice. "By the Spirits, how you move." And his voice ended in a trail, while grabbing the hair on the back of her head and bringing her down to him to kiss her with greed.

The first time, she had been too overwhelmed with the new feelings, the pain and the emotion. She had felt him melting on her, and she had understood by his shivering that he was going through a truly powerful reaction. Now that she was the one dictating the rhythm, guided by his pace, building up, and up, and up their joint sway, she was taken by surprise by the outburst from within. And it exploded and imploded in her yelps while she melted on him and he held her tight against his chest, kissing her hair over and over again.

She realized then that all their research was turning into a higher education degree, and based on the way they were applying themselves to the task, most likely a doctorate.

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_Carpe Diem: Latin, seize the day._

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	23. Second Task, Bravery

_Fanfiction is not sending alerts. So in case you read this, note that I tend to update often. So if you're following this story, feel free to check fanfiction often. Also THANK YOU for the reviews, they really, really help me figure things out. Cheers! A.-_

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**XXIII. Second Task, Bravery**

Toph was dreaming. She was back in the Spirit World and could smell an acrid odor. Fate was blowing smoke on her face. "_You're welcome._" The Goddess said grinning and Toph woke up. He was holding her, wrapped around her. She could feel his naked body against hers, the warmth of his inner firebender, the muscles of his legs, the pressure of his stomach against her back, the promise of his desire, again.

"What do you think they are having for breakfast?" He asked softly, and she wondered how long had he been awake, waiting for her to wake up.

"No idea, why?"

"Because we will be missing it."

0o0o0o0o0o00o0

She was sitting on her bed. He was behind her, untangling her hair. He removed the hair from her back, and pushed it over her shoulder. He kissed her back, in the middle, just below her neck.

"I should probably take a bath." She said aloud. That was a bold statement, coming from someone who had never been too keen on baths that did not involve soil. "You can help me, you're a firebender and a waterbender."

"No."

"You won't help me?" She asked surprised.

"No. I want the smell of us together in you."

She blushed.

"I can't believe you said that."

"I don't plan to take a bath today either."

"Today is the second task. Who knows what are they going to come up with. You may want to be clean."

"No. The smell will remind me of us and that I'm not supposed to do a best effort."

"This is so twisted and … sexy. In a twisted way. I don't remember this on the scrolls."

"Those scrolls are not about the senses, but only about one sense. We smell different, you know, us together. I like it." He breathed deeply on her back, just below the nape of her neck. "It reminds me of how you say my name like I'm going away and you're stopping me." She didn't know how could he read so much on her way of calling his name, she had been too busy letting go at the moment to remember anything clearly. And then she remembered something. She called him Aang, no Twinkle Toes or T.T. She turned her head, offering him her profile. "It's part of the poetry we're writing together." He said while kissing her back. "You want tea? I can get you better tea than the one from yesterday."

She coughed.

"Darn! Tea!" She jumped from the bed, trying to find her clothes scattered around the place.

"What? You cannot possible be serious at trying Suki's tea again! It's the worst tea in the four nations!"

"You silly monk, is not about the taste but the properties! Where are my bindings?"

"What properties?" She stopped and decided to blurt it.

"To stop little flying earthbenders from knocking on our door several seasons from now."

Realization made its way through his brain. And then he jumped too.

"You should have told me!" He stopped. "Hey, you made me drink that thing! Does it work on me?"

"I've no idea. Can't hurt, though."

"How does it work? I mean, what are the instructions? How many times do you have to drink it?"

"No idea either. It's not like I want to have this conversation publicly, and highlight our clean big secret. Gran-Gran suggested it."

He sounded shocked.

"Gran-Gran?"

"Shut up. All I know is that Suki is dealing with this dreadful thing called the Kyoshi Code and that there are specific instructions, among them that she needs to give her enthusiastic warriors tea to stop doubling the population of the island. Anyway, it makes sense. She has been with Sokka for years now and she has managed to avoid Kyoshi-Sokkas from terrorizing this planet."

"Well, Suki is probably done with her ceremony by now. No point in rushing over there. We probably should go to her room and just get some of the tea for you. I can look at the Code for the instructions or something."

"Good idea." He stopped her by grabbing her shoulders and kissing her.

"So, you were thinking about this yesterday morning?" He asked, amused.

"Help me with the bindings, you shameless unprepared monk. You didn't even think about it last night! I can't believe we are trusting the balance of the world to you."

"Give me a break! I've been all worried because I'm supposed to repopulate my race. Precaution tea is not high in the to-do list of repopulating plans!" He stopped, embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I should have asked. The monks really had reproduction in mind when dealing with this subject, it's hard to remember about precautions. I never heard of it before coming here."

"Well, this is one of reasons you like me. Because I'm sharp. Help me here and let's go."

They sneaked to the corridors, Aang making sure no one saw them. He then rushed them to Suki's room. The door was not locked and they sneaked in. Being blind she couldn't find anything, so she was the impromptu lookout. Or sound-out. Or whatever was called to listen to sounds because you couldn't look. She heard him rummaging and then gasping, holding his breath. He had found something interesting, because his breathing kept changing. '_So_,' the hag said casually, '_he's stealing for you._' She ignored the hag but felt weirdly proud. A moment after she felt his fingers on her elbow.

"Let's go." He said, rushing her out of the room.

"What happened, did you find the tea?"

"We don't need the tea."

"What are you talking about?"

"I found the Kyoshi Code. I don't want to talk about it, remember it or discuss it. And I don't know how am I going to look at Kyoshi in the face next trip I do to the Spirit World. Living 230 years is obviously too long. You get too many ideas living so long."

"You're rambling. What about the tea? I mean, I may still be alive at the end of this Contest, and those baby flyingbenders are really going to be hard to explain."

He stopped, turned and grabbed her shoulders.

"I'm a waterbender." He explained simply. "Kyoshi was a waterbender too, so she explains what to do. Not that she needed the skills that often, with her preferences. Enough said, I will need a couple of hours of serious meditation to clean up my brain."

"Poor Suki."

"I'm learning more here at the South Pole that I've ever learned anywhere else." He kissed her again, and she noticed that he did not move like looking around first to make sure no one was watching.

They made it to the Hall. It was already full. Suki and Sokka came over.

"We were about to go looking for you. Did you oversleep again? We can't start if you're not in the room, you know? Hello Aang. Kuei had been asking for you, but it seems like you forbade everyone from looking for you or something."

"I did. So, are we starting now?"

"Well, Toph is here, so I guess yes. Thank you for making sure she shows up. We were expecting her to run away in Appa any day now."

"Can't. La would go Azula on your tribe, Sokka. I wouldn't do that."

They walked her to where the rest were. She heard Katara and Zuko the Cat getting closer.

"Good to see you guys. I was getting concerned that maybe Toph decided to ran away and Aang had to go chasing for her." Katara said.

"Nope. Not running." Toph said. Aang just shrugged.

"Not likely. Not with the Covenant I just reviewed with Chin." He turned politely to them. "Good morning Katara. Your hair looks good today." He was calm, collected, a little distant. "What's up Sifu Hotman? I'll make sure I lose today." He slapped Zuko on the back and added, before walking away. "I'm going to say hi to the Elders."

"Aang looks different." Suki commented, and Toph could feel from the way the warrior's body was leaning that she was looking at him walking away.

"Yes." Katara assented, also leaning her body the same way. "Like more … assured."

"Has he grown lately? He looks tall."

"Orange is not that bad a color once you get used to it." Sokka added, like pondering something for the first time.

"He didn't shave today." Katara commented. "I think is the first time I see his stubble."

"Stubble can look good." Suki agreed. "Who would have said that stubble and blue tattoos could be interesting?"

Zuko leaned towards Toph and whispered in her ear, casually.

"He's wearing the same clothes than yesterday."

"So are you." She said and he gasped, surprised, taking a fraction to remember that she couldn't see what he was wearing. "Champ one, Sparky zero." She added.

"Give me time. The day is young."

When the audience was assembling to hear the announcement of the second task, Toph who was standing on one side, her mind wondering immersed in deeply felt memories, heard a little cough. She didn't bother turning.

"You look different today, Master Bei Fong." Kuei, King of Misery, said. She didn't answer. "You glow." He insisted. She turned her head towards his voice.

"Not thanks to you. You have brought me nothing but wretchedness."

"It wasn't like this before. We used to be friends. You used to laugh with me." He sounded sad.

"More like 'at' you, but you could never tell the difference."

"Why can't you give me a chance, Master? I will treat you right." She could have believed him a couple of weeks ago. But this was the same man that was building a wooden cell for her and painting it gold. And she wondered about the bottomless capacity for deceit that people, and some men in particular, seemed to have. And she just wanted to deal with people who would tell her the truth, regardless of how painful.

"Because I have some taste." She answered, and then a voice behind them cut the conversation short.

"Earth King, you gave your word that you would not seek my friend out. She gets upset." Aang's voice was calm, but there was a latent warning underneath.

"I'm doing nothing that betrays our agreement, Avatar. This hall is full of people, and we are just having a social interaction."

Toph turned her face away from the Earth King, and walked past Aang without taking her leave. She heard Aang bowing to the king.

"Earth King." He said before turning and following her.

Bato was reading again.

"Chief Hakoda of the Now Unified Southern Water Tribes opens the Eight Session of the General Assembly of the First Official Peace Summit since the End of the One Hundred Year Old War Started by the Fire Nation. The First Order of Things is the Announcement of the Second Task of the Contest of the Frosts. Being the First Task declared a draw between suitors Kuei, the 52nd Earth King, and Zuko, Crown Prince of the Fire Nation. The remainder suitors are Master Firebender Jeong-Jeong and Colonel Mongke and his Rough Rhinos. Suitor June the Bounty Hunter retired from the contest after not finishing the first task."

Hakoda addressed the hall.

"The Second Task is Bravery. After careful consideration, the Elders of the Water Tribes, with the help of the White Lotus Order have decided to test bravery in a different way than the usual one. The Second Task is a Talent Contest. As the philosopher once said, the brave are tested by performing brave actions. Each suitor and his team will perform a talent. It's our belief that well rounded people are not limited to one single way of expressing themselves. Therefore, the talent will have to be oriented to the arts and entertainment. Not only the Elders but the audience gets to vote on this occasion. Suitors will have the rest of the day to prepare for the task and we will reconvene before sunset in this hall for the performances. May the most brave, and talented, win."

Toph heard the commotion in the room, and the Rough Rhinos high fiving each other, convinced that this one would be an easy win. Someone touched her shoulder. Sokka.

"Come on, we need to talk about this. Zuko is freaking out."

They ended up finding refuge in the chambers of the Lady Ursa. These were ample rooms, with more furniture that was usual in Water Tribe abodes, composed of an ante-chamber that included a table, chairs, and a warming stove, and which connected to a separate bedroom. Ursa's lady-in-waiting was brewing tea and offering dumplings. Suki commented that she could tell with how much care these chambers have been planned out.

"This is uncle's doing." Zuko was saying, darkly. "It has his hand all over it. No one else can come up with a way of making the entire Contest an exercise in ridicule and then call it art."

"Dear, your uncle always believed in the concept of a well rounded personality. It may do you some good to participate." Lady Ursa, in reality, sounded amused at her son's predicament.

"Don't sweat it Zuko. I'll come up with a plan." Sokka was all purpose. "Anyway, you do owe Iroh. After everything he did for you, you betrayed him, dumped him in a Fire Nation cell and then sent an assassin after us. You went _monster _on him. So if I were you I would welcome the ridicule. You're getting away cheaply. So, back on topic, what can you do?"

"I can firebend and I can do very good exercises with my dao swords. I can climb on walls, and I'm not even an airbender."

"It has to do with the arts. Are martial exercises considered art?" Suki asked innocently.

"Maybe. Don't know. What about a sparring match between Katara and Zuko?" Sokka jumped with excitement at the idea. "They can do a martial arts type ballet, and go at each other as they used to do at the temple and fill the place with tension until everyone have to borrow Suki's fans!"

Toph _heard_ the embarrassment in Zuko's and Katara's faces. She knew perfectly well what those sparring matches were all about, why the tension had people taking cold showers and why almost four years later they were still dealing with the aftermaths.

"I don't do ballet." Zuko said surly.

"And I don't have Suki's pink tutu." Katara added, crossing her arms.

"The only thing we are all good at are martial arts. I say we do a ballet-meets-martial presentation and deal with it." Sokka said finally. He turned to Aang. "What's your talent, Aang?"

Against all probability, Aang had come up with them to Lady Ursa's chambers. He was standing on one side of the room, leaning against a wall, and Toph could feel his presence behind her, the prick on her neck that meant his eyes on her, the notion that there were invisible threads covering the distance between them. It was like the Kuku-Tara thing. When she moved, he quivered slightly in response, all senses in overdrive to pick up the body signals of each other.

"I can dance." He said from his corner.

"No, you can't." Toph shot a finger at him. "You're actually a good dancer. So don't choose dancing. Choose something else."

He seemed affronted.

"I want to dance! I'm the only good dancer in this group!"

Sokka stepped in.

"Aang, you were picked by the other team, get it? We are competing _against _you."

"You said this was Team Avatar."

"Minus the Avatar! You're championing Kuei! And you need to remember that we want you to lose!"

Toph bit a dumpling.

"Told you Twinkle Toes, you don't have the right attitude to lose this Contest. It's because you are _cursed _with talent. I'm telling you because it's annoying: you get your hands on something and you're either a natural at the thing, or you stumble upon crazy luck and get away with the thing. No dancing. "

"So, if I am so good at everything," yep, there was some smugness in the voice, bothersome monk. "What do you suggest so I lose?"

"Poetry. Ninety nine percent of all poetry in the world is terrible. Hideous. Boring and Evil. I know. My tutors used to read classic poetry to me all the time, and got me on my knees crying. Besides, if written poetry is bad, people orating poems is the closest to hell on earth you can get. Only one person in one hundred thousand can do it right, and I doubt you're one of them."

"I don't know any poems by memory. Only the _Song of Tan_, which is a long saga of an airbender monk that loses his staff in a vat full of cheese. The entire saga is about how he looks for his staff in the cheese, and his despair at having lost it. It is universally accepted that the descriptions of the cheese are the best descriptions ever of a lactic product."

"That sounds like a winner. Settled, you do the Song of Tan. We will take care of Zuko."

"I'm not a performer!" The Fire Prince insisted. "Last time uncle tried to get me to perform was when we were exiled on the Earth Kingdom and I went Blue Spirit on the guy who tried to force us to perform. I'm not doing it." With that remark Zuko got up, his dignity intact, and went to the door.

"Where are you going?" Katara called.

"To feed Appa!" The Fire Prince finished slamming the door. Toph heard Aang going to the door.

"I'll talk to him." He announced to the world and left the room.

Sokka was still considering possibilities.

"Maybe we can get some music as a background for the martial arts."

"Zuko used to have a beautiful voice when he was a boy." Ursa commented casually.

Katara was interested.

"Really, he sang?"

"All the time. In private, of course. Ozai was not a big patron of the arts. But he was instructed in music, and some of the Fire Nation choral compositions from before the war are among the most beautiful in the four nations. He used to sing to me all the time. Zuko was a soprano as a boy. He now strikes me more in a baritone range."

Toph could hear Sokka's brain turning wheels. Spinning the wheels more likely.

"Toph, you know the fireguys well, are there any musicians among Yin's men?"

"They all play some sort of musical instrument. They are very into Music Nights."

"Great, I need to check something out. Suki, come with me, I need to talk to your warriors."

Sokka and Suki left the room. Toph kept eating her dumpling.

"So, does Zuko ever sing to you now?" Katara asked the Lady Ursa.

"I think his father did everything he could to squash any music in him. However, yes, the other night he sang me a song we used to favor when he was a kid. Tell me dear nu-er, does he ever sing to you?"

Katara gasped on her tea for a second, and then made a decision because Toph heard her putting her cup down and saying firmly.

"No, he does not." Without denying anything.

"Ask him. He used to like it a lot. Tell him that you cannot sleep and that it will help you fall asleep." With that final phrase it was established, and in the open, the Ursa-Kuku-Tara relationship. Toph thought that it was nice. Katara did too, because her voice was smiling when she said:

"I will."

The door to the room opened and she heard Zuko and Aang coming in.

"Guys, have you seen Momo?" Aang sounded concerned. "He's not in the stables."

"No, we haven't."

"I'll be back." Aang left the room. Zuko came over and sat next to his mother. Like repeating a lesson he said, teeth gritting.

"I'll perform. I promised you Champ that I would help you with this and I will. Katara, we can do a sparring ballet match but I refuse to wear any make-up or any frills. Also, no tights. I don't do tights."

The room's door opened again and this time she heard Sokka and Suki.

"We have the talent! Here!"

"What's this?" Katara asked. Toph leaned forward.

"Blind girl here, descriptions are required!"

"It's a poster of a very good looking guy dressed in black with a couple of very small … drums? on his hips. It looks like he's banging them with his hands."

"Those are called bongos." Sokka informed his sister with pride. "And you are looking at a poster of _Tha King_, courtesy of Ty Lee. He is the biggest musical sensation to hit the Earth Kingdom and the four Nations since before the war. You don't know about him, sis, because you sequestered yourself here at the South Pole, where there is not much going on in the ways of the arts. But anyone hip and trendy out there knows Tha King"

"I know Tha King." Toph said, drinking tea.

"Everyone does."

"No, I mean, I really know him. Like personally. We are friends and everything."

Sokka was in the middle of a fangasm.

"You? You have touched Tha King? Suki and I saw him in concert four months ago and the entire coliseum was going down."

"What type of music is it?" Katara asked. Toph heard Zuko dropping his head between his arms and mumbling '_Oh no, Sokka, no'._

"It's this new type of music called Roll the Rocks that it's all the rage now. He performs with earthbenders that roll rocks with bending while he sings. He was actually at the center of a controversy, because the Dai Li totally forbade his concerts in the Earth Kingdom and the youth made a big stink about it and there were demonstrations and everything."

Toph intervened.

"I'm telling you, those Dai Li are horrible. Five of them decided without consulting me to forbid Tha King's concerts and music in the Kingdom because at that time he was calling himself The King and the Dai Li argued that it would generate confusion with Kuei. So to protect Kuei's dignity and divinity, whatever, this is the same guy that makes out in public with a stinking bear, they went ahead with the prohibition. When I found out, I slapped those Dai Li for a couple of weeks, I even buried them alive to teach them some respect and inoculate them against acting without consulting me, their boss, first. Anyway, I had to explain to them that as Dai Li they have to protect the cultural heritage of Ba Sing Se and if Roll the Rocks is not the embodiment of cultural heritage, I don't know anything about high art."

"You don't." Zuko said. "Seriously, you don't. I can't imagine what happened to Ba Sing Se's cultural landscape with you in charge."

"Hey, listen, I have the upbringing OK? I know all about classic music and art. And I'm telling you, it's freaking boring. Roll the Rocks is the music of the future, that's what Ba Sing Se needs. Anyway, you can't fight progress, get it through your head for when you become Fire Lord and start sponsoring the arts."

"So, you made Tha King change his name?"

"Well, I had to explain to Kuei that Tha King had been saddled with a really unfortunate name at birth, so it was either the nickname or his given name. And given the choice, Kuei agreed with me. We made him change The King for Tha King to avoid confusions (yeah, like anyone is going to confuse a hot real earthbender with Kuei) and problem solved."

"What's his given name?" Suki asked.

"thepElvis."

"You mean 'the Pelvis'?"

"No, I mean thepElvis. It was written like that in the birth certificate. You know Ba Sing Se, they keep records of everything. Kuei found it too suggestive for the masses. Anyway, he allowed the guy to keep his artistic name and we did a great concert in the middle ring to celebrate. You would never think that I did important things while in Ba Sing Se, but I did great things for the cultural heritage and the morals of the teenagers there. They now have Roll the Rocks and Tha King."

"Toph, you as cultural attaché is a scarier proposition than Ozai ever was." Zuko mumbled from somewhere in the room.

"You know, that's the problem with you Fire Nation people, you're highly educated but not cultured. No offense Lady Ursa."

"None taken. So, Sokka, why are you showing us Tha King's poster?" Lady Ursa asked, all politeness.

"Because Zuko kinda looks like this guy, and I think we should do an impersonation!"

"No, no, NO WAY! I'm the Crown Fire Prince, I am _not _doing impersonations of guys with bongos. And anyway, look at his pants! Those are waaaay too tight! He must have some damage from wearing those pants!"

"You don't have to wear the pants, but it will help with the impersonation. Anyway, you need to look at the positive side. At least you're not Fire Lord yet. You can still get away with this."

"Sokka, don't even get there! Let me keep my dignity!"

"Actually Sparky you left that one awhile ago, the day you decided to disembark in the South Pole. I should know, I left mine too." Toph informed him, making another mental note. _Champ two, Sparky zero._

"But how is Zuko going to do an impersonation of a guy he hasn't even seen in concert?" Katara asked, a feeble attempt at siding with Zuko.

"Oh, that's nothing!" Sokka said. "I can show him. This is how he dances. Tha King moves the hips like this." Toph couldn't figure out really how was Sokka moving because the ice distorted the vibrations, but she remembered Tha King's dancing style and knew for a fact that it was not for the faint hearted.

Someone knocked on the door. Finally, someone coming into a room and knocking on the door.

"The door!" Zuko sounded thankful and ran to the door.

She heard the polite voice of Chin.

"Good day your highness, I'm looking for the Avatar. I think I have something of his."

Toph turned her head.

"Come in Chin, is Momo with you?"

She heard the soldier stepping inside, smelled El Tuerto and heard Momo's chattering noises. She also heard Sokka's holding his breath.

"What's that?" Sokka asked, sounding scared.

"This is my messenger bird." Chin explained, a bit uncomfortable.

"I thought it was a scientific experiment." Sokka tried to apologize.

"Don't get confused by the looks, Sokka." Toph clarified. "This bird is the only bird in the entire Fire Nation army that carries an official License to Kill. He's also on a secret mission for the sake of _your _family."

"Ah." Sokka sounded unconvinced. "And why is Momo hugging its leg that way?"

"This bird is also Momo's significant other. Get used to the idea. It's family now." She heard Suki gasp in horror and Katara actually trying to come up with something nice to say.

"Momo, I'm so … content for you." She said lamely. Chin seemed a bit affronted by the lack of enthusiasm shown by El Tuerto's new in-laws.

"I'm looking for the Avatar." He repeated a bit defensively. "His lemur won't let go of my bird, and El Tuerto has a mission to perform. He cannot fly with a lemur attached to his leg."

Zuko called in another soldier and sent him to fetch Aang.

"Wait here for the Avatar, Corporal." He told Chin. "He will be able to pry Momo from his … significant other."

Chin got closer to Toph and deposited El Tuerto, with Momo on tow, on the table next to her. She noticed that El Tuerto was leaning towards her, getting closer and closer and it took her a moment to realize that the impious, brazen animal was smelling her. She cursed Aang mentally and stood up, walking as far away as possible from the bird. She felt _dishonored_.

Sokka, meanwhile, decided to go back to the talent contest.

"So Zuko, look here, this is the way is done."

Toph heard Chin moving to get a closer look at Sokka.

"Master Sokka." He asked concerned "Did you hurt your hip? My grandpa had the same problem after falling from a tree, we had to get an acupuncturist and three healers to help him with the hip therapy."

"No, no, man, I'm dancing. I'm doing Tha King's movements!!"

"Oh." Chin scratched something. "I really like Tha King. Best thing about the war ending was that we could openly dance and sing Roll the Rocks music. It was forbidden in the Fire Nation before Regent Fire Lord Iroh assumed power. Maybe I can help. We practice Roll the Rocks all the time during music nights. Let me try."

"I'm lost." Toph covered her face with her hands. "Twinkle Toes is winning this thing with both hands tied at his back."

She left the room. She knew, by personal experience, the dancing talents of the Fireguys. And anyway, El Tuerto kept trying to get close to her to smell her. She had to leave the room. She leaned against the door. She could still hear them inside. Chin was doing his best. Sokka tried to follow. Both of them were acting bravely. Suki ran outside the room.

"Explain to me again why is it that I'm still dating Sokka?" She asked, pain in her voice.

"Big feet." Toph answered helpfully.

"Thanks. I needed that."

They heard Zuko's voice.

"I don't get this. Is someone attacking you?"

"We're dancing!"

"As soon as I'm Fire Lord, I'm banning dancing again!"

Toph and Suki came back in the room. Meanwhile, Katara sounded interested.

"You can do those movements, Zuko." She said

Toph sensed his surprise and scandal.

"Whatever gives you that idea?" He asked, stupidly. Toph knew enough about Tha King's dancing to understand where Katara was getting the idea. The waterbender insisted.

"You can do that, I just know it. Try it."

"You're joking. The Fire Nation Crowned Prince dancing like Tha King? Never."

Toph sat down in a chair, a painful expression in her face. She extended her hand towards Katara.

"Sweetness, do you promise to write when I'm sitting blindly in my wooden cell, with no bending and no friends? Maybe I can get a Dai Li to have mercy and read your letters to me."

"OK, I'm doing it!" Zuko said, his voice full of anger.

Suki tapped Toph's shoulder with a fan.

"You're better at emotional blackmail than me."

"I'm learning from experts."

"How am I supposed to this?" He asked, full of disapproval. Katara grabbed his hand and took him aside to explain. Toph could still hear pieces of the conversation, but that was because she was blind and had an amazing hearing.

"_You must be joking, I can't do those movements in public. Those are private. Between you and me."_

"_Just think that you're with me and follow the surge. Like when I'm bending the flow inside you."_

"_It's different. It's you bending me from the inside. I cannot do this by myself."_

"_Oh yes, you can. No one can move like you do." _

Zuko stepped forward, fuming.

"OK, Chin, Sokka, show me." He sounded austere. Toph heard Chin and Sokka moving. Zuko must have done a gesture to stop them, like raising his hand or something. "Enough. I'm going to attempt this."

Toph heard him moving. A hip twist, to the left, to try. Suki gasped. He then gave a another one, to the right, testing. Suki gasped again. Zuko then did two twists, to the left and right, quickly. Suki fainted. His fate was sealed.

"Zuko" Katara was adamant. "You're the guy. You have the moves, the looks, the brains. You _have _to do this."

Zuko had to throw up.

0o0o0o0o0o

Aang finally showed up to pry Momo from El Tuerto. He had to promise the lemur that El Tuerto would be back after completing the mission, and then had to pet Momo, who was really sad. The fact that El Tuerto kept trying to get close to Aang to smell him did not help the situation with Momo's dejection. Chin had to pry El Tuerto away from Aang, and gave it orders to fly away from the room and to the Fire Nation. Sokka was impressed when he saw it fly.

"That's a fast ugly chicken" He whistled in appreciation.

"Fast _evil _ugly chicken." Toph underlined. "Never underestimate the power of being a total bastard."

She then walked casually to where Aang was and whispered, while patting Momo's head.

"While Momo here is dating that animal from hell, we will be having daily baths. Your sexy idea almost got me violated by a chicken. I'm so not feeling sexy right now."

He patted Momo's head too and whispered back.

"I hear you. You're blessed with blindness. You did not get to see the lustful eye of that animal all over you. I will face Ozai, Sozin and Azulon together before dealing with that roving eye again." He then whispered even lower. "Can I bathe you?"

She smiled and walked away without answering. She went to where Katara was, who was now talking to Chin in a motherly way. Katara may have had an alternative vision of her inner sorrows in that cave, but she was back to basics. Toph understood wanting to be many things in Chin's life. Probation officer came to mind. But wanting to be his mother? That was too much. Even for Katara. Toph concluded that old habits die hard.

"So Chin." Katara was saying sweetly. "You're a nice guy. How is it that you don't have a steady girlfriend? I'm sure there are several Kyoshi warriors that would like to spend time with you."

Chin scratched his head for the sound of it.

"I'm sorry Master Katara, but I only date harlots." His honest answer took the audience aback.

"I beg you pardon?" Lady Ursa asked, amusement in her voice.

"I only date harlots, Your Highness."

"How come?"

"Less complicated. Once I dated this girl with whom I was crazy in love. She broke my heart. She not only got a guy in our house, she gave the guy my food, let him use my weapons, wear my best boots, everything. I had this big vat of tofu that my mom made for me, and he ate it all. At the end it was not only that he ate my tofu and got my woman, my weapons, my shoes, and my dog, but that he looked better on everything and that both, the woman and the dog, seemed happier. Since then I only deal with harlots. That way I know what I'm getting into from the start."

"Hey Chin," Toph intervened. "Have you met a Kyoshi warrior named Ty Lee? She's very peppy. I think you may like her."

"I know Ty Lee pretty well, Great Master." He volunteered noncommittally.

Suki who had approached the group tapped Toph on the shoulder with her fan.

"Chin here is a favorite of the Kyoshis. All of them. He's teaching them the Agni Code."

Toph didn't have to ask what Code were the Kyoshi's teaching him in return or which Code was losing the face off. If she could see, she could imagined Yin looking as haggard as Suki, and his topknot hanging on one side.

At that moment, Sokka came over with the second stage of the task preparation. Choosing the song.

"We need to find something catchy. Tha King has so many good songs."

"The one that I really like," Chin ventured, all innocence, "is called _Suspicious Minds._"

Toph thought about _everything _ that was going on at the South Pole.

"Naahh." She dismissed it. "Too slow. We need to get Zuko in a mean beat with those bongos."

"I'm not doing the bongos."

"Aang is doing the cheese. You should do the bongos." Katara intervened.

Zuko groaned. His mother handed him something.

"Here dear, have a cup of tea."

Toph brain was still working.

"Hey Sparky, I have the song for you to sing." She said gravely. "It's called '_I'm not gonna teach your boyfriend how to dance with you'._" Sparky sputtered the drink. Suki giggled and Sokka completely missed the implication. Aang was still consoling Momo on the other side of the room, not paying attention. Katara was offended. "_You're going to hell." _ She told Toph under her breath. "_I know." _Toph shrugged. _Champ three. Sparky zero._

"No, no." Sokka intervened. "We need to do a classic. You know, one of Tha King's classics. No way to go wrong with the classics. He has _Hound Dog_. That's like the best song ever for dancing. And then we can tweak the lyrics a bit to make it original and we have a winner."

Chin stood up.

"You're right Master Sokka. I'm going to fetch the rest of my unit and their musical instruments so we can start practicing with Your Highness. The Rough Rhinos have been practicing for an hour now."

"Those guys _can't _beat us. They do real classic music. Fire Nation opera classic. We on the other hand are going to rock the South Pole."

"You need earthbenders for that." Toph mentioned casually.

"This is the thing about diversity, Toph. You can do earthbending music with firebenders and waterbenders and get an improved result. We fought a war for diversity. Music is the next battlefield." Sokka unsheathed his sword. "Let's call to arms! Suki, go get the Kyoshis! We are in the path of winning this thing and this chick!"

Toph stood up.

"On that note, this chick is going to take a hot bath. I'm not needed at rehearsals, and let's put it this way, I rather be surprised that going through the growing pains of this with you all. I'll meet you later this afternoon." She turned to Chin. "Can you get one of the fireguys to come over and help me heat my bath?"

"Of course Great Master."

Toph left Ursa's room, tracing the walls to guide herself to her own room to get clean clothes. After El Tuerto, she needed to change. She was disoriented for a bit, but then recognized the patterns on the walls. Sokka had his waterbenders put water tribes designs all over the walls, and Suki said that they were beautiful, and that walking through aisles surrounded by bas-reliefs was a pleasure for her. They now helped Toph find her way. She reached her room and was busy kneeling sorting out her clothes, thanking Gran-Gran in her head for being so thoughtful with her waterbending cleaning services, when a voice said.

"Do you need help with that?" She did not turn.

"What happened with the fireguy that Chin was supposed to get?"

"I volunteered."

"You're not watching the rehearsals?"

"Not ethical. After all, I'm the competition."

She was touching two different outfits, wondering which one would be best.

"The one in your left hand." He said. Suki's outfit. Figures.

"You don't need to practice your poem?" She felt his fingers in her neck.

"Better if I don't. We don't want me winning this by mistake. Besides, I can practice my poetry right here." He was smelling her again. Better than El Tuerto, though.

"You will fix my bath later, OK? That's not negotiable."

"I'll personally heat the water for you."

0o0o0o0o0o0o

He liked undressing her as much as dressing her, that was a fact. She wondered why. She wondered if it had to do with the fact that these were some of the few occasions that she came across as vulnerable. She wondered if he liked playing with dolls when he was a kid. That thing with his feminine side, that was not a joke. But in his case, he made the feminine thing truly sensual, so she was not complaining. He also liked getting lost in her. The thing with being blind is that everything becomes a feast of the senses. There is no other way. Sound, touch, smell, taste, everything overcompensates for what you cannot see, so he said that he wanted to understand how was it for her, and made her blindfold him. And then everything went on overdrive. Really. His hands, always curious, went through all her mounds, curves, crevices, and sensitive spots. He would follow with his face, nuzzling, licking, kissing, paying attention to every little sound coming from her, enthusiastic if it was sigh, keen if it was a whimper, fervent if it was a moan. He then said that he wanted to taste all of her. And even though she was guarded at the beginning, he quickly chased her wariness away, making her feel like a cherished, delectable doll, her body so pliant that soon her own senses took over completely, in shakes and moans. When she recovered her breath, she tried to do the same to him, but he shortly said something about having to see her, threw the blindfold away and she found herself with her knees on his shoulders so he could kiss her feet too, his passion rocking in her. She saw the enjoyment on his face with her feet and she smiled in return, while stretching her body and arching her back. That brought another one of those unexpected reactions. He wrapped her legs firmly around his waist, blanketed her body with his, cupping her face with his hands and changed the rhythm to long, deep, movements going hand in hand with his deep, languorous kisses. He was literally making her pant, and all she could do was respond to him, and respond and respond.

He had to wake her up later. There's just so much a body can take, so she was truly ready for a bath. Which he drew and heated for her. After making sure that there was no one around, he got in the tub with her and lathered both, him and her with soap until they were clean of everything but memories, warm flesh and contentment. He then dried and dressed her and she let him do it. Why not? Is not like warriors are on call 24/7. You don't have to be fearsome _all the time_. You can be open to other things, like your lover's tenderness, and let some pampering seal the affection in the kisses.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

Zuko was having a performance anxiety attack, locked on his mother bedroom. He was refusing to talk to anyone, throwing up in a bucket. Aang, then, said something interesting.

"Katara, go talk to him." It was not a command, but it sounded like one.

"Why me?" She asked, more surprised at the fact that Aang was making the request than anything else.

"Because he trusts you, and you are one of the few people he respects and listens to. You're great at calming people too, you used to bring me down from the Avatar State before I learned how to control it."

Toph heard Katara saying a very low OK, and then knocking softly on the door. Suki handed Katara a cup of tea. "_Give him this, it may help_."

"Zuko, it's me, open up." The prince opened the door and let her in.

Lady Ursa gave Aang a cup of tea too.

"That was a good call, Avatar." She said simply. He thank her in a low voice.

Sokka was pacing the room, sword in hand.

"We have the musicians, the chorus girls, the choreography, the lyrics. The only two things missing are Zuko's outfit and the bongos. He refuses to do the tight black pants or the bongos. We got a pair of maracas. Do you think he would do maracas instead? But Tha King without the pants is not Tha King."

"Shouldn't we change Zuzu's name to Tha Prince?" Ty Lee, who apparently was the main chorus girl, suggested.

"That's a good idea, Ty Lee." Sokka stopped at the door. "How is it going in there? Is my sister making any progress?" Toph heard Aang moving, she assumed he was nodding.

"Most likely. You know how stubborn they both are, but your sister is the best at convincing people about doing the right thing. And she's particularly good at getting Zuko to behave."

"You know, you're right." Sokka tapped the floor with his sword. "They make a good team those two. A very balanced pair." And after leaving that hanging in the air, Sokka went back to worrying about the performance.

Eventually, Katara managed to coax Zuko out of the room. The prince sounded unhappy but determined. He even accepted that the act required the tight black pants, but on the condition that he didn't have to play the bongos or the maracas. Sokka accepted the trade off. Crisis adverted, they all headed to the Hall, were the talent contest was about to start.

The hall had been turned into an impromptu concert hall. The way it was described to her, the dais where the heads of state usually sat was turned into a stage. The judges were sitting front row, and Toph had to sit in the equivalent of the seat of honor, in the middle of the row, with Hakoda on one side and Iroh on the other. Iroh grabbed her hand when she sat, patting it and offering comfort.

"How are you holding on?" He asked her sweetly. She shrugged.

"Fine. Could be worse. This is turning into a fun exercise in an unexpected way." She felt Iroh studying her closely.

"You look very pretty." He said finally. "You glow. I hope that he, whomever he is, appreciates the love of someone like you."

She thought about denying, lying, changing the topic, running, but this was Pops after all. She missed Pops.

"Who said anything about love?" She let it drop, just to see how noticeable it was.

"Certain flowers are not good for tea unless you pluck them at the right moment and pour the water at the right time and the right temperature. But their tea is glorious if done right. You need someone who can appreciate the sweet pulp under the prickly peel."

"Iroh, your metaphors are always the same. How can June be with you still?"

"Oh, she gets entertained, believe me. Anyway, she's actually happy today. I gave her full access to all the scrolls I brought with me and promised her that she can read as much as she wants when we're back in the Fire Nation. Since she doesn't have to support herself now, as that's the core of our arrangement, she will have the time to read."

"You don't mind that she likes to be … with other people?"

"Not really. She's young and beautiful, she shouldn't limit herself to an old guy like me. And anyway, our arrangement is not about love but about companionship and … other things. She likes that I can provide and she makes me tingle. In your case, though, it will always be about love." Iroh lowered his voice. "But the right kind of love. Kuei's love is not the right kind for you. Most of the time we stumble upon the right kind, and it seldom is the one that we expected or planned. Most people don't end up with their first love, but with their deepest."

Someone on the other side of Iroh called his attention and he turned. She then heard some voices.

"_The arts, Black Dragon, we are here to appreciate the arts._"

"_Long Dragon this is not the best place for me to be right now."_

"_By Us, Black Dragon! Eat some fireflakes and shut up. I'll have a word with your Humans Anonymous Sponsor if you keep looking at the mortals like that. I swear this is the last time I invite you guys to anything fun."_

"_Don't get upset with him, Fate. He's not used to society anymore."_

Iroh turned to Toph.

"My friend, I believe we have company." He told her in a whisper. She nodded.

They were interrupted by Bato the Herald turned Announcer.

"Chief Hakoda of the Now Unified Southern Water Tribes opens the Ninth Session of the General Assembly of the First Official Peace Summit since the End of the One Hundred Year Old War Started by the Fire Nation. The First Order of Things is the Second Task of the Contest of the Frosts. The Contestants will participate in reverse order as per the points achieved yesterday. First will be Colonel Mongke and his Rough Rhinos. Second will be Master Firebender Jeong-Jeong. Third will be Avatar Aang, Champion of Kuei, the 52nd Earth King, and finally, Zuko, Crown Prince of the Fire Nation and his Team Avatar."

Polite applause filled the room.

The Rough Rhinos and Mongke were as terrible as she remembered. She realized after a minute that this was because they were performing classical Fire Nation Opera. There was just so much culture a person like Toph could handle. She did appreciate the nuances of certain type of opera, but Fire Nation's was not one of them. The excess of screeches and the lame plot of the guy who goes rampant doing stupid things quoting his honor, seemed like a bad rerun of the last five years with Sparky. The Fire Nation nationals obviously enjoyed the show. Iroh was crying at the end. The Immortals Dragons were enthusiastic, clapping. She stifled a yawn, and noticed that Chief Hakoda had been snoring quietly for the last 15 minutes. She pushed his elbow, making him lose the balance of his head and waking him up. Charity.

Jeong-Jeong did the equivalent of a circus act, which she was not able to appreciate because of the ice. He swallowed a burning sword or something like that and got fave reviews from the Fire Nation citizens in the audience. Some of the waterbenders were disgusted with the huge fire arcs melting the walls and the fire dragons eating the ice ceiling. The rest of the audience seemed to like it a lot, though. The Spirits were full of praise too.

Then it was Aang's turn. Toph was mentally prepared for the vat of cheese. If something sounded like the best way to cure an entire audience from poetry for the rest of their lives was an airbender up to his elbows in cheez-wheez. Some fan girls screamed when he came into the stage, and the foam guy cried like a baby. After some minutes, silence filled the hall, and she heard his clear voice projecting. His voice had broken a couple of years ago. The limpid soprano that he had when she met him had developed into a polished tenor. A beautiful tenor, great for whispering furtive sweet nothings in the dark.

_I was waiting for you._

_Inside and out,_

_Your words full of winter,_

_Your hands full of sun._

_High noon in my body,_

_hungry for you._

_Like earth boiling_

_under the call of the wind._

_I was longing for you,_

_a sliver of skin._

_And you came under cover _

_with a midnight song,_

_leaving me aching _

_with my broken love. _

OK, that was definitively not cheese. And the sentiment in the voice, the passion, was not cheesy. She fought between appreciation and the instinct to kick his butt all the way up to the nearest air temple. Iroh was impressed.

"That was beautiful, Avatar." He said clapping. "But short. Too short." He leaned over to talk to Hakoda. "Should we remove points for shortness?"

"Compared to the entire play that the Rough Rhinos presented, and the three different feats that Master Jeong-Jeong did, I would say yes."

Toph nodded.

"Knock points down, gentlemen, knock as many points down as possible. That monk deserves it. He's not taking you or your contest seriously, he's trying to get away with a meager stanza. Not an ode or a saga. A Contest of this caliber deserves a saga."

Hakoda seemed to take her words at face value.

"A saga, yes. If he's doing poetry, at least a saga." She heard him writing something down.

Then, it was Zuko's turn.

"I wonder how my nephew is going to fare" Iroh said in a low voice. "Master Suki came earlier asking for fire whiskey, Azula's medication and calming tea. I'm not sure but I think she was thinking about giving him all three at the same time. I gave her something different. My own Special Blend. It's called _Nervocalm. _It makes the most recalcitrant firebender get in touch with his inner fire and peace."

She heard the gasps in the audience. Some girls were screaming. Iroh was explaining things to her.

"The musicians are coming to the stage, now the girls, all of them looking quite cute with very short skirts on top of their leggings. Oh, look at that! Master Sokka just came in, he has a couple of maracas in his hands, very tight pants, yes. Where did he got that shirt with all the ruffles? Those are very colorful ruffles, yes, yes. Oh my, Corporal Chin with maracas too? Haven't seen him doing that, he always struck me more like a trombone kind of guy." A shrill scream pierced the hall, and she heard people fainting. "Oh my, my nephew just came in. How can he walk with those pants? Looks like those were painted on him. Doesn't that causes permanent damage or something? AH!!" Iroh gasped, deeply. Toph was curious.

"What happened?"

"The pants! Is that kid doing the turnip trick I taught him? I mean, do you think …? By Agni, that's not a turnip, that's him!! All him!!" Iroh sounded so impressed that Toph made a mental note to talk to Katara about it. "His mother must be so proud." She heard him wiping a tear. That was Iroh all right.

"_Did you bring the Ambrosia?"_

"_I have a full bottle."_

"_Look at Agni's kid, pure sugar I'm telling you."_

"_Look at those pants! Just like his granpa. How I miss Agni and his seven tongues of fire. That Yue, she doesn't share the love. A celestial disgrace."_

"_I have a forked tongue, I'm a Dragon."_

"_Eeewww, Black Dragon! I'm a Goddess. I know where that tongue has been. Don't even think about it."_

Well, at least the immortals seemed to be enjoying the arts. After the screams of the fans subsided, and the fainted women were removed from the hall, she heard Zuko's raspy, husky, deep voice. Obviously the _Nervocalm_ was working.

"This song is dedicated to the Earth King, from Team Avatar. It's called _Sad Dog._"

In the back, she heard the maracas and the voices of Sokka and Chin sort of singing at their beat: "_Oh, no, no, it's too sexy, too sexy!"_

And the music started. The horns, the trumpets, the guitars and the maracas, and then Zuko's voice singing. Darn, the guy was good. The music was good too, a very catchy beat. The impersonation was fantastic, and she wished she could see because the screams of the fans told her that Zuko was shaking that turnip really well.

_You ain't nothin' but a sad dog_

_cryin' all the time._

_You ain't nothin' but a sad dog_

_cryin' all the time._

_Well, you ain't never caught a girl_

_and you ain't catching no friend of mine._

_When they said you was high classed,_

_well, that was just a lie._

_When they said you was high classed,_

_well, that was just a lie._

_You ain't never caught a girl_

_and you ain't catching no friend of mine._

She could hear Sokka and Chin doing the choruses with some girls. Iroh was clapping.

"Look at Ty Lee! Wow, those movements! And my nephew, he's defying laws of physics right now! Look, look! He's throwing fire with his feet!! What's that? Some girls are throwing things at the stage! Are those ...? Oh my, I've never seen flowery underwear before, those were not around in my time!"

The immortals were excited too.

"_OOOHHHH!! I'm on Fire!!"_

"_Stop drooling on me, girl, you're putting out my cigar!!" _

Zuko was doing so well, that there was probably some fire whiskey laced right there with the _Nervocalm_.

As soon as the song was finished, the hall came down in applause and she could hear people yelling "_Bravo, bravo" _and "_Encore!_"

Zuko had to sing another song for the masses to quiet them down. This time he sang _Suspicious Minds_, and that was all that was needed for the Elders to stood up clapping and declaring him and his team the instant winner. Toph was happy. _Champ three. Sparky one hundred._

The Rough Rhinos lost the day because of their attempt at bringing culture to the South Pole. Twinkle Toes got third place and Jeong-Jeong second.

0o0o0o0o0o

After dinner Toph said goodnight to everyone and started walking towards her room, tracing the walls with her fingers. She stumbled upon someone half way through an aisle.

"How did you like your poem?" He asked. She crossed her arms.

"You're cute, but cut it with the stalking. I'm not sure I'm into it."

"It's not stalking, it's stealth. You only resent it because you're on ice."

"My poem? That was for me?"

"You inspired it."

"What about the broken heart?"

"Cover. For the world out there."

She thought for a moment.

"It was a good poem. Very passionate. You took a risk, you could have won."

"No, I knew I wouldn't. Too short. The White Lotus Elders like long, long poems. The cheese had a bigger possibility of winning, because they also love cheese."

They stayed there, silent for a moment.

"So?" She said, wondering if it would be too crude to say '_Your room or mine?'_

He sighed.

"My world seems to have shrunken to the width of your hips. You and me together is all I can think about." He was doing poetry again. She decided to set the ground rules for poetry.

"Don't say anything about taking me, I'm warning you."

"I hope that you take me."

"What's with you? Have you been eating the same food than El Tuerto? It makes sense, he's also a vegetarian."

"Well, maybe that's what I need. Food."

"I'm running away."

"I can fly, I _will_ catch you."

She ran, laughing. He gave her a head-start, and then she heard him running behind her, laughing, trying to catch her.

* * *

**_Fanart!!_**

_Gabzillaz strikes again! _

_http : / / gabzillaz dot deviantart dot com / art / Cuban-Pete-Sokka-99298220 or click in my profile for **'Cuban Sokka'.**_

_Luna-wannabe was FAST this time!!_

_http : / / luna-wannabe dot deviantart dot com / art / Zuko-as-Elvis-99481230 or click in my profile for **'Zuko-thepElvis-Tha-Prince'**.  
_

_Also by Luna37:_

_http : / / luna37 dot deviantart dot com / art / AMoH-Fate-99085475 or click in my profile for **'Spirit Fate'** under Luna37. _

_http : / / luna37 dot deviantart dot com / art / Not-thanks-to-you-99357654 __or click in my profile for '**Kuei, King of Misery'** under Luna37._

_By the way, Luna-wannabe and Luna37 are two different Lunas, two different artists, two different styles. I love them both.  
_

_Someone asked me why I put spaces in the URLs: because fanfiction deletes the URLs. Seriously. Try it and you'll see. It's the only way I can post the complete URL. _

_**Messages**_

_Bill, Will, William, Guillermo, TV2000: The intense bits, those are for you._

_Thank you Destiny's Charm for suggesting the song "I'm not gonna teach your boyfriend how to dance with you" by the Black kids. It's great. Check out the video in Youtube._

_**Tha King:** Obviously Elvis. If you want to see Zuko dancing, go to YouTube and type 'Hound Dog' and 'Jailhouse Rock', the black and white videos from the 50s, and check Elvis in his glory. Then type 'Suspicious Minds 1970'. Classics are classics for a reason. __  
_

_**Rough Rhinos Opera:** A matter of taste. But here is how I imagine they sound: Go to youtube and type Beijing Opera 'The Huarong Path'. You may like it or not. Toph doesn't. _

_**TT's poetry:** Rough translation of a poem I wrote in Foreign when I got my heart broken once. Here is the original if you read Foreign._

_Te estaba esperando,_

_por dentro y por fuera: _

_tu mirada de fuego,_

_tus palabras de abril._

_Como__ tierra caliente,_

_bajo el soplo del viento,_

_te estaba esperando_

_temblando de miedo._

_Y llegaste, mi cielo, _

_con rumores de invierno_

_medianoche en mi cuerpo_

_que gritaba calor._

_Y te fuiste muy lejos_

_y no sé si aún te espero_

_si te sigo queriendo_

_o si esto fue amor._


	24. Seventh Interlude, Tell me Stories

**XXIV. Seventh Interlude, Tell me Stories**

* * *

Tell me stories, Twinkle Toes, I love stories.

Slowly, shush, shush, just whisper in my ear.

Tell me, why are the days so long and the nights so short?

You are monk! How is it that you don't always tell the truth?

Tell me, tell me! You can whisper your secrets, I won't tell a soul.

How is it that you stop time when you kiss me?

You're over a hundred years old! But can you tell me, what does time taste like?

What did you do with your fears today?

Do you still keep that box with dreams you told me about? The one that you buried in the temple when you were a child?

What happened today T.T., that made you laugh?

Is the sky laying down again? How does it feel, to fly? Teo flies and Haru is earthbound. Do you think that's the way it works? A grounded flyer?

Am I ever going to find you on air? When you fly, I can't see you.

* * *

I'll tell you stories Sifu T. I like telling you stories.

Come closer, so I can murmur in your ear.

The nights are short because then is when we steal time from the rest of the world.

I always tell the truth. You are my pretty dainty lady and I'll save the world for you. Don't slap me, I'm telling the truth!

Every secret that I tell you, is a bit of me that I give you. Don't whisper my secrets, if you do, you give away pieces of me.

Time stops for me to kiss you, not the other way around.

Time? Time tastes like loss.

My fears are tied in a bundle. I put them under your bed. So when you are looking for hearts to break, you can look under there and find my biggest fear bundled in your hands.

I never recovered the box with my dreams. But everyday, I'm making new dreams.

I laughed with you today. Sometimes, I even laugh at you.

The sky always lays down when I fly. It's the nature of flying. But each flyer needs a reason to come back to ground.

You may not be able to find me on air, but I'll always find you on earth. Because when I fly, I _can_ see you.


	25. Third Task, Strength

_Julie, this one is for you._

* * *

**XXV. Third Task, Strength**

It was time to get up and face whatever absurd task the Elders may have come up with. Toph was sitting on the bed, and Aang was sitting behind her, his cheek on her hair, his hand on top of hers.

"I need to dress. Are you dressing me today, Twinkle Toes?" She asked.

"Yes." He answered, straightening his back.

She stood up from the bed, oblivious to her nakedness, and walked some steps until her foot felt her dress on the floor. She bent to pick it up and heard him holding his breath. She stood there, the dress in her hands, her back to him, feeling the prick of his gaze. She turned her head and offered him her profile.

"Are you going to dress me, Twinkle toes?" She asked again, but this time he didn't answer. She waited a moment.

"Do you want me to pick up my dress again, Twinkle Toes?" She asked, still offering him the profile of her face.

He uttered a strangled:

"Yes."

She extended her arm and let the dress fall back to the floor.

0o0o0o0o00o0o

They were walking towards the breakfast hall, he was holding her hand. They were having an interesting conversation.

"I'm not saying that non-violence is wrong, far from it. But you don't need to announce to the world that you don't believe in violence. Let them be afraid of what they think you can do."

"The monks used to say that victory attained by violence is the same as defeat, for it's fleeting. You see, violence is the last refuge of the unskilled."

"There won't be any violence, everything will happen inside their heads. Let them think that you're willing to use the power you have, even if you're not. They don't know that."

"So you're saying that intimidation is a good thing?"

"I'm saying that a mild dose of fear is healthy, which is different."

"Well, I object to violence because even when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary. The evil it does is permanent."

She shrugged.

"I hate to advocate fire whiskey, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." That made him laugh out loud, so she relented. A bit. "Look, I'm not going to dismember anyone. I'm just saying that burying them under the sand for three days will teach them the errors of their ways."

"But what happens if someone gets hurt? I'm not going to let anyone get hurt."

"See? That's why I'm not inviting you to my retaliatory vacation. You're going to make the entire exercise another peace summit. And it's not about peace. It's about a lesson. You know, like the ones Gods love to teach."

Aang suddenly stopped and made her turn to face him. She felt his hands on her shoulders and the prick in her neck that meant he was looking at her intently. She smiled.

"What?"

"The monks used to say that when the Gods want to punish mortals, they grant them their desires."

"Am I your punishment?" She asked amused, and felt him turning really serious.

"I … today … " He started and she knew from instinct what he was about to say. Her first reaction was joy … followed by panic. Last time someone had made an announcement to her about breaking up with a fiancé, chaos and drama had ensued. She also knew that the Gods were hopeless eavesdroppers. No secrets with the immortals, so she immediately covered his mouth with her hand.

"Shush." She said, meaning it. She felt his doubt, his feelings recoiling, uncomfortable. She knew his sensitivity to rejection, so she tiptoed and kissed him on the mouth, whispering: "Spirits will hear you." He kissed her back.

"After the task." He tried to say, but she kissed him harder, trying to shake her head indicating no. He understood. She did too. And felt really happy and really worried because in her current situation, happy endings were not like chips, they didn't go well with fish.

When they got to the breakfast hall there was a _feeling. _A feeling of dread. The Elders were waiting for her. Iroh came over and took her hand.

"Master Bei Fong, we need to talk." He said gravely and Toph felt his concern.

"Can I attend?" Aang asked. Iroh made a sound, like a doubtful "tsk-tsk".

"Avatar, you're championing the challenger." Chief Hakoda, who had gotten closer, reminded him. "There may be a conflict of interests."

"I'm perfectly capable of keeping both interests apart. I won't use any information to help my own place as the challenger's champion." Aang said resolutely.

She heard Iroh turning to Hakoda.

"The Avatar _is _the link to the Spirit World. He should be present in this conversation."

She heard Hakoda moving.

"Avatar, we trust you and that you will know how to keep the duality of your current situation from interfering with your duties."

Toph heard Aang bowing. They guided them to a separate room. She sat and could hear people around her. Among them, Hakoda, Pakku, Piandao, Bumi, Ursa, even Gran-Gran.

"Master Bei Fong" a voice that she recognized as that of Chief Arnook, from the Northern Water Tribe, said. "We have summoned you here because we need to let you know about the Third Task … and the risks."

Gran-Gran approached her.

"Yugoda, the healer from the Northern Water Tribe had a vision last night." She said, grabbing her hand.

"My child." The soft and gentle voice of a woman could be heard. "La, the Spirit of the Ocean came to me last night. He told me what the Third Task is going to be. The last time this specific task was part of the Contest of the Frosts was five hundred years ago."

"That Contest ended in tragedy." Arnook added. "For the maiden."

"OK, no disrespect here, but you're killing me with the suspense. What's the task? What's the risk?"

"The Ebi." Arnook said, and she felt a shiver in the air. "The Ebi is an ancient Demigod. It dwells in the iced waters of the Poles, and it was used to be revered by our ancestors. The relationship between our ancestors and the Ebi was a difficult one. The Ebi demanded payment once a year to refrain from destroying our villages. Our ancestors complied, but the day came that one Chief refused to pay the Ebi anymore and cried out to the skies for the protection of the Gods, and that was when La and Tui heard our claims and made the covenant with the Water Tribes. La protects us from the Ebi."

"OK. Now La is asking for the Ebi to be the Third Task?" Figures. Dammed Fish.

"Yes. La seldom does this. Last time he requested the Ebi for the task of strength, the Contest ended in tragedy."

Aang was the one to ask.

"Why? What's the danger?"

"The Ebi likes … maidens. It eats maidens. That was the payment the Water Tribes had to offer every year. The sacrifice of a maiden. The last time the Ebi was the task, it ate the maiden object of the Contest, finishing the Contest early."

Toph hid her head in arms. Stupid Twinkle Toes. He had to try to announce to her and the world that he was breaking up with his fiancée. And lo and behold, drama, tragedy and chaos. For her.

"Dear Master." Iroh said, coming close to her. "As you can imagine, we are concerned about your safety. The Ebi is not to trifle with. And it's selectively carnivorous."

"What do you mean by 'selectively carnivorous'?"

"It only likes … _real_ maidens."

This concept went through her head as fast as the memory of Twinkle Toes _fierce_ reaction that morning when she bent over again to pick up her dress. Well, that _definitively _killed all risks she could face from the Ebi.

"You mean virgins?" She asked and then she felt Gran-Gran squeezing her hand lightly … in hope. She understood quickly what this meeting was about. It was not only to warn her of the danger, it was also to put out there their wish that she may not be in danger after all. But Toph grew up in an aristocratic household full of gossipy servants and idle women. Dammed if she was about to let anyone here know that she was not a tasty morsel for nasty Ebis. The South Pole was still a village after all and news fly fast in a village.

"What am I going to do?" She exclaimed in panic, raising her hands to her face, her eyes filling to the brim with tears. "That thing is going to eat me alive! Pops!" She turned to Iroh, real sincerity breaking through her voice "I don't deserve to die just because … of this!" She hid her head in her hands. Iroh was patting her back.

"Dear, dear, we will think of something." He sounded really worried now, which was a good thing. She was a good actress.

She heard Aang's voice

"She won't be in danger." He said resolutely and for a second she wanted to kill him. Then he added: "La personally promised me that she wouldn't die in this Contest. I'm sure the Ebi won't try to eat her. La gave his word."

"But putting a real maiden in front of the Ebi, that's risky." Master Pakku said, full of concern.

"It's true Twinkle Toes. An innocent like me in front of a sea monster? Why don't you give me some meat pants to wear instead? Here, here Ebi look at me and my meat pants!" Toph waved her hands.

"Toph, I'm taking this seriously." Aang sounded stern, but she could pick up a faint layer of mirth underneath. "I'm not minimizing the dire situation you're in." Yep, he was probably trying not to crack up laughing.

"Master Bei Fong, we don't have a choice." Chief Hakoda came closer and put a hand on her shoulder. "We wanted to let you know because we need to offer you to the Ebi as a sacrifice. La personally requested it. The suitors will try to save you from the Ebi. Whomever succeeds, wins the task."

"When you say to offer me as a sacrifice … you mean…?"

"We need to chain you to a rock in the middle of the sea, the sacrificial rock, and then the Ebi will come for you."

Toph added the facts in her head: (1) rock; plus (2) metal chains; plus (3) Twinkle Toes enthusiasm during the last couple of days equals 'that Ebi won't know what hit it'.

"I'm an earthbender and a metalbender." She told the Elders. "I may be able to defend myself when that Ebi tries to eat me."

"Well, the idea is for the suitors to save you…" Pakku started but Gran-Gran shut him up.

"Shut up, Pakku. Don't you dare tell the Virgin that she cannot defend herself from that primitive chauvinist lobster just because of this primeval Contest." Married life was probably teaching Master Pakku new words from the dictionary. He was right now learning the letter W.

"Lobster?" Toph and Aang asked at the same time.

"The Ebi is an ancient giant lobster. That's what the word Ebi means." Yugoda explained. "The Ebi got upset with our ancestors because we used to eat his children. In return, he started eating ours and then developed a real taste for maidens. Seems like nothing taste better than unspoiled, untouched flesh. Our ancestors reached a truce with the Ebi: no more lobster fishing, and a maiden every year."

Toph thought about the fact that the Ebi restrictions hadn't reached the Earth Kingdom and was very happy at all those lobster medallions she ate while living with her parents.

"The Ebi is ruthless and has special powers." Arnook said darkly.

"Sounds like the Ebi is an extortionist and a bully. I've seen its kind before. They usually like looking like seafood." Toph said seriously. She turned to Aang. "After this contest I'm giving up fish and seafood for good, unless I'm eating it as celebratory revenge." He put a hand on her shoulder.

"Well, the Virgin has accepted to participate." Pakku was saying. "We should probably announce the Third Task to the suitors, and start preparations for taking the Virgin to the rock."

Virgin was not better than Object of the Contest, but then Toph thought that she shouldn't be the only one being exposed this way to the world.

"What are the risks for the suitors?" She asked suddenly.

"I beg you pardon, Master?" Hakoda asked.

"Does the Ebi only like maidens or Does it like virgins? They are not the same. What happens if one of the suitors is a virgin too?"

She felt all the glazes moving from her towards … Aang.

"The Ebi likes … we don't know. It's a good question. Usually, only the maiden is a virgin. The situation of the virgin champ … sorry, suitor is not clear." She felt the concern and pity from the Elders now focusing on Aang. His hand on her shoulder felt heavier. He was probably trying to act too, and he was usually a lousy actor. He was a charmer, but a lousy actor. But maybe not that bad, because she suddenly heard (with her amazing hearing) Gran-Gran mumbling very low under breath. "_I knew it! That girl is outletting somewhere else._"

"Avatar Aang, do not concern yourself." Iroh was being paternal. "We are sure that with your powers you will be able to fend from … any special interest the Ebi may have in you. And you my dear friend," Iroh said turning to her. "You bend that rock really, really hard and don't let that Ebi even smell you. There are no rules in this Contest, so you can defend yourself, OK? And La will protect you, he gave his word."

Toph knew better than to trust a fish. But she trusted herself and that, for once, luck would have that neither she, nor Aang, would be in danger from the lobster.

They Elders left the room to start preparing for the announcement of the third task. She stayed where she was, when she felt his fingers, still on her shoulder, squeezing. She heard him leaning closer to her ear.

"And that was because …?"

"Because when that thing is spitting me and my honor in public, I refuse to be the only one facing the embarrassment."

"Your honor and mine. Let's take luck where we find it, at least it won't try to eat either of us."

"Hopefully."

"What do you mean, hopefully?"

"It's not like any of us knows a lot, you know. So, hopefully."

He sounded affronted.

"I've been … having conversations. I know stuff now. So, not Hopefully, but Certainly."

She slid a finger up and down his staff.

"You _certainly_ need to lose this one, OK?"

"Not promising anything until you change the conditional in the _hopefully._"

"Uuuyyy! Who's touchy now? It wasn't me who was asking for a roadmap the other night. _Over here, Sifu T? Like this Sifu T?_"

"Maybe, but it was not me the one who was threatening to kill me if I stopped, and _then _offered her firstborn if I kept doing what I was doing."

"You know? Things said on those conditions are said under duress. It's not like they're binding or anything."

"Nope. Not promising you anything. You know my conditions."

"OK! I remove the conditional _and _the hopefully."

"And?"

"And I leave the certainly, and underline it."

She felt his smile when he kissed her forehead.

"OK, I'll lose this one for you."

0o0o0o0o0o

They came into the hall when Bato was starting the announcement of the Third Task.

"Chief Hakoda of the Now Unified Southern Water Tribes opens the Tenth Session of the General Assembly of the First Official Peace Summit since the End of the One Hundred Year Old War Started by the Fire Nation. The First Order of Things is the Announcement of the Third Task of the Contest of the Frosts. Being the Second Task declared won by suitor Zuko, Crown Prince of the Fire Nation. The remainder suitors are Master Firebender Jeong-Jeong and Kuei, 52nd Earth King, represented by his Champion, Avatar Aang The Last Airbender. Suitor Colonel Mongke and his Rough Rhinos retired from the contest after losing the second task."

Hakoda addressed the hall.

"The Third Task is Strength. La, the Spirit of the Ocean, manifested itself last night to the Elder Yugoda Water Tribe, Respected Master Healer from the North. La requests for the Task of Strength to offer the Maiden Object of the Contest, Great Master Bei Fong, as a sacrifice to the Demigod The Ebi." Toph heard the Water Tribes in the hall holding their collective breath. "The Ebi likes to eat maidens and we are all aware of the risk this represents for the Virgin Great Master Bei Fong. This makes this task particularly challenging as the performance of the suitors is not about points but about survival in this occasion. The task is for the suitors to save the Virgin Maiden from the Ebi. The Ebi is a powerful and fearsome foe. To comply with tradition, we will tie the Maiden to a sacrificial rock in the middle of the sea, call on the The Ebi and let the task begin. We will all be watching the performance of the task from the shore. May the strongest win."

Toph felt the dread in the hall, and the prick of hundreds of eyes on her. She felt really uncomfortable.

"Avatar!" She recognized Kuei's voice next to her. "A word!" Aang walked to where Kuei was. She overheard part of the conversation.

"_Avatar, you need to win this one. My advisor Hama explained to me what the Ebi is and does. Master Bei Fong will be eaten in seconds._"

"_Master Bei Fong is a powerful bender, Earth King. I'm sure she'll able to defend herself if the Ebi gets to the rock before the suitors do._"

"_You don't understand Avatar, the Ebi has powers and it can smell virgins on a one hundred-mile radius. I know the Master well, she's never even been kissed. The Ebi won't be able to resist. If she's in the rock, she'll be eaten._"

"Toph!" Katara's and Suki's voices made her jump, distracting her from Kuei's and Aang's conversation. "Toph, we are worried! You know what the Ebi is?"

"Relax guys, the Ebi is not going to eat you. You can rescue me." She answered assuredly.

"It's not us we are worried about!" _(Ah, yes, right.)_

"Oh by earth, what am I going to do? I'm going to die!!"

Katara was suspicious.

"You're not taking this seriously." She said, distrustful.

Toph shrugged.

"You heard the Fish give his word to Twinkle Toes. I'm not dying in this Contest. Besides, I'll be on a rock. The Ebi is used to virginal water tribe girls, not to awesome _virginal_ earth-metal benders. I'll be having sushi for dinner tonight."

Katara was not convinced.

"You don't know the legends, you don't know the Ebi." She said ominously.

"I just heard Kuei saying that if I've never been kissed the Ebi will go nuts. I've been kissed, twice, that should reduce the risk I think." Her math oriented mind was multiplying the kiss factor by Twinkle Toes hormones times her own eagerness times the amount of hours in the last weeks and the final numbers were very encouraging.

She heard Sokka and Zuko coming over.

"This is very bad." Sokka was saying, his voice dark. "The Ebi is a demigod, and a bad one."

"What do you mean, demigod?" Suki asked innocently.

"It means 'half-god'. It means that one parent of the Ebi was a god and the other parent was human." This sunk in.

"Why does it look like a lobster, then?" Suki asked.

"Its father is a foreign god that is half fish, and the mother was a water tribe maiden with a sweet tooth for lobsters. Seems like the Water Tribe maiden would only eat lobster during the pregnancy. Oral tradition tells us that the pregnancy lasted _years_. This is common with divinity pregnancies or something. Anyway, she ate a lot of lobster during those years and ended up giving birth to a demigod crustacean."

"You mean, the Ebi eats its mother's relatives?" Zuko shuddered.

"Well, the water maiden did not survive childbirth. Something about giving birth to an exoskeleton animal with claws did not agree with her. She became a cautionary tale for frolicking with gods. The Ebi grew up by itself, at the bottom of the sea. Never interacted with his mother's side of the family. Never developed emotional attachments sort to speak."

Toph thought about all this. The Ebi was La's half brother. She burrowed her eyebrows. La's father, that guy got passed around more than a copper piece.

"I swear guys, I love you but I'm never, never, ever coming back to the South Pole for a vacation." She promised Sokka and Katara. She heard Zuko very, very small, tiny, miniscule, infinitesimal voice, on a frequency so low that only her and a couple of bats could figure it out: '_Me neither'. _

"Katara." Sokka said suddenly. "You cannot participate in this task. The Ebi will try to eat you too." Silence filled the group.

"Sokka." Katara said tiredly. "Don't even try it. If Toph is risking her life because of this Contest, I'm risking mine. It's that simple."

"But Sis, you are particularly at risk. Like Toph. Like Aang. We shouldn't tempt the Ebi. I'm worried."

Suki felt obligated to add:

"Sokka, it's not that I harbor any kind of illusion regarding my reputation, but your concern for your sister's life and not mine will make it particularly hard for me to avoid gossip."

Sokka suddenly realized the situation.

"Ah, yes. Should we leave you two here, then?"

"Facing a lobster in the middle of the ocean that it's about to eat one of our best friends merits the presence of the best waterbender available." Zuko said. "We cannot let Toph die. Katara must come."

Toph heard Sokka tapping his chin. She also heard Aang coming over.

"The Earth King is really worried." Aang said offhandedly. "He's concerned because the Ebi gets particularly lively at the prospect of a maiden that had never been kissed. I told him that Toph will be on rock, her element, and that La gave his word that no harm will come to her."

Sokka's brain seemed to have reached a decision. He intervened.

"Legend says that the Ebi can read minds. Maybe that's the way to fool the lobster. You guys need to think naughty thoughts and make the Ebi believe those are memories."

Silence.

"You mean, they need to make the lobster believe that _fantasies_ are memories?" Suki broke the silence.

"Well, yeah. All they need is a good dose of imagination. Before meeting you, my imagination always took the better of me. But then you came and saved me from myself. They need to let their imagination fly." He stopped for a second. "I mean, monks are allowed fantasies, aren't they?" He then considered something else. "Do girls fantasize too?" He gasped. "Katara, stop thinking about _that_ right now!"

"Thank you for the tip, Sokka." Katara sighed. "I don't know what we would do without you."

"It's not a bad idea." Zuko intervened and grabbed Toph's hand. "Champ, you need to think hard about those romance scrolls, try to imagine yourself in the role of the heroine. I know it will be weird thinking about such stuff when you are tied to a rock waiting for a lobster, but anything helps. Promise me that you will think naughty thoughts." Zuko kissed her hand. "Very naughty."

She felt Katara shifting the weight of her feet, and Aang suddenly getting closer and touching her elbow lightly.

"Toph, you need to go." He said, his voice neutral. Zuko wasn't letting go of her hand.

"Champ, we will save you." He said and hugged her. A bear hug. "You won't die because you're innocent."

Aang grabbed her sleeve this time.

"Toph, the Elders need to take you to the rock. Zuko, she will be on a rock. She's the world's greatest earthbender. La gave his word. The odds are not that bad. Let. Go. Of her." Zuko kissed her hair before letting her go. Aang was now grabbing her arm.

"Hey Aang," Sokka reminded him. "You too need to think naughty stuff and please remember that you're not supposed to win."

"I will try not to. Do you want me to be late? I can go somewhere with Appa, give you guys enough time and then show up at the end for a reasonable effort." His fingers were squeezing her elbow now.

"That sounds like a plan." Sokka said. Aang made a slight bow and started walking, practically dragging her.

"Naughty thoughts?" He was muttering. "I'll give you naughty thoughts!" When they were out of earshot and out of sight, he was still walking, looking for something.

"What are you looking for?" She asked before she heard him opening a door and pushing her inside a confined space. Ah, yes, a closet. He grabbed her shoulders and kissed her. Nothing tender about the kiss.

"I'll give you a memory to throw at the Ebi." He said. "You. This morning. Your face against furs, your fists grabbing the bedding. Me at your back, and then you turned your head for me to kiss you, which I did, grabbing your hair." His voice suddenly mellowed, but by now her arms were covered with goose bumps. Good ones. "You're beautiful." He said, caressing her hair and face. "Your skin, it's like alabaster. When I make love to you, I feel like I'm sculpting ivory." Poetry. He started kissing her again. "Your mouth. I like watching you eat. I want to be what you eat." He pinned her arms above her head. "You let me tie you this morning." Ah, yes, they found another use for the discarded blindfold. "And all I wanted was for you to _feel_ me." She had felt his poetry alright.

"Calm down, Twinkle Toes." She smiled. "Only you will be in my naughty thoughts today."

"Promise?"

"Not promising anything until you tell me what you're going to do to me tonight."

"The way my imagination is going, that Ebi won't get close to neither you nor me."

They heard voices outside the closet.

"Where's the Virgin?" Master Pakku was asking. "Do you think she got scared and ran away?"

"That girl is not the running kind." Gran-Gran was saying. "She's a brave Virgin."

"Kanna, I know you're worried. About the Virgin, about Katara, even about the Avatar. These kids, they can defend themselves."

"I'm so _not _worried about Katara right now, Pakku." Gran-Gran said with finality, the voices getting lost as they walked farther away.

They stepped out of the closet. Twinkle Toes was still all worked up, subject to his own, overwhelming emotions, so much that the comment about Katara eluded him completely, at least for now.

"Let's go, I'll escort you to the Elders." He said, grabbing her elbow.

0o0o0o0o0o

The Elders took the sacrificial concept seriously. Yugoda and Gran-Gran clad her in a dress that Yugoda described as traditionally virginal. She could feel the layers of soft fabric, that felt sheer to the touch, with a tight bodice and a fur trim around an open collar. Somehow they had managed to weave a crown of leaves and lichen (no flowers in sub zero temperatures), and brushed her hair loose, falling down her back, with the crown on her head.

"It's the idea to make me more appetizing?" Toph asked, when they were lacing the tight bodice. "Because I don't think the lobster will care about the wrapping, you know."

"It's tradition." Yugoda said.

"Stupid tradition." Gran-Gran added. Gran-Gran was Toph's kind of grandma: a natural born rebel. "Only boy's clubs like the one my husband belongs to can come up with traditions like this one." They stepped back to look at her.

"You're such a pretty child." Yugoda said with sadness.

"She's a strong, lobster-kicking child. Don't forget that." Gran-Gran corrected, fixing the crown on her head. "Let's go."

When Yugoda turned her back and started walking Gran-Gran did something unexpected. She slipped something cold and thin, that felt like metal, inside Toph's wool glove. "_Trust for the best but be prepared but the worst_." The older tribe woman whispered in her ear. Toph nodded.

Toph walked among the two elder women who escorted her to Hakoda and Arnook. Chief Hakoda wrapped her in a fur coat that felt soft and luscious to the touch. "_White furs for the white Virgin_"she heard someone from the crowd say and she felt a shiver in the air. Dammed Kuei for making her the center of all this freaking attention. If she wanted this, she would have joined the circus instead of the Avatar. Runaways are supposed to keep low profiles, not become protagonists. Toph raised her chin, and stepped out flanked by the two chiefs and walked with determination to the small harbor on the other side of the outer village to step into a Water Tribe boat.

The trip to the sacrificial rock was uneventful and cold. The iced breeze made her shiver within her furs. Soon she felt the boat docking and Hakoda and Arnook came to get her and helped her disembark. She immediately felt the substance of her element under her boots. She smiled, feeling powerful out of a sudden. With quick movements she removed her gloves, carefully putting Gran-Gran's metal pin, key or whatever it was in her mouth, and then she removed her winter boots. As soon as she felt the rock against her feet she saw clearly around her. The rock was that, a rock, raising in the middle of the sea, the surf of the ocean waves slamming against its sides. It was not big, but a good size, a small, bare island. There was a natural formation that resembled a wall, and she could see with her feet the iron shackles hanging from chains meant for her wrists.

Chief Hakoda put a hand on her back and gently guided her to the wall. He kissed her hand elegantly and muttered "_Please forgive me for what I'm going to do, my child_" before raising her arms and shackling her wrists. She found herself standing on the rock, her wrists manacled and felt angry and exposed at the same time. This was very different from the games she had been playing before with silk scarves. Those games now felt almost childlike, playful diversions that dissolved in kisses, where she could trust blindly, no pun intended, both herself and her lover. This, on the other hand, felt sordid. Maybe because of all those Maidens that had died before her or maybe because of the presumption of weakness. "_Only men could think of offerings like this._" She thought. Well, not all men. She could clearly picture TT's reaction and anger if he got to see her, or anyone for that matter, like this.

Chief Arnook came over and made a gesture to another Water Tribe warrior, who took out a big horn with a twisted shape and blew the horn three times. The sound of the horn was uncanny. Like a low growl, a song of distress calling over the noise of the waves. The water Tribe warriors then saluted, Hakoda and Arnook both took their leave, the former mumbling his "_I am so sorry_" apology for the umpteenth time since Kuei invoked the Contest, and she saw and heard them walking back to the boat and departing.

She was left alone on the rock, waiting. She moved her wrists experimentally, touching the chains with her fingers and concentrated in feeling the metal to bend it. She could feel all the components of the iron, the bits of lumps and earth calling to her. She smiled, moving her fingers and … nothing. Toph was surprised. She tried again. The metal was not budging. She burrowed her brow. She stomped her feet and realized that the rock was not responding either. She could _see, _which meant her senses were fine. She could feel the composition of the rock and the metal, so her bending was there. But neither the rock, nor the chains or the shackles were responding to her. Fear slapped her in the face, like a physical blow, when she realized that her bending was gone.

"Dammit!" She thought in panic, trying to remember if anyone had specified what _kind_ of special powers the Ebi had. She quickly retrieved Gran-Gran's pin from her mouth. "Stupid rock!" She screamed at her element. That was a first for her, she had never screamed or insulted her element before. She loved it too much. "Stupid rock you are so not _my precious_ anymore!!" She threatened, livid, trying to unlock her manacles. That was when she heard _it_. It sounded like when Katara and Twinkle Toes bended the water in an ice slide. A swish sound that muted the rage of the waves, but that encompassed it anyway. It was getting closer and then, it hit shore. And from her chained place in the rock, even if distracted with her frenzied movements trying to open the manacles with the metal pin, she saw it. A huge, ominous, walking lobster, standing in supine position on very unnerving legs that looked … human, with human feet. The lobster sported big claws, which would open and close in anticipation. _Eager_ anticipation. The smell of seaweed and marine life hit her nose. Sea monsters did not favor flowery scents, obviously.

"_A Virgin." _She heard the voice in her head. It was a rusty voice, not used to talking. The words came out with difficulty, as if its owner had to think hard to form coherent thoughts. The Ebi could read her mind, but she could also see the mind of the Ebi. And it was a scary, horrible mind. A mind of solitude and resentment, with no space for humor or love. Not even for sarcasm, and you have to be pretty far gone not to have any space left for sarcasm.

"Go away, you horrible crawfish!" She yelled at the animal, still trying to open the manacles. "I'm not a virgin! I taste horrible!" The lobster stopped advancing, the opening and closing of the claws subsiding for a moment. Toph felt doubt creeping in the monster's mind.

"_A Virgin." _It repeated, like convincing itself. "_You smell virginal._"

"If I'm a Virgin you're a beauty contest winner!" She screamed back. _Click. _One shackle was opened. She had managed to open one, _yai_! Toph frantically started with the other manacle, while trying to conjure at the same time all the memories of Twinkle Toes poetry, trying to drown the Lobster with them. Well, taking into account the terror she was feeling, she wasn't really focusing in the poetic part but more on the raw mechanics of it. She actually stopped for a second, surprised at how tawdry she could make the memories when they were anything but. Whatever, T.T. would have plenty of time to fix the romance if she managed to survive.

The lobster staggered under the onslaught of naughty thoughts. But somehow, it raised its ugly head, moved its scary antennae, and clicking its claws like happy _castañuelas _repeated.

"_No, no, can't deceive me. You are a Virgin._"

"Aaarrggghhhh!!" Toph yelled and then _Click _the second manacle was open. She threw herself on the ground just in time before the claw closed in the space she had been occupying a second ago. "You stupid Lobster!! You don't get it? I know all about the rules of sea monsters trying to eat Maidens! I'm supposed to be a Virgin and you're supposed to go away if I'm not!" Captain Yin was a decent man that always took the opportunity to try to read her the classics, unlike Chin who never went beyond the raunchy. Toph used to complain about his goods intentions, but the result was that she knew all the stories about dragons, treasures, Krakens, and whatnots and the rules in the stories were simple: you get a maiden chained to a rock, she's supposed to be a Maiden. But either the lobster was dense, or it was so hungry that it didn't care.

"_Virgin!_" The Lobster roared, still one track mind. She then heard Zuko's and Sokka's voices.

"EBI!! HERE!!" Someone jumped next to her and dragged her from her position almost under the lobster to the other side of the rock wall. She recognized the smell of cinders and disenchantment, Master Jeong-Jeong.

"Great Master!" The White Lotus Master panted. "I can't bend! What about you?" She shook her head in desperation. She could see with her feet Sokka and Zuko trying to distract the lobster away from her. Zuko would jump like a cat branding the dao swords, and Sokka would attack the rearguard of the crustacean pinching the shell with his space sword. She saw Suki running towards the lobster, fans out. Someone somersaulted next to her. Ty Lee.

"Katara's bending went away just when we were about to reach the rock and we all got wet!" Ty Lee exclaimed next to her. Somehow, Ty Lee was not complaining, just narrating. "We had to swim here!"

"My boat is on the other side of the rock." Jeong Jeong informed them. "But the Ebi is gigantic and it won't let go until it has the Great Master."

They all could hear the lobster bellow: "_My Virgin!!_"trying to reach the rock wall.

A scream, Katara's from the sound of it, accompanied a swiping motion from the Lobster's claw that sent Zuko flying in the air and into the water. Toph saw Katara jump in the water after Zuko. Suki, who had leaped to the top of the rock wall, hopped to the head of the lobster, trying to stick a fan into a beady eye.

"Where the hell is Aang with Appa?" Sokka screamed, sticking the space sword in one of the Lobsters disturbing looking human feet. The Lobster howled in pain, swiping Sokka to the sea with a motion of its claw, while trying to shake Suki from its head. Ty Lee somersaulted next to the animal, pried Sokka's sword away and tried to stick it in its other foot. Jeong Jeong grabbed Toph's hand.

"Great Master, you need to run. We can try to make it to the boat and pray hard that our bending comes back when we are away from this rock!"

She nodded in desperation and saw the old fire-master drawing a sword too. They started running away from the cover of the rock wall. The lobster saw her and she heard Suki's and Ty Lee's yells when they too were swiped to the sea. The Lobster was chasing them. Jeong Jeong stopped to face the lobster, sword in hand. "Run Master, run! I'll distract the Ebi!" He yelled and she started running to where the boat was supposed to be while she could see with her feet the old master running towards the Ebi, sword in hand, trying to chop off one of its eerie feet. She heard his grunt when the Lobster went after him with vengeance for getting in the way of its prey. She had almost made it to the shore when she felt the Lobster again almost on top of her.

"_My Virgin!_" It said with relish and something else, that sounded almost like … affection. And that was one thousand times scarier than hatred. She could see that the lobster was limping, and could smell the fishy scent of its blood, probably oozing from the human legs. She gagged, trying not to throw up, and scuttled away, on her hands and feet, while one of the Lobster's small arms tried to grab her leg.

A sudden gust of wind knocked the lobster down, sending it several feet away from her. Aang fell in front of Toph, between herself and the lobster, staff in one hand, his palm touching the ground, his feet in landing position.

"Away Ebi!" He yelled, jumping again, airbending while bending the rock under their feet to knock the lobster down on its back again. Well, shell. Whatever. This was not the moment to be accurate about a lobster's physique. It took her a second to realize that Aang was _bending. _While all the rest couldn't, he could. Toph, however, was so happy to see him that didn't felt like begrudging him his bending at this particular moment. The Lobster, however, realized that this opponent meant business and could actually take its quarry away.

"_MY VIRGIN!! MINE!!_" Shrieked the animal jumping to its feet and trying to throw itself at Aang.

"Toph, BEND!" Aang screamed at her, while throwing a ball of fire to the colossal crustacean, before the animal almost knocked the Avatar down with its smaller arms.

"I CAN'T" She yelled back, crawling away. "None of us can!" Aang muttered something in frustration while quickly bending her away from where she was by way of a column of rock that served as a shield.

"Zuko, Sokka!" Aang yelled to the friends, who had made it back to shore. "Take Appa, take everyone away from here!" The other two were running towards them, swords out. She saw the old master lying unconscious on the ground and Katara and Ty Lee tending to him, raising him between the two of them, while Suki ran to catch the whistle Aang was throwing away. Toph couldn't see Appa flying towards them, but she heard the Lobster roaring, trying to bat away something in the air with its claws.

"Tuerto, the eyes!" Aang called, and Toph realized that the entire team had made it to the island. Toph hugged her rock, still trying to hide from the obsessed lobster. She also realized that Aang was trying to stir the lobster back to the sea, but the Ebi was having none of it.

"_My Virgin, My Sacrifice!" _It pushed Aang with a claw, and with a swipe of its tail worthy of Appa in a bad mood, it blew Zuko and Sokka away again.

"Toph!" Suki's scream filled the sky above her head. The Kyoshi warrior must be steering Appa. Toph realized that she couldn't see Katara, Ty Lee or Jeong Jeong anymore, so she assumed that they were on Appa too. She stood up, raising her arms and someone grabbed her hand and she jumped from her column onto Appa's back. Next to her, she heard Katara.

"My bending is back! Quickly, I need to heal Jeong-Jeong!" Toph felt the soothing effect of Katara's water next to her. Suki, meanwhile was steering Appa in circles.

"The Ebi is going crazy! Aang is running around it creating a vortex of wind and earth! Look, he just bent that thing in the water!" Toph heard the massive splash and droplets of sea water rained on top of them. "Aang is now running on top of the water, freezing it! He's creating like a cyclone of water and wind surrounding the animal."

Katara yelled next to her:

"Ty Lee, bandage Master Jeong Jeong! Suki, steer closer to Aang, I'll try to help!" Toph heard Katara moving with purpose.

"Katara, that was soo cool!!" Ty Lee gushed. "She just threw like a million ice daggers to that thing!"

"Zuko and Sokka just jumped on the back of that thing swords out!" Suki yelled too, the ultimate fangirl "By Kyoshi, they are so daring! Uh, Uh, CAREFUL!! Lobster at four o'clock!" The splash she heard forebode bad things for Zuko and Sokka. Suki suddenly went south with Appa to try to get them out of the water. Ty Lee and Katara had barely locked arms with the guys helping them jump on top of Appa too when suddenly, they heard a cry.

"_VIRGINS!! VIRGINS!! MY TWO VIRGINS!!" _And Toph felt the presence of the Lobster trying to reach Appa with a claw, and Aang sending it into oblivion with such a gust of wind that it also send Appa the other way. Suki steered Appa up, going as high as possible away from the Ebi, while trying to figure out what was going on. Katara, meanwhile, bended the freezing water from everyone's clothes and Zuko, his bending back as well, blew hot steam on everyone.

"Look at Aang!" Sokka was saying, all admiration and wonder. "He has the Lobster upside down now! And he's opening a hole in the middle of the ocean, bending the water away, and he's parting the sand, digging a deeper hole! Wow! he's dumping the thing on it! Katara, that was COOL!! My sister just sent an ice cage to lock that thing in! Yeeeessssss!! Look, he's even bending the sand in the cage! Wow, Aang did all this without even glowing!" Toph threw herself on top of Appa. She moved her fingers and her space bracelet changed shapes. Her bending was back too. She noticed that her hands were wet, and took her a moment to realize that they smelled like blood.

"Suki!" Toph yelled. "Go back! My bending is back and there's something I need to do!" Suki groaned, but steered Appa back to the rock. Toph concentrated from top of Appa, assessed where the noises of the lobster were coming from, bent a boulder and then shot it like a cannon in the direction of the Lobster. She heard a "_Thud!_".

"TAKE THAT YOU SHRIMP!! WITH ETERNAL LOVE FROM YOUR VIRGIN!!" She yelled at the open space she couldn't see.

"Darn! That must have hurt!' Sokka yelled, jumping. "That lobster just took a strong one to the head!"

Toph smiled and cracked her knuckles. She flinched in pain.

"Toph, you're hurt." Katara said and moved closer to her, starting to heal her knees, hands and feet with her water, all of which were cut and bleeding from scuttling around in the sharp rock. Toph hadn't even feel it.

"The Great Master is safe." She heard the White Lotus Master say, regaining consciousness, relief in his voice. "That's what's important."

"Master, thank you." Toph said sincerely, touching the brave gentleman's hand. "You faced that thing alone and without your bending to give me a chance. I'm honored." She felt Suki's and Katara's embarrassment also. She knew that never again they would refer to him as _creepy. _

"Everyone was so brave!" Ty Lee jumped excitedly. "Sokka you were _awesome!_ With your sword and your jumping, I've never seen you look so hawt! WOW!!" Sokka sounded bashful when he said "_It was nothing_" and Toph heard Suki snorting.

Suki landed Appa on the snow, and she heard people running towards them. Someone grabbed her by the arm, and realizing that she had no shoes on, suddenly carried her in his arms. Sokka. As proud as a papa bear.

"What's going on?" Toph asked, anxious. Damn! Being blind on water and ice was the pits!

"Aang is subduing the Ebi. He made a cage with rock and sand and the Ebi is screaming on it. That kid, he is so _powerful_. Ah, and the chicken is like going _firenation _on the lobster. Trying to eat it or something. Maybe trying to make another one-eyed monster to join his club of _tuertos_."

"What's the chicken doing here?" Suki asked.

"No idea. Maybe it's back from its mission or something. Momo is at the stables, decorating his love nest. I saw him this morning."

Sokka deposited Toph, who could just picture herself all disheveled and battered, on top of a sleigh. Someone covered her with a thick fur and put a hot cup of fire whiskey in her hand. She recognized the smell of lilies and the firm ethereal hands of the Lady Ursa. She smiled in silent thanks and gulped the drink down like a shot. She heard people talking, screaming and finally the 'swooosh' that meant Aang was back. She heard him and felt his anger before anybody had time to say anything.

"Chief!" Aang called, probably to Arnook, probably Hakoda, (who knew?) with purpose. "Why weren't we informed that the Ebi could take bending away? All of my friends almost died!"

Toph heard the Chiefs and the Elders debating something and could feel on the sleigh the vibrations of their bodies, moving, shifting.

"We had no idea that the Ebi had such powers, Avatar!" Chief Hakoda said, upset. "If we had known we would have let all of you know! This Contest is painful enough without us concealing things like that!"

This did not assuage the angry monk.

"It makes no sense! You all knew that the Ebi had special powers, why were we not informed of the kind of powers?'

"The Ebi can read minds, call on gigantic waves and bend tsunamis, we did not know about suppressing bending abilities!" Chief Arnook defended. "Why would we hide something like this?"

Silence fell on the snow, like a weight as powerful as the cold. Toph nudged the Lady Ursa for more fire whiskey and the lady obliged.

Chief Hakoda recovered some of his composure.

"We should be grateful to the Spirits that everyone is alive and in one piece." He said with a sigh. "The Avatar won this task. Hands down. He saved everyone's lives so he gets awarded extra points."

"I shouldn't win. They could not bend, I had an advantage." The ethical monk said.

There was some whispering in the crowd and then the voice of Lu Shi.

"It's not the Avatar's fault, or the Earth King's, that the Ebi chose not to remove his powers. That was the Ebi's decision. It should not affect the outcome of the task."

"Avatar, the counselor is right. You won, there's nothing else to it. I'm sorry." Chief Hakoda sounded tired.

"That, Chief Hakoda," Lu Shi continued, "means a draw. Between the Earth King and the Fire Prince. How are we going to solve the draw?"

Toph heard Lady Ursa's secret boyfriend sigh in disgust. Chief Hakoda obviously despised the Contest and was not bothering to conceal his annoyance anymore.

"The way draws get solved." He said ill-humored. "A fourth task."

"What kind of task?" Lu Shi pressed. Toph nudged the Fire Mom again. The Lady Ursa instead of serving her more fire whiskey, took the cup away and gave her the flask. Good Lady!

"A duel, between the Earth King and the Fire Prince. Its that task good enough for you?"

"What kind of a duel? In the Earth Kingdom duels are Earth Rumble confrontations. But this is the Fire Prince facing the Earth King's champion, who's also a firebender. As challengers, we call for an Agni Kai."

"You don't call for anything, you creep!" The Fire Whiskey started talking on its own. With Good Adjectives and Everything. Good Fire Whiskey. "You should call for a better wig maker, you repulsive … ugly … attorney!" What the Fire Whiskey had in good grammar it lacked in eloquence, though.

"Regardless of the Great Master's lively opinion, the Earth King does have the right as the challenger to choose how to break the draw."

"Whatever!" Hakoda waived Lu Shi with a gesture. Hakoda was a warrior. Talk to him in terms of drawn swords and honorable causes. Forget attorneys. "Avatar, Fire Prince, please, choose. A draw. What kind of duel?"

"Agni Kai." Zuko said.

"Agni Kai." Aang assented. "But not to the death. What does the Water Tribes mean by '_There can be only one_'? I'm not chopping anyone's head off, and I'm not putting the balance of the world in peril by sacrificing the well being of the heir to the fire throne."

"Same here. I'm not burdening my family's already heavy karma by harming the only airbender that survived my great-grandfather."

Chief Hakoda breathed deeply.

"Let's make this fair. Two out of three. First one to go down two times loses the Agni Kai. My daughter and Yugoda Water Tribe will be on call to heal any wounds from the Agni Kai. Also, no lightening allowed. This is not the Fire Nation. We don't need to go all the way."

Fire Whiskey heard the monk and Sparky nodding. The people around her were talking.

"_So, did the Ebi try to eat Aang?_" Sokka asked.

"_Of course it did. Like … all the time._" Katara answered, but some doubt was laced with the affirmation.

"_It was claiming all its Virgins at the end. Poor Ebi._" Sokka insisted.

The person holding the flask drank deeply, finishing the drink to the last drop. Fire Whiskey felt better. She also felt how someone was checking on the person who was holding the flask.

"Are you OK, Toph?" Katara asked concerned. Suki, next to her was trying to pry the flask away.

"Toph, Toph, I think you're in shock!" Fire Whiskey heard people coming over.

"Hard to tell with a blind person if she's in shock or not. It's not like you can look at her eyes and tell." Sokka said.

"She's in shock. She's trembling and she's not letting go of the flask." Suki said.

"She never lets go of the flask." Sparky intervened knowingly. "What's up, Champ, why aren't you talking?"

Fire Whiskey tried to explain.

"Rock let me down." She mumbled. "_Precious _let me down. Nothing will ever be the same."

"We were _all _let down by our bending." Katara tried to explain, rubbing her back.

Fire Whiskey shook her head.

"No, no. No other skills, you see? Can't do fans, can't do swords. Rock let me down and no other skills." Fire whiskey stopped. The person holding the flask, stood up and said resolutely. "Getting new skills! No fish, no lobster will bring me down this easily!" The person swayed, almost making Fire Whiskey hit the snow, face first. A quick breeze past next to her and held her.

"I think she's drunk." Fire Whiskey heard them talking about someone else.

"She hasn't eaten anything all day." The Wind that was holding her said. Cool! Winds could talk and everything. "I should probably take her back on Appa before she collapses. I'll see you guys back at the outer village, after I see to Toph. Come on Sifu T., I'll get you to a warm bath."

The Wind took her to a cool warm furry flying carpet. Fire Whiskey was happy. Kinda. There was some stench in the carpet. Stench was batting its wings.

"What's El Tuerto doing here?" She asked, laying on Appa. Universe was spinning.

"He came back from his mission and was keeping me company while I waited before showing up."

Fire Whiskey nodded. Wind-guy was spending time with the chicken. Good for family relations. Wind-guy was the chicken's father-in-law after all. Appa took off and the cold airstream in her face sobered her up a bit. She thought about the events of the morning and something that had been bothering her. The Ebi had screamed "_My two virgins!_". Well, she knew about the chastity levels of her friends and about Ty Lee's devotion to the Kyoshi Code. That left … _Jeong-Jeong_? Fire Whiskey was shaking her head when a thought occurred to her.

"Twinkle Toes!" She called. "Is Appa a virgin?"

"Shush!! He's sensitive about that!"

_Ah, yep. Right. Now, that makes sense._

She closed her eyes. Another thought struck her.

"Hey!" She shouted, sitting down, shooting a finger to where she thought he was. "Twinkle Toes! Does that arrow of yours even work? I mean, that lobster wanted to eat me! It kept calling me its virgin!"

He sounded _offended. _Yeah, with what moral authority? She was the one who almost died.

"I don't remember you complaining about _any _of the arrows!" He shouted back.

"That's because I don't know any better! I'm an innocent! I haven't developed criteria! Wait, what are you doing?" He was coming over.

"I'm giving you criteria right now!"

"Don't get touchy. I mean, those monks covered you with the arrows but didn't leave you an instruction manual or anything. As far as I know, you have been running around asking questions to Fire Nation personnel regarding the arrows. How do we even know that you're doing what you're supposed to do with them?"

"You ingrate little earthbender, I'll show you instruction manuals!"

"Hey! It's not me! It's The Lobster! You should have seen its face! IT WAS FULL OF _DOUBTS!_"

"You're blind! You can't see the expressions of a lobster!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o

Toph kissed him happily.

"The arrows work. All of them. Just wanted to make sure. Because that lobster was like completely soiling the good name of the arrows."

"Shut up. Zuko is right. You have no shame."

0o0o0o0o0o0o

The monk gave her food and drew her a hot bath. He helped her wash her hair, but did not get in the tub with her. He kissed her forehead and said something about getting her real warm clothes and that he would be back.

She laid her head back in the tub, her eyes closed, relaxing in the hot water.

"_So, what did you think of my stepchild?_"

"Fate?" Toph didn't bother opening her blind eyes. "Dreadful. Someone should stop your ex from reproducing."

"_I totally agree. Ebi is even weirder than my La. Don't get me started on the subject of family vacations. Eternal teenagers the two of them. So, are you saying thanks or what?_"

"Thanks? For what?"

"_Your reputation! Fate and I thought it would be a nice gesture to protect your reputation._" Tlatli sounded proud. This time Toph opened her eyes and sat on the tub.

"You two are the reason why that thing thought I was virgin?"

"_Well, yes._"

"Are you guys crazy? That thing almost ate me! It was obsessed, chasing me around! Reputation is worth two figs when you're about to die!"

Tlatli sounded hurt.

"_I'm the patron Goddess of adulterers. I know a lot about gossip in small towns. And believe me, reputation counts for a lot when you don't die. I'm making an specialty of mine to protect my followers from such nasty thing as gossip."_

Fate sounded angry.

"_You're such an ingrate. Do you have any idea the amount of work it took to convince that lobster that you were a real maiden? I mean, the way that monk has been chasing you around, and it's not like you are making it hard in any way, mind you! With the amount of kinky that monk has been regaling you, I had to pull in the BIG divinity powers!! BIG! You are lucky that Goddess trump demigod! And that my creepy stepson is dense!"_

"_Don't pay attention to her, she's cranky because she's trying to quit. Every couple hundred years or so Fate decides to quit smoking and then some catastrophe happens. An earthquake, a volcano, a tsunami, you know how it is. Last time she made it nearly a week before a huge flood almost wiped out the known world. We usually get together and beg her to start smoking again. She's a Goddess, it's not like the smoking will kill her or anything." _

"_Ungrateful little Chosen One." _Fate was mumbling on her own. _"And what's with this thing Black Dragon gave me? What am I supposed to do with this?"_

"_That piece of rubber is for you to chew! To distract you from smoking! Black Dragon clearly explained to you how it's the only thing that keeps him from straying." _Toph heard Tlatli addressing her directly. "_Black Dragon is sponsoring Fate on this one. Addicts Anonymous. Those Dragons read way too much. I don't believe in reading. It put ideas in your head."_

"_You believe in practice, not theory, you wench. Whatever. One tries to do the right thing, and what does one get in return? Ingratitude! And that emo stepson of mine? Like trying to face me off with his pitiful powers? I should have stepped on his ugly human toes and make him cry, like I used to do when he was little."_

"Its powers are not that pitiful. It took our bending away." Toph said tiredly, easing herself back on the tub again. "Four powerful benders. I would call that pretty impressive."

"_Ebi doesn't have the power to do that." _Fate dismissed ill humored. "_It can barely think. It will never come up with something as creative as that. Let's go Tlatli. I need to talk to Black Dragon. This piece of chewing rubber tastes awful. We need to add some flavor to it. Ambrosia would be good." _

"_No way Fate. Last time you decided to give up smoking and took up Ambrosia instead, the Airbenders were wiped out and One Hundred Years of War ensued. No Ambrosia for you. I can put some fruit in your chewing rubber if you want." _

Toph heard the Goddesses walking away. A couple of minutes later Aang came into the bathhouse.

"Come on." He told her nicely. "You are all wrinkly from the water. Let's get you dressed. You should take a nap."

She stepped out of the bathtub deep in thought.

"You know Twinkle Toes, the Goddess of Fate was just here." He was drying her.

"And?"

"And she said that The Ebi doesn't have the powers to take our bending away." He stopped. "She was adamant. Whatever took our bending, it wasn't The Ebi."

* * *

_T.T.'s ideas regarding the evils of violence: Mahatma Gandhi. __Toph's sassy responses: mostly hers! (one by Hunter Thompson) _

_Lovely Burning Ice gave me the idea of a lobster when I was wondering about a proper sea monster (THANK YOU Burnice!!). I decided to call it The Ebi (ebi means lobster in Japanese) and was really happy at the novelty of it all. And then, while researching lobsters I ran into the movie "Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster", where Godzilla battles a nuclear enhanced lobster called the Ebirah. So much for novelty. (Aaaarrrggghhhh!!)  
_

_**FANART!**_

_I'm so lucky to get the attention of wonderful artists. Here is the latest in fanart! (Copy, paste, delete spaces or, if you're lazy like me, just click on my profile :-)_

_By Gabzillaz  
_

_'Mai's gets dumped via singing courier' (ha-ha!) http : / / gabzillaz dot deviantart dot com / art / AMoH-Toph-s-singing-courier-99741987_

_By it-ktdf  
_

_'The Ears' (or How to seduce a Monk) http : / / it-ktdf__ dot __deviantart__ dot __com / art / aMoH-The-Ears-99763884_

_By Luna  
_

_'Zuko-thepElvis-Tha-Prince' http : / / luna-wannabe__ dot __deviantart__ dot __com / art / Zuko-as-Elvis-99481230_

_By Luna37  
_

_'No thanks to you' (I like to call it 'Kuei, King of Misery') http : / / luna37__ dot __deviantart__ dot __com / art / Not-thanks-to-you-99357654_

_Thank you Gaby for beta-ing! :-)_


	26. Last Interlude, Menagerie

_Jess kindly pointed out that hawks don't have a sense of smell (it seems like birds in general cannot smell, with two exceptions, one is the Kiwi, and I don't know the other one). So the possibility of El Tuerto getting randy because of Toph and Aang not taking a bath was very unlikely. Er ... yeah, I knew that. Of course. Isn't that my credibility jumping out of the window? Wait, wait!_

_Anyway, that prompted the need to clarify genealogy. The following chapter doesn't add to the plot and it's an optional read. And of course, I'm also addressing here a question someone (cough-Burnice-cough) asked me regarding Nanny Ogg and her cat, Greebo. (More Terry Pratchett, naturally) _:-)_._

* * *

**XXVI. Last Interlude, Menagerie.**

Momo had finally found someone. For a long time he had known that the entire crush thing on Appa was a useless obsession. Appa would never see him as anything but a friend. And then they got to the South Pole and that hussy shirshu Nyla had shown up at the stables, officially killing all hope.

Of course Bosco tried too when he was also camping with them in the stables. The silly bear would try to flutter its eyelashes at Appa, but thankfully the bison didn't even notice. Appa was a simple, noble, cool guy. He loved Aang, he loved Aang's friends, he loved Momo, he was loyal. Things like a pampered spoiled bear with a crush went completely unnoticed to him.

Before Nyla arrived, the mood at the stables had been … academic. Flopsie and Appa would get into long conversations, pondering. Flopsie was not really the thinking kind, but he was good for talks, provided these didn't ran too deep. And Appa, well, Appa was a philosopher. He liked to muse about the ironies of life. Appa was a pacifist at heart, that shared with Flopsie both, the fearsome appearance and the harmless nature. The gorilla-goat and the flying bison would talk for hours: telling stories of their adventures, mulling over loneliness and even drawing plans to find Appa's lost relatives. Which such heavy minded dialogue, Bosco came across as a bimbo: too much of a sissy and too shallow to draw Appa's interest. At the most, Appa thought that Bosco's outfits were a disgrace. And then ... Nyla-of-the-tongue-tricks showed up.

She did help make things … interesting. Momo did not liked her in the least, but she liked Appa a lot and Appa seemed, well, happier. That didn't make seeing Appa get tongue lashes from an ugly tart, that would paralyze him every time, easier. Momo would cringe but the bison would chuckle, amused. So Momo had to bear it, like a friend.

Momo had never really been able to develop a stable romantic relationship. Not with the nomadic life he was leading with Appa and the Avatar. Even that fling with the pygmy pumas back in Ba Sing Se had been only experimental. When things started to look promising he had found Appa's footprint and his smell in the middle of the city and knew that all those good looking cats couldn't compare to his Appa. But now Appa was getting all this attention from a floozy with a mile-long tongue and Momo had no choice but to show support.

All of this resulted in Momo being emotionally delicate when the Fire Nation bird showed up.

The first time he saw El Tuerto, Momo thought that it was just an unpleasant, intense bird, with a serious need for aromatic herbs. That the bird had a _past _was written all over him. Momo had not been interested, just mildly disturbed, until the bird cornered him in a dark aisle. Then, everything changed. Total military type, the bird treated Momo at arm's length most of the time, especially in public. But when the bird was in the mood, it was _great_ company. In general, the bird was the quiet, mysterious type, at all times the image of the cold, detached professional used to do distasteful jobs for the Fire army. In private, the bird was close to the Fire Nation soldier he spent most of his time with, and lately, to Aang. Momo _loved_ that the bird seemed to have develop a soft spot for Aang.

Intrigued and infatuated, Momo had resorted to talking to the other Fire Nation messenger hawks (who were _the _sewing circle in the army), to try to piece together El Tuerto's story.

As far as the hawks knew, El Tuerto grew up without his father. His mother, a fast chicken who dreamed bigger dreams than a coop, met the father, a mean looking cat, in a dark alley. The chicken meant it when she would use the word _mean_ to describe her ex. The cat was iniquity incarnate, a one eyed, scarred, fat feline with a level of randiness that had the chicken sighing for years. She only knew his name: Greebo. After their tryst, the cat left her for an iguana and she continued her trip away from the coop to an Earth Kingdom town called Las Vegas, where she lived still, making a living as "the cannon-chicken", dressed in rhinestones. She had top billing as the fastest chicken in town. No innuendo here. She was fast, really. As in "I can get from point A to point B faster than the famous bullet in the physics example with which teachers had been torturing students for generations." Obviously, a family trait.

From what the other messenger hawks had been able to pick up here and there, El Tuerto grew up in Las Vegas, among entertainers. When he was still a young fowl, he went looking for his father. El Tuerto made it to a small town called Lancre, in the mountains of an alternative world, and met his dad there. The cat made a living as the familiar of a happy witch. And even though the cat was not the fatherly type, there was a sense of pride when Greebo met El Tuerto. They ended up sharing a pint of ale at the local cat's pub and a good conversation. El Tuerto left Lancre appreciating that they did share the same attitude towards life and the sense of smell. Greebo could smell a rat in a one hundred mile radius. Again, no figure of speech here. That was the reason there were not rats left in Lancre. The cat didn't eat the rats though. What he did to the rats ... anyway, we are losing focus here. El Tuerto had inherited several family traits from his father. Most noticeable, the sense of smell, which no other hawk in the Fire Nation Army had, and his democratic approach to relationships.

After Lancre, the hawks heard from reliable sources that El Tuerto had joined the Secret Service as companion to a dashing looking secret agent with a lot of zeros in his code name. The Secret Agent and El Tuerto got along like a house on fire, until their boss, M, kicked El Tuerto out of the Secret Service for (1) conduct unbecoming a bird (something to do with a fellow colleague, the attractive Agent 99) and (2) for looking like crap in a tux. Ugly did not go well with tux and martinis apparently.

El Tuerto left the Secret Service in disgrace. However when M came looking for him, at the behest of his fellow Secret Agent friend and after Agent 99 confirmed on record that anything and everything had been consensual, El Tuerto was not interested in spy work anymore. The Secret Service had been too rarefied for the likes of him and he preferred the border town he was living in at the moment. Eventually, El Tuerto met Chin and made his way to the Fire Nation Army, where the other hawks were both, terrified and in awe of him.

And now the feeling in the stables was a happy one. Momo would wait for El Tuerto to come back from work, making sure everything looked good, Appa would let Nyla get close and Flopsie would clap, delighted that Bosco was back at his master's quarters and the stables were again a place for good conversation.


	27. Of Swords and Men

_Hi! I went on a writing spree. That's the reason for my absence._ _(Just in case you missed me, I'm not assuming that you did ... ) _:-)

* * *

_**FANART - YES!** (Copy, delete spaces, paste or click on my profile for the links)  
_

_From neato123 __**'The Cave of Sorrows**'. Please, __look at that coloring! And Sokka's face! Suki is my favorite ...  
_

_http : / / neato123 dot deviantart dot com / art / AMoH-The-Cave-of-Sorrows-100293913_

_From Luna '**Suki found Religion**!'. I am not sure if Luna considers this fanart but I love Suki's face on this one too ...  
_

_http : / / luna-wannabe dot deviantart dot com / art / AM-Suki-100303324_

* * *

_So, what's the name of El Tuerto-Momo ship? These are the current suggestions: El Moerto (Luna), Momorto and El Tuermo (Loiel). I like all of them!  
_

_The Hakoda-Ursa ship? Hakursa? Hakosa? Ursoda? (??) _

* * *

**XXVII. Of Swords and Men**

Aang helped her get dressed, thoughtful.

"I need to check something out," he said finally, while walking her to her room. "Try to get some sleep. I'll talk to you later."

He kissed her lightly on the lips after bending fire in her stove and left her there, feeling forlorn. Toph wanted to talk to him about the events of the day, the Agni Kai tomorrow and the sense of dread the Ebi's mind gave her, but his thoughts were someplace else. So she let him go.

She went to her bed with all the intention of sleeping. She had just covered herself with the furs when someone knocked on her door. She cursed under her breath and went to open the door, and felt Suki's presence.

"What's up, Fan-Girl?" Toph asked while walking back to her bed. Suki followed.

"I need some company," the warrior said. Toph felt the sadness in her voice.

"What's going on? Where's Katara?" Toph laid down on her bed and Suki laid down next to her. They covered themselves with the furs.

"She's with Zuko. They needed to do something important."

"Yeah, I can imagine what."

"No, seriously. They needed to meet with someone to discuss something important. Zuko was being intense - as usual, and Katara was, too. You know how she gets, all snappy. She was barking at Sokka like there was no tomorrow."

"She does that when she's nervous." Toph wondered if Aang would talk to Katara about them. If she was in a snappy mood, it could get tricky. Aang always caved in when Katara was in a difficult mood. He didn't with her, though - at least, not lately. "What's up with you? You don't sound too good."

Suki burrowed her face into Toph's shoulder and the earthbender felt poignancy seeping through the fabric of her clothes.

"Is it Sokka again?" Suki nodded. "What did he do now? Is he returning Ty Lee's 'Y_ou are so awesome_' hints?

"Well yes, but it's not only that." Toph waited for Suki to say more. "He's … he acts like he doesn't even notice if I'm next to him or not anymore. I mean, he always expects me to be next to him, like the second fiddle to any protagonist role he may have going on. He doesn't even ask me any longer if I think any of his ideas are crazy or stupid. I'm there, and that's it. He takes me for granted."

"Do you take _him_ for granted?"

"Of course not. I know he loves me, I _know_. But I hate that I've become like a piece of furniture for him. Like … like his sword. He expects it to be at hand when he needs it, he unsheathes it when he wants to make a point, and he uses it if he has to. But he doesn't look at his sword anymore, not in any special way. He just takes it for granted. Like me."

"Is he still, you know, wondering?"

"I think so. He's not that obvious about it anymore, but I can tell by the way he starts fixing up his hair when the other Kyoshis are around. And seeing Yue didn't help. He refuses to talk about her, even though I know all there's to know. She told me everything about their relationship that day in the Spirit World."

Toph caressed the warrior's hair.

"Loving without assurances..." Toph said knowingly, "…sucks. Big time."

"I know. There was a time when he used to be after me all the time, chasing me up and down. I never ran too fast, you know that. But now, it seems like I'm the one running after him and sometimes- sometimes… he doesn't let me catch him."

Toph thought about that and felt a pang in her heart. What if that became the case for her and Aang? Sometimes, Twinkle Toes could be a real weasel when sneaking his way out of things he didn't like, or didn't want to do. Real, unspoken pain nestled in her chest thinking about the possibility of her chasing T.T. around and him putting on his slippery act. It felt like the hag had gotten an accomplice in her heart.

"What's the difference between lust and love?" Fan-Girl asked suddenly. Toph jolted in surprise.

"Are you asking me?" she said, but didn't have the energy for the virginal act anymore. Not after the Ebi. "I honestly don't know. It can get really confusing. Lust is so powerful. It renders you senseless to anything else. All I can think of is that we need to trust our feelings, you know? Be loyal to them, don't betray them. And the line between love and lust is usually drawn in there."

"I don't think men can tell the difference as well as we do," Suki concluded, and Toph felt tears make their way through the fabric of her dress.

Toph thought about how long it took Sparky to sort that out. For all she knew, it could have been almost a year - even more, if she counted his and Katara's back and forth before the swamp and the bananas. That made it almost five years for Zuko to understand where lust ended and love started. Aang, however, was on the other side of the spectrum. He was always quick at feeling and expressing love, but now he was beginning to face the confusing assault of lust. And she was somewhere in the middle of this, with her feelings in her hands like a bunch of spring flowers.

"I think Sokka does love you," Toph said instead. As she said it, she realized she meant it. It was her experience with Sokka that though he may be dense at times, he was not a devious person. He was a fairly basic guy, actually. An intelligent and curious man that enjoyed food and detested philosophy, but practiced it without knowing. He was also fiercely loyal, and was probably more confused than anyone else would be at the moment with the lack of certainty he felt now that lust had subsided, and all he had left was love and affection. "Wait, I _know _that Sokka loves you. He has lost his way because he doesn't understand a couple of basic facts regarding human nature. I can help."

But Suki shook her head in Toph's shoulder.

"No, I don't want to put you in an awkward position. You're already going through so much. That Ebi today trying to eat you because you're a virgin was the creepiest, most disgusting analogy I've seen or heard of." Suki stopped for a moment. "What do you mean by 'basic facts regarding human nature'?"

"Lust _always_ subsides. By definition, passion fades, lust settles. There's no way to sustain the intensity for too long a period of time, but it comes and goes. Right now Sokka's at the low point of his lust, and he's confused because he doesn't know if that means the end. I know how to help him and you."

Suki raised her head from her shoulder,

"Are you going to kiss him?" she asked, expectantly and scared at the same time.

"Why don't you leave the logistics to me," Toph said assuredly. "You promised me you will let me do it on my own terms and my own way." That was what she needed - a project. Something to distract her from the possibility of becoming either Fire Lady or Earth Queen tomorrow, and her disgust at either. Something to take her mind off the fact that Aang was a flyer, and that his nature was air. Detached air.

Suki sat on the bed.

"If we are doing some logistics, I need to fix you up good. Your hair is everywhere, you didn't really brush it today after your bath. Let's go to my room, I'll take care of this."

* * *

Suki fixed her good, all right. She wrapped her in some warm but tight outfit she could scarcely breathe in, and even went as far as putting stuff on her face. Toph tried to stop her. The last time she had let someone put stuff on her face, some girls she didn't even know had made fun of her on the street. Just the memory made her feel angry and flush with embarrassment. Suki brushed her concerns off.

"No. My boyfriend, my rules," Suki finalized while brushing her hair. When she was done, she took a step back. "You know, you could really have anyone you want. Don't blush, I'm serious. It's interesting that Kuei - the bastard - can see so clearly, while the rest of those silly guys out there can't. I would have never bet that that guy had good taste." Suki made a '_tsk-tsk'_ noise. "Those are men for you. Don't know their elbows from you know what."

Toph wasn't sure if Suki was complimenting her, or insulting her own boyfriend. She shrugged. The next step was to find Sokka. Suki assumed that he would be at the hall, drinking some Moonshine Tundra Vodka or whatever it was they were hooked on before dinner. They went looking for him, but they couldn't find him. The Order of the White Lotus, all of whom were happily drinking and toasting Jeong Jeong for bravery, hadn't seen him. Toph and Suki drank a shot in Jeong Jeong's honor, and Toph even gave him a kiss on the cheek as thanks. All the older gentlemen applauded and cheered.

They then tried to ask Gran-Gran, who was in the kitchen ordering some people around, but she hadn't seen him either. Toph thanked Gran-Gran for the hair pin that had saved her life.

"How did you know that I wouldn't be able to bend?" She asked.

"I didn't. But I did not make it from the North Pole to the South Pole at sixteen, in the middle of a war, without friends and without money for naught. Luck favors the prepared. I learned at your age that you always need a Plan B." Toph hugged the lady. Gran-Gran was everything she wanted to be at her age. Minus the chauvinistic husband, of course.

They then looked in the bakery, the stables - where they found Momo hugging his bird, his shop in the outer village … but nothing. Suki scratched her head.

"Maybe he's with Chief Hakoda," she said, "or with Zuko and Katara." Toph nodded.

"Let's split. You go and look for him at Zuko's or Katara's, and I'll look for Chief Hakoda." Toph had the impression that she may be able to find Chief Hakoda paying a social visit to the Lady Ursa, but didn't want to highlight that fact to Suki. The warrior assented and went towards Katara's room.

Toph was walking to Lady Ursa's chambers when she heard voices.

"_Don't look so guilty, cutie. A kiss never killed anyone." '_Famous last words', Toph thought. "_Besides, I haven't even started teaching you the Kyoshi Code. You should know, Suki is the first one to understand the importance of the Kyoshi Code."_

"_I just didn't know that the Code involved me, too. Suki never mentioned it. Is it hot in here? I can't breathe."_

Toph stood in front of the closet door and knocked vigorously. She heard Sokka's cursing in alarm and then:

"Yes?"

"Open the door, Sokka, I know you're in there!" Sokka opened the door carefully.

"Yes?" he repeated and she felt how, while his head was the only thing peeking out of the closet right now, his shame was flooding the corridor.

"Sokka, I'm blind. I cannot see if you are in a big or a small room. I also cannot see if you are alone or with someone else because I'm on ice. So, step out of there and escort me somewhere. I need to talk to you." Sokka stepped out. He started babbling something about the huge room he was just in, but Toph shut him up. "Pipe it! Not interested. Take me somewhere private where we can talk."

Sokka seemed surprised, and for the first time he also seemed to be taking her in.

"You look really good… I mean, pretty. Really pretty. Are you going somewhere?"

She decided to be honest with him.

"No. I got this make up to talk to you. Thought that it would make the conversation I'm about to have with you easier."

She heard him scratch something. Probably his chin.

"Okay, I can see that. I think. Hey, I know just the place for a conversation." He stopped. "Shouldn't we get something to drink first?" _He_ sounded like he needed a drink. "Maybe some Moonshine Tundra Vodka? Gran-Gran just distilled a batch in her own bathtub and she says it's her best yet." Toph could picture the vodka sloshing in the same tub where Master Pakku took his baths and cut his toenails. She may be a fearsome warrior but she was also human.

"No thanks. I'd rather drink fire wine."

"I have a bottle that Zuko gave me as a gift. I can go get it."

"You do that, I'll wait for you here." She heard Sokka running away, waited a minute and then knocked on the closet door again.

"Yes?"

"You can come out now, Ty Lee. Sokka is gone." The warrior stepped out of the closet.

"Are you telling Suki?" she asked directly. Ty Lee might be a bimbo, but she wasn't stupid.

"No, I'm not. On the condition that you tell me the truth. And remember, I can tell if you're lying." Actually, on ice it was really hard for her, but Ty Lee wasn't aware of that. "You and Sokka, have you guys done anything that would make Suki really, and I mean_ really_, upset?"

Ty Lee didn't hesitate.

"Not really," she said. "He didn't seem comfortable. One kiss. A short one."

"No frolicking?"

"Absolutely not!" Toph nodded. Good. Not everything was lost yet.

"I won't tell Suki if you promise me that, first, you're immediately stopping this closet business with Sokka, and second, you won't develop a conscience in the future and confess the kiss to Suki. Leave Sokka alone. Why don't you try Chin? I hear that he can be rather appealing and believe me, you're totally his type."

"Oh, I know Chin pretty well. He's a cutie too! And good. We all think so. He's so good, he's the only one we all keep coming back to." Toph thought that it was a good moment to end the conversation.

"Okay! Ty Lee, I'm going to make you an offer you can't refuse. I shouldn't be the one telling you this, as there's such thing as common sense, but I will: Your boss's boyfriend is off limits. Let the word slip out there that I'll personally take down any Kyoshi Warrior that doesn't get that basic survival fact. Sokka equals pain. Lots of it. Let that be known, okay?"

Ty Lee sounded scared. Toph's toughness was legendary.

"Sir, yes, sir!" The warrior said saluting. "No frolicking, cavorting or kicking up heels with Sokka. It shall be known."

"And NO KISSING. Good. You can go now." Ty Lee practically ran away. Five minutes later, Sokka showed up.

"I have the fire wine," he said, full of pride. Toph wondered what happened with the old Sokka, the charming fifteen-year-old that would get all worked up if someone besides Suki showed him any interest. After talking to Ty Lee and consoling Suki, she was getting really worked up herself and not in a good way.

"Okay. Let's go some place private."

Sokka grabbed her elbow and guided her somewhere else. She had no idea where they ended up, but he seated her on a cushion and took a neighboring one for himself. Sokka served two cups of fire wine.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" he said, his voice low. Toph raised an eyebrow. No, no, it couldn't be. Sokka and the husky thing _did not _belong together in the same physical space. Scratch that. In the same universe, except if Suki was at the other end of it.

"That thing you're trying to do with your voice, cut it out. Right now. Before I smash this cup of fire wine on your head," she threatened. He recoiled, embarrassed. She could feel his blood rushing to his face, in shame.

"All right." He adopted his normal voice. "So, tell me, what do you want to talk about?"

"How long have you been feeling confused about your relationship with Suki?"

"Who said anything…?"

"Please, spare me."

He took a minute before answering.

"Everyone seems to think that it's just a matter of days now before we announce to the world we are getting married. I mean, no one is even considering the possibility that there may be more … out there."

"More what?"

"I don't know, stuff. More of something."

"More women?"

"I didn't say that!" He stopped. "It's just like the rest of my life has been laid up in front of me and I know exactly how this scroll is going to end. No surprises left in this story. Some people really like that idea. Me? I don't know. Maybe I like to be surprised once in a while."

"Be careful what you wish for. The Gods like to punish mortals by granting them their desires."

"Well, I thought that you were just that."

"I beg you pardon?"

He seemed uncomfortable.

"That you were a desire granted by the Gods. You know, when you showed up here at the South Pole so pretty, so grown up, so sure of yourself."

Toph shook her head. Suki had been right all along. Sokka was wondering. Badly.

"I'm not the issue here, Sokka. You are. And whatever you're doing to your relationship with Suki."

She felt him shrinking on his seat. Like a prune.

"I'm not doing anything to my relationship with Suki."

"Kissing Ty Lee doesn't sound like nothing."

He choked on wine and guilt.

"Who said anything …?"

"Again, spare me." She sighed. "Sokka, what are you doing? Seriously. Can't you see what's in front you?"

Sokka shifted on his place.

"I see what's in front of me. I mean. It's like going to a tea shop. You order Jasmine, and then realize that there's also Ginger, and Ginseng and Rosehips. How do you know that Jasmine is as good as it gets?"

Toph remembered what Suki had said about being on a diet and looking at the dessert table.

"You can look at the menu, Sokka, that's normal. What is not normal is drinking all the teas to find out which one you really like. You get sick that way. The scumbag way."

She felt him lowering his head in his hands.

"When I was a kid I made a list of all the things I wanted to do before settling down. I wanted to kick some Fire Nation butt, I wanted to rebuild my tribe, to avenge my mother, to see the world. Some of the things I wanted to do, I've done. Some I haven't. And now it's like the time for adventures has passed and I'm scheduled to settle down. What if in a couple of years I want to break free? How do you break free?"

"I have the impression that you're looking at this the wrong way."

"You still wear the bracelet I gave you," he said suddenly, changing the topic. "We used to be together all the time, remember? I used to carry you all over, and you were my partner in crime while raiding Katara's grocery bag." He was getting wistful again. Like that day in the Spirit World, when he saw Yue. "We used to laugh together all the time, and you always made me feel good about myself, even though you were insulting me most of the time." He put his hand on top of hers and squeezed. "I've missed your company. We were free together."

Toph nodded and bit her lip. This was the Sokka she remembered. The Sokka she used to crush so hard after. The Sokka of her dreams until that day when she woke up as head of the Dai Li in Ba Sing Se and decided to let him go from the romantic side of her heart and walk into the friendly side of it. And precisely because he was in the 'friend' side of her heart she realized that she needed to act. Sokka was beyond rational words right now. Action was required.

"I've missed our crazy adventures," he was saying. She felt a twinge of vanity that came upon her sometimes.

"So, do you really think that I've grown up? That I look nice?"

"I do, Toph, I honestly think you do. Really nice." He paused. "What was it that you wanted to tell me? I think I know."

"Do you? Really?" She made a gesture with her index finger, a becoming gesture, prompting him to get close to her. "Come closer, Sokka. Closer. So I can tell you a secret." His face was so close to hers that she felt his breath almost on her lips. She smiled seductively and when he was about to kiss her, she punched him in the top of his head with her closed fist and all her might. "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?" she yelled.

"OUCH!! That hurt!"

"Don't '_ouch_' me! What were you thinking? Suki is the best thing that ever happened to you!"

He kept rubbing the top of his head.

"You don't need to be so forceful about it! I know!"

"No, you don't! You have no idea about anything! So, what was it that you thought I wanted to tell you, ah? How much I've loved you since I was kid?" She felt his embarrassment, and knew that she had nailed it. She tried not to laugh, so she covered her mouth with her hand in mock horror. "You must be joking, Sokka."

"I … I'm sorry! I thought that after the Ebi today you would be all frustrated with your … whatever!"

OK, that was unexpected.

"You thought I was frustrated with what?" Toph opened her mouth, flabbergasted. "Oh, wait, no, no, don't tell me … my virginity? Is that what you're trying to say? Oh, by the Spirits! Were you hoping that I would ask_ you_ the _favor_?" She shook her head and almost punched him again. "Sokka, you're hopeless."

"I'm sorry, okay? I don't know where my head's been lately! Sometimes I'm really happy with everything and ready to settle down, and sometimes I just want to run away because I'm afraid I'll suffocate."

"Sokka, believe me, I've been there. I'm the Queen of Running Away Before I Suffocate. You _are _looking at this the wrong way. You're confusing your doubts about yourself with Suki. You think that because you feel that you haven't finished living your adventures that means there's something wrong with your stable relationship. Darn, man, you're confusing _steady _with _predictable._"

Sokka was confused.

"What?"

"Sokka, I know a secret that I'm going to share with you. The love that robs you of your freedom is the same love that liberates you." She realized a second into the phrase that she was talking about her breeze-man, and she felt something flutter inside her. "I mean, Suki has never been the one that stifles you. You're the one choking yourself in your head and thinking that your relationship has something to do with it. You have this checklist in your head and somehow you have decided that you need to check all the boxes by yourself, when you can do it _with_ her next to you."

"So you're saying that this I'm feeling is just in my head?"

"In your head, yes, not in your heart. You love Suki. But you're taking her for granted. And that's pretty stupid because believe me, you will be hard pressed to find someone like Suki. You're assuming that what you have with her is something you can easily get with someone else. And that's not the case."

"What did you mean again by the bit about the love that liberates you?" He was still trying to understand what she had said before. She felt herself blushing.

"I meant that when you are prisoner of a love that makes you free like nothing else ever did, that's a good love and you shouldn't lose it." Damn. That poetry thing, that was contagious. She sighed. Next thing, she would be listening to gentle air currents singing to her or something. "You're very lucky, Sokka, and you don't even know it."

Something in her voice made him react. She felt him deflating, unwrapping within himself, and hugging his knees.

"Suki _is _the best thing that ever happened to me," he said softly. "She's always up for any project I may come up with, she's strong, noble and funny. I'm never afraid that she won't be able to face with me anything that comes our way." Sokka hesitated and then added. "Yue was so different than Suki. She was… delicate. You know how beautiful she was, I mean, is. Like an immortal. And I'm not saying that she wasn't brave. Yue was willing to do the ultimate sacrifice. But I always felt that I needed to protect her. She just seemed to need … protection. To be cherished, like a doll. Suki is not like that. She can protect me! She doesn't need me the same way."

"She needs you in every possible way," Toph affirmed.

She heard him nod. He was obviously grappling with his feelings - and his guilt.

"I know. And _I_ need her. I - she - we are so well suited as a couple."

And Toph knew by the way he muttered Suki's name again that he was really recognizing that his girlfriend was the best. But, Toph thought, that didn't mean that he should get an easy reprieve and not be made aware of the errors of his ways. So she added casually.

"Suki is also very beautiful. And just so you know, you and I are not the only ones that think so."

He suddenly sounded wary.

"What do you mean?"

"I heard Sparky and Twinkle Toes the other day talking about how good looking she is. And how _sexy_ the fans are." Well, maybe she was laying it a bit thick but Sokka totally deserved it.

"What? What are you saying? Is Zuko after Suki?"

"Of course not! Where do you come up with such a crazy idea? But you know how it is when we are all practicing martial arts. Anyway, he's single - well, sort of, Sunshine doesn't really count - so it's okay if he says things like that. I'm sure he didn't mean any disrespect or anything. Suki _was _practicing with her fans after all. The thing about Sparky is that he comes with perks."

"What do you mean perks?" Sokka's voice was distrustful.

"Well, let me see: he has a palace, an entire nation that follows him and treats him like a God, big feet that throw fire … Hmm, ah! He also knows how to handle a sword. TWO of them to be precise. How many swords do you have, Sokka? One? Well, those sound like good perks, wouldn't you say?"

"No, I wouldn't."

"That's because you're not a girl. Katara, the Kyoshis and Suki totally agree with me about the perks. Anyway, we all have eyes. I mean, not me. I'm blind. But you know that!"

Sokka's voice sounded dark.

"You all have eyes? What's that supposed to mean? Are you guys checking Zuko out? _Is Suki checking Zuko out_?"

"Well, wouldn't you if your boyfriend was having commitment issues? Sparky is tall. Is he taller than you? I forgot, I saw you in the Spirit World. He _totally _is. And rich. Richer than … let me think … ah, yes, you. And educated. And he chews with his mouth closed."

All of the above fell like rocks on his head.

"Stupid sexy Zuko!" Sokka was fuming. "What's with the guy that all women go gaga about? He has a scar and he's a sourpuss!"

"It's the mystery factor. We women look at him and all we can think is how puzzling and tortured he looks. Then we let our imagination fly. Most of the time, we just want to save him." She carefully left out the fact that his own sister was so down the Zuko path that no pair of ruby red shoes could bring her back home.

"Women are so messed up," Sokka mumbled.

"You have no idea," Toph sighed. "All right, let's move on here. So, are you going to keep with this commitment issue? Or should I let Suki know what you just tried to do to me, what you were doing in that closet and _then_ tell her that Zuko is practicing firebending, right now?"

"Firebending?"

"Yes. With the firebending movements. The thing with the feet. The sweat. Maybe … no shirt?"

"Forget it, woman!" Sokka yelled, unsheathing his sword. "You just bought your friend a very angry and committed boyfriend!"

"Yeah, you go and do that." She patted his hand. "And try to get Zuko to teach you some mystery while you are at it."

* * *

Toph was walking back to her room when she heard them.

"_Pay up!_"

"_No way! You knew that she wouldn't do that to her friend!_"

"_So? That was the entire purpose of the bet, you silly. Would she or wouldn't she? Anyway, you're the Goddess of Adultery. This is supposed to be your specialty, so quit it with the excuses. PAY UP!"_

"_That warrior, he was all for it. If it had been me instead of your Chosen One, that would have been a done deal. I'm paying, okay? Paying right now! When are you picking up smoking again?"_

Toph smiled to herself before stopping at Suki's door. She knocked. Suki opened the door.

"Done, Fan-Girl. Problem solved. With No Kissing. By the way, Sokka's going to be driving you crazy every time you mention the word _Zuko_, but that's a-okay. Make sure that you mention that Zuko has two swords at least twice daily for a week. After that, you can let that one go and just talk about Zuko's palace or mention his firebending without a shirt in passing when you notice Sokka getting distracted again. That should keep him on his toes for a while."

Suki hugged her.

"Thank you, Toph! Now that I think about it, Zuko does have _two _swords. Long, curvy ones. _Interesting_ ones."

"That's the spirit!" Suki tried to high five her but failed miserably because Toph was blind. She hugged her again instead. "See you later, Fan-Girl. Ah! And tonight, call Sokka _Zuko_ by mistake at least once. Don't make it too obvious. Maybe when he's kissing you or something. Yep. I think that should do it." Suki kissed her forehead and let her go.

* * *

When Toph got to her room, Aang was there waiting for her. She felt him sitting on her bed, tapping the floor with his staff. She felt emotion emanating from him almost like a scent. She was so happy to feel him there that she ran to embrace him. He, however, did not embrace her back. He pushed her away, actually pushed her.

"What were you doing with Sokka?" Aang asked bluntly. He sounded livid.

"I was helping Suki with something." Toph answered, her smile fading. She didn't like him pushing her away and realized a bit too late that she had misread his emotions.

"So, it's OK if the girlfriend says yes?" He stood up, and she heard him throwing the staff on her bed.

"What are you talking about?" She asked, taking one step back. "I don't think I like what you're implying."

"I'm not implying. I saw you."

"You saw me? You saw me do what?"

"I saw you walking with Sokka into a dark room. _His_ room." _Well_, she thought, _there you have it. Main problem with being blind, you never know when the rooms you are walking into are dark._ "I saw you guys getting very close. He was holding a bottle of fire wine and grabbing your arm."

"Wait. Did you stay to watch?"

"I didn't have to. It was obvious!" He was raising his voice, and she definitively did not like that. She crossed her arms but refused to step back further.

"If you did not stay to watch, how do you know that I did what you are implying?" she asked calmly, willing to give him a chance.

"I'm not going to stay and watch you earn the title of ultimate tramp. I know that you always liked Sokka! I also know that he has been looking around lately!" His voice was bitter. "So what? Time to teach him what you learned with me?"

She was agape.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" She asked, and yes, she was deeply hurt.

"What else do you expect me to think? You're all made up, you even put on make-up!"

She stomped her feet in anger and nothing happened. No earth-induced concussion on the cretin monk.

"Get out," she said, furious. "Get out, right now."

He grabbed her arm and pulled her to his chest, grabbing her neck with his other hand, and kissing her fiercely. She put her hands on his chest and pushed him back with all her strength, making him tumble and almost fall on the top of the bed.

"NO!" she exclaimed. "You don't get to call me names and pretend it's foreplay! You don't get to insult me and then kiss me! GET OUT!"

Aang rose from his prone position and tried to adjust his robes.

"I'm not getting out, you owe me an explanation," he ventured, but she could feel that under the anger there was something else. Regret. She, on the other hand, was not in a charitable mood anymore.

"I don't owe you anything," she bit back. "You, on the other hand, owe several explanations. Remember your fiancée? Have you _explained_ things to her? Starting with me and ending with your future festivals!"

He turned towards the bed and picked up his staff.

"I …" he started, and did not continue. He breathed deeply, and tried to speak again. "I've … tried. It's so … difficult. I mean, we don't even know what's going to happen. It's very confusing." She felt the blood rushing to her face and her heart leaping, in a bad way. With dread. After everything, after all that had happened between them, he was still _confused_.

"I tried to talk to Katara today," Aang said, sitting on her bed, his staff on his knees. "She was crying. She was so sad … and I couldn't bring myself to tell her anything. She doesn't deserve this. I … I consoled her and promised her to take her away when all of this is over."

Toph heard more than what he said. Toph heard the unspoken affirmation: '_We don't know what may happen, except that you'll be either Earth Queen or Fire Lady.' _And she hated him for that.

"You're taking her away when _this _is over. I see."

"We have been together a long time." His voice was full of pain instead of anger now, apologetic. "She has been my friend, _our _friend, through thick and thin. How am I going to do this to her? It's not honorable."

'_She is going to do it to you,' _the hag in her head told him. Toph shook her head, trying to blink away the tears that were coming. '_Don't worry,' _the hag told her nonchalantly. '_When she dumps him like the hot disgusting turnip that he is, you can always be his consolation prize._' She kicked the hag out of her head because this was not the moment to be insulted, because she was hurting and because she was _no one's consolation prize. _If the monk wouldn't choose her openly, then she didn't want him. That simple. She refused to be his "_better than nothing_." And she definitively refused to be there waiting for him after her friend broke his heart.

Toph could feel his shame now. Recoiling like a serpent. Filing the room. She raised her chin, swallowed her tears and absolutely refused to let him get away with it. She walked to the door and opened it, her face a mask.

"Go. Now," she said frostily. "Un-confuse yourself on your own bed and with your own fiancée. I'm done with you."

He stayed in the room, obviously not wanting to leave.

"What do you want from me, ah? To throw the last five years out of a window? It's not honorable!"

"I want you to have the guts to make a tough decision. Here or there. You can't be in two places at the same time. _It's not honorable._"

"You don't know how it feels! Do you want me to break Katara's heart when she's down? I thought she was your friend too, but you don't care about hurting her!"

She opened her mouth in shock. So she was the _bad one, _now? She was the one _hurting innocent_ people?

"Don't you dare making me the evil one here because you're cheating spineless twerp," she said, her voice like glass, just one step from shattering. "And for your information, I know perfectly well how it feels. It feels like defeat. Out. Now." Dammed it if she was about to let the monk see her cry. She still had her pride. Actually, it was the only thing left to her at the moment.

"How can you be so cold about this?" he asked angrily.

"_I'm_ cold? _You_? Accusing _me_ of being cold? You have nerve, monk. We both knew from the start when coming into this that only my heart was at risk." She breathed deeply. Control, she prayed to Fate for Control. Not crying in front of him. Not now. "Leave now Aang, before I start screaming until I get everyone in the South Pole, right now, in this room."

She knew that he knew her voice and that this was not an idle threat. He walked to the door and stayed in the frame wanting to say something else but she pushed him out with a shove and slammed the door at his back. She then leaned against the door and left herself slide to the floor with a thud.

"Hear that?" she asked the hag, who for once was not mocking her. "It's the sound of my heart breaking."

* * *

She could hear him on the other side of the door.

"Toph," he called softly.

"Go away."

"Toph." He bumped his forehead against the door. "I am sorry. I'm so sorry. I was angry. I was … jealous. I didn't want to insult you."

"Go away. Insulting me because you're jealous does not count as romance in my books."

"What else can I do to apologize? To show you that I'm sorry?"

"You can go. That will really show remorse."

"Toph, please."

"Don't please me." She leaned her head against the door. It was easier to say what she was about to say if he was on the other side and she couldn't feel his vibrations clearly. For once, let's bless the ice. She knew this was coming anyway. She knew it the day she decided to cross all the lines of self protection and love him without guarantees. That was the way to a miserable broken heart. That's what had happened to La, and for the first time in the entire ordeal she felt some pity for the Fish. Just some, because no amount of pain justifies taking revenge on blind earthbenders. "It's not about the insults or the fact that you're sorely mistaken about Sokka."

"What is it about, then?"

"Us. You still think that you can get away with what you're doing. That you can have me _and_ Katara. Good luck with that."

"You told me yourself that there were no strings attached!"

"For you. I meant not strings attached for you. I didn't mean myself. Anyway, you proved me right. So, I'm taking myself out of your story."

"I don't want you out of my story."

"It's not your choice. It's mine. Just because you don't see me bleeding, doesn't mean I'm not hurt. But for you, the only heart worth not wounding is Katara's. You don't even have the guts to fight for me. So go away. I'm not going to be your secret anymore. I had enough being my parents' secret."

"Don't say that. Don't _ever _compare me to your parents."

"Really? Like you're not acting like them? Go away. I don't do subtle and I don't do half ways. Detach yourself, Aang, you're good at it."

"Toph, don't send me away. Just because I don't enjoy hurting someone else…"

"Don't even try it. Don't pin on me Katara's suffering." '_If any_,' the hag said. "And I _can't_ send you away. You were never here to begin with. But I was. The difference between us, is that I can distinguish between love and lust." She thought she heard a weird noise. She wondered if he was crying. She wasn't. Too focused in pulling all her energy to keep herself from cracking on the outside. She thought about saying things like "_It's okay, we'll still be friends,_" but she knew that those were crappy lies. And anyway, it was not her job to console him, and she didn't want friendship. But she also knew by looking at Sad Gods and Sad Mortals that your heart does not stop beating just because it's broken. "I'll survive you, Aang," she told him, standing up before stepping away from the door. "I will."

"I don't want you to ..." She heard him say, but this time she did not answer. She went to her bed and put her pillow over her head.

"Fate, Tlatli, Hag," she called. All the squatters in her head were needed right now. "Sing to me."

"_I don't know any lullabies," _she heard Fate say.

"_It's not the music she cares about," _Tlatli answered. "_She just want to drown his voice._"

Fate and Tlatli sang a forgotten song, sheltering her from the world and the noise of the monk banging on her door.


	28. The Heart of a Good Bet

**XXVIII. The Heart of a Good Bet.**

* * *

It was her fault, Toph decided in the morning. Totally her fault. She knew about the festivals, the concubines, the poetry, and that this was a Barefaced Monk. This was the same monk that kissed her for the first time while engaged to her friend. True, her friend was kissing someone else, but the monk didn't know that. She was angry at herself. She thought that she could play grown-up games and got her heart involved in the process. Always under the hope, no, the _belief _that he would choose her at the end. She banged her forehead against the door.

_"You're a dream come true," he had said in her ear. She was on a table, of all places. There were no tables in her room, but he needed a desk so he had one in his room. He had grabbed her by the waist and sat her on the desk, his hands caressing her knees, his mouth on hers. He had separated her thighs, and embraced her. She bit her lip when he crossed her threshold, with the same grace of movement he would have for everything. She suspected that hers were less graceful but more to the point. He was moving inside her, with her, and against her. Her arms around his neck, her legs high, wrapped around his torso, her ankles crossed at his back. His cadence was that of the breeze, his kisses those of fire. His hands on her hips guiding her movements were as grounded as the earth, and to her total happiness there was water, not ice, not ice anywhere. Just the wetness. The wetness that kept multiplying with their passion, and that escalated until she let his name loose in her sighs._

"Snap out of it," she reminded herself, and felt the sting of bittersweet tears that she obstinately blinked away. She was thinking and feeling. And she hated being at the mercy of both her thoughts and her feelings. Today was the last day. The last task. And last night had been a long and empty night.

"_You can't be angry because you fell in love."_

"Shut up Fate."

"_It's better to love and lose than…_"

"Shut up or I'll burn all icons and images I find of you."

"_I'm sorry it hurts so much. I can bless you with not feeling anything if you want._" Toph thought about it. That meant not caring enough to be angry and anger was a source of power right now.

"No thanks."

She dressed herself with purpose. The cretin monk was probably so upset right now because she had dumped him that he was capable of doing something stupid like winning the Agni Kai. She wanted to warn him not to act like a petulant child and suck it up. The Agni Kai reminded her of Katara and Zuko and something in her heart jumped. There was no need to make everyone unhappy in this story. Those two, they could still make it. She was condemned to a life of misery, anyway. She didn't have to drag everyone down with her.

"_Don't let my son win,_" Fate warned.

"Would you shut up? I lost already, get it? Go get a cigar!"

"_You know what would help?_"

"For you to go to hell?"

"_I'll bet there is someone out there who knows about chance. The art of the odds, that's the heart of a good bet."_

There was a knock on her door. Not the anguished banging of the night before. The banging had stopped after a while and she had heard him going away. She had fell asleep cocooned by the Goddesses heartrending songs and conversation, which somehow had turned into a crying-fest of immortal lost loves and lost memories, peppered by Fate's serious need of a new addiction. She suspected that the Goddesses had enchanted her into a deep slumber, because she didn't wake up until the morning. The knock on the door repeated itself. She now stopped on her tracks, and went to hear who was it. She heard Fate.

"_I don't plan. I guide._"

"Who is it?" she asked, distrustful.

"It's me, Great Master. Corporal Chin."

She leaned her forehead against the door and breathed. She was disappointed but relieved at the same time. When she opened the door, however, she heard rustle of feet behind Chin. Like if someone was quickly getting up to his feet. She recognized his smell. Sandalwood, saffron and summer breeze. It had been haunting her for the last couple of weeks. She ignored him, deciding to focus on the smell of the bird on Chin's shoulder.

"Yes, Chin?"

"Great Master, El Tuerto has been back since yesterday. I though you would like to send the next message."

"Come in."

Chin hesitated. She could hear him turning to look at Aang standing in the corridor. She could feel Aang looking at her. For a moment she wondered if he had spent the night there. Unlikely, this was Aang she was talking about. So she kept her composure. Blindness on ice was a blessing now. Not having to deal with awkward vibrations.

"Great Master, I think the Avatar wants to talk to you."

"Are you coming inside or not?"

"But the Avatar …"

"The Avatar has better things to do, Chin." She stepped aside to let him in. Chin got into the room, but still lingered, unsure about what to do.

"Toph," Aang called. She did not turn her head towards him and just closed the door.

"That was harsh," Chin said in a low voice. It was the first time since she had known him that the soldier was volunteering something resembling criticism. She understood then that Chin really liked Aang. Figures. Everybody liked Aang and wanted to protect him.

"He's not a child," she told him curtly. "He doesn't need your protection."

"I know. It's not him that I'm concerned about, Great Master."

"I don't need your protection either. I thought we established that the first time I bended you into an infirmary."

"You may not need a protector, but you look like you could use a friend," Chin said, and she heard the fetid bird flapping its wings.

And then El Tuerto flew to her shoulder. And Toph felt the talons through the fabric, and the smelly wings touching her ear and cheek, and instead of the usual irreverent feeling, she sensed understanding exuding from it. Obviously, El Tuerto knew pain. At least, it could recognize it. And for some unphantomable reason, being offered empathy by an immoral chicken undid her. She sat on the floor and started crying for the first time since the events of the night before. With a malodorous, brutal, sympathetic bird on her shoulder and a compassionate ex-convict holding her hand, Toph learned then that comfort can come from the most unexpected sources, and that it should be equally welcomed. And at that moment, she stopped calling El Tuerto "it" and started calling him "he".

When she stopped crying, she wiped her tears and smiled.

"Okay, Chin, I have the next message for Lady Mai. Write this down: _Dear Mai: Fourth Rule of the Girly Code. Long trips + no letters + __FORGETTING __you were in jail (equals) Suspicion. Signed, The Blind Bandit._"

She heard Chin nodding.

"Good message, Great Master. Very good."

She was grateful that he hadn't said anything about the crying or the monk at her door. She then remember Fate's comment about odds and bets.

"So, Chin, who's keeping the books?" She asked in a better mood now that she had left all the sadness flow.

"Great Master?"

"Who's running the bets? Don't play coy with me, Chin, I institutionalized the betting system in Captain's Yin unit, if you remember."

Chin sounded shy.

"I am."

"Figures. By yourself?"

"Actually, Master Sokka is helping. He had turned out to be a natural for the betting running business."

"Yep, it sounds like Sokka. So what are the odds?"

"Great Master?"

"Come on, man! Lay it out for me. Don't feel bad that you're betting on my possible miserable futures because of this stupid Contest. If it was you instead of me, I would be betting like crazy."

That seemed to put Chin at ease.

"The short odds are two to one that you become Fire Lady instead of the Lady Mai. There is also a sub-bet two to one that she spears you with shurikens or senbons, different parts of the body pay different winnings, different knives too. You know how it is. Then there is the four to one bet that you become Earth Queen, with the sub-bet that you become a widow on your wedding night, with different winnings depending if the bear also dies or not." Toph was following all this assenting knowingly. You could say many things about firebender soldiers, but these guys really knew how to enjoy life and how to run an underground betting system. "Finally, there is a long odds bet that almost no one is backing up. That one pays fifteen to one."

"That's high. Is that the one where my stint as Fire Lady lasts five minutes because I nullify the wedding? "

"You cannot nullify your wedding to the Crown Prince, Great Master."

"What are you talking about? You said yourself that I could nullify weddings in the Fire Nation for seven copper pieces."

"If you are married to anyone else but to the heir to the throne or the Fire Lord himself. That wedding is blessed by the Fire Sages. That ceremony, those vows, cannot be undone."

"What? Why no one told me this? Does Zuko know this?"

"Of course he does, I told him myself."

"When? No one had said anything to me!"

"Well, yesterday. His waterbender sent me a message that they needed to talk to me, with the Agni Kai being today and all."

Toph picked up the grammatical construction immediately. His waterbender? When did that become common knowledge? However, if there was something that you could say about Chin is that the guy defined the concept of public opinion. If you wanted to know what people out there in the street were thinking or saying, if you wanted to run a survey or a voting poll, you could save yourself a lot of work and just talk to Chin.

"Do you mean that Katara knows this too?"

"Yes. They both came to talk to me."

"Oh, by earth, are those two imbeciles or what? They know this and they are going forward with this Agni Kai? What happens if he wins?"

Toph was livid. Loyalty and honor were one thing, suicidal, brainless self-sacrifice was another. Chin assented ominously.

"If he wins today, you will be Fire Lady forever. His highness never backs up if his honor is involved. They both said that they were doing this for you. Anything better than having you in a Ba Sing Se wooden cell while the Earth King figures out a way to make you love him, they said."

"Aarrgghh!!" Toph jumped in full warpath mode. "Chin, call the fireguys. There's going to be a battle. If I need to personally gut Kuei to stop this nonsense, I will."

Chin scratched his chin. This was not a play on words. Toph stopped.

"What? Are you moving or not?"

"There may be a plan already in motion Great Master."

"Really, designed by whom?"

"The Avatar. Master Sokka, the Kyoshi warriors and my unit are all busy with it right now."

"What's this? Why was I kept in the dark? I mean, I'm always in the dark, forget that. Why no one told me?"

"This is Plan B, Great Master. We cannot let anyone find out. Your future depends on it."

Toph was too angry to pay attention to Chin's last words. So everyone was going freelance now? She hated not knowing. Being treated like an invalid, delicate flower, not being able to _help_. For the first time she wished she was a Kyoshi just to smear her face with ugly war paint. She needed to act, right now. Do something to get back in control of the freaking circus show that her life had turned out to be. She started walking towards the door. She stopped there for a moment, her back to Chin, before turning her head slightly.

"That fifteen to one bet, the long odds, what's that one?"

"No one dies, no wrath of the Gods, you become neither Earth Queen nor Fire Lady and there is a happy ending." Toph hung her head. She then asked, afraid of the answer, but hopeful.

"Which one are _you _backing up?"

"The long odds one, Great Master."

She smiled and opened the door.

* * *

Aang was not in the corridor anymore. She needed to find him. She need to talk to him right now. She hesitated, wondering which way to go.

"Try his room," Chin said behind her. She jumped. The guy had like the gift of teleportation or something. "He usually meditates when he gets upset, or sad, or angry or confused. He meditates a lot."

"How on earth do you know that?"

"Well lately, the Avatar had been meditating often, and because I've been helping him with some … stuff, I just noticed it."

Toph wavered and she was about to start walking when something lighted in her brain.

"It was _you_," she asserted, turning. "With the instruction manuals! The tips, the knowledge of how to do things. It was you all the time!" She poked his chest with her finger.

"Don't get angry at me!" Chin said in defense. "He seemed so worried, and didn't seem to want to ask questions to any of his friends, so I may have helped a little. And anyway, you forbade me from giving him romance scrolls, the only thing left was advice!"

She stopped for a moment.

"It was very good advice," she accepted grumpily. "No wonder those Kyoshis keep coming after you."

"El Tuerto, Great Master. El Tuerto taught me everything I know, and now he's teaching the Avatar too. He calls him his Sifu Sexy."

Toph covered her mouth with her hand. All the insanity she had faced during the last two weeks did not prepare her for the realization that those very happy moments when Aang had her singing hallelujah were owed to a rancid, arrogant, ugly fowl. El Tuerto flapped his wings proudly. Chin, politely, tugged at her sleeve.

"To your right, and keep going three doors, and then your left. He'll be happy to see you, Great Master."

She thanked him and ran.

* * *

Toph barged into his room. Now she had purpose.

"Aang!" She called him by his name. Not cute nicknames, nothing. She felt him turning to her and bending the air jumping to where she was. He embraced her so tight that she couldn't breathe.

"I'm sorry, Toph," he said in her hair. "I'm so, so sorry. Please forgive me." She tried to push him away, feebly, but he did not let go.

"I need you to win this one for me," she said, her face buried in his shoulder. He did not hear her.

"Please forgive me. I've been so stupid. I know now how stupid. Please tell me that you forgive me. That you're not leaving me."

"I'm not leaving you," she said, and then he grabbed her face and started kissing her feverishly, and she tasted tears in her mouth. She barely pulled away and grabbed his wrists to get him to stop.

"I'm not leaving you of my own free will. But I do need you to win this one for me," she repeated.

He took a step back.

"I thought you wanted me to lose," he said, stunned.

"Not anymore. You need to win this one. For me."

"But that means you become Queen Consort!"

"That's not the reason why I want you to win." She felt him crossing his arms.

"I'm not doing anything until I understand why would you like to marry Kuei now. I thought being Fire Lady was ten times better."

"Don't you go throwing a temper tantrum now. We don't have time for this."

"I'm tired of being treated like child!" He snapped back.

"You wouldn't be if you'd stop acting like one." Even she knew that that one must have hurt. "I don't, and I've never treated you like a child. So cut it."

"Then tell me your reasons. I can take them."

She thought about breaking confidences, about the story that was not hers to tell, but she also knew that things had gotten too far for everyone involved.

"Zuko and Katara," she said. He flinched. _Really? How dense can he be?_ "They deserve to be happy. They have a chance, if Zuko loses."

"What exactly are you saying?" He seemed in control of his voice. Actually, a bit cold.

"That they are in love, they have been for a while now. They never told you to protect you, to make sure you were happy, yada-yada-yada. They tried to stay apart, believe me, they tried. But right now, the only thing that will keep those two away from each other is death. Neither you nor I would enjoy happiness if it means their misery. And believe me, it will. If you win this one, Zuko is free - well, there is Sunbeam back home, but that's almost fixed. I've been sending her messages. Anyway, with Zuko free, they have a chance."

She didn't hear anything from him. She couldn't feel his vibrations, she couldn't hear his heartbeat or his blood rushing wildly. The only thing coming from him was silence. Strange, calm silence.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" she asked, doubtful, wondering if she should get out of the way before the monk went into full Avatar state and destroyed the place.

"How long have you known this?" he asked instead. She couldn't pick up _anything _from the guy. That was scary. She stepped back. He moved now, like trying to stop her, but thinking the better of it because he didn't finish the gesture.

"Does it matter? The important thing is that we can make it right."

"You kept their secret. Were you protecting me too?"

"No. I was protecting _them_. It was not my story to tell. You told me yourself that telling secrets gives away pieces of those who trust us. I wouldn't tell your secrets. I couldn't tell theirs."

"But you're telling me now."

"Aaargh! What's with the analysis? Can't you just accept things for what they are? I'm telling you because I'm still protecting _them_ by telling you. _You_ don't need their protection anymore and I don't either. Which is what those two morons are trying to do. Don't let them!"

He didn't answer. Toph was still waiting for him to lose it any minute and even though she didn't want to push him over the edge, there was something that she needed to say. For the simple reason that she cared about him, _a lot_, and it was not fair for him not to know.

"There was nothing wrong with you. There is _nothing _wrong with you. Someone else was already occupying all the space. She tried hard for it to be you, believe me, and he did, too. They tried to sacrifice so much for you, but they sort of marked each other, and then there was no space left for anyone else."

He seemed immersed in a different train of thought.

"I thought you didn't care about Katara," he said instead, thoughtful. "I couldn't put together in my heart and my mind how someone as noble and honest as you wouldn't care about hurting someone else this way. Especially, someone that you care about. But you weren't at fault. I was. You _knew_ when coming into this, this meaning you and me, and I didn't. You're a better person than I am."

Why was he getting into self reflection and guilt trips now? He had a lifetime for that thing!

"That's not true," she dismissed him, wondering when did the burden shift from his girlfriend cheating on him to him cheating on his girlfriend. "I would annihilate the sandbenders if I could and you wouldn't."

"That's different. That's the greater good. I'm the Avatar, I'm supposed to do the greater good. But this, this is the _small _good. You're great at the day-to-day small good that makes life worth living. Anyone can be good at a grand scale, but it's hard to be good at the small scale."

"Aang, focus. I've no idea how we ended having this conversation, but I'm not good. You know it. I'm not sweet, motherly or perfect. I don't play coy, and I don't take crap from anyone. If I was good, neither Kuei nor the Fish would be obsessed with me."

He came closer, and now she understood that whatever was going on inside the tattoo on his forehead would not result on him going glowy on her or anyone. At least not right now.

"You're good. You're also sincere, loyal, decent and funny. You make me feel alive." He caressed her cheek. "I always knew that you were not made for 'maybe's and 'what if's. But I didn't understand until now what that means."

Well this was unexpected.

"Okay, I'm confused. Does this mean that you are winning this thing for me?"

"You won't be free," Aang said instead.

"It doesn't matter, really. I can always try to escape. Maybe not the vengeful Gods, but I'll think of something."

"You won't be able to escape the Gods."

She shrugged. She didn't want to talk about that.

"I'll deal with that when it comes. The way I see this is a mathematical exercise. Why make everyone unhappy when only one person would do? It's economically efficient."

His thoughts were someplace else, because he did not paid attention to her answer. He was paying attention to her. She could feel the intensity with which he was studying every gesture, every expression.

"What about us?" he asked in place of an answer.

"What?"

"What about us? I'm not promising anything until I know about us."

"What about it? Last night you implied that there was no 'us'. I mean, that there won't be any 'us' because I'm doomed one way or the other." She felt resentment resurfacing again, so she had to add. "You called me a tramp. So why are you talking in plural terms now?"

She heard him moving and realized in a moment that he was kneeling. He hugged her waist and buried his face on her stomach. She did not hug him back.

"I am so, so, so, sorry for everything I said last night. I'm deeply embarrassed. I was jealous and stupid. And I called you something I knew to be false. I give you my word that I _will never _insult you again. You see, I know you. You are a one man woman. And I know that's the case, because the day you decide otherwise you will tell me to my face first. That's just the way you are and I would not have it any other way." He then added in a tiny whisper, "I should have known that you were helping Suki. The make-up looked too good."

She made a frown.

"What do you mean?"

His face was still buried on her stomach, so his voice came mumbled.

"You're blind. You've no idea how to put make-up on." She felt him raising his head and looking at her. "You look better without it anyway. You don't need it."

She did not answer. She was kind of annoyed about the comment of her being bad at make-up.

"What about us, Toph?" he insisted. She shrugged, at loss for words. What about them? Were they even a possibility?

"Why are you with me, Toph? You're not the kind to do things like this on a whim." He stopped, and corrected, "Well, maybe you are. But not like this. Not as deep as this. You don't give yourself easily. And you haven't been holding anything back with me. What were _you_ doing, Toph?"

"The same thing you were. Research."

"Is that what you call it now?"

"No, that's what _you_ called it -" She stopped and then added, honestly and tiredly, "That's what we both called it." Toph shook her head, blinked a couple of times to chase the tears away, and then asked, again. "Are you winning this one for me?"

"Are you asking me as your friend?"

"And as the Avatar. It's your job to keep balance and peace. You winning will ensure both."

His voice was tinted with sadness when he said:

"That's the wrong answer, _Toph_."

She bit her lip and raised her chin.

"Then, I'm asking you as your lover, _Aang_."

He pulled away from her, stood up and she heard him cross his arms. She could feel the emotion coming from him and breaking down, _again_, any scrap of self protection she may had left.

"I … I'm not ... It's not like I … like we have many options, you know," she said finally, a bit irritated. It was easier when she was angry. Now she was only sad. "Listen, I'm willing to continue with the research as long as it doesn't mean losing my head. That means meeting in dark corners and stuff. The Dai Li would probably write long reports about me disappearing often. Anyway, Kuei likes to be manhandled, so I can insult him every day and make him happy enough that he will not try to put me in the stupid wooden cell. Let him try, anyway. He's capable of imprisoning my parents to force me do things, but whatever. Eventually, I will have to explain to Kuei why his little earthbenders fly, though, but that's okay. He knows this is coming, I warned him myself."

She heard a thud. Probably Aang's jaw dropping to the floor. She was impatient now.

"Well, Twinkle Toes, are you helping your friends and your favorite research subject or not?"

"What you said about the little earthbenders …"

"Like you are not planning to establish a harem as soon as I say festival? You will have your one thousand wives with whom to plan your festivals, and would come to visit me for research purposes every so often. You see, problem solved. Your race restored, Zuko and Katara sail into the sunset, and I will be so entertained teaching my little flying benders how to earthbend that life would go in a whisper. Are you helping or not?"

He closed the gap between them embracing her and kissing her. Intensely. So intense that when she reacted she was against a wall, her hands full of monk. Very eager monk.

"Are we starting with the flying earthbenders now?" she asked, "because really we don't have much time."

"I'll win this one for you," he said, "under one condition."

"Which is?"

"Only flyingbenders. You can only have flyingbenders."

"Don't be dense. I'm proposing adultery and scandal, not monogamy. You've no leverage to make any demands."

"If I win," and she wondered how could he speak so clearly considering where his mouth was, "only flyingbenders."

She decided to let that one go.

"Take it with Kuei," she shrugged while he kept kissing her. "He hired you. You're his problem, not mine."

He stopped and grabbed her hands, putting them on his face.

"You said that I don't know the difference between love and lust. I wish we were back in the Spirit World so you could see my face while I say this to you. But this is the best we can do right now. I love you. You rock my world. You do. And not only because you throw boulders at me for fun." Her fingers trembled while seeing his face with them. "You are my Sifu. You taught me how to earthbend and how to love. You made me a man. And I love _you_."

She felt her lip trembling but he stopped the trembling with his own lips.

"How can you love someone as flawed as me, I have no idea," he said on her mouth. She grasped that one, he was affirming that she loved him, and two, that one of the conclusions he was reaching was wrong.

"If you were perfect, I wouldn't be with you." She said. "Perfect people give me the creeps. There's usually something wrong with them."

"I try to be good all the time. But when I'm with you, I feel that I can behave badly and the world won't come to an end." She felt the prick of his intense stare on her face. "The monks used to say that you don't always get what you want, but that if you're _really _lucky, you get what you need."

Toph threw her arms around his neck. This time she didn't had to tell him how much she loved him in her head. This time she told him aloud_._

* * *

_The monks last line of wisdom: The Rolling Stones. It is a well known fact in certain circles, that they are airbenders from the Northern Air Temple._


	29. Final Task, Agni Kai

**XXIX. Final Task, Agni Kai **

* * *

They were walking, holding hands, having another interesting conversation.

"Well, technically I don't need you to win anything for me. I can just accept Kuei and call the entire Agni Kai off."

"No, you won't."

"Why not? I don't need your permission to accept my royal suitor."

"Because then you would be giving up without a fight. That's not you."

"I'm confused. I'm not fighting in the Agni Kai, and regardless who wins, the results are bad. Let's shortcut the entire thing."

"No."

"Why?"

"Trust me."

"It's this a '_lets get even with Zuko_' thing? If what you want is to slap Zuko around a bit, I completely get it. I would also be into kicking his butt if I were you."

"I don't believe in retaliation."

"So you say."

He stopped.

"We are almost here. Don't accept Kuei yet. You can always accept him if I don't win the Agni Kai. He's the challenger and you can convince Zuko to withdraw his proposal."

"I know there's a Plan B that you're not telling me about."

"So? It's this entire '_I'm accepting Kuei_' thing your attempt at blackmailing me into telling you?"

"Maybe."

"I'm not telling you anything. Live with it."

Toph shrugged. The powerful boyfriend (albeit clandestine), that was cool. The stubborn boyfriend part, that was _not that _cool.

"Don't think for a minute that just because I'm emotionally vulnerable right now with facing my doom and all, that you're completely forgiven for last night." She said in retaliation.

Aang kissed her openly.

"I know."

She still hesitated. She wanted to say something else, anything, before having to go into that hall and face reality. An extra moment, lingering, to hold onto her previous life.

"Every time I ask you to do something for me, you do exactly the contrary. I asked you to lose the first task, you won. I asked you to do the cheese poem, you did a good poem. I asked you to lose the day of the Ebi, you won," she stopped. "Maybe I should grant you that you had no choice with the last one, but still. Don't keep your track record. You need to win today." A pause. "Please."

He caressed her cheek before leaning his forehead against hers.

"You're nervous. You're picking up fights with me because you're nervous. Don't be. We are on this together. We both have the same amount at stake."

"Same amount of what?"

"Heartache."

He kissed her again before he started walking towards the hall, still holding her hand. Toph removed it. He didn't seem surprised at the gesture, just grabbed her hand again. She raised an eyebrow. What happened with keeping up appearances?

"Regardless of Zuko and Katara, there may be a conflict of interests here," she told him. Aang ignored her, and crossed the entrance still holding her hand. She heard people around them, the voices of Hakoda and Iroh, and then rush of feet and someone who hugged her tight. Katara. Toph hugged her back.

"I need to talk to you," they both said at the same time. Aang intervened.

"Good morning Katara," he said placidly, hugging the waterbender as well. Toph was in shock. All her years hanging out with this guy and he was redefining every concept out there for her. Including the word _modernity. _"I'm going to talk to Chief Hakoda and the other Elders. You two catch up." He kissed Toph's hand and she heard him walking away.

Katara took her other hand and practically dragged her away to a corner to talk in private.

"Katara," Toph started first, fast, needing to tell her the truth before Katara found out from someone else. "I know about the sacred vows of the Fire Sages. I'm not bringing you guys down with me. I just talked to Aang and I'm sorry about betraying your confidence, but I told him about you and Zuko. He knows. I asked him to win the Agni Kai for me. I'm sorry, but it's for the best."

"Toph, Aang knows about Zuko and me," Katara told her, her voice calm.

"What? Since when?"

"Last night. He broke up with me last night."

"What are you talking about?"

"He came over to my room. Late. He was really upset. And dumped me. He said that we were doing each other a disservice. That I needed him to need me, and that until recently he thought that he needed me to cuddle him." Toph was speechless. What was it with the mystery monk?

"He didn't say anything this morning! There must be more to that!"

"There is. Yesterday, Zuko had decided anyway that doing the right thing meant telling Aang the truth, for good or worse. When Aang came to my room, Zuko was there. Everything came out in the open."

"Wait. Was he angry?"

"Aang? I honestly don't know if that the word I should use. I mean, he wasn't happy. He was overwhelmed and very upset. And yes, there was fury, but it had a different overtone to it. I can't really explain it. But after the first shock wore off, and after ugly things were said, he seemed relieved. We all were. There's something to say for honesty."

Toph shook her head. Something was not making sense.

"Wait, he said that he saw you and that you were crying and that he promised you to take you away."

"That was earlier. We had just found out about the Fire Sages and that technically, Zuko wouldn't be able to dissolve any marriage he gets into. And then Aang showed up in my room and I was alone, crying, and he tried to make me feel better. I was really sad, you see: it meant either you or us. And we can't do something like this to you." Katara stopped and Toph felt her studying her closely. "You guys are together, aren't you?"

Toph shrugged.

"Zuko kept telling me that you were. Something about knowing you too well, but I couldn't believe it. I mean … Aang? He's a pacifist vegetarian monk who flies. I cannot think of someone less like you in the entire world."

"I make him laugh," Toph said simply. "And he makes me tingle. We both have 'Hidden Depths'." She stopped and then added, "Now it makes sense why he was so calm this morning. I thought that he was in shock, but he already knew about you two."

She heard Katara making a small sound.

"It was horrible but liberating at the same time to tell you the truth. He didn't mention you, though. After the initial surprise and rage wore off, he just kept banging his head against his staff and repeating again and again that he was stupid. And then he wanted to talk about today and the Agni Kai."

Toph raised a hand to interrupt her.

"Yeah, about that. I don't want Zuko to win this Agni Kai. We should call the entire thing off. I told Aang that I can accept Kuei and stop the nonsense, but he doesn't want me to. I'm telling you so you know, I'm not marrying you two. For real. Even if Zuko wins. I'd rather die. Better one casualty than many. It's economically efficient," she repeated, more to herself than to the world.

"Well, Zuko and Aang _are _fighting this for real. I mean, Aang was adamant. He told Zuko that they both need to do a reasonable effort on this Agni Kai. Aang made Zuko promise him. He gave his word."

"I'm getting really fed up with the mystery here. Either someone tells me what's going on or I'm accepting Kuei right now …"

"You're not." Aang's voice next to her was calm but final. He grabbed her hand again. "Come, this is about to start and you need to sit next to Chief Hakoda. Katara will keep you company and tell you anything that you may not be able to see."

Before she could protest anymore or throw a tantrum, he walked her resolutely where the Elders were. She heard Iroh coming closer to give her a hug.

"My friend!" He whispered in her ear, "What's with the hand holding with the Avatar?"

"I can't see in the snow," she answered. It was the truth. Not the applicable one to the question, but a truth nonetheless.

"I don't remember him helping you to see before," Iroh insisted. She pushed him slightly to shut him up. She heard him chuckle, but he also squeezed her arm a little to offer as much support as to express his concern. Aang guided her somewhere to sit down, and she felt Katara sitting down next to her. Before walking away Aang put something in her hands. His staff.

"Keep this for me, okay?" he requested, and she read something hidden in his voice. A plea. His staff was an agreement between them, a token. She smiled.

"I will," Toph said, and Aang squeezed her hand before walking away.

She felt Hakoda on her other side, who patted her hand before silence fell on the Hall. She then heard Bato's clear baritone:

"Chief Hakoda of the Now Unified Southern Water Tribes opens the Eleventh Session of the General Assembly of the First Official Peace Summit since the End of the One Hundred Year Old War Started by the Fire Nation. The First Order of Things is the Announcement of the Fourth Task of the Contest of the Frosts, also known as the Bonus Task. Being the Third Task declared won by Suitor Kuei, 52nd Earth King, represented by his Champion, Avatar Aang The Last Airbender, with extra points for saving everyone's lives from The Ebi, and being the Second Task won by Fire Prince Zuko, Crown Prince of the Fire Nation, and being that both suitors reached a draw on the First Task; a Bonus-Final Task aimed at breaking the draw between the Suitors is required. Master Firebender Jeong-Jeong retired from the contest after losing the Third Task."

Chief Hakoda next to her stood up and addressed the hall.

"The Fourth Task is a Duel. Taking into consideration the cultural heritage of His Highness Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation, the chosen form of the duel is an Agni Kai. For those of you non versant on Fire Nation customs, Agni Kai is the name for fire duels, and any firebender, male or female, may participate. It is possible for the opponents to fight to the death and the outcome affects the honor of both duelists. It's also considered a source of entertainment for spectators in the Fire Nation. That said, _these_ are the rules of this Agni Kai: First, its only objective is to break the draw on the Contest of the Frosts and whomever wins the Agni Kai wins the maiden. Second, the honor of neither the Crown Prince, nor the Avatar's is at stake here. Losing this Agni Kai does not mean, I repeat, please scribes, attorneys and public in general, write this down clearly, _**does not **_mean losing honor. Third, this fight is _not _to the death. The goal in Agni Kai duels is to knock an opponent off-balance, and incapacitate, sometimes fatally, with a final blow. The favored finishing move seems to be a direct fire blast to the face. In this case, and in this duel, there won't be fatal finishing blows or balls of fire to the eyes. In this case, knocking the opponent out of balance twice ends the duel. Also, Avatar Aang is master of all elements, but he would only be able to use firebending in this duel. If he uses any other kind of bending he forfeits and Prince Zuko wins by default. Finally, as this is not the Fire Nation, we need to move outside for the Agni Kai to take place, because doing it indoors may cause the ceiling to collapse."

Polite applause followed Hakoda's words and Toph felt Katara's hand on her arm. Someone covered her with a thick fur and she found herself walking to the outside, the chill breeze on her face, marking her own steps with T.T.'s staff. She couldn't see in the snow, but she had the impression they were walking towards the shore, because she could smell the sea in the breeze and she could hear the crashing of the waves. Katara guided her to a seat, and when she touched it, she realized it was the metal sleigh Sokka had built for her.

"You'll be able to see sitting on this," Katara told her in a low voice. "I may need to run in case any of them get hurt."

"I still think this is an exercise in futility, but I do appreciate the entertainment value of these two kicking each other's butts for real. Finally, I mean." Toph accommodated herself in the sleigh, wrapped the furs tight around her and put the staff on her knees. "Sparky totally deserves some slapping for the years of anguish he put T.T. through and for stealing his woman. T.T. totally deserves some slapping for being so dense and immature."

Katara sat next to her in the sleigh.

"I agree. Maybe this will help them get some stuff out of their systems and we all can continue with our lives, being good friends."

Toph grabbed her hand.

"We _are _good friends. Only good friendships can survive the assaults to honesty and morality of the last couple of weeks. I mean, finding happiness among all the lies, cheating, and deceit? This must be good happiness."

"Hardcore."

"Totally hardcore."

She heard someone coming closer and coughing politely.

"Great Master," Kuei said with his deceivingly naive voice. "A word." From the height of her sleigh, covered in furs, Toph thought that she may look regal, so she made a regal gesture with her hand. She may as well start practicing now.

"Speak," she ordered. Kuei obeyed immediately.

"Great Master, I want to apologize if my actions made you unhappy and for any other unpleasantness you may had to go through during these days. When I saw that lobster trying to eat you yesterday, I felt ashamed and promised myself that I would spend the rest of my life making it up to you."

Regal Toph made another royal gesture, this time a charitable one.

"Call this off, and you are forgiven," she said in a majestic voice.

"But we're so close at making it, you and me! I can't call this off, I would lose you."

Regal Toph gave way to Slumlady.

"Bugger off your miserable idiot, out of my way before I crush you like a worm."

Katara intervened.

"Earth King, I beseech you. This is not the right moment. Let's wait after the Agni Kai."

Kuei left, Toph could see him, his vibrations, walking in the snow. His footsteps were heavy ones.

"He was looking at you with Aang before. And he was looking at the staff just now." Katara said. "A weird expression on his face."

"Last thing I need, a jealous stalking fiancé. That Twinkles! He sucks at timing. He decides today that I'm not going to be his secret anymore." Toph thought for a second. "Probably my fault, I told him last night that he was acting like my parents, hiding me. I should have known that such a comment will be haunting him for the next several years." She sighed. "Honestly, I think that it was me who was hiding _him_, at least at the beginning, but now is a toss up."

Katara grabbed her hand again.

"It's going to be hard to remember who knows which secrets and who doesn't." Her voice changed. "Wait, it's starting. Zuko and Aang just came into the arena. Well, it's an ice arena, not a sand one, but you get my drift."

Toph heard the screams and sighs of the fangirls in the audience.

"Are they without shirts?"

"No, this is the South Pole. This is a fully dressed Agni Kai."

"Bummer."

"Aang and Zuko are now on opposite sides of the arena, kneeling, facing away from each other. They have some sort of brown cloth around their necks."

Toph heard Hakoda's voice:

"_Begin!_"

"They're assuming a fighting stance now, the cloths fall to the ground. Wow, Aang is attacking first, a wave of fire shooting from his fist!"

Toph could see some of what Katara was narrating. Vibrations on the snow were not like vibrations on earth, where she could see everything, _face _expressions included. Seeing through the metal and the ice was like seeing through a sheer cloth, you could make up the big movements, but the devil was in the details. She could see Zuko jumping back to avoid the wave of fire, and the sure movement of his hands creating an arc of fire and going down to the ground, palms together and pointed like an arrow, the tips of the fingers trailing an attack of fire on the ice. Aang received the surge of fire deflecting it with his arms while jumping back, almost losing his balance. Toph understood that Aang was facing a serious disadvantage. He was by nature an airbender, and having to be agile without airbending had to be particularly hard because it meant going against his nature. She couldn't imagine going against her own nature in any way, particularly if her bending was involved, so seeing Aang jumping like a normal person and not like an airbender was disturbing. Zuko noticed the hesitation, and started attacking, throwing blast after blast, while Aang was retreating trying not to lose ground. In a surprise gesture, Zuko suddenly put both fists together and sent a powerful discharge against Aang, aimed at his chest, that the airbender barely deflected, losing footing and falling on his back.

"Hey!!" Toph yelled from her sleigh, jumping to her feet. "Watch it, Sparky! NO BURNING!" Katara tugged at her dress, to get her to sit. "Don't shush me Sugar Queen, your fireguy over there is attacking my airguy! THAT'S NASTY!!"

"Toph, that's the entire purpose of the duel, you silly! SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!"

Zuko pressed the advantage of Aang on the ground, and jumped like the cat he was almost on top of the airbender, when Aang somersaulted on his hands, scissoring his legs and sending a wave of fire against Zuko's ankles, who lost balance and fell on the ground, on his back.

"That's it T.T.! PAY HIM BACK!" Katara next to her groaned.

"You're hopeless!" she said to Toph, and grabbing the earthbender's hand put something round on it. "Three copper pieces that my fireguy beats you airguy!"

"You're on Sugarcakes! Let's make this interesting, if my airguy beats your fireguy I _choose_ both your wedding present and my bridesmaid's dress!"

"And if my fireguy wins, you get to be my slave for one whole day!"

"You're _such _a copycat! I thought of that one first!"

Zuko had jumped back on his feet as fast as Aang had, and they were now circling each other, their hands poised on attack/defense positions. She couldn't see the expressions on their faces, but Katara next to her made a little sound.

"Why are they smirking?" She asked aloud to herself. Rapidly, Zuko attacked first, rotating on himself, sending flare after flare with his feet, in a movement that got Katara breathing shallow. "Those are Azula's attack movements!" she said in horror and appreciation at the same time. Aang, like the born airbender he was, was moving in mirror movements to those of Zuko deflecting flare after flare, but holding off his attack. Among the multiple quiet conversations Toph and Aang had on each other arms sheltered by the night, one had been focused on the fact that airbending lacked a finishing blow. Aang loathed the idea of developing one, so Toph suggested to borrow from the other three. Aang had concluded that the only finishing blow he was interested in was one that incapacitated his opponent without harming him or her. And of course without having to resort to such drastic measures as energy bending. Toph had said that whatever the final result, you cannot have a finishing blow _without _attacking. It would seem that she was right, because deflecting was getting Aang nowhere in this duel. And regardless of the fact that she didn't want any of them to win, she didn't want Twinkles, _her _Twinkles, to lose. She could feel both him and Zuko panting, but no one was giving in. Unexpectedly, Katara next to her said:

"Momo? Why is Momo flying towards here?" For a second the lemur must have distracted the duelists, because both of them hesitated for a second, before Aang jumped like a cat too, making a circular movement with his hands so powerful that Zuko barely had the chance to block it from his chest, before being thrown several feet away and landing forcefully on his back. Toph heard the thud his head made against the ice and heard Katara's gasp and mumble a curse before the waterbender jumped from her seat and ran on the snow to check on the firebender.

Toph heard Chief Hakoda's raising voice among the cheers and the boos, fangirls with different affiliations resorting to blows to solve the discrepancies.

"This match is now over!" Hakoda bellowed. "And the winner is …"

He couldn't finish the phrase, drowned by the voice of his own son coming from above.

"DAD!" Sokka yelled, his voice circling, carried by the wind. "I HAVE A MESSAGE FOR THE EARTH KING, DAD!!"

Toph realized that Sokka must be on Appa, and she felt the pitter-patter of feet, big and small, running to surround the ice arena. Toph apprehended that these were Kyoshis and fire soldiers, in full battle regalia, assuming fighting positions around the arena. She felt Appa landing in the middle of the ice, and heard Sokka unsheathing his sword. Someone jumped from Appa into the ice and ran to where she was. Suki, those were Suki's steps. The warrior jumped on the sleigh next to her.

"Be ready, Toph!" her friend said. "Here it comes!"

"Kuei!" Sokka yelled. "Look what we have here!"

"NOOO!" Toph heard Kuei's cry, full of horror and despair. "BOSCO, NOOO!!"

"Fan-Girl, what's going on?" Toph couldn't see or hear the bear, so she assumed the animal was on top of Appa.

"We kidnapped Bosco! We took advantage that everyone was distracted by the Agni Kai and that the bear likes Ty Lee! It followed her and then we tied it up and gagged it. Kuei is in distress because Bosco is covered in ropes and gagged with a piece of cloth on its mouth!"

"AWESOME, FAN-GIRL!" Toph clapped, delighted. Sorry for Bosco, but Kuei deserved it.

"Kuei!" Sokka yelled again. "Bosco has a message for you: 'Back down from the challenge or I get it!'"

Suki whispered in her ear.

"Sokka just put his sword against Bosco's neck!"

She heard Kuei's voice, for once authoritative and almost stately.

"NO! That's not right! AVATAR! Make them stop this right now!"

Aang's voice was powerful and unruffled.

"No."

"What do you mean 'No'? You are the Avatar, you don't uphold with cruelty to animals!"

"I don't uphold with cruelty to women either." Swiftly, Aang's voice was a couple of octaves deeper and stronger. Ultimate-sounding, like a closing statement or a declaration of war. He sounded like an Avatar. "Back down the challenge, Earth King, or I will personally make sure that you don't ever see Bosco again."

"I'm the Earth King, I cannot be treated like this!"

Lu Shi's voice broke the exchange.

"The Earth King personally considers this to be a breach of the …"

"SILENCE!" Aang's words were final, and Toph chose that moment to jump on her seat and yell:

"Here, Twinkles, take this!" She was about to throw him his staff, when Suki took it from her hands and threw it for her.

"You're blind," the warrior reminded her casually. "You could have killed someone with that thing."

Aang, with his staff now in hand, stomped it on the ice. She could feel the raw power emanating from him. A gust of wind hit her in the face, and she could feel people turning and covering their faces. She felt his weight leaving the ground and heard Sokka's voice yelling above the whirlwind.

"_He's going glowy on you, Kuei, you are SO busted!" _

Kuei tried to protest, but Aang's voice, mixed with thousand other voices, male and female, and all of them equally forbidding, interrupted him:

"Kuei, 52nd Earth King, I hereby declare our covenant fulfilled! I did the tasks and kept the Avatar's honor, Kyoshi's pledge is satisfied. But hear me well: you chose to squander a powerful promise on a Contest of Misery, with regret as its only outcome. As such, I _promise _you that neither you, nor anyone else in your family, will again challenge the Avatar's authority or will try to manipulate ancient covenants in your favor. If you retract the challenge and relinquish the maiden, in exchange, I will show mercy to your bear."

Kuei was not budging that easily.

"NO. YOU WON! THAT MEANS I WIN! I'M NOT BACKING DOWN!"

"KUEI!" The full force of the Avatar was like an explosion that send people flying across the snow. Toph heard cracks in the ice, going all the way to the shore, and the crashing of the waves became rowdy, like when Katara was in _that _time of the month. She couldn't see, but she could feel the fear, the awe and the voices of people gasping and whispering:

"_The bear is flying! He's making the bear twirl around!_"

His multiple-layered voice was potent.

"CHOOSE! The Bear or the Maiden?"

Suki gasped.

"He just removed the bear's gag with a single movement of his hand! Wow, look at those tattoos glowing, he looks so… sexy?" Suki covered her own mouth, in utter shock. "Sexy and Aang in the same sentence? What's happening to the order of things in the universe?"

Toph heard the bear making noises, almost like pleading whimpers, trying to call his master for help and even she, who was a formidable warrior, felt anguish in her heart at hearing the bear stuttering with fear.

Kuei whined, the sight of his bear twirling in the air too much to behold, and suddenly yelled back:

"I BACK DOWN! I back down the challenge! BOSCO! GIVE ME MY BOSCO!!"

Suddenly the wind, the roars, and the cracks stopped. The gale force winds retreated as fast as they had appeared. She heard a thud and realized that it was the bear, deposited next to Kuei, who jumped at the bear's neck and started crying and kissing the animal, telling him how sorry he was. She also heard the ice mending, like magic. She could see the fluid movements of Aang's body mending the ice, and she felt grateful for the memory of his face, flushed with emotion, in the Spirit World. She then heard his normal voice, leveled and clear, across the snow.

"I claim Great Master Bei Fong as mine."

Rustle of feet, voices, and Suki gasped next to her. She then heard Kuei, sounding offended now.

"You cannot do that! You are my champion! You don't get to steal the prize of the contest you were contracted to win!"

"I can if you withdraw your suit first, which you did. You were never declared the winner, and I won the tasks. So I'm declaring myself officially a suitor. You've got your bear, Earth King, you should be thankful that not harm came to it." Toph knew him well, he was totally making that one up. Bosco's life was never in danger from the Avatar, but people around him didn't know that. She realized that he was doing exactly what they discussed: you don't have to exercise violence to inspire fear. "Anyway, there are no rules in this Contest. Except this one: I win the contest, I win the maiden. I lay my claim on her."

"Pst, Toph," Suki whispered in her ear. "The monk is talking like you're lost chattel. Why are you smiling? I thought you hated that."

"Don't you get it? Like romance depends on the idiot, the claim depends on the claimant!" She started jumping on her seat, waiving her hand happily. "Here, here T.T., claim me, claim me!"

Chief Hakoda tried to salvage the dignity of the situation.

"The Avatar is right. The King withdrew his claim before a winner was declared, thus if the Avatar is proposing his name forward, I'm happy to declare him the winner of the Contest. Avatar, the Maiden belongs to you."

She could hear people whispering around her-

"_Isn't the Avatar engaged to marry Chief Hakoda's daughter?_"

"_Yeah, I spent, like, 20 copper pieces in the wedding gift!_"

"_By the Spirits, isn't the blind girl her best friend or something? What a floozy!_"

Some fan girls were screaming in despair-

"_She's stealing the Avatar! She's, like, claiming him as hers!_" Toph was deeply offended at _that _last comment_._

No one seemed to notice that the jilted bride was the same wanton Water Tribe wench that was all over the Crown Prince of the firebenders. Everybody was too busy feeling offended on her behalf, that they just assumed that the woman eating the prince's face was a lucky fangirl taking advantage of the situation.

"That can't be!" Lu Shi said from somewhere close to Hakoda. "There was a covenant, the Earth King has legal resources and he demands an appeal!"

She heard Chief Hakoda with a voice as sharp as a sword.

"These are the Southern Water Tribes, Counselor. We're an evolved society, therefore we don't do attorneys. Our laws are simple: My word is final and there are no appeals. So, if I say that the Contest is won and the Maiden belongs to the Avatar, that's _absolute._ The King's covenant with the Avatar is a separate matter and has no bearing on the results of the Contest." Hakoda clapped once. "The Contest of the Frosts is over. Avatar, go get your maiden before anything else happens." Toph heard Hakoda's lowering his voice. "Ah, by the way, I think I speak for the family when I declare you officially free of any negotiation, engagement or commitment to my daughter. Yep, look at her. Please accept my apologies in the name of the family, you're completely free, Avatar."

Aang airbended himself to where Toph was and opened his arms to her, calling her. She jumped from the sleigh into his arms to hug him back. He mumbled in her ear, while caressing her hair:

"I think Fate loaded the dice because in a fleeting minute you exploded inside me."

She moved a bit, to whisper back.

"I'm irresistible. What else did you expect would happen when you decided to play the kissing ninja with me? It's totally your fault."

She felt his smile against her head.

"It totally is."

Suki, next to them, standing on the sleigh was looking at the scene like they had grown tentacles.

"Whaa? Since when?"

Toph could hear Sokka faintly on the back.

"_Katara!! Why are you taking advantage of Zuko like that? Can't you see the guy is injured? And what's with the kissing? Aren't you two like dating other people?"_

But then Toph heard something else. The ice was cracking again. And this was not Aang's cracking, this was 'bad-news' cracking, 'Gods-going-apocalyptical' cracking. Aang was _fast. _Before she had a chance to say anything, he bended her to where Appa was and deposited her on top of the flying bison. But instead of staying with her, he went back to the snow. Appa stayed on the ground, moving around on its six legs, avoiding the fissures on the ice. Toph heard the voices of Suki, Yin and Sokka yelling orders to Kyoshis, fire soldiers, and water warriors about protecting civilians and moving people away from the shore and towards the inner village. She then _saw_ them. It was not a feeling, it was _seeing_. She could discern, not in the permanent darkness or her eyes, but among her senses, the celestial figures of Yue and Agni, doing something. Bending. Bending back whatever La was unbending, probably, because Yue looked distressed. Agni's handsome face was concentrating on something that had nothing to do with fire. Toph instinctively knew that it had to do with controlling La's power. She heard Zuko's voice, "_Katara, Toph!_" Someone jumped on Appa's saddle next to her.

"Can you see them?"' Katara asked. Toph nodded. "They seem to be protecting us!" The waterbender added. Toph grabbed her arm. She knew that Katara had been sent to help protect _her_, and even though her pride may hurt a little, Toph's mom raised no fool (well, the nannies). When dealing with angry gods on ice, a skilled waterbender may come handy.

"What's Aang doing?" Toph asked.

"I'm not sure, he's making hand signals to someone! Wait, I see it now. It's Chin, he's running in this direction carrying scrolls, paintbrushes and ink!"

Toph heard Zuko's voice next to Sokka, getting people to run to safety. She then remembered the end of the Agni Kai.

"How's Zuko injury?"

"He's fine. Not even a bump. He likes to play the victim when I'm around, to make sure I heal him and kiss his boo-boos away. Total kid. Wait, Aang is doing something. He's standing in the middle of the ice and raising his staff. He's calling for something."

"LA!" Toph heard Aang's voice, as clear as water. "LA, I CALL ON YOU!"

Toph felt it. The snow and the ice started to raise, in a whirlwind and then she saw it, the same way she could see the other two gods. She could discern the whirlwind turning into a Fish made of snow and ice, that was translucent and glowed. It hovered over the ice arena, as big as the Ebi, facing the small mortals.

"Avatar," it said with its watery voice. "You're playing tricks on me. The Maiden was not supposed to be yours."

"Honorable La," Aang answered, and Toph could seem him in her mind's eye, leaning casually on his staff. "It was not a trick. The Earth King withdrew the challenge. There's nothing against me stepping on his place."

"You _forced_ him to withdraw."

"Are you accusing me of unclean hands, Honorable La?"

"I am, Avatar. I don't take kindly to pretensions of cleverness."

"If that's the case, then, can I assume that unclean hands is your reason for breaking the agreement with the Tribes and threatening their destruction even though everything was done properly? I mean, there was a Contest, and there was a winner. The only variable that differs is that the maiden will not be miserable with me. I will even dare to say that she, _we, _will be very happy."

"You are smart, Avatar. You know that shrewdness does not go well with the immortals." Toph saw the Fish starting to gather his powers, moving its fins, and saw that both Yue and Agni had almost painful expressions on their faces, trying to control it. Katara next to her whispered.

"The Fish is going glowy on Aang, Toph! I think it's going to blow up!"

Toph had a sudden epiphany. It had to do with Tlatli and Fate's busybody natures, yes, but also with the fact that deep down she was an optimist and knew that Gods, like mortals, liked to save face.

Toph jumped on her feet and screamed at the top of her lungs.

"DRAGON KINGS, GODDESS FORTUNA, IMMORTALS! I CALL ON YOU TO JUDGE!"

Where that came from, she had no idea. Seriously. It just felt like the right thing to say at the moment, with a massive cantankerous Fish about to go barbaric on her hunky and adorable monk.

"Toph, can you see them?" Katara panted next to her. "They are appearing, one by one, sitting in the middle of the sky!"

Toph moved her head, and then she saw them and felt them at the same time. The gods were sitting on a semicircle in the air, the Dragons in the middle, flanked by Fate, Tlatli, Baby Love, the Jackal, Dionny, even the God of Small and Annoying Things was sitting on the far left, his nose pinched, perpetually aggravated.

"Mortals." Toph heard Long Dragon's elegant voice. "We have been called to judge. What are we judging?"

Before Toph could scream '_The Fish's lousy attitude_' Katara was fast putting her hand over her mouth and effectively shutting her up. Aang's voice carried across to the immortals. He still kept the non-threatening, almost amused tone he used before with the Fish.

"Immortals." (Katara next to her explained '_He's bowing._') "The Honorable Immortal La and myself seem to have a different take on a serious problem."

"Speak, Avatar. We promise you fairness in any ruling," Long Dragon said. Toph could see Black Dragon looking at all the mortals with concentrated eyes and chewing on something forcefully.

"You see, the Honorable La says that I'm not entitled to obtain the prize of a Contest that I won fair and square. The prize is my Maiden, that very pretty lady dressed in green you see over there, being held down by one of our mutual friends. The Honorable La says that I acted unethically because I convinced the Earth King to step down so I could step on his place. Now, as it has been explained to me, there is a principle that says that '_those seeking equity must do equity_' or to put it in other terms, '_equity must come with clean hands_'. I say to you that the Honorable La has _unclean hands _too. He cannot expect equity from me when he does not give any."

The Gods seemed interested. The Yellow Dragon leaned his body towards the mortals.

"So, it's your contention, Avatar, that La cannot invalidate your actions because he acted unethically first?"

"I do."

"Do you have proof of this?" the God of Small Things asked.

"No. I have a hunch."

"We cannot work on hunches, Avatar," Long Dragon said a bit dejected.

"Let's ask La," Aang said. "Honorable La, tell us. How come I got a hint in the Cave of Sorrows when no one else did? How come my friends could not bend when The Ebi went after us? These are the most powerful benders in the world. I should know, each of them was my teacher at some point. If they could not bend, it means foul play. Somehow you made sure that I won, and _that_ breaks the covenant first."

Fate was chewing on something, furiously.

"Is that true, La?" she said, irritated. "Are you such a lousy player that you need to cheat?"

The Fish hovered, really uncomfortable under his mother's stern gaze. That such small-shaped Goddess, delicately built like a porcelain doll, could install the fear of the Gods into such unsightly big Fish was something to behold.

"Mother, you promised you would not meddle in my business," La said, keeping a forbidding tone.

"I promised you that under the presumption that you would play fair, son. Do I need to oversee your play-dates like when you were a child? Now, cut it with the whining and tell the truth: Did you, by any chance, tried to tip the balance of the Contest in the favor of any of the suitors?"

La did not answer. Fate groaned.

"I can't believe this!" she mumbled, chewing energetically. Tlatli produced something, and made a gesture towards Agni. '_Here, Agni, quickly, light this!_' The fire God sent a flare that lit the thing and Tlatli, fast, shoved it in Fate's mouth. The irate Goddess suddenly stopped chewing, her eyes glazing. She took a long, calming puff, and then recovered her composure somewhat. "Listen, La," she said, inhaling feverishly. "I'm not going to get upset. Mommy Dearest promises, okay? Now, again, did you cheat?"

La crossed its fins in front of its chest, or at least tried to.

"Yes, Mommy Dearest, I did," the Fish said defiantly.

Fate had to be restrained by several Dragons, a sexy Goddess and a baby.

"You are an embarrassment on the family divinity business!!" she got to yell before Tlatli covered her mouth with both her hands.

"Okay, okay!" Long Sane Dragon intervened, raising his hands. "Avatar, you may have a point. If La acted with unclean hands first, equity claims that he cannot hold against you that you didn't acted by the book. The ruling is simple, the Avatar can keep the Prized Maiden as his and La cannot take revenge upon anyone." Long Dragon bowed, a deep bow. "I wish you happiness, Avatar. No, actually, I _ensure_ you happiness. Your Maiden and You are suited to each other in all aspects. We know, we have been watching you."

Aang voice carried like he was bowing deeply too.

"There's something else, oh venerable Dragons," he said, still nonchalant.

The Dragons seemed curious.

"Yes, Avatar?"

"The Covenant between La and the Water Tribes. The Covenant that protects the Tribes from the Ebi, that forces the Tribes to hold this Contest once it is invoked and that gives shelter to La's and Yue's mortal forms at the North Pole Oasis."

"What happens with that Covenant, Avatar?"

"That Covenant is broken, Honorable Dragon. It needs to be renegotiated."

Aang's word brought an angry response from the already irate Fish.

"You cannot meddle on my business with my Tribes, Avatar!" it threatened.

Katara made a low whistle in Toph's ear. "_Aang is standing tall now, Toph, to his full height. He looks very sure of himself. Almost like … Zuko. Oh, wow, Kuku has been teaching a lot of things to Aang!_"

"It has been explained to me, Honorable La, that once you choose to interfere with the Contest, you did something called '_Tortious Interference_'."

"What are you talking about, Avatar?" the God bellowed.

"I am not versant on contractual laws, Honorable La, but here is someone that can explain this to you."

Toph grabbed Katara's hand. '_Poor Chin!_' she whispered in the waterbender's ear, afraid for the health and sake of the happy-go-lucky Fire Nation soldier.

"Honorable Lu Shi, Esquire!" Aang called and Toph could have kissed him senseless right there. Highlighting unwelcoming legal advice in front of the Gods was the best comeuppance _any _attorney could get. "Please explain to the Honorable God La what do I mean by tortious interference."

She heard Lu Shi sputtering and stuttering like a faulty machine trying to start. Then, his professionalism took the better of him. And his arrogance, Lu Shi's greatest flaw.

"What the Avatar means, oh great God, is that when you intentionally damaged the Tribes' contractual business relationship with you, I mean, when the ability of one party to perform his obligations under the contract (that means the Water Tribes) was disrupted by the tortfeasor (that means you), thereby preventing the party (i.e. the Tribes) from receiving the performance promised, there has been a 'trespass on the case'."

La was as lost as everyone else in the audience, Gods included. Give it to an attorney to confuse even the divine immortals.

"Uh?" La said, eloquently.

"In conclusion, Honorable God, you interfered on purpose with the contract to the detriment of the Tribes, as it caused pain and suffering to those who did not know what was going on, and therefore you broke the covenant, which can be deemed terminated and the Tribes can claim damages."

Toph heard the ice cracking, the Fish screaming and gods rushing to restraint the Fish.

"I curse you and your children for the next ten generations!" La screamed at the attorney. Thankfully, not at the happy Avatar standing on one side.

Agni and Yue were holding the angry God down, stopping him from jumping at the attorney's neck.

"Damages? What do you mean by damages?" La was blaring.

Toph heard people climbing on Appa. Sokka, Suki, Zuko, Ty Lee, and even Chin.

"Er …" She heard Sokka say. "Things are starting to look nasty here. Aang can fly, but we need Appa for a proper retreat."

She then heard Aang shout.

"Momo, Tuerto, here!"

"What, what?" Toph asked.

"El Tuerto is carrying something on its beak," Sokka said. "It looks like parchment. Momo is just hanging to the bird." He turned to Suki. "That Momo is kinda clingy, isn't he? If El Tuerto dumps him we know why."

"La!" Aang called. "This is a simple test. If your actions do not invalidate the agreement, there's nothing I can do to this document. _However, _if by any chance what you did contravenes the spirit of the covenant and breaches it, the covenant is not longer valid and thus destructible."

"Wow!" Sokka said. "Aang just shot a blast of fire to that scroll, completely incinerating it. Nothing left. Just ashes on the wind."

Toph heard La's frustrated groans and she then saw that the two Gods holding the Fish down were also embracing him, consoling him. Yue was kissing the Fish's face.

"La," she was saying with her sweet, multi-layered voice. Toph understood that it was probably both their voices, Yue's and Tui's, on top of each other. "It's time to let go. Let it go, baby, it's not worth it."

This time Toph was faster than Katara.

"I gave you good advice, Fish!" she screamed. "Take it!!"

The Fish seemed to pay attention to her voice for a moment, and suddenly all the snow and the ice that formed the Fish dissolved in flurries that flew on the wind. La was gone. Yue looked at Agni, desolated, when something else happened. The whirlwind of snow started forming again and this time it kept coming and going, like a translucent dream that a mind dreamt once, but couldn't place. The whirlwind was taking a humanoid form, a hovering, floating humanoid form like Yue's and Agni's.

Toph heard Suki next to her gasp. In Total Shock.

"Oh by Kyoshi!"

"What, what?" Toph asked. Even if she could see and feel the Gods, it was not easy for her. It was still like looking through a sheer fabric, denying details.

"La … he looks like … Sokka! But improved. A bit taller, the hair a tad longer, with more muscle … and he's smirking! Like Agni's type smirk!"

Katara rushed to the warrior.

"Suki, Suki, breathe! You're hyperventilating. You need to breathe!"

Sokka, on the other hand, was deeply disturbed.

"What's that fish doing with my face and my body? Ah? How did he manage to get his hair to look like that? That's not fair! Oh, by the moon, what's _that God_ doing now? Is he holding Agni's hand? Someone STOP THIS, right now! Chin, aren't there any laws against a God appropriating my likeness and doing this? Don't I have Moral Rights or something?"

"Well, yes, Master Sokka, you do have Moral Rights, but these are Gods we are talking about. Not to leave you in the lurch or anything, but I'm not taking this case. Get another law school drop-out to help you here."

"Zuko, ZUKO! What's your grandpa doing to me, ah?"

"Sokka, Sokka, look at me! HERE! Those guys over there, those are _OTHER_ guys. You and me, we're MANLY. We don't hold hands. NO! Don't look at them! Wait, what the…? Oh, that's just disgusting! Grandpa, DON'T KISS THE FISH!"

Suki was crying.

"Lucky, lucky Moon," she sobbed. "Look at her, holdings both their hands, kissing both of them! And here I am, dealing with the Kyoshi Code. I hate my job!"

Toph heard Aang's voice.

"Gods, a new agreement is to be negotiated between the Water Tribes, La and Yue. Hereby I appoint the main negotiators from our side to this Agreement: Kanna and Katara Water Tribe. They will ensure that the agreement is fair and balanced." Toph heard Gran-Gran's voice in the distance. "_YES!! Finally!!_" 'Poor Fish,' she thought, and then remembered that Fish-Sokka was happily holding Yue's and Agni's hands, so there was not need for much pity.

She then heard Aang's airbending and felt the breeze that meant he was coming over. He landed in the middle of Appa, next to her. He grabbed Toph's arm.

"Ok guys, I need you dismount. Crisis had passed and the Tribes are safe. Katara," he said, slipping in a commanding tone so easily that Katara stood up in attention mode immediately. "Please negotiate with La the new covenant between the tribes, him and the Moon. Gran-Gran will be the main negotiator, but I need you to tone her down a bit, she will probably try to get the Gods to do the laundry and take out the garbage once a week. That won't do. Chin will help you. When the Gods are done kissing, of course. Ah, and please tell Sokka to stop threatening the gods with his sword. Those are not good negotiation skills. Why is Suki crying so hard? Hey, Sifu Hotman, are you OK? Katara, I think Zuko is about to throw up. I can't stay, I need to take Toph somewhere else so she can recover."

"Recover from what?" Katara asked when they were all in the ground, but Aang was already steering Appa away, out of earshot.

"From what I'm going to do her," he said in a low voice from Appa's head.

* * *

They were flying. Aang did not wait for the negotiations between Gran-Gran, Katara and La to start. He was sitting now next to her, grabbing her hand.

"Who's steering Appa?" Toph asked.

"He's in auto pilot," he answered. She shrugged, lost. Maybe that's what he called his psychic connection with the bison. Whatever.

She had to ask. She knew him too well.

"You were not really planning on killing that smelly animal, were you?"

"No, not me. But Sokka was."

She was amazed.

"And you were ready to let him do that? For me?" She was _sooo_ moved.

He scratched the back of his head, not answering. She opened her mouth flabbergasted. She _knew _him too well.

"Oh no!" Toph said shaking her head, _sooo_ un-moved now. "You were planning to keep that smelly animal hidden, weren't you? You wouldn't have killed that animal even if Kuei would have chosen me instead of Bosco!"

"Don't get so upset, Sifu T. I would have never let Kuei keep you instead of Bosco. I would have gone all glowy on him anyway, believe me. I was hoping that things wouldn't come to that. And I was right, they didn't."

"You know what? Things come too easy for you." She crossed her arms. "_I_ came too easy to you. You don't deserve me. Give me the ticket slip, receipt or whatever is it that those Water Tribes gave you to claim me. I'm claiming myself."

He grabbed her waist and pinned her with his body on top of Appa's fur.

"You cannot claim yourself," he said, kissing her with abandon. "I claimed you first. I threw away the ticket slip. You're mine now."

She tried to fight the situation, with as much enthusiasm as if she would have been eating a sea prune.

"I'm not lost luggage. I refused to be claimed by anyone or anything."

"You're not lost luggage, you're a lost little blind girl who needs saving from big bad lobsters." He grabbed her legs, wrapping them around him. She fumbled with the clasps of his parka. "You're blind, you're going to rip this, let me do it."

"Listen monk, I'm doing this voluntarily out of my own earthbending free will, I belong to no one! Next thing I know, you'll talking in terms of 'taking me'." She tried to mimic his voice, while he was busy opening her robes. "_Oh Sifu T, I'm taking you on top of Appa." _She suddenly gasped, when she felt what he was doing to her. "Oh, earth, you're good!"

"I _will _be taking you on top of Appa. Say you're mine or I stop."

"You're asking for a boulder against your arrow, Avatar."

"You're on air _and_ on Appa. You've no leverage."

"Sooner or later you'll have to land Appa and _then _we will see about leverage." She was kissing him, rubbing his ears, straddling him. She was all over him. Like a loose hussy tarty floozy wanton piece of earthbending tramp.

"Say you're mine, that you're claimed chattel or I land Appa right now, on the South Pole, leave you on ice, and _then _leave," he said, meaning it. She ignored him.

"You're asking to be slapped senseless into the Avatar State, that's what you're doing," she answered in his mouth.

"You want me to go all glowy on you?" he threatened.

"Oh, by earth, YES!"

* * *

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**_No, No, don't go away yet! This story is not over. There's more coming! _**

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_THANK YOU Caroline and Gaby for the beta-ing and the support!_

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_Legal cameos in this fanfic: _

_(1) Unclean hands: equitable legal principle that translates into: if you hit me first, you don't get to cry to the teacher when I hit you back. We are both in trouble, but you don't get to benefit from it._

_(2) Tortious Interference: legal principle in tort that translates into: if you sign a contract with me and then do something so I cannot fulfill my part of the bargain, you are in trouble and cannot get the benefit of the agreement. In other words, remember how in The Little Mermaid Ursula is all over Ariel, doing everything to make sure the Prince does not kiss her, even going as far as disguising herself as a babe and enchanting the Prince away? Well, if Ariel or Triton had Chin as an advisor the story would have been different. For starters, when Triton tries to destroy the contract that parchment would have gone in flames. That bit in the Little Mermaid has been bothering me for a while._

_(3) Moral Rights: __Moral Rights are rights of creators of copyrighted works generally recognized in civil law jurisdictions. It means that the author always __has a moral right on his/her creation, and can oppose if someone does something that soil, distort, mutilate or affect the integrity of the creation. An example is Zuko doing Elvis. Bryke may oppose the idea. However, this principle does not exist in Common Law countries, like the U.S., Australia or the U.K. So Bryke is out of luck! HA-HA!!  
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	30. Messages from a Tree

**FANART!**

_From Neato123, **'Heartbroken'**. As a matter of fact, this picture truly breaks my heart. There's so much sadness in Toph's face, and the running make up makes me want to kick the monk all over the place._

_ http : / / neato123 dot deviantart dot com / art / AMoH-27-Heartbroken-101555682 or just go to my profile and click on the link._

_Also, I couldn't help myself. I drew **'El Tuerto'**. Let it be known that I'm not an artist, I'm mostly a bystander, so I apologize for any lack of grace. However, El Tuerto is supposed to be ugly and smelly._

_ http : / / adridere dot deviantart dot com / art / El-Tuerto-101643192 or just go to my profile and click on the link._

_._

_**After this chapter, there is one more chapter and an Epilogue.**_

_I actually wrote the Epilogue half way through the story but decided to changed it a couple of days ago after an inner battle ...  
_

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* * *

**XXX. Messages from a Tree**

(_Katara_)

Katara was one flick of the wrist away from defying all notions of duty and respect and waterbending a waterwhip onto Gran-Gran's fanny. The lady had been next to impossible, and the negotiations with the Gods were rapidly approaching the point of no return. Wars had been declared, and lost, for less than this.

"I'm not saying anything about payment, but The Ebi must a least do Community Service. It ate too many maidens and made the Water Tribes' life really difficult," Gran-Gran was saying.

Katara hid her face in her hands. So far, they had been lucky that La was very happy with the dual hand-holding and that Yue used to be Water Tribe. If it would have been her on the other side of the negotiation table from Gran-Gran, _she_ would have gone apocalyptic on her grandmother a long time ago.

"I just want some peace for our mortals form at the Oasis, Water Tribe," La answered with his watery voice. "Your price is getting too high."

Chin, cowering in a corner and taking notes, felt forced to intervene and whispered in Katara's ear, making sure the Gods didn't notice him.

"The idea, Master, is for the negotiation to be a win-win. Right now, your grandmother is in a winner-takes-all mentality. We are _never _finishing this. Immortals, basically, have all the time in the world."

"Honorable La," Katara intervened, kicking Gran-Gran, "please understand that we only want peace, too. Gran-Gran is being a bit emotional because of all the recent events."

Gran-Gran kicked her back, Katara stifled an '_ouch!_'.

"I'm not emotional! And unlike other people around here, I don't need _secret_ outlets for my emotions." The older lady addressed the young Moon Goddess sweetly, "Honorable Yue, dear, you are like me, originally from the North. Do you think is too much to ask to add some tiny provisions to the Covenant declaring some religious dogmas? They won't cost you divinities anything, and they would make everyone very happy."

Yue was all for it.

"Of course, Sokka's grandmother. What are the dogmas?"

"That Abstinence Only policies are stupid; that only females (elders or otherwise) have a saying on the destiny of young water females; and that unsavory Northern Water Tribe Customs are officially outlawed. That includes arranged marriages and prohibition from females to learn combative waterbending."

Yue nodded.

"Who decides which customs are unsavory?" The Moon asked.

"I do."

The Moon did not hesitate.

"If that's all, my answer is yes."

"Good." Gran-Gran rubbed her hands. "Now, going back to what we understand from protection from the Gods …"

Aang had been right. Years, decades, no, sorry, _a lifetime_ of _ideas _had been brewing inside Gran-Gran's head, and now that the box was officially open, her enthusiasm knew no boundaries. Poor La was getting a smacking worse than anything his own cigar-smoking Mommy Dearest could have come up with. Agni, sitting in for moral support, looked kind of bored, impatient about finishing the business of the covenant. Katara was also kind of anxious to finish the negotiations. Zuko had been hiding somewhere - the Spirits knew where - since Aang flew away holding Toph like she would disappear at any moment, and Sokka refused to go outside of the igloo-bunker he had forced her to waterbend for him while the Gods were still around, bargaining. Master Pakku was hiding with Sokka, knocking down some Tundra Vodka, not wanting to highlight the fact that he was married to _the_ _Negotiator_, as people had begun to call Gran-Gran on hush-hush tones all over the South Pole.

"… so it's simple," Gran-Gran was saying, "if the Gods grants us the favor that the ratio of waterbenders born is twice that of non-waterbenders, that means, please write it down, that for each non bender we get at least two benders, and that ratio is also gender blind, we the Tribes can do a good effort at protecting ourselves, too, and will make sure that nothing ever again threatens the mortal forms of Yue and La."

La (Sokka's actually) expression was inscrutable.

"And with that we finish this?" The god asked.

"Yes. Totally." The god turned to his Moon.

"Are you happy with this?"

"Yes, La. These are my people, my mortal relatives."

"Agni?"

"Sign the thing so we can finally go," Agni said with a casual wave of the hand.

"Well, Water Tribe, we grant you your dogmas, your benders and the banning of the Contest of the Frosts, but I cannot put my brother on Community Service. It's bad for the image of the Family. You _never _go against the Family. Today a Demigod, tomorrow a God. Unacceptable."

Gran-Gran shrugged.

"Okay, three out of four ain't bad at all." She spit her hand and offered it to the Ocean God who seemed amused before shaking it. Agni, next to them, looked horrified. Katara had no choice but to shake the spit-covered hand of the God, too.

Chin, hiding behind Katara, managed to slip the neatly written parchment on the table without being noticed. La signed his kanji in water, Yue with a ray of moonlight and Gran-Gran and Katara signed in ink. The parchment split on its own, half dissolving in silvery strands while the other half rolled on its own in Gran-Gran's hands. The Gods stood, looking tall, splendid and commanding and dissolved in the snow like shiny flurries.

Gran-Gran tapped her chin with the covenant, thoughtful, and then turned towards her granddaughter.

"Well, Katara of the Water Tribe, I would say that today was a good day." Gran-Gran was smiling. Katara was bracing herself, waiting for the interrogation and the lecture. Nothing came. "It did not look that way this morning, but you always need to be open to surprises. Now, where's my husband?"

Kanna walked to the igloo-bunker, and called on the hole that served as an entrance.

"Pakku, Sokka, the hand-holding Gods are gone, you can come out now!"

Before Katara had time to bend the igloo open, Pakku did it for her. Her grandfather did not look worse for wear taking into account the amount of Tundra vodka he had been drinking.

"Finally," the stern looking gentleman was saying. "I'm telling you, seeing my grandson like that, that ain't right."

"It wasn't me, Grampakku," Sokka grumbled next to him, "those were _other _guys!"

Pakku was still talking.

"Well, it _looked _like you," he said with conviction, "and I'm telling you, I don't want to know what's on _that_ side. All I know is that every time a warrior crosses that door, he ain't coming back." Pakku stopped and then added in some inner shock/epiphany moment. "Whatever is over _there,_ it must be mighty good." He shuddered. "I'm not risking it, and I don't want anyone in my family to risk it."

"I think you need to talk to Arnook, Pakku," Gran-Gran said, "before he blows a vein. Or call Yugoda, so she's at hand when he finally digests that he has two divine sons-in-law now."

Pakku assented and held firm to the Tundra Vodka.

"Life as a bachelor did not prepare me for this," he grumbled on his way to offer moral support to Arnook. "Our kids are going to be the bane of our existence."

"It WASN'T ME!" Sokka yelled before his grandfather was out of earshot, but it did not make much difference to the White Lotus Master.

"You would think that he would be more open," Katara muttered, "since he's such great friends with Bumi."

"Yeah," Gran-Gran dismissed, "he's really tolerant if is not a Water Tribe warrior. Deep down, he thinks that all the other nations are suspect, so he expects anything from them. Your grandpa is a closet xenophobic."

Sokka turned to Katara.

"Where's Suki?"

"Still in shock, probably. She may be with Zuko, let's go find them." Katara started walking, Sokka fell into step next to her. He was still recovering from the impromptu quality time with Grampakku.

"Can you believe what he asked me?" Sokka fumed. Katara shook her head, tiredly. "He asked me if my problem was that I just didn't want to waste all this," Sokka signaled his own body with a hand gesture, "on a chick." Katara covered her mouth with her hand; she actually found that one funny. "You know what he suggested? That I needed to take a bath on boiling water! I swear, sis, Gran-Gran was a minute away from becoming a widow."

"At least you didn't have to deal with _the Negotiator_. Grampakku was a waterwhip away from becoming a widower himself."

They reached the building.

"Let's go to the Lady Ursa's chambers," Katara said knowingly, "I think they are probably in there."

"Yeah, about that. What were you doing kissing Zuko in front of everybody? I mean, poor Aang was like right there."

"Aang was busy kissing someone else, Sokka, in case you didn't notice."

"I did notice. The way he was groping Toph, poor innocent child that she is, was a disgrace. You know sis, it's time that you and I had a conversation. The way you've been keeping Aang in an iceberg all this time ain't right. He's a monk, but he's a man. No wonder he went crazy after Toph today. Poor girl was probably terrified. Anyway, I think the honorable thing to do here is for you to break up with him."

Katara sighed. Suki was a saint.

"We did break up, Sokka, last night." She said.

"You did? Good. I mean, is not like I want you to act otherwise, but you have been dating the guy for _years_ and if you guys kept so much distance that even I noticed it, that's not good." He pinched his nose. "I thought it was his fault, you know, being a monk and all, but the way he was holding little Toph, he looked like a Fire Nation burner, about to explode." Sokka stopped. "Do you think Toph needs our help? Where are they, by the way?"

Katara stopped in front of Ursa's door.

"I think Toph is capable of controlling Aang," Karata said while knocking on the door.

Someone opened it; a lady-in-waiting. The siblings stepped in. Suki was sitting on comfortable low cushions, covered with furs, flanked by Lady Ursa, Zuko and Chief Hakoda. They were all drinking something hot.

"You think so?" Sokka continued the conversation. "I don't know, those tattoos came across pretty menacing to me. Thank goodness Toph is blind, because those arrows were looking _back_. I would have been scared stiff if I was her."

He sat next to Suki, embracing her. His girlfriend offered him her drink. The lady Ursa, all grace and elegance, poured two more cups of what turned out to be mulled fire wine with spices.

"Are you talking about Toph and Aang?" Suki asked, still recovering from the news. Sokka nodded. "I agree. I was so in shock when I saw them. Since when? And Aang? I don't know. Has that kid been eating meat? He looks like he has been eating _lots_ of meat."

Katara sat primly between her father and Lady Ursa. Zuko was sitting on the other side of his mother. Katara did not openly look at him and Zuko didn't look at her either. In a weird way, it felt even worse than before. At least there has been an excuse for him to ignore her. Now, there were no excuses, everything was basically in the open and they were still playing the detached '_I'm not doing you_' game.

"I think they looked adorable," the Lady Ursa said instead, sipping her wine. "The way he was gazing at her, and the way she was cheering for him? Delightful."

"Yes, I agree," Suki insisted, "they looked charming. But since when? Last I knew, she didn't want to know about anyone and he was engaged to Katara." The last phrase fell like a chunk of ice in the middle of the room. Silence reverberated from the walls, and Chief Hakoda answered nicely.

"Well, obviously, as the Avatar just publicly claimed Master Bei Fong as his, and he seemed very happy about it, I'd say that we can safely assume that there's no engagement, isn't Katara?"

Katara nodded.

"We broke up last night," she said calmly.

Silence permeated the room again.

"Oh, for Moonsakes!" Sokka said exasperated after a minute. "It's not like we didn't see you guys or anything! After we had to call extra healers to get Zuko breathing again, we sort of got the point!"

"Extra healers?" Katara was offended. "There were no other healers, you are exaggerating!"

"Am I? Like Zuko was not turning blue in the face? Oh, yes, sorry, my mistake: you were _resuscitating_ him! From what, Zuko? My waterbender sister-turned-barnacle?"

"Barnacle? Are you calling me a barnacle?"

"You were stuck to the guy's face! If it wasn't because of the Gods showing up, he dies right there!"

Hakoda intervened, placing a hand against the chest of each of his kids.

"Not here," he said in a commanding tone. "Later. When we are alone."

"Bah!" Sokka dismissed the command with a hand gesture. "Suki and Zuko totally know us dad. For years now. And if Katara is going to be kissing Zuko in front of the four nations, I would say is time for Lady Ursa here to get up to speed with the family dynamics." A waterwhip slap hit him squarely on the back of the head. "Ouch! Did you see that, dad? Katara hit me!"

"I did not!"

"You want me to show you my latest boomerang technique?"

"Stop it right now, both of you!" Hakoda turned to Ursa and bowed, a faint pink color under the tan skin. "My Lady, I apologize in my name and the name of my children." He threw a murdering look at his children, who lowered their heads at the same time and mumbled apologies.

"It's okay, Chief Hakoda. I'm also a mother," Lady Ursa said, bemused. "I know about siblings' spats."

"That's a way to call it." Zuko muttered, opening his mouth for the first time since Katara and Sokka arrived to the room.

Lady Ursa drank her mulled wine without answering. Sokka added for her,

"Sounds better than attempted murder. _Ouch!_ Katara, cut it with the waterwhips!"

Suki put a hand on his arm to restrain him.

"Sokka, before you and Katara showed up, we were talking about that."

"About what? Azula?" Sokka was rubbing the back of his head.

"No. About Katara and Zuko." Katara raised her head in surprise.

"About us? What about us?"

Zuko leaned from his sitting position to look at her head-on.

"My mother and I were asking your father permission to court you."

Suki was beaming, Sokka was still sour.

"Both of you?" he asked. Zuko nodded.

"Our relationship will have political consequences. It's proper for my mother to negotiate any proposal."

Katara shifted on her cushion, looking at Zuko.

"Weren't you supposed to ask me first?" She asked him in a whisper. He nodded.

"I already did, remember? Several times?" She nodded and smiled.

"Ah, yes, true! You did!"

Sokka crossed his arms.

"And _when _did he ask you if you only broke up with Aang last night?"

Another chunk of silence fell in the room.

"This morning." Katara said.

"Don't even try it, sis. I may be dense, but even I am not _that_ stupid. And don't even try that waterwhip thing again! You know what? I'm happy Aang won himself a chick. A great one, by the way. No one here thought for a moment of the consequences for the world of a depressed Avatar, but I'm an strategist, I think about these things. Anyway, if we are negotiating courtships let's start with the basic fact that I don't chaperone. And besides, I think you two are beyond chaperoning the way you were exploring Zuko's dental health today. Ouch, Suki! No elbows! I mean, we were _all_ there! It's not like I'm breaking an exclusive, here!"

Hakoda crossed his arms with an imposing gesture.

"We may have all been there, Sokka, but there's no need to highlight any unpleasantness. The Fire Prince and your sister seem happy. The Avatar and Master Bei Fong seemed happy too. That should be enough for all of us."

Lady Ursa added with a smile.

"There's a Fire Nation poet that always says: '_All's Well that Ends Well_'. And don't worry, we were not planning on doing a formal courtship with chaperones. We were talking about timing, Fire Nation protocols, you know, that kind of thing." Ursa sipped her wine. "As a matter of fact, timing is a great issue here. Zuko is going to be crowned Fire Lord in the summer and then the Fire Council may want to have a saying on personal matters regarding the Fire Lord. Regarding the Fire Prince, though, only the family has a saying. So timing is important, we have three seasons to plan a proper coronation and any other ancillary celebration."

"Ancillary?" Sokka asked. "Is that Fire Nation's for 'marry me'?"

"After Agni and La today, I wouldn't be saying things like that aloud with Zuko in the room," Katara mumbled, knowing very well how to throw a spear at her brother's heart and nail it. Sokka opened his mouth, at loss for words in front of so much filial malevolence. Suki pushed his chin gently, closing his mouth.

"That's charming, Katara," Suki said, still smiling. "Your brother is voicing out Zuko's proposal. How romantic."

Zuko took the cue. He sat on his ankles, his palms open on his knees and his head low.

"Katara, in front of your father, your brother, his intended, and my mother, would you do me the honor of marrying me?" He said, his raspy voice with the right level of emotion to make her quiver like an anemone.

She kept her composure, her head low, her hands on her knees too.

"Yes, Fire Prince, I'll be honored," she answered, with enough emotion to convey her glee.

Hakoda raised his cup, together with Ursa, Sokka and Suki.

"To your health and happiness!" The Chief exclaimed.

"Hear, hear!" The others chorused, drinking.

Zuko raised his face and looked at his intended's eyes, smiling. She was smiling too.

* * *

Lady Ursa and Chief Hakoda left the four young people by themselves, to fetch uncle Iroh, Gran-Gran and Granpakku and have a family toast. They were actually quite insistent on getting the rest of the family themselves instead of sending the younger generation. They left the Lady Ursa chambers engaged in a lively conversation about ceremonies, etiquette and cultural differences that needed to be addressed to make the event a success.

Suki was still under the effects of the events of the day.

"Did you see Kuei's face? I mean, I can't bring myself to hate the guy, he looks so harmless, and his face certainly broke my heart today."

"I felt no pity whatsoever." Sokka drank his wine and made a gesture to the lady-in-waiting for more. He was a natural for the 'prince-giving-orders' role. "Neither of you guys seem to remember, _ever, _that Kuei was the one who babbled our invasion plans the day of Black Sun to Azula. And you know what really, _really_, jars me about the guy? Is not that he told Azula, he didn't know then who she was under the Kyoshi make-up, but that he _didn't told us_ after the fall of Ba Sing Se, when he already knew who Azula _was_, that Azula knew. I mean, no wonder he wanted to run away so fast with his smelly bear! He didn't own for a second about screwing up. That little bit of information may have come _handy_ before engaging all the efforts we did, and would have save our father, friends and allies some time on Fire Nation prisons." He drank his wine. "Kuei is the worst kind of harmless: the kind that looks like it, but isn't."

"I agree." Katara drank her wine in one fluid motion. She didn't bothered gesturing the lady-in-waiting, she bended the fire wine directly from the simmering pot into her cup. She was sitting next to Zuko, reclining on him, his arm loosely around her waist. It felt _weird _to be sitting openly and affectionately with him in front of her family. It was something that she had wanted to do for so long, and now that it was happening, it didn't feel real or even right. It just felt weird. Particularly because Sokka's reaction was not what she had expected. Katara wondered if Sokka was finally maturing or if he had always been like this and she just hadn't given him the chance. "This is the same guy who was building a wooden cell for a blind girl who can only see through her bending. Sorry, who _lives_ through her bending. He's lucky that Aang is a pacifist, I would have killed that bear myself." The rancor on her voice reverberated in the room. Zuko kissed her temple affectionately.

"Good thing you're not the Avatar, 'Tara. The fate of the world would be a different one," he said, but he sounded proud of her.

Sokka made a gesture with his hand.

"I agree. You need to watch out, Zuko, for the sneaky slaps in the head she'll be giving your council when she doesn't agree with them. I mean, I know that your country is used to strong female figures and stuff, but still. At least my sister won't try to assassinate you; that's better than your current girlfriend. By the way, are you breaking up in person?"

"I am." Zuko shifted uncomfortably. Suki raised an eyebrow.

"You look guilty. Why do you look guilty?"

"I may have misled Mai …" he started, but Katara cut him off.

"He got engaged by accident. Toph says that that single act automatically disqualifies him from the Fire Lord position, but I say that if Kuei is allowed to keep his throne, so is Zuko."

Sokka finished his wine.

"This is just frosting on the custard. The nations are going to be talking about Team Avatar for ages after all of this, and probably not on the best terms. Whatever. Suki, you and I now officially hold the higher moral ground in this group." Sokka stopped. Even _he_ couldn't keep it straight. "I meant you, Suki. Only you hold the high moral ground in the entire South Pole. Let's go, woman. I need to change and you do too, so we look good for the family toast. And Katara probably wants to finish her assessment of Zuko's cavities."

Zuko stopped her before she bended another waterwhip at Sokka's head. She watched her brother and long time girlfriend leave the room. The lady-in-waiting, quick on her feet, apologized too, quoting some pressing matters regarding Lady Ursa's dresses, and left the room with silent feet.

Katara turned to Zuko.

"He's going to be your brother now. You need to know how to treat him. He will be making those comments in front of your Council if you don't rein him in."

Zuko shrugged, more entertained with her hair.

"They can't challenge him to Agni Kais because he's not a bender. At worst, they will whisper behind his back about what the world is coming to, but it's okay. They'll be whispering behind both our backs, too, and looking at us all the time, trying to find fault. Good thing uncle has been cleaning house for the last four years. Our lives will be easier since he's shouldered most of the brunt of the hard work with the court. Doesn't meant that it will be easy, just easier."

Zuko seemed relaxed and happy, which was not a common expression for him. Katara felt the weird impulse of kicking him to make him angry and go back to_ known,_ comfortable waters with him. He read her expression like an open scroll.

"What's going on?" He asked, a bit suspicious.

"Our relationship thrived under conflict. It seems like since we met, we have either been fighting each other, or next to each other. There has always been some drama attached to anything that sounds like _us. _Do you think, honestly think, that we can make it? I mean, that we can have a normal relationship? Normalcy has never been our strong suit. After five years, maybe we are too set on our ways."

He shrugged again, twirling and un-twirling a lock of hair.

"It's going to be strange not having to look for closets anymore," he said nodding, "or having to cover your mouth so no one else hears you."

"Zuko, I'm serious. All the intensity had a lot to do with eating forbidden fruit. What if we cannot keep the intensity once we are legal?"

"Aang seemed pretty intense when he made it clear to the world that he and Toph were legal. If they can do it, we can do it." He kissed a lock of hair. "Do you want to go to my chambers now and test the intensity theory? We are engaged, so your brother won't kill me, and who knows how long is going to take our parents to find the rest of the family."

Katara smiled.

"I'd rather wait until tonight, when it's less likely that someone will barge on us. At least in the Fire Nation, people knock on doors. You've no idea what it felt coming back to live with Gran-Gran after spending so much time on my own in the world. We may have buildings now, but everyone keeps acting as if we are still sharing huts and igloos. No privacy."

Zuko's train of thought was wandering. She knew his expression and was sure that, right now, he wasn't really up for a tumble in the furs anyway.

"I'm not as concerned at us not surviving the lack of problems, as I am at us not surviving the abundance of them."

"You mean, ruling your nation?"

"Yes. You need to understand that my father and forefathers intermingled war with nationalism. The sense of pride of my nation was bred from military conquests and propaganda about our superiority over other nations. Right now there are no more military victories and we are force-feeding the concept of diversity on people that grew under the belief that they were better than the rest. If we don't want a civil war, or to feed extremist thinking and behavior, we cannot impose a sense of penance. Aang has been reading a lot of history scrolls, and he keeps sending them to me after he's done. History, the kind that was suppressed by my family at Fire Nation schools, is full of stories like this one. Nations forced on their knees, breeding radical movements as a result, because you cannot force humiliation and expect people to be happy about it. You need to understand, Katara, that preserving a sense of pride on our country is pivotal, and that you cannot expect our nation to apologize to you or anyone else at all times."

Katara nodded in silence, looking at Zuko intently. He was talking in plural terms (our nation) and he was addressing her as an equal, but he was also not sugar coating the warning. Her being an orphan of war wouldn't get her any sympathy, and neither would her heritage. She would have to come to terms with her own resentment and hate before having to fight that of others.

"And Aang sends you these scrolls because …?"

"Because he's an intelligent man who believes in prevention, not retaliation, and who says that knowledge should be used as a force for good, not for destruction. He's educating me in classic military history beyond that of the Fire Nation, and on the Airbending philosophy of social justice. I think he sees me as an instrument for change more than he sees himself."

"We met a bird once who had strong views about using knowledge for destructive purposes," Katara assented, caressing Zuko's face. Now, _this_ conversation felt real. Not awkward, or weird, or uncomfortable. It had that tint of old friends and lovers exchanging honest opinions, unafraid of the other's reaction. He was not concerned with her being able to handle the difficult path ahead, and she was not concerned with him trying to protect her or hide things from her. Zuko may have been many things in his life, but he was not the kind to be untrue to his beliefs. Also, he was not the coddling type. He had a lot of experience about not coddling the women in his life. "I understand about not try to correct the past by making the people of the Fire Nation ashamed, but they cannot be kept ignorant, either."

"They won't be." Zuko moved, laying on the cushions, his head on her lap. He caressed her face while she did the same to his. "Destroying an entire nation carries its own shame with it. Just teaching the real facts at school would do more than trying to impose notions of injustice. One day, it would be for every Fire Nation child like it is for me. I cannot look at Aang, talk to him, let's not talk about hugging him, without feeling the weight of everything that was lost." Zuko's gaze shifted from her face to the ceiling, his voice becoming raspier. "One day, when we were still at the Western Air Temple, I was walking along the silent corridors, looking at the statues of the nuns and wondering about righting so much wrong. How do you recover your nation's honor after such pointless destruction? Every painting on the wall, every piece of art, every fountain, talked of a culture obliterated by ambush. The story of the Airbenders is the story of gentle traditions that succumbed because of one person's greed." A tear streamed from Zuko's good eye. She caught it with the tip of her fingers. "I made up my mind about joining your group before really _knowing _any of you, but I confirm my decision every time I talk to Aang or learn from him. He's my friend now, and it took _me_ a while to reconcile _him_ with the stories I learned as a child about the mysterious airbenders and their armies." Zuko sighed and turned his head in her lap, to one side, offering her his profile, the scarred one. "All lies. Crafty lies to justify murder." Katara felt embarrassment overflowing his features and spilling on her skirts, like water. "He is not a breathing museum, you know? Sometimes, when I hear the Elders talk about him and his traditions, I feel like they see him as an island in the sea of our nations. Like the lion-turtle he told us about. The last Lion-Turtle, who was the last bending teacher of the Last Airbender. How do _I_ atone for that, 'Tara?" Another tear made its way to her fingers. "Someone once told me that me being miserable wouldn't bring a single airbender back to life. I know that to be true, but I can't stand the idea of happiness unjustly won. My great-grandfather is out of reach, as is every firebender that helped him annihilate Aang's race, but that shouldn't give _me_ or my nation a reprieve."

"Life goes on, Kuku." Katara passed her fingers through his hair. "My father told me yesterday that after my mother died he couldn't conceive ever feeling happy again, but it happened. He has managed to feel happy again without feeling like betraying her. Even my mom, that day in the Spirit World, made us promise her that we will try to be happy." She pushed his face gently so he faced her again. "You won't get an easy reprieve from your great-grandfather's actions, but you shouldn't focus only on him, or Azulon, or Ozai. You need to focus on Roku, and your mother, and uncle Iroh. You carry within a history of good and evil. You will learn, eventually, to forgive the evil in you the same way you learned to let the good flourish." She let her fingers linger on his scar. "Something good always comes out from something bad, Kuku. Aang seemed happy today, happier than he had been with me for a while. So you see, we were wrong, but who is to say that us acting differently would have brought a better result? If we did something wrong, we also did something right."

Zuko was looking at her face again, locking his eyes with hers.

"What do you think those visions on the swamp meant?" He asked, finally. "We read what we wanted to read on the visions because we felt guilty, but now that we are not feeling guilty anymore, what do you think the tree meant?"

"I don't know. We can interpret everything so many possible ways. The Agni Kai in a room with earth kingdom colors? Well, there was an Agni Kai, on the snow, but brought about by the Earth King, so it makes sense somehow. Me, dressed in blue, in a wedding ceremony without a groom? Well, yes, because Aang and I canceled our Ceremony, so now it makes sense. Our joint vision of Aang fading and with him all the airbenders? Maybe it means that he is not _our _responsibility and that we need to learn to let him go. Maybe that _you_ need to learn that you cannot change the outcome of a genocide, but need to deal with it in present terms. We cannot change the past." Zuko nodded in agreement, still looking into her eyes.

"Never again. Let's never guide our lives by prophecies and predictions of the future, okay?" He asked nicely, but it was a command, too. She agreed with her head.

"That means we are not inviting Aunt Wu to the ancillary ceremony?" Katara asked, some doubt on her voice. Zuko shrugged; he knew everything about Aunt Wu.

"We can, if she doesn't read my future - or yours. I honestly don't want to know. I want the future to be a surprise. She can read the guests' futures, if they want to." Zuko tapped her nose with his finger. "But we are not doing the tree anymore. Nothing against the tree, but it likes math, and throws inconsistent images of the future, or as Fate would call them, permutations. I have enough trouble trying to figure out my destiny, our relationship, your brother-soon-to-be-my-in-law, your grandmother, our friends. I'm not dealing with mystery trees anymore. That tree is too smart, too advanced for the likes of us lowly mortals."

Katara smiled and leaned to kiss him, with a long, deep, soft kiss. He kissed her back, his fingers in her hair.

"You are not an erotic dream, anymore, 'Tara. That feels so good," he said.

She caressed his face, but then someone opened the door to the room. Their families were back, ready to toast to their happiness. Zuko did not jump from her lap until he saw that besides uncle, the grandparents and their parents, Aang and Toph came into the room too.

Zuko leaped to hug Aang first, and then Toph, looking authentically happy. Katara felt a pang in her heart seeing her grave boyfriend/lover/five-minute-fiancé acting on such a carefree way.

"Sparky!" the earthbender pushed him back a little, trying to breathe, "tell me the truth! Twinkles here is not confessing: Did you take a dive? Did you lose that Agni Kai on purpose?"

"Of course not!" He sounded honestly offended. Toph turned her head to Katara, not seeing the faint smirk on the firebender's face.

"I won, Sugar Cakes!"

"You won what?" Sokka's voice filled the room before running to embrace Toph, twirling her around, "A glowing monk?" he lowered his voice, "Are you okay, Toph? If that kid gets frisky you need to slap him very hard, you hear me?"

"Oh yes. I'm an expert at slapping the monk, Sokka, don't worry."

"That's my girl! I knew you wouldn't let religion take the better of you!"

Katara saw Aang coming over and hugging Toph from behind, crossing his arms in front of her waist, putting his cheek against her hair, smiling at Sokka but effectively holding the earthbender a little tighter. Her brother didn't notice.

"You need to be careful with her, Aang," Sokka was lecturing like Toph wasn't even in the room, "Toph doesn't have relationship experience like us …" Toph, however, untangled herself from the embrace, her face suddenly serious. Aang tried to stop her, but she turned, a finger raised against his nose.

"I just remembered last night," Toph warned, "and I'm truly unhappy right now."

Aang lowered his head against her finger.

"I deserve your anger. Please forgive me," he said. Katara could see that Toph was fighting something. Finally, the girl removed her finger, still frowning.

"I don't know," she said. Aang got closer and muttered.

"Grovel, grovel."

"Very hard?"

"Very hard."

"I'll deal with you later." Toph turned and walk away, still frowning. Sokka was speechless.

"Why are you smiling Aang?" He asked before the airbender made a shushing sound. "She seems very upset."

"She is and I deserve it, but I'm just so happy that I can't help smiling. Anyway, it will be years before she lets this one go. She just recently stopped bringing up the day I yelled at her when Appa got kidnapped. I'll say this one will be eight years instead of almost five."

Suki had grabbed Toph by the arm, dragging her away.

"I want details," the warrior insisted, "you kept very quiet. I want to know _what_ did you keep quiet about and why. You have a glowy boyfriend now, that's really funky. I'm impressed."

"Katara had the same boyfriend until some hours ago, I don't see what makes it impressive now. We're recycling the same guys, if you haven't noticed."

"Well, the boyfriend didn't really glow when he was with Katara. Don't ask me why, okay? It's one of those things. He just looks better with you than he did when he was dating her."

Katara couldn't believe it.

"Suki, I'm right here. You're becoming worse than your boyfriend. Anyway, are you going to get Sokka to lay off with the barnacle comments? Those are offensive, you know?"

"I'm dating your brother, not educating him." Suki answered with a shrug. "Maybe you shouldn't get too enthusiastic in public. Not that I blame you, look at your angsty guy. Again, don't ask me why, but it just looks more interesting to see _you_ with hot-prince and _you_ with glowy monk than the way it was before."

Toph obviously decided that it was a good moment to quit that conversation because she stepped away towards Zuko and took him aside to talk in private.

Suki looked at them, considering something.

"Hum! Maybe Toph with hot-dao-swords is also an interesting possibility …" she started.

"Suki, let it go. Now," Katara warned. However, unable to control her busybody nature Katara moved closer to hear what Toph was saying to Zuko.

"I hate to tell you this, Sparky," she was saying, her voice low, "but you need to enroll your intended in some classes, like, _asap_."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know if anyone else knows this, so keep it hush, but Sugar Cakes cannot read that well. She is half illiterate."

"How do you know?"

"Believe me, I know all. At least, teach her the basic kanjis for numbers. You don't want her giving your future babies twelve units of the medicine, when they were supposed to get twenty-four. That would be unbecoming to a Fire-Lady."

"TOPH!" Katara yelled, making both benders jump so high that Aang looked like an earthbender in comparison. "What do you mean that I can't read?"

"Come on, Sugarcakes, you couldn't tell the difference between a twenty-four year old single barrel fire whiskey bottle and a twelve year one!"

Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose. Aang smiled widely before crossing the room to embrace, _again_, his big mouthed woman.

* * *

**_10 months earlier, somewhere in the Foggy Swamp ..._**

Katara had been playing hide and seek with Zuko. She had not intended for things to go this far, or to lose control so completely. She blamed the river, the full moon, the stress of saving all those people from the tsunami and dealing with the loss and pain of the survivors. The entire effort had been charged with feelings, leaving her and Zuko raw, with their emotions exposed and only skin deep. Then they had the _episode _in the river. She kept referring at the river encounter as the _episode _because it was easier than to call it for what it really was. At least, what she thought it was. She thought it was an outlet, a way from both of them to decompress and to address some quiet frustrations. They were both unattached at the time, so no harm, no foul. But then, because they were still in the ravaged island, they kept running into the _no harm, no foul _argument and things kept happening that were not harmless and definitively not faultless. For five minutes (tops) she thought that she could manage the emotional consequences. Afterwards, Katara accepted that she couldn't deal with the consequences, but she didn't care anyway, because life would put her eventually in a rocking chair, an old lady with only memories. So, she kept blaming everything besides herself because the idea of the lonely rocking chair was enough to get her into stocking some good dammed memories.

Honestly, Katara got into the hide and seek game with Zuko never expecting, not even remotely, that this would evolve into anything serious. She was not born - or raised - for court life, for dealing with Fire Nation aristocratic crap, or even for dealing with a - mostly - somber guy so far away from her light, charming, fun-seeking ex-sweetheart. That the miserable, good-looking (albeit the scar - no, wait, _maybe _because of the scar) guy could get her boiling beyond reason was a secondary issue altogether. Maybe. Well, yes, maybe not _that_ secondary. She blamed the raspy voice. It was totally the fault of the raspy voice, full of angst, and dark promises. Until Yue and the stupid river took common sense away and got her into inviting him for a swim at midnight and the dark promises of the raspy voice became the realization of her hoarse moans, she didn't know that the stupid firebender didn't only look the part, he _was _the part.

So, she was now playing hide and seek with Zuko all over the Foggy Swamp knowing perfectly well that, one, he would find her, that two, she was not hiding that hard anyway, and three, that the entire purpose of the hide and seek game was to hide everything that kept happening between them. What was becoming harder to hide were the feelings of _rightness _that were flourishing between them. The feeling that it was so right to be together that neither wanted to be anywhere else in the world except where they were at that moment. The word that Zuko used in whispers was _fulfillment_. The word that Katara murmured back on his ear was _blessed_. Getting to know each other so deeply was the most excruciating and exhilarating emotional experience either had had in their entire lives, and sometime in the swamp Zuko had asked her to let it be, to join him in what she could only describe a mutual immolation. And she did.

So running around a swamp, dressed in some unbelievably embarrassing banana outfit was completely justified because they were on Foreign lands (there is an unwritten rule somewhere that people are allowed to do stupid things when they are on Foreign Lands: like wearing awkward _sombreros_, winning beads by unspeakable behavior and eating weird food with mayonnaise); because they were consumed by their emotions and because they were hanging out with un-judging people. Somewhere in Katara's and Zuko's minds, the idea had nested that the Foggy Swampers didn't know who they were. The fact that the swampers kept calling them by name and title eluded them altogether. So they kept playing the fantasy that they were anonymous in the Foggy Swamp, sheltered from the world and therefore justified to behave, maybe, in less than dignified ways.

"Gatorabbits," one of the brothers said, not bothering about disguising his voice so the two benders making out, sweaty and dirty, wouldn't hear him. "Just like gatorabbits. Better lookin', though."

"Lot of energy for being Foreigners," another brother said, "usually by now they're passed out 'cause of the heat."

A third brother, reclining against the banyan tree, felt forced to add:

"They is good sports though, they likes our customs."

The first brother raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"They is _doin' _all of our customs, Lil' W, even you can't justify that."

Zuko, who had been brought up in a household full of rules and manners, unlike Katara who really, _really_ couldn't care less about the swampers at that moment, felt obliged to stop, right the banana leaves on Katara's physique and his, and engage in conversation with the peeping locals.

"And you are …?" Zuko asked, authority permeating his voice.

"Dude," the first brother said, a sallow-looking type still half-naked, as was the swamp custom, but carrying two rustic swords on his back, "cut it with them higher moral grounds. Your banana bottoms are on your knees."

Zuko kinda rushed about dressing, while the other brother, the nice one who sported a whip made of vines, added:

"Don' pay attention to my brother. He thinks manners are for them sissies. But please rush with your pants, I'm kinda embarrassed here."

Katara, after making sure that all of her was inside the banana leaves, decided to go to the aid of her - lover? Fan? Aficionado? Better than nothing?? … _Zuko_?

"Oh, hello. We're tourists here. And you are …?"

The third brother, the nice one, bowed.

"We're the three brothers."

"But there're four of you," Katara added, after counting to be sure.

"Yep, but G here combines our three personalities," the brother with the swords explained, pointing to a brother sitting on a felled tree, who smiled politely and waved a scary looking curve blade that Katara had never seen in the South Pole, "so he don't count."

Zuko, now banana-dressed and all dignity-recovered tried to step in front of Katara to make sure she was not exposed to any unpleasantness from the natives.

"So, three brothers that are really four, can we help you?"' he asked. Katara liked his protectiveness. She didn't really need it, but she liked it nonetheless.

"Not really," the other brother answered. This one was sporting something that resembled a crossbow, but it was hard to tell because the manufacture was somewhat primitive. "We're in the middle of doin' science, and you're being really helpful. So keep with the bangin' and all that, we're just takin' notes."

Zuko seemed scandalized.

"Sorry brothers, but … we're not here for your entertainment," he said, haughtily, covering Katara and starting their retreat. Katara, less versant in the arts of distrust, but equally effective in the arts of survival, stopped him.

"So, brothers, tell us about you. Are you relatives of Huu?"

"We're his children," the brother with the whip said.

"Sorta," the one with the crossbow clarified, "Mama wasn't the haughty type. She kinda liked to explore, so at least one or two of us is his children."

"I'm a firebender," the one with the swords interjected, "I'm mama-goin'-freelance. No traumas, though. Couldn't be happier. Unlike Lil' W here, always trying to be decent. He's a waterguy, and likes whips because he's a wimp."

"I'm not a wimp! Unlike Big W, who think he can do air stuff with his crossbow, but is waterbender too! No airbenders left in the world for mama goin' air-freelance."

Zuko and Katara were lost. Once thing was engaging in passion against an exotic tree and another dealing with family dramas of swampy guys against an exotic tree.

"Yeah, right. 'Tara, I think we're needed somewhere else." Zuko bowed elegantly, as was his style. "Good afternoon to you, brothers. We'll see you."

The brother with the swords didn't stop them directly.

"See your visions on the tree, you mean," the swamp dweller said, casually.

"I beg you pardon?" Zuko asked, turning, his hand on Katara's waist.

"The visions from the tree. You is seeing a handful. Careful. The tree don' like haughty-toity people ignoring it." Zuko and Katara stopped. They had been blaming their heightened senses and the heat for the several visions they had been having, not wanting to give them any more due than necessary.

"Are the visions real?" Katara asked, feeling a bump on her throat. The brother with the swords shrugged.

"Maybe."

The brother with the crossbow intervened.

"There's as much chance at them being real than not. We ain't no future-predictors, we only check that the tree is doin' okay. You know, that the _logical permambulation _is good and all."

"You does that," the brother with the swords said, "G and me, we just check if them visions is hot."

"B, you is such an ass," the brother with the whip, Lil' W, apologized, "we guard the Banyan-Grove tree. We feed it and makes sure it's happy. When the tree is unhappy, well, the visions is not good."

"Do any of you have real names?" Zuko asked, not really wanting to know.

"Mama was great about exploring them foreign cultures," Lil' W said, "but no big on the name department. I'm Lil' W, I'm a swamp bender. My brother with the crossbow is the thinker, he's also a swampbender but likes to act like an airbender. He's Big W and likes Logic. That one over there with them swords, that's B the firebender, and then we have G who's like a miss of all of us, sorry, a mix of all of us. He earthbends." G with the scary blade waved again.

Zuko wanted to leave, soon. He grabbed Katara's hand.

"Nice meeting you, brothers, but 'Tara and I here have pressing matters to attend to. Thank you for your patience." He bowed and was about to leave the place when one of the brothers, the one with the swords stopped him.

"Dude, give the tree a chance," he said, nonchalant. Zuko hesitated, and so did Katara. "You never know what the tree'd like to tell you."

Big W added.

"Don't ignore the tree, not healthy. Bad for first-rate futures."

Zuko and Katara bowed and started walking away.

"'Tara, I'm telling you, next time we lose common sense, let's wait until we are inside a hut," he told her, annoyed. The female bender seemed concerned.

"What if the visions are real, Kuku? What do we do?"

The brothers watched them leave.

"Hey B, is you still emptying the bad batches of fermented banana juice on the tree roots?" Big W asked, making notations on what looked like a piece of bark.

"Sure dude. Since we changed bad fermented passion fruit juice for banana, that tree is doin' really good stuff. The end of the world and all."

"You know guys, if papa finds out what you're doing he's going to be soooo pissed." Lil' W said, shaking his head.

"Don' be party pooping them experiments, Lil' W," G finally said, "we're the tree guardians, we knows what's best. And that tree its surely having fun!"

"Yeah, dude, who cares if them visions ain't perfect?" B asked, sharpening his sword, "Mama would tell ya that a little imagination takes ya a long way."

"But those foreigners, they may change the course of their lives! They doesn't know that the tree don't do good math while drunk!"

"That's the idea of the experiment, Lil' W," Big W explained tiredly, "to find out how stupid people is. It's for Science, ya know? The Greater Good. People in general would participate in science more often if them understood about the greater good."

"I'm sure B and G ain't doing this for the greater good," Lil' W said sourly.

"No, we isn't. We just like to screw up with them people's lives."

.

* * *

_TV2000, this one is for you._


	31. La Rosa de los Vientos

**XXXI - La Rosa de los Vientos**

* * *

(_Aang_)

The wind was shaking the shutters in anger. It was a wild wind. Toph had been right. The wind was extreme, a howling adversary that refused to listen to reason or to assuage its fury on anyone's favor. The caretakers of the house had said that it was not always an enemy, only in winter, when it would bring the cold air from the North Pole. In summer, it was a friend that would bring clear blue skies and relief from the heat. '_La Tramontana_', as the caretakers called it, accelerated as it passed between the Mountains that served as backdrop to the coast full of summer houses for the Earth Kingdom aristocracy or the rich. The summer houses were built like quaint dreams, little palaces designed to offer their owners respite from the summer heat - very different than the houses on Ember Island. Over there, the purpose _was _the heat, and the sand, and the sea, and the tropical feeling. Over here, the intention was different and thus it lacked the exotic feeling.

Aang remembered the first time he flew over this area when he was a child, on his way to the Northern Air Temple to visit the monks, accompanied by Gyatso, unaware that it would be the last time he would see the temple in its original splendor. It had been summer, the best time of the year to travel from the South to the North and avoid the inclement weather that would sometimes hang over the Northern Air Temple, thanks to its proximity to the North Pole. The mountains below looked painted, with white and blue houses along the coast, going up and down, following the sinewy shape of the peaks. He remembered how little the rich people looked, walking along the seashore, delighted that the water was cold. The little palaces looked like playthings from above and he wondered about the families living in splendor, and the children playing on the beach. It was weird to think that, probably, Toph's grandfather was one of the kids having fun in the sand at the time.

Aang turned in the bed. It was late. The moon was full, clear and very high. The incredible thing about the north wind was that it brought limpid skies with it. The shimmering light of the moon would squeeze through the shutters with the cries of the wind, like a whistle that would sound silver in the night. It was enough to light Toph's sleeping form. Her face buried in the pillow, her hair spread like a black aura, her lithe arms embracing the cushion. She was a sound sleeper, his earthbender. A fearless sleeper, not used to nightmares. He carefully moved her hair to one side to expose her back. Her skin looked silver, too, under the moon, the delicate vertebrae protruding like knots, little bumps that he would trace with his fingers one by one. Aang carefully pushed the covers down to expose the rest of her. The trail of bumps would mark a sinuous path to her lower back, where two dimples inviting kisses would mark the beginning of his perdition. She liked sleeping on her stomach. That meant that only part of the profile of her breast was visible. A delicate allusion that would stir volumes in him with what it suggested.

Aang traced her form with his fingers without touching her to avoid waking her up. He loathed to disturb her, partially because she could get cranky, yes, but mostly because he liked to see her rest. All her energy, all her force at an impasse. Paused for a moment, like a stop in the wind. Aang always had the feeling that if she didn't rest, she somehow would consume herself. But her energy was not wasteful energy. It was concentrated, intense, strong and unashamed, just like her kisses. She was not the kind to overwhelm anyone with her power, it was just that he had the feeling that left unchecked, her force would consume her without them noticing. And he felt protective. He always did, which was a weird feeling taking into account that she could probably do a better job at protecting him. But he couldn't help it. Maybe it was her slight physique. Maybe it was the translucent skin that was silk under his fingers, even if underneath he could feel the firmness of her muscles. Perhaps it was the small nose, the small ears, the fine, long fingers that were so wise at touching him. She was deceiving, his maiden, but not on purpose. He had heard the expression once, during a poetry reading at the temple. Steel Magnolia. She was like that, all soft petals covering a frame of iron and determination. But only the outer frame. Inside she was a long walk on an autumn afternoon. Cushy, refreshing, and lovely. Oh, so lovely.

Aang rested his head on his hand, supporting himself on his elbow, silently studying his lover. His lover. When did that happen? How did it happen? He knew he was at fault but he didn't regret it. Not a single bit. There was a moment when not amount of fierce meditation would assuage the pull that was tearing him from the inside. Only indulging the pull gave him relief. The really, really, extraordinary thing was that he honestly did not know that he was about to indulge on it until he was already at her door, debating between entering her room or not. Wishing so hard for her not to be there, and completely disappointed if she was not. He would feel so relieved when she would finally show up, sometimes surprised, sometimes grouchy, but always accepting. That was the thing. She could have been, she _should _have been distrustful, but she hadn't. She was accepting of him and his presence. It was like she always _knew_ the best of him without expecting it. Or asking for it. And the way she would bring him to life! Since that morning when she had decided to teach him how to cure her hangover.

He didn't know he was so upset at the ongoing feeling of never been up to par, of never been good enough (even though he was supposed to be the 'most awesome') until that morning. Katara had kept complaining about him in public, and that had made him both irritated and reckless. He recognized now that his entire relationship with Katara had been a source of unspoken frustration. It had taken him a while to acknowledge this to himself, mainly because it hurt. Or it used to. A lot. It was a one-way liaison where she would let herself be loved and he was always the active partner, the one investing romantic feelings, fighting the sentiment that she was one step ahead. Somehow it always felt like she was making a concession. Aang had thought for a while that he had enough love for both of them. At the end, that had not been the case.

'_You don't always get what you want._'

Aang couldn't honestly say that he knew what he wanted anymore. Maybe he would never know. Wanting something so bad was an illusion, one of those illusions Guru Pathik warned him about. What it was evident, though, was that he had _stumbled_ upon what he needed. By mistake.

It was not like he didn't notice Toph before. By the contrary, when he saw her on that boat he was honestly impressed at how much she had grown and developed during the last year, and how pretty she had become. Not that she wasn't before, but now it was not hidden. It was highlighted by the long hair, her curvy figure and her movements, unconsciously sauntering. He had even discussed it with Zuko and Sokka, when the were having one of Sokka's _manly _conversations. The three had been a little surprised, and Zuko had said that it had to do with the fact that they all had met Suki and Katara fairly developed, but Toph was another story. Now she was _clean,_ and that counted for a lot. They had laughed at her, true, but the real core of her impact came during their daily interaction. Her sense of humor was fantastic. She had always been sharp, but now her humor was refined by age and intelligence, removing the crass and leaving the wit. She would amuse him to no end. He didn't remember laughing so hard, or feeling this carefree, since before the comet, since before he had to step into his role of a fully realized Avatar and get involved in serious reconstruction efforts.

That was the thing. Toph had the gift to make him feel less important and less responsible. He hated making comparisons in his head or his heart. Comparisons were not fair to anyone involved. But he did know that when he was with Toph she would never confused _him_ with his role, even though, she accepted him for what he was. She would celebrate that he was a '_butt kicker unable to seriously kick butt_' and would make him feel that his function of balance was not a burden but a reward, that he may use or not to his advantage. She would make the weight _light. _

That morning, when the three girls had been in bad shape, and she had started guiding him through how to cure her hangover, he had felt for the first time in a long, long time that maybe, just maybe, certain feelings, certain needs, weren't wrong. Not that she had done anything overtly to provoke him or seduce him, far from it. But just the rightness of her shape against his, the stimulus of the flowery smell of her hair, and how comfortable she seemed without awkwardness, without spacing out or without ignoring him, had open a door of possibilities and maybes.

It had been wrong from him to kiss her when she was just trying to help him. He knew _that_. He just couldn't help himself. To a lesser extent it had to do with the fact that he could be honest with her about things like his 'repopulating obligations' without her freaking out or treating him differently. To grand extent it had to do with her charming face and her efforts at trying to be seductive, imitating some sexy voice and treating him like a little kid when _at least_ he knew more about kissing that she did. He couldn't resist her, so enticing even though she was not trying to tempt him. But once he started, he couldn't stop. Seriously. He just couldn't. He could feel her _wake up. _Her body would shiver and her mouth would become a feast of joy, an anteroom of pleasures that will prompt his wants, until all he wanted to do was to cross the doorstep.

After that first kiss, things became confusing. As in 'this is bad, but it feels good, so it cannot be _that _bad.' Not once did she bring up the future, the wrongness or the guilt. He knew now that there were reasons for it. She knew more than he did about his relationship. But at the time he was just grateful that she was not judging him, or looking at him like a roach, or acting like anything he wanted to do was inappropriate or sinful. And the Spirits knew she was a natural. From zero to one hundred. Total enjoyment of _them_, together. And he loved her for that.

Aang reclined in the bed and moved her a bit to put his head on the pillow next to hers. She stirred, still asleep, shifting her position and curling up on her side, which made him grateful because now he could spoon her while letting his mind wander. It was the wind. He couldn't sleep with the call of the wind on his ears. The monks would teach about the winds, they were airbenders, after all. The winds carried fantastic, foreign sounding, magical names. And each wind carried with it a different talent, a different tale. There was Mistral, the Northwest wind, of the sharp voice. And there was Siroco, the Southeast wind, hot and full of dust. And Lebeche, from the Southwest, that would carry soft accents from the past, and Gregal, cool and dry from the Northeast. There were many other winds, all of which he knew by name, albeit not in person. He had wanted to chase them as a child, convinced that sooner or later each airbender should face all the winds. He never had the chance before war and life happened, taking away the monks and his past, leaving him alone with a future. Aang was now, finally, in front of Tramontana, the fiercest of all the winds, and he was happy for that. The monks used to say that unguarded people lost their way when facing the Northern Wind, that the continuous howling of the Tramontana had a disturbing effect on the psyche. There was even an airbender saying that went something like '_as crazy as the North Wind._' Aang, however, had only felt joy every time he had gone out to follow the air current. He had gone windsurfing that morning while Toph stayed on the ground, looking at the mountains with her feet. He had faced the wind in bliss, wondering if it was true that after a while his senses would go away with it. Instead, he felt like a wind of change, hearing voices in the howl, and ended up coming down on cheerfulness, tumbling Toph on the ground, making her laugh while kissing her, whispering those nonsenses that she would seem to enjoy so much.

Aang smelled her hair in the pillow.

Lust and love. '_Was there even a difference?_' He had wondered at the beginning. And then he had discovered that there was, even before she had thrown it to his face. He loved her, he had no doubts. But he also lusted after her. He did not know what came first, and he didn't care. It made no difference to him, to them, if he lusted after her because he loved her or if he fell in love with her as a result of his lust. He had always cared for her, and that was a strong base upon which to build love and lust. Aang removed the hair of his sleeping beauty to expose her ear. He nuzzled her neck carefully, quietly.

They had been in the summer house for several weeks now, and together for almost two seasons. It felt to him like five minutes. Winter was coming to an end, and the north wind was not constant. When they arrived at the house, it had been dormant, gathering energy for its next assault – well, at least that had been the way the male caretaker described it. The caretakers. They were interesting - an old couple that Toph insisted came with the house and who were probably part of the foundations. The wife was the daughter of the previous caretakers, who had been the children of the caretakers before them and so forth. Her name was Guo and her husband's was Du. Guo's family had been serving Toph's family for _generations_. Guo did not approve of their scandalous relationship. After kissing Toph on the ground that afternoon they had gone to their room to make love. He could see the critical expressions of the caretakers while she walked with him, souring at her laugh, frowning in distaste at her leading the way while holding his hand. Guo had seemed particularly offended, as if Toph's open interest in them being together was a personal insult to the old lady. She had taken care of Toph when she was a little blind girl, loyalty to the family ingrained on her like religion. That the shy, fragile blind girl that was to be protected at all times would show up now hand in hand with a flying boyfriend, refusing to obey any rules, among them the unbreakable rule that the Tramontana was not a play-wind, and that it must be taken seriously, would defy all of Guo's preconceptions and incur her scorn.

Toph couldn't care less. She was not hiding the nature of their relationship, and even though she would not say it, he knew that she expected him to do the same. Secret. The word had a foul taste now. It had been a beautiful word between them for a while, until she made him feel ashamed of it. She had told him that he was not better than her parents because he was keeping her a secret. That had felt like a spear on his chest. Mainly, because it implied shame. And he _had_ been ashamed. Of the entire covert relationship. It hurt because it was the truth, a truth of sorts, though. He was not, and had never been, ashamed of her, but of himself. It was hard to explain -or maybe not that hard now. But he didn't like remembering that he had _made _her feel that way. He had made her sad, and said ugly, unjust things to her. And he felt bad every time he would remember. The fact that she would get angry at him again every time _she _would remember helped assuage the bad taste. He never thought he would welcome her bad temper until now. It was his atonement for being so stupid to begin with.

The days that followed the Agni Kai had been hectic days. He was anxious to take Toph away from the ice. For many reasons, the strongest being that he did not trust the gods and wanted to give her a chance to defend herself if he wasn't nearby. Also, he did not want Kuei near her. After kidnapping Bosco, he was probably asking for Kuei to exercise full retaliation, kidnapping her instead. Okay, maybe this was a far fetched notion but better safe that sorry. However, Aang couldn't leave the peace summit without closing some open issues with the nations, sanctioning some treaties and imparting some judgment. As the Avatar, it was his role to act as judge for grievances among the nations. Also, his birthday was that week and his friends had planned a celebration, so he needed to stay. Aang talked to Zuko, Sokka, Yin, Suki, and Katara about his concerns and without Toph's noticing, they made sure that there was always someone next to her if Aang wasn't available. He remembered a particularly endearing occasion, after finishing a long covenant between the Fire Nation and the North Pole. He and Zuko were talking and walking when they happened upon a lively crowd. Toph, Sokka, Suki, the fire soldiers and even Katara were playing dice and placing bets. Toph had been laughing, that mischievous, almost wicked laugh of hers. And all he wanted was to freeze the moment in time, keep the memory in a box, to re-open it and enjoy it years later. She had turned to him when she felt his presence, and yelled "_Twinkles!!_" and ran into his arms. He loved it when she would do that. When she was open with him and would ignore the whistles and crass comments of the other soldiers.

Years would pass, probably, before he could really grasp the enormity of the love of his little woman, he was sure of that. Years before he would fully comprehend why he was such a willing captive of such liberating relationship. Aang shook his head and held her closer, spooning her even more. The warm contact of her soft skin brought an immediate reaction from him. Arousal was always the way his body would deal with Toph. The monks always referred to romantic love as something to be enjoyed but necessarily fleeting. Enlightenment required letting go. He had decided at one point that he didn't want to be enlightened, got electrocuted by Azula and then decided that it was his destiny to be enlightened anyway. But now he understood why the monks were wary of such overwhelming feelings, because they took away control from yourself.

Aang had always been very good at controlling the feelings. He had followed all the rules of communing with nature while controlling his impulses, and would not indulge in self-gratification. He would wake up certain mornings after unnerving dreams finding out that he had made a mess. He would use his waterbending skills to clean the mess and would try not to think about it too much. His engagement to Katara had not made things that much harder because of the platonic nature of their interactions. Now that she was with Zuko he could see the difference in her demeanor. The way she would look at the firebender and the implications of their relationship, he wondered why he didn't see it before. Not that he had been completely clueless, but the old adage '_the worse blind is he who doesn't want to see_' had proven true. The entire thing had been screaming at him in the face. He had doubts before Toph came to the South Pole, all charm and fun. He had thought that a commitment ceremony would cure some of the problems and that, worse case, he and Katara would settle in a comforting relationship, like the one they had now, where they could do valuable work for the world and grow old together. He did not think in terms of riding koi fishes anymore, as it was not expected of him. Other things were, like responsibility, gravitas and children. Aang shuddered and buried his face on Toph's hair. He had been really upset when Zuko and Katara confessed, but it was a strange anger. He did not want to break Zuko's face as much as to break his own staff on his own head. It had hurt, a lot, but it was like settling a dislocated bone. Once the first shock of pain wore off, things made sense and he felt oddly free - and unreservedly stupid. He thought he was doing the honorable thing by choosing his intended instead of his lover, and found out that it was the worse illusion of them all. The illusion of doing the right thing while destroying that you cared about. There has been another, more insidious, illusion broken: that of the perfect Katara. That was a deeply hidden hurt, that he had not confessed to anyone and that he had not let permeate his outward actions. It was not Katara's fault. It was his, and the impossible expectations he had set upon her. Funny thing was, he never placed such expectations on Toph and somehow that leveled the playing field. When dealing with her, Aang was always dealing with an equal, with the same amount of flaws and virtues, and truth be told, it was a relief.

Aang moved a bit, separating his body from her sleeping form to better look at her under the moonlight.

He loved his delicate looking earthbender. He carefully and deliberately refused to control neither his impulses nor his wants when he was with her, partly because he couldn't … and partly because, truthfully, he didn't want to. Aang wondered if she was what his destiny had in store for him. The monks said that each airbender would face one day the wind that knew his secret name and that it would call to him like a furtive voice. He had heard the call, but not in the crazy accent of the Tramontana. He heard it on the ground, that afternoon, with his eyes closed, when Toph was teaching him to see the farthest peaks with his senses. It took him a while to digest that the call was not coming from the wind but from the earth.

And now, insomniac as a result of the wind's lament, Aang wondered about his destiny. Because on the flip side of fertility festivals and two hundred concubines was the fact that, if that was all you had, you were alone. Utterly alone, with a temple full of women and children that wouldn't know _you_. He remember his childhood with the monks. There was the presumption that the community was all that was needed emotionally, and that the search for enlightenment and inner peace should satisfy or assuage other desires, not all of them of the flesh but of the soul. Aang had been lucky. He had developed a deep bond with Gyatso, while some of his playmates and companions never had such relationship with anyone. Now, after seeing Sokka with Hakoda, and understanding Zuko's quiet pain about his father or his devotion, always tainted with remorse, to his uncle, Aang comprehended that his bond with Gyatso had been more than friendship, had been parental. And he understood more: he grasped that it has been as important to Gyatso as it had been to him, and that the attachment had eased the older monk's loneliness. Because Gyatso was a loving person, and sometimes is not possible to love the entire world. Sometimes, loving people just want to focus their love on a few. Aang felt a familiar pang on his heart while thinking that their connection and affection had probably cost Gyatso his life and the world to spiral into one hundred years of war. At the same time, and maybe for the first time he also realized that Gyatso would have sacrificed his life happily if it meant that Aang, his foster son, would get to live. Foster son. Gyatso probably had children of his own, scattered around the temples, that he wasn't able to acknowledge as such to keep the traditions of community. But not all monks were suited for the open concept community, and suddenly, the terrible notion of Gyatso's loneliness hit Aang square in the chest. He felt repelled at the idea of not raising his children, or sharing them with anyone else but the sleeping woman beside him, and he felt tears pooling in his eyes. He had never felt the need before to own anything. Appa was given to him as a companion, and his friends had all been gifts, but he had no real use for, or sense of, worldly possessions. But since that bizarre, crazy Contest, he couldn't look at Toph, or be with her, without feeling some level of possessiveness. And it was intense, and it was beautiful, and it was fulfilling.

Toph stirred again, probably feeling the prick of his stare. She would do that often. She would know when he was looking at her even if he thought her distracted. She rolled over on her back and suddenly opened her eyes, blinking, trying to place the source of the prick.

"Aang?" She asked, her fingers searching for his face. She found it and moved her fingers around his features, trying to understand the emotion coming from him. "What's wrong?" Her fingers touched his tears. He removed one of her hands from his eyes and kissed the tips of her fingers, without answering. She caressed his face.

"Tell me," she said.

"I don't think Gou and Du approve of our scandalous relationship," he said quietly, knowing that that comment would entertain her but not deceive her.

She shrugged, still half asleep.

"Guo used to hide me from the neighbors. She wouldn't let me go out and play on the beach unless everyone was gone for the day. She would scold my nannies if any of them tried to sneak me into town. I'm blind, I didn't care about the fact that it was not daytime, but I did care about the fact that she never let me interact with other kids. Her loyalties are to my dad. I don't care about her opinion. Let her disapprove all she wants. She still has to cook, clean and wait on us."

The moon fell full on her now, the wind still weeping on the outside, banging on the shutters. Her breasts, gorgeous by all accounts, shone silver like her back did before. Her flat stomach, her small waist, her navel, the promise of delights, everything shone under the moonlight and the moon shadows.

"I don't like people judging us," he said and let his fingers trace her, this time touching her.

Her expression was thoughtful.

"People will always judge. You're the Avatar, you're the last of the airbenders, duties are going to be imposed on you. It's the way it works."

She touched his face again.

"Now, tell me what's wrong," she said with a sweet tone that defied denial. When she was sweet, he was undone. That how it was between them.

He kissed her fingers again and this time he was crying.

"I love you. I don't want to be with anyone else. I don't care if my people die with me, I don't want to deal with that responsibility."

She embraced him and he put his face on her neck.

"You don't have to if you don't want to. You're still very young. Give time its due. It will tell."

He held her tight, his body against her, and felt her hands caressing his sides, moving skillfully to his arousal, making him tremble with her knowledgeable fingers.

"Now," she said on his ear. "I can tell what's right. Do you want me to help?" He nodded on her neck, like a child, moving on top of her, kissing her neck, nibbling on it. She moved gingerly, already an expert on what he liked, and precisely on how he liked it. When he was seated deeply inside her, feeling warm and comforted in his Toph-cocoon, he didn't move. He just wanted to feel her, so she caressed his back and raised her knees, crossing her ankles high at his back. He licked her neck and muttered.

"Marry me."

She did not bolt, he had to give her that. She caressed his ear and he felt her smile against his cheek.

"Why? So Gou and Du would stop judging us?"

He started moving, in and out of her, letting the sway of his pleasure point the conversation.

"I couldn't care less about their opinion," he said.

"You're lying." She started kissing him. She loved kissing while making love. He loved it too.

"I want to have legal flyingbabies."

"You're lying."

"I want everyone to know that you're mine."

She stopped moving, her frown burrowed.

"You're not lying." And then. "Why?"

"Because I never had anything that was really mine. I mean, only mine. Besides Appa."

She started moving and kissing him again, with joy and abandon, which was not the same as to say that she agreed with him.

"I thought I told you my opinion about 'mine'. Anyway, if I'm like Appa, go and marry Appa."

"Not the same."

"I can be your mistress. Appa can give me nasty looks every time you show up late."

"Nope. All of our friends ride on Appa. I don't want that _kind _of wife. Anyway, Appa is a boy."

They were building up to that point when conversation becomes superfluous.

"Shut up," she said, grabbing his lower back, picking up the pace following his rhythm.

"Say yes."

"Like that, yes, oh yes."

"Not that kind of yes."

There she was again, making him laugh. Against all possibilities, in the middle of their desire, while turning him down (for now), she could still make him laugh. And he was a trickster who knew the value of a good laugh, so he decided to let it go. There was time to convince her. She was not going anywhere, he knew that about her, and neither was he - he knew that about himself. Except for right now. When he was going into her, carefully stroking her need the way he had learned, making her forget about everything except him, forcing her to spend herself on him while calling his name. The wind was crying on the outside, carrying madness with it. He too could forget about everything except her. Yes, there was time for anything else.

.

.

.

.

* * *

_**La Rosa de los Vientos**__: Foreign for **Wind Rose**, is a graphic tool used by meteorologists to give a view of how wind speed and direction are distributed. Wind roses typically use 16 cardinal points, such as N, NE, etc., although they may be subdivided into as many as 32 directions. You can see an image of a rose wind depicting the Mediterranean winds on my profile. Just click on it. In Foreign, the name of this device sounds so poetic, you have no idea. _

_I always imagine that Airbenders, like sailors, taught each other the secrets of the winds. The Winds' names carry so much beauty and music in them: the Trade winds, the Abroholos (Brazil), the Alisios (Caribbean), the Ostro (Italy), the Pampero (Argentina), the Chinook (US), etc. All cultures had at least one god of the Winds, most had several._

_So I imagine the airbenders being versant on the winds, and the personalities that come with them. The Southern Winds are usually warm. That would explain Gyatso and Aang's personalities. Maybe those monks that wanted to make sure Aang was ready to fight were from the North. The Western Winds are usually mild, and the Eastern are welcoming. So the fact that the nuns were from the East and the West make complete sense in a windery way … _

_Anecdote__: Once I was in the Spanish Costa Brava and experienced the north wind, La Tramontana. I almost finished head first in the sea._

_Recommendation__: If you read Foreign there's a beautiful short story by Colombian Nobel Prize winner Gabriel Garcia Marquez called Tramontana. This is the link if you want to read it:_

_ http : / / www dot literatura dot us / garciamarquez /tramonta dot html_

_Fanart_

_Sorry for the lack of shame and pimping myself here, but I drew Aang's suave kissing techniques (you know the 'kissing by ambush' mastery that got him the waterbender in the finale, yeah, right) from chapter 7 of this story. Here is the link if you want to see it:_

_ http : / / adridere dot deviantart dot com / art / AMoH-Kissing-Ninja-Taang-101962820 or just click on my profile._

_ I mentioned before that I'm not an artist, I never took a class so sorry for any lack of grace._

_.  
_


	32. Epilogue

_**Warning: **__This episode contains material unsuitable for fierce feminists. Please be advised that if you are a feminist it may make you throw up and convulse involuntarily. The author of this piece disclaims all responsibility and advises you that you read at your own risk. _

_

* * *

_**XXXII. Epilogue**

The three of them were sitting demurely drinking tea. Not fire whiskey, not tundra vodka, tea. Ginseng, Jasmine and Hibiscus.

"I can't believe it," Katara said frustrated, rubbing her belly, "I can't believe it how we managed to get knocked up."

"At least you're no dealing with the fact that Avatar Kyoshi _never _designed the maternity version of the Kyoshi garb. Try wearing _that _now." Suki grumbled.

"You've wardrobe problems?" Katara asked in disbelief, "try being accused by an entire nation of getting pregnant to snare away the heir to the throne from his intended aristocrat."

"You guys are all sissies," Toph dismissed them with a wave of her hand, "try being accused of stealing your best friend's Very Important fiancé, _while _at the same time cheating on your own Forced Royal fiancé. That's a true offense." She crossed her arms behind her head. "I'm the Queen of the Floozies, Toph the Monk Seducer."

They pondered about this for a moment. Suki then asked,

"Is Mai still sending you packages of dead fish speared by senbons?"

Katara nodded. Toph was happy. She was back on earth, she could see _everything._

"Yes. Zuko got me a new detail. His name is Lee, Zuko says he is the best in the entire royal guard to protect me against Mai. Seems like he can feel her coming or something."

"I wonder why," Toph mumbled, picking her toes.

"You may be in luck, though," Suki interjected, "Ty Lee told me in confidence that Mai may be in love now. Get this, she may be totally in love with … _El Tuerto. _Ty Lee says that at the beginning Mai would get really angry every time the bird would show up, but soon it became the only thing that would snap her out of her boredom. Ty Lee also says that now she goes with it everywhere, _hunts_ for the bird and calls him '_Baby_'. She says that Mai almost looks happy."

"She hunts for the bird? I thought it was vegetarian, like Momo. At least, it used to be. That's a bastard of a bird if you ever found one." Toph sighed, el Tuerto going from 'he' to 'it' again. "It broke Momo's heart. After chasing poor Momo all over the South Pole, now the evil bird doesn't write, doesn't visit, nothing. Twinkles has been trying to distract Momo, but the poor animal keeps looking at the window waiting for that ugly piece of chicken. The only thing that makes Momo less unhappy is Aang's poetry. It breaks my heart."

Katara patted Toph's hand in understanding. Toph decided to change the topic, too sad to talk about it anymore.

"I still don't get why are they criticizing you, Sugar Cakes: you are ensuring the royal line, you make Sifu Hotman look human and approachable, and you were the victim after all. It was not your fault that your fiancé publicly ran off with your best friend."

Katara assented.

"I know! By all accounts, I should be the victim here, but somehow the word on the street is that the honorable fire prince was consoling me from my broken heart and I seduced him in return, getting pregnant in the process. It's so unfair," she grumbled, "he's like the honorable guy doing the honorable thing and I'm the trashy water tribe hussy that get's knocked up."

Suki fanned herself.

"No, you are the Fire Lady. So what if you're almost nine months pregnant on your coronation ceremony?"

"It's the almost nine month pregnant belly during the royal wedding that got people talking." Toph mumbled. Katara was offended.

"What did you want us to do? Elope? Zuko wanted a big wedding, he kept quoting his family's honor, and that took _months_ of preparations. By the time everything was in place, well I was showing."

"Well, at least you got to do your water ceremony at the South Pole, whatever the Fire Sages may say about the validity of _those_ rites. So if you force the math a trimester it _may_ look like you guys were legal during firebaby making, that should count for something."

Katara sipped her tea.

"I heard Sokka choking when the Fire Sages started praising my virtue in front of the entire nation. My brother is so silly sometimes. He still doesn't get that those vows were written centuries ago. He took it personally, like the Fire Sages even know about sarcasm."

Toph wiggled her toes.

"You know, we never talked about it Katara, but good thing that you were on Appa that day of the Ebi. Lot of explaining to do to Sokka if it wasn't because of Appa."

"I know."

"Zuko seemed very proud," Suki commented, remembering the recent ceremony, "he kept pointing to your belly and comparing its size to mine."

"Better than Sokka pointing yours to everybody and yelling 'I AM THA MAN!' in the middle of the reception. That was crude." Toph concluded.

"Yeah, getting you pregnant was all that Sokka needed to overcome his commitments issues," Katara assented.

"Yep," Suki answered thoughtfully, "but let's not talk about the morale issues among the Kyoshi warriors right now. Seems like having an openly _stupid _loose woman (one of those that get knocked up by mistake) as head warrior have made them lose some moral ground in the village or something." She shrugged. "Well, they were the ones who started running around with the Code, so I guess is a toss up."

"Men." Toph mumbled.

"What about you and Aang, Toph? Are you guys finally tying the knot?"

Toph drummed the table with her fingers. She thought about telling the truth or playing it safe. She opted for the later.

"Twinkle Toes is the pits," she said suddenly, "he wants his stupid Commitment Ceremony at my house. My mother is still recovering from the suggestion of a vegan menu and a tofutti egg custard cake. I'm slipping Azula's happy pills on her tea just to help her survive the idea, imagine if I we ever get into real wedding preparations."

"Does that mean yes?" Katara insisted. Toph tried something else.

"Hey! Did you guys get our wedding gift? We sent it early on purpose. The idea was to consume it before the real summer heat started."

"Frankly," Suki groaned fanning herself, "who does a coronation in the middle of summer?"

"Fire nation royalty, it's all about summers here," Katara said tiredly, "and yes Toph, we got the crate full of bananas. Zuko was excited and I was exhausted. Hopefully he would let go of the stupid banana obsession now. Anyway, I don't know why I bothered sending a list of suggested gifts to you."

"I won the bet, my airguy kicked you fireguy's butt, that means, _my _gift. Anyway, my bridesmaid dress was really cute, that's what Twinkle-Twinkle said. No way of stealing the show from you, though, with the pregnancy scandal and all." Toph prodded Katara's belly with her toe. "You are right on season, a royal summer baby in the middle of summer." She prodded Suki's. "Suki is out of season. A Water-Kyoshi summer baby? Hum!"

Suki stopped fanning.

"You know Toph, it's time we talk to you about the facts of life. You need to run very fast. If you don't, when that flying monk finally catches you is going to be like this," she gestured towards her belly and Katara's, "if you are not fast enough, who knows what that monk is going to do to you. Sokka keeps saying that Aang files his nails every time he mentions your name. I'm deeply concerned."

Toph did not answer. Katara was watching her.

"Toph," she asked sternly, "you are running, aren't you?" Toph hid behind her cup of tea, drinking like it was going out of style. "Oh, by Yue! I knew it! You're letting him catch you!"

Toph spitted some tea.

"It's not my fault! It's my feet fault! See?" She raised her feet and wiggled her toes in Katara and Suki's faces. "They _refuse _to let go of the monk."

"Oh by Kyoshi!" Suki said, sounding so close to the hag that Toph almost got confused, "so all those rumors out there about the ear-rubbing are true? Katara, it seems like the monk is not allowed to run either!"

Toph was offended.

"Hey," she said, "I'm not the one about to pop here! There's such thing as moral authority, so quit it! Anyway, why don't we talk about you two instead? Didn't you drink precaution herbal tea and stuff?"

Suki was nonchalant.

"The apothecary forgot to mention the fact that the tea may not work on freezing temperatures," she shrugged. "Stupid South Pole. And I, genius that I am, took almost all my Kyoshis on the trip. We're doubling the island population thanks to _that _vacation. Seems like the face off between the Kyoshi Code and the Agni Code was a complete defeat for Agni. Not that Zuko's men were complaining or anything. By the way, Chin says hi. He doesn't really know how many of the future Kyoshi babies are his, so he's officially moving to the island."

"That Chin," Katara said sipping her tea, thoughtfully, "we actually offered him a high advisor position and he turned it down. He said, listen to this, that he's ambition-challenged. He prefers to hang out with Sokka and the Kyoshi on a tropical island. He did promise Zuko to give him his opinion on matters by messenger hawk for two copper pieces per question." Katara sipped her tea. "He's very cheap for such a good advisor." She concluded.

Toph was lost in thought.

"You never answered about firebaby, Katara," she said, prodding her friend's belly with her toe again. "You don't do herbs, you do fancy fluid bending. How come you got knocked up?"

She could feel the embarrassment.

"I was distracted," Katara said quickly, "so Suki, how you like your room?"

"Don't even try it," Toph warned, "Tell the truth. I _finally _can tell if you're lying. I'm back."

Katara sighed.

"I tried," she said, "I honestly tried, but every time he would pine my hands over my head to stop me from bending. He was adamant."

Suki and Toph were impressed.

"Wow," Toph shook her head, "Isn't Sparky the romantic? Forcing you to make a decision by making it irrevocable for you. And you say that he doesn't love you."

Katara was smug.

"Oh, he does love me. He tells me all the time now. He curses Agni, his honor and then tells me he loves me, in public." Toph felt her smile happily. "What about you Toph, does Aang tells you that he loves you?"

Toph smiled a secret smile.

He would say more than that. He would say things like "_Y__ou never talk about us in terms of forever, but you give yourself to me like there's only one day left for us to love. Come here my porcelain earthbender, let me adore you." _

"Oh yes," she answered instead, "he tells me that he loves me every time he sees me. He grabs my feet and says: _Throw something at me, Sifu T. _That's romance with a flying monk for you."

Suki nodded. She knew that kind of romance, that was Sokka's romance too.

"The only time that Sokka has been into poems was that night before the Agni Kai. He came to my room banging on the door screaming that he loved me and saying: 'Suki, I'm yours and only yours, and I will kiss you under the moon until you fall on your knees or I fall on mine!' It was really romantic. I still don't know what you told him, but it worked."

Toph didn't like to remember the Sokka episode. It reflected poorly on both, Sokka and Aang. Every time she thought about it she would get upset and mistreat T.T. for a while. He would bear it, in penance, until she would feel remorse and let the resentment go … pending next time. So she changed the topic.

"Hey Suki, are Sokka and Zuko keeping that scrupulously measured physical distance between them? Poor protocol guys were going crazy at the wedding making sure there were twelve inches of separation between them at all times."

"Well, yes," Suki answered, fanning herself a bit irritated, "at least Sokka is not carrying the ruler around anymore. You know, the one he would use to measure the physical distance between him and Zuko? I know that the Agni-La thing gave Sokka nightmares for months, but frankly!"

"Tell me about it," Toph sighed, "poor T.T. being dragged to stand between them at all times for the last year. Last time we went to the circus we had to get them _two _boxes of fireflakes. They even refused to share the fireflakes. '_Not manly_' they said."

They drank their tea. Katara bended more on their cups.

"And how is Appa?" she asked Toph, "he looked kind of sad when I saw him at the stables."

Toph tapped her cup with her fingers.

"He's fine. He's just sad because he had to leave Nyla back at the temple while traveling here with us. Nyla can't travel with the pregnancy. That shirshiu is _humongous._ I don't know how many ugly little Appas she's carrying, but I can tell when she walks that it feels like four times her original size."

Katara was curious.

"What happened with the custody fight with June? She was really worked up that Nyla would like to stay with Appa."

Toph shrugged.

"I paid her off. Basically, we struck a deal where Nyla spends six months of the year with us, and any calf born stays with us too. Cost a pretty penny, I won't lie to you. But I'm rich, so it's OK."

"I thought you wouldn't see a copper piece until you were twenty five." Suki said in wonder.

"Didn't I tell you? The Fireguys gave me the _most _amazing gift ever. Seems like when they were at the South Pole intercepting Kuei's messages and tampering with the order of things in the kingdom they intercepted messages between Kuei's and my parents. Kuei wrote to them telling them of his intentions of making me queen, and my mom was so excited with the idea of being _Queen Mother_ that she started making all these crazy offers to Kuei regarding my dowry. And the fireguys drafted some terms on Kuei's name and send them to my mom, who got the family's attorney to draft them, seal them and send them back to Kuei. So after everything was solved happily, the fireguys gave me the sealed dowry contract. They were fantastic. I only needed to promise to marry a guy (_any _guy, nothing in the contract says that it had to be Kuei) and _cash-ing_! Of course my mother added an _incentive _provision that says that as soon as I become pregnant I would get another bucket full of money. Which is great for the future, because everything with my monk is a charity exercise. No fiscal sense whatsoever, only the greater good. Anyway, we're having a lot of fun right now doing stuff like tourist traveling and reconstructing the temples. My poor mom, though, she was so excited at the idea of being called _Lady Di Bei Fong _instead of Mistress Diamantina Bei Fong. Poor woman. I keep shattering her dreams."

Toph smiled happily. Katara and Suki chuckled too.

"I wonder with what else those fire soldiers tampered with." Suki wondered in awe.

"The concubines."

"What?"

"Kuei concubines. The Fireguys sent a royal decree officially granting them the possibility of divorce if they wanted. Any concubine interested in divorcing Kuei just had to yell "I divorce you" four times, once towards each cardinal point, and then she was entitled to her jewelry and a hippo-cow. Any children had to stay with Kuei, though."

"You don't tell! How many concubines does he have left?"

"Not sure, I think someone told me that the last tally was fifty four. It's not a bad number for an Earth King."

"Kyoshi knows that's still 53 too many for my taste. Have you heard from Kuei?"

"Aang … I mean, Twinkles has." His name had become their secret code. Reversing all orders, in public she always referred to him by a nickname, in private, he was Aang. The same for him in a less uncompromising scale. Whenever he called her by her name she would get goose bumps, and _those _were private. "Kuei writes to him on matters of state. He was deeply offended at the fast one T.T. pulled on him, but eventually relented because he cannot get into an open fight with the Avatar. Anyway, the fireguys caused so much havoc in the kingdom with the counter-intelligence that Kuei had been really busy putting out fires for the last year. I love those fireguys!"

She then added, thoughtfully.

"For a while I thought about dumping Mai on Kuei. I mean, she's totally his type, but Aan … Luv-Monk forbade me. He was very serious, but now that he's dealing with Momo's depression, he may change his mind. I mean, that way Mai gets her dream of becoming royalty, and _maybe _she will break the chicken's heart. That won't make Momo happy, but it will make _me _happy."

Suki touched her with her fan.

"You know, Toph, listening to you talking about Appa and Momo, I think that against all predictions the day that monk finally catches you for real, you're going to be an excellent mom," the warrior said with conviction. Toph shrugged.

"Twinkle Toes and I, we really have fun. I don't know if any eventual children we may have will be able to survive _us_ or their childhood, but if they manage to do either they are going to be really happy kids."

She touched her toes again. The skin on her feet was smooth, really smooth. Aang would rub them with almond oil often. The original argument was that it was needed to protect her skin from cracking, due to her barefooted-earthbending habits. The truth was that after rubbing her feet and finishing the foot massage sessions, they would invariably end up finding other uses for the oil. Naughty uses that would bring laughs and faint pink cheeks the morning after. Her Luv-Monk was fascinated by every curve of her body, not only her feet, and she was equally captivated by his. And truth be told, one of those secrets she hadn't shared with anyone, not even Katara and Suki, was that they were in no rush to alter their current situation. After all, he was a _skilled_ waterbender and, thankfully, the tea had work the first time so they had the freedom to choose _when_.

They were on her parents' home in the north, trying the winds, when they had made a decision about their future. It was the end of winter and the Tramontana was banging against the houses in anger. Aang had been enthralled by the pull of the air currents, while she mostly stayed on the ground, seeing the haul of the wind with her feet. He would come down sometimes, to grab her and get her to fly with him, her usual repulsion at being away from her element subsiding after everything she went through in the South Pole. They would laugh, the strong draw of the breeze on their faces, getting lost in the mountains. It was then when La Tramontana took their senses away, or filled them with its craziness - who knows? - and made them decide that shouldering a lost race was too much for a single monk to tackle and that they could try to figure out his destiny together. The result was that they got engaged (ensuring financial and social freedom in the process), but promised each other a couple of years of liberty before officially settling down and trying for a first batch of flying babies. Aang was the one to put down the condition that if they happened to like the entire parenting adventure, they would try for more down the road, but were not obliged to do so. She was the one to put the condition that they should at least enjoy their relationship and their youth before facing marriage. He had been happy at her saying yes, but had been equally quick at accepting her condition, eventually confessing that his previous engagement experience had made him wary. So they both kept weaseling out of the Commitment Ceremony in front of her parents, (the dowry contract didn't say anything about _when_), their friends, acquaintances and society in general because another decision that they had reached was that even if his role as the Avatar was public, their lives were private and they would keep them as such.

Katara next to her was sighing.

"I'm not sure how things are going to be for me," she mumbled wistfully, "this baby is a firebender, it makes me sweat all day, it kicks me every time I waterbend too much. I don't know, I've so many doubts."

Toph patted her hand.

"The firebaby is not the problem Sugar Cakes, as much as the fact that your in-laws are into murder, world domination and lunacy. Look at the positive side, at least there's no divorce. You can be sure that your marriage won't end because of some baby problems. And if the baby carries the five-generation-Ozai-Azula genes, you are the right person to nurture and waterslap some sanity into him or her."

"I don't know if I should feel comforted or terrified at your words, Toph."

"Probably both. Look at your mother in law, she had managed fairly well and she can't divorce either of her psychos, neither the husband nor the daughter. How is she doing by the way?"

"Fine. She's really excited with the idea of the baby. Dad is visiting, waiting for the birth of his grandchildren and they have become great pai-sho pals. They play long matches and keep each other company. I'm so happy my dad and my mother-in-law get along well. It saves us so much awkwardness."

"I'm _sure _of it," Toph changed the topic, fast, "Is Iroh back at Ba Sign Se? I heard he's opening a tea chain."

"He is. He was so quick at passing down the fire crown to Zuko, you have no idea."

Katara still sounded concerned. Toph felt pity and decided to help.

"Listen Sweetness, I'm going to give you a secret that rich people around the world share. It's called _the nanny_. If by any chance you don't feel like being with your firebaby for a while, the nanny will be there for you. Time alone with Zuko? The nanny. Don't want to breastfeed? The nursing nanny. Want to be with your child? Nanny goes out for tea. I saw you on that cave Katara, my advice: get a nanny. Everything will be easier afterwards."

Katara sounded distrustful.

"I thought you didn't like nannies. Would you hire a nanny?" She asked. Toph shrugged.

"Maybe, maybe not. T.T. and I are playing everything by ear. Neither of us really had parents: he was raised by monks, and I was raised by nannies. So we have decided that the day I get pregnant, we are going to try and be parents. It may be a complete disaster, who knows, we may not even like it, but we are not forcing the issue. Anyway, the Pebble is living at the temple with us now. We adopted him. The Hippo decided to stay at the South Pole and the poor guy seemed lost. So he cooks, cleans and he's really excited at the idea of being the nanny when we finally have kids. Aang is happy to let him help. I'm telling you, my Luv-Monk is a charity depot."

Suki and Katara leaned over Toph.

"What about the airbenders? Zuko says that Aang was really adamant for a while on reconstructing the way of life of the Air Nomads, with everything _that_ entails."

Toph smiled faintly.

"Remember how he _promised _me that he would get a harem and repopulate the temples on his own and what not? Well, guess what? He now denies everything."

"He's not going to do the festivals?" Katara asked in shock, effectively surprised "Zuko said that he was planning to invite the four nations and everything!"

"That was before he understood fully what a foot massage is," Toph groaned, "so now he's all like _no, only you _and _you are my numero uno._" She imitated his voice remarkably well. "He doesn't want anyone else. Lucky me. Anyway, I told you already, he refuses to raise any children in a commune. I tried to remind him the other day that he has an obligation, but he refused to pay attention. You know how he is. He chases me, catches me and then says that his destiny is _his_ to find. He is going all Sparky on me. Stupid Sparky. No offense, Sweetness," she sipped her tea, "so, it seems like my future Committed Guy's destiny is monogamy and a conventional family, and _my_ destiny is to repopulate an entire race."

A chill ran through the air.

Toph could hear them, faintly, in the back of the room.

"_So many blessings bestowed in the Chosen One and there she is, so uninterestingly happy. A boring disgrace._"

"_At least she's not pregnant in a kitchen. She has a big guy wearing an apron in the kitchen, that should count for something._"

"_Are you going to be exercising some powers here to provide us with entertainment? Forget about my Chosen One, that one only cares about the flying tattoos and vice versa. Those two are blissfully tedious. But the painted warrior, that one looks interesting. Maybe a tryst with Agni's kid?_"

"_Fate, you confuse adultery with debauchery. Leave the kids alone. Where is your cigar? What did you do with your cigar, woman? We agreed that you wouldn't quit again during this century!"_

"_Sod off, Tlatli, I need some edge. Eternity can get boring without an edge. Hey, what about Agni's kid's sister? That one looks good. What if we break her out of the loony-house?"_

"_Fate, stop it. If what you want is entertainment I can do something exciting. What about Agni's kid finding out about his father-in-law real pai sho game? or better still, what about psycho husband finding out?_"

"_What about we get the happy Uncle (you know I like the uncle) and throw it in the mix of Fire Mom and Hawt Warrior?_"

"_You know what? The Dragons are right. You have no shame, no sense of decorum, nothing. And I'm the Goddess of Adultery, I know about lack of decorum. Let's go before you do something really stupid like getting the flying monk to end up this story with the waterbender, or get Agni's kid to remember suddenly that he's in love with the Knife-girl. You know, dumb stuff like that. Right up your alley_."

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**The End - El Fin - Finale**

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_This is all folks. It was a fun ride for me. _

_Now, dear reader that haunts the halls of fanfiction, if you smiled __at least once __through the entire ordeal, I have a favor to ask:_

_**Would you let me know (1) which one was your favorite chapter? and (2) your favorite character, if you have one? **_

_See, this entire fic is a test of sorts, where I'm trying to assess not only myself as a writer but what makes people tick. You have __ all __surprised me with some of your reactions in the past and (definitively) you all helped me figure out many things (among them my English grammar). _

_So, even if you have never done so, drop me a note with your answer. You don't even have say hello if you don't want to. Just write the number and the name. This TOTALLY counts as charity! :-)_

_And so just you know, my favorite chapter is "La Rosa de los Vientos", by far. My favorite character in this story is Toph. She was always true, even when she was lying, and I love her for that. My favorite original idea is the Cave of Sorrows, as I often feel that I'm living in my own Cave of Sorrows of dreams denied._

_.  
_

_**Morals of this story:**_

_Abstinence Only __**only**__ works if there is abstinence, so if in doubt, go get some tea!_

_You never know when the fortune teller may be drunk, so beware of prophecies and predictions of the future._

_Don't be in such a rush to grow up and have babies. If you're seventeen and in love, enjoy the ride, don't burden your life before your time._

_You can never go wrong with the classics._

_Bad poetry is evil, but good poetry makes the world go round._

_Always leave space for humor. Man does not live on drama alone._

_Be careful while teaching seduction arts to a monk._

_Don't confuse lust with love, but don't underestimate the power of either._

_Be wary of writing Zutara from Toph's point of view. Earthbenders are sneaky, they go underground, move the soil under your feet until you find yourself in a pit, not being able to let go of the girl._

_Secret:__ I'm totally a Zuko girl. First cartoon crush in my life. But then I fell for the blind girl and had to get her a boyfriend. Aang was at hand. So I added some spice and voila, monk-a-la-hawtness. They are still cute and adorable, so I'm a Zutarian who wrote herself into the most unashamedly Taang shipper!!_

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_**Trivia **_

_(Just in case you are interested)_

_Ius Primae Filia__: My take on Ius Primae Noctis (Right to the First Night) or Droit de Seigneur (Right of the Lord), that controversial medieval practice of the lord of the land having the right to claim the first wedding night (presumably the virginity) of the wives of the serfs. Controversial because historians can't decide if it really happened or not. _

_Names of the OCs__: I went into an English Chinese online dictionary and this is what I got (I'm not sure about the Chinese dialect these translations reflect): Lu Shi: lawyer. Guo Du: Caretaker. Nu-er: Daughter in Law. _

_Movie references that I remember__:_

"_Highlander" (there can be only one!)_

"_Mommie Dearest" (I saw it in cable years ago. Fate is an angel compared to Joan Crawford)_

"_Driving Miss Daisy" (I saw it during a phase of only watching Oscar winning films. Yep, that romance scroll was about a lady, fifty years younger than the one in the movie, and her chauffeur…)_

"_Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" (Somehow, the name of this movie makes me think about the Kamasutra. Yep, exactly, that's the same image I get. So, Jumping Tiger, Kicking Curtains is not that far off…)_

"_Clash of the Titans" (Andromeda chained to a rock)_

"_The Godfather" (Never go against the family, dead fish messages …)_

"_Lord of The Rings" (My precious),_

_The Contest__: I made it up, but the concept is classical. Folk and fairy tales are full of stories of suitors doing three tasks to win the hand of a maiden. The idea of the maiden attached to a rock held captive by, or offered to, a monster is from the Perseus/Andromeda myth and from the legends of Saint George and the Dragon._

_The idea of a King's Champion that is sleeping with the maiden he's championing is purely classical: Arthurian legends. La Morte d'Artur and all the Arthurian cycle is full of love triangles. Arthur, Lancelot and Guinevere. Tristan, Isolde and King Mark. Even in the saga of the Nibelungs, Sigfried wins Brunilde for King Gunther, while she used to be his lover. (Really, why bother with cable, the classics are full of racy stuff …)_

_The rest of the story, the weaving, the plot and the dialogues are mine. I hope you enjoyed it, I sure did. But mostly, I enjoyed all of you._

_ I started writing and posting without following what I understand now are the unspoken rules of fanfiction. I posted the first five chapters at the same time, I updated often, I didn't get that reviews are the currency to understand interest, I didn't even know what a beta was. If I had to do it again, I still would do it like this. I have met so many interesting, wonderful people this way, and it amazes me the things that all of you had to say. Even the flames. Writing is shouting in the dark, I am so excited and humbled that someone out there got to hear me.  
_


	33. Sneak Preview

** - SNEAK PREVIEW -**

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**THE ART OF GETTING YOURS**

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_An ancient prophecy. A divine screw-up. A race against time to impregnate a damsel. A War Manual chuck-full of unintended romance tips. Saving the world has never been so awkward._

_ The Saga Continues ... Sequel to 'A Matter of Honor'._

_ Taang/Zutara/Sukka_

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**Chapter I – The Blunder**

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_**In the beginning there was nothing, and [then] it exploded.**_

_**Terry Pratchett**_

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_In the beginning the Jade Emperor created the heavens and the earth._

_and he moved upon the face of the waters, _

_and he created the Gods and the Demons, and the light and the darkness,_

_and all creatures that breathe out of clay,_

_and he saw that it was good,_

_and he wanted ... EVERYTHING._

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_**Twenty-one years ago, somewhere in the Universe ...**_

_**.  
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Fortuna, née Fortunata the Fair, Goddess of Destiny and Chance, famous for living and loving life to the fullest, was bored. The problem was Eternity. Perpetuity. Infinity. The certainty of Time without End, which can get heavy after a while, particularly when it comes with _all those _memories. Gods are not like mortals, they do not have the solace of forgetfulness. Being a Goddess meant that Fortuna (Fate to her friends, and Doom to her enemies) was cursed with all the actions from her past and all the events from her future. No escape, no relief, no succor.

"No rest for the wicked" she shrugged, and blew some smoke in the air. She needed a distraction, some entertainment. Fate smiled suddenly. An idea bobbed in her head. "Playing the odds," she mumbled, "nothing like playing the odds."

The Goddess of Providence put out her cigarette, and moved her fingers in dullness, and shuffled the little specks that looked like stars to the mortals, but that were the secret kanjis of their destinies. The speck she moved was supposed to be the destiny of a sweet maiden from the hidden mountains in the northern part of the Earth Kingdom. The destiny of a shepherdess who was not destined to greatness but who was, nonetheless, fated to save the world in anonymity. Fate removed the speck but left the other gifts the maiden was supposed to have: the sweet character, her kindness, the happy life albeit humble, the certainty of finding and keeping her true love. Fate took out just the tiny bit that would have made her different.

"I'm doing you a favor," she told the little soul of the baby about to be born that was dancing among the stars, "you don't want this responsibility on you." Fate then turned her blind eyes upon the souls that were spiraling towards earth on their way to fill those babies about to be born, waiting for the first cry of life to crash into the tiny bodies. "There!" Fate said smiling, "You feel like the right one!" and she threw the speck upon a spiraling laughing soul, but before she heard the usual bells that signaled a new destiny upon an essence, she heard "_THUD!_"

Fortuna stopped on her tracks; she moved her fingers again, trying to figure out what happened. She then felt it: another baby soul, a ravenous one, had gotten hold of the speck.

"Crap!" the Goddess of Destiny swore, "come back here you little thief!"

She dove among the baby souls, trying to get hold of the spirit that was running away with the destiny. The soul was fast, dashing towards earth in a flash, laughing too, but Fate was an old deity and she knew just by instinct that the crystalline sound was a wicked laugh.

"By myself, what did I do!" she mumbled, frantically racing following the blue trail left by the baby and extending her blind fingers in the darkness trying to catch the star that was the most perilous destiny to lose of all of those in her books. She redoubled her speed when she sensed the spiraling soul entering into the tunnel towards earth, she extended her hand and she could feel it, the borders of the soul grazing her fingers, "Gotcha!" she said closing her grasp at the same time that light and noise crashed into her with a "_Bang!_" throwing her backwards, and there she was a nanosecond later, sitting in the floor of a birthing room hearing a baby cry.

Fate stood up, rubbing her forehead. The birthing room was full of women and courtiers, and she heard the voice of an old mortal woman, with white hair piled up in a topknot.

"The baby is healthy, Lady Ursa."

"Darn," Fate mumbled, upon looking at the blaring naked baby, "At least this time is a girl."

The ladies in waiting rushed to bundle the baby in deep crimson blankets. The tired mother extended her arms to hold the tiny baby that kept screaming like a tortured soul, but when her fingers grazed the bundle, a jolt of electricity sparked, tiny blue flames almost singing the hand of the mother.

Fate heard the squeals of excitement.

"A prodigy!" the woman who had handed the baby to the mother said.

"Call the Prince!" Another voice, identical to that of the woman that had just spoken, ordered, "this is a good omen! Call the astrologers!"

The room burst into activity and Fortunata the Fair stepped back into the shadows cursing herself from the heavens all the way to hell.

"Crap, crap, crap!!" she kept saying before retreating back to space.

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_**Present Day, Somewhere in the Pantheon of the Gods**_

Long Dragon, his elegant fingers tapping rhythmically the scroll in his hands, surveyed the room full of assorted deities. He knew her well; she was an expert at avoiding meetings that will put any kind of new responsibility on her shoulders.

"Tlatli," Long Dragon turned to a gorgeous Goddess to his left, who was dressed with strands of strategically placed beads and nothing else. "Where's Fate?" ...

_You can read the rest of this story here: http : / / www dot fanfiction dot net /s/4761269/1/_


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